//------------------------------//
// Lesson Zero 
// Story: Shisno Chronicles: Friendship is Magic 
// by nightelf37 
//------------------------------//

Lesson Zero

In the dreamscape…

"Chronicle!"

"We missed you!"

"Hey guys! I'm glad the portal mirrors are up and running again!"

Chronicle was having a short reunion with two of his cousins, Blue Pen and Hickory Dickory. The three were just breaking out from a group hug.

"Well, we did have help from some of the draconequui 'recruited' from the Outbreak," said Hickory. This earned the green earth pony a snarl from their unicorn cousin. "Oh, right. Discord 'Prime' was a real pain in the arse, wasn't he?"

"I think that would be putting it mildly," mused Pen as he frowned as well. "Who knew reality warpers can be such serious lechs?"

"Coming from a sex maniac like you?" snarked his brother. "Now that's something."

The green pegasus unfurled his wings. "Well, after I got 'skanked' by that bastard… even I have standards."

"You wanted to kill him, right?" Chronicle asked.

"Not just kill him. I wanted to ████ him, gut him like a Cornish game hen, pull out whatever ████████s he has that I gutted, and then force-feed them down his throat!"

The other two ponies were shocked with what he said. "Wow, that's dirty," said the unicorn before turning to face Hickory. "What about you? How was your Discord?"

"Well, unlike you, I'm not a full-on fighter partly and I didn't bring any artifacts with me. I had to settle for doing a prank war with him while sweet-talking to him on ending his evil ways." The earth pony gave a sigh. "Unfortunately, given what he did to them, my friends weren't as merciful and re-petrified him. I hope that in the event we are to free him again for whatever reason, Pinkie Pie and I can prank together with him."

For some reason, the mention of that pony made Chronicle turn away in wondering. Pen noticed and asked, "Hey, Timmy. Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you find a 'special somepony' in Equestria Prime?"

"No." was the instant reply.

"You're lying. I know romance when I see it. Also, Timerity told me right after I…visited her that you do have one, and that she has one too. And before his world ended up time-frozen from the outbreak, Blue Diary let slip that he has one too."

Hickory got interested as the subject changed. "So who are their special someponies? Mine is Pinkie Pie."

"Well, Blue Diary confessed to me that he has a fancy for Raindrops, although he finds it conflicting with the fact that he's still living in with Ditzy Doo and he pretty much serves as Dinky Doo's 'uncle'."

"Teenage pregnancy."

"And Timerity's already dating Rainbow Blitz. And considering the mirror phenomenon between your worlds—"

"No. Even if that's the case, Timerity and Chronicle are like violet and purple."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Well, they are the same in many ways, but they have their differences. By principle, Timerity's better in fighting and flexibility, while Chronicle is more forgiving and when it comes to a fight between the two, in terms of determination to protect, he will prevail."

Blue Pen turned to face Chronicle. "So, who is your special somepony?"

This question he refused to answer and forcefully woke himself up, evicting them from the dreamscape. Fortunately for him, it was time to wake up anyway; he had someplace special to go today.


SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM—SCFIM

Sunrise at Ponyville…

It's been a week after the eventful revelation the Keepers of the Elements of Harmony (and Spike and Mystic Shield) discovered concerning their friend Chronicle, not to mention their…"clash", to put it mildly, that led to it. Things have returned to normal, although rumors of the revelation have spread. It is not certain who spread it (assuming one of them did it) or who found out (assuming no one did), but Chronicle was all right with it; it was about time he learned what it means to be in a romantic relationship.

But that could wait another time. Right now, he and Spike had work to do. He already dispatched a couple of magical clones to various places. In fact, the one who was in the library assisting Twilight Sparkle was a clone as well. Where's the real one? We'll find out later.

"Quill," Twilight said.

"Check," Spike answered as the item flew over his head as he held another one and a scroll in hand. THe quill settled down by two others next to a stack of paper.

"Parchment."

"Check."

"Extra ink."

"Check."

"Extra extra ink."

Spike was slightly bemused by now. "Check."

"Rook to F2. Checkmate," snarked Chronicle, being the one who passed the items to Twilight, who now had three inkwells on the table.

"Is that everything on the checklist?" asked their 'boss'.

"Yep," Spike replied.

"Great." She walked over past him. "Now that we’ve completed the checklist of things we need to create a checklist, we can make my checklist of the things I have to get done by the end of the day. Ready?"

"Ready!"

“Item one. Create checklist of the things I have to accomplish by the end of the day.”

The baby dragon’s eyes popped and he dropped to the floor with a weary groan.

"I think you're going overboard with this bit of work," commented the blue unicorn. "Do you have a checklist fetish or something?"

"What's a fetish?"

This was answered with a facehoof. "Of all the—just forget about it."

Spike went over and whispered in her hear, probably explaining. Upon hearing what he had to say, she finally answered, "…No, I do not."

"Okay."


C—TS—S—C—TS—S—C—TS—S—C—TS—S

Now Playing: My Little Pony Theme Song

{scene opens to reveal the "Twinkling Balloon" in front of the daytime sky, with Twilight Sparkle, Chronicle, and Spike as its passengers}

Twilight Sparkle: My Little Pony, My Little Pony♪

{Twilight looks around from the balloon as it descends into the clouds}

Off-distance choir: Ahh ahh ahh ahhh…♪

{cloud obscures balloon from view, which Rainbow Dash then plows through, breaking it and revealing Ponyville}

Other singers: (My Little Pony)♪

{Rainbow makes a loop-de-loop as the 'camera' zooms in and enters tunnel vision, and exits it to show the balloon touching down. There is now a locomotive train and its station.}

Twilight Sparkle: I used to wonder what friendship could be♪

{Twilight jumps off the balloon just before it lands and trots forward while nodding at a passing Mystic Shield; once the balloon does land, Chronicle jumps off immediately after his charge and greets Mystic as well as Spike climbs out.}

Other singers: (My Little Pony)♪

{Spike gets off of the balloon and runs to catch up with the two unicorns, waving at Mystic as he soon leaves the screen; close of Twilight's face as her face brightens.}

Twilight Sparkle: Until you all shared its magic with me♪

{As Chronicle catches up, camera turns around to show their friends ahead: (left to right) Pinkie Pie hops in place, Rarity makes a charming pose, Applejack looks ahead with one foreleg crossed over the other, Fluttershy simply looks cute as she looks sidelong at the camera, and Rainbow Dash flies in and stops just above the four}

Rainbow Dash: Big adventure♪

{In a sky backdrop, she flies in, then zooms off, leaving a rainbow trail, which covers the screen and serves as a screen transition}

Pinkie Pie: Tons of fun♪

{In a Sugarcube Corner, she blows a yellow balloon, which expands until it fills the whole screen as a transition, then bursts}

Rarity: A beautiful heart♪

{Inside Carousel Boutique, she flips her hair as she stares right into the camera; a twinkle emerges from her eye and serves as the screen transition}

Applejack: Faithful and strong♪

{Outside at her farm, she raises her hind legs and bucks a tree, sending down a bunch of apples, which serves as the  screen transition}

Fluttershy: Sharing kindness♪

{Just outside her cottage, she nudges an apple towards a white bunny; a swarm of butterflies fills the screen from below and serve as the screen transition}

Chronicle: It's an easy feat♪

{Inside his training range, he swings his signature "magic horn blade" from right to left, the streak coming from it serving as the screen transition}

Twilight Sparkle: And magic makes it all complete♪

{A distance from the library, Twilight teleports in and the camera zooms out more to reveal the rest of the gang; to the right are Applejack, Fluttershy, and Chronicle, to the left are Pinkie Pie and Rarity, above those two is Rainbow Dash, and at the left side of the screen near the edge is Mystic Shield; as the other five mares edge closer to Twilight, Chronicle does too, closing his eyes and giving a wide smile while Mystic just crosses one of his legs with the other.}

Twilight Sparkle: You have…♪

All: …my little ponies♪

{Spike pops out in front with a scroll and breathes green fire into it, sending the letter to the far-off city in the mountains; Canterlot}

Twilight Sparkle: Do you know you're all my very best…♪

All: …friends?♪

{Cut to a throne room where Princess Celestia sits, two black unicorn guards a ways below her seat; the smoke that was Spike's letter flies over to the Princess, stops in front of her, and returns to its original form; Celestia then opens it with her magic (golden aura) and a smile; the scroll possesses a picture depicting Twilight and company posed together, with Chronicle positioned in front and sitting close to Rarity and Fluttershy, this time closer to the latter.}

{cut to the show's title, which has an added yellow box above reading "Shisno Chronicles", then switches to the text "Made for Television by Lauren Faust", then to the text (in the same format as before) "Fanfic written by nightelf37"; fade to black}

End Song

"Wow! Promoted to Opening Titles, huh?"

You already said that, Pinkie.

"But that was the Japanese version, where "gala" is a foreign concept."

Same deal. Now let's continue with the story.


C—TS—S—C—TS—S—C—TS—S—C—TS—S

Daybreak…

Spike was dragging a very long scroll across a busy street, its end thankfully held up by (the clone) Chronicle (and no one getting in its way) as the two of them eyed it worriedly while walking after Twilight.

"How are we doing, Spike?" she asked as they stopped. 

"Let’s see. We’ve already dropped off your cape at the cleaners…" Spike stated. "…returned the blackboard you borrowed from Cheerilee, ordered new parchment and quills from the stationery shop…"

Twilight walked over upon hearing that. "Hmm…seems like we’d just placed an order for those a few days ago."

Spike threw a look over his shoulder at the yards of parchment stretching behind the pair, with Chronicle still on the other end. "Can’t imagine why we go through so many of them."

"Sounds like we’re ahead of schedule. What’s next?"

"Cupcakes!"

The blue stallion gulped at this. Chronicle, snap out of it! Pinkie's not making cupcakes out of ponies! You would know!


C—TS—S—C—TS—S—C—TS—S—C—TS—S


In Sugarcube Corner…

Chronicle opened a box on the store's counter containing a batch of pink-frosted cupcakes. Spike eyed the frosted baked goods with an eager, shuddery moan, but Twilight’s eye was a more critical one, with Chronicle being passive.

"Uh—I only ordered twelve," the bookworm said. Mrs. Cake emerged from the kitchen, tray on head…and a distended stomach. I'm gonna have to ask for that 'scene' to be edited out. He didn't know it, but she was pregnant.

"Oh, I know, dear, but I had an extra," replied the baker, taking some boxes back in. "So I thought I’d make it a baker’s dozen."

A baker’s dozen consists of thirteen items rather than twelve. Bad luck.

Spike let his tongue hang out with another shudder, but Twilight magically yanked him back and stepped up for a closer look. "Oh, that was very thoughtful of you." Mrs. Cake returned to the counter. "It’s just, some of the icing from the extra cupcake is getting all over the one next to it. See?"

The older mare leaned over the box…and saw that as far as she knew, all the cupcakes appeared to be evenly iced. She decided to play along regardless. "Oh…sure."

"It’s just that I’m planning on sharing these at a picnic later, and I don’t want anypony to feel like somepony else is getting more icing." Twilight gave a big grin to Mrs. Cake.

"Oh…no, uh, of course not."

"Like they'd notice or care," said Chronicle, but he was ignored as his charge 'picked up' a small scraper off the work counter and whisked it over Mrs. Cake's shoulder, unnerving her slightly.

"Not to worry. I’ll just move some of this one to…" Twilight nudged a dollop of icing away from one and divided it between two others. "…hmm…I think I may have scooped too much…oops, now those two have more. Let’s just try this again." Which she proceeded to do with fierce concentration. 

Mrs. Cake kept her forced smile, recoiling slightly from the bits of flying icing. Down below, Spike began to lose his patience. Chronicle was trying again to convince Twilight, but to no avail.

"Twilight, nopony will notice or care. Maybe Pinkie will notice, but she certainly won't care. I, for one, won't."

"Hmm…no, that won’t do. Let me just…" Spike was hit in the face with some icing, and Chronicle repelled them with a wall barrier; even it can dissipate him. "…hmm, put some here…then…no, that’s not right. A little more on this one, and a little bit…ah, wait…" The three around Twilight began to worry as her face gradually rearranged into a slightly crazed expression. "…I’ll just…ooh, a little bit here…and here…and…perfect!"

'Perfect' being 'stripped of all icing except a small dab in the center of its top'. Mrs. Cake had been liberally spattered, and she woodenly replied, "Hmm, oh, yes, much better." 

Twilight floated the lid on the box. "Okay!" She turned away, levitating the box. "Time to tackle the next item on our—" 

"Perhaps we can put it on hold." As it turns out, her balancing the icing had left all of it on Spike. Chronicle was levitating whatever nearly went on him  and munched on them. This surprised both her and Mrs. Cake.

"Oops. Looks like we’re gonna have to add “give a baby dragon a bath” to our list." Said baby dragon just lashed out his tongue, wrapped it around his body, and yanked it back to set himself spinning in place. The tongue promptly cleaned away every bit of icing and retracted into his mouth, and he gleefully swallowed the sweet stuff as soon as he stopped. 

"Aaand it's been taken care of," snarked the stallion as he and Twilight, with Spike on the latter's back exited Sugarcube Corner, the box floating before them.

"Very efficient! And a little bit gross."

Spike's only response was a noncommittal grunt. 

"Next time, we're ordering muffins," Chronicle said. "They're much healthier."


C—TS—S—MCC—C—TS—S—MCC—C—TS—S—MCC


Back in the second floor of the library…

"Looks like that’s everything," Spike said, checklist in hand, as the three of them entered the room with the box of cupcakes.

"Almost everything," Twilight said as he jumped off her back. 

Spike read the end of the list. “Triple-check checklist to make sure we didn’t miss anything when we double-checked the checklist.” He decided to mark it off. "Uh, check." He then dropped the quill and scroll with a sudden groan, exposing the throbbing, inflamed wrist of his writing hand. "I’ve been holding that quill so long I’ve got a claw cramp!" 

He and Chronicle went over to her, the former with a bandage on his wrist, as she levitated a cupcake. "Good thing we don’t have anything to report to Princess Celestia this week. I don’t think I could write another word."

for some reason, this threw a sudden scare into Twilight so that she let the snack drop. "We haven’t sent a letter to Princess Celestia this week?"

"Why? Is that bad?" She leaned into his face, making his bandage fall off.

"Bad? Bad? Of course it’s bad! I’m supposed to send Princess Celestia a letter every week telling her about a lesson I’ve learned about friendship! Not every other week, not every ten days—" She jabbed a hoof into his chest. "—every single week!" She then backed away.

"Huh?"

"Oh, I'm sure she can let off a schedule slip," Chronicle said. "No matter how much I look at it, I just don't see her flipping her lid from one uneventful letter."

A panicked moan from his charge indicated that he ws being ignored yet again as she went over to her desk, surrounded by scattered and levitating books. "Where’s my calendar, where’s my calendar?" 

Spike reached in a drawer as they flew past. "Where it always is?"

As soon as he fished it out, it got yanked over to a stand with enough force to carry him along. The calendar landed properly and flipped open, but he would ave crashed into the stand’s support and slide down to the floor were it not for Chronicle catching him.

"Would you please be careful around Spike?!" reprimanded the stallion as he set Spike down.

"Sorry. When did we send the last one?"

"Last…Tuesday?" Spike answered Twilight.

"If I recall correctly, that was the day you guys beat the snot out of me," remarked the blue pony.

"And today is…?"

"…Tuesday."

"Do we have any backup letters to send?"

"No. The last one was two weeks ago."

She snapped upright with a cry as she ran up to her bedroom. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" She went over to her bedroom window, popped up at it, and looked at the sun. "If I don’t send her a letter by sundown, I’ll be…" As her companions went up the stairs after her, they saw a scenery spontaneously appear behind her. Upon later investigation, from her Surveillance camera's point of view, it looked like the background flared red behind her. "…tardy!"

Spike nonchalantly pushed it away to restore the view of the window, then Chronicle teleported it to his "training range". 

"What’s that, now?" asked the dragon.

"Tar-dy, Spike. Late!" Twilight flopped onto her bed. "I’ll be late! Ooh, how could I have let this happen? I’m usually so organized. She pulled the blanket over herself. "I’ve never been late with an assignment!"

"Oh, please! You’re the most studious student ever!" He threw the blanket and jumped down from the loft. "I’m sure the Princess’ll forgive you if you miss one little deadline."

"It's not like there are other students of hers with better records than you, right? I just don't see her expecting you to be a perfectionist. You've shown her many times that you are not so."

"I’m afraid to take that chance, guys. This is the ruler of all of Equestria we’re talking about. The pony who holds my fate in her hooves!" She stops for breath at this point, but a sudden thought stopped her from continuing. "What if she doesn’t forgive me?" 

"Yeah, I don’t think she’ll—" Spike was cut off when she teleported down to get in his face.

"What if instead she starts thinking I’m not taking my studies on friendship seriously?"

"Why would she—"

Twilight began to pace as Chronicle walked down the stairs. "What if she makes me come back to Canterlot and puts me back in school and makes me prove I’ve been taking them seriously by giving me a test?!?" She stopped and gasped. "What if I don’t pass?"

"But why wouldn’t you pass—"

"She’s my teacher! Do you know what teachers do to students who don’t pass?" There was a a brief pause, during which neither boys had no immediate vocal response.

"They have to either retake the test, or repeat the year?" Chronicle guessed.

"They send them back a grade! But she won’t just send me back a grade. She’ll send me back to… …Magic Kindergarten!"

As she sat on the floor, freaked-out and shivering, she happened to spontaneously summon a window shade…right in front of a Surveillance camera again. And Spike went over and snapped it up, making it disappear. Upon later inspection, Chronicle would see that it showed her mortified, in a classroom, sitting on top of a far-too-small school desk, and being jeered and pointed at by all the other unicorn fillies seated at their own desks.

"Twilight…" Spike nudged her. "Twilight!" 

She finally snapped to. "Huh?"

"That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!"

"We've ever heard, Spike. I think it's stupid too. Besides, Twilight, you helped saved the world. Not once, but twice," Chronicle reminded his charge. "There's no way she'd be that ungrateful to you." And if she is, I'm gonna talk her down about it, Princess or not. The only thing that can get in the way of that is the government.

"You’re not gonna be sent back to Magic Kindergarten."

"You’re right. I have no reason to worry." The dragon smiled proudly as she stood up. "Because I’m going to solve a friend’s problem and get that letter to Princess Celestia before sundown!"

This elicited a very loud groan from her number-one assistant and her bodyguard as she leaned over to the former.

"So…got any problems, troubles, conundrums, or any other sort of issues, major or minor, that I, as a good friend, could help you solve?" Twilight ended this with a big grin.

He thought hard for a few seconds, grunting with the metal effort. "I got nothing." 

She immediately turned to face her bodyguard. "What about you? Any lingering feelings from you-know-what? Or maybe there's some sort of strain between you and—"

"I seriously doubt you know anything about non-family relationships. And for Luna's sake, we haven't even started! Now you scared me off. And no, me sending relationship reports to substitute for you is not a good idea. As for my other issue, that was unfortunately solved last week. And if I do happen to still have a big problem concerning him, I don't need friends to solve it, I need a therapist." Or my mother. Damn, I should talk to her about this.

Twilight's face fell and she backed off with a sigh as she trotted downstairs. "Then it looks like I’m gonna have to find somepony who does have a problem!" 

"This won’t end well," groaned Spike after she's gone.

"Want to send a letter?" asked Chronicle.

"Nah. Hopefully this will be solved before it comes to that."

"Just like with me?"

"Yeah."


C—S—S—C—S—S—C—S—S—C—S—S

Eyecatch (video-type) - A giant clock ticks as Twilight Sparkle run left to right to left again in panic. Spike and Chronicle watch her as they stand on either side of the clock. The show's logo is seen on the upper left.


C—S—S—C—S—S—C—S—S—C—S—S

"The clock is ticking"…

In Mystic Shield's Self-Defense Academy For Unicorns…

The eponymous teacher wasn't conducting class today. Right now, he was enrolling a couple of new students. He had no idea why it was only now, but decided not to dwell on it. A Chronicle clone stood next to him to survey the new students as well, being co-teacher after all. Greatstone was present too, now 'promoted' to an apprentice who can teach in his (and Chronicle's) stead should he be unavailable for whatever reason in the middle of classes. The same privileges have been given to Tricky Books, Chrono Cards, and Bullseye.

The to-be-students were four foals and two adults. The first foal was Ruby Pinch, who is apparently related to Berry Punch, who in turn is a close friend of Minuette. Her coat was carnation, her mane was thulian pink, and here eyes were green.

The second was Tootsie Flute, who was adopted recently by Bon Bon and Lyra. He had trouble thinking about that. She had a baby blue coat, a lavender mane, and an eye color similar to that of the darker portion of her mane.

Third was Snails, though Snips wasn't here as well. Probably because he wasn't learned enough to use magic. It was the same deal with Sweetie Belle, not that he'd allow her in his class anyway, regardless of Rarity's consent. After that explosive lemons incident, he's rather not be involved with them. At least not her or Scootaloo; Apple Bloom was okay.

The last foal was a filly named Firelock, Firecracker Burst's little sister. She had an orange coat, two-toned red hair, and green eyes. Of all the four, only Snails had his cutie mark.

The first adult was a mare named Berryshine. She shared Berry Punch's colors (and cutie mark), except—other than being a unicorn—her hair was kind of like Rarity's, though not nearly as meticulously maintained. The relation between her and the "resident drunkard", who by the way owns a winery, is still unknown, however.

The other was a sleek black stallion with a buzz-cut white mane, a stuffy white tail, and a rectangular mirror cutie mark. His name is Morpheus, which was a bit of an oddball name by pony standards. His special talent is disguises, and can make himself look like anypony he's seen. However, his voice acting is terrible, and his disguises are only as good as the details he has perceived, so that means he has to take a really good look before he can pull off an effective disguise.

Mystic asked by he confided all that in the first place and he said that a pink pony went over to him and asked if he was going to Mystic Shield's academy. He said he was, and then she told him to "Pinkie Promise" that he would not use his lessons for evil or morally questionable purposes whatsoever. He couldn't find a way to weasel out of it, so he decided to relent just to get her off of his back (literally). The teacher had no idea what to say about this, but decided it was not worth dwelling over.

"All right, ponies," he declared. "Before I can accept you in my class, I need to verify that you are capable of casting magic and have enough power to cast the two basic spells I will be teaching. This goes for the adults as well, as cases of magically-weak unicorns exist. Now…" He 'summoned' a brick from "magicspace" and set in in from of him. "Lift the brick."

And, one by one, that's what they all did. Snails barely passed, his magic starting up reminding Chronicle of revving up a car engine, but his efforts were enough for Mystic to accept him in his class.

"Good. Now that you've all passed the first test, Greatstone here will evaluate your magic power." he gestured to the light brown unicorn, who gave a nod. "And if you do pass, he will conduct an orientation class to evaluate your other traits."

As the six new to-be-students went over to the apprentice, the Chronicle clone asked Mystic a question as they walked over to the far wall opposite the door. "Say, not that I want you to pester her about it, but why doesn't Rarity take our classes again?"

"Well, from what her sister Sweetie Belle told me, she already attends Sensei's classes, who teaches Ponyrate, Griff Thai, Zebrakido, Minofu, and weapon arts. She thinks it's a hassle to start attending my classes as well."

"What's their difference between karate, muay thai, aikido, and kung fu, which I think is taught by the other masters in the Martial Arts Group?"

"Karate is a minotaur martial art, while Ponyrate is an implementation of that art designed by an earth pony seafarer named Ocean Rope. Zebrakido is aikido developed by a zebra whose name I can't remember. Its difference between aikido taught by Ebon Belt is that its movements are much smoother and more refined, although they don't take pegasus wings into account, which pony aikido does. Kung fu is a martial art originating from the Griffon Kingdom east of Equestria, and Minofu is based on that, but doesn't take wings into account since minotaurs don't have them. As for muay thai…" Mystic stopped upon realizing he doesn't know it. "What's muay thai?"

Whoopsie. Maybe it doesn't exist here. "…Never mind. Forget I asked."

Just then, Twilight Sparkle entered the dojo, and the two of them can detect a twinge of panic in her face.

"Mystic Shield!" she cried out as she teleported over to them. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"…Um, no."

"You look like you're getting some new students. May I—"

"No," Mystic cut her off. "Only I can give you something to do. Nobody eager to do something for me without me telling them first is permitted, whether or not it's to 'win points' with me. My teacher Aegis, who I learned this 'trade' from, told me that accepting them often leads to disaster due to that eagerness."

Twilight's ears drooped. "Oh. Um, any… uh… problems with your students? Conflicts, troubles, conundrums, or any other sort of issues, major or minor, that I, as a good friend, could help you solve?"

Mystic put a hoof to his chin. "Let's see. Other than some of them not performing as well in class, and a few dawdlers while I lecture, nothing you can help with." He raised a hoof to prevent her from speaking more. "And no, the only ponies I can trust my schedule and problems with are Chronicle and my apprentices."

"Why don't you trust me?"

"The main reason why is because our scheduling methods are opposites of one another. You keep a schedule most convenient to yourself and, as much as you may deny it, expect others to follow it. I, on the other hoof, conform my schedule to others for their convenience, but of course I don't try to please everypony, as one of your friendship reports mention."

Right. Rarity's fashion show.

"If you have nothing else to discuss with me related to my classes, I suggest you leave, please."

Twilight hung her head in defeat at this, then teleported away. Chronicle wasn't too happy about this. Oh dear. Something's wrong with her. But what? I think one of my clones will know.


C—TS—S—MS–G–RP—TF—F—B—M

"Take your time"…

Elsewhere, at Sweet Apple Acres, Rainbow Dash, and two Chronicle clones with a reinforced barriers around them were doing demolition work on a barn. All three wore transparent safety goggles. The pegasus started into a flying kick and a savage yell, crashing into a wall and out the opposite one. One of the two 'unicorns' began to barrage the barn with giant magic "shurikens". Normally, these only hurt organics and not damage the environment, but only because Chronicle set his power that way. The other one was cleaving stuff in half with his signature "magic horn blade".

At a nearby ditch, Applejack—with a crash helmet instead of her stetson—took cover. Splinters flew every which way as the trio of "demoponies" continued chopping, bucking, biting, slicing, and blasting their way through every piece of wood they can reach. Further away, one of the chunks whistled through the air and embedded itself in the road just in front of Twilight, bringing her up short in her walk to the farm. 

"What in the world?" she gasped as she took in the full scope of the barn demolition and paused for a moment. "Rainbow must be angry with Applejack!" She gave a shrewd smile. "She must hate her guts! Oh, wonderful! And from what I know of Chronicle's opinion of Applejack, he must've finally snapped! This is great!" She then zipped ahead to deal with the "problem", reaching the pegasus first, who was coming in for another pass. "Rainbow Dash! Stop!"

The latter found herself telekinetically grabbed by the tail, just short of crashing through the barn wall again. The rest of her hung free as Twilight trotted up. The two Chronicle clones stopped what they were doing and one of them walked over.

"Listen, Rainbow." She gave a wink. "I know you’re upset with Applejack, but don’t worry. Whatever it is that has come between you two, I’m sure that I, as a good friend, can help you resolve your problems." 

"Uh, Twilight. This isn't what it looks like," said the clone that approached.

She took no notice of him or the thoroughly confused look that Rainbow was sending her way. When she released her hold on the multicolored tail, its owner hung in the air for a second before thudding to the ground. "Uh, what are you talking about?" asked the pegasus as she stood up.

Twilight pua a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder "Oh, Rainbow Dash, you don’t have to hide your feelings from me." She turned the mare's face toward hers. "I can tell you two must have had a terrible fight."

The magical clone couldn't hep but stifle a chortle. "Oh, I hope you don't mean it like I think it is." Do you seriously think she has an affair with you? Twilight then faced him.

"And Chronicle, I should've known your disdain for Applejack would've gone this far."

"What?"


C—TS—A—RD—C—TS—A—RD—C—TS—A—RD

"…But hurry"…

Rainbow now lay stretched out on her back on a nearby bench, her goggles removed. Twilight sat alongside on her haunches, her mane tied back in a bun, with a pair of glasses balanced on her nose and a quill and clipboard floating overhead. The overall effect resembled a psychiatrist’s office, with Rainbow as the patient on the couch. The clone that was called in was standing nearby, as if in line, while the other was watching discreetly from the barn.

Twilight patted Rainbow’s head, taking notes. "Now, why don’t you tell me all about your issues with Applejack?"

"I don’t have any issues with Applejack," she replied.

"Neither do I," said Chronicle. "Not at the moment, anyway."

"You don’t? Then why are you destroying her property?"

"Because she asked us to." He called toward the ditch, "Isn't that right, Applejack?"

The apple harvester peeked up from the ditch with a smile. "Yes, ma’am." She pulled off her helmet. "I wanted to put up a new barn, but this one’s gotta come down first." She chuckled before putting it back on. "Now get back to it, RD!"

Rainbow sat up and donned her goggles. "You got it, boss!" As she lifted off, Twilight ditched her glasses and undone her mane.

"I’d take cover if I were you," the farmpony advised  the "friendship problem" seeker.

She followed her own advice as the winged wrecking ball rose to an altitude of several hundred feet, directly above the barn. Twilight let off a little cry of shock and leaped into the ditch, landing alongside Applejack and hunkering down just as she has done. The two clones just watched from where they stood, their task finished as they waited to be dissipated. Applejack would no longer be needing their service today.

A shrill whistle of air marked Rainbow’s high-speed descent, joined by her own yell just before she smashed squarely into the dilapidated structure. It disappeared in a cataclysmic blast that briefly tinted the sky a lurid red and threw out a rainbow-hued wave similar to that from a Sonic Rainboom, as well as a multicolored mushroom cloud. 

The velocity of the detonation as well as the resulting dirt and rubble instantly made the clones vanish and a mass of dirt and rubble fell into the ditch, burying the two mares down it. Applejack was first to emerge and threw a cheerful wave upward before jumping up to ground level. Twilight extricated herself a few seconds later and trudged off with a disappointed sigh. The aftermath of this extreme tear-down work had left her mane slightly disheveled.


C—TS—A—RD—C—TS—A—RD—C—TS—A—RD

"We got hours 'til the sun explodes"…

Twilight was now trotting away from town through a stretch of meadowland. "Oh, I can’t believe I wasted all that time. I should’ve just come here first. Fluttershy always has some fear she’s trying to get over. As a good friend, I’ll be able to help her." She finally approached the cottage, then peeked around one corner. Her eyes popped in surprise, at what she saw. 

In a clearing, the meek yellow pegasus was facing off against a very large, angry, roaring brown bear. Chronicle (the real one) stood off from a distance, curiously not in a battle stance. He didn't even look alert and prepared to protect his friend.

"Why isn't he making a move…" the unicorn mare wondered to herself.

The bear rose to its hind legs, and Fluttershy galloped straight between them. After it peeked through with a puzzled grunt, she rocketed in and landed a flying kick to the back. As it tumbled through the air, she grabbed a hind leg and twisted to throw it flat on the grass. Her next move was to yank the leg toward the head, bending the massive body double and forcing a ground-pounding bellow.

Twilight was horrified at this. "Fluttershy?" Chronicle on the other hoof was making a somewhat mesmerized smile.

The pummeling continued with a stomp on the back and a hard twist that forces the beefy neck around 180 degrees, after which Fluttershy released her hold. As the bear collapsed senseless to the lawn, Twilight’s jaw looked ready to fall off its hinge from sheer disbelief. She shook her head clear and paced in place.

"How can this be happening? Of all the days she had to stop being such a scaredy-pony, she had to pick today!" she said as she walked away, her ear twitching briefly. "What am I going to do?"

Chronicle just continued watching as Fluttershy now stood atop the bear’s back. She kneaded the broad muscles with her hooves, eliciting a low groan of pleasure from the slackly smiling creature.

"You really should have come to me sooner. You were carrying so much tension in that shoulder," she said to the bear. She got a relaxed little noise from the bear—having given it a rather extreme massage with no malicious intent as Twilight thought.

The blue stallion just gave a dreamy sigh. "I love it when she stands up like this."


C—TS—F—C—TS—F—C—TS—F—C—TS—F

"Tick tock, doc"…

Spike and the Chronicle clone with him were walking down a path in the park, the former with the box of cupcakes in hand. As they did, they heard talking. They picked up the pace and saw their charge standing on a bench, talking to her reflection in a puddle.

"It’ll be all over! My time in Ponyville! My advanced studies! No, no. You’re a good student. You can do this. Ohh…but what if I can’t? You can! You just have to keep it together! Keep it together!"

"Are you talking to…yourself?" Spike asked. He approached her and waved a hand in front of her feverishly determined face. 

The sound of laughter snapped her upright, then a bubble of magic seemed to manifest around her head and obscured it as she fell over from the bench and wound up huddled on the ground. 

What's going on? Does magic run rampant like this on nervous magically-inclined unicorns? Chronicle thought. The scene in the bubble showed three leering, jeering silhouettes on a scorched plain under a sick red sky pointing at Twilight. Okay, that's creepy.

Spike was the first to do something about it, namely poke his claw at it, bursting the bubble. "SNAP OUT OF IT!!" he yelled. 

Twilight shook her head clear. "Huh?"

"Are you okay?" Chronicle asked.

Instead of answering, she looked across the meadow. Her two companions followed suit to see three fillies playing jump-rope, enjoying themselves, and laughing innocently. 

(Ruby Pinch was one of those three. It's been a few hours since the orientation class in Mystic Shield's Academy and she was allowed to leave. She passed the test by the way, though she would later get a reprimand from Berry Punch. As it turns out, she did it without her consent.)

"Twilight, I’m really worried," Spike said.

"You and me both. My Harmony Link sensed something wrong, but the signs were too vague for me to figure out what it was." Spike didn't turn in confusion as he's been told about the Harmony Link during the time Chronicle had been…obsessive with his training.

Their charge covered her eyes for a moment, then dropped her hooves helplessly. "I mean, this letter thing is really getting to you." Spike nudged her with the cupcake box. "Here. You’ve been so anxious all day that you completely forgot about the picnic. Why don’t you just relax and go hang out with—" He was cut off as she whirled to face him, suddenly crazed.

"The picnic!" Her assistant recoiled, but she levitated the box out of his grip and galloped off with it. "I should go see my friends!"

"I’m glad you’ve come to your senses."

"I'm getting a feeling she hasn't yet," mused the clone as he turned to face Spike. "Punch me, will you? He'll want to know about this."

"All right." Spike did as requested and the clone disappeared.


C—TS—S—C—TS—S—C—TS—S—C—TS—S

"Tik tok, on the clock"…

Pinkie Pie was hopping cheerfully through the park with a picnic basket in her teeth. Finding a suitable spot, she stopped and set the basket down, then nipped away the cloth tucked into it. Three balloons floated up and away, taking the basket with them due to their strings being tied into its bottom. Pinkie aimed a silly grin and puzzled look at the others gathered; Applejack laying out a picnic blanket, Fluttershy sitting on the grass and staring up after the basket, Chronicle sitting next to her and rubbing his head as his clone's discoveries rushed into his brain, Rainbow wearing sunglasses and applying suntan lotion (?!), Rarity rummaging around in a basket of her own, having dumped out most of the contents.

"Please tell me I did not forget the plates!" the fashionista said before straightening up with a gasp. "I did! I totally forgot them! Of all the worst things that could happen, this is The! Worst! Possible! Thing!" The next thing she did was magically whisk a couch—all the way from Carousel Boutique, no less!—and collapsed sobbing onto it. "Why, why, why?…Uh?" She quieted down, finding herself on the wrong end of five puzzled/annoyed looks. "What? You didn’t expect me to lay on the grass, did you?"

"As a matter of fact, I did," Chronicle replied bluntly. This earned him a glare from her. "And then you would complain about the dirt you just landed on." 

Rainbow adjusted her shades (whose supports weren't for pony ears, Chronicle realized) and flopped down across the blanket on her back. The cupcake box landed just behind her head a moment later, with a set of violet hooves visible just behind that. Red-violet eyes peeked up from behind the black lenses. Twilight had arrived, her mane scrambled and her grin deranged. For some reason, a donkey’s bray was heard. 

Six disconcerted picnickers looked back at her, Rainbow getting up. The grin didn't waver even a hair. 

Applejack was the first to speak up. "You all right, hon?"

"No!" she replied. "I am not all right." Her pathetic pout got everypony upright with a chorus of concerned responses. "It’s just terrible."

Everypony save Chronicle leaned closer, the stallion knowing what the problem was. "Yes?"

"Simply awful."

"Yes?"

"It’s the most horrific trouble I’ve ever been in and I really, really, really need your help!"

"Yes?"

"My letter to Princess Celestia is almost overdue, and I haven’t learned anything about friendship!"

As the stallion did a facehoof in response, the other five relaxed with a unison sigh.

"Oh, thank goodness. I thought something really awful had happened," Fluttershy said.

Twilight can manage only a monkey-like screech as the others (sans Chronicle, whose face began to twitch) turned back to their picnic. She teleported over to Pinkie and Rainbow, startling the latter into dropping her sunglasses. "Something awful has happened!" Then to Rarity, who spat out the punch she was drinking as she reclined on her couch again. "If I don’t turn in the letter on time, I’ll be tardy!" Finally, she teleported to the center of the group, grabbing at Applejack. "Tardy!"

If the group sigh threw her off balance, the round of laughter that followed this outburst really got her boiling over.

"No offense, sugarcube," said Applejack. "But it looks like somepony’s gettin’ themselves all worked up over nothin’."

Twilight slapped the orange-tan forelegs away. "This is not nothing! This is everything!" She began darting from one friend to another. "I need you guys to help me find somepony with a problem I can fix before sundown! My whole life depends on it!"

By this time, she ended up nose to nose with Pinkie, whose cheerful demeanor hasn't even been scratched by this tirade. "Oh, Twilight, you’re such a crack-up!" she giggled. She promptly tumbled onto her back with a hearty laugh.

"Come on now," said the other earth pony as the party thrower got up. "Have a seat and stop sweatin’ the small stuff."

Twilight just voiced an exasperated groan and trotted away, letting off a second one for good measure before teleporting out of the area.

Fluttershy turned to face Applejack. "Wow. I’ve never seen Twilight so upset before."

"Ugh!" groaned Rarity and the others glanced her way. "What a drama queen!"

"Speak for yourself," grumbled Chronicle, who was keeping in pressure like a kettle.

Rarity gave an embarrassed smile and cleared her throat. "Relatively speaking."

The stallion couldn't take this anymore and blew his top. "WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS ARE YOU?!!!" he shouted, catching their attention. He then summoned his signature paddle, then proceeded to smack everypony in the face with it once each. When it was Fluttershy's turn, he smacked her twice! "I understand that this sort of panicking is probably out of proportion, probably like whatever melodrama Rarity just made, but seriously, you could've done better than just wave her off! Didn't you even wonder what she might do if she lets this obsession continue?!" he emphasized the second-to-last word, alluding to his own…episode.

"Oh…" Rarity then said, "I'm starting to get these…slapping sessions, but I don't get why you hit Fluttershy harder than the rest of us? You usually go easy on her."

He turned to look at the pegasus in question. "Because I expected it least from her. I'm ashamed! Now if you'll excuse me…" He teleported after Twilight, leaving his friends to ponder on what they've done.


C—TS—A—RD—R—F—PP—C—TS—A—RD—R—F—PP

Eyecatch (video-type) - The show's logo is seen on the center of a clock face, which quickly revolves its hands.


C—TS—A—RD—R—F—PP—C—TS—A—RD—R—F—PP

"Tick tock goes the clock"…

After checking her out via Surveillance, it was safe for Chronicle to say that from Twilight Sparkle's unhinged expression, she had gone crazy…just like "all the ponies in this town" as she had said during their first visit to Ponyville.

"Spike!"

"What is it Chronicle?!"

The two of them managed to meet somewhere in the park, the baby dragon just on his way home.

"Quill and scroll, now!"

"Okay!" Spike quickly produced the two items and started to write.

"Princess Celestia, 

Your student Twilight Sparkle is undergoing a mental breakdown due to the weekly deadline for friendship reports. There is only so much one can learn before running out of things to send, and I fear for the worst. With no friendship problem to solve, or even morals/life lessons to learn, I'm afraid she might decide to make a friendship problem to solve. Despite telling her that saving the world twice should be enough to let you forgive a few mistakes, she thought otherwise. WTB?! Pardon my language. As soon as you receive this letter, conclude any royal business you are currently in and come to Ponyville A.S.A.P.. The fate of the town may depend on it. 

Twilight's number one assistant, Spike, and her stalwart bodyguard, Chronicle."

Once the last of it was written, Spike breathed his fire into the letter and it was soon en route to Canterlot. "Okay. Now what?"

"Head to the library and wait for Celestia. I'll do what I can to stop Twilight before the hospital decides to take her to the psycho ward. The letter's a backup plan in case I fail. I'm not infallible, you know."

"Good luck."

With that, Chronicle produced a lock of hair belonging to his charge. It was by chance that he had it. Unfortunately, the pinpointing spell doesn't do DNA matches, so this lock would eventually be useless. He cast the spell, found who he was looking for, and immediately set off.


C—S—C—S—C—S—C—S—C—S—C—S

"X minutes left in the mission"…

In another section of the park, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were playing a simple game of ball. A few bounces later, it came to rest on the grass and exhibited a marked deviation from normal beach ball behavior, swelling out of all proportion and finally bursting. Twilight now stood among the three unnerved fillies, having teleported into the ball.

"Hi, girls!" she greeted, her face like that of a madpony.

"Oh…hi, Twilight," Apple Bloom greeted in return, unaware of the danger she and the others were in. "How’s it go—"

"Great. Just great." Sweat rolled down and her eye twitched as she walked toward them. "You three look like you’re doing great too! Looks like three good friends who obviously don’t need the help of another good friend." At the end of this, she was face to face with Scootaloo, who had scrunched herself into a scared little huddle on the grass. 

Now Twilight straightened up (as the pegasus filly backed off) and levitated a battered old pony-shaped rag doll dressed in polka-dotted shorts, with a yarn mane/tail and button eyes. "This is Smarty Pants." She nuzzled the toy. "She was mine when I was your age." She then floated it to the Crusaders. "And now I want to give her to you!"

The three intended recipients eyed it uneasily. "Uh, she’s, uh…great," said Scootaloo.

"Yeah…great." Bloom.

Sweetie Belle squinted one eye at it. "I really like her…mane?"

"She even comes with her own notebook and quill—" Twilight gave the items to her and Scootaloo. "—for when you want to pretend she’s doing her homework!" She cocked her head to one side as the fillies put away the accessories.

"That’s…um…great." Scootaloo.

"Yeah…great," said Bloom as she gave a fake little chuckle, then both her and the pegasus filly nudged Sweetie, who squinted again.

"I really like her…mane?"

"I just hope the fact that there are three of you and only one of her doesn’t become a problem," Twilight said, the glow from her horn shining weirdly on her face. "I’d hate to cause a rift between such good friends." The end of this line came through gritted teeth. Scootaloo twirled a hoof near her temple in the classic “screw loose” gesture for her friends’ benefit, now the Smarty Pants doll floated to them. "So, who wants to play with her first?" 

All three Crusaders recoiled from it. "Uh…you should play with her first, Sweetie Belle, you know—" Bloom suggested as she galloped off. "—’cause you like her mane so much."

Sweetie was naturally surprised. "No, no, no, no, no, no." She galloped off. "I think Scootaloo should get to play with her first."

"I’d love to, but, um…" Scootaloo turned away, the others only a few feet distant. Sweetie was bulldozing Bloom toward the doll, careful not to poke her. "…you take her, Apple Bloom." 

They began trying to push each other toward Smarty Pants. "Applejack says it’s important to share."

Twilight was now thinking frantically. apparently, it hadn't gone as planned. "I gotta think of something. Think, think, think, think, think, Twilight, think!" She gasped aloud and slapped her front hooves together. "That’s it!" Across the way, the Crusaders were now enthusiastically trying to persuade each other—by sheer brute force—to take one for the team. "Ooh, you’re going to like Smarty Pants. And you’re going to like her more than anything!"

She leaned her head forward, sending streams of hearts from her horn toward the beat-up thing to disappear into it, and let it hit the ground. The Crusaders stopped their fracas and took notice, their rancor instantly replaced by wondering smiles. As each spoke, her eyes rotated as if they were slot-machine reels, the pupils/irises replaced by hearts.

"I want it!" Scootaloo.

"I need it!" Bloom.

"I really like her mane!" Sweetie.

And then the brawl started all over again—but this time they're grabbing madly at the doll instead of trying to keep away from it. 

Twilight straightened up and said, "The Want-It-Need-It spell. Works every time."


TS—AB—S—SB—TS—AB—S—SB—TS—AB—S—SB

"Before the sun sets on her nth birthday"…

"I can't believe she used that spell!" Chronicle swore to himself as he finally located his charge via Surveillance. Extremely dangerous. What was Princess Celestia thinking when she taught her that, assuming she didn't pick it up from a book, or worse her parents! No, I shouldn't be thinking like that.

During his early months as Twilight Sparkle's charge, she had used a pony plushie to distract him once. Considering himself above such cheap tricks, he hadn't so much as turn his head. However, a sound made him turn, and the Want-It-Need-It spell cast on the doll did its work. The results were utterly embarrassing, and she was introduced to his slapping paddle, which told her that he was not one to be messed with, even if she was the Princess's student. And that he will even speak against Celestia if he has to.

Now if he could just remember what spell he could use to render himself invulnerable to sight-related magic apart from blindfolding. He knew he found one such spell during his training stint. And then it came to him. As he continued to move, he cast the spell on himself.


Just as he did that, he saw Big Macintosh bypass him. And in his teeth was the doll Twilight had used on him last time; Smarty Pants. And there were hearts in place of irises. Chronicle stopped in his tracks…right close by to the Mayor, interrupting her plan to relax in a beach chair with a good book. Macintosh and the Crusaders were running in a circle, an angry clamor coming from the latter. 

"What’s all the commotion about?" wondered the mayor. 

It turns out that during the chase, other mares have fallen under Twilight’s spell.

"They’re fighting over that doll!" said the one he recognized as Dizzy Twister as she and more mares raced in.

"That incredible, amazing doll!" cried out Bon Bon.


Within seconds, (both) Chronicle (and Twilight) were watching dozens of ponies slug it out to get at the doll still in Macintosh’s teeth. The unicorn stallion had to stifle a laugh at the scene. If it weren't for the doll, it would look like Macintosh had suddenly became a chick magnet.

The caster of the spell hadn't noticed him and was lunging here and there. "Can’t…get a clear shot!"

The other immune pony meanwhile was formulating a safe idea on acquiring the doll. Teleporting it wasn't an option as he hasn't learned to do that from a distance. Destroying it wasn't a good idea either as not only will it hurt his friendship with Twilight, who knows if the resulting pieces would make things worse? Charging his feet, he prepared to do a 'stunt jump'. So far, Macintosh seemed to be holding the prize out of reach, but eventually the mass of assailants began to drag him down. Just before he disappeared under the mob, the Mayor—now also entranced—leaned in, just as Chronicle made his jump.

"Gimme!"

Uh-oh! The unicorn stallion immediately teleported to prevent himself from hurting the mayor. Who knows what terrible images that could produce? Upon emerging on the ground, he saw her run off from the brouhaha. And then a pony—namely Skyla, another of the victims—collided into him, sending the two of them rolling. As he spun, he managed to see that the plethora of mares had been involuntarily sent airborne, some of them sailing over the horizon. As he teleported out of the roll—and managed to emerge on his feet, he also saw one angry red workhorse.

"Nn-nope," said Macintosh as he charged after the Mayor. Chronicle decided to do the same. In seconds, he was finally able to catch up and was now running side-to-side with her.

Who am I kidding? There's no non-scandalous way out of this. "Sorry, ma'am," he apologized before blasting her in the face with a magic shot. This forced the mayor to let go of the doll, which he caught in his aura, then teleported to another area of the park.

His reprieve didn't last long however when he saw ponies go close in from all directions. What the ████?! Again?! Just like with the ticket fiasco. He began dodging and weaving around the "attackers", not teleporting as it would be too risky. And even if he were to teleport into the air, it would just leave the doll vulnerable to pegasi.

Oh wait! I could just put this doll in hammerspace! But will they resort to drastic measures if I do that? He would never know as he was tackled by Cloud Kicker, who quickly got off of him to continue chasing Smarty Pants, which had fallen off of his arcanokinetic grip and went into the Mayor's mouth again. This is much harder than I thought. Chronicle brushed the dust off of himself, then set off again in attempts to stop this madness.


C—TS—T—M—LH—AS—LH—GH—BB—BM—AB—SS—D—DH—MM—M—DT—CK—LB—MM—S—P—D—R—L—BP—S—SB—S

"Mission ends in XX seconds"…

Back at the picnic, Appplejack was snoozing under a tree with a stalk of wheat in her mouth and her hat tilted over her face. The sound of approaching hoofbeats and voices woke her up as Rainbow continued her sunbathing and Pinkie packed up her basket. The picnic blanket lay folded on the grass among the five ponies.

"Y’all hear that?" the farmpony asked. The other four took notice just before the Mayor barreled straight through the area, followed by the entire stampede, Chronicle zooming right behind them. "What in the name of all things oats-and-apples is goin’ on here?"

As the Mayor sprinted ahead, Wind Whistler swooped down from above to swipe Smarty Pants. Dizzy Twister promptly moved in and grabbed another part of the doll in her teeth, prompting a vicious tug-of-war that ended with it snapping away from both of them. It landed near Rainbow, whose eyes started to roll over into hearts before she got her head turned away and her eyes covered by Twilight.

"Don’t look at it?" she warned. 

Rarity came up behind them. "Don’t look at what?" Her eyes were covered by Twilight and Rainbow hit the ground.

"My Smarty Pants doll." The six friends were now surrounded by land- and air-based hooficuffs under a late-afternoon sky. The old doll tumbled from one to another as Chronicle darted between them in an attempt to grab Smarty Pants. "I enchanted her and now everypony is fighting over her!" 

Fluttershy came up alongside Rarity and asked, "Why would you enchant your doll?" Behind them, Lyra and Bon Bon were in their own 'fight cloud'.

Twilight was now huddled in front of the others. "Well, I had to do something! I had nothing to report to Princess Celestia! I thought if I couldn’t find a problem, I’d make a problem! The day is almost over!"

Applejack looked skyward. "Not almost."

At the horizon, the sun slowly descended out of sight and the sky darkened into evening. Twilight let her head slump down onto the grass, hunkering miserably down as if trying to get the earth to swallow her whole, her friends gathered around her. 

As he continued to try and get the enchanted doll, Chronicle almost expected a voice to say, You've failed!", followed with a chorus of boos. What he got instead was just as startling, however.

"Twilight Sparkle!" he heard Princess Celestia call out sharply. Those two words threw a full-scale scare into the group of six as rays of white light shone down from above and an approaching aura began to wash out the view. The regent was hovering a few yards overhead and looking plenty sore.

"Whoa, Nelly," said Applejack. She removed her hat just before Celestia flared her horn, throwing off an intense light that washed over the knots of brawling ponies. When it fades, they were seen standing and lying in mid-grapple, their eyes back to normal and with no earthly idea of how they wound up here. Chronicle immediately halted upon seeing that the problem has been taken care of. 

Derpy and the Mayor found themselves face to face, the doll landing near them, and all eyed it with considerable surprise and disgust. The Mayor’s face went bright red (this would certainly qualify as conduct unbecoming a public official) and she trotted away, stepping on the plaything so that it emitted a small squeak. The other ponies quickly dispersed to leave it alone on the grass.

Only the stallions remained, both of them eying it from a distance. Macintosh gave a furtive look around, and saw Chronicle, who did the motions for a Pinkie Swear, vowing not to tell a soul. The earth pony straightened up with a giddy little neigh as he picked up Smarty Pants in his teeth, reared up, and galloped away. The unicorn could swear he saw hearts float up around him, even though Twilight’s spell had been neutralized.

With this episode behind him, he made his way back to his friends as the glow of Celestia's spell faded away and she touched down in front of Twilight. The other five cringed, wondering how bad things are about to get, and Applejack had put her hat back on.

"Meet me in the library," Celestia spoke levelly to Twilight before lifting off. 

Twilight slowly got up and spoke softly. "Goodbye, girls. If you care to visit, I’ll be in Magic Kindergarten…" She began to trudge away. "…back in Canterlot."

Fluttershy turned to Rarity. "Magic Kindergarten?"

"Canterlot?" Rainbow.

Pinkie popped up. "We’re never gonna see Twilight again!" She clap her hooves to her face. "And what of Chronicle?"

Applejack gasped softly, sitting next to her. "What are we gonna do, y’all?"

Rarity went into full drama mode. "Of all the worst things that could happen, this is The! Worst! Possible! Thing!" Four puzzled/vexed onlookers surrounded her. "What? I really mean it this time!"

"It damn sure is," said another voice. 


Everypony turned to see Chronicle. Pinkie was the first to speak to him. "Chronicle! If Twilight's headed back to Canterlot, are you too?"

The stallion shook his head. "No. In case I never told you or you forgot, I'm only a freelancer, bodyguarding being my main job. My loyalty isn't to money though—however good the stipend is—but to what is right. Even if I have to do some 'wrong' things so that others don't have to. I can always arrange a new contract to have me stay here and protect the other Keepers of the Elements of Harmony. That means you girls."

He paused to let all of this as well as Twilight's 'farewell' sink in. Once he was sure that was done, he said, "What are we standing here for? What if Princess Celestia actually does what Twilight assumes she's going to do? We're her friends, right?" He then started to run straight for the library…and smiled a bit at seeing the others follow him.


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"Your time's up"…

It took a while, but the group finally reached the library. Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie tumbled in, nearly knocking the front door off its hinges. Rarity and Chronicle trotted in past them, but Rainbow flew over them and was first into the reading room. Twilight seemed to have cleaned herself up.

"Wait!" cried out the pegasus. 

Pinkie zipped in. "You can’t punish her!" 

Applejack ditto. "It wasn’t her fault!"

"I’m listening," Celestia replied. 

Now Fluttershy sat by her. "Please, Your Highness. We all saw that Twilight was upset."

"But we thought that the thing that she was worrying about wasn’t worth worrying about," Rainbow said as Pinkie nuzzled Twilight’s neck.

"So when she ran off all worked up, not a single one of us tried to stop her." Applejack. "We're all ashamed that Chronicle was the only one to even try."

"As Twilight’s good friends, we should have taken her feelings seriously and been there for her." Rarity.

"That's right, girls. You should've." Chronicle. Ugh. Being the only sane one has its disadvantages, and even I went crazy once. 

Celestia cocked an eyebrow quizzically at this string of pleadings.

"Please don’t take her away from us just because we were too insensitive to help her." Fluttershy.

And I'll double the smacking if they ever do it again.

The winged unicorn turned this over in her mind for a second, then smiled placidly. "Looks like you all learned a pretty valuable lesson today." 

"Mmm-hmm!" agreed everypony, the stallion's sounding disgruntled.

Celestia's shadow fell over her student as she gave a smile. "Very well. I’ll forget Twilight’s punishment on one condition." She bounded over the entire group toward the door. She then looked back over her shoulder to the sound of enthusiastic responses from the mares. "From this day forth, I would like you all to report to me your findings on the magic of friendship—" She leaned down close to her star pupil. "—when, and only when, you happen to discover them." She backed off, bringing a grateful smile to Twilight’s face as the others cheered this decision. The smile soon gave way to puzzlement as the Princess prepared to depart.

"Princess Celestia, wait! How did you know I was in trouble?" Twilight called as she galloped out to her.

"Your friends Spike and Chronicle made me aware that you were letting your fears get the best of you." Said dragon was peeking out the open doorway, then ducked back in. The stallion in question was walking over to them. "I commend them for taking your feelings seriously." 

"That's what friends are supposed to be for," he said as the the others stepped up. "Also, Twilight, you should know by now that sweating over small problems just makes bigger problems, given the…welcome parade and Philomena incidents." 'Parasprite' was a forbidden word to mention when both Princess and student are present.

"Now…if you will all excuse me, I must return to Canterlot. I’m expecting some mail." She lifted off and flew a short distance through the night sky before disappearing with a flash. After Twilight watched her exit, she walked back in to the rest of the gang inside the door.

"Y’all heard the Princess," Applejack said. "Spike, take a letter."

He instantly produced a quill and scroll. Before anyone can start though, a violet foreleg landed on his shoulders and Twilight pulled him in for a warm hug. She did the same for her bodyguard, who returned her smile.


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"A last-minute reminder"…

The group was now in the reading room. Spike was at a stand, ready to write, and the others stood/sat/lay around the place. Rarity was seated on a cushion, and Applejack—holding her hat—cleared her throat and started to dictate.

“Dear Princess Celestia: We’re writin’ to you because today we all learned a little somethin’ about friendship.”

Fluttershy was next. “We learned that you should take your friends’ worries seriously—” 

Rainbow. “—even if you don’t think that she has anything to worry about—”

Rarity. “—and that you shouldn’t let your worries turn a small problem—” 

Pinkie. “—into an enormously huge, entire-town-in-total-chaos, Princess-has-to-come-and-save-the-day problem.” She punctuated her bit of this report by jumping up, striking a dramatic flying pose while hanging in midair, and thumping back to the floor. 

Applejack at this point replaced her hat. “Signed, your loyal subjects.” She then backed off.

Spike began to write his own section quickly. “P.S. Obviously Spike did not have to learn a lesson because he is the best, most awesome friend a pony could ask for. Unlike everypony else (save Chronicle), he took things seriously and—”

Twilight walked up to the stand on the end of this to give him a thoroughly disapproving look and head shake, followed by more of the same from the others.

Spike gave a nervous laughing. "Uh…yeah." He drew a large X over the last several lines. "I’ll just, um…" He grumpily snorted out a puff of steam as the six mares laughed. 

The stallion however decided to speak up. "Here's another lesson. Enjoy the times when you haven't any trouble. Because for one whose life is filled with adventure, an uneventful day is a good day." He turned to face his friends. "I think I understand why Twilight had this breakdown. You see, she was having post-traumatic stress disorder, and I pretty much think we all had/have that after Discord. Given that and the fact that it was these friendship reports that saved her, of course she's going to value order and her lessons afterward!" So far, out of all of us, regrettably including myself, only Rarity hasn't suffered a breakdown. The drama queen thing must be how she copes.

He paused yet again to let this sink in, then gave a smirk as he looked between two friends he would take more seriously than the others. "Twilight, just for the record, Fluttershy didn't snap that bear's neck. She was just doing chiropractic therapy. That was why I didn't go out of my way to defend her."

"Seriously?!" asked his charge as she turned to look at the pegasus in question, who nodded.

Why do I get the feeling that 'stupidity' is lingering? I'll have to be diligent in keeping my own sanity for their sakes. I will not go insane again. For their sake.


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