There she stood, Princess Celestia, in the doorframe leading into this dark and empty place, Discord's laughing faintly heard.
“So this is Discord's laughter? It doesn't sound as crazy as Kefka…” Princess Celestia said, before finally noticing me. Had I been able to think rationally at the time, I may have found her remark unusual… as well as what she said next.
“Oh, hello pink pony,” the white alicorn princess said, looking at me as I lay huddled in the corner.
“Princess Celestia?” I asked. Another thing that, had I been more sane at the time, I’d have been confused by her behavior… was she here to help me?
No, she’s not real… a voice in my head said.
“No! No! You're not here! Nothing is! I.... I...” I muttered as I looked down at myself, shaking. “Madness... makes sense because nothing makes sense... even if I want to leave he won't let me leave, I'll never leave even if I do leave....” That was all I had… madness… madness and chaos… nothing could save me, not in this empty black void I’d been confined to…
Celestia was mumbling something to herself, something I couldn’t hear but she seemed to be annoyed by something before she returned her attention to me, her expression softer now, but with hesitation in her step. “Do not be afraid… my little pony. I am as real as you are.”
I wanted her to be real, I wanted it so badly, but what if this was another hope spot Discord planted in front of me so he could yank my chain again? No, I can’t let that happen to me again! I can’t let anything hurt me in here! I could already feel hot tears forming in my eyes again as I struggled to speak. “H-how do I... know that? So was the doctor! So was... she... my wife... so was everything Discord wanted me to think was real! He held it out in front of me so he could rip it all away!” I cried, my whole body shaking all over as I remembered all the torment I’d gone through ever since this started.
Celestia frowned, mumbling something again, this time I could faintly hear, something about “Q” before turning her attention to me again. “Well…” she explained. “Technically I'm not really here considering that we are in your mind.”
“Then if you're not here, and I'm not here, where am I? Where are we?” I pleaded. “Ever since this started happening, ever since I ended up like this...” I shook my head back and forth, trying to think clearly for the first time in a while “...nothing's made sense anymore, I can't... see things clearly anymore... what's real, what's not...” I looked up at the princess of the sun, filled with uncertainty and fear. “You... look like my… CADANCE'S... aunt Celestia... she adopted her... raised her! But… but maybe you're not...”
Celestia looked down at me, visibly saddened. “I'm sorry...” she said softly, and she slowly began to approach me again. “So, your name is Cadance?”
Not that name! No, not again! That wasn’t me! It wasn’t me! …Was it?
“NO! It's not!” I screamed instinctively. “I'm not Cadance I'm.... Cadance...” I said, my mind drawing a blank otherwise. “…Can't remember... I can only remember Cadance...”
“Then Cadance must be your pony name,” Celestia replied.
I lowered my head in defeat “...It's the only name I can remember now... the other... who I was... I barely feel like I was him but I don't want to forget! It's who I was! I want to go back, my life was just being fixed! Isn't there anything that can change this?!” I asked, my voice trembling again. This wasn’t what I was supposed to be. I’m a human, not a pony! But yet… that human part of me just felt like it was drifting away from me somehow, no matter how hard I tried to hold onto it. What was holding me back so badly? My mind was spinning, making endless twists, turns and forks like a sinister labyrinth guarding the answer that’d make everything alright again.
I heard Celestia approach me again, as she spoke, proposing a single question that froze me in place. “Why would being one prevent you from being the other?”
I sat there for a second before finding the words. “I... don't know... I'm scared... of this being what I'm supposed to be... because I don't know what to do anymore... or how to be... this!” I said. Was that it? Was I scared of the truth, of how drastically and frighteningly different it’d make my life to be Princess Cadance, and all it entailed? Differences I didn’t ask for, and didn’t want, but existed regardless? Raising my slender, feminine pink hoof I silently looked at it and Celestia once more approached, closing the distance between us little by little.
“You aren't alone,” she said gently. “Everypony is looking up to me for help, but I barely remember who I am, or know what to do. But I have my sister at my side to help me.”
Wait… what? My eyes widened in horror. I suddenly remembered that if the events of the show were connected to what happened here, Celestia was thought to be dead! If she was alive, and here, on Earth, then did that mean…? “H-he got you too?” I asked, staring agape at her. Did that mean Discord had…
The horrible memories returned, Discord’s chant that had started it all replayed over and over in my mind.“The dreams... the same words, over and over! Five score, divided by four... five score, divided by four...” I ranted.
“What else do you remember?” she asked.
“I... NO!” I cried out, denial instinctively making me separate who I once was from who I looked like. “Cadance! She... Discord attacked the Crystal Empire, she knew Celestia was gone... the six beaten... Shining...” The mention of Cadance’s former husband suddenly made my heart ache, I squeezed my eyes shut to hold back any new tears. “All gone!” I cried.
“The six?” Celestia asked, before realization came in. “You mean the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony? Do you know what he...” she paused, recalling what I’d said. “…dealt with them? What happened to Twilight?!”
“N-no... I don't know.” I replied, trying to remember the events despite how much they frightened me. “But I… I mean she... Cadance... she knew Discord had already done away with them...”
“In the same way as us?” Celestia asked.
“I don't know! I don't know!” I responded, shaking, trying to blot out the memory now, but in my efforts to find answers from it, I’d let it haunt me again. “Maybe? He said he wouldn't be as easy on me as he was then! That... a happy ending won't cross my mind again...”
I heard hoofsteps, and looked up. Celestia now stood right before me, looking down at me with gentle compassion. “He isn't here. You can fight his influence. Be free of this... nightmare,” she said.
At that moment, my emotions built up to their peak, and tears I’d been holding back flowed freely. “Aunt Celestia…” I said, throwing my forehooves around her leg and burying my face into it, sobbing hysterically for a few moments. “Please be real... help me... he won't leave me alone...” I said in between rapid breaths as I tried to get myself under control. I felt the taller alicorn gently place her other foreleg around me, and hold me in a tender embrace.
“I'm real and here to help you Cadance,” she said, and moments later, I began to calm down, though my body was still shivering all over.
“How do I get out of here?” I asked, finally looking up at her.
“I'm not an expert, but it is most likely dealing with the cause of all this,” Celestia replied. I wasn’t sure, if she meant my own emotional breakdown, or Discord. Was he truly here? Was I imagining him? I needed to know.
“Discord? I-is he behind this? Am I... not actually crazy?” I asked. The moment the words left my mouth, I heard a familiar, cruel laugh echo all around me. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something appear in the corner and turned. There, drifting nearby in a floating sofa eating popcorn while wearing 3D glasses, was Discord himself; or what I thought to be him.
“Well, that... dear little pony princess... is entirely debatable!” the draconequus sneered, snapping his claw and the sofa, popcorn, and glasses promptly vanished. “Poor little delusional Cadance... now you've conceived these little hope spots that somepony else is here to save you!” he said with a laugh. “Oh what new lows your mind has stooped to!”
Celestia growled in disgust at the misshapen chaos god. “Why should she listen to you? You aren't even the real thing,” she said. I watched in confusion and fear, not sure who to believe now. Was all of this just my mind playing tricks on me? Was one real and the other wasn’t? I felt my fear grow again, worrying that I’d once again been fooled.
“And that makes us different how exactly?” Discord asked, before turning and grinning down at me. “That's adorable, Cadance! First you imagine me, now Celestia! You really are insane!”
No, it couldn’t be true, could it? I HAD been deceived again! My own mind, so desperate for escape from this horrible nightmare and again I took the bait! A horrible chill went down my back, and I began to back away from both of them. “No... please, no! Leave me alone, please!” I begged, collapsing on my haunches and slowly cowering down. The draconequus hovered in the air then began to glide around me, laughing at my suffering.
“Nothing but an insane stranger to her own body, misplaced in a world she doesn't belong in... truly a poem in and of yourself, Cadance!” he taunted in an almost sing-song voice and his mocking laughter began to echo all around me and even inside my head, causing me to curl up as best I could into a ball, my voice unable to go anywhere above a soft, trembling whimper.
“…Help… me…” I pleaded, feeling despair as Celestia seemed to be trying to decide what to do now, or how to go about it. Discord stopped in place and looked at her, grinning.
“Oh? You think you can save your niece, Celestia? Cadance is too scared to fight me now!” the chaos god asked, vanishing then reappearing beside her, patting her shoulder as they looked at me. The two of them spoke but I was too broken now to bother trying to overhear them, I buried my muzzle in my forehooves, trying to drown out his cruel, condescending voice. Suddenly, however, Celestia spoke to me again.
“Don't listen to him,” she ordered. “Of all po... beings, do you really think that his words can be trusted?”
Celestia was still there, she still believed in me? Still defended me? I opened my eyes and looked up at her, but Discord immediately stepped forward, standing directly over me now with his arms folded, a cruel sneer on his goatlike face.
“Of course you can't trust me, but who CAN you trust anymore? As I recall the woman you loved, who you trusted enough to marry... correct me on this... ABANDONED YOU!” the chaos god said. “I may not be trustworthy, but chaos and insanity have been the closest thing to solace you had!”
“I.... I don't... she....” I muttered helplessly, unable to argue with him but desperately trying to.
“Let me refresh your memory...” Discord replied with a grin, raising up his eagle claw and with a snap and a flash of light, Angela, my ex-wife was standing there in his place, looking down at me in disapproval. The mere sight of her was a horrible, painful memory.
“And you know what the crazy part is? I used to think I was the luckiest girl in the world to fall in love with the guy who makes love happen for others. Who knew he’d blow it completely when he found love?” she asked; the same words she’d said when she walked out on me that fateful evening.
“That's funny,” Celestia said, suddenly and defiantly. “I've yet to see a relation end that was entirely the fault of only one of the member of the couple,” she then looked over at me. “ Have you?”
“W-what do you mean?” I protested, raising my head up. “It was my fault! I... I failed!”
“That's right.” Angela said coldly. “She doesn't know what she's talking about. She wasn't there to see our marriage suffer and die! Because that's what you made it do!”
For a moment, Celestia was quiet, my eyes remained glued on the visage of Angela like a deer in headlights. “Tell me then, who is responsible for Nightmare Moon existing?” The other alicorn suddenly asked me.
“...Luna?” I asked. “She was jealous of you.” Even when I was mentally unstable I could remember that. Luna had grown envious of her sister, because ponies functioned in the daytime and slept at night, and some dark forces persuaded her to think that her sister was favored over her.
“But is it her fault alone?” Celestia asked.
Angela suddenly looked frustrated, and turned towards Celestia for a moment. “Stay out of this!” she hissed angrily.
“She had no right to be jealous! You loved her!” I protested, trying to ignore the image of my ex-wife standing before me.
“But I was too busy 'bathing in praises' to notice that she was suffering,” Celestia said, suddenly shedding a tear. “I wasn't there when she needed me the most. I remember that too clearly.”
“Now who does that remind me of?” Angela asked, looking back at me with hatred in her eyes. “Someone who spent the last months of our marriage inattentive to my needs and my expectations of you?”
“I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry!” I pleaded, trying to back away and gritting my teeth as I cried out my apologies.
Angela looked at me with a frosty glare. “It's too late to be sorry, or to change anything!” she said lividly.
Too late! Too late! Too late! Too late! Too late! Too late! The voices rang in my head.
NO!
Realization came over me, grief suddenly began to fade as I looked at Celestia. Despite what Celestia had to do to Luna when she became Nightmare Moon, despite the heartache it caused her for a millenia from a horrible loss she felt responsible for; despite other mistakes she may have made along the way like letting Sunset Shimmer's ambitions fester into selfish obsession, she still moved forward and did all she could to be the best she could be. Cadance loved and admired Celestia, who had given her so much and helped shape her into the capable, responsible ruler of the Crystal Empire she eventually grew into... and now, seeing her here, and me feeling closer to her now, I felt new resolve in my heart begin to build. We faced darker moments in our lives, times we even lose someone we cared for, or even loved deeply, but we had to move on, for ourselves and everyone else we had, and I realized that now.
“...No... it's not too late!” I said to the facade of my ex-wife, brushing tears out of my eyes with my hoof. “Maybe for that part of my life, but not for the rest!” I looked over at Celestia, determination in my voice. “Aunt Celestia... even before you got Luna back you still did so much for Equestria! And... for me...”
I stood up, and approached, walking through Angela as though she were no more then a ghost. The image of her turned and stared at me in disbelief as I came over to Celestia. “You might not remember me, but I remember the story about this pony. You adopted her as your niece, and she helped save an empire...”
“You're forgetting something...” ‘Angela’ said, her voice now sounding like hers and Discord’s speaking in unison. “That was then, this is now,” she sneered.
“Don't listen to him,” Celestia said assuringly. “We'll need everypony's help if we are to restore what was lost. Especially your help.” She told me, nuzzling me comfortingly.
The warm gesture of almost maternal affection gave me a further boost of resolve as I sat down before her, looking down at my forehooves as I raised them up. “What was lost...” I muttered, my eyes widening in realization as I looked down at myself, and ran my forehooves through my long, silky mane. “I... This is me now... he... he was the last chapter of my life... this... a new chapter...” I couldn’t hold it in anymore, and I promptly threw my forehooves around her, the pony whom long ago I came to know of as… “Aunt Celestia!” I hugged her tight, new tears forming, but no longer tears of despair but tears of joy unlike anything I’ve felt in such a long time.
Behind me, I heard ‘Angela’ growl angrily and I turned as she suddenly vanished, replaced by a furious-looking Discord. “Stop it! Stop it!” the draconequus protested indignantly. “You can't be SERIOUS?! You're gonna just run away from your past? Could you BE more of a coward, Cadance?!” He lunged forward, swiping his claw at me in a fit of rage, but instead of striking me, it phased through me harmlessly. The chaos god stared at his claw for a moment, then at me in confusion.
“I'm not going to lie, it won't be easy,” Celestia told me, standing beside me. “But you won't be alone. Not anymore.”
My aunt’s words brought a smile to my face as I turned and looked towards the door to this dark place, which now contained a hallway of pristine white. I knew what was left to do now, and I turned and looked at the draconequus. “I'm NOT a coward, Discord! I can't change the past and she's right, it won't be easy to move on, but I won't be alone!” I said, walking towards the door. “I, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, was strong once, I can be again.”
Discord hovered in place, his eyes widening in curiosity and fear. “Wait, where are you going?! You can't leave!” he protested, and Celestia leaned in front of him, an amused look on her face.
“You have lost, again. She managed to free herself and there is nothing you can do about it,” she said, before turning and joining me at the doorframe and leaving him alone in the blackened room.
“Regardless of what happened in the past, I do have things to live for, and things I can still rebuild. I realize that now. And not even you can take that from me,” I said, using my magic on the door and starting to close it.
“NO!” Discord cried out, a look of absolute and genuine panick on his face as he frantically flew towards us. “NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!” he screamed, the door slamming shut right before he could reach it and trapping him within that same dark emptiness he'd intended for me. Immediately after, the door shrank and receded away, Discord’s desperate screaming and pounding fading along with it and leaving me and Celestia to ourselves in the white hallway.
“I think I'm ready to wake up... and see you.” I said, looking up at her and feeling much better.
“I'll wait for you back in reality… see you right away,” she said, smiling warmly before turning to leave, but then paused as if suddenly remembering something. “Before I forget, you also have a visitor,” she said. And then, in a brilliant flash of light, the nightmare ended, and finally free, I was able to wake up, wondering who or what my aunt had brought with her...