//------------------------------//
// Bad Day 
// Story: Finding Her Place 
// by 97xxfastbike 
//------------------------------//

	Ditzy Doo couldn’t believe what she had just done. It was an accident. They had to know it was an accident. After all, what pony would intentionally drop three bowls of hot soup on a colt just big enough to be at a table without a booster? But there was a fierce anger in the eyes of his parents, and her apologies meant nothing to the scalded colt whose pain-filled screams split the air in the restaurant and tortured her soul. 
From behind her a voice urgently whispered. “Pick up those bowls and get into the kitchen!” It was Lilac, another waitress, who had quickly come with clean towels and cold water. She shoved Ditzy aside and began to help the distraught mother clean and care for her colt. 
Ditzy fell to the floor and began gathering the broken bowls, dropped silverware and soiled napkins. With her fore hooves full, she stood and… stared into the angry eyes of the colt’s sire. “What kind of animal are you?!” he hissed. “Your incompetent bumbling has burned my son!” His right hoof hooked around her left forelimb and squeezed her painfully. No matter how badly it hurt her, Ditzy knew better than to cry out to an enraged stallion. So she shut her eyes and grit her teeth against the pain as he half-dragged half-led her to the restaurant’s kitchen. 
“Are you the manager!” she heard the colt’s sire angrily demand as he roughly pulled her up next to him. 
Ditzy was too scared to open her eyes to see whom he might be addressing, but Salutation’s even toned professional voice was unmistakable. 
“Yes, I am the manager, and I want you to know that an ambulance is on its way for you and your family.”  Ditzy winced at hearing ‘ambulance’. That meant doctors, and hospitals, and lots of bills. 
“Good!” The stallion said, though clearly not pleased. He shoved her forward and released her throbbing forelimb. Ditzy stumbled forward two steps, and sensed, but refused to look at the pony in front of her. “Now what are you going to do with this despicable, retarded, blonde-maned…”
“There is no need for that language, sir.” Salutation interrupted the stallion, his voice polite but firm. “I will make the reparations necessary for this unfortunate accident.”  Ditzy wanted to curl up and disappear. Again, Salutation was going to have to pay for one of her mistakes, and this one was going to be expensive.
“You’re damn right you will!” The stallion’s voice was louder now, and losing control. “You will pay for everything! And then you will hear from my attorney about a lawsuit for gross negligence for allowing this…” Ditzy felt a hoof roughly grab her mane and shake her head. “…Visually-impaired mental-defective to handle scalding liquids around foals!” 
“Then I will be forced to counter-sue on behalf of my employee for your vicious physical and emotional assault against her and for slander.” Salutation said, professional and firm. Ditzy’s eyes went wide in shock. Had she really just heard Sal defend her to a customer when she was wrong? The stallion just as quickly released her. Her eyes still wide open, she looked up. Salutation had his gaze fixed on the enraged customer behind her. 
“Ditzy, go throw that in the trash and wait for me in my office.” He said to her while keeping his eyes fixed on the incensed patron.  
She nodded to Salutation and without thinking she turned her head to the colt’s sire like she needed his forgiveness or dismissal. He scowled at her. “Get away from me you foal-burning wall-eyed bitch!” 
Ditzy tucked her chin into her chest and scurried off to unload her forelimbs of the broken dishes and soup-soaked napkins. But she couldn’t dump the angry insults that resonated in her head. Nor could she throw away the cries of the scalded colt that still could be heard throughout the restaurant. Her breathing became uneven and tears began to blur her vision, forcing her to wipe them away again and again. It was so unfair! She already couldn’t see well, and now she had to deal with tears. The thought caused her body to convulse. NO! She mentally screamed. She couldn’t start to cry now! She wiped her eyes and blinked rapidly. That allowed her to see straight and clear for a little bit. There, she saw the door she wanted. She bolted for the manager’s office… and knocked over a shelf full of pots and pans. The thunder of the metal cookware clattering on the floor did little to conceal her frustrated scream. Finally reaching the office door, she threw it open, stumbled inside, and pulled it closed. Could this day possibly get any worse? No sooner had the thought crossed her mind, than the obvious answer popped, unwanted, into her head.  
Yes. It can and will get worse. There is no way you can continue to work here.  
Ditzy sunk to the floor, buried her muzzle into her fore hooves, and wished that she could die. 

For over an hour she lied on the floor of Sal’s office until a gentle knocking caused her to flinch like she had been physically struck. 
It was time. 
She picked herself up from the floor, turned around and plopped onto her haunch with all the enthusiasm of the condemned responding to their executioner’s summons. “Come in.” She sighed, still staring at the floor.
Salutation quietly entered and closed the door behind him like he was trying to keep from waking a sleeping child. “Thank you, Sal,” Ditzy said, using his knickname, “for sticking up for me in front of that customer.”
“He was wrong to handle you that way. Nopony deserves that treatment.” Sal said with conviction. “And he had no reason to be so insulting.”
“I spilled all that hot soup on his poor colt.” Ditzy said like she was confessing to a crime. “And he looked at me like I had done it on purpose.” 
She covered her face with her hooves like that action could block the memory from returning. “He was so small. The soup completely covered him! And the steam! It was so hot, it looked like he was smoking!”  She shook as she vividly recalled the horrible details of the accident. “Then he screamed. He was in so much pain, he couldn’t move, but, he could scream. He just kept… screaming!” She had her hooves pressed over her ears now. Trying desperately to silence the cries that she knew would haunt her dreams.  Sal hadn’t moved or said anything.  She knew she would hear Sal if he spoke, but he hadn’t moved or said anything.  
The lack of a response tormented her. Did Sal’s silence mean he really agreed with how she had been treated?  Her doubts allowed the insults the customer said to her to come back and echo in her head. Most of those hurtful words had multiple voices. She had heard them before. Many times before. 
“I’m sorry.” Ditzy finally said when the silence became unbearable. “I’m so very, very sorry!” Somehow, her voice didn’t crack.
“I know.”
More silence. Ditzy picked her eyes off the floor and looked up at Sal’s tired, worn expression. “I… I really do like working here, an’ there are customers here who really do like me, an’ I… I always try my best…” Ditzy wished she could have thought of something, anything, better to say in her defense, but at least she had thought of three reasons. And that’s what everypony needed, right. Didn’t everypony always say: ‘Give me three reasons why?’ Her eyes darted around his face searching for hope.
“I know you do.” Sal answered and sat on his haunch in front of her, meeting her eyes. “But you know I can’t have you be a waitress anymore.” He said with a slow shake of his head.
Against her will, a sob escaped. She bit her lip to stop it from going any further. She didn’t want to cry. It wasn’t fair to him, and Sal had always been fair with her. She would not cry. She wouldn’t. “But I… I don’t make enough as a hostess.”
“I’m sorry.” Polite but firm.
Another unwanted sob spasmed through her. She grit her teeth against the mounting pressure. She wasn’t a filly anymore. She was a mare, and she would do this without crying. “So, are Daybreak an’ I going to switch jobs?”
Sal breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly. “Daybreak is still in school. She isn’t old enough to be a waitress.”
He had spoken gently, but that didn’t soften realization’s hammer-like blow that crushed her last hope. “I see. Then…” Ditzy felt hot tears spill out and roll down her cheeks. Not trusting her voice, she steadied her breathing before finishing her question. “…Can you pay me for the rest of the day?”

Ditzy collected her few belongings and walked out of the break room. Daybreak and Lilac were waiting for her. “Ditzy, we…” Lilac stopped and looked around like she was suddenly lost. Daybreak said nothing, but just pushed in for a hug. 
“I’ll be okay,” Ditzy said as she returned Daybreak’s embrace. Then she looked at Lilac. “Thank you, for everything you did for me. I wish I could pay you back for all the times you had to clean up my mistakes.”
“Hey, you’d do the same for me, right?” Lilac said dismissively, trying to be friendly and casual. She achieved awkward and uncomfortable.
“Yeah, of course I would.” Ditzy smiled, but inside she wilted. Lilac couldn’t know how deep what she had just said had cut her. Lilac had never made a mistake. Ditzy had never cleaned up after anypony else.  Ever. And there lay the wound. She had always been the one who made the messes. She had never been the one to pick up sompony else’s pieces.
“Well, goodbye.” Lilac turned and left. No sense in dragging it out. After all, they still had work to do.
“Good luck, Ditzy.” Daybreak sniffed and followed Lilac
“’Bye.”
Ditzy ignored the satisfied stares the cooks gave her as she walked to the backdoor, but she wasn’t deaf. She couldn’t ignore their cheering when it closed behind her. She sucked in a breath of unseasonably cold air and tried to swallow the painful lump in her throat. Failing, she chortled in the gulf between laughing and crying. “Well, I made some ponies very happy today when I left.” She sarcastically said as she spread her wings and launched into the frigid Manehattan sky. A half-dozen wing flaps later, her vision blurred, forcing her to blink more bothersome tears away. “I just wish…” She said as she felt the sting of her tears freezing on her cheeks.  “…that I could make somepony that happy when they see me arrive.” 

Ditzy set her overloaded saddlebags outside of her apartment. It was the end of the month, and without a job now, she couldn't afford to pay for next month's rent. She made one more walk-around to be certain she hadn’t forgotten anything. Her calendar seemed to scream at her from the now empty room. She snatched it off the nail in the wall with her teeth and tucked it under her bedroll. With a sigh she looked back at the tiny place she called home for the past ten months. She never could afford furniture, but now that seemed a like minor blessing. She didn’t have to sell, return, or ship anything. She was leaving just like she had arrived, with only the pack on her back. “Goodbye,” she told the empty room. “It was fun while it lasted.” And she closed the door.  
As she negotiated carrying her heavy pack down the flights of stairs to the lobby, a thought returned and began taunting her. 
Leaving just like she had arrived…  Leaving just like she had arrived… 
It made her tear up again. It spoke of her failure. She didn’t want to go back. Back to living with her mother in Fillydelphia. Back to her mother’s insults and her questionable employment. Back to her mother’s ‘guests’ who either laughed or leered at her. Back to the horrid smells and those terrible sounds that came through the walls at night.  Back to the drinking, the shouting, and the fighting. 
But did she have a choice?  
Somepony told her she always had a choice. Abacus. Her one real friend through it all. A true, true friend. He had helped her earn her diploma and convinced her to ignore her mother and go to Manehattan after she had graduated. He was here now too. Maybe he could use a roommate until she could find another job?  
Ditzy allowed herself to smile. This was going to work! She would go to the rental office to see her landlady and get back the security deposit on her room and use those bits to… 
She tripped on the top step of the last set of stairs. Overloaded as she was, she couldn’t get her legs under her fast enough, she was falling! Instinctively her wings popped out and beat at the air to right herself. Her muzzle grazed the peak of a step midway down. Then a fore hoof found purchase and she pushed. The stairs raced past her face but, she cleared them! She wasn’t going to fall! Smiling, tucked her legs up and brought them forward as her head came up and…
BOOM!
Ditzy collided with the security door at the landing.
Only for a moment did she see stars, then she thought she was falling. But how could she? She was on her belly with her legs splayed about her. But then why did it seem like...
A scraping noise followed by a metallic groan answered her unspoken question. 
Oh no!  Ditzy watched in horror as the doors fell away from her and slammed on the floor of the lobby with a crash, revealing some astonished ponies gawking back at her. 
Ditzy got to her hooves and blinked several times. Her double vision was especially bad after that impact. Having no luck, she violently shook her head. Success! Now she could clearly see… Mrs. Nagneigh, her landlady, and she didn’t look happy.
Mrs. Nagneigh stormed right up to her and growled. “Ditzy, Come to my office this instant!”

Dejected, Ditzy sat in front of Mrs. Nagneigh’s desk, feeling quite like she was a student in the principal’s office for a serious rule infraction. Mrs. Nagneigh muttered to herself as she shuffled papers and added up expenses. This was taking far too long, and Ditzy was beginning to lose her newfound hope. Finally she heard a frustrated sigh and Mrs. Nagneigh looked up.  
“I have calculated all the expenses I have incurred because of you, Miss Doo.” Mrs. Nagneigh announced bitterly. “Unfortunately, I cannot bill you for the doors you just broke.” Mrs. Nagneigh scowled at her. Ditzy, ashamed, looked away. “Nor am I allowed to bill you for the time that I wasted repairing your frequent ‘accidents’!” 
Ditzy dropped her eyes to the floor. She was almost too scared to ask. “How many bits do I get back?”
“ZERO.”
“What! Zero?!” Ditzy exclaimed with equal parts shock and horror. “But, but I gave you...”
“Only two hundred, yes I know!” Mrs. Nagneigh interrupted her. She handed Ditzy three bills. “Over the ten months you’ve been here, you’ve somehow managed to brake three keys off in the locks of the security doors. That cost me three replacement keys and three service calls by a locksmith to remove the broken keys.”
Ditzy squinted at the papers given to her, trying to read as fast as she could. “But, the locks on those doors were sticky. Everypony had problems with those locks.” She protested.
“But, somehow, you were the only pony who went and broke her keys trying to open them!” She loudly retorted. Then she handed her another bill. “And then there was the planter you crashed in. I had to buy all new plants to replace the ones you destroyed.”
“But, I didn’t kill every plant in that planter!” Ditzy exclaimed incredulously, as she scanned the itemized bill. “You can’t charge me for every new plant!” 
“If I didn’t replace them all, that planter would look as uneven as your stare, Miss Doo, and I refuse to have my planters look as stupid as you!”  
Ditzy wilted in the face of her insult. “Is that everything?”
“No,” Mrs. Nagneigh replied smugly. “You are forgetting the spa you broke your first week here.” 
“I didn’t break that!” Ditzy replied indignantly. “I followed all the instructions that were posted!” 
“But somehow,” Mrs. Nagneigh continued, “While you were still in the tub, the pump burned-out and the water heater caught fire, and you didn’t notice anything!”
“I… I just don’t know what went wrong.” Ditzy said in a small voice.
“You just don’t know what went wrong?” Mrs. Nagneigh snorted. “Well, I do know what went wrong, and once you leave, I know what will go right!” She stood up. “Good. Bye. Miss. Doo.”
Ditzy stood up hanging her head and turned for the door. 
“Miss Doo, Wait!” Mrs. Nagneigh suddenly sounded concerned.
Ditzy stopped and turned to see Mrs Nagneigh rushing toward her. Had her landlady a change of heart? The glimmer of hope brightened her eyes.
Mrs. Nagneigh came right up to her again with a worried look. “Let me get the door for you, I don’t want you breaking this one on your way out.” She said as her expression morphed to a nasty smile. With mock politeness, she held open the door.
Swallow the pain, Ditzy. She told herself sternly. Don’t give her the satisfaction of seeing you cry. 
She thrust her head up and started walking. She didn’t even flinch when she heard the office door slam behind her. Neither did she shed a single tear when she heard Mrs. Nagneigh laugh and shout “Hooray! The stupid bitch is leaving!”  She walked calmly through the lobby with her head high until she was through the building’s doors and outside in the cold air again. 
“Good for you, Ditzy.” She now verbally rewarded herself. “You are a big filly now.” 
It was too late in the day now for her to go to Fillydelphia. She could either rent a room at a hotel, or she could go to Abacus’s apartment and see if he could let her stay for at least a night.  There was a cheap motel just down the street. But Ditzy didn’t want to go there. It reminded her of Fillydelphia. However, she hated to just show up at Abacus’s place. He might have his fillyfriend over. She shivered. It was getting terribly cold! Her vision blurred again. She wiped her eyes with her fetlock and sniffed. More than anything else right now, she needed a friend. Her mind made up, she spread her wings and leapt into the air.