//------------------------------// // Regret (complete chapter) // Story: Then We'll Run // by maxxxxxx //------------------------------// It had been an uneasy sleep for Twilight. The nightmares kept repeating in her sleep, forcing her awake each time. The sun had only risen an hour ago but it found her already wide awake, standing over her desk with a quill and an ink well in front of her. She stared at the blank parchment. Okay, the pros and cons of being with Rainbow Dash. She began her thought. Levitating the quill, she began shakily writing her thoughts a they came to her. Okay, cons. She's a mare. She is one of my best friends. I don't know if I feel the same way... Her thoughts trailed off as visions of her dream came to mind. She thought of how happy she was to see her in her dream, and then how lost she felt as she faded away. She shook her head vigorously, regaining her focus. She is brash and prone to impulse. What if this is just a phase for her? What if she decides one day that it was all a mistake? She couldn’t place why but that thought depressed her. Alright, now pros. She is the element of loyalty, I know Dash can be impulsive but she would never abandon her friends. would that be true for a.. Her face heated up, she was blushing as the word made its way to her fore-mind. A lover? She felt a pleasant warmth spread over her body. Her wings twitching excitedly and a content smile made its way across her face. Dash has always been there for me, to catch me when I fall and pick me up when I'm down. I never really thought about it but I guess I really look up to her. Oh what am I even doing!? After the way I treated her, even if I wanted to give her a chance she probably hates me now. Her brief happiness quickly spiraled into guilt, anger and sadness. She rested her head on the parchment, ears drooping. “How can I even face her now?” She turned her gaze out the window, watching as fluffy white clouds floated by. Anger flared up inside her, She couldn’t escape her problem, everything she looked at just reminded her of it. Dash, what would you do? She gave a painful, ironic giggle. I know what you would do, I was there. You spoke up about how you felt, you put your hear on the line and what did I do? I smashed it! The pent up anger made her lash out, slamming her hoof into her desk. Ignoring the throbbing pain in her hoof she spun around and ran out her door. I know what I have to do! Her horn light up and in a flash of purple light she teleported outside the library door. “I'm coming Rainbow Dash!” She opened her wings and took to the air. ********************************************************************************************* Dash's could home came into view. This was the fastest Twilight had ever been able to fly, she even surprised herself. Slowing her descent, she landed rather deftly on the cloud door step, then... She froze. Twilight stared blankly at the door, despite having come this far she had no idea what to say. What can I possibly say to make this better? I think I may have pushed her away for good. What was I thinking, I was so selfish. Dash, please forgive me! She fought back the urge to fly away. She knocked on the door. Once. Twice. A third time. Still no answer. “Rainbow Dash!” She called out, but still no response came. With a heavy sigh she continued. “Dash please, I want to talk to you!” The house returned her plea with disheartening silence. Hanging her head in defeat she turned from the door. “I'm so sorry Rainbow Dash.” With those words she glided back to the ground. Slowly, she trotted back home. Maybe I should give her a couple of days? No! What good would that do, she would just spend that whole time thinking I hate her, and I would spend it hating myself for doing that to her. I have to find her today! She looked around for anyone who may know where Dash was. Then a certain pink pegasus at the celery stand caught eye. Fluttershy! Twilight dashed over to her friend. “Fluttershy!” her sudden shout startling Fluttershy into dropping the stalk of celery she had just purchased. “Oh, I'm sorry Fluttershy. Let me buy you a new one.” “Oh no, it's alright. I have enough to buy a new one, besides it was my fault for dropping it.” She spoke in her characteristically gentle tone. Twilight was about to insist but Fluttershy continued speaking. “Anyway whats wrong Twilight? You look a bit down?” The question caught Twilight off guard. She thought she managed to normalize her face and demeanor before approaching her. Fluttershy was sharp when it came to other ponies feelings. Should I just tell her the whole story? Twilight decided against this though, even she didn't know exactly how to handle it and it was Dash's business so she knew it would be wrong to spread it around. “I just need to find Rainbow Dash, do you know where she is?” “Well, I think she went to Sweet Apple Acres earlier, so you could try there. Why? Did something happen?” “What? No. Of course not!” Twilight knew she sounded less than convincing but with Fluttershy it was unlikely that she would press to hard for answers. Though she did raise an eyebrow. “Anyway, thanks for the help. I got to go!” She forced a smile before turning away, but then stopped mid way. “Actually, Fluttershy. Could I ask you something?” “Go ahead, you just tell me what's on your mind.” She said cheerfully. With a voice like that she could understand why animals felt safe around her. “Have you ever heard of two mares being together. I mean like, well, romantically?” Fluttershy gave a light giggle in response. “Of course not Twilight, two mares cant be together any more than two stallions can.” Twilight felt even more disheartened than before, but the look on Dash's face when she confessed, or even more so the look on her face when Twilight broke her heart was more than enough to override it. “Thanks Fluttershy, I have to go. I'll see you later” ************************************************************************************** She ran nonstop to the Apple's farm. As she got closer she noted that there were less and less clouds, a good indicator that she was here, or at least that she had been. She approached the gate that led into the farm, huffing from exhaustion. “Whatcha' doin'” Twilight jumped from the small voiced that drawled behind her. She turned to find Applejack's little sister looking at her bemused. “Oh, Apple Bloom. Hi, is Rainbow Dash around here?” She nervously laughed off her embarrassment, hoping the filly hadn't noticed her jump. “Yeah, she's here. I think she's help'n big sis with something. Why?” “Oh I just, um. I... Need to talk to her! Yeah, I have to talk to her about something!” She smiled triumphantly at her quick thinking, though the filly was not fooled. “Okay then? Go on in?” She raised a suspicious eyebrow at Twilight as she walk into the orchard. She made her way through the trees, not sure which direction to go. I keep forgetting just how big Sweet Apple Acres really is. She pondered flying but quickly dismissed the thought, the walk gave her more time to think of what she would say, and despite the effort she had gone through to see Dash she was not so keen on making it happen too soon. She almost laughed at the contradiction when a rainbow blur streaked down from the sky, landing in a clearing not too far from her. Going against her earlier thought she sprinted to the clearing. She could make out Applejack's voice, and soon after that, Rainbow's. Twilight burst into the clearing, causing the two ponies' heads to turn. Twilight was not more than a meter or two away from them. While Applejack merely looked surprised, Dash's was a much deeper expression. Pain, anger and fear danced in her eyes and her wings partially extended as if she would fly away at any moment. “Hey, Twilight. What brings you to our neck of the woods?” She said in her chipper southern drawl. It took a moment to register to Twilight that Applejack had even spoken, leaving her standing there in awkward silence staring at Rainbow Dash. “I-I'm sorry. Applejack could I get a moment alone with Rainbow Dash?” “Um, sure thing sugar cube. I got to tend to the south field anyhow.” She walked off leave the pair standing in uncomfortable silence. The tension was almost palpable. Quickly losing her nerve Twilight staggered back a step and stared at the ground. “What do you want?!” Her tone cut at Twilight's heart, it was full of venom and betrayal but it was a hint of another feeling that gave her the courage to speak. Deep under the spite, there was the unmistakable essence of sorrow. She forced her body to move forward, consciously willing herself through every step. “I'm sorry.”