The sounds of running footsteps echoed through Everfree Castle as the three Planeswalkers charged through the elegant hallways. Behind them, a number of ponies were in pursuit. About ten guards, and another twelve servants were following the Planeswalkers through the castle.
“C’mon man! We gotta keep going!” Ziggle shouted as Donovan began to slow down.
“I know, I know!” the Planeswalker shouted back. The sound of rapid hoofsteps got louder and louder as the mass of ponies gained on them.
Taking off at a full sprint again, the Planeswalkers continued their mad dash through the castle. Three minutes later, Ziggle was the first to round a corner, nearly running headfirst into a bulky, cream white alicorn with a fiery red mane. King Solaris was sitting next to a door with a red cross on it. Though his face was contorted into a full snarl as the three Planeswalkers turned the corner.
“Oh... uh... hey there...” Kayne chuckled nervously.
“You’re late!” the king boomed.
“I know, I know... but Kayne lost his spellbook, and Donovan needed to brush his hair,” Ziggle quickly replied.
Donovan covered his face with his hand. “You stupid fucker, don’t try to pin this on me and Kayne, you were the one who got lost. Besides, I don’t have any hair.”
“Enough! You’re late, and that’s all that matters right now,” Solaris shouted as the rest of the ponies rounded the corner, some running into the Planeswalkers. “I called all of you ten minutes ago! How does it take you ten minutes to get-”
The king’s rant was stopped as a scream resounded from inside the room. Every head in the hallway was looking at the door as more screams of pain continued to echo forth. There were a few other voices coming from inside, but those were quickly drowned out by more screams.
The king’s expression quickly turned to one of regret as he bowed his head in shame. “I feel so bucking useless right now...” King Solaris mumbled.
Ziggle stepped forward and put a hand on the alicorn’s shoulder. “Hey, man. You’re doing great.”
“Ziggle, what the buck are you talking about?” Solaris asked with a dumbfounded expression.
The Planeswalker tapped his chin in thought. “I, uh, didn’t really think that far ahead. It was just supposed to cheer you up a bit.”
The king shook his head with a chuckle before another pained scream came from the room. This one was much longer and louder than any previous scream. Once again, all conversation stopped, and all eyes were on the door. Seconds seemed like hours before the door opened slightly, a nurse poking her head out before speaking.
“My king,” she said as she opened the door wider, a smile barely contained on her face.
Solaris wasted no time in trotting through the door. Everyone else stood frozen in place as the king disappeared into the room. A few seconds later, Solaris’s poked his head out of the room, glaring at the Planeswalkers.
“Are you three morons coming?” The king nearly shouted.
Not wanting to piss off Solaris more than he already was, the three Planeswalkers quickly stumbled into the room. Laying on the bed was the king’s wife, Queen Nocturne. She was as equally stunning as the king, however, her coat was a dark and rich purple, while her mane and tail resembled the untarnished night sky. Entire arms of the galaxy seemed to move and ripple through her mane, making it seem as though she were a direct conduit to the heavens above.
Held between her forehooves was a small blue bundle of cloth. Just barely visible within, was a white filly with a small tuft of pink for a mane. A tiny horn protruded from her forehead, marking her forever as a magic user.
Everyone in the room was silent as the king slowly made his way to his wife’s side. The words shared between the two were inaudible for everyone else. The king gave a nod and sat down as he gently took the filly in his hooves.
“Everyone, meet my daughter, Celestia.” A click was heard as Ziggle quickly pocketed a small device.
~~~<<<>>>~~~
“Awww, that sounds adorable,” Twilight cooed, much to the embarrassment of Celestia.
“It really was. I’m surprised Kayne here didn’t start crying,” Donovan said with a chuckle.
“Hey, screw you. It was a beautiful moment,” Kayne said as he wiped a single tear from his eye.
Ziggle then pulled out his spellbook and began flipping through the pages. “That’s great and all, but you wanna know what’s really awesome?”
Everyone at the table looked at the mentally unstable Planeswalker as he skimmed through the pages.
“I promise you, it’s something everyone dreads. The single most horrifying thing to ever cross the mortal realm. No matter what, no matter where, these objects are feared by all. Not even the Dimir interrogators would dare use something so nefarious.” Pausing for dramatic effect, “Behold! The single greatest source of blackmail ever created! Baby pictures!” With that, he spun the book around for all to see.
Taped to the inside of the back cover were a number of baby pictures, all of Celestia. The solar Princess instantly turned bright red and tried to hide her embarrassment in her hooves. For Luna, however, this was not something that could ever be passed up.
“Tell me, how did you get these!?” She demanded.
Ziggle casually pulled a small silver device from his robe pocket before setting it down on the table. Twilight eyed it curiously before looking back to Ziggle.
“What’s Nikon?”
“This, my dear, is what’s called a camera. I picked this up on some other plane a while back. Arth... no... Airth... no... Eerth... no...”
“Earth, you dumbass. The plane was called Earth,” Kayne said with a sigh.
“Whatever, nerd. Point is, I got baby pictures,” Ziggle said with a beaming smile.
“Oh, these are amazing!” Luna shouted as she and Twilight crowded over the open book.
“Don’t be so gung-ho there Luna. You don’t think we missed out on getting a few of you, right?” Donovan said with a sly grin.
Luna’s expression instantly dropped to one of dread as she mulled over the implications. Celestia seemed to capitalize on this and leaned over to her sister.
“You know, I have a few contacts in the Equestrian Press who would absolutely love even one of your baby pictures. So be careful who you poke fun at, dearest sister of mine,” Celestia said into Luna’s ear.
The indigo alicorn froze up as sweat beads formed on her forehead. Celestia was right, the embarrassment would be unimaginable. Noticing the two alicorns whispering to each other, Kayne cleared his throat.
“Hmmm, perhaps we could get both sets of pictures published. I’m sure there’s a news agency that would kill to get their hooves on something like this.” Both siblings looked at Kayne with expressions of sheer terror, all while Twilight was trying not to burst out laughing. For her, this was a side of both princesses that she had never even dreamed about, let alone actually see. Getting back on track, Twilight summoned a blank scroll and inkwell.
“So, this was all after the pony tribes unified, correct?”
Donovan turned to Twilight and nodded. “Yeah, about seven hundred years to be precise.”
“Wow. Just how old are you?” Twilight asked as she began to scribble notes.
“That’s easy. How old is time?” Ziggle asked as he put his camera away.
“Uhhh... well the universe is only thirteen billion years old...” Twilight pondered.
“Not quite. Take how old time is, multiply it by seventeen. The square it. Now you should have a totally useless number because it’s nothing like that at all,” Ziggle said as he began to laugh.
Twilight just sat there slack jawed as she tried to comprehend what he had just said. Failing miserably, the young alicorn shook her head to try and collect her thoughts.
“Okay, so, what were the years after Celestia’s birth like?”
“They were... exhausting,” Kayne replied.
“Chaotic.” Donovan said.
“Totally fucking sweet,” Ziggle exclaimed.
Everyone looked at him with concerned looks before Kayne smacked him on the back of the head. “Ziggle, sometimes it amazes me that you remember how to breathe.”
~~~<<<>>>~~~
The castle was in full panic mode as every servant and guard rushed about, trying to find the young princess Celestia. Somehow, the five year old filly had managed to slip away from the watchful eye of her foal sitter and was now making her way through the castle gardens.
She had begged her father to let her go outside and play, but her father always said is was “too dangerous” for her to go beyond the confines of the private garden of the castle. Out here, she was free to roam and explore everything. The young Celestia didn’t have a care in the world as she trotted through the seemingly endless garden surrounding Everfree Castle. Her father had always spoken of the dangers posed by the world beyond the castle walls, but now that she was here, she couldn’t see what he was talking about.
Back within the castle, an irate Solaris was pacing back in forth in front of his throne. The three Planeswalkers were standing idly by, flipping through their spells as they waited for any news on the missing Princess.
“Your majesty!” A guard announced as he bowed to his king.
“Have you found her?!” The king demanded.
“No, sire. We’ve checked every room in the castle. Nopony has seen her,” the guard admitted.
“Then check the surrounding area. Harmony forbid she got beyond the walls,” Solaris ordered. The guard popped a salute and quickly cantered off. The king then turned to the waiting Planeswalkers. “Is there anything you three could do?”
Kayne instantly began flipping through pages before stopping on one. With a quick bit of focus, the Planeswalker gathered up nine green mana orbs. The mana quickly formed into one big spehe before shooting into his spell book. Suddenly, three small plant-like sprouts formed on the stone tile. As the king watched with interest, all three sprouts suddenly became about as big as one of his guards.
Each plant-creature was different from the next. One looked like a log had grown six legs with it’s back was covered in dull orange mushrooms. The one next to it seemed to lack definitive legs, but had two arms and was made almost entirely of tree roots. Oddly enough, it seemed to have a defined face, although it lacked any real facial features. The last one looked like a dog, only it’s body resembled a clove of garlic turned on its side. Just below its eyes dangled a small mass of red tendrils.
Kayne smiled as another bipedal fungus creature seemed to appear out of thin air. With only a nod, the four fungus-creatures scurried off in different directions, leaving a speechless king.
“What were those... things?”
“Saprolings: tiny little bits of sentient fungus. If anyone can find Celestia, it’s those little guys. Besides,” another dog-like saproling popped into existence and quickly galloped out of the castle, “if she’s out in the garden, what better to find her with than a plant?”
“Hmmm, but what if somepony tries to hurt her? Can those saprolings fight?” the king asked with concern.
“Eh, kinda. Their power is in their massive numbers. I can always summon something with a bit more beef to it,” Kayne said as he flipped through his spells.
“It would put my mind at ease if you did,” the king replied.
Gathering up another five green mana orbs, Kayne pressed them into the spellbook, causing the page to glow. With a quick flash, a massive fungus-creature was standing in the throne room. This one was easily bigger than anyone in the room. It stood on two short legs and supported itself with two massive arms. A mess of tendrils and vines dropped from its face while its red eyes gave at a very malicious look.
“Be a good thalid and go find me Celestia. Tiny little white and pink pony, hard to miss.” The thalid replied with a guttural groan as it turned to leave the castle. The Planeswalker quickly gathered up another two orbs of green mana and threw them at the thalid. “Oh, and one more thing. Ponies are friends, not food. Unless they try to hurt the princess. Then they can be food.”
~~~<<<>>>~~~
Out in the gardens, Celestia was truly enjoying her newfound freedom. There was no one to tell her not to eat that rose, or be mindful of where she was walking. Out here, she could do whatever she wanted.
“Well, hello there, little filly. What are you doing out here?” Celestia whipped around to see three thuggish looking stallions walking up through the bushes. “Aww, are you out here all alone?”
The sneers and laughs they were giving her were not indicative of somepony who she could trust. Backing up slowly, Celestia tried to put some distance between her and the three stallions.
“Hey now, where do you think you’re off to? You’re not trying to leave, are ya?” One of the ponies asked with a chuckle.
“Oh, now this is somethin’ special. You’re the king’s daughter, ‘aint ya?! Oh boy, that means you’ll be worth a lotta bits,” a brown unicorn said as he lit his horn. Celestia soon found her hooves unable to move as they were wrapped in a light brown aura.
“Don’t make a sound, or it’ll be the last sound ya ever make,” A grey pegasus chuckled.
Suddenly, a loud roar and a pounding noise shattered the scene. Lumbering only twenty feet away was the massive savage thalid. It roared and pounded it’s incredibly thick fists on the ground again, as if giving one last warning.
“The buck is that thing?” The brown unicorn asked with a hint of fear.
“Just zap it an let’s go,” the pegasus suggested.
However, just as the unicorn was about to fire his spell, the monstrosity charged the group. Raising its massive fists up into the air, the thalid brought them down on the pegasus, crushing and killing it instantly. The unicorn fared little better as he suddenly found a massive fist slamming into the side of his skull. The force enough to shatter every bone on the left side of his body.
However, the third pony, a beige unicorn, was able to get off a quick fireball. The spell shot forward and exploded as soon as it touched the thalid, killing it instantly. The unicorn cheered at his victory while Celestia cried at the sudden loss of her would be savior.
The young Celestia then noticed a faint shimmer of green light before the massive thalid rose to its feet once more. Before the unicorn could fire another spell, he found himself in the grip of the monstrous thalid. With a look of pure malice, the savage thalid began to squeeze. Celestia could only hear the stallion scream for mercy before a loud crack silenced his cries for help.
The young alicorn tried to hide in a nearby bush as the thalid turned to face her. Rather than crush her under its foot, the thalid instead laid an open palm at Celestia’s hooves. Confused, the young princess looked up to the fungus. Gone was the malice and rage that inhabited its eyes only moments ago.
With a gulp, Celestia climbed onto its palm and gripped the thalid’s wrist as it brought its hand up to the top of its head. Celestia slowly climbed off the hand and settled atop the thalid’s hunched back. With Celestia riding atop it, the thalid slowly turned around and lumbered back to the castle.