My heart was racing, waiting for the answer.
"I don't have feelings towards you."
"R-really?"
"Yes. I'm sorry."
I let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank you..."
"What? I don't understand."
"I was beating myself up all day over that. It's a relief hearing that."
"Why is that? You're confusing me. Explain this."
"Alright. I guess I can tell you. I... I love you, Luna. At least, I thought I did. When I met you for the first time, I fell in love with you. But those feelings have changed. Not in a bad way, though. I still love you. But I love you like I love all of my friends. Yesterday... I kissed Pinkie Pie, and I panicked. I've never done that, ever. I thought that I put myself into a situation that I never wanted to be in. I don't like being in love. It's too complicated. For me."
She looked at me with wide eyes. "This... was... unexpected, to say the least. You were in love with me?"
"I was. I was so worried that you would say yes. I couldn't even decide if it would be a good thing or a bad thing."
"Why would it be a bad thing?"
"I... After I... kissed her, I started freaking out. I couldn't think straight. It was just a little kiss, but it made me feel so strange inside. D-do you understand me? This is getting embarrassing."
"I don't understand why you were so worried."
"I'm... not..." I thought about what to say at this point. "I don't like love. I don't like talking about love. I don't like thinking about love. When I... uh... When I suddenly kissed Pinkie... it was so shocking to me. I've never kissed anypony before, not even a human woman. Or man, for that matter. I love everypony. You, your sister, Twilight and her friends, my friends from back home, everypony. I've just never felt real love until I came here. I didn't interact with people enough. I... I guess I made myself worried, but I'm just that kind of person. I built it up too much in my mind."
"What if I had said yes? What would you do?"
"I... I don't know. I guess that was why I was so worried. I couldn't think of anything. I'm scared of things that I can't think through." I looked away, thinking of it for the last time. "I didn't want to make you angry. I didn't want to hurt Pinkie's feelings. If you had said yes, then I would've told you. And then... I don't know. I'm just... I'm not... I wouldn't be able to deal with that."
She smiled. "You think too much. Even I don't think like that. You need to relax. You take life too seriously for one your age."
"I know, Princess."
"You were always so happy when you were with me. Was this all because of what happened with your friend?"
"I... don't think so. When I was... away, I was held in a changeling prison cell. After almost month had passed, just a few days ago, I asked to go. I wanted to come home to my friends. I begged to their Queen, and she mocked me. She laughed at me, and I lost it. Not just my temper. I lost something else. I've felt different since then. And I don't like it." I laughed a little to myself. "This is too serious for me, Princess. I just wanted to go back to the way things were. We were all happy back then, weren't we?"
'Celestia is at the door. I need to remove the barrier.'
'I've said what I wanted. Thanks.'
The door swung open moments after she released her spell.
"What are you..." she started, "What... are you two doing in here?"
"We were discussing something in private." said Luna.
I nodded with a small smile on my face. "Yeah."
"Why was the door sealed?" she asked us sternly.
"I told you, sister. We needed to talk in private. That means without any guards."
"What were you talking about?"
Luna remained silent. I shook my head. "It's a personal matter."
"Indeed."
She looked at me. She seemed confused, but I couldn't tell why.
"We... We'll talk about it later, Princess."
"You're so troublesome."
I laughed. "I missed you two! How are you?"
"We're great." she said.
"Yes. And you? I see that you're injured."
"I'm fine. It doesn't hurt as much as it did earlier, and I'm healing up pretty nicely." I told them the short version of what had happened to me.
"The changelings were north?"
"Yeah."
"How was their Queen in this setting? You said that you spoke with her."
Chrysalis stared at me, and gave me a nod.
"It's difficult to say. At first, she actually seemed kind. Or at least enough to have me patched up. She acted as I would imagine you would to a prisoner, Princess. Except... sometimes, she was cruel to me. I talked to her for a while. I gave her a few suggestions, and she even considered them."
"Suggestions? Like what?"
"I told her that she was better off making peace with you ponies than remain hostile. I even convinced her to join me. Even if she didn't want to make peace, she could always just spy on you."
"What?" She turned and looked at the two mares. "You... you mean..."
"I would've liked to have waited before you gave us away, but I suppose that it's unavoidable now."
The pair of them were covered in emerald flames, and they were returned to normal.
"Y-you did this?" Celestia asked me, "You led them here?!"
"Capture them, if you want." I said with a strikingly calm tone, "You two are more powerful than they are."
"You traitor!"
"Calm yourself, Angelus. We've come here on peaceful terms. Settle your dispute with the human elsewhere."
I looked at her. "C'mon, Angleus. The adults are talking."
"I'm older than you are."
"Yeah, well I'm Phil."
I left the room, and Angelus followed.
"You infuriate me to no end, human."
I was just about to walk down the hall, but suddenly stopped, and put my hoof in front of her chest.
"What the..."
"Change back into a pony, Angelus."
She did as I said, and let out a reluctant, "Thanks."
"Lets go."
"I don't want to be too far away from my Queen."
"If Celestia or Luna were going to imprison her or anything, then we would've heard some commotion already. Ponies are pretty peaceful. Unless she purposefully says or does something bad, nothing will happen. She's a big girl."
"I hate it when you say things like that."
"Trust me. You've got nothing to worry about. If you want, you can come with me, but you don't have to. I'm just gonna... I don't know... maybe do some more thinking."
"What are you going to think about?"
"I don't know. I hate my head."
"That makes two of us."
"Yeah."
I shook my head. 'I want to go back and talk to Pinkie. I can't go right now. Luna or Celestia may need me. And Chrysalis... she's fine.'
"Why did you give us away so soon?"
"I wanted to see what would happen." I said, "I'm going to the library. Are you coming with?"
She nodded.
I didn't like how I felt. I was angry, but sad. It wasn't me. I'm always happy. Being happy makes me happy.
I grabbed onto a book, then let go. I stared at the spines. They were blank to me.
"Angelus."
"What do you want?"
"Are we friends?"
"What?"
"You're not very nice to me, but you never seemed to hate me. Are we friends?"
"I... I guess so... I don't actually dislike you. It's just the things that you do. You openly disrespect my Queen."
"I... have no excuse for that. I just act that way around everypony."
"Even your Princesses?"
"I would if I hung out with them more often. It'd been a while since I've been here. And who's fault would that be, again? Anyways, it doesn't matter. I have something big planned that involves her."
"What are you talking about?"
"It isn't a bad thing, don't worry. It won't matter for a while, though. I feel weird."
It was still difficult to keep up a smile, and I didn't fully understand why.
'C'mon, you sorry sack of shit! Get your ass into gear! There's enough time to feel sorry for yourself later. You have Angelus, you have music, you have the majority of usable limbs left! Pick something and do it! Do it hard! Especially Angelus!' I shook my head to pull myself back together.
I stretched myself out as best I could. I laughed at myself. "Alright... yeah... C'mon, lets get something to eat. I'm starvin'."
"Did I miss something? Why are you so happy all of the sudden?"
"Life's too short for me to be sad, silly face."
I put on my headphones and turned them up loud, smiling as I walked. This was how I was meant to move. No thinking, no problems.
I asked the chefs to make us some pancakes, and I apologized to them before I dug in like a ravenous dog. Angelus acted very refined. A nice contrast to my awful behavior.
I silenced my headphones. "That was delicious!" I said happily.
"I have to admit, these royal chefs really know what they're doing."
"Well of course. They're royal chefs, after all."
I thanked them, apologized again, and we left.
Oh, I felt so much better.
I went back to the Princesses, but could still hear them talking inside.
I shrugged. "You... wanna go to the library again?"
"Are you kidding me? We were just there."
"Well, I'm going."
I briefly looked at the books again. None of them were very interesting to me right now. Just as well, I suppose. I sat against a shelf, and listened to music again. "I like this place. It's the most peaceful part of the castle. Nopony bothers you in here."
"You're boring me."
"Yeah..." I stretched my headphones out, then said, "You wanna listen?"
She shook her head.
"Suit yourself."
Boo, I'm boring. And probably going in circles.
I rested against the bookshelf for a total of 56 minutes, about 22 songs.
I saw the door open, and Celestia walked in. I stood up and bowed, taking the headphones off.
"Have you reached an agreement, Princess?"
"We have. My sister and I were both taken aback by this, but we agreed that peace would be best."
"Cool."
"Angelus, leave us. I need to discuss something with him."
"As... As you wish, Princess Celestia."
She left the room, leaving us alone.
"Why did you do this?" she asked, "I'm not angry at you, nor am I particularly ecstatic that she is here. Why have you brought her to Canterlot?"
"I wanted you two to talk. Even if nothing was agreed upon, I just wanted the two of you to talk like civil ponies. In truth, if you had imprisoned her, I would've assisted in her escape."
"You... what? That would be a crime."
"Of course it would. I just don't see the point in imprisoning her. She's not... She doesn't have an evil soul."
"What do you know about her soul?"
"She's from this world, so that makes her, at the very least, not truly evil. Unlike the human world. I... No... I'm not the right person to talk about the human world. I have an evil soul, Celestia. At least, that's how I feel. My view of the human world is hatred. I hate my own kind. But many of them are so much better than I am. Some humans have more heart than even Fluttershy, and she's the element of kindness. Others put even Nightmare Moon to shame. Humans... I just do not like them."
"'I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.' Isn't that what you said to Queen Chrysalis?"
"Yeah."
"And now you're saying that many are better than you are."
"Yeah."
"Which is it? Are you the best of your kind, or the worst it has to offer?"
"I... I'm just Phil."
She smiled. "You are kind, you are caring, you are interesting, you are intelligent, and you are good. You are Phil."
"I don't need to compare myself to any other human. I just need to be a good person. Heh... I probably couldn't have figured that out without help. Thanks." I paused for a few moments, then wrapped my arm around her for a brief hug. "I want to go back to Ponyville, Princess." I said, pulling away.
"Of course, but could you wait a while before you leave? There is much to discuss."
"Alright, I guess."
"Earlier, you said that you would've helped her escape. You would risk your own freedom for her?"
"Yeah. I brought her here, and I'd bring her home."
"You don't know if you could do that, do you?"
"I'm sure I can't."
"That's very noble of you. My sister told me what you said to her."
"That was weird. I don't want to go through it again."
"Queen Chrysalis told me that she was afraid of you. I didn't understand that. Would you like to explain it to me?"
"I... don't fully understand why myself. Maybe it was because I knew where she was, or that I'm a human. What's going to happen to Angelus and Chrysalis?"
"Queen Chrysalis wanted to speak with you again. Come with me, I'll take you to her."
"Alright."
We walked to the throne room, where she was waiting. I gave her a small bow.
"So what's up?"
"I'd like to thank you for this."
"Really?"
"That's right. We're at peace with the ponies, and it's all thanks to you. I would never have done this without you."
"It's an honor, Your Highness."
"And... I'd like to apologize once again for what I did."
I nodded. "Are you leaving?"
"Yes. I must return to my kingdom."
"Alright. I'll see you later."
"Feel free to stop by when you get the chance, though. I'll make sure that you're welcomed properly."
"Thank you."
"Of course. Angelus, it's time to go."
"Yes, ma'am. Um... Goodbye, Phil... Princesses."
"I'll see ya. Nice to get to know the two of you."
They both left. Two guards followed them.
"That was fun." I said, "I broke my arm, but I made a friend. All in all, it was a good journey."