I could have sworn that it worked.
The Decageas was supposed to be a surefire shot. It only had one weakness - the aiming. Such a powerful spell would not be subjected to steering. It would propagate in the direction it was fired at, and that was straight.
Discord is a being that teleports at free will. This would pose a problem for such an unwieldy method - but he is a schemer, more cautious than he lets on. He doesn't like the idea of running on near-empty; he conserves his energies as much as possible, unless fury overtakes his better senses. He wouldn't burn through his energies so flippantly.
Not to mention teleportation is a ridiculously complex thing. Takes considerable effort, regardless of the magnitude of displacement - "simply" shifting your being from point A to point B does involve, after all, skipping the millions of points in between instantaneously. Put under pressure, perhaps Discord would not think of rapid teleportation to aid his fight. Then again it is Discord...
He didn't teleport when he was fighting Celestia, though. He opted instead to fly. He cannot fly faster than her - their speeds were almost equal - and he would have figured that out.
So my assumptions were right. The Decageas was applicable. It should have worked. It had. Should have...
Celly and Luna are not to blame. They are powerful, amazing creatures. They showed bravery, grit and resilience, far more than I give them credit for. I realize that now. No, the failure wasn't because of their weakness.
That leaves just me and Furhich.
I can't blame Furhich either. He's a unicorn. Sure, he can erect a whole hex by himself on a whole team, but...
Why couldn't he have undergone the alicornification instead?
The payload was strong. It simply wasn't magnified enough. That's the only possibility left. It almost killed Discord, and if it had been stronger... And the magnifying hex was largely my creation.
I came up with this plan, and it failed.
It's my fault.
Caughlin could hear noises, but she could not see. She felt a soft lump lying on her tummy, a gravity across every inch of her body. She could hear muffled rattling of trolleys some distance away, and a slow but steady beeping much closer. Her head felt oddly light, and her stomach was in knots.
She tried to speak, but all that came out was a barely audible croak. She felt her throat sting.
So if I'm not surrounded in golden fields of wheat and daffodils, I must be in... Tartarus... It's much less warm than I expected.
A door creaked open, and next to her curtains - Discord knew why Whooves kept them in his room, but that rattling couldn't be anything but - were pulled back. There was the familiar sound of scribbling, and then a rustling of what seemed to be plastic.
"Doctor, you've arrived just in time," said a pleasant mare's voice. "The patient seems to have awakened."
"All right then," replied a gruff baritone. "I'll dim the lights. You unwrap her bandages." There was a small click. He approached her and murmured, "Now I want you to stay perfectly still. Don't panic. We're medical experts, and we know what we're doing. Right now, your eyes are wrapped up. We're going to take the bandages off. I want you to keep your eyes closed until I tell you to, okay? And when we do, I'll take some measurements and see whether you can, well, see. Most likely you're going to have to stay blinded for a few more days, but we'll have you back to all senses in at most a week. Nod if you understand."
Caughlin nodded. It hurt her neck to do so.
"Nurse, if you would be so kind."
Sturdy hooves propped her head up. She waited as she felt the tug of of the gauze wind around and around, and tried to envision the scene from the doctor's eyes. She thought back to the medical bay of the Laboratory - under-staffed and under-stocked because it was under-used. Discord had actually never harmed anypony seriously with the exception of Macquaire and herself, and experiment-related injuries had been rare up till now. A year of firsts, she thought grimly.
She cringed as, despite the nurse's best efforts, the last strip pulled out several strands of her mane. She felt a wet cloth rub against her eyes, followed by some much harder, a painful prod. There was the inexplicable sound of burning paper, and then the doctor called:
"Now, please open your left eye."
She did so slowly. As if expecting it, the nurse held Caughlin's hooves down firmly to stop her from rubbing away the eyecrust - the itch burned - dabbing away the nuisance herself with cloth humming with magic. So my nurse is a unicorn. Doctor too, probably.
"What do you see?" asked the doctor.
"Blurry," muttered Caughlin. Her throat still hurt, and she was dying for a drink. "Water?" She made out the shape of a glass hovering in front of her. It dipped down to her mouth level and, after a cautionary nudge, tipped its contents gently. Caughlin opened her lips readily; the sip that the nurse had given her before whipping the cup away wasn't enough. Keeping one eye open was frustrating, and she felt the muscles relax.
"More?"
"What do you see?" repeated the doctor patiently.
She opened the eye again, trying to muster a glare that was half-pleading and half-enraged. She didn't have enough strength to prop herself up, though, so it was wasted. "Blurry, and really dark. Ceiling."
"Please work with us, miss Mare. We're only trying to help," said the nurse. Caughlin nodded and mumbled an apology.
"Now please close that eye and open the other one. Tell us what you see then."
She obeyed, and the trusty wet cloth was back to partially relieve her discomfort, followed by a much more generous allowance of water.
"Blurry as usual. I see... legs pinning me down, at the edge of my vision. I guess they're green?"
"Anything else?"
"I see the sheets of my bed. Nothing else."
"Thank you. Now in either instance, could you see your snout?"
"I... couldn't."
That was when it struck her. She had lived all her life, as everypony did, seeing with her snout just peeking under her range of vision. The sudden lack of this detail immediately drove itself into her mind. Her eyes were about to shoot open, if not for the nurse's gentle but decided touch on them.
"I see," said the doctor. There was more scribbling.
Caughlin waited, but nothing more came. Wow. So informative. Very reassuring. Was that it? Was that some kind of... of punchline? Cruel and unusual - this must be Tartarus. "Is anything the problem, doctor?" she asked aloud.
"It seems that the... incident has caused your eyes to swivel out of position. For now, it is sufficient for you to just imagine it: one eye looking up, one eye looking down. I believe they call it 'wall-eyed'."
"Incident? Wall-eyed?"
"If I might be frank, miss Mare... it's a wonder you're still alive." She could see the scowl in his tone: some kind of post-amazement resignation. "Back to the matter, we'll be able to rectify your sight. That brief flare you heard was me imprinting your focal pathways onto magicked paper. When your condition stabilizes and the maps develop, surgery will restore the connections between the eyeballs and the vital nerves. The wall-eyed condition, though, is a bit harder - we will not be able to do anything about it." There was no hesitation as he continued. He had practiced this.
"You see, your eyes have literally swiveled out of position. This, we received, was an involuntary action caused by immense pain, as well as ah, unique head injuries. The nerves and blood vessels behind your eyes have twisted into the new shape leading to your condition. We can fix up your sight using magic by running streams through the necessary channels, but we cannot physically untangle the nerves. It's too risky. One wrong move, and you're blind in that eye. And there's the blood vessels to consider too..." He sighed. "But I doubt that your appearance would matter much in light of your other causality. As the doctor assigned to you, I have a responsibility to tell you what you should know. And-"
She barely noticed the door slide open. She tensed at Furhich's voice: "That's enough, doctor. How is she?"
She wasn't the only one put on edge by him, it seemed. The doctor's voice roughened even further: "Eyes functional, but they need delicate readjustment. As for vital signs, she seems fine, though I insist that you let her stay on longer! Who knows what could happen?"
"I doubt that miss Caughlin would appreciate laying in bed for another month," replied Furhich. Another? "Please leave for a moment. Let me do the telling."
"Who are all the ponies behind you?" asked the doctor warily. "You know that the patient needs rest. Crowds tend to disrupt that..."
"They are her colleagues, and what I have to announce concerns them all. It is for the best. Now please, doctor, if you would be so kind."
When they had left, the door was slid shut and the crowd surrounded her - carefully, as if afraid to draw near. She could make out familiar figures and voices, but no more. Furhich cleared his throat and silence fell across the room.
"I know that this is sudden. Most are still recuperating, and not everypony remembers what happened. I shall give you a recap." His voice was low, and it lacked the stiff authority from before. He almost sounded not unlikeable. "After the fight with Discord and our failure to defeat him, he proceeded to injure Caughlin greatly. You all know for yourselves the extent of this; miss Caughlin, you have been out for four and a half weeks. Following that, Celestia lost all morale and will to fight, and Discord tortured her."
He seemed unwilling to continue. "He put her under some sort of illusion. From her recollections afterwards, it was as if he had tortured her for days even though it was a matter of ten or so minutes in real time. We believe that it was another closed control sample, just him and her. She was crushed when they finally re-emerged. Her will to fight was gone."
"How did we get out then?" whispered Caughlin, forcing the words out. Her mind was rebooting, and already questions were brimming. "How?"
"I ordered my stallions to take us out," Furhich murmured in reply.
"You what?"
"I had them take us out!" His tone was soaked in guilt. "I lied to you. My ponies were perfectly capable of carrying additional weight with them during phasing and teleporting. The whole idea of them only being able to transport their own bodies was just a story to keep you in the Laboratory, where it was safe to develop the alicorns. We could not win; to save what we had left, I ordered them to execute our fail-safe backup plan.
"One team of ponies would phase in and take us out. Another team of phasers from the surface, carrying teleporters, would meet them mid-way, in the ground itself. Upon receiving their charges - you ponies - the teleporters were to focus energies and bring you here. Discord had no way of following us - not only were we embedded in the ground, we were utilizing multiple reality complication fields. Not even he could maintain the fields we had set up by himself.
"Of course this overlapping of Discordian influence does not come without cost; almost all of our surface-to-midground phasers lost body parts and even lives with the uncontrolled teleportation. But it was a necessary sacrifice. Because this team and the alicorns are the key to winning this war."
The following void was broken only by the beeps of the machine next to her. After what seemed like hours, Caughlin finally spoke.
"Water," she murmured. There was a scuffle and a glass was soon raised to her lips. Annoyed, she muttered, "I can do it myself, can't I?"
"Caughlin... I don't think you can." She recognized the voice as Fritters', Team 4's youngest member. Her usually mild voice sounded like she was about to burst into tears. "You can't, Caughlin, you... you can't!"
Fritters did cry, her sobs soon joined by a handful of others. And soon, Caughlin realized why.
She couldn't grasp the cup. She knew where it was, but she could not reach out to it. She couldn't reach out to anything. It was like she had lost her legs; she felt crippled, having lost her main means of carrying out basic activities. She tried to focus. There was nothing where the familiar energy was supposed to build up. It was as if something had stoppered the canal-like veins of her essence, and she was ramming her mind's power against it...
Immediately her stomach began to churn. She tried to piece together her last memories before fainting in the Laboratory. Discord's paws on my horn. Blood everywhere, and this horrible headache. It only made sense to conclude that he had torn off her horn. It was the only explanation. Yet somehow, she refused to believe it. It couldn't be. It just isn't possible... I've lost my magic?
"We spent the first two weeks trying to re-establish an equilibrium within your thaumic field," said Furhich, sounding as if he were grovelling on the floor. "We tried to have you undergo a second alicornification to replace the Horn, but the Wings and Potential were embedded too deeply within your essence. They repelled any and all attempts to introduce the new element. To keep you alive, we had to supplant your being with magic to balance out the two. Then we slowly decreased the amount until the system worked itself out. Please, your aggravation will only make your condition worse-"
The door opened with a bang. The beeping had turned harsh and frequent.
"Dang it all!" roared the doctor, shoving his way through and eliciting a lot of shuffles and protests. "Furhich, get them out of here! I told you, didn't I? She's not ready for this sort of news!" The sound of unicorn magic added to the clutter, followed by the tossing of paper. "It was hard enough controlling her when she didn't know; now that she does, her essence is going to freak!"
"What is going on here?" demanded Bluebell's voice.
"Look, miss mare, I don't have time for this," said the doctor.
"We won't leave until you tell us what's wrong," sniffed Fritters.
The doctor was almost yelling with exasperation. "Okay, fine. Look, these characteristics are part of who we are are ponies, right? It's how we identify ourselves. We see ourselves as pegasi, unicorns or Earth ponies. It's in our very being. At the same time the characteristics have their own characteristics, almost like personalities, and these further influence who we are. Pegasi are more flighty in spirit and less practical than Earth ponies for deeper reasons than 'just because'. A union - triune - works because each characteristic keeps the others in check, and the typical alicorn knows full well what she is. She's at peace with herself after overcoming the initial adaption stage.
"Now, when Discord ripped her horn off the remaining two struggled for power." Caughlin felt the sheets and the lump on her tummy being replaced with paper. "So we introduced our own magic to 'calm down' the two. That's considering the characteristics alone. Now that she knows what's happened, the inevitable distress channels through her essence, aggravating the Potential and Wings in her once more. You could say that they're having the thaumic equivalent of a hissy fit after barely making up." She felt a queer sensation flow from the papers, past her skin and into her bones. It felt both cold and hot and washed over the pain.
"We understand that you're all worried." That was the nurse. "She's in capable hands. We know what we're doing. Even if you don't want to trust us, have faith in her - like the doctor said, whether or not she makes it through comes down to how she deals with the situation. And I'm sure that she will." Caughlin imagined the mare scanning the room with a serene gaze. "Judging by all of you here, she has a lot to live for. She's not going to give up that easily."
Am I alone?
Depends on how you describe alone, I suppose. Right now there's nopony but me in here. Even if there was somepony I won't be able to see them. But then again I have my team, or what's left of them.
I really hope Whooves is okay. I wish he was here. Surely he'd have said something if he was, right? It can't be that he was left behind. Why would they leave him behind?
Did Discord... kill him?
We've definitely lost the Laboratory and everything in it, and that includes the magic-measuring machine. Such a pity. At least we have our knowledge, and the Order's HQ seems well-equipped. We could pick up where we left off.
Not that I feel like doing science. I don't feel like doing anything. Not that I can, of course. I'm atrophied. That's what happens to ponies in comas. Muscles wasted away like the gradient of a natural logarithm.
A blind, horn-less alicorn. Hah. What a thing to be. What am I, anyhow? I'm not an alicorn anymore. I'm not an Earth pony - I have wings - but I can't honestly call myself a pegasus. How about "ex-unicorn"? That's truthful enough.
No, silly Caughlin, that's not important. You're first and foremost... you. Caughlin Mare, chairpony of the R&D department.
Former.
You're a mother, too. Somehow.
A friend.
A... not-quite lover. Former.
I would roll my eyes if I still had them.
But just think about it. Everypony still trusts you. They believe in you. They want you back. And there's Celly and Luna who still need you. You're not going to just leave them behind, are you? You need to protect them, from Fuhrich. You still haven't lifted the hex.
But I can't! I don't have my magic anymore!
Maybe there's a way. I mean, you've spent your life in a hole all these years, and look at what you've achieved. How much more there is waiting for you now that you're outside!
Discord, that's what. Bucking invulnerable Discord.
He's not invulnerable. He feels, he hurts. He fears. That's all we need, a chance. So the makeshift Decageas didn't work. They weren't using their full potential. If they did he wouldn't have stood a chance. We can still win. But you need to get up and get going. You need to help your foals come back. They're still foals, after all, Caughlin. Nopony should have to undergo what they have. The least you can do is be there for them.
I...
You need to rest. Oh, and don't worry, you're not going crazy. You're perfectly sane, yes? Crippled and immobile, but still sane. You can make it, for everypony.
For Equestria.
...ye gods, you are really tempting me with the eye roll here.
When she next woke up, it was to the sound of Luna's voice.
"Hello, mummy," she said. "We're here to visit you."
"You and Celly?"
"Who else?" Caughlin was suddenly swamped in mane as the two alicorns leaned in a tight embrace. She gasped for air and buried her snout into their necks.
"I'm so glad you're alright," said Caughlin, swallowing a lump. "I'm... so glad."
"It's okay, Mother. It's all going to be okay," murmured Celestia, her tone distant. "I'm stronger now. And I'm going to get revenge for what he's done."
"Celly?" started Caughlin. "Are you okay?"
"It's simple. We - I wasn't strong enough. We could have won, but I failed. I caved in. So I've been training since we escaped." Caughlin tried to reach for her as she drew back. "I'm not ready yet, but when the time comes... I will be. And we're going to bring peace and harmony to the world. We can settle down. Explore the surface that we've been dreaming of, and gaze at the sky in its entirety, not just through a glass."
"Celly, you don't have to do this," said Caughlin. "It's not your fault, do you hear me?"
"But if not mine, then whose?" She impatiently tapped a hoof. "You relied on me to deliver something strong. It wasn't enough. Even when Furhich did whatever that was - he called it a 'release command' - even with that second chance, I couldn't finish him off. I can't fail you anymore!"
"You haven't failed me, Celly. Neither of you have-"
"Then why are you in here?" burst Celestia, biting back a sob. "What are you doing without your horn and your eyes, lying in a cold bed alone? Why did this happen to you?"
"I..." The beeping began to quicken once more. "I have no idea, Celly. But come here. Come on down here." She waited and breathed deeply until she picked up Celestia's scent. "Whatever the reason, it's not you. Don't blame yourself. It only hurts me when you do that. Just... live. Live, and appreciate each tomorrow. You're not alone, Celly. You have us."
"Yes, Mother," replied Celestia, sounding dissatisfied. "Look, I... have to continue training now. Luna, are you coming?"
"Just a moment, sis. I'll catch up." Luna waited until Celestia had left before speaking. When she did so, it was in a soft voice that she said: "Mommy, can I ask you something?"
"What is it, dear?"
"Do you love Celly more than me? I mean," she added quickly, "I'm sorry for asking you this, now, but I just needed to... no, it's okay, forget it!"
Caughlin stopped and stared in her general direction. This was the scenario that she had been tossing to the back of her head every other night, in happier days. She had not given this any pre-meditation. All she had was the truth.
"Of course I don't love Celly more than you. Why would you think that?"
"Well, Celly's... strong. She's smarter, bigger and just better than m-me. She can learn stuff really quickly, and she flies faster, a... and-"
"Stop. Luna, come here." Caughlin strained as she lifted her forelegs up to hold Luna close. Her nerves were screaming. She bit her lip. "Luna, all those things don't affect how much I love you two. You're you. You're special in your own way, just like she is in hers. She could never replace you. You're sisters, and I'm your mommy. That's all it comes down to."
"I'm... I'm so sorry," stammered Luna, beginning to weep, shuddering against her grip. "I couldn't do an-anything. I just sat there, looking. Too sc-sc-scared. Celly was fighting alone. And I just s-sat there, like some foal. I watched her. That's all I did. She almost got hit so many times, in the closed-whatever. I wanted to go, but I was frozen stiff, thinking about what would happen if I got hit instead. I was almost happy when Fuhrich used the release, because it meant that I didn't have to deal with him. It's not Celly's fault, it's mine. I'm useless. I'm so sorry, mommy..."
"It's okay, Luna. It's okay," soothed Caughlin, trying hard not to cry. She felt her eyes flare up in pain. "It's not you. It's neither of you." Her forelegs flopped down, too weary to stay up. "Trust me. I'll always love you, no matter what happens or what you do. I promise you. Calm down now. There, there. It'll be fine."
Now I know what I have to do. No, wait - now I remember what I have to do. It hasn't changed since day one. I've just forgotten. I have to live, and I have to make it out of this ward. I have to be back at their sides, to care for them and support them as much as possible...
"You know, it's funny," sniffled Luna. "Since Whooves disappeared, it's just been us, me and Celly. The doctor wouldn't let us in at first. We're not supposed to be here, really, we just snuck in. And the first thing we see is Gummy, the lucky thing."
"Gummy?"
"You didn't know?" Luna lifted up the weight on her belly. "He's been here all this while. Apparently he refused to exit this room. They've tried removing him on a couple of occasions, but he keeps finding his way back in. They've given up trying."
"That's loyalty for you," chuckled Caughlin. "Who knows? He could be an embodiment of an element of harmony." Then she thought back, and her head snapped back up. "Whooves disappeared?"
"He... yes," admitted Luna. "He didn't make it out. Nopony's gone back to check, but since he's not here, he has to be still down there."
"I... oh." So I couldn't apologize to him after all. I... Before she could wallow any further, she was caught off-guard with another faceful of mane. "Eh?"
"It's a hug," said Luna, gripping her tightly. "I... you need it, don't you?"
"Yes," relented Caughlin, letting the tears fall at last. They soaked through the gauze and stung her eyes, but she didn't care, simply letting herself be lost in the sensation of Luna's silky mane. "You're right, Luna. I need it a lot."