39.1 (misterq)
Albus Dumbledore sat in his office, staring straight and unfocused at nothing in particular. If there was one thing he hated about getting older, it was how the perception of time changed. To those children in their beds, three months would seem like forever and a day. But for someone who had as much clutter in his mind as he did, three months can pass by almost in an eye-blink.
So when everything changed in a perceived eye-blink, Albus was caught completely off guard.
It was supposed to be an exciting year. Harry Potter was starting Hogwarts, as well as some of the prominent wizarding family's children. He should have expected something was wrong when Flitwick described the American-raised girl as 'lively' and 'energetic'. Dumbledore should have remembered that the charms professor, who gets so overexcited by the most trivial of reasons that he tends to fall out of his chair on a regular basis, and whose hyperactivity served him very well on the duelling circuit, usually sees most people as plodding and slow. Anyone he calls 'exciting' should have instantly sent up a red flag of warning.
Instead, the first sign that this would be a most unusual year came during the school song. Instead of a mismatched collection of young voices, there came a song and dance number that Albus would have been sure was carefully choreographed had he not been caught up in the spell, himself. New children sang about being excited to learn magic, but also a little bit scared. Older kids sang about how hard they would have to study for their tests. Professors Snape and McGonagall sang a very lovely duet. Dumbledore, himself, felt the pressure on his occlumency shields but gave in when he noticed that the compulsion to sing was harmless.
After speaking with the girl he believed to be responsible for the entertaining song and dance, McGonagall relayed that such a thing had happened before in Miss Pie's presence. She had called it a 'Heart's song'. Apparently, the girl was a natural auralmancer. It wasn't without precedence; and like the others, the light reddish-haired girl seemed destined for the stage and a life of harmless entertainment.
And then came the problems. Miss Pie's magic was, in a word, odd. Especially if she had to cast a spell over any sort of distance. An imperfect analogy was that casting a spell successfully was like throwing a ball at a target. However, Miss Pie's spells came out with far too much force and on a completely random trajectory every time. It didn't matter how she pointed her wand, there was no predicting what would happen.
And then came potions class. After a cursory surface scan during the first dinner, Albus noted that Miss Pie's mental defences resembled the outer surface of an over-inflated balloon. He decided it was a curious aspect that was due to her auralmancy and left it at that. If he had been thinking properly, he would have warned Severus. Mental backlash was usually a result of practising legilimancy on a mundane animal. The human's mind worked on a much higher and faster level, and connecting it in any significant way resulted with the animal's mind torn asunder and the poor beast in a drooling coma. That it had happened to an accomplished legilimancer like Snape made Dumbledore only speculate at what breakneck speed the odd little girl's mind worked.
It also made Dumbledore take over the potion-master's classes for the rest of the year to the cheers of a great many students.
The first flight training lesson resulted in Mr. Longbottom with a sprained wrist and dislocated shoulder when Miss Pie caught him inches from the ground. The rest of the unsupervised class was taken up with Harry Potter getting a spot on the Griffindor quidditch team by saving Neville's remembrall from smashing on the ground while Miss Pie laughed wildly as she spun as fast as she could around all three axes – as though her broom was some sort of a gyroscopic carnival ride. Of course after fifteen uninterrupted minutes of crazy spinning, she carefully landed on the ground, took a few steps, and promptly threw up all over Mr. Malfoy before passing out on the grass. Had he had not seen it himself from his window, Albus would have never believed such a little girl could have eaten so much.
Then there was the party for the house elves, the party for her housemates, the party for the first month anniversary of starting magic school, the party celebrating Professor Binn's new permanent retirement, and so forth. Oh, and the party for the Troll. Can't forget that one. Of course, using legilimancy and seeing Professor Quirrel casting an imperius and leading said troll into the school on Voldemort's spirit's orders had said spirit angrily and violently detaching and fleeing the school. That resulted in the second professor to be placed in Saint Mungo's hospital in a bed right next to Severus.
A few weeks later, they had found Lockhart gibbering to himself in the Forbidden Forest. He was completely covered in medium, large, and extra large sized acromantula. Lady acromantula, Hagrid said – and Albus really, really didn't want to know how the gamekeeper knew of this fact. They had placed the replacement defence professor next to the Quirrel, the professor he replaced.
Seeing as how the defence against the dark arts curse had gone into overdrive, Dumbledore couldn't coax anyone else to take the position. That was when the Ministry sent their choice to fill the vacancy. Albus and the other professors had a bet going of how long she would last. It looked like Trelawney, amazingly, would win the hundred galleons for her predictably dire prediction of less than one day.
But the worst thing, the worst thing was – that after Miss Pie had been questioned and set free about her perspective of the tragic case of accidental magic gone wrong, Albus habitually reached into his bowl of lemon drops only to find that they – were – all – GONE!
So now, all Albus Dumbledore could do was stare blankly at the wall and count the hours until he could race out to muggle London to get more.
"All I'm saying is that Quodpod makes Quidditch look like a bunch of old ladies having a picnic," Twilight heard Rainbow Dash's voice before she and Applejack entered her room. They were the last two of her friends to arrive.
"Quodpod is half football – American Footbal – half baseball, half hot potato, and half storming the beach at Normandy. How many explosions does Quidditch have in one game? Zero. It's all about prancing around on your broom and trying to catch a tiny artificial bird. Thus, it's so boooring," Dash continued.
"Four halves?" Twilight spoke up. "Shouldn't it be four quarters?"
"Quarters? I'm surprised an egghead like you didn't know that Quodpod doesn't have quarters. Quodpod only has three innings, like hockey."
Exasperated explanation on her lips, Twilight looked up into the grinning, teasing face of her athletic friend. "Alright, you got me. Now, are you ready for Pinkie's letter?"
"Is anyone ever really ready for Pinkie's anything?" Rarity spoke up.
"Well..," whatever Twilight started to say was lost as space folded into itself before unfolding to reveal Gummy. The small alligator was serenely and impossibly floating in midair. He slowly turned to face the girls, opened his toothless mouth, and made a noise like a foghorn. Then he vanished with a pop, leaving behind only a pink envelope.
"I don't know," Twilight preempted everyone's questions, "And I don't really want to know. Now let's see how much sanity is still left in the UK."
The lavender-haired girl unfolded the letter and started to read.
"Hello, faraway friends! It feels like it's been a month since I've last written to you."
"It has been a month," Applejack interjected.
Twilight sighed and continued, "But so much has happened, I don't know where to start. How about at the end of the last letter? That's a good place, right? Well, I may have gotten a little ahead of myself when I said I wanted to be Dolores's new bestest friend. That was before she gave me.... the book."
"It was like all the worst parts of all the worst books in the world were stuck together with worst glue and bound in horrible, horrible awful boring boringness. And Dolores wanted me to read it. The whole thing!"
"And I tried to. I really did. I got to the second page before I closed it and raised my hand. When no one called on me, I started waving it around as though I just didn't care – but secretly, I did care. Finally, when I raised my second hand and was about to do a puppet-less finger puppet show (and I think Lyra was right. Fingers are really, really neat!), Dolores – or Professor Dolly as I decided to call her, finally asked me what I wanted."
"I told her that my awful book was so overfull of boring that it exploded. To which she replied that my book was perfectly fine and on my desk, so of course I told her that my watch was fast. She said I wasn't wearing a watch, but I couldn't say anything else as my book rose into the air and exploded into confetti. At first, I was worried at what Hermione would say about a destroyed book, but then I realized that I was replacing Hermione! Her name sounds like Harmony and that kind of rhymes with Pinkie. I should see if I could make a song out of that. Oh right, back to what happened in class."
"I told a speechless Professor Dolly that it was okay and I forgive her for making me buy such a horrible textbook. It gone and can't hurt my brain any more, now. Then for some mysterious reason, she turned an angry shade of purple and gave me a detention. I think she wanted some private time so she could apologize in private."
"Instead, she gave me a quill pen and told me to start writing 'I will not be annoying'. It was good advice. No one likes someone who is being annoying at a party. But when I started writing, the pen hurt my hand. Professor Dolly asked if there was something wrong, but I said don't worry about it, I can fix it. And then I channeled my magic really hard to fix the pen and make it scratchy write somewhere else than on the back of my hand."
"The people at that Saint Mango hospital said some horrible person etched the words 'I will not be annoying' into Professor Dolly's brain, and that she can't teach anymore or remember how to walk on two legs or use a bathroom. But I'm sure they'll fix her all up in no time. At least she has a bed near Locky Heart, Squi-rel, and Spooky Snapey, so she won't be sad and lonely. I'm also fairly sure she would have wanted me to have all her moving kitten plates as an apology for that book, so now I have a lot of moving kitten plates. I decorated them all along the walls of Big Blinky's home. Both BB and Hedwig enjoy the how the kitties pretend to be scared whenever they see a giant legless lizard monster and a hungry owl."
Fluttershy made a small squeaky noise that sounded very much like, "Oh those poor plate kitties."
Twilight, unfazed, just continued with the letter, "Speaking of those two, you may have noticed that Hedwig didn't come and deliver the letter along with gummy. Well, that naughty bird and her friend got into my polyjuice potion stockpile. Apparently, they're married now and expecting three.. I don't know. Coatl? Snakey-owl babies that will probably have wings and claws and invisible death-beam laser eyes? I figure after Pound and Pumpkin, it would be a restful relaxing vacation to baby-sit (coatl-sit?) these three once they hatch."
"Speaking of polyjuice, I showed Mr. Beaky – who used to be the giant squid in the lake here, to Ron. But even though he lost his rat, Ron didn't really want Mr. Beaky as his new pet. I don't know why. I think Mr. Beaky turned out great. I fed him polyjuice with tiny bits of every kind of magical animal I could find. Each change made him look more and more interesting. I thought he would be a great pet for someone who didn't care for a small and somewhat uninteresting rat. But on the other hand, Ron is now no longer scared of spiders."
"Not much else is going on. Someone threw my friend, Harry Potter, a magic teleporting rock that hit him in the head and made him take an unscheduled field trip to a real live cemetery. He said that old Moldy Voldie was behind the whole thing, and that he managed to return by grabbing the teleporting rock after old Moldy got a new body; but no one believes him except for Ron and Neville and me and Big Al Dumbledore. I should really prepare a fun 'Hooray on Becoming Corporeal Again' party for when old Moldy visits the castle."
"We're doing defence by independent study and I'm learning so much! I got force push down pat and almost got force lightning to go where I want it to. I also got this screaming book at the library, and while it distracted the librarian; I grabbed a whole bunch of books on runes and enchanting. I thought about baking another Pretty Party Candy-copter again, but decided instead to figure out how brooms work and made all these for you girls! Just treat this letter like a storage scroll and enjoy your gifts from this Holly Jolly Pinkie. And come on over in exactly one month from now. If my Pinkie sense is right – and it usually is, there will be a party and cupcakes and a castle invasion and balloons and streamers and everything! This is Magical Girl Candy Enchantress Pinkie Pie, signing out."
Twilight sighed and sent a small amount of chakra into the letter. Five festively wrapped boxes popped out, each with an easily identified cutie mark for the intended girl.
"Now be careful," Twilight said, "I'm sure whatever Pinkie sent us is.."
"Pinkie, I don't care what anyone said or what I had privately thought about you before!" enthusiastically interrupted Rainbow Dash. The girl was wearing light blue arm and leg warmers, each with her old cutie mark on them. She was also gleefully floating near the ceiling, "Pinkie Pie, you are now best human!"
With that, Rainbow Dash opened the window and happily rocketed out into the evening sky.
39.2 (Stainless Steel Fox)
(X-Communication)
Doctor Vahlen slapped the after action report on the table in front of her. "How could this debacle occur? What sort of idiots are you letting into your strike teams these days!"
She alone of the three around the conference table had an armed guard, at her own insistence against some delayed action mind-control effect left during her mind to mind contact with Sparkle. She'd already put herself through every form of mental scanning and test known to X-Com short of going in the containment chamber herself, and the results had been uniformly negative. Apart from a slight dizziness and a taste of Elderberries in her mouth, the contact had left no physiological changes or mental alterations, other than converting her normal cool and dispassionate attitude towards her 'specimens' to an icy hatred in Twilight's case.
"I don't care for your tone, Doctor." Commander Benford said sternly. "Every member of that team is a veteran of multiple missions. It is not their fault that the primary objective was able to escape. Her ability to teleport at will and long range perception abilities made her impossible to pin down, as the report states."
"'It' not her!" Doctor Vahlen exclaimed. "Applying a gender to an alien species is ridiculous. It isn't even humanoid! Despite any superficial similarities in vocal tone, it is a non-human monster, and anthromorphising it in that fashion may lead to confusion."
Doctor Shen, the head of Engineering, spoke up for the first time. "Are we focussing too much on one thing? Other than capturing Sparkle the mission went well. No casualties on either the civilians or the team, 100% removal of the alien presence, even intact plasma rifles and pistols. It's even given us a lead on the location of the downed UFO they arrived in, which may yield more materiel. I'm also a little worried about the mission goals, or rather their relative importance. Normally rescuing the civilians is our top priority."
Benford shifted in his seat. "I wasn't happy with it myself, but my orders came directly from the Council. When compared with the potential threat Sparkle offers, even protecting civilians had... reduced priority."
"As it should have!" Doctor Vahlen interjected. "Mein Gott! You've seen the footage! It took an entire alien terror attack to pieces by itself. And it's clear that it wasn't even showing it's full power! It has to be stopped whatever it takes!"
Shen sighed. "And I think you and the council are missing one important fact. Is Sparkle a potential threat, possibly the greatest we've faced? Absolutely! But the key word is potential. Look at her actions so far. She was captured, treated like a prisoner, no an experiment! The interviews with those people at the Hot Springs showed she was sure that the team sent there would have orders to kill her, not surprising if she was taking her cues from Doctor Vahlen.
"Turn it around, if you'd been treated that way by her people and managed to escape, wouldn't you do whatever damage you could, take revenge once the balance of power was in your hands? I've calculated the energy requirements some of those things she did would require, and I've already worked out half a dozen ways she could have erased this entire facility. Stick a lump of iron in a force bubble with a vacuum and transmute it to anti-matter, then drop it in the middle of the base with the forcefield set to decay once you were safely away.
"If she does have Doctor Vahlen's knowledge she could have thought of that. And the team that went to get her? She could easily have destroyed them before they'd even landed. That energy lance she displayed went through Sectopod armour as if it was tissue paper. Skyrangers are nowhere near as well armoured, and given her detection abilities, I have no doubt she could have registered on them from a kilometre away as easily as if she was standing on top of the wing. Or she could have done exactly what she did to those aliens.
"Instead when she left, the worst she did was make some smart remarks..."
"And what about me!" Vahlen snarled. "She violated my mind, stole my memories!"
"Without harming anything other than your pride. She also saved your life, or do you think she needed to include you in her defences when the guards tried to terminate both of you? She's even apologised and offered to provide her memories in return. Just imagine it, knowledge of a whole different world with completely different technologies..."
"And so we come to it," Vahlen returned. "You're letting your desire to find out about this creature cloud your judgement."
"And I think you're letting your fears see a threat where none exists, or at least won't unless we drive her into it. On the other hand, those same powers that make her dangerous could make her an invaluable ally. We know the Ethereals lived for millennia, and made plans on that scale. Do you think the loss of one capital ship, one invasion force, will stop them forever? Wouldn't it be good to have alien allies the next time we're attacked? She already proved she was willing and able to protect humans she'd just met, those Japanese civilians think the world of her."
"When she was the one responsible for the attack in the first place, whether you believe it was unintentional or not." Vahlen's tone could have stripped paint, and made it quite clear what she believed. "They should have been brought back here. I'm sure more detailed debriefing would have demonstrated some evidence of mental tampering."
"Whereas I think the only form of mental tampering she demonstrated was politeness, honesty and a willingness to protect them. People tend to reciprocate when someone acts towards them a certain way. She acted as if she believed they would treat her as a person, and they did. She even insisted on paying her bill!"
Commander Benford finally decided to put an end to the wrangling. "Now is not the time for discussing our strategy. We need more information. Speaking of which Doctor Vahlen, what is your analysis of the coins we recovered?"
With one last glower at Doctor Shen, the scientist pulled a set of notes up on a tablet computer. "Firstly, they are almost pure gold, with just enough alloying metals to make them tough enough to stand wear, though there are some anomalies present. They weigh fractionally over a half troy ounce, and are about the size of a dime, but thicker. One side has the stylised 'face' of a unicorn, profile on, possibly the Princess Celestia Sparkle mentioned or some other important person. The obverse has an equally stylised solar disk. There is lettering around the edge, presumably a value or legend. The edges are unmilled. The witnesses say she had a large bag of similar coins, maybe three decimetres in volume."
Benford raised his eyebrows in shock. "Wait, she claimed to be on a tight budget and yet she had..."
"Roughly 40 kilograms of near bullion quality gold as her pocket change. About one million US dollars. The unmilled edges also suggest that the issuing authority isn't worried about theft, which all point to the fact that gold is common on her world, far more common than on ours anyway. That could be explained by some of the impurities nuclear analysis threw up. There is almost no lead, but there are mercury isotopes and both lithium and beryllium present. By comparison, almost all gold deposits have lead as a major impurity."
Doctor Shen caught on immediately. "You believe it was transmuted from lead?"
"Would you explain that for those of us without a degree in nuclear physics or metallurgy, Doctor Vahlen?" Commander Benford asked.
"Doctor Shen is right." Vahlen didn't look happy at having to admit that. " Lead has multiple stable isotopes, Gold has only one. Mercury is one of the end products of the decay of radioactive isotopes of gold, a side effect of imperfect transmutation. Transmutation would also release 3 protons and between 10 and 14 neutrons per nucleus. Those could be absorbed by forming lithium atoms, but only unstable isotopes which would further decay. Beryllium is an end product of some of those decay chains as well as stable isotopes of lithium.
"How they prevented themselves from dying of neutron exposure or targeted the reaction I don't know, but the composition is consistent with gold created through nuclear synthesis. Other isotope ratios confirm the gold isn't from any terrestrial gold deposit, or even one from the same accretion disk. The gold wasn't mined on any body in our solar system.
"This only increases her... it's hazard level, it not only has a superficially harmless appearance and a clear understanding of how to manipulate humans, but also money to sway the weak minded. Fortunately, even a million dollars won't buy that much safety, and most people will be less accommodating to an alien."
There was a knock, and a harried orderly came in with a sheaf of papers. Commander Benford skimmed them and sighed. "Well she's trying something. Last night, sixty thousand dollars, or rather twenty in British pounds and twenty in Japanese yen were stolen from an international bank in downtown Tokyo, or rather taken, and a sum of gold coins worth a market value of sixty five was left in it's place, along with a letter accounting exactly what was taken and showing that the gold covered it including seigniorage.
"There were similar 'thefts' at a business-wear store in the Ginza district of Tokyo, a pachinko parlour in Takayama, nearest town to the Okayama Hot Springs, a high end computer store in the Akihabara ward of Tokyo, a camping shop and several convenience stores. In each case money sufficient to cover the goods taken was left under a purple force field with a letter that itemised them and an instruction that the money would be released when they were rung up as sold, or in the case of the pachinko parlour, agreed to be replaced using the money.
"We still haven't been able to remove the records of the alien attack from the internet, too many off-line copies, and people in Japan at least are already starting to comment about the similarities. We've managed to keep the official news channels from carrying it, but I don't know how long that will last. It's pernicious, it keeps reappearing no matter how much our techs remove it or try to 'out it' as a CGI fake."
He shook his head. "But some of these items make no sense! Packaged long-life snacks and vegetarian food, obviously. Camping gear too. A high end laptop computer, okay, if Sparkle can figure out how to work it she could get a lot of information. But two female business suits? Black shoe polish? We know she can alter clothing to suit her form, but what does she expect to do, walk into an office somewhere and get a job?"
He shook his head. "Until we have more information, all we can do is wait and see."
Dear Princess Celestia (and everypony else),
I am alright! By now your forensic mages should have worked out roughly what happened, if not where I was sent to. My interstellar clairvoyance system went horribly right, due to the after effects of a recently dissipated quantum singularity in the target system. It caused a massive thaumic backlash that created a metaphasic planar inversion, obviously after the fact. I've included the specifics in the form of arithmantic formulas which I have no doubt you, Princess Luna and a number of senior researchers at the university will find enlightening. For every-pony else, the basic idea that rather than bringing light from a distant star-system to me, the volume of space containing me was sent to the target star system should be easier to understand.
I landed on a habitable world, inhabited by humans, right out of the old filly-tales. Well not quite, while their knowledge of magic is nearly non-existent, their non magical technology is in advance of ours in many ways, though it has some odd lacunae. For example, they invented steam engines before the germ theory of disease, despite having invented lenses centuries earlier, and that's just one of the oddities. Their world is far more heavily populated and industrialised than ours and there are no other intelligent races on the planet. Or weren't. They were recently attacked by an alien race from another star, and barely defeated them after much strife, even killing.
This made my own position precarious, as they were predisposed to assume any non-human race was hostile. Hopefully I am working to change that point of view, but at this time, even if you manage to duplicate the interstellar teleportation effect, I would advise against sending any-pony else, even though this world needs help, not only to recover from the invasion, but from the damage that was being done by over-population, over-industrialisation and subsequent environmental damage. Without magic, recovering from that is far harder for them.
As this letter proves, I have managed to develop a way to send back messages, and will continue to report back my progress. Recreating the full transportation effect will require more effort and alchemically produced materials that do not exist here, due to the lack of magical knowledge. However, I believe I can duplicate the magical processes needed, and supply the power required due to the other surprising development. I was placed under conditions of great stress in the aftermath of my arrival, and in the process something similar happened to me as to Princess Cadence.
I was thinking of my friends, how I wanted to see them again, how I didn't want them to worry, how much they meant to me, and I felt a connection as if they were around me, supporting me. I believe that my link to the Elements of Harmony rather than the presence of Spectrum stone triggered my apotheosis into an alicorn. Suddenly some of the more puzzling aspects of the many tests you set for me make sense. You realised I had this potential, and did your best to develop it.
I intend to use my newfound powers to help heal this world, to show them that unlike the invaders, pony-kind can offer a helping hoof rather than stomping them into the mud. I miss my friends and family terribly, and include a number of personal letters for them with this one. You should be able to target return letters given the arithmantic information I included, and I hope to hear from them. I will do my best to come home soon, but even with my expanded powers, developing the necessary materials will take time, and in the mean time, there is another world that needs the magic of friendship to recover from what's happened to it. Out of all the unicorns in the world you chose me as your protégée, and it is time once again to demonstrate your faith was not misplaced.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle.
James Bearing, Solicitor at Law and owner of Bearing Legal Associates prepared for his first meeting of the day. From the phone call yesterday this should prove to be interesting. The client, one Twilight Sparkle, was having difficulty establishing her legal identity and needed legal advice on how to resolve things.
With a name like that, he could fill in the gaps. Obviously her parents had been New Agers in the 1990's or part of some other group who wanted as little to do with the rest of the world as possible. They'd had a child, (and the confirmation over the phone that she didn't have either a birth certificate or school records made him think dark thoughts about their suitability as parents) and now she was a young adult in her own right she was trying to break away from her parents' lifestyle.
Despite everything, she'd sounded both practical and educated which implied she'd done the remarkable task of teaching herself rather than relying on a school. That was impressive, and the fact that she'd wanted to keep the call short and that she had no number of her own suggested that she didn't have very much money. While he couldn't work pro bono (he had a payroll to meet after all) he decided to keep his fees to the minimum possible. The fact that she'd also had a nice voice had nothing to do with it.
After all this was the reason he'd taken up law in the first place, to help people since his poor maths skill meant he couldn't study how to build spaceships...
There was a scream from the outer office, and other noises of disturbance. He got up from behind his desk and strode over to the door, pulling it open. He wasn't prepared for the resulting view. Mrs Williams, his secretary, who up until today had been a pillar of adamantine steel against whom even the most furious or frantic antagonist had dashed themselves fruitlessly was scrabbling at her phone, which seemed glued to the desk with a faint purple glow. Of the two law students who worked for him part time, Alexis was similarly frozen while Jason was trying to open the main door which seemed similarly jammed.
But the centrepiece to this tableaux, and the probable cause, was the small purple unicorn... winged unicorn... who stood in the middle of the main office with a pained expression. The fact that she was wearing a women's business suit tailored to her form, complete with white blouse, neat blue cravat, sensible grey pleated skirt and even white leg stockings on her hind legs, was just a counterpoint to the general bizarreness. Either her hooves were naturally a glossy black, or she'd painted them somehow.
He cut off a meandering mental question as to who would sell pots of nail polish that big and tried to re-establish some vestige of long fled sanity. "What is going on here?"
The unicorn spoke in a voice he recognised. "My name is Twilight Sparkle. I made an appointment yesterday. I know I'm a few minutes early, but I didn't want to waste your valuable time. I'm also sorry if I startled people when I teleported in, but I didn't want to be seen entering the building for obvious reasons."
Mrs Williams finally recovered enough to speak. "But you're a... a..."
"Yes, I am an alien. That is point of fact the problem." She gave a weary sigh. "Look, in a few seconds I'm going to release the door and phones. At that point do what you will, call the police, the army, animal control, whatever! Just don't expect me to hang around after you do. I'm trying to avoid trouble, either causing it or being in the centre of it."
The glow faded and the door opened, while Mrs Williams found herself holding her phone. Twilight Sparkle lifted a hoof and made what seemed to be a 'go ahead' gesture.
Now that the initial panic had worn off, the various people seemed at something of a loss as to what to do, and slightly shame faced. Aliens stomping around blowing things up were something popular culture had prepared them for. Aliens trying to be friendly by flashing lights and playing brass instruments or even trying to make interstellar collect calls were in there too, but not so much since the recent unpleasantness. Aliens making appointments to see a lawyer was not.
James decided that he'd never forgive himself if he didn't find out what was going on and said, "I think it's best if everybody just continues what they're doing, while I talk to our visitor."
He stepped back and gestured for her to come into his private office.
39.3 (FanOfMostEverything)
Twilight Awoke in an endless sea of white. It was like being buried in clouds, except she couldn't even feel her own body. "Hello?" At least she could hear herself.
Hello, Twilight.
Twilight whipped her head back and forth. At least, she thought she did. The view didn't change any. "Who's there? What's going on? How do you know my name?"
I am the Anchor of this Loop. I know your name because it is my function to know such things. As for what is going on, that is rather more complicated.
Twilight took a deep breath and collected her thoughts. Okay, telepathic voice offering information. She'd be a fool not to listen. "Well, I'm not going anywhere."
This got a psychic chuckle. Indeed. You are currently a sort of living ideal. You have no true physical body, living instead in the minds of others.
"A memetic life form?"
As good an explanation as any.
After a moment of consideration, Twilight asked, "You said I was an ideal. An ideal what?"
An excellent question. You exist as the perfect leader, the soul of a nation, the guide to greatness.
"I've ruled nations many times, and I may be good at it, but I'm far from perfect."
We all have our faults. But even now, there is a tribe of hunter-gatherers who are discovering the link between seeds and plants, and they long for order, organization, and insight. They dream of you, Twilight.
She was starting to feel uncomfortable. "I don't want to be worshipped."
Nor should you. You are not a god. You are limited by your people's productivity, their happiness, their finances. But you can drive to them to heights of achievement that would otherwise be impossible. Their scientists will research what you deem worthy. Their armies will follow your every command. Their culture will be as you shape it.
Twilight floated in the void, silent, considering.
Or you could float here for a few millennia, until the end of the Loop.
"Well, when you put it that way…"
Excellent. Then I have but one more task to fulfill, as is my duty. The voice cleared its unseen throat, switching to audible speech.
"Greetings to you, Twilight Sparkle, youngest of the ageless alicorns and Anchor of your Loop. Yours are a kind and loving people, united by the six founders of Equestria and led for centuries of prosperity by the diarchs Celestia and Luna. Bearers of the Element of Harmony, you and your friends defeated numerous threats to Equestria's stability, and in AN 1002, you completed Star Swirl the Bearded's unfinished spell and were crowned the newest Princess of that magical land.
"Twilight, a new people calls to you, eager for your guidance. This is a world where the only magic lies in the mind, but as you well know, that is a mighty power indeed. Princess, will you teach them to harness it? Can you build a civilization that will stand the test of time?"
The Equestrian Empire
Love of Learning: +25% Science production during Golden Ages. Academy Science yield increased by 1.
Befriender: Replaces Pikemen. Same stats, small chance to recruit defeated units, chance doubled for mounted units.
Golden Oak: Replaces Library. Same stats, also provides +2 Happiness.
39.4 (Masterweaver)
"Macintosh?!" Twilight cried in astonishment. "What are you doing here?!"
"Ah don't rightly know," the red pony replied with a shrug. "Most loops Ah just Awaken on tha... farm..."
Another shrug.
"Twilight, why do Ah have wings?"
The princess of magic sighed, tapping Macintosh's horn. "Because you're an alicorn. This is a sister loop--did you ascend without me knowing about it? Like, in a fused loop or anything?"
"Eeeenope." The red pony watched as an umbrella lashed a licorice whip and rode by on end table made of felt. "So... this is tha Discordian era?"
"Yeah, it is, we're Celestia and Luna – I'm sorry, I just... usually this only happens AFTER a pony becomes an alicorn on their own." Twilight narrowed her eyes. "Are you absolutely one hundred percent sure...?"
"Twilight, Ah've been nothing but an ordinary earth pony afore this... cept when Ah was a human. Ah'm as clueless as ya'll."
The lavender mare let out a growling sigh. "We'll figure it out later, then. So, since this is your first sister loop--well, I guess it's a sibling loop, cause--"
"Er..." Macintosh blushed, fidgeting a bit. "No, no, it's... it's a sister loop."
Twilight blinked. "Oh. Huh."
She blinked again. "OH! Oh this is the first time you've been genderbent while Awake! Oh, yeah, okay, that could be awkward."
"...'while Awake?'"
"Yeeeeeeah, genderbending happens pretty often. There's around a two percent chance you'll wake up and, POOF!" Twilight chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Nothing to worry about, we've all been through it. And hey, you're still pretty big!" She shook her head. "Anyway, we need to distribute the Elements between us now--"
"Wait, AJ's been a stallion?"
"Mac." Twilight spread the necklaces, although she put the tiara on her own head. "Elements."
The red pony shook her head. "Right, right. Sorry. Has Apple Bloom--?"
"El. Eh. Mints."
Macintosh nodded. "Um.... Ah think, since Ah'm AJ's brother, ah should have--"
Instantly Twilight's hoof lashed out, pulling the orange necklace away. "Nuh-uh, not after hiding for who knows how many loops. Here, take Kindness instead."
The former stallion eyed the pink butterfly warily for a moment. Then, with a shrug, she put it around her neck; might as well go full scale with this. "Ah think Ah'll take Loyalty too."
Twilight stared as she wrapped the red lightning bolt around her thick ankle. "....I am so jealous of you right now."
"What?"
"Nothing." Twilight coughed. "So, um... Generosity for you, then? And I'll take Laughter... I'm going to need to teach you how to use these, aren't I?"
39.5 (Leonite, FanOfMostEverything)
Yugi smiled as he leaned back, his arms behind his head. "So yeah... that's pretty much the basics of the game and this loop." He explained. Before him was a young red haired girl with an excited gleam in her eye and energy to burn. "I'm surprised Twilight didn't explain this, she really seems to enjoy her loops here."
The red haired girl simply grinned. "Ah'm more excited at the tech being used for all this. Your sayin' that y'all have holographic tech despite bein' a baseline human world?" She asked, playing down a face down card. Bloom Wheeler, or as Yugi had guessed earlier in the day, Apple Bloom, had replaced Serenity Wheeler for this loop. She had also proceeded to heal her eyesight in ways that not only had the doctors baffled but both Yugi and Joey knowing that she cheated, given that her own words to them when asked were: "Ah'm not missin out on a single moment in this loop!"
"Sorta. It's all being used for the purposes of enhancing Duel Monsters at the moment." Yugi stated, even as he flipped up a trap to counter her.
"Wait, so advanced tech is being used for the sole purpose of-"
"Yes, we've heard that reaction before." Yugi interrupted with a nervous chuckle. Not entirely good memories in those loops. "Still, with a few nudges, it gets picked up fast by pretty much everyone." He added, drawing a card and playing down Blackland Fire Dragon. The loop was still early, after all he hadn't even faced Kaiba yet and so still had his old deck. "I attack."
Bloom grunted, even as she mentally calculated. "Right... then lets see if ah can do this." She stated, drawing a card... and grinning. "Ah win."
Yugi blinked. "What?"
"Ah win. I drew Apple-Xodia." Bloom stated with a cheeky grin, flipping the cards around, to show each looked like an equine version of Exodia on an apple background.
Yugi blinked... then grinned, even as golden light surrounded him. While he looked slightly taller and with a more serious look, Bloom could tell by his attitude that this wasn't the same Yugi. "Well done, it takes a lot to get such blatant cheating past my partner." Atem commented.
"Cheatin'? Ah see no cheatin' here, I won it fair an' square." Bloom remarked as she retained the same grin.
Atem just grinned. "Just don't try it with the holograms, these cards have microchips in them for recognition and the Duel Disks especially can detect cheating" He pointed out. He gathered up his cards into the deck and shuffled, Bloom doing the same. "Now, if you want cheating, let me tell you the time I turned one of Kaiba's biggest monsters against him."
They began again. Then Bloom laid down a spell card on her first turn, and Yugi's face met the desk. "Honestly, Bloom..."
"What? Ain't nothin' wrong with the card, 'cept Ah'm gonna win next turn."
"Test of Endurance isn't even from Duel Monsters!"
"Pfft. Details."
39.6 (misterq)
Three hours after he was supposed to be there, Kakashi opened the door in the classroom to take a closer look at his new team, provided they wouldn't fail his test. Three kunoichis together on a team wasn't very common, but it had happened before.
What worried the jonin was that the pink-haired girl was excitingly pumping her hands up and down close to her body while chanting 'Ninja party! Ninja party!'; while across from her, the blue-haired girl was doing the same thing, except chanting 'Explosive tags! Explosive tags!'.
Between them, the blond girl was staring at nothing in particular and occasionally shivering, as if anticipating some horrible future calamity.
"Hello, my cute little students. My first impression of you..," Kakashi managed to say before being cut off by a pink blur that resolved itself into a girl, standing on a chair, whose face was only half an inch away from his own.
"Are you our new sensei? Oh, what's your speciality? Do you like parties? Do you know how to make seals? They seem like a fun thing to learn. Do you wear that mask because you have horrible breath? I like balloons! Do you think I can make a taijutsu style based on that?" Words poured from her mouth in a never-ending stream.
Kakashi placed a hand over the girl's mouth to get a moment's reprieve, "I think I hate you all."
The blond girl snorted in amusement, "Have a nice how do you do to you, as well. Welcome to team seapony diplomacy. Let's hope we all survive."
"Survive? You won't be taking on hazardous missions until you pass training," Kakashi said.
"I was speaking of training," the blond girl said, adding, "The name's Applejack. The pink thing licking the inside of your hand is Pinkie Pie. The one drawing explosive tag runes on everything is Trixie. Please take care of us and may whatever kami you worship have mercy on your soul."
Kakashi sweat-dropped and pulled his now moist hand away from the grinning girl's mouth.
The next day at the training ground, Kakashi strode up to his new potential students. Applejack had made herself a small bunker using what looked like freshly uprooted trees. Pinkie Pie was running around arms outstretched, and making zoom-zoom noises. Trixie was reading a book on the sealing arts that Kakashi could have sworn was only available to ANBU members.
This just cemented his planned course of action to fail this team and wait another year until the fourth's son and the last Uchiha graduated.
One explanation of the test later, Kakashi was finishing up, "All you have to do to be one of the two that pass is get one of these bells from me before noon. Starting now. Any questions?"
Pinkie Pie raised her hand, "Do you mean these bells?"
She raised her other arm which was holding two very familiar bells.
Kakashi blinked, then looked down at his belt. His bells were gone. "What? How did..?"
He looked up to see Pinkie Pie now holding a very familiar book.
"Ooh, what's this story about?"
"That's not for children!" Kakashi shunshined and grabbed his book before Pinkie could read any of it.
"Yes! Stand right there," Trixie exclaimed, "I have no idea how sensitive my new motion detecting explosive tag is. That's why I made hundreds of them. I didn't have enough paper, so I used leaves."
Kakashi stood very still. His well developed danger sense was suddenly screaming at him. He looked downward, and yes, he was standing on a pile of seal-inscribed leaves.
"Oh, you said whoever gets the bells, passes, right?" Pinkie exclaimed, "So here you go, you two."
She gave one bell to each of her team mates. "I got the bells first, so I passed. Now you two have the bells so you pass! We all pass!"
"That's not how it works," Kakashi said.
"Sure it does!" the pink-haired girl chirped, "I even knew you were going to be busy so I forged your name on all the correct papers. We're a team now, so you have to get ready for the 'Kakashi passed a team' party. It's in your apartment, sensei. I've already invited all of your friends."
Applejack casually lifted one of the enormous trees in her impromptu fort and walked out, waving, "Thanks for the test. I mean, it'll be good to have one normal person on this team, right?"
Trixie waved also as she walked away, adding, "No sudden movements, unless you want to let me know what the blast radius is."
Kakashi waited until the girls were no longer in sight, before sighing sadly, "This is my life now. But with those skills; if I'm lucky, I can get them to chunin before the year is out."
A stray leaf fell from a nearby tree and drifted passed, only slightly brushing the jonin's nose.
Kakashi sneezed.
As he noticed all the leaves around him were now armed and glowing angrily, his last thought before waking up in the hospital was, 'Under no circumstances should that Trixie ever, ever meet Deidara.'
Far off in the Land of Tea, Twilight put down her book as she heard a large explosion in the distance. She looked up at her mentor, Celestia, who was currently taking Tsunade's place in this loop, "So who do you think that was? Trixie? Pinkie Pie? The Crusaders? They're all awake this loop."
Tsunade thought about it before shrugging, "Who knows. I'm sure we'll find out shortly. I think I'm just going to take my winnings and try every one of the different teas they have here. So many blends. So many."
Twilight just sighed in exasperation and went back to reading her book of advanced medical jutsus.
Meanwhile back at the academy, several voices rang out in unison, "We're going to be the most famous super awesome ninja ever! Go Ninja Sage Crusaders!"
"Dattebayo!" one of the young voices added.
39.7 (FanOfMostEverything)
Smart Cookie found life with Apple Bloom oddly familiar. Once again, she was the advisor of a mare with far more brilliance than common sense, and so her duty was to sort the good ideas from the bad. And, as with Puddinghead, Cookie was frequently rebuffed, if not outright ignored.
Of course, that didn't mean she was going to stop trying. "Before we begin," she said to the clubhouse at large, "I would like to say once again that this is a monumentally bad idea. I would say it's right up there with that time the chancellor wanted to put us on the potato standard."
"Weren't potatoes discovered after the Exodus?" noted Clover.
"Yes. They were. Parliament was complaining about inflation, so Puddinghead made up the word one day and said that since it didn't exist at all, it was an even better choice than gold. That is how bad this idea is, and you're being serious."
Before the assembled Crusaders and Devices could consider this further, Apple Bloom waved a hoof dismissively. "Aw, c'mon, Cookie, quit exaggeratin'. Ain't that bad. B'sides, yer scarin' 'em."
"Well, you're scaring me."
"What is your idea, Apple Bloom?" asked Sweetie Belle. She wanted more information before she decided whether or not to be scared.
"It's real simple," Bloom began. "See, we've all gotten our cutie marks b'fore, but they never stuck. But there is somethin' that sticks from Loop t' Loop once y' pull it off."
"Subspace pockets?" guessed Sweetie.
"Cool tricks from other universes?" tried Scootaloo.
Apple Bloom shook her head. "Ascension."
At first, the other Crusaders just boggled at her. That didn't last very long. "WHAT!?"
The earth filly just smiled. "Way Ah figure it, anythin' that earns ya yer wings or horn or both has gotta be worth a permanent cutie mark!"
Sweetie Belle squirmed. "Isn't that, well… drastic?"
Apple Bloom shrugged. "Gotta be, if it's gonna last through th' universe resettin' itself."
"Wouldn't we need something like the Elements of Harmony, though?" Scootaloo thought back to the story of Rainbow Dash's ascension. "Plus, we'd need to do something that isn't just super-ultra-extreme-awesomazing, but related to our special talents."
"Exactly!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "That's why it oughtta work in th' first place."
"Did you have feats in mind?" asked Clover.
"Well, Sweetie's easy. Just gotta get 'er to start a big-enough heart-song."
The unicorn in question frowned. "How big is 'big enough'?"
Apple Bloom shrugged. "I dunno. All o' Equestria?"
"All of…" Sweetie's mouth flapped silently as the very idea dropped stage fright on her like a ton of bricks.
"Don' know which song'd work fer that, though," Bloom admitted. "Figured y' might have some ideas, Sweetie."
The pale filly had frozen in place at this point. She tipped over onto her side, totally stiff and unmoving.
Scootaloo poked her. No reaction. "Um, what did you have in mind for me, Apple Bloom?"
"Less sure in yer case, Scoots. Somethin' like that time with the weather-magic Blackbird might work, but it might not be enough. Maybe go 'round the world without flappin' yer wings?"
"Without…" Scootaloo didn't lock up. She did jump to her hooves, wings flared. "Do you know how ridiculous that is?"
"Well, Ah've hardly ever been a pegasus, so… nope!" Apple Bloom smiled and shrugged. "Ain't s'pposed t' be easy, Scoots. Otherwise, there'd be a lot more alicorns."
"All right, Miss Not-Supposed-To-Be-Easy. What about you?"
Bloom scowled. "That's th' thing. Ah can't think of a darn thing fer me. Ah thought maybe inventin' the Internet, but just gettin' Equestria up t' that point o' technological advancement'd prob'ly take longer'n one Loop."
Scootaloo settled back down and smirked. "Seems perfect to me."
"Ah guess, but… I dunno. It don't feel right."
"Does any part of this fool's errand?" asked Smart Cookie.
Sweetie shuddered and picked herself up off the floor. "Um, maybe we should come up with ideas for one another?"
The other fillies considered this, nodding almost in sync. "Meet back in a week?" Scootaloo proposed.
"A moment, please," said Cookie. "Pansy, Clover, please tell me you aren't actually encouraging them."
"We're necklaces," noted Pansy. "It's not like we can stop them."
"And the concept is actually quite fascinating," Clover added. "Applied apotheosis? Especially that of an unmarked filly? I'm composing a theoretical framework as we speak."
"Fine, then. Enjoy your folly, girls. If anypony wishes to be sane, you know where to find me."
Apple Bloom grinned. "Well, you heard 'er, girls. See y'all next week."
The three fillies brought raised forehooves together. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER ALICORNS! YAY!"
39.8
“Is everything ready?” Trixie asked, lifting the cannister.
“Eeyup,” Mac replied, pushing the final lever down.
“Very good!” Trixie said. “In just a few moments, we will begin!”
They looked appreciatively at the complex web of piping.
“Still think it'll be better as a drink than as a propellant?” Trixie asked, challenge in her voice.
“Yep,” Mac answered. “Fer dragons, at least.”
“Ten bits on it,” Trixie suggested.
“Done.”
They shook hooves.
Trixie then flipped a switch with her telekinesis. “Three, two, one-”
“And what do you have to say for yourselves?” Twilight asked, wings still ruffled.
“I will not apologize for science!” Trixie said defiantly.
“What on Equestria were you two thinking?” Twilight shook her head. “You actually tried to dissolve FOOF in Chlorine Triflouride?”
She looked over her shoulder at the ruins, still sullenly glowing with remnant heat. “I had to drop half the lake and fifty tonnes of sand on it, and it even set fire to that until it ran out of liquid...”
“Why didn't you enclose it in a vacuum bubble?” Trixie asked. “That usually stops fires.”
“Trixie.” Twilight slammed a hoof on the floor. “I don't know if you noticed, but CTF is an oxidizer. And so is FOOF. They don't need air. And since FOOF is a gas, the most I'd be able to do is send the stuff flying all over the place.”
She flared her wings as some of the smell came near them. “Ick. And I hope you'll notice I had to Ascend to handle it, so now I need to come up with an excuse for that as well. What were you trying to make, anyway?”
“Well,” Mac drawled, “Ah thought it'd make a good carbonated-type of beverage fer dragons, and Trixie thought it'd be the ideal rocket fuel.”
Twilight facehoofed.