//------------------------------// // Chapter Two: Lord Discord // Story: An Investigation Into Chaos // by Forgoten Null //------------------------------// You know, it really is funny how some things seem to work out perfectly. Celestia would probably say its fate and those things are destined to turn out as they do, though that just seems so dreadfully boring… Imagine a world where everything is predetermined and where everything is set from the start, a universe where everything you do leads up to a singular moment some indeterminate time in the future. You don’t have a choice in it, perhaps you might alter the event’s in-between but the final result is set in stone. Now imagine a completely different world, one where every single choice you make forever changes your future. Imagine a world where every step you take is a step in a new direction, towards the some new destination that you decide. Whether you realize it or not… Or perhaps that’s fate? Either way it’s interesting to wonder how things might have turned out if just one little thing was left out of place. What would have happened if just one thing had been changed? For example, when Celestia asked me to research the “Sociopolitical Instabilities in Canterlot” I really didn’t think much of it. I honestly still don’t know what she expected me to do really; did she think that I would just be able to sniff out the cracks in the system like some chaotic bloodhound? Either way, reading through hundreds of taxation and requisition forms or going door to door doing audits sounded about as much fun as watching an ocean dry up drop by drop… So, of course, I improvised. I put my ear to the ground to try to find out exactly what was going on in Canterlot. It wasn't terribly difficult to squeeze my way behind the closed doors of the eternally double booked cocktail lounges and exceedingly “private” resorts and once I was there I found the real magic in Canterlot. Everypony in Equestria will talk your ears off about the “Magic of Harmony” and the “Purity or the Crown” but it turns out that what really matters is what they don't talk about in polite company. If didn’t take me long to find out that every high society party was a masquerade ball, with all the players hiding behind masks of philanthropy and altruism daring their fellows to call out the monsters hiding behind their masks. I found out that every dinner party was really a murder mystery of which duke stabbed which heiress to gain her family fortune and how long would it be before she dumped him for the next one. The intrigue never stopped. Every funeral was a promotion. Every birthday was a hazing. Every marriage was a corporate merger and every divorce was a battle royal. Every birth was a bidding war. Every election was a whose who popularity contest. The list went on and on, until I decided to get off the ride. Then the real fun started. The moment I decided to mention that there was an inspector, on the royal dime, hiding amongst them, the party would go on as normal but chill whispers would choke all the warmth from the room. It was foal's play. First I would jaunt merrily around the room, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and find my mark. After that all I had to do was to follow them the after party meetings and wait for the doors to shut firmly closed behind us. Some of them were honest, I respected that, they talked with no fear of reprisal and stuck to their twisted morals. There were even those who had the gall to ask me for assistance, of course they understood that I wasn't a free agent. “I don't know,” I would say doubtfully, “that sounds like it could cause a lot of trouble. I’m sure Celestia wouldn’t approve of it.” “If I were to accept your terms,” I would muse aloud, “I would have to get an explicit statement that you understand that I’m not doing it for you but in light of my own interests.” “Oh of course I wouldn't mind getting that in writing,” I would insist, “in fact why don’t you draw up a copy for me to keep so I can uphold my end of the bargain without fail.” I might have respected their honesty, though the same could not be said about their intellect. Hadn't they heard of my reform? Honestly it’s almost as if they believed me to be the same old double cross I was before! Of course, too bad for all of them I was. Just not in the direction they were hoping for... Some of them were sickeningly clever. They would never talk about themselves or their own stake in the game but would drop hints and the juiciest gossip about everyone they knew, just daring someone to lock them away. Then all I would have to do is to go to the next room and get the same story from their partner and both of their fates would be sealed. That’s the problem with sleeping with a knife under your pillow, it means everyone you sleep with has one too... Then there were the worst of the worst. The ones that would strut about with all the swagger of a Minotaur bull, walking around like they owned the place, and without a single care in the world. I enjoyed watching their façade slowly crumble when I gave them little hints about what I really knew. It was almost pitiable how they would break down when they realized that I knew every little secret that they had shoved in the back of their closet. Almost… It would be if it weren't so disgusting. A thousand years of independence and some Ponies still haven’t figured out how to grow a backbone. At the end of it all I had quite the list, nepotism, greed, cronyism, bribery, blackmail, embezzlement, fraud, forgery, the odd political assassination and all the other unmentionable colors of the rainbow; you name it and I found it gathering dust in sompony’s attic. Of course none of it had any effect on the average citizen of Canterlot and greater Equestria; I could probably build a bridge to the moon and back and it would still be smaller than the gap between your everyday street Pony and any member of “high society.” It’s not exactly something to write home to your mother about but I expect that Celestia will find it interesting enough. I have to admit that it is intriguing how much corruption can be floating around in these circles without having any demonstrable impact on the rest of the Empire. It’s like part of the Empire has been at war with itself for the last few centuries and no one has really noticed. That’s not to say that it isn't a risk of an imminent collapse, these are changing times and just because something has worked for hundreds of years doesn't mean it will survive the next decade. Apparently in the last half century the public has begun to develop a system of free press, one that reports first and asks questions later. In itself is a sign of progress and an increasing autonomy from the Ponies, which would normally be a good thing. Though imagine if you will what the public reaction would be to what goes on behind the closed doors of their precious nobility. There would be scandal, they would be outraged, the masses would clog the streets in protest, and they would demand “justice” and “change.” That wouldn’t happen though; the Equestrian legal system is an utter joke, the whole lot of them probably couldn’t change a light bulb if their lives depended on it. The Equestrian legal system doesn't seem to have any real legislative or executive authority; the best they can do is squint at laws written a thousand years ago and send the guard to enforce them verbatim. Let me just say that that some of the older methods of law enforcement are not for the faint of heart. At this point Canterlot is nothing more than just a pretty little powder keg, sitting patiently on the side of a mountain, waiting for some poor fool to light a match. I’m surprised that Celestia hasn't seen this coming, then again I should know how easy it is to be blindsided when everyone else thinks you're some kind of god. There really isn't much that one could do about it, either you try to muzzle the press or you try to beef up your legislature to deal with the inevitable fallout. Well there are other options, but I don't see Celestia as the kind of ruler to sing campfire songs while her capital burns. A crying shame really, I do love s'mores myself. The sensible thing to do would have been to write a full report and deliver it to her highness as soon as possible. That probably what I should have done at any rate. It’s amazing what kind of authority I have with this whole “Investigator for the Crown” thing. When Celestia told me that I would have full access to The Royal Archives I didn't think much of it, but that was before I found out about The Repository. Just imagine a veritable castle full of official records and documents, stretching back nearly a thousand years, all at my disposal. Not only that but I had the authority to arrange a meeting with anypony or inspect any grounds I saw fit for the purposes of my “investigation.” It was just too good of an opportunity, to let it slip through my claws for something as trivial as punctuality would be petty. Besides I have the opportunity to solve what might be the conspiracy of the century! So I spent a few days combing through the Canterlot Archives, specifically the section detailing events in the castle. Apparently there was a rather prestigious art auction here about twenty years ago. It was an extravagant affair and was attended by all of the aristocracy, including two brothers. Now it should be known their father had died in a tragic accident involving falling masonry; he had written no will so naturally the brothers quarreled over who would inherit the family fortune. Really it’s not that unusual to have feuds and infighting among families and of course they are all experts at keeping such matters “in house” no matter how much they might want to throttle each other, the auction itself went off without a hitch. Though of course, there was a reception in the Castle Gardens. And of course it had an open bar. The rest went about as one would expect it to, both of the brothers drank themselves stupid with the misguided hope that the other might be easier to tolerate with a handicap. After a few dozen glasses, the thinly veiled insults turned into a full on shouting match. It might have ended there but, of course, one shoved the other and a full on brawl ensued. The elder of the two eventually managed to pin the other against one of the garden statues. The younger brother in his struggle to free himself managed to land a lucky blow and knocked his brother out cold, his unconscious form proceeded to fall in such a way that it trapped his brother underneath him. The report said that at this point the statue they had slammed onto had been knocked in just such a way that it fell on them, crushing them both in an instant. So the story goes anyway. It’s funny how things work out, the tyrant “famous” for crushing rebellions underhoof crushes two ponies while trapped in stone. It’s a real shame I can’t remember that, I would think it would be a novel experience. Isn't it interesting how an innocent argument among schoolfoals could be Chaotic enough to free me but a fraternal fight to the death didn’t even cause so much as a crack on my perfectly sculpted visage. It appears that Chaos and Disharmony alone were not enough to free me from my prison; before I had suspicion but now I have undeniable proof. Emboldened, I decided to use my near limitless authority to set up a private meeting with one of the most important Ponies in Canterlot. “Hello, Luna,” I said as I grinned at her like a demon, we sat shrouded in the darkness of the forgotten chamber. “Do you have any idea why I’ve called you here today?” With this our little game began and I placed the ball squarely in her court. “Well met, Discord.” She said with a meter that gave me an unpleasant twinge of nostalgia. “I heard tell that you have been charged by my sister to investigate the goings on in Canterlot.” She spoke with a perfect mask of calmness and officiality. “I would assume that we are here to speak of my work.” It's common knowledge that Luna preferred to work behind the scenes of the empire, allowing her sister to deal with public functions while she dealt with the bulk of the forms and paper work. Paper doesn’t care about your past. “Yes,” I let myself relax a bit as I showed her a bit of a winning smile, “I was wondering if you noticed anything untoward since your return.” I noticed her lean in towards me and tilt her head just enough to signify that I had her ear in the conversation. “Anything really, falsified documents, forged signatures, that sort of thing.” If she wanted to beat around the bush I was more than happy to oblige. She brought the tip of a hoof to her chin thoughtfully before bringing it down across her chest. “I can’t say that I have seen anything obviously of the sort,” she said “That said, I do see a bit of suspect material, accounts that open and close at seemingly random intervals and charges that don’t clear when they should.” She looked me in the eyes and continued. “Some things are easily passed off as coincidence but it’s obvious that there is more it things than meets the eye.” I brought my claws together to form a temple and leaned forward. “Really now,” I asked playfully, “do tell.” I brought a claw down to the table and started to worry a small circle into the dark wooden table. “Why are we really here, Discord?” Luna said callously. My grin widened at the accusation. “I haven’t the slightest clue what you’re talking about. I thought we were talking about corruption, are you implying I brought you here under false pretenses,” she leered at me coldly as I baited her, “or did you have something else in mind.” “Why did you bring me here, to this room?” Her voice trailed off momentarily as she looked around the dark enclosure. “You know as well as I do that this section of the Castle has been sealed off for centuries, why here of all places?” “Dearest Luna, whatever is the matter? Is something wrong with the decor? I suppose I haven’t cleaned up in a while have I?” I looked around the room for a moment before putting on a face of mock surprise. “Oh goodness me, how could I forget? This is the room where you and your sister cursed me to a torturous oblivion, trapped in stone for a thousand years, isn’t it.” I addressed her with all the false sincerity I could muster. “I’m honestly surprised you two haven’t redecorated since then.” I casually extended my will and tore an old banner off the wall, the familiar crimson and tangerine insignia taking me back to simpler times. It was almost eerie how little it had changed in a thousand years had, all it would take would be a good scrubbing, maybe a new banner, and the throne room would be as good as new. “You weren't the only one.” “I’m sorry dear, I didn’t quite catch that, I’m afraid you will have to speak up.” I was thoroughly enjoying the rise I was getting out of her at this point. I put a paw to my ear and leaned in closer to hear her properly. “You weren’t the only one who was trapped for a thousand years, Discord!” The displeasure evident in her voice was matched only by the ferocity etched onto her face. “Everything I had held dear was obliterated through eons while I slept in bondage. Why must you torture me with remembrances of the past?” At this I put on a concerned front. “Oh yes, “The Nightmare Moon Rebellion” where your own sister banished you to the moon,” I shook my head, “a real shame that. At least your captor afforded you the luxury of rest when she locked you away. Tell me how long did it take you to figure out that I was awake in that little prison you forced me into? When exactly did you figure out that you had consigned me to an eternity of waking hell.” At this she looked away from me visibly shaken. “I’m sorry…” “What was that?” I asked, genuinely confused. “I’m sorry, Lord Discord,” when she turned to face me her muzzle was slick with fresh tears “we found out a few weeks after we took the throne. We didn’t intend to harm you, just to remove you for a while. When we found out that you were still conscious we agreed that we would release you when we had stabilized the nation.” She looked away from me again. “But then I had my “episode” and Celestia said was afraid to release you alone…” Her confession gave me pause; I patiently waited for her to continue. “When I returned, I had assumed that Celestia would have released you long ago, I didn’t bring up the issue to her. But then when you escaped I was devastated, I demanded that she release you immediately… However, she thought it would be too dangerous, that you would try to seek revenge again.” She looked me in the eyes once more and I could see the tears threating to burst out of them. “Then one day she released you without even asking me about it. I’m so sorry Discord.” I took a few moments to properly compose myself and to think about what she said. “You mean to say that she never told you why she released me?” Luna shook her head, sobbing quietly. I stood up and silently glided over to her wracked from. “There, there,” I said softly, “all is forgiven, it will be alright.” I cooed softly in a pitiable attempt to comfort her, she turned and embraced me still sobbing. “I’m sorry, Lord Discord. I’m so sorry.” It took a while but eventually she managed to calm herself down. We took a bit of time to talk about the true nature of my release; she truly didn’t know why her sister had decided to release me. This news only served to deepen my concerns about my new found freedom. She insisted that she could assist me in some way despite my insistence that I was perfectly fine on my own. She decided to grant me a parcel of land to myself, a place where I would not be bothered. It is a nice section of land, the forest directly beneath Canterlot. It even comes with a title. I decided it would be in poor taste to reject such a generous offer. So once again I will be known across the land as Lord Discord, although perhaps this time on more honest pretenses. It really is funny how things work out.