AUTHOR'S WARNING: The following chapter contains a scene that may be a 'trigger' for people who have been in abusive homes. It is written from the perspective of a young child, which apparently may make it worse or better depending on the reader's experiences. I sincerely apologize to any whom this offends or hurts.
If you wish to read the chapter but want to avoid the scene, simply skip down to the Author's Note (or stop reading) at the point with the five dots. Again, my apologies.
Pipsqueak was looking at Pip. Pip was looking at Pipsqueak. Twilight was splitting her gaze between them, hoping desperately that none would do something to spook the others.
When nopony moved for half a minute (in which time, to Twilight’s relief, the mood of the meeting appeared to have driven the shopping ponies away), the unicorn took a breath.
Okay, Twilight, you have plans for this, not precisely like this but still, we just need to manoeuvre-
“Hello, mister.”
“Hello, Pipsqueak.”
-okay, okay, this can work, just need to pull Pip away somewhat, keep-
“Oh, you know my name?”
“Yes. Did your parents not inform you of the dangers of talking to strangers?”
“Yeah, but you’re with Miss Twilight and I know that she’s not bad, so you can’t be bad either or else she would have made you go away.”
“A logical position.”
-going, good, just wait for a lull like this and-
“Are you me?”
“Yes.”
Twilight swore that she could hear glass shattering somewhere. She also swore verbally. Neither Pip nor Pipsqueak appeared to notice.
“You’re older than me, though.”
“To the best of my knowledge, I am fifteen years old.”
“So you’re from the future, then?”
“In a sense, yes.”
Pipsqueak grinned. “Neat! I didn’t know earth ponies could time travel, I thought that that was a unicorn spell.”
“An alicorn cast the spell, which I then utilized to arrive in this time.”
“An alicorn? Like Princess Luna?”
“Not a princess, but ‘like’ her in that she was a unification of the three tribes, yes.”
“Wait!” Twilight finally managed to speak. Both Pip and Pipsqueak looked at her. “Pip, you- er, Pipsqueak, you’re-“
“Is something amiss, Milady?”
“Yeah, is something wrong, Miss Twilight?”
Twilight’s brain began feeling hot. “You… Pipsqueak, you don’t find it weird that you’re talking to… you?”
Pipsqueak’s brow furrowed. “You time travelled before. Didn’t you talk to yourself?”
“Well, yes, but…” Twilight brought a hoof to her head; the throbbing pain beneath her horn had returned. “I didn’t think that you’d be so, so comfortable with it, I guess.”
“Should I be uncomfortable? Old Pip isn’t a bad guy, is he?”
“Er, I don’t-”
Killed Luna guards loyalists Scootaloo Revolution hurt zebras gryphons camps
Forced brainwashed ignorant thought good doesn’t understand exploited just a foal
“-he’s done some… bad things, but I don’t…” Twilight winced. “I don’t think he’s a ‘bad guy’.”
Pip raised a hoof, brushing Twilight’s bangs away from her face to try to look her in the eye. “Are you ill, Milady?”
Twilight touched his hoof, gently lowering it. “I’m… I’m fine, Pip, just a headache. Don’t worry about it.”
“As you say, Milady.” Pip blinked. “I apologize for any stress I may have caused you; I was unsure of my destination until I arrived here.”
“It’s fine, Pip…” Twilight looked at the younger colt. “Pipsqueak, Pip being from the future… it’s a secret, okay? You can’t tell anypony, not even your parents.”
“Does Princess Luna know?”
“Well, yes, but very few others do. Can you promise that you won’t tell anypony?”
Pipsqueak blinked, but nodded. “Yeah, of course, Miss Twilight. But I still don’t really get what’s wrong…”
“I believe that Her Ladyship is surprised at your lack of concern for the fact that we are the same pony.”
“Her Ladyship? You mean Miss Twilight?” Pip nodded. Pipsqueak blinked, glancing at the mare. “Um, Miss Twilight, if Old Pip isn’t a bad pony and stuff, then why would I be worried?”
Twilight silently cursed. “It’s… complicated. When I was thinking of you two meeting, I was kind of expecting you to get freaked out about the fact that you and him are the same pony.”
“Well, I’m kinda curious why Old Pip’s wearing the eyepatch.”
“A pony named Broken Shield threw a rock into my eye with enough force to destroy it.” Twilight gave a small groan, but neither pony reacted.
“Why’d he do that?”
“He and I have-“
Twilight clapped a hoof over Pip’s mouth. “Pip, hold on. Pipsqueak, there’s some things about Pip and the future that we really can’t tell you.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, it’s just that…” Twilight shook her head. “There are some things that happen-“
“Is it that if I learn about the stuff that happens in the future it could make the future go all weird so that earth ponies can fly but pegasi can’t or ponies sleep in the daytime or the Princesses can move like mages in chess?”
“…kiiiiind of…” Twilight answered. “It’s more that if somepony overhears us, it could turn out bad. I need to talk to the Princesses before we start telling more ponies about Pip.”
“Okay.” Pipsqueak turned, glancing at the door. “Mom wanted me to go get something, I’d better hurry. G’bye!” The colt hurried off, leaving Twilight and Pip there staring after him. Twilight sighed.
“Well, that didn’t go bad.”
Then she turned around and was suddenly faced with three young fillies, all of whom were staring, bug-eyed, at Pip.
Three fillies who had been standing behind them the entire time.
Three fillies who had heard everything.
Twilight’s evaluation of the situation rapidly declined.
“So what did they hear” was the first phrase out of Applejack’s mouth as she, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash walked into the library. Twilight had dispatched Pip to gather them, and she, with Spike’s help, had herded the CMC back to the library before they made a public scene. Twilight took a breath.
“They know about Pip being from the future, and that Broken was the pony that took out his eye.” A corner of Twilight’s mouth drew back. “And that Pip and Pipsqueak are the same pony. Pipsqueak knows about all of this too, but Princess Luna sent a letter back saying that she’d handle him.”
Applejack sighed. “Well, ain’t as bad as it could be…” She flicked a glare at Pip. “Y’should probably get a leash for him, though. Or have him warn ya when he’s gonna do somethin’ like this.”
“Again, I apologize for any inconvenience that I have caused. I was unaware of where I was going until I reached the location, and before I could extricate myself Pipsqueak had left the building and seen me.”
“B’fore y’could extricate yerself? You, the stallion that can run fast enough yer practically teleportin’, couldn’t move fast enough to get away?”
“Yes. For reasons beyond my comprehension, I was unable to flee the location. My hooves refused to step in any direction except towards the building.”
Applejack affixed the stallion with a decidedly unimpressed look, but didn’t continue on that line. “So wha’d’ya think we should do with ‘em?”
“That’s up to you. I didn’t want to tell them anything that you weren’t okay with them hearing.” The three mares opposite Twilight glanced at each other.
“I’m cool with Scoots getting the whole thing.” Rainbow said.
“They should hear the story, but perhaps not the adult aspects? The details of the violence, the camps…” Rarity glanced at Pip. “…the more vile occurrences?”
“Ah’m with Rarity. If they’re gonna get it, they ain’t getting nightmares from it.” Applejack said. Twilight nodded.
“Spike, go grab the notes.”
“So you’re from the future?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re Pipsqueak from the future?”
“Yes.”
“And Broken Shield is Twilight’s brother from the future?”
“Yes.”
“And Rising Dawn is Twilight from the future?”
“Yes.”
“And you killed Princess Luna because crazy-Twilight told you to, and she killed Princess Celestia and Cadance and Cadance and Shining Armor’s foal?”
“I killed Princess Luna on order of her Ladyship, who, to the best of my knowledge, did not suffer from any mental illnesses. Her Ladyship killed Princess Celestia and Princess Cadance. To the best of my knowledge, Her Ladyship had no part in Princess Dazzle’s death.”
Twilight watched as the three fillies grilled Pip, each asking a question in turn. She’d run through an abridged version of the events of Broken’s timeline with them, and Pip had volunteered to answer outstanding questions. For the most part, this meant hearing the more outlandish claims from his own mouth.
“Girls, did you have any questions on something that Twilight didn’t already say?” Rarity gently prodded the fillies. They glanced at her, then at each other. Scootaloo took in a breath, placing her hooves on the table that separated them from Pip, Twilight, and the other mares.
“Did we have our cutie marks?”
“Yes.”
“Can you tell us what they are?”
Pip blinked. “…no.”
“Why not?!”
“I cannot recall them.”
“Seriously?” When Pip nodded, Scootaloo sighed. “Dangit.”
“I would think that you would not wish to know of your cutie marks even if I were to remember their composition, Scootaloo.”
“Why the hay would we not want to know our cutie marks?”
“Simple. Each of you had an individual cutie mark – while I cannot recall precisely what they were, I can confirm that they were unrelated to one another. For you to know what your mark was would be to remove you from the reason of your continued activity with your friends.”
“No it wouldn’t.” Scootaloo shook her head, mirrored by the fillies next to her. “We made a pact, that if one of us gets her cutie mark, she helps the others get theirs. Then when all three of us have them, we start helping other ponies find theirs. Like you.” Twilight’s ears had perked at that pronouncement, and Rarity gained a proud smile. “And besides, it’s not like we’re gonna stop being friends just because we have our cutie marks.”
Pip simply blinked. “Nonetheless, I cannot tell you what your cutie marks were. My apologies.”
Scootaloo sighed. “Don’t worry about it, Pip.”
Sweetie Belle glanced at Apple Bloom, who shook her head. The young unicorn stood.
“Pip, why did you kill Princess Luna?”
Pip’s brow furrowed. “Princess Luna was the one who ordered my parents killed.”
“Are you sure?”
“They were murdered by Inquisition members. Lady Dawn managed to stop them from fleeing, but was unable to stop them from committing the act.”
“Hold on. Inquisition?” Twilight asked. Pip nodded.
“The name for the task force Princess Luna arranged to weed out Revolutionary agents in royal-controlled towns and cities. They were given extralegal powers, unprosecutable no matter the crimes they committed.” Pip’s stare hardened. “Lady Dawn was very particular about their capture and public executions.”
“So, ponies that Princess Luna was in charge of killed your parents.” Sweetie put the focus back to her question. Pip nodded. “That doesn’t answer why you killed Princess Luna.”
“Princess Luna was the commander of the Inquisitorial forces. Inquisitorial forces were the ones who killed my parents. As no Inquisitorial action could be taken without permission of the Princess, she must have ordered my parents to be abducted. Effectively, Princess Luna killed my parents.”
Sweetie’s brow furrowed. She watched Pip for a few seconds before speaking.
“So?”
Twilight’s eyes widened. Pip blinked, several times.
“I do not understand your question.”
“So Princess Luna killed your parents. Then you killed her. Is that why you killed her?”
“Y… yes?” Pip took a breath. Blinked. Then another breath.
“That was it? Revenge? That’s not a good reason for anything, Pip.”
“I… I’m not…”
“Did you want to kill her? Did killing her make you feel better about your parents being dead?”
“I don’t… I can’t remember…“ Pip was blinking, once every half-second. His breathing was even faster, deeper. Twilight caught Sweetie’s eye, motioning for her to back off. Sweetie nodded, sitting down. Twilight turned her attention back to Pip, trying to make sure that he was actually suffering from one of his ‘panic attacks’.
“Pip?”
“N-no, I, I can’t-“ The stallion stood, suddenly enough that everypony jumped. He took a few steps out from the table, blinking hard several times. Sweetie stared at him, a scared look on her face.
“Pip?” Twilight tried again, her voice softer. Pip looked at her.
“I- I can’t, I don’t, need, they needed, but-“ Pip stammered, staring at a point beyond Twilight as his eye went pink. The unicorn quickly crossed the distance between them.
“Pip? Pip, can you hear me?”
“M-Milady, you, I needed, you, she had to, we-“ Twilight shooshed him, raising a hoof and brushing his mane down along his neck.
“Pip, I need you to calm down. Take a few breaths, just slow and stea-“ Twilight stopped. An odd urge hit her. “Pip, put your head down.”
“A-as you say…” Pip lowered his head. Twilight’s horn glowed as she touched it to his forehead.
There were still thousands of the little threads of magic.
Two of them, however, were very much larger than the others.
They pulsed, a vivid red against the grey of the other threads (they weren’t actually any colour, Twilight knew, but that was the best descriptor that she could come up with). They were also crossed, each one’s growth pressing against the other one. Twilight felt a spell come up from her mind – a simple magical block. Useful for stopping out-of-control spells.
Before she could think, she’d cast the spell on both lines.
Pip reared back, a sharp, pained whinny escaping from him. Twilight skittered back as well, watching the stallion in shock as he collapsed, shaking. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Spike all moved the short distance to stand between him and Twilight; Rarity was watching from the far side of the table with the three Crusaders. Pip remained on the floor for several seconds before standing, legs quaking for the few seconds that they supported him. His hind legs gave out, and he sat down heavily, his eye darting in every direction.
“Pip?” Twilight asked again. Pip blinked twice before his eye focused on her.
“I… I was walking, Scootaloo, she, I was walking her home…”
“Pip? What are you-“
“I was walking her home, Miss Cheeriliee said that I was Scootaloo’s helper because she couldn’t move her legs, and the ponies in black hats were…” Pip trailed off, speaking too quietly for anypony to hear. Twilight watched his mouth move for a few seconds before turning to Spike.
“Go grab the parchment and a quill and ink. Go!” Spike stared at her in confusion before the light went on behind his eyes. As he bolted out the door, Pip’s voice became audible again.
“…and the door was broken and Momma was there but she wasn’t moving and Dad wasn’t there, why wasn’t Dad there Momma was hur-“ Pip started coughing, still trying to speak as his lungs rebelled. Twilight put her hoof on his lips.
“What the buck is he talking about?” Rainbow asked.
“He’s remembering what happened.” Twilight answered, as Spike scurried into the room. Twilight removed the hoof from Pip’s mouth. “Pip, can you hear me? Pip?”
“Milady, yes, Milady, you were there-“
“Pip, I need you to calm down. Breathe, okay?”
Pip stopped trying to talk. He took several breaths, almost comically large. Twilight put her hoof on his shoulder. He froze.
“Pip, I need you to start at the beginning. Tell us what happened.”
The stallion blinked before taking another breath.
---
“Okay, that’s the end of the lesson. Remember that you have the math questions due tomorrow…”
Miss Cheerilee’s end-of-day instructions were mostly drowned out by the sound of two-dozen colts and fillies packing up and leaving the schoolhouse. Pipsqueak wasn’t one of them; he was putting everything he needed into his schoolbag, of course, but he was supposed to wait behind everypony else. The pony he was helping had to be the last one out.
“You don’t have to do this, you know.”
Pipsqueak put his eyes on the filly beside him. Scootaloo’s front hooves rested on the ground; her hind hooves were sitting under the rest of her, on the small cart that the doctors had given her to let her walk around. She met his eyes, looking almost angry.
“I’m not a crip… I don’t need you to help me out.”
“I know, but Miss Cheerilee said that somepony should help you, and I said I would because we live near each other and it’s better to walk with somepony and you just got out of the hospital and your legs still aren’t better and-”
“Pipsqueak.” Scootaloo said, in the angry-annoyed tone he was already able to recognize as the ‘stop talking’ tone his Dad said mares were born masters of. The colt immediately closed his mouth, blushing as he picked up her schoolbag and put it on her back; the filly winced as his hooves went near her wings. Backing away from the low table that served as her new desk, Scootaloo quickly walk-wheeled to the front of the class. She and Cheerliee held a short talk quiet enough that Pipsqueak knew it was supposed to be private.
The walk home was a fairly quiet one to start; most of the noise was the thumping of hooves on the road, or the birds in the trees, or Scootaloo’s muttering whenever she had to stop and wait for Pipsqueak to catch up to her because he was carrying half of her books and stuff because the cart couldn’t handle too much extra weight, or when she got stuck because her cart wheels got stuck in mud or a rock got in the turning part and she had to wait for him to help push her out or knock the rock out. She always thanked him when he did that though, so he liked helping her like that better than most of the time even if she kept using bad words while he was doing it.
Then, when they got to just past the first few lined-up-houses that showed where the outer part of Ponyville changed to the inner part of Ponyville, there was a really loud, really scary scream. Pipsqueak and Scootaloo both looked down the road, where the scream came from, and then Scootaloo was running to see what happened and Pipsqueak was following her. He stopped beside where she was stopped, beside a few adults, and watched with wide eyes as two guardsponies were wrestling with a mare just outside of a house.
The mare, a green unicorn, was the one that was screaming; she was yelling at somepony inside the house about not doing something and she still loved her and she was sorry for leaving with Twilight but-- and then one of the guards hit her in the face and she stopped yelling. They tied her up and threw her in a cart, and another guardspony came out from somewhere Pipsqueak hadn’t seen and took the mare away. A few seconds later, another mare came out of the house, followed by a guard and a pony in a black hat. Then everypony started muttering and moving away because a black hat wasn’t good. Ponies always went away when a black hat pony came.
Scootaloo and Pipsqueak walked down an alley between two collections of buildings, walking down the new road for a few blocks before going back up another alley and back onto the road they’d started on. They walked another block in silence.
“Bucking stupid.”
Pipsqueak blinked, but didn’t say anything. Miss Cheerilee had said that Scootaloo might say something sometimes and he wasn’t supposed to respond because she was just letting anger out.
“Pipsqueak.”
His name was not one of those something sometimes.
“Yeah?”
“You see what they did back there? What they were doing?”
“M’hmm.” The colt nodded.
“Y’know why they did it?”
“M’nmm.” The colt shook his head.
“That mare that the guards were beating up was one of the ponies that Twilight took with her.”
“Oh.” Pipsqueak frowned. His parents and Miss Cheerilee had said that Miss Twilight was ‘sick’ and that’s why she tried to get everypony to fight the Princesses and then left after the big barrier fell and the guardsponies came back. He was still confused about it, but his parents and Princess Luna both said that Twilight-side was bad and Princess-side was good, so he could think about it like that. “Was she a bad pony, then? It’s good that we caught her, ‘cause now she’s back on our side.”
Scootaloo raised her eyebrow at Pipsqueak and gave him a weird look, and then he looked away and blushed just before Scootaloo started laughing. It wasn’t a happy laugh, but it was better than swearing.
“Bucking foals.”
Well there that went. “You’re only three years older than me.” Pipsqueak said.
“And yet I’m so much older than you, aren’t I?”
“No-“
“Yes I am.” The filly snarled. It wasn’t the ‘stop talking’ tone, but Pipsqueak was still quieted by it. He also stopped walking, staring at her with widened, worried eyes. She glared at him for a few seconds before sighing. “Look, sorry, I-“
“Why are you so mad all the time?” Pipsqueak asked, his voice low but rising as he kept talking. “You came back and everypony was happy that you were okay again, but you’re always saying bad words, and you frown and grumble and glare at ponies even if they’re nice to you, and sometimes you look like you’re watching something far away when you aren’t, and I wanted to help you because you and Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were always nice to me so I wanted to be nice back but you hardly ever smile anymore and it’s scaring me and I don’t know why…” Pipsqueak tapered himself off, knowing that he’d been talking too much and he was probably making Scootaloo uncomfortable, but he was just worried about her and he wanted her to be happy again so he was sad when she wasn’t happy. Scootaloo was looking at him weird.
“Pipsqueak…” she said, her voice cracking a bit on the ‘eak’. “I…” she coughed, a wet sound “-I was hurt, really badly, and then I heard that I, that that bucking bitch ran off instead of helping me-“ another wet cough, and a sigh “-Pipsqueak, listen. I’m not… I’m mad, but not at you.” Scootaloo turned, taking a few steps towards the colt before throwing her forehooves around his shoulders, her face meeting the side of his neck. “You’re a good colt, really, and you’re gonna go places and do things and be generally awesome, okay?”
“’Kay…” Pipsqueak mumbled, his eyes wide that she was actually touching him.
“But I… things happened, and I’m trying to get used to all of them, and everypony keeps trying to act like everything’s normal but it’s not, I mean, I can’t fly, I, I lost my two best friends ever, forever, I had to, to watch-” She tightened her grip around his neck, and he gently brought his hooves up to reach around the back of hers as he felt his neck get wet. They stood there for a minute or two until she stopped shaking and stopped hugging him. She took a step away, blushing under her fur almost as much as he was.
“So yeah. Um… right, yeah, the guardsponies, they’re being stupid about who they arrest, is what I was trying to say.”
“But if they’re arresting bad ponies, then-“
“Pipsqueak, I support most of what Twilight says.” The colt stared at the filly in shock, but she didn’t seem to notice. “Almost everypony here does, or did, if we didn’t then we wouldn’t have been at the rally. The guards and the damned black-hats are being bucking morons about arresting ponies. They’re gonna arrest that mare, and arrest the mare that she was yelling at, then arrest the ponies that were watching with us and probably arrest the entire block for good measure. And it’s gonna mean Faust’s farts because the amount of support that Twilight has in town isn’t gonna do anything when she rides in here on a giant dragon. That goes for every town Luna where has those black-hats listening through walls with cups.” Scootaloo shook her head. “That’s why I called you a foal; you don’t think about that kind of stuff. You shouldn’t think about that kind of stuff.”
Pip didn’t know how to respond. They walked the rest of the way to Scootaloo’s home in silence; after he helped her inside and set the school stuff that he was carrying for her down, she nuzzled his cheek and told him to keep up the good work. Pipsqueak smiled and blushed when she did that, and he was smiling about it until he walked up to his own home.
. . . . .
The door was broken, hanging off of the bottom hinge, and the window had been shattered. A few ponies were casting sideways glances at it, but none of them ventured close; Pipsqueak was able to walk, unhindered, inside.
His mother was laying on the floor, in the middle of a bunch of broken glass. The shelves that held the mechanical toys were tipped over, and bits of glass and metal were spread all over the floor. There was a bunch of red stuff
Blood
on the floor too, wet and sticky when he stepped in it and it was all around the glass and metal bits and his Momma was laying in it too. Pipsqueak was looking at her, couldn’t stop looking at her, and she was laying on her side and a bunch of the red stuff
(blood)
was around a circle-spot on her side. She was laying away from Pipsqueak, and he couldn’t step around to her front because of all the glass, so he just put a hoof on her leg and started shaking her.
“Momma?”
Silence.
“Momma, you gotta get up.”
Silence.
“Momma, please wake up, there’s glass and stuff all over the floor, I can help you clean it up if you want.”
Silence.
“Momma?” Pipsqueak’s voice cracked. He was crying, he realized, and the tears fell down his face and into the red stuff (blood) and his hoof was covered in the red stuff (blood) and now Momma’s leg was covered in the red stuff (blood) like that pony had been when the guards came and he was watching through the window when that pony hurt a guard and the guard hurt him but Momma said that good ponies didn’t get hurt like that and Momma was a good pony so she couldn’t get hurt like that but Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo got hurt really badly and they were good ponies so maybe Momma was wrong maybe good ponies could get hurt maybe Momma was hurt Pipsqueak didn’t want Momma hurt Pipsqueak wanted Momma okay because Momma was a good pony Momma needed to be okay and Pipsqueak was crying harder and shaking Momma harder and yelling and screaming and there was hoofsteps coming down the stairs and Pipsqueak thought it was Dad and Dad could help Dad could make Momma get up and be better and then Pipsqueak could stop crying and everything could go back to normal and happy and Pipsqueak screamed for Dad to come help Momma but he said Daddin instead but it didn’t matter because the steps came faster and
The pony who stepped around the corner wasn’t Pipsqueak’s father.
“Oh, Pipsqueak…” Twilight Sparkle said. Pipsqueak glanced up at her, freezing with his hoof on his Momma’s leg. Twilight’s mouth held an odd curve to it, and her eyes were looking at something past Pipsqueak even though they were looking at him, but her voice was wet and heavy.
“I’m so sorry…”