//------------------------------//
// Zarzaclaus is comin' to town 
// Story: The Single Greatest Story You Will Ever Read. 
// by Hippony 
//------------------------------//

	Twilight Sparkle went downstairs to that science place in her basement (?). There was a fucking huge computer she had recently installed. By which I mean Spike installed it. Just as much, it seems, as what Twilight Sparkle was about to do on this computer would make Spike semi-responsible for the perishing of literally everything in all 11 dimensions.  Ever so calmly, Twilight walked up to the computer and entered the command. 

>fucking FUCKSPUNKASSES fucky shit dicks.

Nothing happened; for now. 

Celestia, what a functionally retarded command, thought the lavender alicorn. She had lots of time to think lots of things, but only for a minute. For what transpired before her eyes melted the very concept of her eyeballs across all 11 plains.

It was a snout–a hideous, indescribable snout of a hideous, indescribable monster. Then a body came. A body made of a hardly stomachable mass of inexistence. Atop this mass of pure torment was a man of a platypus’ body. These two were surely the epitome of omnipotent destruction. These two, Zarzapolnizhark the Conquestioner and Brendon the Demiplatypus, were, in fact, that.

As her final thoughts escaped her, she knew exactly what had happened. Exactly what she had wanted. The destruction of everything and its mother was finally afoot. Ahoof? Oh, who gives a shit? No one will exist to be able to debate this soon. Soon, Twilight’s last words as she was consumed by the sheer might of the unholy Arbiters of the Morose Hypersphere. And soon, this universe will share the same fate.

And so they did. All was consumed by the Dimmest Glimmer in unfathomable color. Of course, no one would know this to be the fate of everyone who has ever existed, exists, or to exist in the future, for thoughts of the sort were the first consumed from the masses. Only at their Event Horizon of Deceasion will their very essence and every thought return to them before being slowly slid from them as they continue their existence in the negative space within the core of the Morose Hypersphere.

And when it is all over, Zarzapolnizhark the Conquestioner and Brendon the Demiplatypus shall return to their insatiably grim Antiverse. And the essence of the existence captured from the universes as we could ever possibly perceive them shall feed their tenacious family for many Megaeons. 

But as they feed, they plant the seeds of a new universe, ever so different from the previous. This particular one depicts a scenario in which Twilight Sparkle never summoned Zarzapolnizhark the Conquestioner and Brendon the Demiplatypus. She was content to sit around, waiting for this narrative to pick back up. Incidentally, this was the universe in which we started. A universe in which I, the narrator, spoke with a lot less caring for his work. This person is me and not only me from an alternate universe, but also me as I am right now in this one. A universe inside of which you, the reader, reside.

Twilight, bored with my rambling nonsense, somehow being aware of it to begin with, goes outside to get some fresh air. Upon entering the world outside her abode, she is greeted by all of her friends. Why they are all there for no explained reason is unimportant at the moment. No, for now, all that is important to note is that all 5 of her best friends, upon their greeting, opened fire on the mare. She died almost instantly from a shot to the head, the bullet bouncing off the walls of her skull and scrambling her brain.

She woke up again.

I really hate this narrator, Twilight grumbled before slamming her head back onto her bed.

And all was well in Equestria.