//------------------------------// // Chapter 12: Logic Against Instinct // Story: The Happiness and Peace of Mind Committee // by FlanChan //------------------------------// The Happiness and Peace of Mind Committee Chapter 12: Logic Against Instinct Twilight awoke with a jolt, suddenly snapping out of her dream. She thought hard. No, it wasn’t just a dream. It was memories resurfacing, things she had so long forgotten about. Was that really how things were? Was that really how simple it was for Emerald to completely ruin her life? All she had to do was go up to Celestia and Luna and ask…? She kicked the side of her mattress. All of this! Everything was their fault! She thought that she could trust her rulers all those years ago, revering them at every moment she could, and yet they were the cause for all of her pain and loss and suffering! She felt utterly betrayed. No, she had to be rational about this. Maybe there was something out of their control? Maybe they were forced to…? But why hadn’t they explained it to her?! She used to be so close to Princess Celestia, yet she hadn’t heard a lick of an explanation! She seethed, but caught herself. She needed to keep level headed. She sat down and took calming, deep breaths, extending her foreleg out from her chest with every exhale. She just needed to clear her head. Surely there was something in the puzzle that she was missing…? “Twiliiight!” Twilight turned just in time to see Pinkie throw her door open, her face covered with tears and fresh ones freely flowing out as if her very life depended on her continuous sobbing. The unicorn stood up and took the distressed mare in her arms. “What is it? What’s wrong?” Twilight asked, patting Pinkie’s back comfortingly. She already felt her shoulder getting damp from a combination of her friend’s snot and tears. “I...I remember everything!” she cried. “All of my friends! All of the parties! All of the fun!” She wailed and buried her head in Twilight’s chest. “I miss it! Now every time I see someone on the streets, I remember all of the fun that I used to have with them…” She continued, but her sobbing reduced the words to nonsensical blabbering. Twilight combed some strands of magic through her friend’s straight pink hair, shushing her calmingly. “Don’t worry, it’s all in the past now, there’s no need to dwell on something like that…” Twilight reassured. Pinkie lifted her head and looked Twilight straight in the eyes. “You don’t understand!” she cried, her eyes brimming with more tears than she thought she had. “My whole life, my whole being was centered around my friends and making other ponies happy! Now I know that I’ll never be able to do something like that again for as long as this whole situation goes on. And I’m positive that it will go on for longer than our lifetimes, Twilight.” “Don’t say that!” Twilight shouted back. “Don’t give up hope so easily! Can you try and think of the positives? You used to cheer ponies up, and if you are plunged into sadness—you, the very epitome of laughter—then everyone will become discouraged, knowing that all hope must be lost!” Pinkie sniffed and wiped her eyes, which were puffy and red. She stood up with determination. “I promise that I’ll make things right! I’ll fix everything!” she affirmed with renewed determination. She turned on her hooves and dashed out the door, her hair poofing a little. Twilight smiled with relief. That was one crisis averted. Then her grin dropped, as now another problem faced her. Why couldn’t she remember everything before the New Era? According to Pinkie’s testimony, the others were able to remember a lot more than what she could. All she knew was about the actual events and politics leading up to Emerald’s rise to power. However, her actual daily life was a mystery to her. Was Emerald Joy picking and choosing what they were allowed to remember? Twilight sighed. There is always a catch, even when they say that there isn’t one. In fact, the time to be extra weary is when they say that there aren’t any strings attached. But did she follow her own advice? Of course not. Desperate times may call for desperate measures, but her carelessness lately was reaching inexcusable levels. Maybe talking to her friends would keep herself sane. Not enough interaction always seemed to mess with her brain. But just as she rested her hoof on her doorknob to leave her house, another thought flashed through her mind. Why could she not remember the very beginning of the New Era? Her hoof slipped away from the knob as more questions assaulted her mind. Where was Aquamarine during all of this? Why did she not have any memories of meeting her? She grabbed her head as her mind started whirling, using the door as support as she collapsed to the floor. What was this? What in the world was going on? Her vision became spotty as her mind kicked into overdrive. Everything became a haze. She felt hot and started to sweat, putting a hoof over her forehead to calm her sudden flash of discomfort. What could this be…? That was the last thought that ran through Twilight’s mind before she blacked out completely in front of the door. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Ah! She’s waking up!” “Wha… What’s going on…?” Twilight asked, her mind blurry along with her vision. She opened her eyes lazily and a few colorful blobs stood leaning over her. After a moments of her eyes adjusting, the blobs turned into the faces of Rainbow, Pinkie, Rarity, and Aquamarine. “You passed out back at your house! Rainbow went over there to talk to you, but you were collapsed against the door so it wouldn’t open, so she resorted instead to bashing one of your windows in. We all thought that you might be dead!” Rarity informed. Rainbow laughed nervously. “Yeah, um, I hope you don’t mind that one of your windows are broken…” she said, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly. “At a time like this, I wouldn’t care if my whole house was burned down,” Twilight replied with a little laugh, but she stopped quickly. Laughing hurt her chest, and she didn’t need any more suffering after experiencing a possibly fatal black out. “What happened, though? Why did you faint?” Pinkie asked worriedly, pushing the other three aside to obtain direct eye contact with Twilight. “Well… erm…” Twilight pondered, racking her brain to remember what she experienced last. She was just thinking about her memories, and then started wondering about Aquamarine. Her eyes widened. “Actually, I can’t remember why…” she fibbed. She didn’t know if the cause for her unconsciousness was dangerous or magical or what, but she didn’t need to take any chances at this point. Pinkie investigated her face worriedly for a few seconds, then backed off a little. “Are you sure that you’re going to be alright?” Rarity asked with heavy concern in her voice. Twilight nodded. “I’m fine, really! Just…” She sat up and groaned, then fell back down into a laying position. “Just… give me a moment…” After a few rounds of trial and error, Twilight made it upright, holding a hoof to her forehead. “Ugh…” “If you’re really going to be fine, then let us continue the meeting,” Aquamarine said. Twilight’s eyes widened as she realized she was in the abandoned office where Rebellion Bureau meetings were usually held. “Okay…” she agreed. “What were we talking about before I came to?” “The returning memories. What else could it possibly be?” Aquamarine replied. “That makes sense…” Twilight laughed nervously. “What did I miss?” “Well, in all honesty, we were just beginning our conversation when you woke up, so you didn’t miss out on very much of anything,” Rarity explained. Twilight nodded, and decided to seize the opportunity to get the answers for some of the questions she had earlier. “So, how much did all of you guys remember?” she asked, sweeping her eyes across the four friends before her. Pinkie’s eyes started watering. “D...Do I have to tell you mine again?” she asked. “For the sake of the others, I think you better,” Twilight replied, noticing the puzzled looks on the faces of the others. Pinkie sighed. “I don’t really remember anything important, per se, just a bunch of me having fun with my friends and making cakes and eating cupcakes and living in a bakery…” she explained, listing off each thing as it popped into her head. She paused for a moment, catching herself before she rambled for too long. “But yeah, nothing besides day-to-day stuff…” “It’s the same with me!” Rarity replied, shock eminent in her voice. “I just remember my boutique and making dresses, but that isn’t exactly any different from what I do right now…” “I’m kinda the same as you guys,” Rainbow added. “I mean, I mostly just remember working on weather duty and being the best flyer around, but there’s also something else there. Something that I feel I’m just on the brink on, but I still can’t quite reach…” “Hm?” Aquamarine spoke up. “What do you mean?” “Well, I’m remembering bits and pieces of something, but it doesn’t even seem real…” Rainbow said, fumbling with her words to try and form them in a sensical way. “Can you describe the bits and pieces to us?” Twilight asked. “You never know how something seemingly unhelpful could actually be the last piece of the puzzle, yet it still gets overlooked because of its seeming insignificance.” Rainbow swallowed and nodded. “Don’t put all of this pressure on me, Twilight…” she mumbled. Twilight blushed. “Sorry…” she responded. Rainbow nodded in acknowledgement of her apology, then began. “Well, basically, it’s the six of us—Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rarity, and me—and we’re all together in this creepy looking castle that must be like a zillion years old. Then there’s also this evil chick who we’re attacking or something…” She trailed off. “But that couldn’t have happened in real life, right?” she added hastily. “It must just be some sorta crazy dream.” “I don’t see how it could be anything else,” Rarity piped up. “Something like that is too outrageous to be real.” “Yeah! That would be, like, cuh-razy!” Pinkie chimed in. “Maybe it really is nothing after all…” Twilight finished, her mind still not completely agreeing with her words. Maybe it really was something, just not something real. Maybe a sign…? Her thoughts were lagging behind as the conversation moved forward, so she pushed her suspicions aside for the time being. “What about you, Aquamarine?” Pinkie asked, leaning forward in her chair in anticipation. Aquamarine shifted her eyes to the floor and crossed her arms. “Nothing really, just some daily stuff like the rest of you…” she mumbled. “You did go get your memories back, right?” Rarity inquired. “She had to! She was right in front of me in line!” Rainbow added. “Look, it’s nothing important, alright? It’s just some stuff about my past that I’d rather not talk about, and wish that I hadn’t remembered…” she insisted, shifting uncomfortably. “I don’t really trust that kind of attitude,” Rainbow replied coldly. “Oh?” Aquamarine lifted her head and looked directly into Rainbow’s eyes. “And why not?” “Do you think I’m going to let you slide by, possibly concealing some sort of important clues. Now start talking, Aquamarine! If that even is your real name!” Rainbow caught herself. “Well… I know that’s not your real name, but you get the point.” Aquamarine smirked and leaned back against the wall, brushing her sapphire blue hair out of her similarly colored eyes. “Fine then, I’ll indulge you in my little sob story,” she caved, although still keeping her cool. “I was a little girl, studying magic in the libraries. But of course as every tragic back story goes, I had lost my parents, but was adopted by a kind mare who had very powerful magical experience. She took me in as one of her own, and she became both my teacher and my mother. She taught me everything I know. “However, when I became old enough to enter the school system, some nasty rumors circulated around the schoolyard about her. Therefore, it was only natural that I was also shunned along with her. All of my friends, however, knew nothing about my connections with her. Therefore, I had to go through the torment of them saying such horrible things about my own adoptive mother and professor, without having the guts to do anything but play along with them. Finally I was withdrawn from the public schools and continued my training by my mother’s hoof, and became the great unicorn that I am today.” She lifted her horn to the air and blasted a light show of colorful magic as demonstration. The others observed in awe until the last tangent flickered and died out. “Erm…” Rainbow started. “And those are the memories I recalled. Are you happy now?” Aquamarine ended coldly. Rainbow looked a little guilty and hurt at the same time. “S-sorry…” the pegasus apologized after a moment of silence, her wings snapped shut against her back. “It’s fine,” Aquamarine replied, her gaze distant. “Dwelling on my past is just a sign of weakness. I don’t let it bother me too much anymore.” Everyone glanced around the room, unsure how to move the conversation past the rough patch they brought upon themselves. They didn’t want to just end the meeting, but there seemed nothing left to discuss. “Wait!” Pinkie spoke up after the long stretch of silence. “Twilight! You never told us what you remembered, did you?” Twilight’s faced burned red and her stomach started to flip and churn. Her head even got a little dizzy and she wanted to faint just to get out of the situation. Should she just make something up? Did she really want to worry them with something so big? “Erm… I just remember studying really hard and practicing magic. I don’t remember what it was that I was learning, though, so I’m not of any help either…” she lied again. She was hoping that nobody would notice her fibs, and according to everyone’s expressions, no one did. “Is there anything else that’s up for discussion right now?” Rarity asked after everyone had enough time to go over the information in their minds. “I don’t think so…” Twilight said, thinking if there was anything she was willing to talk about at the moment. Emerald Joy’s words in the tent lingered in the back of her mind. She didn’t want to worry anyone with it, not until she knew for sure what it meant, so she kept her mouth shut for the time being. “Are you getting anything out of Emerald?” “I’m trying my hardest, I swear!” Rarity answered defensively. “I know that I said that she’s essentially an open book, but when it comes to things that she doesn’t want anyone to know, she’s awful good at keeping her mouth shut. She’ll be a really tough nut to crack. I mean, I didn’t expect her to spill the beans right away, but I was kind of hoping that it would be a bit easier than she’s currently making it…” “So, nothing?” Aquamarine asked. “Not unless you’re interested on her preferences for dress ruffles, no,” Rarity confirmed. She sighed and balanced her head in her hooves, her elbows resting on the meeting table. It seemed so small before, but their numbers had been dwindling so much lately it just seemed to be getting bigger and bigger. “Very well,” Twilight breathed with disappointment. “This meeting of the Rebellion Bureau, which I unfortunately didn’t have to pleasure to begin today, is dismissed.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Twilight stared at her newly busted back window. She hoped that it would be fixed by the androids soon. Did androids even fix windows? She shrugged. Having a broken window didn’t bother her much anyway. She let her mind wander for a moment as she traced her hoof along the cracks. The memory of Pinkie breaking into her house and sobbing earlier resurfaced first. Was Pinkie really alright after all of that fuss? There’s no way that Twilight’s few sentences of reassurance could make her feel much better. Maybe I should go check on her? Make sure she’s really feeling better? Twilight pricked her hoof on one of the broken shards, and a few drops of blood leaked out. She had made up her mind. Without a second thought, she grabbed her coat and put it on hastily as she headed out the door, turning in the direction of Pinkie’s house. She arrived quickly, knocking on the door diligently. She stepped back and waited for a response for a few moments, but when none came, she decided to just enter instead of knocking again. She knew that Pinkie wouldn’t mind. “Hey, Pinkie!” Twilight called casually. “You feeling better?” “Ah, Twilight…” Pinkie answered from another room. “How unexpected. But I’m glad you came…” Twilight hesitated for a moment. This wasn’t the attitude or way of speaking that Pinkie usually used. Maybe it was a good thing that she came over to check on her… “Yeah… Are you alright, Pinkie?” Twilight asked, still trying to locate the origin of the voice. Pinkie’s house was a tad hard to navigate, Twilight soon found out. There were lots of twists and turns and bright colors. “Are any of us alright, Twilight?” Pinkie responded, her melancholy filled voice echoing off of the walls eerily. Twilight shuddered. “Pinkie, where are you? What’s going on?” she said, her voice rising in fear. She heard Pinkie sigh. “I wish I knew the answer myself…” Twilight rounded a corner and found herself in a long hallway, a single door at the end. The walls were painted a dark blue. The lights were dim and the windows covered. She could just make out Pinkie’s silhouette standing atop a chair, and a streamer dangled out of place from the ceiling. “Pinkie...” Twilight said. “What are you doing...?” She approached the room and could make things out more clearly. That wasn't just a streamer hanging from the ceiling... “Hello, Twilight,” Pinkie greeted. “Glad you could make it to the party.” “My God, Pinkie!” Twilight shouted. “What are you doing? This isn't a party in any way, shape, or form! It's me walking in on a suicide attempt!” “But don't you understand? It is a party, Twilight,” Pinkie corrected. “I even went out of my way to get a piñata...” “Pinkie, stop talking nonsense! Get that rope off of your neck!” Twilight demanded, stomping closer. She was prepared to take it off, but Pinkie raised her leg, silently threatening to kick the chair aside and let gravity do the rest. Twilight stepped back obediently, and Pinkie slowly placed her hoof back on the chair. “Don't be a party pooper, Twilight,” Pinkie warned. “If there's something you want to say before closing ceremonies, I'm all for it. You might want to make it quick, though. The guests are getting antsy.” Twilight turned and saw resting against the wall a bag of flour, a stack of rocks, and a bucket of turnips. All were wearing matching party hats. “Honestly, Pinkie! Drop this deranged act and talk straight with me! Why are you going to hang yourself?” Twilight cried, trying to get through to her friend. Why was she acting this way all of the sudden? She seemed perfectly fine earlier... “Aw, fine...” Pinkie frowned. “Party pooper.” She sat down on the back of the chair, the noose still loosely tied around her neck. “Now it's gonna be all sad...” “What do you mean?” Twilight asked, cautiously inching closer to her friend as if she was a dangerous animal. “Well, I tried to tell you earlier when I came to your house, but you seemed kind of busy or disinterested or something. You acted like I could just forget all about everything, but I don't think you understand...” Pinkie sighed. “I think it has to do with me being an earth pony. I was never that good with plants, but I'm really good with other ponies. I think I'm more in tune with others than a normal pony, and that's how I'm an earth pony. Hah, there are different divisions of divisions of ponies. Isn't that something?” “But what do you mean, exactly?” Twilight asked. “What drove you to do this all of the sudden?” “After going so long without the memories of all of the fun I had, and then suddenly getting them back, it made me remember my purpose in life,” Pinkie continued. “My destiny is to make others happy, so when I make other ponies happy, it makes me feel happy. But now that everyone has this sort of 'artificial' happy, it really bums me out. I can't make anyone happy anymore! And what with this whole rebellion business, I can't make any of you guys happy, either. I mean, sure, I can crack a joke here and there, but that hardly counts. “I'm also hardly any help for you guys, so you are essentially better off without me. I just feel worthless without being able to make you all happy...” She paused. “Heh, nowadays I'm even a little jealous of the brainwashed ponies. At least they never have to experience this kind of feeling...” “Oh, Pinkie, you shouldn't resort to something this severe! You know that a stunt like this will make us feel even worse!” “I know, I'm such a selfish pony...” Pinkie replied, a tear rolling down her cheek. “The last thing I do in my life is make you all depressed. I'm so horrible at being the life of the party...” “Snap out of it! This can't be the final option! There has to be another way for you to feel better!” Twilight cried, finding her own eyes starting to water. Suddenly Pinkie's eyes dilated. “...You're right!” Pinkie replied in shock. “I don't have to die to feel better!” She slipped the noose off of her neck and hopped off of the chair. Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. That was one crisis averted... “Hey, where are you going?” Twilight asked, noticing that Pinkie had already bolted out of the room and around the corner. She quickly chased after her through the twists and turns of the rooms, until finally she reached the entryway where Pinkie had already put her coat on and was heading out the front door. She paused and turned back to Twilight. “I want to feel happy again, Twilight, through any means possible,” she stated simply, before taking off into the night. Twilight raced after her, but knew that if she ran too fast on the roads she would draw suspicion. It was only normal for little kids to run around, and if anyone else did it they would surely be caught. Didn't Pinkie know that? Why wasn't she slowing down...? With horror, the reality of the situation dawned on her. Twilight didn't know what to do. Should she race after her and risk getting caught too? No, that definitely wasn't the best thing to do, but her mind was in such a mess that it seemed like a pretty valid idea at the time. She was able to dismiss it, though. Just as Aquamarine would always say: letting emotions cloud your judgment was almost never a good idea. Instead she walked casually, yet still briskly, out of Pinkie's house. She needed to protect her friend and put a stop to this. After about five minutes, Twilight reached the town square. It was night time, so everything was illuminated with an eerie orange glow from the streetlights. She stopped. She heard voices. She jumped into the shadows, fearing her capture. She peeked out cautiously and spotted two female figures. She held up a hoof to her mouth to catch the gasp that escaped her lips. Pinkie was talking with Emerald Joy. Twilight wanted to scream, run away, and try and save her, all at the same time. Was this really happening? Everything went by so fast... She tensed as Pinkie started walking back the way she came, which happened to pass by right where Twilight was hiding. The earth pony skipped over cheerfully, her curly pink hair bouncing, then stopped as she noticed Twilight crouched down. “Hello there!” she greeted, as if Twilight was a stranger. Her grin was unnaturally wide. “You don't seem very happy. You know that it's your duty, right? You wanna fulfill your duty, got it?”