//------------------------------// // Dragon's Breath: Rekindling // Story: His Vector Grey // by Darkryt Orbinautz //------------------------------// Spike paced back and forth, rubbing his chin as he contemplated what to do. Twilight was motionless in the wall, still as the grave. Spike's internal quest for a solution was hampered somewhat by the fact he had never heard of two mares dating before. Like, date-dating. In the storybooks Twilight would read him when they were both children in Canterlot, the stories always ended with a handsome prince rescuing the beautiful princess from a dark wizard's tower. Never in them was there a story of a beautiful princess rescuing another princess. He had to wonder, would that make repairing Pinkie's and Twilight's relationship . . . different from repairing a relationship featuring a male and female? Or would all the same concepts apply with no concern for gender? "Aaah . . ." Spike bemoaned, slapping his hand against his head. "Come on, think! What's the right thing to do in this situation!?" He applied both his hands to his head like he was going to squeeze it off. "Think, think, think!" He knocked on his noggin. An idea eventually came to him. "I know!" Spike pointed his finger through the air. "I'll ask our friends! I'm sure they'll have something that can help!" Spike was momentarily enthusiastic about his idea, then was disappointed as he turned towards Twilight. "Ooh, but Twilight was really insistent on not letting anypony know about Pinkie and her! What do I do!?" Spike rubbed his chin. "I know! I just . . . won't mention their names, that's all! I better get to work!" Spike ran upstairs to the bedroom, and pulled out the materials for writing a letter, like the ones Twilight sent to Celestia. Only it would be for their friends instead. Dear . . . Spike paused, wondering the best choice of words. Everypony, A good friend of mine has come down with a funk because of a bad break-up with her coltfriend. I want them to get back together, but I don't know how. Please send help at your earliest . . . "Hey, Twilight!? How do you spell "convenience"?" "C-o-v-e-n-i-e-n-c-e." Twilight spelled for him. "Thanks." Spike wrote the letters down. -at your earliest convenience, Signed, Spike. Spike had been expecting to write the letter over and over again until there was one for all four of Twilight's friends who weren't Pinkie, but that turned out to be unnecessary. "I gathered everypony as soon I received your telegram, Spike." Rarity informed, closing the window curtains in the room. She was trying to add a certain atmosphere to emphasized the gravity of the situation. "The room will reflect the mood." she said. Applejack, as usual, thought she was bonkers. Rarity, Applejack, Dash, and Fluttershy were all gathered around Rarity's tea table, with a cup of fresh-brewed tea, of course. "I am very thankful you brought this matter to my attention as soon you did, Spike." Rarity told him, draping her hoof around his shoulder and giving him a peck on the cheek. Rainbow Dash looked around the room. "Where's Pinkie Pie? She's normally all over trying to cheer ponies up." "Yes, well, I tried to get her, of course." Rarity said. "But she refused to come for some reason." "Pinkie Pie, turn down an invitation?" Applejack asked. "Well, that just plumb don't sound right." "She said not to bother her." Rarity added. "She said was going through a phase." "Ah don't like it, y'all. Since when does Pinkie do "phases"? "Yeah!" Dash agreed, slamming her hoof on the table. "I say we march over there right now, and-" "HEY!" Spike shouted, flailing his arms for attention. "Can we worry about my friend's predicament first!?" "I'm so sorry, Spike." Rarity told him, crossing her hooves under her chin. "Do tell us what's wrong with Twilight, darling." Spike's eyes widened. "Uhh . . . w-what makes you think it's Twilight, Rarity?" "Well, your letter mentioned a special friend!" Rarity wailed. She beckoned Spike closer, and he obliged. "There's also the teensiest-tiny detail of her meltdown last night that could have powered four unrelated power plants." Rarity whispered with an unamused expression. "Point taken." Spike whispered back before drawing away. He held his claws out and puffed himself up. "But that aside, the friend to which I refer to is not Twilight." "Then who is it?" Applejack asked. "Umm . . . my friend wishes to not be named." Spike explained. Rarity gave him a glare, not buying it, but she let him keep the charade up. "So, a break-up, huh?" Dash asked for clarification while she slumped in her chair and put her back hooves on the table. "Rainbow Dash, hooves OFF the table!" Rarity screeched. Rainbow ignored her. "Golly, Ah don't entirely know wut to do 'bout a break-up, Spike." Applejack admitted with sadness, lying her hat against her chest. "But, are y'all shore this is tha' best course of action?" "What do you mean?" "Ah mean, are ya shore it would be best to git'em back together? 'Cos maybe . . . maybe it's for tha' best, Spike. Maybe they just . . . weren't meant to be." Rarity gasped. "Applejack! I can't believe what I'm hearing!" "Well, Rarity, if wasn't meant tah be, it wasn't meant tah be." Spike thought about Applejack's words. Maybe she had a point. Maybe she was right. Maybe he should leave it all to rest and put this past behind them. Then he thought about Twilight, still stuck in the wall, and unlikely to have moved since he left this morning. Sapped of the drive to do anything and drained of the will to eat, to breath, to sleep. The will to live. Applejack hadn't seen her. Applejack didn't see how utterly broken and confused Twilight was. Applejack didn't see how many pieces Twilight was in. Spike resolved to himself not to give up, and that no matter what, Twilight and Pinkie would get back together! "I . . . still want to try." Spike said. "Well, bless yer heart for being determined, Spike." Applejack said. "A'ight . . . lemme think a bit . . . oh! Granny always says, "tha' quickest way to a colt's heart is through his stomach." Maybe yer friend should bake an apple pie for her special somepony!" "Ooh!" Rarity squealed. "Perhaps a fabulous new dress?" She used her magic to levitate a bolt of fabric near her and caressed it. "I think it's going to take more than gifts for my friend's coltfriend to forgive her." Spike said. "Anypony got any better ideas?" "Well, you know what I'd do?" Dash asked rhetorically, taking her back hooves off the table only to replace them with her front ones. "I'd march straight up to that jerk, holster him by the neck, and tell him "Hey, what's the matter with you, pal!? Am I not good enough for you? Well, fine, jerk! If you feel that way, then I'm TOO GOOD for you anyways, wise-flank!"" Dash raved. Spike felt that wasn't going to particular work either. "I, um, always thought serenades were rather romantic." Fluttershy suggested, nearly inaudible. "What's a serenade?" Spike asked. "Oh! Um, well . . . a serenade is a special song by ponies who are in love to get the other to fall in love with them. I've heard stories of it having an almost magical quality to resolve fights between lovers." Fluttershy smiled and sighed. "Isn't that just the sweetest thing?" Fluttershy's eyes widened. "Um, not that I'm suggesting you use magic to force this colt to get back with your friend, that is!" "I'll . . ." Spike stammered, not sure what to make of Fluttershy's paranoid fear. "I'll make a note of that. Thanks. Rarity, could I have my letter back? I want to make a note . . ." "Of course, darling." Rarity handed him the letter. Spike pulled out a quill and wrote on the back, listing Applejack's and Fluttershy's ideas. Carrying some groceries, Spike soon returned to the library, where Twilight was still stuck in the wall. Spike's worry increased as he noticed how her stomach seem to be making surf waves. "Twilight?" Spike asked. "Spike?" Twilight replied, spinning her pupils towards him. "Hello, Spike. What's in the bags?" It disturbed Spike how . . . mechanical she sounded. "Oh, these?" Spike asked, lifting the bags up. "Just some . . . stuff." "That's nice." Twilight said briskly. "I'm glad you're here, Spike. I'd like to write a letter to the Princess." "Okay . . ." Spike agreed. He felt relieved that Twilight had apparently recovered enough to dictate a letter to her mentor. "What do you want to say?" "Dear Princess Celestia," Twilight began, "Today I learned that if you stick your horn in a wall for long enough, it will eventually start to talk back to you." "Uhh, Twilight, I'm not so sure that's a good thing to write to the Princess-" "I ALSO learned," Twilight continued, ignoring him, "That true love is a BITTER LIE told to us by CRUEL PARENTS who have NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT!" "I'm . . . gonna go in the kitchen." Spike told her, pointing to the kitchen door. Twilight made no motion to show she heard him or cared. Inside the kitchen, Spike turned the paper bags upside down and shook their contents onto the table. Eggs, butter, milk, sugar, and a pie crust . . . everything he would need to bake a forgiveness pie! Spike's plan was to bake the pie and then leave in Pinkie's home for her to find, leaving a note saying it was from Twilight, not him. He didn't know if that would be enough to send Pinkie sprawling back into Twilight's forelegs, but it was a good start. He got out a cookbook, put on a chef hat, and went to work with gusto. It took him so long it was dark by the end of it, but he now had a firm dark chocolate pie. Twilight was none the wiser. It looked so good, he had to fight the temptation to eat it himself. "Focus, Spike." Spike told himself, giving himself a slap. "This is for Pinkie . . . and for Twilight, not yourself." Carrying the pie with his claws underneath it, Spike headed out for Sugarcube Corner, a bakery where Pinkie both lived and worked. He passed Twilight on his way out. "Twilight, I'm going out!" Once again, she made no motion to acknowledge him. Spike frowned. All his hopes were resting on this pie. Upon reaching Sugarcube Corner, Spike ignored the "Closed" sign and opened the door. He sneaked inside. "Hello?" Spike asked the empty air. There was no pony in the seats or even at the register. "Perfect!" Spike exclaimed before hopping towards the counter. He placed the still-steaming pie on the counter and turned to leave. "Oop!" Spike smacked himself. "Almost forget!" He reached into that void where cartoon characters always magically kept things and produced a tag with black string run through it. He carefully inserted the string into the pie, making it look just like a Hearth's Warming Eve gift. From: Twilight Sparkle To: Pinkie Pie Was written on the tag. Spike smacked his palm on the service bell, then scampered outside. He ran around to the side of the building, hiding the bushes so he could eavesdrop from the window. "Hello?" Spike heard a male voice say. Mr. Cake, Pinkie's employer-slash-landlord-slash-adoptive father. "I'm sorry, but we're closed. Hmm?" Spike grinned. Mr. Cake must have noticed the pie. His theory was confirmed when he heard Mr. Cake call for his little girl. "Pinkie Pie! Would you come down here, please? One of your friends left you a gift!" "Sure!" came an unenthusiastic reply. "I'll be right there." Spike twisted around the bushes, digging his claws into the windowsill so he could peer inside. Pinkie Pie was calmly trotting down the stairs to see what was up, and Mr. Cake directed her to the pie. "Your friends must really care for you to leave something like this out at this of night." Mr. Cake helpfully informed Pinkie. "Yeah . . ." Pinkie murmured, looking away from him. "Care . . ." "I'll leave you to it." Mr. Cake said, trotting up the stairs. Pinkie approached the cake and sniffed it curiously. She noticed the name tag. Come on, come on . . . Spike prayed in his head. Pinkie took in a deep breath and sighed. She reservedly dug her hoof into the pie, taking out a big scoop of it and taking it into her mouth. In his nervousness, Spike's tail curled it on itself. Pinkie spat the pie out, yelling in disgust as she did so. "BLECH!" Pinkie shook her head, wiping the crumbs off her lips. "That's funny! I thought Twilight LISTENED when I taught her how to bake! Hmmph!" Pinkie turned her head up at the pie. "Clearly, Spike wasn't the only thing she didn't listen to me about!" "Agh, no!" Spike cursed, putting his hands on his head. "That's not what was supposed to happen! . . . and my baking is not that bad!" Pinkie stared angrily at the pie for a bit, then her expression softened. "Unless . . ." Pinkie muttered, cupping her chin. "Unless this pie represents how she feels! Terrible!" Pinkie's eyes watered up briefly, but she blinked the tears away. "No. No. She deserved every word I said that night." Pinkie told herself. She picked the pie up and tossed it, straight into the trash can of the room. "I have nothing to cry for." She added, though it sounded like she was more trying to convince herself rather inform anypony who was listening. Frustrated and unsure what to do, Spike began banging his head on the wall of the Corner. "Spike?" "Hmm?" Spike looked up to see Mr. Cake's head peeking out from the window. "What are you doing here?" Mr. Cake asked. "Isn't a little late for baby dragons to be out?" "Um, well . . . yeah." Spike admitted. "But I have a good reason for it! Honest!" Mr. Cake raised an eyebrow. "Well, if you're that sure of yourself . . ." He pulled the window down. Spike snapped his fingers, still wondering what to do. Thinking back to earlier, he pulled out the letter from earlier and fumbled with it until he found his notes. Pie? Spike read to himself. Tried that. What was next? Oh, right, music! Spike found Rainbow Dash hanging out with the posse she brought to Fluttershy's a few days ago. After explaining he was trying to create a serenade without mentioning who for, they gave him a spare instrument – an old wooden sitar. One of them took an napkin and scribbled the instructions for a soft guitar ballad on it. He gave Spike the napkin and told him to just do it as said. Spike then set about collection a number of buckets and mops, and a cardboard tube. With a bit of glue, he attacked the mop together at their handles, sticking their head into the buckets. He sculpted the cardboard tip into a point and glued it to one of the buckets, which he then threw over a mop head; a makeshift unicorn, with the cardboard as the horn, the buckets as the head and hooves, and mop handles as legs. It would never fool a pony in the day, but under the cover of darkness, its shadow would become indistinguishable to a real unicorn's. Looking at his puppet, Spike scratched his chin. He still needed something. He had an effigy to place like Twilight's body, and a musical instruments for notes, but he was still missing something – the notes! Even as his highest falsetto, his voice would never be mistaken for Twilight's. He needed something to replicate her voice, but what? "Got it." Spike snapped his fingers, then bolted over to Fluttershy's. He knocked on the door. "Hello?" Fluttershy asked, poking her head out. "Oh! Spike! Isn't a little late for you to be out?" "Yeah, yeah, I know." Spike assured her, dismissing her qualms. "Listen, do you have a bird that could flawlessly replicate Twilight's voice?" "Well, I do . . . but . . . why?" Fluttershy asked. "I'm, uh, making a presentation." Spike said, choosing his words carefully. It wasn't a total lie, as from a certain perspective, that could have been exactly what he was doing. "Twilight . . . can't help with it, right now, though, so I was hoping I could have a bird to use her voice?" "Oh. Well, um, I'm not sure why you would need right now at this time of night, but I guess you have your reasons . . . wait right here." Fluttershy went back inside her house, then came back out with a well-kept red bird perch adorably on her nose. "Here you go." Fluttershy lowered her snout, and Spike cupped the bird in his claws. "Her name's Melissa. Be gentle with her." "Don't worry, I will!" Spike told her, holding the bird up high. "Come on, Melissa! You and I have a big thing to do tonight!" Spike jumped off Fluttershy's door-ramp. while Fluttershy herself nervously chattered, biting on her hooves. Sometime later, Spike had everything set up just outside Sugarcube Corner. His unicorn mockup placed firmly in the bushes outside the house, the sitar in his lap, and the bird reading the lyrics he came up with over his shoulder. He forgot to ask Fluttershy, but thankfully the bird was able to read song lyrics, enough so that he plan might work. Spike picked up a rock and, using his all his strength, lobbed it at the window, where it plonked off. Pinkie appeared, pulling the window open to investigate. "Hey, Pinkie Pie!" The bird call, hidden the bushes. Spike jostled the head of his puppet around to simulate the act of talking. "I know I haven't been good to you these last few days, so I thought I would try to make it up to you with a song!" Pinkie sighed, resting her leg on the windowsill. She didn't seem too excited to hear from Twilight again. "Let's hear it." Spike cleared his throat and gave the bird its cue. He began to play the sitar, following the instructions exactly. He wasn't terrible at it for a first-timer. The bird read the lyrics off, imitating Twilight's voice perfectly. Oh, Pinkie Pie, I wish I could make you see, That really, you're the only one for me! I tried to think about some other girls, I really did, But now I realize that you're my whole world! I'm sorry for what I did to Spike, to myself, and to you. I'm sorry for the hay I've put you through. I'm sorry for the way I acted. But please, sweetie, just let me make up to you! I'll shower you in delicious emeralds, ("Delicious emeralds?" Pinkie wondered) And I'll take you to a brand new world! Just say you'll take me back, And we can put this all in the past! I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry I pretended to be fine. Just say you'll take me back, And we can get this relationship back on track! I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry that I liiiied, I'm sorry that I pretended to be fiiiine, I'm sorry for the way I acted, I'm sorry for what I did to Spike, myself, and to you I'm sorry for the hay I've put you through, So just accept that I'm sorry, And we can go on in sweet harmony! "What do you say?" "Twilight" asked when the song was done. Pinkie merely glared angrily at the puppet. "Twilight?" Spike motioned at the bird. "Yeah?" The bird replied, still mimicking. "GO HOME!" Pinkie slammed the window shut so hard, the glass panes cracked. Spike's jaw dropped. That song was totally heart-felt, he wasn't bad at the sitar, and the bird's performance was spot-on to Twilight's voice while still being an excellent singer. What went wrong!? "Well, darn." Spike rued to himself. "Now I've tried everything." In a moment of blind frustration, Spike threw the sitar to the ground. He kicked the puppet into the bushes, and gave Fluttershy's bird instructions to go fly herself back home. After making sure the bird flew in the right direction, Spike bitterly walked himself home. Spike woke up in his bed the next morning, and the first thing on his mind was his next attempt to mend the rift between Twilight and Pinkie. He sprang out of bed, not even thinking about breakfast, and dashed down the stairs. A terrible sight awaited him there. Twilight was still stuck in the wall. And she hadn't moved. Not only had she not moved, she hadn't eaten or drank or slept since he last saw her yesterday. Her face was pale, her ribs were beginning to show, and her eyes were even more bloodshot than the last time Spike saw them open. "T-Twilight?" Spike stuttered. "What?" Twilight asked. "No, no, I didn't do it. D-don't hit me, Daddy." Spike blanked, not sure what to do. "Uuhh . . . why would I hit you, sweetie?" Twilight's eyes bugged out, before returning to their normal size. "I dunno! Ask-ask-ask the seapony . . . or the dolphin, maybe. I think he knows something." Spike blinked, barely able to understand a word she said. "WHAT!?" "The-the dolphin?" Twilight meekly suggested. "I was just saying the dolphin . . . please don't yell at me, daddy, I didn't mean anything by it." Spike tried to calm her down. "I-I won't yell at you, okay, Twilight?" There was a knock on the door. "Who could that be?" Spike wondered aloud. Then he noticed Twilight began to fidget and twitch. "Uhhh . . . I'm going to greet some guests, okay?" Spike added, pretending to be the father he was in Twilight's mania. Spike went to open the door. It was Rarity and Rainbow Dash. "Hello, darling." Rarity cooed at him. "We were hoping to see how Twilight's doing? No pony saw hide nor hair of her yesterday, and we're worried." "Hoo! You should be." Spike stepped aside and gestured to Twilight. "Twilight!?" Rarity exclaimed at Twilight's poor state. She and Rainbow Dash sped towards her, flanking her sides, Dash hovering in the air. "Twilight?" Rarity asked, lightly shaking Twilight's shoulder. "Are you- well, you're obviously not all right, but can you hear me?" "Mama?" Twilight asked, rolling her eyes towards Rarity. "Is that you, Mama? I . . . I'm so cold, Mama . . ." Rainbow Dash was confused, while Rarity frowned. "What's going on?" Dash asked. "She's delusional." Rarity explained. "Sleep deprivation and hunger. For now, I'm going to play along." Rarity looked at Twilight. She embraced Twilight in a hug, patting her head in the hopes it would coax her from the wall. "Shh, shh, baby, it's all right. Mama's here." Spike thought about how, a moment ago, Twilight was calling him "daddy." and now Rarity was "mama." Spike must have passed for "daddy" simply for having a masculine voice, while Rarity passed as mama just for being a female unicorn. "I'm hurting, Mama." Twilight, at long last, finally popped her horn from the wall. She turned and glomped Rarity in a tight hug, crying over the white mare's shoulder. "I know, baby, I know . . ." Rarity soothed her. "Tell Mama what's wrong." "W-would you . . ." Twilight sniffed. "Read me a bedtime story, Mama?" "Of course, dear. What would you like me to read about?" "Tell me one about the prince and the princess." Twilight answered. "Tell me about how the handsome prince saved the beautiful princess, and then they lived happily ever after!" Twilight began pounding her hoof on Rarity's side in anger. Rarity grinned and took it like a champ. "And how the STUPID prince and the STUPID princess don't have to deal with all the STUPID things you have to keep in mind during a STUPID relationship! It's always "happily ever after" in the storybooks, isn't it, Mama!? No, it never goes into detail about all the stupid things you have to do in a relationship! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" "Come on." Rarity lifted Twilight's hoof off her. "Let's go to . . . the ice cream parlor, sweetie." "Ice cream parlor?" Dash and Spike both asked. "Look, she needs to eat something." Rarity told them. "We're taking her to Sugarcube Corner, and we're going to gorge her on healthy pies and such." "Oooh." Spike groaned. "That may not be the best idea . . ." Rarity and Rainbow Dash looked at him oddly. "Why's that, darling?" "Uuhh . . ." Spike struggled to answer. He couldn't tell them why without telling them about Twilight and Pinkie dating, and he couldn't do that because he still wanted to respect Twilight's wishes. "Never mind. Forget what I said. I . . . don't know what came over me. Hehheh!" Spike attempted to deflect with a laugh. Rarity and Dash stared, confounded, before they guided Twilight to the door. Spike followed close behind, ignoring the knots forming in his stomach. The doorbell for the shop rang as Rainbow shoved the door open. She went around held it open so Rarity limp Twilight in there. The sight of Rarity dragging the unraveled unicorn drew stares from the patrons of the bakery, not least of all Pinkie, who was wiping the counter when they came in. "Oh!" Pinkie squealed in delight at the sight of her friends, but she deflated when she saw Twilight. "Hey, girls . . ." "Yes, hello, Pinkie." Rarity said as she drew Twilight to the counter. "I don't mean to be rude, I need . . ." Rarity looked at Twilight, as if examining her to decide what to get. "Well, I'm going to need enough to stuff this poor dear silly, but let's start with a chocolate smoothie, shall we?" "Coming right up!" Pinkie answered, pulling out a glass. Rarity didn't the uncertain strain in the back of Pinkie's bright smile. "No!" Twilight shouted. "No?" Rarity questioned. Spike furrowed his lips. "No, ma'am, I am not a thief!" Twilight insisted, even though nopony accused her of such. "I fully intended to pay!" She placed her hoof on Spike's head. "The monkey here stole my check!" "Monkey?" Spike asked. Of all the things Twilight could have hallucinated him into being, it had to be a monkey? Not a handsome prince or dapper rogue? Pinkie placed a glass full of chocolate, frothy liquid on the counter. "One chocolate smoothie!" Her grin wavered, but once again, Rarity and Dash didn't notice. "Here." Rarity said, levitating the smoothie towards Twilight. "No. No!" Twilight said, aggressively taking the smoothie into her hoof. She jumped onto the counter, somehow balancing herself on her hind legs. She started swinging the smoothie at them like she thought it was a sword. "I'll never betray Celestia and join your assassin's guild!" "What?" Dash scoffed, while Rarity rubbed her chin in thought. "So, Twilight Sparkle!" Rarity growled, playing into Twilight's delusion. "Would you rather die on your blade than join us!?" "Yes!" Twilight shrieked at her. "Then do it!" Rarity taunted. "Eat your blade right now!" "You know what!? I think I will!" Twilight raised her "sword", the smoothie, then stuffed into her mouth, where it sprang from the cup into her throat in a solid lump. "UUMF!" Twilight groaned, reaching her hoof over the lump that formed in her throat. She messaged her neck until it went down, swallowing. She blinked a few times, then collapsed onto all four legs, holding the smoothie with her magic. "Feel better?" Rarity asked, daintily while also sure of herself. "Yeah . . ." Twilight nodded, still rubbing her throat. "Goodness, how long I was out of it?" She turned her head to see where she was, then jumped at the sight of Pinkie. "AAH!" She fell off the counter, but a white flash of teleporting magic filled the air before she hit the floor. Rarity and Dash looked at the empty space where Twilight used to be. Then they lifted their heads up to look at Pinkie, who was grinning nervously. "Pinkie Pie, darling . . ." Rarity said sweetly, yet dangerously. "Twilight had a rather adverse reaction to seeing you . . ." "O-oh?" Pinkie stuttered, sweating bullets "What makes you say that?" "Well . . . I just thought you should know, if it turns out you are somehow responsible for Twilight's poor condition . . . well, I won't be held responsible for how I might react." Rainbow Dash brought her wings together, cricking her feathers the way a mob goon in a movie cracked his knuckles before he roughed someone up. Pinkie continued to sweat and force a smile. Then, like magic, her place at the counter was taken by Mr. Cake, to his Rarity's, Dash's, and even his own confusion. For his part as a restaurant owner, he attempted to take it in stride. "Hello, ladies! Can I, uh, get you anything?" Accepting they were unlikely to find a Pinkie Pie who didn't want to be found, Rainbow and Rarity ordered a pair of vanilla shakes and took a table. Spike was left alone by the counter. "Hello, again, Spike." Mr. Cake addressed him. "Anything I can get you?" Spike pursed his lips. "A ticket to Pinkie Pie's room?" "Oh, I don't know I can give you that, Spike." Mr. Cake said coyly. He shifted his eyes around the room. Spike thought he heard a drawer open and shut. "Here." Mr. Cake whispered, handing Spike what looked like a golden ticket. "It's a Pinkie Voucher, one use only. She'll have to let you in her room. Don't tell her I gave it to you, okay?" Spike took the ticket and nodded. "If you can cheer her up, I'd be grateful." Mr. Cake gestured to the stairs. "She's been so upset these last few days." "Will do." Spike saluted, and went up the stairs. Coming 'round on the blue door that led into Pinkie's room, Spike knocked. "Go away!" Pinkie shouted. "I don't want to see anypony right now!" Spike sighed, then remembered the voucher. He bent down, tongue stuck out, and slid the ticket under the doorway. He heard hoofsteps from the other side of the door. The doorknob clicked and jangled, and the door was open. "How did you get this?" Pinkie demanded, holding the voucher in her hoof. "Uuhhh . . ." Spike tried to buy time for a lie. "Mr. Cake gave it to you, didn't he?" "UUUH . . ." Spike stammered even harder, his eyes widening as he imagined the kind of trouble Mr. Cake was now in thanks to both of their actions. Pinkie let out a frustrated groan. "Uugh! Never mind. I'll deal with him later." Pinkie moved aside and gestured to her bed. "You want to come in?" Spike hopped into the room, leaping onto Pinkie's bed. Pinkie sat down on her haunches next to him, her front hooves pressed firmly into the bed. "What do you want to talk about?" Pinkie asked, looking away shamefully. "Mr. Cake said you've been kind of upset . . ." Spike answered. "And, uh, Twilight's not doing too good without you." "Yeah." Pinkie spat bitterly, crossing her front legs over her chest, and criss-crossing her hind legs. "I noticed that." "Why don't you talk?" Spike offered her. Pinkie gave him a confused look, clearly not sure what he meant. She signed and complied. "Okay, Spike, I'm going to have to tell you something Twilight was never going to tell you. Twilight and I-" Spike held his claw out. "Were dating, I know. She told me everything." Pinkie went slack-jawed. "S-she did?" "Yeah, she did. Are you gonna tell me anything?" Pinkie sighed again, burying her face in her hooves. "Okay. . . okay. I broke up with Twilight because it hurting her. Hurting myself." Pinkie looked at him, then cupped both his cheeks with her hooves. "Hurting you, Spike. Twilight was supposed to spend the whole day with you that night. The WHOLE day, and just like she'd been doing every day of every week, she blew you off to spend more time with me. So . . ." Pinkie sighed yet again. "So I broke up with her. It was obvious she was never going to tell you what was really going on, and I had enough of her lying to you, abusing you, so I quit it. I broke up with her. I-I thought that would fix everything." "And?" Spike coaxed. "It didn't, obviously! I thought I was doing the right thing breaking up with her, but . . . after seeing her like that today . . . I-I'm not so sure anymore. D-do you think I did the right thing, Spike?" Spike looked at the floor for a moment before looking back at her. "Pinkie, I'm going to be honest with you. No, I don't think you did the right thing." "But-" Pinkie stuttered. "She was hurting you! Lying to you! She left you to spend more time with me!" "Yeah, yeah." Spike said. "She admitted what she was doing was wrong. She said she wouldn't tell me what was going on between you two just yet, but she would eventually. She said didn't know if I was ready to hear about, just that she wasn't ready to admit it." "R-really?" Pinkie stammered. Those were her exact words; that she didn't know if Spike was ready to hear about this sort of thing, just that Twilight wasn't ready to admit it. "We split at the restaurant to spend time with both our crushes. I went to Rarity's, she went home . . . to you, Pinkie. We . . . had a mutual understanding." Pinkie froze. Those had been Twilight's exact words last night. "Y-you did?" Spike nodded. "Yup!" "Oh . . . " Pinkie moaned. "Oh, Spike, what I have done!?" Silence permeated the room for a bit as Pinkie came to grips with how cutting she had really been to Twilight last night. Everything she said had been true, and Pinkie didn't believe her. Pinkie cupped Spike's cheeks again. They locked eyes. An understanding seemed to pass from Pinkie's vision into Spike's. "Take me to her, Spike." "Twilight?" Spike called out, stepping into the library. He noticed self-powered feather dusters were dancing about the room, removing and dislocating dust on the shelves, and there seemed to be a mop operated by an invisible pony. Twilight must have enchanted them to work themselves, as without her or him, the library had been accumulating filth. "I'm in here, Spike!" Twilight called back, sounding much healthier and saner (by her standards) than when Spike had heard her last. Spike uneasily made his way into the kitchen, where Twilight was using her magic to twirl some leafy greens on plate laid on the table. "What seems to the problem, Spike?" Twilight asked without so much as looking at him. The refrigerator door was open, and food was being pulled out from it by arcane forces that juggled the foodstuffs through the air. "What'cha doing, Twi?" Spike asked innocently, balancing on his tip-toes. "Oh, just . . . trying to make up for 24 hours without eating or sleeping." Twilight replied causally. "How about you? What are you up to?" She lifted up the fork and barbarically shoved the greens into her mouth, swallowing seemingly without chewing at all. "I have . . . somepony here to see you." Spike said. That piqued her interest, clearly, as she finally turned to look at him. She pushed the plate on the table away from herself. "Who is it?" Twilight asked with concern, trotting towards the door. Spike stepped aside, extending his hand out like he was presenting royalty. Pinkie stepped into the room, taking slow, careful steps. "Pinkie!?" Twilight exclaimed, her eyes widening in shock. "Hi." Pinkie greeted. "I . . . wanted to apologize. Spike came by and told me everything. I'm . . ." Pinkie took in a deep breath. "I'm sorry I tried to break-up with you. I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance to explain yourself. I'm sorry I yelled at you." Pinkie approached Twilight and offered her hoof. "So . . . can we start over?" As it was prone to doing, Twilight's eye twitched with all the mania of damaged machine. She cricked her neck like she was about to rotate her head 360 degrees, then reverted her neck back to its normal tilt. She gave a thin, wispy smile . . . and turned away. "Okay, apology duly noted! You can go home now." Both Pinkie's and Spike's jaws dropped. "What?" Pinkie gasped in awe. "WHAT!?" Spike screamed in outrage. "Come on! After all that crying and wailing you did, when she comes back to apologize, you just blow her off like that!? How does that make ANY Sense!?" Twilight turned back around, and Spike felt like the fury of a hundred rabid wolves was nearly upon him." "Maybe . . ." Twilight hissed, lowering her front body like a predator and encroaching towards Pinkie. Pinkie backed away in fright. "I'm not ready to forgive and forget. Maybe I'm not inclined to forgive a mare who shouted at me, yelled at me, and didn't let me get a word in just as I was FINALLY starting to do what she WANTED me to do! MAYBE I don't WANT TO FORGIVE A MARE WHO STOMPED ALL OVER MY EMOTIONS!" By now, Pinkie had been cowed into the wall, Spike just barely able to keep himself from bolting. "You can go now." Twilight spat at Pinkie. She turned around and went back to bitterly eating her plate, the food from the fridge still shifting around the air. "But-!" Spike protested. Pinkie put a hoof on his shoulder. "It's okay, Spike." Pinkie tried to assure him. "It's . . . probably for the best." Pinkie left the room and went out the door, leaving Spike dumbfounded and, quite honestly, irritated. All that work, Spike thought to himself, and for what? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Spike paced around the room, tapping his head. Okay, okay, think. You can still pull this together, Spike. But how? What do you do? . . . I know! Spike rubbed his claws together, eager to enact a new, fool-proof plan that would be sure to get the two mares back together when all else had failed. After getting all their friends together, Spike explained his plan and what he needed all of them to do. He slightly modified the "why" of what he was doing, to respect Twilight's wishes of secrecy, but all their friends eventually agreed to their roles. However, there was one pony he would need to talk for it to succeed . . . Going back to the fancy restaurant at the other side of town, Spike went in and asked for the manager. "Yes?" A blocky, pale-blue stallion dressed in a suit greeted him. "Vhat . . . zeems to ve ze problem, monsieur?" "Oh, no problem." Spike told him. "But, uh, I was hoping I could ask for a favor?" The stallion eyed him suspiciously. "What kind of . . . "favour?" Spike was amused by his mispronunciation. "Uh, I have two friends who've broken up with each other recently." Spike explained, putting his claws together. "They, um, kind of got together at this restaurant? So I was hoping to kind of . . . pull off this crazy scheme to get them back together here?" The manager seemed resigned, but to Spike's surprise, he agreed. "Oh, very vell." "R-really?" Spike stammered, not believing his luck. "Just like that?" "I've had many a crazy scheme in the name of love committed in this building." The manager explained. "What's one more?" "Yes!" Spike pumped his fist. "Thank you! Now, I'll need you to do a few things . . ." Sometime later, Rarity was dragging Pinkie with Rarity's mouth held firmly on Pinkie's mane to the restaurant. All part of Spike's master plan. "Come on, darling! That business pony won't wait forever!" "This wouldn't be the same business pony whom I went on a date with, is it?" Pinkie asked. Rarity was perplexed of Pinkie's use of a fancy word like "whom", but pressed on. "No, no. This one wants to franchise Sugarcube, not buy it." Rarity told her. "Come on!" "Wait, wait . . ." Pinkie placed her haunches firmly on the ground, noticing Fluttershy dragging Twilight into the same building. "Isn't that Twilight Sparkle?" "Yes, why?" "What's she doing here?" "I have no idea." Rarity said with a straight face. Pinkie grew suspicious, but Rarity's poker face was flawless. "Hmm. Okie-dokie then . . ." She continued to eye Rarity and Twilight with equal amounts of suspicion. "I'm so excited!" Twilight said to Fluttershy, not noticing Pinkie. "A researcher from Fillydelphia wants to look into my work! MY work! Don't you see, Fluttershy? This could be my big ticket into the famous researchers of Equestrian history!" "Oh, my, yes." Fluttershy mumbled. "Yes, it could!" She felt bad about lying to Twilight, but she had to for Spike's plan to work. There was no researcher waiting for Twilight in the restaurant, and there wasn't a business pony looking to franchise Sugarcube Corner either. Once inside, Rarity and Fluttershy both guided their charges to the same table. "Twilight?" Pinkie asked, seeing them approach the same table Rarity had sit at. "Pinkie?" Twilight replied, giving Fluttershy a filthy glare. Fluttershy quivered from her harsh gaze. "What's really going on here, Fluttershy?" "Oh! Um, well . . . I, um, I think I hear Angel calling me. Bye!" Fluttershy bolted out the door faster than Twilight thought was possible "Rarity, what's-" Pinkie turned to demand to ask Rarity the same question, but she was equally gone. "Huh." Pinkie turned to Twilight, who rubbed the back of her neck. "Guess we might as well sit . . ." Twilight said, pulling a chair out. "I guess . . ." Pinkie replied, doing the same. They sat down and lifted up their menus to cover their faces, blocking their gazes from each other. They each waited for the other to come forward, to admit that this was a set-up to get them back together. That the other had staged this whole thing. However, neither came forward, so eventually Twilight threw her menu down and forced the issue. "All right, Pinkie Pie, what's going on here!? Fluttershy told me I was going to meet a researcher from Fillydelphia here!" Pinkie raised an eyebrow. "Really? Rarity told me I was going to meet an business pony here who wanted to franchise the Cakes' enterprise." Twilight raised an eyebrow of her own. "But . . . if it wasn't me, and it wasn't you, then who was-" Twilight fell silent as a realization washed over them both. "Spike." They both realized with a growl. As if on cue, Spike came waddling towards their table. He was dressed in waiter's outfit, wearing a chef's hat and fake mustache. "Bonjour, ladies! Can I take your order?" Twilight and Pinkie glared him. "Um, yes." Twilight said with a faked hesitance. "One order of "What's going on here?" with a side of "What the hay were you thinking!?", please!" "I'm sorry, miss, but I don't dink we 'ave those dishes." Spike said. Twilight slammed her hoof on the table. "Take the mustache off, Spike." "I don't know what you're talking about, miss." Spike said. "That's it!" Twilight lunged over and grabbed the mustache with her hooves, yanking on it and trying to pull it off. "Let- go, Spike!" "Let go of what?" Spike asked, walking up to the table, not wearing any clothes, hats, or mustaches. "W-what?" Twilight blinked, seeing double. Even Pinkie was confused. There was Spike, and then there was a waiter who looked exactly like him, dressed like waiter and with a mustache. "Say!" Spike said, turning to his doppelganger. "Who's this handsome fellow?" Spike began stroking his chin, admiring the near-perfect copy of himself. Twilight awkwardly turned from Spike to his waiter doppelganger, who was impatiently glaring at her, waiting of her to let go of his mustache. "Eh-heh-heh. Forgive me, sir. I . . . thought you were my friend here trying to pull . . . a prank on me, yes." She gestured to Spike, then let go of the copy's mustache, mussing it with her hoof until it looked presentable. "I shall get another waiter for you." The not-Spike growled, huffing and turning away. Twilight and Pinkie didn't the actual Spike follow him around a corner. "I . . . guess he didn't set this up." Twilight admitted, looking towards Pinkie. Pinkie shrugged, as confused as Twilight was. On the other side of the restaurant, by the bathroom doors, the two Spikes conversed. "Oh man! The look on her face! That was perfect!" Spike laughed. "Uh, you can take the costume off." The not-Spike put his claws over his head, and lifted it up to reveal Sweetie Belle's head underneath. Sweetie Belle continued to get out of her costume, revealing that she was wearing stilts to simulate walking on two legs. "Great!" Spike gave Sweetie Belle a pat on the back. "You did perfect, Sweetie Belle. Twilight will never realize it was me who set them up! Haha! You can go now." Sweetie Belle saluted, then left the restaurant, doing her best to avoid detection by the two mares of the hour. "So . . ." Pinkie said, trying to make with the small talk now they were here. " . . . read any good books lately?" "A few. One on string theory, a few on . . . relationships." Twilight looked away, dimly aware of the implications of what she just said. Pinkie sunk into the back of her chair. "There you go again, Twilight. A relationship isn't something you can just . . . control with diagrams and theories like you can control a science experiment!" "You think I don't know that!?" Twilight shot back. "You don't think that after everything we've- I'VE been through with you, you don't think I know the difference between science and an experiment?" "No, Twilight, I don't!" Pinkie roared, slamming her hooves on the table. "Well, fine!" Twilight roared back, doing the same. "And I suppose you don't think I've learned ANYTHING about relationships from our time together, do you!?" "No!" "Well, isn't that great!? Miss "Perfect Pinkie" doesn't think little Tiny Twilight can learn from her mistakes!" Twilight growled. "Mistakes like lying to Spike and being a little sexually forward! Mistakes like getting hooked up with you in the first place!" Pinkie gasped, genuinely hurt. She slowly brought her hoof to her chin. "D-do you mean that, Twilight?" A tear seemed to form in her left eye. "W-was I that bad?" Twilight pointed her hoof, ready to fire another volley of insulting words, but seeing Pinkie's expression. "I . . . no, Pinkie, you weren't that bad. You did what you thought was the right thing to do at the time, and I can't blame you for that. I . . ." Twilight looked at Pinkie again, and she saw her the way she used to, before that date with the business pony. Before Twilight . . . confessed. Back when Pinkie still haunted her dreams and nightmares. "AAAGH!" Twilight turned around and collapsed belly-up on the table. "WHY . . . are you so pretty?" Pinkie giggled. "It's because of my cotton candy hair!" Pinkie cheered. She looked down and blushed. "You . . . don't look too bad yourself." Twilight's eyebrows shot up. "Really? You mean that?" "Well . . . yeah." Pinkie admitted. "Even before we started dating, I've . . . always liked your mane." "R-really?" Twilight stuttered. "No pony's ever told me they like my mane before . . ." "And . . ." Pinkie rubbed the back of her neck. "To be honest, Twilight, I was starting to learn some good lessons from you." "Oh? Like what?" "Well . . . to be a bit more orderly, and . . . a little less messy, for one thing." Pinkie admitted. "I guess I could stand to have more structure in my life . . ." "And I could stand to have more spontaneity in my life." Twilight admitted. "Hhm . . ." Pinkie admitted, smiling softly. Twilight returned the smile for a minute. "And . . . it's so cute how you always get wrapped in a good book." Pinkie added. "And it's wonderful watching you go about cheering ponies up and making them happy." Twilight added. "And it's fun helping you learn new things to write to the Princess about . . ." Pinkie added. "And its nice having an employee discount at Sugarcube Corner." Twilight joked, earning a laugh from both of them. They finished the laugh, then sat there in awkward silence for a minute. Twilight sniffed, thinking of everything Pinkie had done to her in the last 48 hours . . . and everything Pinkie had done for her the last two weeks. Twilight didn't know it, but Pinkie was having a similar thought process; it wasn't Twilight's fault she was borderline crazy. And Pinkie knew several phrases about the blindness and unpredictability of love. They both sniffed one more time, before their whirling, mixed emotions got the best of them. Twilight rolled over and lunged over the table onto Pinkie, wrapping her front legs around her. Pinkie, without even thinking about it, did the same. "PLEASE TAKE ME BACK, SWEETIE!" They screamed in unison. All of the restaurant's other patrons turned to stare at them. "Eh-heh." Twilight laughed nervously while a thin blush painted both her and Pinkie's cheeks. "Move along, folks! Nothing to see here!" With a little convincing, Twilight was able to get all those peering eyes off them, and planted a big one on Pinkie's lips. "Mmmm." Pinkie moaned, genuinely enjoying it. Twilight pulled away, and they lowered their eyelids at each other. "So, does that mean you forgive me?" Pinkie asked arrogantly. Twilight flushed, but held strong. "Do you forgive me?" Pinkie giggled. "Of course I do . . ." Pinkie cupped Twilight's cheek. "Sweetie." Twilight smiled brightly. Spike was in the library, sitting on a chair, reading a book about gems and how to get the maximum flavor out of them. He heard the door swing open, and instantly tossed his book aside, scampering to the door. Twilight and Pinkie had come home. "So how did it go?" Spike asked, putting his claws together. "It went fine." Twilight answered, taking Pinkie into her hoof. They shared a nuzzle, which made Spike want both coo and gag at the same time. "Pinkie and I made up." "And then we made out." Pinkie coyly added. "And then we made out." Twilight reservedly admitted. "So . . ." Spike drawled. "Everything's fine, then?" "Yeah . . . well, almost." Twilight narrowed her eyes at him, and Pinkie did the same. Twilight began pacing the room like a predator on the hunt. "Except for the tiny little fact that you set us up!" "What!?" Spike exclaimed, partly out of feigned shock, partly of genuine shock. That bit with Sweetie Belle in costume pretending to be him was supposed to persuade them both he had nothing to do with it! "I saw Sweetie Belle getting out of her costume." Twilight explained. "Oh." Spike replied. "Ooooh . . ." "I appreciate you trying to get us back together, Spike." Twilight said. "I really do. But setting us up like that was a serious violation of both of our trusts, and disregard for our feelings!" "Come on, Twilight!" Spike groaned. "You should have seen yourself! You were wasting away without her!" "I know, I know." Twilight said, holding a hoof out. "But Pinkie and I had a long talk about it, and we came to a conclusion. The only proper punishment . . . is a spanking." Spike's eyes bugged out. "What!?" He turned to Pinkie, who had saved him last time Twilight wanted to spank him. "Pinkie, aren't you going to do something!?" "No." Pinkie said, resting her head on her hoof. "Honestly, Spike, I think you need to be taught a lesson about respecting other ponies' feelings . . . I don't think spanking is the best way to do that, to be sure, but I couldn't offer anything better. But it's just this once, Spike. Look at this way; you're getting your most severe punishment now because I'm fully integrated into the family, your punishments are going to be a lot less harsher, so one last hurrah for Twilight's stricter methods!" Twilight glared at Pinkie. "What does that mean, "stricter methods"!?" Pinkie grinned. "Never mind. Bend over, Spike." Spike sighed and turned around resigning to his fate. He supposed he may as well let Twilight get in her one last use of the strictest punishment ever. Twilight picked up him with magic, presenting his buttocks towards herself. Spike closed his eyes, bracing for impact. A moment later, he heard a solid "thunk" . . . but he didn't feel a thing. "Is-is it over?" Spike asked, trying to around. Twilight's magic dissipated around him, and he fell to the floor. He righted himself and turned around, to see Twilight's clutching her red, raw, throbbing hoof. "Yes, Spike." Twilight let out a pained groan. "It's over." "Ooh, baby!" Pinkie ran up to Twilight and brought the raw hoof over to her. "What did you do?" "Dragon . . . scales." Twilight groaned out. She covered her face in shame. "I forgot to take into account the dragon scales!" "So, so let me this straight," Spike said, struggling to hold back his laughter. "By spanking me, you hurt your hoof on my scales . . . while I didn't feel a thing!?" Spike fell over with laughter now freely flowing from his vocals. "Ha ha ha. Yes. By spanking you, all I do is hurt myself. Yeah. Great lesson to write to the Princess. Now can we please focus on fixing my throbbing hoof!?" "You want me to kiss it and make it better?" Pinkie earnestly offered. "No! I'm not a foal, Pinkie Pie-!" Pinkie gave a disbelieving stare. Twilight blushed and turned away. "Yes." Pinkie brought the hoof to her mouth and gave it a smooch. Twilight didn't understand, but her hoof did start to feel better. "Heh. Kissing it to make it feel better?" Spike mocked. "What are you, children?" Twilight gave him a harsh, unforgiving stare, but Pinkie cupped Twilight's cheek and made Twilight look at her. Twilight lightened up, and they all shared laughter.