//------------------------------// // Chapter 6: Time to blow the place? // Story: Fallout: Equestria - Memories // by TheBobulator //------------------------------// Chapter 6: Time to blow the place? “How dare you take the cake!” “Okay, up this service tunnel here,” Tabber told us as we followed him. About halfway up the tunnel, there was a large section of roof that had collapsed, blocking our progress. However, next to it was a large gaping hole that led into the darkness beyond. We stopped at the edge and looked down. “This is where Seapony Energy stops and the sewers begin.” With an impossible amount of grace, he jumped into the hole and landed several meters down in the darkness with a heavy thump. “Well, lasses first,” Baked said, motioning me to follow. I rolled my eyes. “Chicken.” I flapped my wings and descended into the darkness. “Hey, can you turn on a light?” I asked Tabber when I landed next to him. It was hard to tell what was going on behind that gas mask, but I assumed he had a glare for me back there. Instead, he attached a gently glowing blue gem to one of the mask’s eye holes. “I’m going to take that as a no.” “Whee!” Doc cried as he jumped in after us. He magically levitated a procedure mask out and fastened it to his face. Both of us gave him a strange look. “What? It’s a sewer. I don’t want to catch a two hundred year old disease.” Our attention was diverted by Rumcake joining us in the relative darkness. He landed with a heavy crunch and turned on his headlamp. “I don’t know how you fairies jump with such grace,” he grumbled. “I don’t think the armor was designed with acrobatics in mind.” Baked immediately demonstrated this by hitting the ground face-first with a loud crash. “Me spine!” he cried loudly, flailing his armored limbs in the air. Doc paced over and placed his glowing horn against Baked’s armor. “You’re fine, you giant wuss,” he observed, shaking his head. “Now get up so we can actually get going.” He grudgingly helped Baked get to his hooves. “If you bumbling idiots are ready, their base should be this way,” Tabber growled exasperatedly. Baked Potato turned on his headlamp as well, providing additional illumination to the arched tunnel ahead of us. We proceeded to follow the small elevated path along the right edge. “How do you know where we’re going?” I asked skeptically. “I thought all you did was place traps up there.” I indicated the Seapony Energy tunnels we’d recently left behind. “What do you think I did after they decided the tunnels were too dangerous to be any good?” he growled irritably. We kept walking down the tunnel, apparently ignoring all the other branching sections. “I waited for the last stragglers to leave and I followed them. Turns out they’re much faster when they’re scared.” “Ye don’t say!” Baked said sarcastically. I giggled as Baked continued, “Of course they’re runnin’ scared! They’re no-good slavers!” He probably had a point. I started looking around the tunnel and noticed that the drab brown walls were sporadically smeared with blood and pockmarked with bullet holes. Every few feet the blood smears gave way to some very cryptic and very disturbing graffiti. The walls themselves were old and cracked, and if there was supposed to be water, there was only dirt in the central area. We turned right into one of the branches. “Now we’re entering the slavers’ territory,” Tabber told us. “Keep your guard up. There’s enough side passages and tunnels to hide an ambush.” I carefully reloaded my SMG and Doc magically drew one of his bonesaws. “Hey, I’ve got a burning question I’ve been waiting to ask you, Doc,” I said while the Rangers deployed their massive guns. “Why is it called a bonesaw?” “Uh… you use them to… saw. Bones,” he explained, confused. “Ergo, bonesaw.” “Why not a hacksaw?” I continued, waving my claw as if I was holding a bonesaw. “Because you hack at things. And it’s a saw.” Doc rolled his eyes and shrugged. “Whatever. I’m calling it a bonesaw.” A grin formed on his face and he drew five more bonesaws with his magic. “Would you care for a demonstration?” He laughed maniacally, brandishing several of them at me. I eeped and immediately bolted to the ceiling. Everypony laughed and relaxed a bit while I blushed from my hiding place on the ceiling. “Okay, let’s keep going before Stitches disassembles somepony.” Tabber smirked, opening a side gate. “Careful. Watch your step,” he whispered in a more serious tone. “Keep it down. I’m not sure if the guards actually pay attention to whatever’s going on down here, if there are guards.” “Why would they guard the sewer?” Doc whispered back. “There isn’t anything good down here, so why would they guard it?” Doc made a good point. If they knew the tunnels weren’t safe, why didn’t they just barricade it up? “I would assume the tunnels down here lead to other encampments or areas they still want to go to,” Rumcake replied. “Now, shut up.” We quietly snuck around to a service ladder that ended with a hatch. “Are we ready?” he asked us. There was a round of muffled clacking and snapping as we all double-checked our weapons. On second thought, I assembled my sniper rifle and slung it across my back. “Okay, now I’m ready.” “Wait—when did you get that rifle back?” Rumcake asked. Caught off guard, I defaulted to, “Don’t worry about it.” Rumcake grunted. “We will have words.” “Hold up. Help me take this mess off,” Tabber whispered urgently. Doc immediately went over and started unbuckling and unstrapping Tabber’s armor. “Ah, that feels better.” He sighed as he dropped the last of the steel plates. Underneath all of that he was wearing black and dark blue light barding reinforced with some duct tape. His saddlebags were integrated into his barding for a seamless attachment. “Why’d ye drop the armor?” Baked asked. “Ye coulda used it in a fight.” “I’m not for heavy armor,” Tabber replied. “I rely on stealth. The armor is for the metaphorical plan ‘B’. Stitches knows.” Everypony turned to Doc for confirmation. “Oh yeah, he’s a real silent assassin. Well, sometimes he’s more like a rogue asset. Anyway, he’s good at what he does,” Doc explained. “Now, all of you stay quiet. I’m going to go check what’s up there.” He climbed up the ladder and carefully pushed the hatch open. He climbed out and we heard a loud snapping sound, following by a heavy, meaty thump. “All clear. Quiet now.” We all climbed out of the hatch one at a time and gathered around it. We were standing in a small steel room accompanied by a very dead slaver lying on the floor. The walls were grimy and covered with illegible scrawling all over the walls. There was one door in the room that had a tiny viewing slot and a bar across it. “Well, he’s dead,” I stated blandly. “Now what?” “Okay, here’s the plan,” Rumcake said. “Doc and I are going to go into the base and see what we can find.” He grudgingly started taking off his armor as he continued. “Somepony strip the slaver and give me his barding. Frosty and Agent Tabber will go stealthy.” Tabber calmly nodded and checked his equipment. “Baked, you’re on guard duty. Watch my armor and the door.” Baked saluted and somehow folded the armor up very neatly. “Hey!” I protested. “Why do I have to go with him?” “Look, you’re the only other one of us with any semblance of stealth training,” Rumcake calmly replied. “I’d love to send Doc with him, since Doc’s worked with him before.” He shot a quick glare at Doc. “…But you’re too obvious to be out in the open. A pegasus just stands out too much to be undercover.” I grudgingly agreed with him. “So you’re the only obvious pairing.” Rumcake started pulling on the slaver’s patchy barding. “That smells… unhygienic.” Doc stammered unhelpfully. “Are you sure you want to do that?” Rumcake struggled to pull on the barding while keeping his pink mane under control. His chestnut coat really clashed with the slaver’s dark mostly-purple barding. “It’ll be less obvious than a Steel Ranger walking around,” he replied. “Okay, everypony know the plan?” We all nodded. “We’ll go first, then wait fifteen and go.” Rumcake unbarred the door and poked his messy pink mane out. “If all goes to hell, bring my armor to me.” He looked around. “All clear. Let’s go.” Doc and Rumcake darted out and disappeared into the darkness and commotion of the night. Wait, what? It was already night? After waiting a short bit, Tabber gently tugged my wing. “Let’s move. Stay low, don’t be seen.” I nodded and followed him out into the base. Baked waved us goodbye and shut the door leading to the sewers behind us. The further we moved, the louder the noise got. The base was loud with the commotion of violence, sex, conversations, and shady deals. We dashed down a small alley and crouched in the darkness. “How much can you carry?” he asked me with a hushed whisper. “I can carry you for a short distance, if that’s what you’re asking,” I hissed back. “Why?” “Good.” He adjusted his gear a little and pulled out a silenced pistol in his teeth. “Get me up to that rooftop,” he grunted through his pistol’s bit. I looked up. The roof was at least five floors up, but there was a giant hole around the third floor where I could probably take a break, if I needed to. “Fine.” I flapped my wings and quietly floated over Tabber, making sure I wasn’t making too much noise. I wrapped my forelegs around his shoulders and under his forelegs and started flapping harder. “Gah! You’re really heavy!” I groaned as I attempted to gain altitude. “What the hay do you eat? Lead bars?” “Chickens like you. Keep flying,” Tabber shot back. With much effort and a few minutes of flapping, I managed to drop him off on the third floor of the building we were standing next to. “Oh well, I guess we can take the stairs to the top.” “You… are… so. Bucking. Heavy,” I panted, fully exhausted. I didn’t even want to move after flying him up this far! I just laid on the ground, wings outstretched, panting heavily. “Why… are you… so… heavy?” Wings… hurt… so… much. “What can I say? Interdimensional saddlebags.” He grinned at me. “Thanks. Now c’mon you big foal. Let’s go.” I glared at him from my spot on the floor and grudgingly got up. “Let’s get to the roof and figure out what’s going on here.” We located the rickety stairs and stealthily climbed up to the roof. There was definitely no way I was flying his lazy flank up there after I had to cart him around this many rooftops. I took a moment to catch my breath before pulling myself up for a quick peek at where we were. “Woah,” I breathed. We hadn’t breached a slaver base—we’d breached one of their bucking fortresses! They’d taken over about two city blocks and fortified it to the moon and back! The walls were massive and heavily guarded, and the two gates on opposite sides had large cannons attached to them. As for the buildings themselves, some sort of slaver motif was liberally applied all over, except for what appeared to once be the post office. Various sections of the slaver's territory were very lit up and some were more abuzz with sound than others. “Looks like the post office is now their headquarters,” Tabber told me. “At least these are Red Eye’s slavers,” he continued, pointing out the banners hanging from the roof. “Hopefully there’ll be somepony willing to just let us walk right in.” “Wait, what?” I asked incredulously. “Why would they let us just walk in?” “They’re always spouting their whole Unity crap. It’s great cover to just walk in saying you want to join, only to kill the leader here,” Tabber whispered back, surveying the area. “Oh shit, get down!” he urgently hissed at me. Both of us ducked down and flattened ourselves against the roof right as a dark purple blur landed on the roof of the post office. “What was that?” “Dammit… Red Eye’s got alicorns posted here.” “Alicorns? Goddesses like Celestia?” “No. Not really.” Tabber scooted closer and whispered to me, “They’re false goddesses. They’re like… re-engineered… things. Basically, they’re super smart, super fast, super strong, and they can telepathically talk to each other.” “Okay, so they’re invincible,” I summarized. “Great. What’s the plan now?” Invincible alicorns, slaver strongholds, and a bucking sewer line. This couldn’t get any more ridiculous. “Well… let’s just say they’re damage resistant.” He chuckled and tossed me a cylindrical sapphire gem with a hole bored through it.. “Here. It’s got a velocity enchantment on it, I think.” I examined it and noticed it would probably fit on my rifle. How oddly convenient. “Extra speed should give you that extra punch you need for instakills.” “Where did you get this from?” I asked. It looked really custom-made, and really expensive. “One does not simply find upgrades.” “Pulled it off a Hoofington assassin that tried to kill me this one time.” He dug around in his bags and pulled out a pair of orange sunglasses. “Got these off him too.” We sat there in silence, waiting for the alicorn to leave. Tabber broke the awkward silence by saying, “So… a monster, eh?” I grimaced and buried my face in my hoof. “It was dark, and hard to see. I panicked!” “Mooooooonster.” He stifled a laugh. “That’s going in the record books.” I rolled my eyes and then cautiously poked my head over the edge of the roof. “Hey. It’s gone,” I whispered to Tabber. He poked his head out too. “Now what?” “Hm. Maybe we should have thought this plan through a bit more.” “What do you mean?” “You have any idea what your Ranger friend and Stitches are up to?” I shrugged. “No idea. Why?” I replied, then faceclawed. We’d split up without actually coming up with a strategy on what we were doing. We had no way to contact the other team, and we had no idea we were supposed to be doing. “Wait. Dammit.” “Exactly. If we just do recon, we have no way of telling them what we’ve found.” “And sabotage is out of the question in case we accidentally blow them up,” I finished. “Exactly.” We laid on the roof in silence, listening to the commotion of the slavers arguing amidst each other. “I say we go blow up their HQ. It’ll probably shut down the turrets and most of whatever security they have running.” I pointed out a communication tower behind the post office building. “There’s a comms relay there. If we shut that down, they can’t call for help.” He nodded in agreement. “Anything else you want to break before we level the post office?” Wait. What were we doing? “Why are we blowing up this post office? Didn’t we agree that sabotage was a bad idea?” “I lied.” He pointed out a fenced-off area with a shoddy tin roof. “With that many guards, that has to be interesting.” I took out my anti-material rifle and peered through the enchanted sight. “It looks like some kind of ammo dump or something.” I spied a few locked safes and containers, among massive piles of ammunition and explosives. “Yep. It’s their armory all right, and it’s fully stocked with explosives.” I took a closer look at some of the guards. They weren’t very attentive and frankly didn’t look like they really want to be there. “If you’re really stealthy, we could probably demolish the armory easily. But why the post office?” I pressed. “I say we kill the guards, steal some ammo and maybe a few guns, and rig the place for a distraction,” Tabber said. “We disable the communications tower and then plant some explosives around the hall.” He put away the glasses and took out a bag with a bunch of wires and a timer attached to it. “Here. Hold onto a few of these.” I unquestioningly took the three bags he gave me and shoved them into my saddlebag. “What are they, exactly?” I asked him. “Satchel charges, all wired to a single detonator I have. Once they’re all set, we’ll have two minutes to clear the area.” He flashed a small device at me and put it away. “Now, let’s go crash this castle.” “Why are we doing this again?” I hissed at him angrily as he scooted away. ~~~~~ We managed to sneak our way to the armory by a combination of jumping, flying, and in my case, carrying Tabber to other rooftops. “Why do… I have… to carry you… everywhere?” I gasped, dropping him heavily onto yet another roof. “I can’t keep flying you around.” “You’re more convenient,” he flatly stated. “Now get down.” I flopped onto the rooftop and waited for Tabber to give another signal. “Okay, we haven’t been spotted yet.” We were now lying on the building right next to the armory, most likely waiting for the guards to pass. “Let’s go. One last one. It’s just a hop, skip, and a jump.” “Ugh,” I groaned. I picked him up and quickly took off, flying over the armory’s fence and unceremoniously crashing into a pile of saddlebags that were… apparently there for fence-vaulting intruders to land on. “Ow! Okay, no more flying!” I hissed softly as I attempted to untangle myself from the lumpy bags we’d landed in and from Tabber and his gear. “Nice landing,” he growled sarcastically. “Did you make sure every slaver in the stronghold heard us?” “Hey!” I protested. “I think I sprained my wing flying you around!” I carefully flapped my wings and winced when a twinge of pain shot through my right wing. “Ow, ow, ow.” Both of us froze as voices from the other side of the fence floated over to us. “Oi! Wot’s the big ruckus ‘boot?” an angry, male voice shouted. “Wot’s you doin’ back there?” “Shut yer trap, mate. Breaka’ musta been lazin’ off ‘gain. It’s prolly just a box fallin’ ova,” somepony else replied lethargically. “Go check it then, ya bloody git!” the first voice shouted back. Crap! We looked around and dove for cover between two large crates, one of which was labeled explosives. I started to move somewhere else, but Tabber grabbed me and put a hoof across my muzzle. “Wait for him to come to us,” he whispered in my ear. We both huddled together in silence, barely even breathing. Something was uncomfortably wedged in my back as we lay in wait. “Hey, move your pistol. It’s poking me in my back.” I squirmed about a little in an attempt to dislodge whatever it was. “That’s not my pistol,” he grunted, holding his silenced pistol in his teeth. I looked up at him and paled. “Then what’s…” I shuddered. Please, let it no— “It might be my flashlight,” he calmly told me as he shifted a little. “I really hope it’s your flashlight,” I grumbled. “Me too. Now lower your head,” he whispered. I obliged and he propped the pistol on my head. “Perfect. Don’t move.” I growled irritably again. “I should have seen that coming.” We continued to sit there, listening to the slaver grumbling and complaining to himself. Tabber picked up a stone from the ground and tossed it, causing it to bounce off an ammo box and make a loud clacking sound. “Eh? Wot’s that?” the slaver mumbled. We heard him stomping over and continuing to mutter to himself. The slaver had messy blue hair and grimy gray coat that looked flea-ridden and patchy. Strangely enough, the generic military barding that he was wearing was in near-perfect condition. His particular choice in face paint happened to be a big red X all over it. “Now stand over there,” Tabber lowly whispered. I felt a thump from the top of my head, followed by a quiet pop, then the slaver collapsed on the ground with a clean hole through the side of his face. “Okay, he’s dead. Nice shot.” We jumped out of our hiding spot and I reflexively shook myself. “Time to blow the place?” “Get some ammo first. Try not to pick up more guns, though,” Tabber whispered as he took out some of his satchel charges. “Meet you back here in three. If you meet any guards, remove them. Silently!” I nodded and immediately went to work trying to find more ammo for my rifle. Let’s see… Some five fifty-sixes… seven sixty-twos… nine mill’s… Aha! Twelve point seven, my size of bullet! I immediately scooped up all fifteen bullets and shoved them in my bag. Next to them on a shelf was a blue-lined box with five more anti-material rifle bullets in it. I shrugged and looted those too. As I passed the other shelves with other ammo types, I mumbled to myself, “Oh, what the hell.” I started scooping ammo and two or three various rifles and shotguns into another saddlebag I’d picked up from the pile we landed in earlier. Might as well, right? “What did I say about stealing everything?” Tabber hissed at me. “We need to move. Charges have been set.” I scraped the last of the magazines and bullets into the bag and followed Tabber to a small hole in the fence. “Through here!” I pulled myself through the small hole and wriggled my way out the other side, immediately dashing to the shadows. Tabber quickly joined me and looked up at the roof. “Oh no, I’m not flying you up there,” I said, catching his look. “We’re walking, like it or not. Sprained wings are not fun to fly on.” “I understand. Fine, stay to the shadows and follow me. Do not move until I move. Understand?” Tabber said. I nodded, and for the next few pulse-pounding minutes we snuck our way back onto the rooftops and all the way over to the side of the building with the comm tower on it. “Unless you have a better plan, speak now or forever hold your peace,” he remarked, peeking through the window of the building. “Two on the radio, one next to the door,” he relayed. I smashed in the window and opened fire with my SMG into the room. Thanks to the freeze spell (hey, I forgot I had that!), the surprised slavers didn’t even have time to react before they were frozen, killed, or a combination of the above. “Problem solved!” I happily exclaimed. Tabber facehoofed and sighed. “All the ruckus is great for loud assassinations.” “Come on, let’s go before somepony notices,” He sighed and tossed a satchel charge through the window. Then we picked up a large sheet of plywood out of a nearby scrap heap to cover the window. “That should do it.” “Okay, how do we get to the post office from here?” I asked him, diving into yet another alley with Tabber. We’d deployed two sets of explosives in the base, ready for a distraction just in case so— Alarms started blaring all over the base. “Oh buck! Did they find the bodies?” Tabber cried in panic. Wait… bodies, plural? “Let’s see what they’re up to first. Hopefully it’s your Ranger buddies and Stitches messing up. Can you get us on that roof?” I exhaled and flapped my wings experimentally. “Calm down. That’s what, two floors?” He nodded. “I think I can do that.” I grabbed him once again and arduously flapped into the air. About halfway up, a familiar pink mane dashed into the alley right across from us behind a fence. “Hey, secret agent stallion, I think I found Rumcake and Doc.” I nudged Tabber and pointed with one of my hind legs. “Get us over there,” he commanded. I obliged and careened over to the alley and dropped down next to them. “What the buck did you idiots break?” he asked Rumcake in a completely annoyed tone. “Hey! It wasn’t really me this time. Doc gave us away when he tried to raid their medical supplies for some kind of project,” Rumcake told us. “What have you two been up to?” “Planting explosives,” I replied. “Tabber’s got some really cool toys in his bags.” “Okay, but where’s Stitches?” Tabber asked. I looked around. Good point, where was Doc? He wasn’t with Rumcake, and we hadn’t seen him lately… “We got separated. He’s headed toward the center because nopony would expect it,” Rumcake informed us. “We’ll meet up again at the sewer.” “I’m not letting that idiot out of my sight,” Tabber shouted. “I’m not owing favors to any dead ponies. I’m going after him.” I grudgingly agreed. “Doc mostly saved my life once, so I guess I’m going too.” “Crap. Fine, let’s get the good doctor back.” Rumcake sighed. “I need a weapon.” I tossed my ammo and gun laden bag at him. “Take your pick.” He picked out an assault rifle and gripped it firmly in his teeth. I helped him attach the belt feed to his back and loaded it. “Ihm reddy,” he grunted through the rifle’s bit. “Let’s blow this place sky… bucking… HIGH!” Tabber shouted gleefully as he mashed the detonation button, highlighting the night behind him with the flames and shrapnel of the two explosions. “Yeeeah!” ~~~~~ As we charged down a now-deserted side-street, I had the time to ask Tabber, “Hey, I thought you had the explosives wired for two minutes, not two seconds.” As amazing as that was, If we were going to take down a building, I didn’t feel like dying from faulty explosives. “There’s an alternate setting for instant detonation!” he answered. “How far are we from the post office?” I stopped for a second and risked leaping into the air for a quick hover, regardless of the niggling twinges in my wing. After orienting myself with the surrounding architecture, I managed to get a pretty good idea of where we were. “We need to turn right, then head down three blocks and it’s on our left,” I informed Tabber and Rumcake once I landed. “Let’s go! Clock’s ticking!” Tabber shouted back. “We’re bound to be spotted eventually!” We dashed along, this time completely ignoring stealth. An unlucky slaver that strayed a bit too close to us received a free grenade to the face, courtesy of me. I kept a keen eye out for somewhere we could hole up or defend. “We’re here! Into the whatever that door is!” I yelled, pointing out a small door built into the base of the building. I rammed into the door as fast as possible with my shoulder and thankfully broke it down without too much self-injury. “Anypony see us coming in?” “Don’t think so,” Tabber replied. He started bracing the door with a bookcase in the room. “Better safe than sorry, though. Help me with this, big guy.” Rumcake grudgingly moved over to help, and I looked around the room we were now trapped in. We’d jumped into a sub-basement or something of the post office. The bookshelves around us were covered in mostly-destroyed books and scrolls, probably important in another age. Surprisingly, the walls here were dirty but thankfully free of poorly-scribbled insults and other colorful graffiti. Heck, if the walls and floor were a bit cleaner, it could be like nothing ever happened. “What’s with this place?” I muttered. “It’s kinda creepy.” “What?” Tabber panted, out of breath. “Oh wow,” he continued, finally looking back at the room. “It’s almost like a little time capsule, huh.” Rumcake coughed. “It needs a dusting,” he complained, sniffing and rubbing his nose. I smiled and intentionally swept up a bunch of dust from the ground. “Hey!” He sneezed and whined, “That’s not cool!” “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I coyly grinned. “Let’s see what kind of havoc we can wreak here.” I surveyed the room a little more. “Anypony see a set of stairs anywhere?” I wandered around the room and attempted to find a stairway leading up. “We could always blast our way upstairs,” Rumcake said. He hefted his new assault rifle and pointed it at the ceiling in front of us. “We could bring the upstairs to us.” The rest of us facehoofed. “What? I think it’s a great idea.” I walked around to the back of the room and noticed a set of double doors set into the wall. “Hey! Over here,” I called to the Rangers. They both plodded over to me and stared at the doors silently. I hopped over a broken bookshelf and pushed at it. “Dammit. I think it’s stuck. Can I get some help?” Rumcake stomped through the broken bookshelf and aided me in trying to open the doors. “It’s not budging,” Rumcake grunted. “Let’s blow it up.” “Hey idiots.” Tabber pushed a button on the wall and the doors opened, causing us to suddenly fall into it. “It’s a bucking elevator.” I pushed Rumcake off me and got up. “Now don’tcha feel silly?” Rumcake got up and pushed a button next to the doors. “Shut up, merc.” Tabber jumped in and mashed the button as well. “Hopefully the power here still works.” The entire room lurched and a loud buzz rang through it. Momentarily, smooth jazz began to warble from the solitary speaker built into the wall. Before I could really get into the groove of the music, there was a soft dinging sound and the doors slid open, revealing a bloody, grimy, dilapidated atrium. “We’re here,” Rumcake grumbled and stepped out. “We gotta find Doc. That’s probably the hardest thing to do right now.” “I really hate to do this, but I’m going to go off and start planting explosives,” Tabber whispered. “I’ll meet you here in about ten minutes.” With that, he melted into the shadows and disappeared. “How does he do that?” Rumcake whispered to me. I shrugged. “Well, let’s get to the roof and see if we can find Doc with that rifle of yours.” I obediently nodded and followed him up the stairs in the center of the room with my SMG clamped between my teeth. I heard voices coming from behind a steel door. I nudged Rumcake and motioned at the door. “Somepony’s back there.” “Quietly,” he whispered, moving closer to the door. We tiphoofed closer to the door and I pressed my ear against it. “I’ll cover you.” I nodded and closed my eyes, trying to focus on the conversation inside. “…find ya buddies n’ kill all of you,” a raspy voice yelled. I shook my ear and tried to find a thinner spot on the door to listen through. “…ou workin’ fer?” “Nopony, really,” the familiar voice of Doc calmly drawled. “Again, I’m just here on business.” He laughed jovially and stopped when something slammed into a hard surface. “Doc’s in there!” I urgently hissed at Rumcake. I turned my attention back to the exchange inside the room. Rumcake was doing something behind me, but I was too focused on what was happening in that room. “…would that be?” the slaver finished. Doc laughed again. “Tell me, ya useless shitbag!” Doc only laughed harder. “Untie me and maybe I’ll consider it.” The slaver cursed angrily and picked something up. “You know what they say about stallions with big axes…” Doc continued laughing. “You know, you really shouldn’t have let me down the painkillers.” Before anything else could happen, the door suddenly exploded away from my ear and disappeared. I crouched there, frozen in shock as Rumcake flew through the doorway and punched the offending slaver clear through the window opposite of the doorway. What. “That was awesome!” I cried. “Where’d you learn that from?: “From a really old action movie I saw,” Rumcake muttered. “Yo Doc, you don’t look so good.” Doc was tied down to a chair, his horn covered with some sort of cone. He’d been repeatedly bludgeoned and cut, but he’d managed to patch up what looked like a few serious wounds. “Yeah, yeah. Help me out, will ya?” he groaned. “I thought you’d never show up.” I picked up his bags and bonesaw harness and handed it over to him. “Thanks.” He pulled the cone off his horn and smashed it. “It’s great using magic again. Thanks for the save.” He sighed, levitating the harness onto himself. “How’d you get captured?” I asked, looking out the broken window. I got a good look at the pandemonium outside in the camp itself. “I got cornered, and then bluffed my way into not getting killed,” Doc explained. “Not much to it, really. They decided to try to interrogate me, and then you two saved me. That’s pretty much it.” He stumbled around the room and dug around in the desk across from where he was tied up. He levitated some vials into a pouch on his coat. “You got everything?” Rumcake asked. Doc nodded and tightened his coat. “Let’s go.” Both of us followed him out to the stairwell again. “Where’s the insane bombomaniac?” “What’d I miss?” Tabber grumbled. I shrieked in fright and jumped onto Rumcake. Doc was only mildly surprised when Tabber decided to show up. “Not much. We got Doc back,” Rumcake replied, nonplussed. “As adorable as this is, now’s not the time. You can let go of me now,” he whispered to me. I let go of his neck and blushed in embarrassment. “Sorry.” “We gotta run. Charges are set, we’ll have two minutes after your mark.” Tabber looked to Rumcake for a reply. “Where to?” “We need to go back to the sewer. I’ve had enough adventure for today, and we’ve caused enough damage at this point, I think,” he answered. “Let’s go.” We dashed down the stairs, and for some reason, opened the large ornate doors that lead right out of the front entrance. We managed to get halfway down the staircase when suddenly dozens of slavers came pouring out of various hallways, buildings, windows, and tunnels around the four buildings surrounding the post office. Unfortunately for the rest of us, every single one of them was heavily armed. “I think it’s safe to say we’re surrounded,” I observed. “We have you surrounded,” a very angry voice shouted. Well, no shit. “Drop your weapons and put your hooves over your head. You think you’re in control of the situation, but you’re not. Believe me when I say: we will not give up.” I looked around at the assembled slavers. Mostly assault rifles, rifles, SMGs, and pistols. All the way in the back, nearly half a block away, a very fancily dressed griffon wearing full-blown pre-war parade regalia grinned in self-centered satisfaction. “What’s the plan?” I urgently whispered to Rumcake. Doc and Tabber looked to him as well. We were totally surrounded, next to no cover, and definitely outmatched. “The plan? Kill them all,” Rumcake muttered. The slaver leader continued counting down. “Tabber, we’ll provide covering fire so you can flank them. Start from the building on the right and work your way around.” He nodded and dipped a hoof into his bag. “Frosty, take cover behind the short wall around the building. Take out anypony that’s got a longer reach than you.” I started looking around, trying to identify the slavers armed with sniper rifles. “Doc, I need you to keep us not dead.” He nodded and immediately injected Rumcake with a painkiller. “Thanks. If we don’t survive this, it’s been an honor operating with all of you. Who dares, wins.” He saluted to us, and we saluted back. A final stand, eh? I like it. It’s very cinematic. I’d rather it not be my last, brain. Rumcake opened fire right into the slavers’ front lines, catching them by surprise. The rest of us took cover behind the little wall in front of the post office. I pulled up my rifle and propped up the bipod against the wall. “Covering in three?” I yelled to the rest of our group. Doc dove into cover next to me and pulled out a shotgun with his magic. I popped out of cover while Rumcake opened fire. Doc was blasting away next to me, and I took a deep breath. One. I took careful aim right at the largest, shiniest badge pinned to the griffon’s jacket. Two. I checked my peripheral vision for any potential bullets headed in my direction. Three. I exhaled and squeezed the trigger. The bullet flew across the street and buried itself into another slaver mere inches to the left and a few ranks ahead of my intended target. “Dammit!” I swore as I cycled the next bullet. Damn you, physics! I turned back and realized Tabber was gone. Oh well, at least he’d gotten his covering fire. I looked down the sights and took another breath. One. Two. I liquified a slaver wielding a sniper rifle and cycled the bolt. I exhaled and took another breath. One. Another slaver picked up the same bucking rifle and I aggressively removed him as well. I exhaled and prepared another shot. A larger armored slaver waddled up with a rocket launcher battle saddle, preparing to fire. “Dear Celestia take him out!” Doc screamed next to me. “Got it,” I whispered to myself. “Three rounds left.” I took a breath and centered on his armored head. One. Two. “Boom,” I breathed, and fired. I didn’t have the luxury of watching his demise, because I was uncomfortably close to an empty mag. “Doc! Reload these for me!” I tossed him my mostly-empty mags and he nodded. He immediately started opening fire with his shotgun, holding it in his magic, while he slowly inserted bullets into my mostly-empty magazines. I sprayed my submachine gun over the wall, just in time to watch more slavers show up. “Here! One’s done,” Doc shouted over the din of gunfire. He kept reloading the other as I dropped my SMG and picked up my anti-machine rifle again. “Go get ‘em!” I took a deep breath the second I popped out of cover. Mechanically, I emptied the magazine as fast as possible. Each time I looked down the sight, I did my best to center my sight on a slaver and fired. I racked the bolt and repeated it with deadly precision. Each shot caused the rifle to slam into my shoulder like a sledgehammer. “There’s too many of them!” Rumcake yelled. He popped out of cover and fired a few more shots, until his assault rifle clicked empty. “Buck! I need a reload!” Doc stood up and prepared to run across to Rumcake. I rubbed my shoulder with a grimace. “I’ll do that. I’m not firing my rifle for a while. Collar doesn’t help breathing either,” I told Doc. Firing all those shots in quick succession had really hurt my shoulder. Doc nodded and sprayed more buckshot at the slavers while I ran across an open area and behind the wall where Rumcake was hiding. “Oh Celestia oh Luna we’re going to die. What the buck was I thinking?” Rumcake muttered in a panic. I grinned wildly and reloaded his assault rifle. “Thanks.” He popped over the wall and fired at the slavers again. “Dammit, where’s that scumbag Tabber?” Right on cue, the three buildings on the right simultaneously exploded and crumbled into rubble. “There’s my Agent!” Doc squealed with glee. “I knew he’d pull through!” “Keep shooting!” Tabber shouted from a distant rooftop. I regained my composure and opened fire with my SMG. “That’s more like it!” He ducked past a roof and disappeared as the slavers turned their attention back to us. “We’re trapped! There’s still too many of them!” I screamed as I ducked down and replaced my SMG with my anti-material rifle. At this point, I didn’t even try focusing. I found slavers with interesting weapons in my scope and eliminated them one by one. “Doc! Got any ideas left?” “…Yes. Yes I do,” Doc replied, his tone of voice having turned rather creepy. He levitated a strange, orange concoction at me and grinned. “One last-ditch effort.” I shrank away from the vial as he stalked closer. “And you get to be the first test subject.” I sighed in resignation and sat still. “Will it kill me?” Doc wasn’t paying attention because he was prepping the vial and loading it into a syringe. “If this kills me I’m going to haunt your ass all the way to the end of time.” “You should be fine. I’ll make sure of it.” He tapped the syringe and floated it closer to me. “You’ll feel a slight pinch. Ready?” “As ready as I’ll ever be.” I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut. “Do it.” He jammed the syringe into my flank and injected it slowly. I felt the concoction seeping into my bloodstream; for each little second it burned with the intensity of a thousand suns. In some corner of my sane mind, I realized he’d never explained what it actually did. I roared in pain as it flowed further and further through my body, inflicting indescribable pain. All my nerves felt like they were being smashed and squeezed and I screamed in pain again. And suddenly, it was all gone. As in, everything disappeared. I could barely hear anything over my own heartbeat hammering in my ears. My mind was clearer than ever before, I couldn’t feel anything, and I felt strong! Powerful! Like I could do anything! Destroy anything! “You’re not dead yet! That’s good. Now, go get em!” Doc yelled into my ear. I nodded vigorously and jumped over the wall, directly into the line of fire. Bullets were smashing into me, but I didn’t feel pain. My wounds instantly healed and all the gunfire was only making me pissed. “Yes! Yes!” I roared, jumping directly into the closest slaver and tearing him apart with my claw. I was aware of all the gunfire focused on me, but I shook off bullets like dust. A particularly large force smashed into the side of my head and I looked up at the offending slaver with a demonic expression on my face. “You want some?” I pounced on him and grinned. “You can have all of it!” I screamed and repeatedly smashed my hoof into his face. As I pummeled the slaver underneath me, somepony was shooting me in the back. “Why. Won’t. You. Die?” he cried in between shots. I slowly turned to glare at him, grinning evilly. “Die!” he cried and shot me in between my eyes. I blinked and shrugged it off. “Wha— no…!” I grabbed him and threw him into a building, embedding him in a wall. I pounced from one slaver to the next, either raking them with my claw or flat out punching them to death. A large, armored slaver stepped forward and confidently fired his twin-linked assault rifles at me. I slowly pushed toward him, through the hail of small caliber bullets that were doing very little damage. His grin slowly faded when I managed to step up right in front of him and grab his throat. “All ones, bitch,” I whispered, then I broke his neck with a simple twist of my claw. “Burn, foal. Buuuuuuurn!” An even larger slaver in even heavier armor showed up, armed with a battle-saddle mounted heavy flamethrower. I froze and considered my options. I wasn’t sure whether the napalm would hurt me, but on the other hoof I really wanted this idiot dead. I dived behind the corpse of the recently-deceased assault rifle slaver. “Don’t run away! It’s just napalm!” he taunted. An idea suddenly popped into my head. I grabbed the firing bit of the assault rifles out of the dead slaver’s mouth and looped my hoof through the slaver’s battle saddle strap. With as much strength as I could muster— Hehe, mustard… Not now, brain. Anyway, I reared up on my hind legs and picked up the slaver, body, assault rifles, and all. “Why don’t you cry some more?” I laughed maniacally and opened fire with the slaver’s assault rifles. My heart was going crazy! It sounded like a zebra drumbeat going at lightning speed in my head! “Wha—” the flamethrower slaver stammered, and was promptly torn apart in a hail of gunfire. Unfortunately for me, he managed to let out a single gout of flame that hit me. I screamed in shock and reflexive pain, but I was pleasantly surprised when there was no pain, only fire. I must have looked like a demon from hell, wreathed in flame and covered in blood. “Who’s next?” I cackled. “Bring it!” I licked the blood off my claw as I waited for a new challenger. Warm, tasty blood! I was surrounded by more slavers, with the fancy slaver in front of me. “Who… What are you?” he stammered. “I’m a good little pony.” I giggled madly. I slowly stepped closer to him as I spoke. “I know a bunch of tricks. I know good. I know ball.” I was so close to him the flames coming off my hide actually started to scorch his uniform. “And I know rape,” I whispered evilly. The fancy slaver didn’t even try to move; he was frozen in place with fear. “Uh… eh…” he continued stammering. “Kill her!” he hysterically screamed and ran away. I growled loudly at the slavers circling me. Feeling was returning to my body, the heat on my hide was starting to bother me, and my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. I exhaled in exhaustion and jumped on the closest slaver, lighting him on fire and tearing his throat out. I grabbed the slaver next to him and repeatedly punched in his face. The other slavers started firing at me, and I realized my wounds were no longer healing as fast. “Crap,” I muttered to myself. “This is it, brain. Nice knowing you.” I stumbled a few steps, trying to grab another slaver but I fell short. My entire body hurt, I was still on fire, and my chest was killing me. I slowly inched toward the slaver, but I realized he was already dead. I painfully turned and looked, realizing all the other slavers around me were all dead. “Oh. Good.” I mumbled happily to myself. I rolled over in the blood-soaked dirt in an attempt to put myself out. Maybe I just needed a nap. Yeah, that was it. As my heart rate slowed down more and more, I caught a glimpse of Rumcake and the others running toward me. “I’m… okay…” I waved at them drowsily with a smile on my muzzle. “Five… more… minutes.” I closed my eyes and descended into the abyss. ~~~~~ “Your friends care about you, you know that?” a voice intoned into my mind. It wasn’t loud by any stretch of the imagination, but it had some kind of powerful force behind it. I was just trying to enjoy my little jaunt through the border between life and death, but this voice decided to butt in. “They’re not my friends,” I told the voice. I twisted around, trying to find the source of the voice, but to no avail. It was dark, smoky, and completely impossible to see anypony. “We’re… colleagues. Associates. Squadmates. I wouldn’t really call it friendship, really.” “Then what do you call that?” the voice intoned with a hint of humor in his voice. Some of the fog cleared, allowing me to see again. The scene unfolding in front of me slowly became clearer. I had a bird’s-eye view of the battle, which was not unfolding well for my Rangers, Doc, and Tabber. We were all pinned down halfway down main street where I’d collapsed. Baked Potato had somehow found us in the midst of combat and was bravely fighting off slavers that were charging at us. Tabber had collapsed one of the buildings across the street, providing all of us with cover. “What happened?” I asked the voice. My gaze was drawn by a blue magical dome where I’d collapsed. “What’s that?” “Your ‘colleagues’ are risking their lives for you.” I could hear a smile in his voice as he spoke. “Would associates do that?” I frowned in worry and squinted into the blue dome. Doc was pushing his magic to its limits, trying to maintain a shield spell and medical equipment at the same time. Wait, what? “I guess they are my friends. But why?” I was lying on the ground in the center of the dome, and Rumcake was crouched next to me providing CPR. “Why?” I whispered mournfully. I watched myself just lying there, not moving, barely breathing. “You are the most dysfunctional team in the wasteland. But like it or not, you have each other’s backs. Not because of loyalties, but because of friendship.” I was nudged toward the bubble and I slowly floated toward it. “Look at them. They care about you.” Rumcake was crying with every breath he blew into my lungs, and each pump on my chest seemed to cause him physical pain. He was whispering something to me, but I couldn’t hear what it was. On the other hand, Doc had set up an IV drip and he had the trauma kit open. “Why go through so much effort to save me? I’m jus— HEY!” Doc pulled out a large bottle of Wild Pegasus whiskey and took a long draw from it. Doctors shouldn’t drink on the job! He took out a scalpel and started cutting me open. I winced and attempted to look away. “Okay, now I kind of see why you have your doubts. Wow, I didn’t even know you could use a ribcage like that.” I was torn between intense anger and crushing sadness. They were my friends, and they did care about me in their own little ways. Baked was standing right out in the open, soaking up damage to protect me. Tabber was methodically executing any slavers that got close to us. Rumcake was keeping me alive, and Doc was… using my ribcage as a bottle holder… but still trying to save me! “So, what happens next?” I asked the voice sadly. “Am I dead?” I sure as hell wasn’t moving down there. “Depends how well your friend does.” The voice sighed, and suddenly sounded much, much older. “Look, if you want I can end it right here for you. I’ve seen what the wasteland does to good ponies like you. I’m giving you a choice right now.” …I thought about it. I could just let this all go. Wait, you’re considering this?! You have friends! You’d be throwing too much away here! What would I be throwing away, really? I’ve already been abandoned, forgotten, even forsaken by the government I used to believe in. I’ve lost whatever family and friends I probably had. Heck, I’ve lost my mind basically—what’s left to lose? You’d lose him. I looked back at Rumcake, holding a healing potion to my muzzle. He was crying freely, with tears streaming down his cheeks. Damn it, I was right. Maybe, just maybe… “Looks like you could pull through. My offer still stands,” the voice insisted. Should I? I still had a chance to start over… Do you really want to give up now? After what they’ve done for you? But… Hey! Don’t tell me you’re still thinking about it! This is madness! This is like suicide! Wait… this really is suicide. Don’t do it. Think of them, okay? I mentally sighed and gave in. Okay, brain, you win this time. “Last chance.” I turned my attention back to the shadows. “I think I’ll stay here. It’s nice.” I smiled gently at the shadows. “I have friends here. Ones that care. It doesn’t matter if I don’t remember anything from my old life, I guess. They care about me and that’s all that matters.” The voice laughed jovially. “You’ve made a good choice.” The shadows drew away and the battlefield faded out. “I’ll leave you and your split-personalities alone for now.” I sank down into the darkness and gently floated onto the familiar surface of a cloud. “Sweet dreams.” ~~~~~ Poke. Poke. “Geh… stop.” I groaned and rolled over. Poke. Poke. “Stop it.” Pokepokepokepoke. “Stooooop.” I sat up and looked around. “Back in Cloudsdale, eh? Well, it beats being dead, I guess.” I grabbed the teal ball of fur and feathers that was poking me. “Gotcha!” Filly Frosty squealed in delight. “Hey! Put me down!” I grabbed her harder and tousled her messy mane. “Stooooop it!” She pouted and squirmed out of my grasp. “Heeeaalp!” Gala Frosty ambled into the room. “Stop abusing yourself.” She grinned and shooed Filly Frosty into the next room. “How are you holding up?” I poked myself all over looking for anything out of the ordinary. “I think I’m fine,” I told her. “So, while I wait for somepony out there to wake me up, what’s new in my brain?” She looked worried. “Well… let’s put this a different way. Drunky?” Drunk Frosty staggered into the room. “Whatshc up sisss?” “Would you like to explain your amazing revelation to the original here?” Gala Frosty irritably asked. “Well you scheeee~” She waved her hooves around in a semblance of… something. “When you” – she pointed at me and continued waving – “represhhd stuffs an’ all ‘round thin’s, we” – she then pointed at herself and Gala Frosty – “comesh into being t’help wif it.” She grinned widely and laughed. “Brilliant, hyuh?” I gaped at her. Myself. Whatever. “Oh wait! Alsho, if you do shceritan thingsss like, another one of ush shows up. Triggersh and thingsh.” “Huh? What do you—” I began, but Filly Frosty grabbed my foreleg and pointed behind me. “Woah. Was that there before?” Either I really didn’t notice it before, or it had recently appeared. There was a steel door built into one of the walls of the cloudhouse. “It’s been locked ever since you were here last time,” Gala Frosty explained. “Even Drunky couldn’t break in.” Drunk Frosty weakly waved from behind a couch. “Well, that doesn’t look very locked to me,” I slowly replied, pointing at the steel door that was slightly ajar. “I guess should check it out. Stay here.” The other Frosties nodded and backed up. I pushed the door open slowly, noting the fact that somehow this entire tiny room managed to not have any lighting whatsoever. In the corner of the room a gray-red pegasus was huddled in a corner, mumbling to herself incoherently. One of her ears perked up as I drew closer and she turned around. “Hi there…” She flexed her claw and grinned evilly at me. Wait, claw? On that note, I realized that this was another version of me! Her coat and mane weren’t red… it was blood! “I bet you taste good…” She licked her lips and continued to grin evilly at me. “Uh… let’s not go there.” I backed up hastily and bumped into the now-locked door. “Can I please leave?” “But you just got here!” the insano-Frosty (raider Frosty?) exclaimed in mock surprise. “Let’s cut to the chase, shall we?” she whispered, dragging a talon along the bottom of my muzzle. “Let me out.” “Wha—?” I stammered. “What?” What was she talking about? They were part of my consciousness, right? “Let me take over. I can kill anything.” She backed off and sat back in satisfaction. “Think about it. You’ll never have to be injured again.” “Uh…” Good thing she’d inherited my logic patterns too, I guess. “I’m getting injured even if you’re taking over,” I pointed out. “Also, this is my mind. Mine.” “Don’t you love that feeling, though?” She grabbed me and pushed me against the floor. “Power. Energy. Blood.” I roughly shoved her back and opened the door, which had unlocked itself. “I did,” I admitted. I straightened up and glared at Raider Frosty confidently. “But I’m not going to let that control me. Now, stay.” She frowned and I slammed the door in her face. “So, what’s the plan now?” Gala Frosty asked me. “I’m going to slap a certain doctor in the face when I wake up,” I growled and then flopped onto the couch for a nap. Footnote: Level up! New Perk: Split Personalities – You’re not crazy. You’re insane! You may swap sub-perks when resting or when critically injured. New Sub-perk: Diplomacy – Remember thy Charlamane. You gain +3 to Speech. New Sub-perk: Foal at Heart – Growing up is overrated. You gain additional dialogue options with foals. New Sub-perk: Alcoholics Obvious – Drink! Drink! Alcohol resistance is doubled, but effects will last twice as long. New Sub-perk: Bloodthirsty – Blood for the Blood God! You gain +3 to Unarmed.