”So Anon- Your name’s Anon right? How do you like Ponyville? Met any friends yet? Am I your friend yet?” Please god kill me now. Oh boy the others are looking at you. Laugh it up assholes, they’ll get theirs. ”You’re going to love living with me. We can eat cupcakes, have parties, stay up till the sunrises, the works!”
“I don’t think that’s-“
”Hiya Copper, nice seeing you.” He grunts, turning away in disgust. She just laughs, “Old Copper, still the grouch.” Another pony with a grudge, how fun. ”Anyways, what were you saying?”
“Umm, I don’t think it’s such a great idea.”
She stops, “What do you mean by that?”
“I need my rest. I can’t be off partying about in my state.”
”That’s all? Why didn’t you just say so?” She giggles playfully, “I’ll just bring the party to us.” Oh boy…
She turns down the street. ”There it is, home sweet home.” Mary mother of god. It really is made of sweets. She speeds down the road, dirt picking up behind you, choking the passersby. ”Sugarcube Corner is the best store in Ponyville, plus I get to live there, which makes it even better.” Life force draining… She says hello to every-pony she passes, spitting out greetings faster than you can comprehend. This girl is crazy. How the hell can anyone stand her? Who the fuck is she?
She kicks open the door. Two ponies stand behind the counter. ”Hi Mr. and Mrs. Cake. This is Anon, he’s going to be staying in my room for a while okay? Great, bye.” She clumsily drags you up the stairs. Each step tosses you about as you clamor just to stay on. You hold on for dear life, not wanting to endure another tragic fall. Is she actively trying to get you hurt again? Finally up the stairs she drags you into what you can only imagine to be her room.
She shuts the door, her air deflating with a sigh. It’s like all her energy just… left. She looks at you, her eyes showing her fatigue. ”Well here we are.”
Her voice is sullen, nothing like it was before. ”This is my bedroom,” she shows off with her hooves. ”Down the hall to the left is the bathroom. I assume I’m going to have to help you.” You nod, the pink pony sighing once more. ”Downstairs is the kitchen. I’ll be sure to grab you some appropriate food whenever I can.”
“Pinkie?”
”Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, enjoy your stay.”
She trots over to her bed, lying down on the cushioned surface. “Are um- you alright?”
“I’m fine Anon. Fine and dandy.” Her voice sounds contrary. You don’t get this pony.
“You don’t get a lot of time alone do you?”
”Just enough. Just enough…” Holy shit she’s so depressing, She rolls up onto her hooves. ”Set your stuff down, we have a party to set up.”
She leads you back out of the room and downstairs. She stops at the bottom, breathing a sigh before perking up just as she was before. Hopping about, she takes you back to the Cakes, apparently the owners of this establishment. ”Hello there Pinkie, nice to see you up and about as usual.”
”Thank ya Mr. Cake. I’m planning a party again tonight, can I-?
”Anything for you Pinkie.”
”You’re just the best, mind watching Anon for me? I’m going to grab some stuff out of the back.”
”Of course Pinkie.” You can’t understand this girl.
One minute she’s happy, the next she’s a depressing sod, and then she’s perky again. Does she have a mental disorder or something? You almost don’t notice the Cake’s staring at you. “Something you want?”
”Us? Nooo. We’re great.”
“Ahuuu? Well if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you want to get something off your chest.”
”Just perfect,” Mr. Cake mutters through clenched teeth.
“For fuck’s sake dude, don’t be a pussy.”
Mrs. Cake nudges at her husband, who stands up straight in response. ”Pinkie might have brought you in due to her good nature, but don’t think we don’t know what you’re up to.”
“Up to? I’m a bit lost here…”
”Pinkie’s special to this town. You keep your twisted thoughts out of her head.”
“Twisted thoughts? The fuck do you think I am? I’m just trying to get better.”
”I’m sure you are. For the record, we’ll be keeping out eye on you.” Something about that’s just downright unsettling.
”Anoooon!” Pinkie booms from the back, “Can you help me in here?” If it means you can leave Mr. and Mrs. Conspiracy Theorist here then you’d be more than happy to. It takes a bit, but you manage to move your wheel chair into the kitchen.
Flour coats the walls and countertops. You’re not sure what you expected; this place is a bakery after all. Pinkie’s off to the side, mixing away at some concoction humming a tune. You finally reach her, your arms already sore and exhausted. “What’d you need?”
”Can you stir this for me?”
“My arms are extremely weak, I don’t think I can-“
”Pleeeeeease?”
You can’t resist that smile. “Hand me the bowl.”
Damn it hurts. You’re already exhausted from before, and now this… Add another month to my recovery why don’t you. ”We’re going to have so much fun together Anon, just you wait.” But boy can you.
“Hey Pinkie. Can I ask you something?”
”Shoot.”
“Before- when we went upstairs. Something happened…”
”Oh that! It’s perfectly normal. It gives me time to relax.”
“You call that normal? You were a completely different person.”
”You can’t be two people silly. That’s just crazy talk.”
“But- you- I… Fuck it.”
”Okie Dokie, frosting?” You can’t object before she shoves a hoof in your mouth. Bite down on that… Holy shit. This is good frosting. It tingles the bottom of your tongue in ways you couldn’t imagine. She removes her hoof, the fresh air only accentuating the flavor. ”Well?”
You swallow it down, trying to avoid eye contact. “It’s good.”
Her bottomless joy keeps you on your toes, so to speak. Pinkie is… eccentric. She’s like nobody you’ve met before. Her laugh is borderline infectious, and that smile… Don’t even get started on her smile. Time just seems to glide by while you’re with her. Maybe this won’t be as bad as you thought. ”Can you pass the blender?”
“Yes ma’am.”
By the time you finish your little cooking spree, you’re covered head to toe in flour, sugar and frosting. She puts the finishing touches on her latest conquest, a quadruple layered red velvet cake. You’re putting on weight just by being near it. You reach out to take a slice, only for her to slap you away. ”Not until the party silly.”
“But I-“
”No buts, wait until the party.”
“Alright,” You can get yours later. It’s not like there’s a lack of goodies to try. You look at the clock, eight 0’ clock. “So when is this party supposed to start?”
She gasps when she sees the time, “We don’t have time to waste!” She pulls you into the front room, stringing up decorations wherever she could. The Cake’s seem to have skedaddled. Partly, you don’t blame them; if things go south it’d be smart to be as far away as possible. Besides, they already made it clear you’re presence is barely tolerated. Pinkie hands you a bushel of ribbons, instructing you to set them up.
“I suppose you’re a bit late on the prep work?”
”It’s not a problem, Pinkie is never late for a party.”
“How exactly did you get to send out invitations? I’ve been with you all day.”
”I sent them out the day Twilight told me you’d be staying with me.”
“And when was that exactly?”
”Last week.”
“She didn’t give you much of a window.”
”I don’t dilly dally,” she says with that smile. You keep your own off your face, focusing on the decorations.
There’s a knock at the door, Pinkie Pie bouncing over and opening it. A fair amount of ponies start pouring in of all varieties. You notice Fluttershy and Twilight come in, along with Applejack and some others. The majority of the ponies either ignore you or flat out refuse to make eye contact. You’re not sure what you expected, you managed to scar at least four ponies in the first night you were here. They’re not just going to forget about that. ”Something troubling you Anon?”
You look to Fluttershy and shake your head. ”You look kind of down,” Twilight joins in.
“I just don’t see the point.”
”The point of what?”
“Why these ponies even decided to come. They knew I was going to be here, so why bother?”
”Why do you think they came?”
“Because they like Pinkie more than they hate me, but that’s just a guess.”
”And chances are you’d be right.”
“That comforting.”
”Sarcasm won’t make you feel better.”
“And neither will a party.”
”Anon now, Pinkie put a lot of work into this. Would you just up and leave?” A couple months ago you wouldn’t waste a second, but now… She spent a lot of her time for you didn’t she?
“I guess not.” You force a smile on your face. “Go on and enjoy yourselves. I’ll be alright by myself.”
”If you say so.” They mingle with the other guests, talking about who knows what. You move over to the punch table, getting a cup for yourself.
Sweet and fruity, exactly the type of drink that makes you a fag. Fuck it, it’s a party. You finish up your cup and toss it in the wastebin. ”Whooops.” Some asshole spills his drink all over you. ”Sorry dude. I slipped.”
That mother fucker. “Slipped my ass! You did that on purpose.”
“Caught me there.” He laughs smugly with his buddies, all you can do is glare at them. “You going to do something about it, let’s just walk outsi- Oh wait you can’t now can you.”
Rage increasing… By now the party has come to a standstill as all eyes are trained on your little scene. ”He’s so scared he can’t move. Isn’t that right?”
“I will hurt you…”
”Good luck with that freak. Just roll on home and leave our town.”
“Too far you piece of shit.” You lunge forwards fist first, the stallion backing out of the way. You hit the floor, scrambling towards him, fueled by your rage.
”Can’t even land a punch, and you call yourself a hero.” The laughs… blood will flow. You try to stand, falling flat on your face. ”Come on Anon. Show me what you’re made of.”
A couple hooves grab your sides, pulling you back onto your wheelchair. Pinkie Pie gets in between the two of you. ”Just laugh it off Anon.”
“I’ll laugh over his grave!”
She keeps you still, “It’s alright Anon, just laugh it off.” There’s no point in struggling, you can barely move by yourself.
”Talked down by a mare? Anyone else going to stand up for this freak?”
”Eeeeyup.” A large crimson stallion steps out from the crowd. ”I think it’d be best if you up and leave now, ya hear?”
The stallions back away a bit, the intimidating stallion putting a number on them. ”He’s not worth the effort anyways…”
They take their leave, “Party’s over everypony,” he says in his deep voice, “It’s time to head on home.” They shuffle out the door, only a couple left.
”Anon…”
“I’m fine…” But you aren’t. You’re the opposite of fine.
The stallion walks up to Applejack, “We’d best be going now.”
“Thank you. I…” He nods, the two of them leaving. “I’m going to go take a shower now.”
Pinkie just nods, “Do you guys mind-“
”We’ll clean things up for you.”
”Thanks girls.”
She takes you upstairs, carefully this time. You take off your patient’s clothes, the flour and punch coating it in a doughy mixture. There are no wise cracks this time, no humorous one-shots. ”I told you to laugh it off.” She pulls you into the bath, rubbing soap onto your back. She says it like it’s nothing.
“It’s not that easy. I’m not like you.”
”And you think it’s easy for me?” You look back to her, Pinkie having reverted back to her depressing form.
“I didn’t-“
”Well it’s not.” You can see the tears welling in her eyes. ”I try to make everypony happy, but it doesn’t always work. I know they laugh at me sometimes, and I just have to laugh with them.”
“I- I didn’t know.” This is making you feel like shit.
”It takes its toll on you, you just have to stay strong.” You look down, Pinkie resting her head on your back. ”Will you try?”
“I don’t know…”
”If not for yourself, then for me?” All that built-up pain…
“I’ll try.”
There’s that smile. She finishes rinsing the frosting off of you, turning off the shower and reclothing you. She rolls you into her room, throwing back the covers on her bed. “So where will I be sleeping? The couch is good for me, hell even the-“
”Don’t be silly Anon, you’re be sleeping with me.” The awkward train just left the station.
“Umm, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
”Don’t make this weird.”
“I don’t think it could get any weirder.”
She just rolls her eyes and pushes you to the bedside. ”I’m not going to let you sleep on the couch, so just- get- up.” She pushes you onto the bed, sliding your legs over.
“This is… are you sure? I don’t mind-“
”Don’t piss me off Anon.”
“Done.”
She smiles, her hair puffing out slightly. Throwing the blanket overtop you both, she closes her eyes. You can feel her warmth next to you. It’s strange, but… welcoming. You don’t find yourself minding this.
“Pinkie Pie?”
”Yes?”
“How do you do it? Stay happy all the time that is.”
”I think of something I like, and don’t let go.”
“And if you do?”
”Then you let it go and hope it comes back.”
“Just like that?”
”Just like that.” She sighs, wrapping herself up with a blanket. ”Get some rest. We’re having your afterparty tomorrow.”You can’t wait.
You just lie in bed, awaiting your nightly visitor. Hours tick by. You keep your ears peeled for the beat of wings or some such thing. No noises come to greet you that night. Shame, you were looking forward to laying into that bastard. You close your eyes, fixating your mind on something else. Manticores jumping the fence always worked. You picture it in your head, the herd scouring the plain. The spot the fence and- fuck it you’re bored…
~~~
You awaken to the chirping of birds. Yawning, you move to get out of bed, finding it difficult to move. You soon see why. Pinkie seems to have latched onto your body her sleep. Her nose is nuzzled into your chest, her heart beat vibrating through your arm. You attempt to free yourself, though ultimately succumbing to the d’aww factor. How could you get away from that? You lie there with her until she wakes.
She lets out a loud yawn, tightening her grip on your chest. Her eyes pop open, yours connecting with hers. “Nice to see you awake.”
She retracts her limbs and scoots back, “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
You think she blushed, but it’s impossible to tell with her pink hide. Does she- Do you… No. Get your head in the game Anon. It’s just another day. That’s it alright, another day.
Pinkie spent the following days delivering invitations. After that mess up you had on your first night she made sure to limit those who were invited. No one wanted to have another incident. The date was set for the end of the month, much to Pinkie’s dismay. You reasoned that it would give you both adequate time to prepare. Though in reality you just wanted time to rest. Funny part was, as time went on, rest was the last thing you wanted to do.
Pinkie and you got along miraculously. Whenever you weren’t baking or sleeping, the two of you would just talk to each other. Twilight tried to do that, but it never worked out, but Pinkie? She could make you talk about almost anything. Almost. You pick up the bowl, stirring the contents gingerly. “How many cups of sugar do we put in this?”
”Just one.”
“Two it is.” The two of you laugh, a tear coming to your eye. Fuck yourself with a cactus if this isn’t one of the best moments of your life. You look back into the bowl, a pair of purple eyes staring back at you. “Pinkie?! Pinkie?!?!”
The creature lunges at you causing you to roll backwards in your chair. You desperately guard your face only for it to slip right through. ”Anon calm down.”
“It’s biting me! It’s biting… me?” You stop your squirming, noting the lack of pain. Pinkie stifles another laugh. “Oh Anon, you’re so crazy.”
“What the fuck was that?”
”Oh that’s just Gummy. He’s harmless.”
“That thing tried to kill me!”
”Don’t be like that, he’s just playing is all, isn’t that right?” The small creature rolls down your arm, nibbling at your finger tip. He’s a baby alligator, and from the feel of it he doesn’t have any teeth. Must be why she calls him Gummy. You chuckle as he moves from one finger to the next, coating your hand with his saliva. “Grotty. You can’t bake like that.”
”Guess I need to wash my hands huh?”
She points to your body. ”Hands are the least of your problems.” Thanks to Gummy’s little sneak attack your covered in dough again.
“Can’t help you like this now can I?”
”No sir you can’t. Let’s get you washed up.” She pulls you upstairs, the Cakes glaring at you on the way up. You make sure to give them the finger, for good measure of course. She tosses you into the shower, immediately rinsing you off. You make sure to get your own cheap shots in as well. It isn’t long before the two of you are giggling like children.
You rest your back against the wall, taking a deep breathe between bursts of laughter. “I haven’t felt this way since…” Your laughing comes to an end as you finish your thought. You never felt this way before. Fuck, when did you become such a depressing sod.
”Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, it’s ok.”
”You know that I’m here for you right?”
You just smile and place a hand on her shoulder. “I know.”
~~~
Time just seems to fly on by. Every day gets shorter, every hour that much quicker. There just isn’t enough time in the day for all the things you want to do. You try to spend as much time alone with her as you can. Only then does she reveal her true colors, the insecure pony beneath. Ever since you arrived you’ve seen less and less of her. You chalk it up to her getting to know you. But you can’t help but feel that you’re not the only one recovering.
Before you know it the end of the month is up. The voices from downstairs cue the inevitable. Tonight would be the last night you spent with Pinkie Pie. It brings more than a little sadness to think that you had to go. Pinkie picks up on this, she’s been good at doing that lately. ”It’s not like you’ll be gone forever.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” If only she knew.
She plops you down the stairs, the room going quiet as you make your entrance. A couple raise their glasses in acknowledgement before returning to their peers. You move over to the red stallion from before. Pinkie doesn’t need to help push you along anymore, as enough strength has returned to your arms to enable you to move on your own. All that mixing really did help you recover after all. He nods at you as you get closer. “Nice to see you again.”
”Eeeyup.”
“I never did get to properly thank you for helping me out before.”
”Eeeyup.”
You raise your brow questionably. “You don’t talk a lot do you?”
”Nnnope.”
You chuckle to yourself. “Thought so.” You grab a cup of punch, sipping at the juice. “I didn’t catch your name.”
”Name’s Big Macintosh, but ya can just call me Big Mac.”
You finish your drink, giving off an audible exhale. “Well then. Nice to see you again Big Mac.” You say your goodbyes and move on to the buffet table. You’re eager to try the fruits of your labor. You pick up one treat in particular, a glazed vanilla cupcake with raspberry filling. It was the first one you made all by yourself. You sink your teeth into your creation, the explosion of flavor almost making you cream yourself.
”It’s that good huh?” Your eyes go wide at that voice. ”I didn’t expect you to be so lively with the screens I saw. Can’t win them all I suppose.” The cupcake loses its flavor as you swallow.
“Nurse Redheart.”
”Oh so you do remember me. How grand.”
“What do you want?”
”Oh nothing. Enjoy your cupcake?” OH shit what’d she do to it!? She laughs heartily, “Exactly the reaction I was looking for.” That bi- Calm down, remember what Pinkie said.You begin to laugh along with her, cutting her off. ”Why are you laughing?”
“It’s funny. Why else would I laugh?”
”But I-“
“It’s cute, really it is. Maybe one day you’ll grow out of it.” You roll away from her, confident in how you handled yourself.
Pinkie wraps her hoof around you. ”I’m happy about how you acted there.”
“I figured I’d give it a shot. You can’t take all the work.” You score the rest of your cupcake in her mouth, the mare eagerly accepting the treat.
She swallows and licks her lips, “Hmmmm tasty! You’re almost as good as me.”
“Almost.” That smile of hers… You can’t help but smile back.
The party rages on for some hours. Ultimately though, it’s the slow and steady who win the race. Unless you’re Pinkie though, she always wins. The Cakes help the tired ponies out the door, leaving only a few left. Twilight’s talking to another unicorn by the door while you help Pinkie clean up. ”So did you enjoy your party Anon?”
“Depends, did you?”
”Only if you did.”
“Then I guess we’re at a stand still. We’ll have to see next time.”
”I’ll hold you to that.”
The pair of unicorns approaches you, Pinkie Pie disappearing as per usual. ”So this is the gentlecolt you told me about?”
”Yes, he’s a bit overbearing, but I think you can handle him.”
“I am right here you know?” You laugh as they try to apologize. “It’s alright, just don’t make things weird.”
”Are you alright Anon? You seem a bit-“
“What? I feel great, like I could run a marathon. So to speak…” You catch her off guard once more, the mare stumbling on her words.
”Well- This is my friend Rarity.”
“Sup.”
”And this is Anon.”
”Charmed.”
You can sense some inner hostility, but nothing you haven’t seen before. “I presume I’ll be staying with you next?”
”That’d be correct.”
“So, tomorrow morning you can pick me up. What time sounds reasonable to you?”
”Actually, you’ll be going with her tonight.”
“Tonight? But I thought…”
”Rarity works in the morning, so we planned for you to leave with her tonight.”
But… you looked forward to that one last night here. “There has to be some way…”
”Did you want to stay? If you really want to-“
Listen to yourself Anon. Remember who you are. Who you are… Or is it who you were? Dammit this is confusing… You shake your head. “Whatever works for you.”
”Good,” Twilight says, “I’ll go get your stuff.”
”We should probably wait outside.”
“Yeah ok.” You roll out the door, the cold air hitting you like a brick wall.
”I don’t know how the others treated you, but in my house there are some rules to be followed.” And here we go… You tune her out, focusing on the pleasant breeze. The familiar heat of the bakery is absent outside the walls. You’re not sure if any other place will quite match up.
Twilight and Pinkie emerge from the door, Twilight plopping the bag in your lap. ”Well I better be headed home. I shouldn’t leave Spike alone for very long.” She trots off after saying her goodbyes.
”We best be going as well Anon, come.”
“Give me a second alright.”
You roll next to Pinkie, her hair slightly deflated. “I wis-“
She wraps her hooves around you. ”I know Anon.” You hug her back, enjoying the rhythm of her heartbeat. ”So what did you think of the party?”
You pull back, a grin swept across your face. “Depends on you.”
”Depends on you.” Your laugh is soft and tender, mirroring her own.
“Let’s do this again sometime.”
”And I’ll hold you to that.” You roll down the street beside Rarity. You look back, Pinkie waving one last time.