//------------------------------// // Reveille // Story: Blockhead in Ponyville // by Derpy Mooves //------------------------------// Author comment: Good news for people who want this to keep going: this is not a preconceived arc. I am just gonna keep on making the number-one guy do dumb stuff for as long as I can stay original. Also, this chapter title is the name of the bugle call typically used to awaken soldiers. The title is French for "wake up". It's also the first chapter in the first level of Halo. I am a fanboy of many tastes. Reveille The light was off in Twilight Sparkle's bedroom when two figures stepped inside.Twilight and Spike grunted as they set the human down on Twilight's bed. Twilight wrinkled her nose as she noticed the drool pouring from the creature's mouth onto her pillow. She and Spike backed away, both wearing faces of curiosity and fear. They stared for what could have been as long as a thousand-year lunar banishment. It was probably more like ten minutes, however. Regardless of the duration, they both awoke from the trance as hoofsteps signaled the entrance of another pony. Twilight turned to Spike. "That must be Fluttershy. Dear Celestia, please let that pegasus know something about this thing." Twilight returned her gaze to her bed just in time to see the pool of drool begin to waterfall down the side of her sheets, onto the floor. The purple unicorn whimpered. "Please, Spike, get her up here." Spike nodded and left the bedroom to greet Fluttershy. The young reptile reached only halfway down the stairs before the yellow pony spotted him. Fluttershy greeted Spike with a small smile. "I'm sorry I couldn't come with you when you came, Spike, but I had to-" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, no time," Spike grabbed Fluttershy by the hoof and started to pull her up the stairs, "This creature is really weird, and we need your help." Fluttershy's eyes lit up like the tree in Maneson Square Garden on Hearth's Warming Eve. "Oh, a little creature for me to attend to? I'm so excited, I could-" She froze as she entered the bedroom. She started to quiver. Twilight turned and frowned as her friend shrank. "Fluttershy, please don't freak out now; I have no idea what this thing is, and I really need your help." Fluttershy stood up and moved beside her friend, even as she continued to shiver. "So, you've never seen one before? I don't know what to do! My books didn't say anything either, and-" Twilight froze as she felt a hand grasp her horn. "Oh my, I've never seen a horse so excited, but I am quite the handsome number-one guy!" With a shriek and a shudder, Twilight broke free of the grasp and backed towards the wall, where her meek friend was already huddled into a ball, hooves covering her face. "Bwahaha! He thinks you're a colt, Twi! He thinks that's your-" Spike froze and fell over laughing. "He thinks it's on your head!!!" The young dragon sat on the floor, guffawing and slamming a fist against the ground. Twilight glared at her assistant as he rolled laughing at her expense. Fluttershy blushed fire-engine red, and she hid a grin. "That's a horn. Moron. That pony is clearly a female. And another thing, I-" Twilight's gaze searched the room for the origin of the gruff voice. "W-who was that?" "Oh. Oh, God. You can hear me?" Fluttershy replied. "A-a-are you a ghost? I- I mean, I'd understand if you didn't want to, you know, talk about it." Spike stopped laughing. "Ghost pony!?" The dragon zipped into his caretaker's hooves. "Oh, I'm not a ghost. I... I don't know what I am, actually. All I know is I've been cursed to watch this stupid little demon wreak insane havoc for as far back as I can remember." "He could be a ghost for ghostmas!" the human stirred, but stopped, and promptly inserted Twilight's entire pillow into his maw. He added a few gurgling noises, just so Twilight knew how much he enjoyed her linens. As the drool covered the pillow, Twilight silently thanked her mentor for Spike's fire-breath; it would make sanitizing much easier later. "Don't take the pillow out of his mouth; it's shutting the bastard up. Such sweet silence. I'm sorry, I just don't get relief from his nonsense. You ponies are the first beings other than this idiot to hear me. Oh, I can warn you now! I can prevent so much needless destruction. I'd also like to tell you not to feel too bad about him thinking you're a male. It indicates he'll never be able to reproduce, what with his obvious lack of sexual knowledge." The voice had a tinge of happiness to it now. Blockhead seemed to notice the lack of attention, and struggled to remove the sleep-aid from his unhinged jaw. The lunacy of the human's antics calmed the Equestrians, and they sat up to listen to the voice. Even Fluttershy giggled at Blockhead, whilst Spike, anticipating Twilight's concerns, took a quill and made a note to buy new linens. Twilight stood. "We need more information!" Twilight also admitted to herself that she would love to write a book about this, but her main goal really was to protect Ponyville from the monster she'd found. Well, maybe it was fifty-fifty. Truly, the image of her book on a shelf in the Canterlot library was enticing. Still, for this moment, she needed to get answers. "What's his name? What is his species? Are there more like him?" The words shot out of the unicorn's mouth as fast as her brain could formulate questions. "You can call him Blockhead. That's what I've called him ever since he glued his poor pre-school teacher to that police chopper. That poor woman. Anyway, he's a human. Most humans are highly intelligent, but Blockhead is just defective. You should probably-" the voice vanished. A quick look around the room told Twilight exactly why it had. "Blockhead went out the window! We need to find him!" Spike rubbed his eyes, amazed that the human could have moved out so quickly without notice. "Wait, Twi, how'd you know he went out the window?" the dragon inquired. "Well, Spike," Twilight answered, "we're right next to the door." Fluttershy pointed to the floor. "The broken glass is also a good clue." Twilight's eye twitched. "How did he break my bucking window without making a sound?! " Twilight slowly crumpled to her floor. "We must be having the worst day of anyone in Ponyville*..." Fluttershy squeaked. Twilight lay silent. Spike brought out the dustpan and broom, and cleaned the glass from the floor. * Pinkie Pie note: Twilight is like super-duper-looper wrong about that. I'm having the worst day of anyone in Ponyville! Rainbow Dash is here, and she's teaching Pound Cake to hoof box! Right now they're both watching Rocky: The Italian Stallion on NeighFlix, and she gave him all my ritalin! Poundie's eyes are so focused! It's like he can see all of time! My eyes haven't twitched this much since my party with that bag of flour! The only good thing is that Pumpkin is playing with Gummy**, so she's been out of my mane all day... ** Gummy note: Dear Celestia, Pumpkin is teething .