So so so like there was this like popsicle and its name was like RAINBOW DASH and like it began walking down the frigging street okay and the sky was open and bright and orange and gorgeous and totally awesomely radical which are two different things like sugar and pie and pudding and pussy cats and petting pussy cats and eating the face of RAINBOW DASH because RAINBOW DASH asked PINKIE PIE to eat the face of RAINBOW DASH so RAINBOW DASH could turn into SLENDER to be beaten up by all the foals who thought SLENDER was stupid because I WANT TO EAT A BICYCLE AND STUFF IT DOWN twilight sparkles PANTS AND SCREAM HELLO KITTY TO EVERY PASSERBY WHO LIKES THE SPACE BETWEEN tainbow dashs LEGS AND STARES ANSLD STARES AND STARES AND STARES LIKE A BLOODY CHAINSAW HACKS DOWN TREEST BECAUSE fluttershy LOVES HER BLASTED CHAINSAW LOVES IT LOVES IT LOVES IT LOVES IT LOVES IT and that's how roombas are born. Well, um, I don't think this is a good idea. I MEAN WHO DOESN'T LOVE FLUTTERSHY? DAMMIT, WHO DOESN'T LOVE And Fluttershy gets suplexed into a table, spine first. The table has a frightful fear of Fluttershy, so instead of breaking her spine it simply breaks. Fluttershy then lands squarely on
THIS CHAPTER IS NOW FULL OF BULLS.
(Scootaloo sees dead people!)
I had a thought. But it crushed my mind.
OOGABOOGITYBOO
Parchment Fold sat at a table and smashed his face into the keyboard once more.
"Dammit, writer's block! Stop screwing with me!"
The emerald-brained pegasus thrust his holves into the screen, tearing bits and pieces out of the monitor. He mumbled something and groaned as he observed the impossible - the pieces werre growing back! He began to tear the pieces out of the monitor with increased ferocity, mangling the poor technological pile of crudsticks and low-legs in an attempt to destroy the sucker.
It did not die.
He stopped for a second and began sifting throgh his PC to find out why. He then groaned and pulled out his red-and-black alicorn OC slave named Charlesworth and began wailing on him. Books, bags, babes (oop, gotta keep those! Parchment though), and schwas flew at the alicorn, delivering bruises the size of Missouri, but no pain. The alicorn had to fake it, however, because Parchment had the delete key, and so had total, absolute control over his whole life.
"Ow. Oh Oof. I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo in pain," the alicorn muttered sardonically.
Parchment knew he wasn't hurting his servant, but the sarcastic catharsis was enogh that he began feeling bettter. Not better. No, not enough "t"s. Bettter. Anyways, he was considering stopping when suddenly he realized he hadn't had his lunch yet and suddenly stopped. His eyes went wide and his jaw went slack. His tongue slipped out. A thin string of drool slowly and seductively slithered down to the floor like a sexy secret agent luring her male target into her space for a thigh-crushing death. His brain emptied through that strand of attractive drool, forgetting how to do anything but focus on the gnawing, growing, all-consuming hunger that welled up in his brain.
He woke up a few hours later, covered in blood and alicorn parts. His belly had been filled, but hiss ervant had gone missing. He walkdd over to his wall, punched a hole in it, and spoke.
"Moneypenny, tell James Bond he's fired."