Season 2 Episode 22 – Hurricane Fluttershy
The Mayor’s House, Ponyville
GALLOP POLL: HEARTSTRINGS (EQE) 80%/MARE (IND) 13% (±2%)
It was a commonly-known fact that the angrier the Princess Celestia was, the fewer manners she put on display.
“Mayor,” the white alicorn elucidated as she carelessly sloshed tea into the china cup, brown liquid spilling carelessly over the edge. “I cannot stress how disappointed I am at the current state of Ponyville.”
The Mayor sat quietly opposite the sovereign, hanging her head in a sort-of shame.
Her Highness grabbed the teacup and downed its contents in one audible gulp. “Harmony is the bond that brings ponydom together, Mayor,” she stated, pausing a mite to burp. “And this shutdown is assuredly not Harmony.”
The tan pony was only in a sort-of shame because it wasn’t all her fault: what about Lyra? What about the Ponyville citizens?
“Perhaps you think it’s LegCo’s problem,” Celestia observed as she idly examined her hooves. “Fine. But you are the ultimate authority here. You shall be held responsible.”
The bespectacled politician conceded. “I apologize for any distress this has caused you, Your Highness.” Typical. No solutions. Only more demands.
The Sun Goddess cleared her throat and spat out a gob of Godly yuck. “You are not yet doomed, Mayor. Yet the Royal patience is finite.”
*
Weather Station Ground Control, Ponyville
“You sure this won’t lead to more disharmony, Mayor?” Councilor Twilight Sparkle asked uneasily. “I mean, you saw all those reporters getting off the Friendship Express… the hype machine for this by-election is going to be in full swing!”
Her political mentor tried to be comparatively blasé. “Part of the democratic procedure, Councilor Sparkle.”
“Hey, you two!” Head of Weather Rainbow Dash finally trotted over. “Mayor, the water’s up and running to Cloudsdale, right on schedule!”
“Wonderful news, Ms. Dash, wonderful news,” Mayor Mare said, her mind on other matters. "Couldn't have done it without you."
“Heh,” the cyan pegasus couldn’t resist. “So you know, a little pay rise would be nice?”
“Actually, Rainbow,” the bespectacled mare answered. “I have a better idea.”
The pegasus’ ears pricked up. “Really?” she gasped incredulously, not even daring to dream. “Its it a meeting with the Wonderbolts? An extra, extra-special book about Daring Do?”
“Ehh… not really,” Twilight responded awkwardly. “It is kind of special, though.”
“Ms. Dash,” Mayor Mare beamed. “Would you like to run for Councilor?”
“Council- what?” The prismatic mare scratched her head, crestfallen. “Oh. You mean those old farts in Town Hall. No thanks.”
“But Rainbow!” the purple pony urged. “All those ponies voting for you – cheering you wherever you go! The amazing opportunity to rename- “
“No. Thanks!” The athletic mare crossed her forelegs in an act of finality. “No offense, Twilight, but as a general rule: whatever you like, I don’t.”
The unicorn pouted. “Come on!”
Rainbow Dash huffed. “I’m not dumb.”
Mayor Mare joined in. “Please, Ms. Dash… ”
“No!” The pegasus began flying away.
“After all, I’m the only thing preventing Ms. Heartstrings from firing you… ”
Rainbow Dash’s wings stopped mid-flap. The pony turned back apologetically, having seen the light. “Oh! Uh, I never said I wasn’t going to do it!” she backtracked lamely. “I just needed time to decide, that was all!”
“So you decided yet?” the bookish mare pressed.
“Yeah… I think I’m going to love being a Councilor!” the pegasus enthused.
*
Town Hall, Ponyville
“So I will be presiding over the LegCo by-election for Ponyville Eighth Ward, recently vacated by the resignation of Mr. Filly Buster,” the head of the West Phalian Electoral Authority, Mr. Gerry Mander, read out. “An opening reminder to everypony that all irregularities should be reported to the Authority posthaste.”
“Hear, hear!” Lyra Heartstrings called out.
Mr. Mander got down to work. “Now with the hellfire and brimstone over, the candidates! First, the Independent Candidate on stage please – Ms. Rainbow Dash!”
“Whooo!” Twilight and her friends cried and stomped, Scootaloo skilfully orchestrating the Fan Club legions in the background. “Rain-bow Dash! Rain-bow Dash! Rain-bow Dash! Rain-bow Dash!...”
The cyan candidate blushed and giggled at the sight, head going straight into clouds as she ascended up the stage. She had sort of guessed that this part would be good, but not this good!
Rainbow Dash tried in vain to focus on her task amid the cascading din and her own inflating ego. “Citizens of Ponyville…” she began as she patted around for the script – she left it at home, darn it! No matter: “Citizens of Ponyville!” she leapt up into the air, stirring up the crowd as only she could. “I am Rainbow Dash, and I. Am. Awesome! And if you vote for me, you’ll be awesome too!”
Mayor Mare facehoofed as the whole left of the aisle rose up in delirium. “Rain-bow Dash! Rain-bow Dash! Rain-bow Dash!... ”
“Oh come on, Mayor!” Twilight rasped in between hoarse yells. “Whatever she’s doing, she’s doing it right!”
It was a long time before the crowd wore itself out and the cyan pegasus finally came back to Equestria. Mayor Mare had to admit: Dash really did possess the star power to win, even without other things such as agendas and expertise and PR. Top that, Lyra!
The lime-green unicorn, cool-headed as always, smiled in answer. “Our candidate will come out now, Mr. Meander.”
“As you wish, Councilor Heartstrings. For the Equine Party – Ms. Fleetfoot!”
Mayor Mare blinked dumbly for a second. Who?- ah, ponyfeathers!
The crowd on the right rose up as one. “Won-der-bolt! Won-der-bolt! Won-der-bolt! Won-der-bolt!”
That look on Rainbow Dash’s face... her prior arrogance collapsed utterly as the white-maned, cyan-coated pegasus swept onto the stage, pure gormlessness assuming its place.
The chants increased in intensity as Fleetfoot took to the lectern. “Won-der-bolt! Won-der-bolt! Won-der-bolt!”
Fleetfoot motioned for silence. “Citizens of Ponyville… ”
The panicked cyan pegasus scuttled down the stage and towards Twilight and the Mayor. “Are you two crazy?!” she scolded, horrified tears welling up in her eyes. “I’m running against a…a Wonderbolt?!”
Both Twilight and Mayor Mare were as confused and dismayed as the poor mare was. “I didn’t know, Rainbow, I didn’t know!” the lavender pony pleaded. “How could – how did Lyra even find a Wonderbolt with enough free time for this!”
The cyan pony was in no mood for explanations. “I can’t run now! I have to leave!” she hissed anxiously. “What if the Wonderbolts find out? I’ll never get in after this!”
“Rainbow,” Applejack butted into the conversation. “If you drop out now, we’ll look like right fools in front of them national-media ponies!”
“But the Wonderbolts… him!” the weathermare pointed a trembling hoof at the uniformed pegasus, still busy narrating her election stump.
“Well,” the orange mare callously reasoned. “You’re on camera, so the Wonderbolts know you’re runnin’ ‘gainst them: there ain’t nothin’ left to lose...”
“Applejack!” Rainbow Dash was near-bawling. “This is my dream you’re talking about here!”
Twilight turned worriedly to her political patron. “Mayor… ”
The bespectacled mare looked at Twilight – at a sniffling Rainbow Dash – at Lyra Heartstrings smirking from across the room… she answered them all with a heavy sigh. “Fine. She can resign.”
The purple pony gazed on unhappily. “But… ”
“Well, no point in forcing her… I’ll survive.”
The magical unicorn regarded Mayor Mare some more, purple eyes shimmering with tears herself.
“No, Rainbow, no!” The purple pony turned back towards her hiccupping friend. “You’re going to show Equestria what you’re made of, and you’re going to kick Fleetfoot’s flank back to Cloudsdale!”
“B-but…” The pegasus remained unmoved. “She… she's a Wonderbolt!” she howled in despair.
“Rainbow!” Twilight shook her friend determinedly. “If the Wonderbolts care that you’re running against Fleetfoot, then maybe you shouldn’t be joining them!”
“Yeah! I bet that no-good skunk Lyra set you up for this!” Applejack angrily glared across the aisle. “I’m tellin’ you, one of these days, I’ll show her… ”
“Rainbow Dash!” The frustrated magical unicorn appealed once more. “If you dare give up now, I’ll never forgive you!”
“But… ”
“No buts, Rainbow Dash!” Twilight raised her voice angrily. “You wear the Element of Loyalty! Now you can choose between either the Wonderbolts, or us!”
“But… ”
“Yeah, Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie bounced in. “I didn’t invite everypony here for nothing!”
“Darling, you do have to press on… there’s nothing the Wonderbolts hate more than a so-called ‘loser’… ”
“We’ll all be voting for you, Rainbow Dash! I mean, I’m not from the Ward, but I’ll try… ”
“Darn it, Rainbow, you get back up there right now!” Applejack began to shove.
The prismatic mare whimpered. “But… ”
And with one long, broken groan, Rainbow Dash slowly got up and made her way back to the stage.
“…and I’ll also make sure that the weathervane on top of… ” A sudden explosion of voice drowned out Fleetfoot’s voice entirely, though not from the crowd that she was expecting. “Rain-bow Dash! Rain-bow Dash! Rain-bow Dash! Rain-bow Dash!... ”
The still-upset pegasus creaked out a smile and bravely waved. “Rain-bow Dash! Rain-bow Dash! Rain-bow Dash! Rain-bow Dash!...”
Lyra’s side tried to fight back. “Won-der-bolt! Won-der-bolt! Won-der-bolt!” But it was a lost cause: they could never match Rainbow’s energized supporters, now screaming and stomping with wild abandon… Twilight Sparkle, her friends, the Rainbow Dash Fan Club, Pinkie Pie’s invitees, hollering and jumping and waving flags for Rainbow Dash – for Ponyville!
The tables were now completely turned. For a moment, the lime-green unicorn sat, stunned, as if she couldn’t believe that a Wonderbolt couldn’t dissuade Rainbow Dash from the race! But alas, it was fleeting: the unicorn quickly mustered an angry scowl, blood boiling, simply unable to accept that she was losing ground now: not now, not when she was so nearly there, so so nearly there…
Mayor Mare filed away that ominous thought. For now, she was back in the game.
*
Admirably, Rainbow Dash didn’t spend the election cycle calling in sick or moping around. Instead, she – however begrudgingly, however sourly – conducted her election duties with some diligence. Thank Celestia that Pinkie Pie was such an amazingly talented campaigner, using every trick in the book to cajole, convince, reason with and downright force ponies to vote for the blue pegasus. The numbers had to be good.
Reception from the national press was positive – ‘DASHED! SHUTDOWN TOWN CANDIDATE SHOWS REMARKABLE TENACITY’, ‘WONDERBOLT FAILS TO DETER PONYVILLE MAYOR’, ‘IN PONYVILLE, A RAINBOW AMID THE SHUTDOWN’. Predictably, the Express was glaringly absent, but ponyfeathers to it!
*
Election cycles for by-elections were inevitably short, and soon Mayor Mare and her allies found themselves in Town Hall once again, waiting with bated breath as each new Ward 8 ballot box was poured out onto the counting table. “Another ten votes for Rainbow Dash!” Twilight whispered as she studied every utterance of the election workers like a hawk.
“Whatever,” Rainbow Dash grumbled. “My life is already over.”
“Princess Celestia was very proud of what you did,” the magical pony reassured. “I’ll bet she’ll be writing to the Academy soon.”
The prismatic mare groaned despondently.
“Fillies and Gentlecolts!” the voice of Gerry Mander suddenly boomed over the intercom. “On behalf of the Electoral Authority of West Phalia… ”
Mayor Mare leant closer.
“…I am glad to be able to announce…”
Twilight Sparkle leant closer.
“…the results of this by-election- “
Everypony leant closer.
"... have shown the winner to be R- "
“STOP!”
Mayor Mare’s heart skipped a beat.
“I am here to report an irregularity!” Lyra Heartstrings marched up towards the Election Commissioner, hovering a stack of papers above her.
The lavender pony went googly-eyed. “W-what!” she spat out. “We did everything by the book! You can’t- “
The opposition leader didn’t hear her. “Over the past few days, we’ve asked the Census Board to conduct a survey of Ward 8... ”
Twilight was furious to the verge of tears. “No, no, no. This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening!”
“And we’ve found out that Ward 8 actually has a voter population of only 498 ponies!” the lime-green unicorn concluded triumphantly.
Mayor Mare felt sick to her very stomach.
Mr. Gerry Mander paused. “Oh my.”
“That’s right, Mr. Mander!” The opposition leader marched up to the table where the votes were being counted. “Ward 8 has less than 500 voters and so is actually a pocket borough!”
“Argh!” Twilight Sparkle opened a notebook (an unused one, just to be safe) and began blindly tearing out the pages within.
“Pocket boroughs are a perversion of the electoral law!” Lyra announced to the stunned audience below. “No voting district is meant to be this minuscule! And so, we need to get rid of them whenever they occur!”
“Well!” The Election Commissioner flipped through the files as Mayor Mare could only watch helplessly on. “If the information is real – and a quick call to the Board should confirm this – this does mean that Ward 8 will be abolished as an independent voting district and this election to be rendered void- “
An unholy rage from an audience member below as the doors slammed open. “Twilight!” Mayor Mare bolted, the rest of the pony’s friends in hot pursuit.
Twilight Sparkle collapsed into a sobbing heap not far from Town Hall, absolutely unable to accept that all their hard work – all that convincing and stumping and hoping – had been ruined by a technicality. “I can’t believe this!” she screamed as beat the ground with her hooves. “We won, fair and square!”
Mayor Mare gingerly approached her protégé. “I’m so, so sorry, Twilight... ” never thought I’d be apologizing for my election defeats, “...but there’ll always be- “
“There’ll never be a second chance, Mayor.” Twilight turned up towards the tan pony, her eyes streaked with angry, furious red. “They’ll never give you another chance: the whole thing was rigged from the start.”
Ironically it was now Rainbow Dash who was attempting to comfort her friend. “Hey… don’t think like that, Twilight. Ponies lose all the time. We’ll get back at Lyra, I promise.”
The lavender pony was in no mood to listen. “If this is democracy,” she seethed through gritted teeth and a bitter scowl, “then it can go kiss my purple flank.”