Look Into My Fools
The Fool danced his way into the forest, whistling his merry little tune with his staff leaning on his shoulder. He was thinking about his previous stunts he pulled on the ponies. Tampering with the apples and slipping the nude mares magazine in the basket; Putting washable invisible paint on the fillies to scare the bullies; Using his puppet magic on the carrots.
Those were some good laughs he had today.
But still, on the inside he felt as empty as a black hole.
The Fool's passion in life was to make people laugh. He lived only to make people feel good and salvage their souls from sinking deeper into the dark depths of despair. No matter how much he tried in the past, The Fool could not make a friend with his friendly practical jokes (save for the fillies he befriended earlier today, but he felt he needed more than a child's laugh to make him feel complete).
The Fool stopped and looked to the azure skies above.
"I wonder how my old pals at the traveling circus are doing without me around?" The Fool asked himself out of loneliness. "It was a shame I had to leave the circus like that, but it couldn't be helped. I needed some time to clear my head and see if I could curb my addiction to pranks. Oh, how I miss them so much, you could see it on my face."
...
...
"Oh wait, I have a mask on, so you can't see my face. Hohoho-hahaha!"
The Fool slid twirled his staff and held it in his other hand. "Oh, well. I guess I should find another town and see if they know the way to Canada. More importantly, see if they can get a good laugh. Hohoho-hahaha!" The Fool walked no more than three steps when...
"You hold it right there, buster!" The Fool immediately stopped and turned to the cute-when-angry voice. It belonged to a yellow pegasus with a long pink mane. "I've been looking all over Ponyville for you, mister. You have some explaining to do as to why you beat up that poor bear!"
"The bear?" The Fool asked, cocking his head sideways.
"Yes, the bear. I'm talking about Mr. Bear, the same bear I found lying down at the forest path, wearing hoofcuffs and beaten badly on the head." Fluttershy's angry face seemed to make The Fool blush even through his mask. How cute it was for The Fool to be scolded by something so cute. "Now what do you have to say for yourself, mister?"
The Fool thought with his finger on his chin.
"Just a moment while I have a strange interlude," The Fool requested. He stepped out of the paused film with his staff tapping in his hand.
"Let's see. So far, this place has been populated with nothing but talking, colorful ponies all separate from each other by gender, color and kind," The Fool said to himself out loud. "So, if I saw a pony with wings, a pony with a horn and a pony with neither, then I deduce that this place must contain other mythological creatures, which means that I have a way out of this predicament."
The Fool stepped back into the picture and continued playing the film.
"Look out! A giant, firebreathing dragon!"
"EEP!"
Fluttershy jumped in the air and landed on her back, stiff as a shirt doused with starch. A card floated down onto her nose, which snapped her back into reality. She looked at the card, which was the Fool tarot card with a single, six-letter word written in green marker across the front.
"Psyche."
Fluttershy growled as she read the card. The once shy pegasus began to see red as she quickly got up off the ground and saw the disappearing shape of The Fool vanish into the forest, chortling with a shrill laughing voice. She fluttered above the ground and flew after him.
The Fool's scrawny legs rapidly scuttled along the ground, tap-tapping onto the dirt. He was one of the fastest people on Earth that would make even Usain Bolt and Jesse Owens look like the average run-of-the-mill joggers, so escaping Fluttershy like that would be no problem.
Of course, rarely did The Fool receive the element of surprise when Fluttershy suddenly appeared in front of him and shot herself into his face.
"That's it, mister! You've pushed my buttons too far!" Fluttershy growled, unlocking her assertiveness. "You beat up a poor, innocent creature, you've caused trouble by pranking everypony and now you've almost given me a heart attack! Now you apologize to everypony or else I'll give you...The Stare!"
The Fool held his hands up in defense. "Oh dear, The Stare!! Not that, please!! Anything but your jagged eyes sticking through my soul!! Hohoho-hahaha!" The Fool fell on the ground laughing as Fluttershy facehoofed. If she's been through this with another trickster before, she could do it again.
And she did.
She shot her mad eyes open and stared directly into The Fool's eyes.
The Fool shuddered at the pegasus's wrathful Stare. He felt tiny electrical volts coursing through every nerve of his body as the intimidating eyes looked straight in his soul. Every animal in Equestria, all fierce and timid, would be compelled by the unknown force of Fluttershy's Stare like the eyes had a hypnotic power, one that would bring even King Sombra to his shadowy knees.
But for The Fool's case, it was the exact opposite.
He was rolling on the ground, clutching his torso and bursting with laughter.
"Hoho-hahahaha! Oh-ho! Oh-ho, that tickles! That tickles, ahahaha!" The Fool guffawed, leaving Fluttershy completely mystified. "Oh-hohoho-hahaha! Oh gawd! Oh gawd! That Stare, it tickles me so much! So much that my hahahaha! My sides! They're killing me! Whoa-hahahahaha!"
Fluttershy increased the level of her Stare. The Fool shuddered and began cackling.
"Whoa-hahahahaha! Oh, please! Oh please, God, make it stop! Make it..hahahaha!"
Fluttershy went wide-eyed in shock. "I don't understand," she said, shaking her head. "The Stare should've worked on misbehaving creatures like you. Why didn't it work on you?"
The Fool wiped a tear from his mask before he kicked his legs up and jumped back on his feet. "Here's the deal as to why your Stare was defective against me," the jester explained, scaring Fluttershy to the point of shaking and sweating bullets. "I'm wearing a gold mask on my face, so you wouldn't know that I had my eyes closed the entire time. Hohohoho-hahahaha!"
Fluttershy kept shaking her head. "No, this is not possible. This is entirely impossible. I failed to tame a wild animal with my Stare! How can this be!?" she yelled to herself.
"Hohohoho! Don't worry, my friend, everyone who's ever met me had a similar reaction," The Fool chortled. "But if you really want to scare someone that easily, then all you gotta do is this..." The Fool leaned forward into Fluttershy's scared face. The timid pegasus whimpered as she scurried herself into the tree behind her, cornered by the grinning visage that was The Fool's golden mask.
"P-P-Please...don't h-hu-hurt m-m-m-me."
The human jester bent forwards to a 25 degree angle above the ground, the perfect height to help bring his face into the pegasus's face.
Then he said one word.
Only one word to bring down someone as scared as Fluttershy.
"Boo."
Fluttershy "eeped." She wobbled to and fro and her eyes rolled back into her her head before she fainted into The Fool's extended arms.
"I could hold in my arms all day long, the one that I love is in Canada. Hohoho-hahaha!" The Fool then flicked his wrist multiple times. Colorful bubbles started to form and floated underneath Fluttershy's body as a makeshift bed for her. "Hohohohoho. You poor little pony. So timid and afraid, so cute and caring. You've fainted with grace for fear of me, and I never took my mask off."
The Fool tipped his hat, grabbed his staff and breathed deeply.
"Oh well, I guess it's back on the old road again."
With a quick scuttle of his shoes, The Fool turned around...
...and was met with the angry face of a cyan pegasus flying at the height of his face. The other two angry ponies that followed was an Earth mare with a cowboy hat and a white unicorn with a curled indigo mane and light blue mascara. The Fool could already tell he was in hot water.
Suddenly, he had a strange craving for a lobster platter.
"Alright, tough guy! You've crossed the line this time!" Rainbow Dash smacked her forehooves together and snorted through her nose. "Now you're about to get the welcome you deserve...with a good old fashioned butt-kicking!"
"Ah'm gonna buck in the face so hard, even yer own mama won't recognize ya!" Applejack added.
"And you're fashion sense is as unwelcome as you are in my town!" Rarity chimed in. "Now prepare for yourself for an un-ladylike whooping!"
The mares growled as they trotted slowly towards The Fool, who stood his ground as if he was ready for this moment. He looked back at the readers with his hand cupped at his cheek and whispered.
"Hold on to your seats, folks. The next chapter's gonna be a bumpy ride. Hohoho-hahaha!"