//------------------------------// // Can I Buy You a Drink? // Story: A Scratched Record // by Ludicrous Lycan //------------------------------// Can I Buy You a Drink? “Hey, Octy, you wanna wake up yet?” Vinyl poked the unconcious cellist for the upteenth time in the last ten minutes. Between her passed out marefriend and the now ‘sleeping’ Celestian in her head, she was close to her wit’s end. After a regrettable hoof to the face, Vinyl’s new head mate had curtly announced that she was exhausted and presented no further notice before simply… passing out. The DJ was stunned at first, but she was understanding after remembering the condition she had found Xila in the night before. However, all her emotions eventually gave way to annoyance as she found out a horrible truth about her new tenant; Xila snores. At first, Vinyl believed it was just some elaborate prank. That maybe Xila had been hiding her sense of humor up until then. But the truth was much more terrifying. Who the hay snores in their head!? Vinyl wanted to scream, get her attention, facehoof. But she couldn't bring herself to wake Zee up. You’re losing your touch, Scratch, she thought to herself dourly. Now all the mare wanted was somepony to talk to; if not to ease her boredom, than to save her sanity. The only mare I can talk to is passed out like a filly after a horror flick… Vinyl held rubbed her chin thoughtfully as she took in the sounds of both Octavia’s and Xila’s slumbering. The two of them snoring together might be a little cute… if it wasn’t so annoying, Time for the big guns… Vinyl allowed a wicked sneer to creep across her muzzle as she made her way to the kitchen. The second she crossed the threshold, she put her newly enhanced magic to work. The refrigerator’s freezer was opened and a dozen ice cubes floated out of it, a wash rag was willed in from the connected laundry room, and she went about searching for a large bowl before filling it with cool tap water. When she was done, she had an ice cold soaking rag ready for it’s intended victim. The irony was not lost on Vinyl that Octavia's name was stitched into the cloth. Vinyl made her way back into the living room with the bowl and ice rag floating at her side. “Hey Octy, I would wake up now if I were you.” she sing songed to the still incapacitated mare. A few seconds without any response other than a snort and a few kicks of a hind leg, the DJ put her evil scheme into action. She placed the bowl down on the coffee table a few feet away before flicking the soaking rag onto her lover’s slumbering head. Octavia squealed and reared up from her spot on the couch before tumbling off the side. Her new relationship with their carpet was punctuated by Vinyl’s howling laughter. “What’s going on!?” the cellist yelled in confusion, her eyes covered by the rag and still too groggy to connect the details of what just happened together. She paused once she realised the reason she couldn’t see was because there was something on her face. When Octavia was free of the obscuring cloth, the first sight that greeted her was her foalish marefriend rolling across the floor in jubilant laughter. “Yes, very funny Vinyl.” Her recognition of the DJ’s antics granted her no head as the mare continued her laughter from the floor. The cellist eyed the bowl sitting on the table long enough to garner it’s contents before pushing the whole thing off the table and onto the unicorn. “Woops”, Octavia called out flatly with an equally flat expression as the ice water was dumped all over her partner. Vinyl was instantly soaked and shivering. She curled up into a ball before shooting her lover a glare of mock anger. “Touche”, she said. Her glare gave way to a grin as she stood up and began using her magic to evaporate the water in her coat and on the carpet. Octavia began rubbing her temples between her hooves while she furrowed her brow in thought. “Vinyl, please tell me I was dreaming about… Zeelah?” She cocked one eyebrow while she studied her marefriend’s features for any sign that her memories had been the result of a fever dream. “Sorry, Octy,” Vinyl frowned at the ground as she spoke, “but Zee is real. And I’m stuck with her for the next couple of weeks.” The cellist picked up that there was something her lover still wasn’t telling her. “Vinyl, can’t we find another pony to take care of her?” she pleaded softly. Octavia cantered over to her favorite mare and began pulling her into a warm embrace before forcing the DJ to meet her gaze. Vinyl chuckled nervously for a moment. “Hehe… about that. I asked that too.” She broke eye contact and returned to looking at the floor. She squee’d slightly when Octavia’s embrace tightened and her head was yanked back to place by the cellists hoof. “What. Happened.” Octavia stated the words between gritted teeth. It wasn’t a question per say, more like an inquisitive demand. Vinyl swallowed loudly. She knew that whatever happened next wouldn’t be good. “I… uhh… she said-” “Spit it out!” Octavia shouted, shaking the DJ slightly. She paused and took a breath before speaking again more gently.“Vinyl, I can not begin to help us if I don’t know what’s going on.” She presented a worried smile despite her effort toward a reassuring one. The white mare held her breath before shouting what she knew as quickly as possible. “Zeesayswecoulddieifsheisn’thealthyenough!” Octavia blinked several times while she worked on understanding the panicked message. “You could both… die?” She dropped her lover and fell to her rump. Now it was her turn to stare at the ground. “Vinyl… what have you…” She curled down against the floor and started mumbling to herself unintelligibly. Vinyl was growing more concerned by the second as Octavia continuously ignored her calls. “Octy. Hey, Octy. Tavi!” She flinched back in anticipation after her last call, but was only half surprised when she didn’t receive so much as a verbal outlash. She hates when I call her that! The DJ reached out with a hoof and jumped back when her touch caused head jerk in her direction. “Octy! You’re freaking me out!” “I’m freaking… That settles it, I need a drink.” With that, the cellist made her way to their liquor cabinet. Three… Two… One… Vinyl counted down in her head as she waited for her lover to discover the completely barren cupboard. She heard the doors clatter open, but no outcry of shock or anger. Not that I’m complaining, but if she’s this reserved, I know I’m in trouble! There was the sound of wood screeching against wood as Vinyl guessed some furniture was being displaced. It was followed briefly by a few clicks and squeaks she didn’t recognize, however. After the noises stopped, Octavia returned with a very large bottle of scotch and two glasses. “Where did you-” Vinyl’s jaw dropped at the size of the bottle. She surely couldn’t have missed it earlier. “Booze safe”, the cellist replied nonchalantly. She sat down in front of the coffee table and began pouring two drinks. “I had it installed the last time you decided to throw a party here with an open bar. And, no, I’m not telling you where it is or showing you the combination.” Vinyl put her forehoof down that she had raised before asking a question. “But Octy-” The DJ cringed slightly when  her lover stomped one hoof and pushed a glass of scotch to her on the table. “Octy, theres no point…” “Oh, silly me, I forgot.” Octavia took her glass between her hooves and downed it all in one swig. She then turned to Vinyl’s glass and took a much more controlled drink. A sigh of relief escaped her lips as she stared at her dejected-looking marefriend. Vinyl felt a pang of jealousy as she watched her lovers cheeks begin to flush from the alcohol's liberating effects. “Come on, Octy, this isn’t fair!” She dropped her head to the table without breaking sight of her lover as she downed the second glass of scotch. “Now you listen to me, Vinyl -hiccup- excuse me, I have had a long day and I need a drink. Surely you can understand?” She put on a cheeky grin as her lover groaned in admission.     “You have no idea…” Vinyl watched the cellist as she drank glass after glass for the next twenty minutes or so. After her lover's last drink left her face down on the table, Vinyl corked the bottle and returned it to the cabinet. “Hey…! S’not finished…” the earth pony whined. Her cheeks were red and her speech was slurred as she struggled to pull herself up from the table. “Yeah, Octy, you are. Gotta stop you before you hurt yourself.” Whoa, whoa, whoa… Did I just say that? Vinyl blinked several times at the sudden show of responsibility. Her attention returned to her marefriend when the mare toppled over from across the table. “Geez, that should be me…” she muttered in remorse. “What was that?” The floor laiden mare asked incredulously. “...Can I have a hoof?” Her snarkiness dissolved into a pitiful request for help. “Geeze Octy, is this what I put you through?” Vinyl was used to being the one on the floor at this point. But rather than feel shame for her past transgressions, she mostly just felt the pain of loss. “This really sucks…” “You -hic- ‘ave no idea!” Octavia was now leaning up using the bottom of the couch for support. “Every time we -hic- go out, you have to drink until you can -hic- walk straight!” Octavia managed to gain a seating position where she wobbled slightly from side to side but didn’t quite fall over. “And you always manage to embarrass us somehow. We are banned from… from…” The cellist paused for a moment and held up her hooves. She looked from her left hoof, to her right. and then at her rear hooves on the ground. “Vinyl… -hic- let me borrow your hooves, I don’t have enough to count out the number of places you’ve had us thrown out of.” She paused and grinned slightly at the unicorn sitting next to her. “I think I’m a little drunk.” Vinyl rolled her eyes and snorted a laugh. “Just a little.” She smiled for a moment, temporarily forgetting her own desires. The two mares shared a look that spoke volumes of why they had ever agreed to stay in the same home. Octavia managed to lean over and kiss Vinyl on her cheek. The blush that shone through the DJ’s coat suggested she too may have been drinking. “Octy, Celestia knows I would give anything to do… that with you after you’ve been gone all week… But-” Vinyl trailed off after getting a look at her marefriend’s now tomato red face. “Oh dear, I forgot myself, please tell me I didn’t just kiss you both!” she covered her eyes with one fetlock in a vain attempt to hide her shame. “Actually, Zee is asleep. Has been since you passed out.” Vinyl began playing with her hooves as she spoke. “Octy… she snores. A lot. It’s driving me bonkers!” At this, Octavia snorted slightly with a hoof over her muzzle. But with one hoof too few for balance, she toppled over to one side and devolved into a fit of giggles. “Snores!? In your head?” She was laughing uncontrollably by now. “How does somepony snore in their head!?” Vinyl took to holding her head in her hooves while sitting back on her haunches. “I don’t know! Like hay if any of this makes any sense to me!” Octavia’s laughter slowed to giggles while Vinyl moped. When the room became silent, Vinyl peeked out to find her marefriend had fallen asleep with a goofy grin on her face. She couldn’t help but smile herself as she made her way over to her cellist. And that’s why she’s never beaten me at a drinking contest… “Guess I’m not the only pony who’s had a long day,” she mumbled as she began lifting Octavia with her magic. The trip back to their room was almost shockingly easy. It was only when Vinyl recalled her recent venture into newer spells that she remembered why lifting the earth pony took so little effort. Thanks, Zee. At least I can do this for her. Vinyl tucked in the other mare before climbing in to bed herself. Vinyl began to shut her eyes as she adjusted to the darkness of the room. The idle snoring of her head mate had subsided somewhat, and she was hoping to drift off at last. But, the longer she laid there, the more she shifted uncomfortably under her sheets. The DJ’s eyes shot open and she crossed her legs. Holy hayfries! She ripped the covers from herself and darted out of the bedroom. Once out she made a beeline for the living room and then to the closed door of the bathroom. The door swung open in her magic and she forced the clutter in the room away from the opening. She slammed the door while chanting a list of liquors, wines, rums and beers. In her head however, she repeated only two words over and over again. Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee-! *Sniff Sniff* Oh, wow! Are those Octy’s pancakes!? Vinyl was stirring from her deep slumber. Her waking mind was immediately noticed by the other being in her mind. “Ah, It seems you’re finally getting up. Good morning, Vinyl!” A chipper sounding Xila greeted the waking DJ. Oh, hay Zee! Morning to… you too- It dawned on Vinyl that she hadn’t only heard Xila in her mind, but through her ears as well. “Splendid, I was afraid she was going to miss breakfast at this rate!” Octavia chuckled from somewhere in front of Vinyl. Miss breakfast? Vinyl noticed the strong presence of syrup on her tongue. Her consciousness sprang from her usual groggy state of mind and whipped itself to the surface of her mind. There was a slight tugging sensation as Xila’s mind was pulled out of the driver’s seat. Now in full control again, Vinyl could see the fork full of heavenly goodness levitating before her muzzle, and the half eaten pancakes sitting in front of her. “What the hay is going on!?” She reached up to the table with her front hooves in an attempt to stand up, but was rewarded with a flapjack to the face when her hoof came down on the rim of her plate. Vinyl went rigid as her syrupy breakfast slowly slid down the front of her muzzle and coated her entire face in the sticky sauce. Octavia was chuckling from behind her hoof as she came into sight from behind Vinyl’s new facial wear. ”Oh, dear. And it tasted so good too…” Xila pouted from the back seat of Vinyl’s consciousness. “I’ll get to you in a second…” Vinyl growled, her breakfast now being scraped off of her face with her magic and back on to the plate. “Octy, you have some ‘splainin’ to do.” The cellist decided it was good a time as any to release the floodgates of her laughter. She chuckled and snorted for a good two minutes before she calmed herself down enough to talk. “Oh Vinyl, don’t be upset. I convinced Xila it was okay for her get you up today.” “Why shouldn’t I be upset? I told her not to use my body without permission!” Vinyl felt Xila flinch at her exclamation and decided to calm her tone before continuing. “ Why did you tell her to do it?” “Well,” Octavia idly scratched a hoof at the ground as she spoke. “I woke up this morning and you seemed to be awake as well. But when I leaned over to kiss you-” “Kiss!? Octy, what about-” Vinyl stood up and her eyes were wide. “Yes, well it was too late I’m afraid. I only remembered your… condition when I saw Xila’s eyes staring back at me.” Octavia looked away guiltily as the implications sank in. She decided it was better to move on rather than give her lover a chance to die of shock. “But, It was meant for you, Vinyl! And Xila understands that. We spent at least ten minutes apologizing… To make up for it, she agreed to help me make you breakfast!” The cellist smiled sheepishly. “And also decided to eat it…” Vinyl looked down at her crumbling pancakes and licked the side of her muzzle where syrup was running down. “No, no! We made more! Xila just wanted to try some is all,” Octavia assured her. ”Yes, Vinyl, Octy assured me you could eat well over eight of them, so she told me that just two wouldn’t hurt.” Xila seemed a bit frantic as she attempted to convince the DJ that she had no intention of stealing the mares breakfast. Vinyl sighed. “Alright, you’re off the hook Zee… Did you just call her Octy?” Vinyls head tilted slightly to the side in confusion. ”Did I?” Xila seemed bewildered for a moment. ”I-I’m sorry Vinyl, is that a bad thing?” “Hmm,” Vinyl hummed quietly as she thought. “It’s just… Only I call her Octy. I guess it’s alright…” “Ahem!” Octavia cleared her throat loudly from Vinyl’s side. She had a fresh plate of pancakes on her back and a wet towel in her mouth. She put the plate down in front of Vinyl before scrubbing her face with the towel, wiping away the sticky mess. “I hope you don’t mind but I stepped away while you were having your little conversation.” Vinyl was scowling when the towel pulled away from her clean face. “Well that sucks, I love having arguments with myself in front of my marefriend,” she said flatly. Octavia chuckled as she wadded up the towel and trotted away. “Oh hush, you. Enjoy your breakfast ok? Don’t you have a ‘gig’ tonight?” Vinyl nearly choked on her mouth full of fluffy delight as the words came down on her. Oh sweet Celestia, I forgot! The DJ chugged half of her orange juice to wash down the breakfast lodged in her throat. She gasped in relief when she could breathe again. Hey, Zee? Xila was slightly distressed from the experience of choking. She hesitated in her response. ”Ye-yes, Vinyl?” Vinyl exhaled slightly as she decided how to approach the problem at hoof. She always preferred to DJ alone, and wasn’t keen on the idea of somepony riding shotgun throughout her performance. Unless that someone was a grey earth pony with a black mane and had a treble clef for a cutie mark. What kind of music do you like?