//------------------------------//
// The Pony Who Uses Blunt Force Drama 
// Story: The Temporal Manipulations of a Victorious Timekeeper 
// by Rodinga 
//------------------------------//

The door opened just as I finished knocking. Caramel knew I’d be coming. We’d done this for a couple of days already.

“Morning, Caramel.” We bumped hooves. “Carrot Top ready yet?”

“She’s still getting ready upstairs.” He rolled his eyes. “She’s been a while.”

“Probably curling her mane,” I said as I looked for light coming through the floorboards upstairs.

“Come in,” Caramel said with a nod of his head.

“You okay with doing this for another day?” I asked as we went over to the couches.

“You’re not the one paying me, Turner. Anyway, it’s doing her good.” We sat down in Carrot Top’s lounge area. “With all she was doing to keep this farm running on her own, she probably deserves a better vacation.”

“Like I could drag her away from this farm for anything less than a national emergency,” I said with a roll of my eyes. At Caramel’s suggestion, the last few days had been an impromptu vacation for Carrot Top. I’d done my part by following her around, providing conversation, being supportive, and shooting down any ideas of going back out to the farm to check on Caramel.

It was amazing how much work can go in to having fun. The only problem with Carrot’s vacation was that there was only one of me – usually – and so I’d had to put off any investigation into my time warping friend.

“Well, since we’ve got a minute,” Caramel said. “Think you could do me a favour?”

I shrugged. What was a little effort among friends? “Sure, what’s up, Caramel?”

“You remember Colgate right?”

“Blue on blue with suspiciously white teeth, and thinks you’re the perfect stallion to fill that gaping hole in her heart.” I gave Caramel a wry smile. “Am I getting close?”

Caramel shot me a neutral stare. “Yeah, that’s her.” He sighed. “Remember how you said I shouldn’t spend time alone with her and let this all fade away?”

“Not working?”

“I think it is, but she wanted to set up a dinner between us.” He leaned back against his couch. “I managed to convince her to make it a dinner party instead.”

Probably didn’t take much convincing then. I noted.

“So,” Caramel continued, “We’re inviting friends along as well, and I thought you and Thunderlane might like to come.”

“Sounds like fun. When is it?”

“A few days, I’ll let you know when we lock a time and date down.”

The sound of hoof falls on the stairs interrupted my response and I leaned back over the seat to get a look.

“Good morning you two,” Carrot Top called as she came down. Over the last few days I’d swear she’d got a few more curls in her mane and her golden coat had gotten a little more gold in it. “Time Turner, I’ll just get some breakfast and then we can set off.”

“Take your time, there’s no rush.” I called back.

Caramel waited until she was over in her kitchen before he nipped across to my couch. “So how are things going between you two?” he asked with a voice just above a whisper.

I shrugged. “It’s been fun: we’ve spent time walking, talking, and swimming together.” I saw an unasked question on Caramel’s face. “In the lake over by Whitetail,” I filled in. “She’d been on her own for so long I think she’d forgot she could still have fun with friends. I’ve been helping her catch up with them again as well.”

“That sounds good.” Caramel checked that Carrot wasn’t listening and said, “So, have you, you know?” he nodded at Carrot.

I blinked slowly and said nothing.

“You know, done more than friendship stuff. With her.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Done stuff. Um. Nudge, nudge, wink… and stuff.”

I just folded my forelegs together on the seat and waited.

“Have you… kissed?”

I took a moment to think that one over. I shook my head, “No, not really.”

“Hey, boys.” We both turned to look over at the kitchen. “I’m going to make some omelettes, you want some?” she asked with a wave.

Caramel and I shared a look, and I gave him a shrug. Caramel turned back and called back, “Like we’d ever turn down free food.”

“Won’t be long,” Carrot Top called back before she went over to her fridge. If memory served, I knew that she tended to have a lot of eggs around for baking anyway. Every farmer needs to know how to make some form of pie or cake made from their own produce. Then there are the usual semi-religious rivalries between cake and pie bakers, with fundamentalists divided over styles and ingredients.

I hadn’t seen Carrot make a carrot pie yet, if such a thing exists. So, that would put her carrot cake up against Applejack’s apple pie. Now that was a competition I really wanted to see.

As a supreme cake baker, a mere omelette with a side of carrot juice and baby carrot green salad was a trivial effort for Miss Golden Harvest.

“This is a lot of breakfast, Goldie,” I said as Carrot Top offloaded the small feast. “How often do you eat like this?”

“It was fun making it,” she said as she took her seat.

“And the occasion?” This wasn’t something she’d make every day when some cereal would do.

Carrot Top shrugged. “Just felt like it. Is there something wrong?”

Caramel looked up from where he’d been face deep in his food. “You looking a gift horse in the mouth, Turner?”

“Just worried I’ll be paying for dinner,” I quipped. “Can somepony pass the pepper?” Caramel slid the tumbler over to me and I gave my omelette a dose before starting on it. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the smile on Carrot’s face.

“So, what were you boys talking about?”

Caramel froze mid bite while I calmly continued mine. If Caramel was going to fall apart whenever a mare discovers one of the metaphorical under-the-mattress sugar stashes, then he wasn’t ready to be coltfriend material.

“Uh, um…” Caramel took a moment to consider his response, and said, “Nothing?”

Carrot Top looked like a cat with a roomful of mice. “If it was nothing, then why did you have to cosy up to Turner to tell him?”

Caramel froze completely. Someday, a mare is going to have her tail wrapped right around his neck.

“Caramel’s got a dinner party coming up,” I offered through a half full mouth and swallowed. “And he wanted me to come along.”

“And that’s it?” she asked warily.

“It’s with his supposed marefriend, who has a crush on him, and Caramel wants to break it off gently.”

“Oh…” Carrot Top winced. Suddenly she found that mouse she thought she cornered was just a sour lemon. “I see.”

“Yep,” I said. “But that’s a problem for another day, isn’t it Caramel?”

“Yeah, it is.” Caramel still looked like a frog in a spotlight.

I leaned over toward Carrot and whispered, “See the problem, Goldie?”

“Yeah.” She smiled sheepishly at Caramel. “If you’d like to take a cake along, I’d be happy to make you one.”

“I’m sure Colgate would appreciate it.” Caramel looked toward the clock and gasped quietly. “I’d better get to work,” he said before scooping up the last of his food and all but tossing his juice down his throat.

“In that case,” Carrot said. “Caramel, could I get you to plant the southwest quarter? I’ve got a few more seed sacks out in the barn.”

“Sure thing, Boss.” Caramel nodded. “Have a good day.” Caramel stood up and made for the back door.

“Probably came on a little strong there, Goldie.” I took a sip of my drink. “Anyway, it isn’t anything the gossip circuit probably doesn’t already know.”

“But I didn’t know Colgate had a crush on Caramel.” Carrot’s cat like grin returned. Somepony had been paying attention. I nodded in acknowledgement.

“So,” I said, “What did you want to do today?”

Carrot tapped a hoof on the table. “Not sure. Any ideas?”

“We could always go take a walk in the park, that street musician might be playing her harp. She’s got some serious talent with the thing.”

“Lyre,” Carrot said.

“Honest, Goldie. She’s great with the harp. Come on, I’ll show you.” I stood and led the way to the front door. Carrot muttered something about ‘waiting her entire life for that’ and followed.

I walked briskly and let her catch up to me at the front gate of the farm. Together, we walked along side each other as we went up the road toward Ponyville proper. We didn’t say anything at first, but we could both see the metaphorical tree trunk on the road.

“So, how much did you actually hear?” I asked, wondering if she’d heard my earlier conversation with Caramel about us.

“Most of it.” Carrot gave her ears a few flicks and smiled. “Not much privacy without walls.”

“Well…” I tried to think of a good way to summarize this. “I’m not exactly the most expressive pony around, and perhaps I might not be meeting your expectations.”

Carrot slowed down. “Turner, you’ve been with me a lot in the last few days.” We slowly came to a stop in the middle of the road. “You basically stepped into my life and helped me without expecting anything in return.”

“Not really,” I argued. “I was hoping for a discount on carrots at first, and as for the rest, I’m sure you’d return the favour at some point.”

“You haven’t asked, and I wouldn’t mind. You’ve been a good friend to me.” Carrot reached up and pulled me into a hug, nuzzling my neck and unintentionally introducing her carrot scented mane to my face.



 
Today’s weather was set to, ‘Rainbow’s busy, make it sunny’. The weather team probably taking their customary time off and disguising it as actual work.

Carrot and I chatted idly as we walked. Topics included: the weather, Caramel’s progress, town rumours, the price of carrots in Canterlot, and the secret to getting clocks to tick in sync.

We were discussing local farm politics when we walked into a crowd gathering in front of the bridge. Looking up I caught the reason, Twilight Sparkle was asserting her oratory skills to get everypony’s attention. She’s actually quite good at it. Shame is, she ruined the moment by wearing a set of joke glasses with novelty nose and moustache. Cue laughter.

Twilight ditched the glasses. “This is no laughing matter, we have a crisis on our hooves!” Cue gasp.

“I’ve just been visited by myself from the future.” Cue laughter.

“This isn’t a joke!” Twilight said as she leapt down from the bridge. “My future self tried to warn me about a horrible disaster that’s going to occur sometime before next Tuesday morning!”

“What kind of disaster?” somepony in the crowd asked.

“I don’t know. I got sucked back into the future before I could explain,” Twilight said. That struck a note in my head with, ‘sucked back into the future’. This was starting to sound familiar.

Then Twilight decided to take the obvious solution: Disaster Proof Equestria. Or more specifically, anywhere in an hour’s walk of Ponyville.

A checklist was produced.

Everypony available was drafted.

Then Ponyville embarked on the biggest cooperative unpaid maintenance spree since Winter Wrap Up. Everypony was quickly assigned tasks, and somepony dug up Town Hall’s maintenance backlog. So everything that had been pushed back was suddenly a priority, and the mayor was positively giddy about clearing it up.

Everypony split off to do their assigned tasks. Carrot Top went off to handle flood prevention downstream of the dam, while I was assigned the best job on the list: Fix the clock tower.

I take my timekeeping seriously. Since time is my thing, it’s practically a matter of honour. So I was fairly darn sure that every clock in town within my responsibilities was running on time. Of course that damn antique was another question entirely.

The problem with Ponyville’s clock tower is that it’s an experimental design intended to run for a longer period without maintenance. It uses a dual pendulum design and will actually stretch out to running the clock for an entire year.

When the town put out requests for designs for their new clock tower decades ago, somepony from Manehattan put this design forward. It was ‘Innovative’, an ‘Investment in the Future’, and ‘A Testament to Earth Pony Design Philosophy’. The designer wasn’t named.

Unfortunately the darn thing can’t keep time accurately for more than a week before it starts losing minutes. So once a fortnight I climb up, push the minute handle forward, and give the pendulum pair a few bucks to get them back to full tilt.

But since everypony was getting into the spirit of things, I climbed up to try and figure out a more permanent solution. Fixing it would be a longer task than I’d have time for today, but everypony needs a project.

I spent half an hour staring at various parts of the mechanism. Comparing it to some of my own designs, the main gears were fairly normal stuff redesigned to accommodate the dual pendulums, so they were fine.

The problem, I decided, had to be in the non-standard pendulums. They were ball shaped, rather than disc shaped, and they passed each other closely. Each time they crossed, you could hear them rattle as passing air pressure disrupted them. Over a few weeks, that was enough to cost seconds and eventually minutes.

The solution would be to isolate them, or switch them to a disc style and space them out a bit more. I sketched a few designs, and did a few rough calculations. The replacements would have to be the same weight or I’d have to redo the entire mechanism as well. Material would be difficult, I’d have to use the metal that made the existing pendulums. That would mean finding somepony who could melt them down. Something nopony in Ponyville could do, and the tiny forge I use to make individual gears was nowhere near that.

I was considering all this when my thoughts flew down another tangent. Following the motion of the pendulum led me to think about time periods, and then thinking about my time warping opposite number. I hadn’t really followed through on my investigation while I had been helping Carrot Top’s reintroduction into a social life.

Seeing Twilight claim a visit from a future-self was interesting. If anypony around could pull off a time spell, it would be her, but I’d never really thought she’d know any of them. Time spells aren’t something you can learn at the local library.

I packed my clock planning away and set off back toward the town.



 
Back in town, everypony was still in the middle of their mass maintenance montage. Twilight would be near the centre of it, so I made for the library. On the way, I stopped by my home to get my library bag with some books I’d been meaning to return.

The library itself is the ultimate bonsai project. Somepony with patience can make a nice garden, but it takes somepony special to grow a tree and then build within it. Most ponies who visit are surprised to find out that Twilight wasn’t the one who built it. Though she has rebuilt parts of it on occasion.

Stepping up to the door I rapped on it a few times. It might be a public building, but there are courtesies to follow when entering somepony’s home.

The door was opened by Spike, Twilight’s assistant, a baby dragon who rampaged through town a few weeks back. He’s much smaller now, though the ‘baby’ part is up for debate.

“Hey, Spike,” I said with a nod. “I’ve got a few returns, and I was wondering if I could get a favour.”

The young drake eyed me warily. “What is it?” Ah, cynicism, a dragon after my own heart.

“I was curious about the visit from Twilight’s future self.”

Spike crossed his arms and said, “Look, I know it sounds strange, but I believe her, and what—“

I held up a hoof to stop him. “Spike, I believe her too. Seriously.” I gave the hourglass on my flank a tap. “It’s kinda my area of interest. I just want to know what happened.”

“Um.” He rubbed the back of his head. “I wasn’t actually here.”

“Ah.” I flattened a bit. “So, I’d have to ask Twilight then.” Something I’d rather have avoided. “Any idea when she’ll be back?”

He shrugged. “Soon, I guess.”

I looked around. “Think I could get your help with this?”

“You know my price,” he said grouchily.

“Done.”



 
The door slammed open and a list flew through the door, followed by a unicorn.

“Spike! I’m back, we got the dam fixed. Now I need—Oh hello.” I waved back at Twilight.

“Twilight,” Spike said. “This is Time Turner, he’s trying to figure out how you time travelled so you can find out what the disaster was…” Spike frowned. “Or is… or… will be?”

“Best not to think about that,” I said as I put aside a book. “That’s a one way trip to a headache, Spike. Miss Twilight, Spike and I have looked everywhere, but we can’t find anything about time spells.” I leant back on my chair. “It’s like they don’t exist.”

“They don’t.” Her eye twitched. “Or at least they shouldn’t. My future self said they were in the Star Swirl the Bearded wing of the Canterlot Archives; they won’t be anywhere else.”

That’s interesting, locked in the archives then. Twilight obviously has access, but anypony else would probably have to know the princess on a personal basis as well.

“Twilight,” Spike asked. “Why would they keep those spells locked up?”

“Because anypony that could time travel would be able to change history… maybe.” She tapped herself on the chin as she thought about it. “Conventional theory on causality says that the timeline should be resistant to change, but if you couldn’t change the timeline, then there would be no point in outlawing time spells and keeping them locked up.”

“No.” Spike shook his head. “I meant why keep them, If they’re illegal?”

A reasonable question, but Twilight’s response was a look of horror. She stammered something about ‘destroying books’.

“If something used a time spell to change the past,” I began. “You’d need those spells to fix it.” Voice of reason I am. “I don’t suppose you know any time spells?”

Twilight shook her head. “Princess Celestia never included them in my curriculum, I never even knew they existed until today.”

Which officially crosses her off my suspect list, and leaves me with only a mystery and no leads.

Scraping the bottom of the barrel, I asked, “Apart from the princess perhaps, who else might know such a spell?”

“Nopony, if they fell into irresponsible hooves they could be a danger to reality itself.”

I nodded, “Well, at least you’re responsible.” I wasn’t even sure if I was being serious or sarcastic. “And that reminds me, I had some books to return.” I pulled my bag out from behind my chair. The bag lightened in my mouth as the books flew out and lined up in the air before Twilight.

“Thank you for bringing those back.” As each book passed her face, they went flying back onto the shelves. They all moved in jerky straight lines. It was one of the interesting things I’d always noticed between Twilight and other unicorns like Rarity. There was less sweep, and more directed force.

“I’d better get back to the clock tower then,” I said as I stood up. “Sorry I couldn’t find a solution to your problem.” A polite nod was shared before I went out the front door.

Outside, I looped back around to the back of the library.

The back door and Spike stepped out. “Did you find out what you wanted to know?”

“Close enough. Thank you for the introduction, Spike.”

“So, you’ll get me in the Gentlecolt’s Club, right?” he asked hesitantly.

I held a hoof to my chest in mock shock. “Of course. Frankly, the arguments keeping you out a fairly thin. Your rampage last month says you’re probably old enough.” Spike gave me a flat look. “And I’ll bet that alcohol doesn’t actually affect you. I’ll back you, and my friends will back me, so… done.”

“Thanks, Turner.”

“Meeting’s Friday next in Pokey Peirce’s restaurant. I’ll see you then.”

“How does it work?”

“You sit down at my table, and Thunderlane will deal you cards. Then you’ll lose everything to Big Macintosh just like the rest of us.”




The next few days were uneventful, mostly because Twilight hadn’t come out of the library in a while. There had also been a conspicuous lack of disasters and all the maintenance backlog had been cleared, so Ponyville was having an unofficial holiday.

All of Ponyville, except for Carrot Top and Caramel. Because Carrot had her holiday early, she had to get back to things. The vegetables on her farm were waiting, a fact Carrot bemoaned because she was forced to skip a mares-only booze-up in town.

I spent my time working on some clocks. My process is simple. I make the mechanism and then the basic frame around it. Then I spread them around the various artists and craftsponies around town to decorate. They get a cut of the sale and I get a batch of unique clocks to send out to stores across Equestria. Every home needs a clock or two, and ponies are willing to pay extra to get a unique one.

An hour or so before Colgate’s dinner party, I made my way out to Carrot’s farm to find Caramel. He’d spent the day ploughing a field Carrot had left to fallow and didn’t finish until late afternoon. Carrot had helped him get ready by getting out her bath and filling it up.

I walked in to find Carrot scrubbing the miserable colt in the kitchen. Every time Caramel had said he was clean enough, she found something he’d missed. Eventually Carrot just got out a scrubbing brush to do it properly.

Once Carrot declared him clean, I had the pleasure of using the trigger hose from the sink to rinse him down. A quick offensive towel down later and Caramel was smelling of carrots.

The next step was a brush down and mane combing. Caramel complained again and Carrot told him that, “Half of my friends might be there. I’m not letting you in their sight unless you’re ready.” Once she’d finished Caramel I let Carrot spiff up my mane and coat. Frankly, I’ll admit that like most colts, I have no fashion sense; so I had no issue letting somepony better at it make a few changes to my typical mane style.

Carrot had even done us a favour and made us one of her carrot cakes to bring with us. I was going to keep an eye on it, because I had a feeling it would be better than anything Colgate had on the table. Honestly, Princess Celestia herself would probably hire Carrot if she ever got word of how good her cake was.
 
Still, the preparations had given me time to think, and I came up with enough reasons to worry about tonight. “Right,” I asked. “So why is Colgate hosting this party again?”
 
Caramel shrugged. “It's just a dinner party. Does she need an excuse?”

“Even Pinkie has excuses for her parties, as thin as they tend to be...”
 
“This is a small town,” Caramel replied. “And if Colgate wants to get a few friends together, then that's all the excuse she needs.”
 
“True enough.” I need to stop being so paranoid, I chastised myself.
 
“Besides, it's just a few ponies and we’ll all know somepony. Colgate said I could bring a couple of friends so I wouldn’t get bored. I told Thunderlane earlier, and he said he'd come.”
 
“He’d never pass up free food.” I considered this and said, “So who else might turn up?”
 
Caramel tilted his head and hummed while he thought it over. “Couple of Colgate’s friends: Lyra I guess, and she might bring Bon Bon as well. Dunno who else.”
 
“I think I know Lyra, she’s that musician that sits in the park, right? Carrot and I have walked past a couple of times; not that’d she’d notice with the way she’s usually distracted by her music.”

Caramel came to a stop and turned to the right. “This is the place.”
 
I stood beside him as I considered the house. “It's a bit... bare.” Colgate’s house was a neutral coloured two story affair. Similar to most of the other houses around, but it was spotlessly clean and there weren’t any flowers or trees around. The path had also been swept, the grass trimmed, and the crystal clear windows had white curtains. It was well kept, but clinical.
 
“She's a unicorn isn’t she?” I asked.
 
“Yeah,” Carmel said with a nod.
 
“Hmm, I'm too used to seeing gardens everywhere,” I said. “This is kinda different.” We walked toward the door and I stopped a step back from Caramel. “She's your friend.” I held out a hoof toward the door.
 
Caramel reached out slowly toward the door, and was about to knock when the door opened to reveal a blue unicorn. “Caramel!” Colgate said with a grin. She stepped out and pulled my friend into hug. “It's great that you made it!” A moment of weird hugging later, Colgate noticed me out of the corner of her eye. “And you, Time Turner.”

I’d never felt so welcome in all my life.

“Uh. Hey, Colgate.” Caramel patted Colgate as he gently pulled out of her grip saying, “So you’ve… uh… met Turner before then?”
 
“I know who he is, not much more, but a friend of yours is a friend of mine.” She looked over at me again and added, “I guess.”
 
So I made a new friend. “Well that was easy, I thought I’d have to bribe you with this to come in.” I reached into my bag and pulled out the carrot cake.

The dentist stepped back slightly as she saw it. “Oh... thanks. But, um, I already bought food for us...”
 
I held it up so I could admire it. “Well I’m sure somepony will have a piece.” I shrugged. “Just add it to the rest.”
 
“It’s one of Carrot Top's,” Caramel explained.

Caramel’s word was enough for her, and she took it up in her magic. “Please, come in.” Colgate led the way through to her living room. There was a soft cream coloured carpet against light blue walls. In the centre of the room a wooden table had been set up with chairs all around and covered with sugar free drinks and snacks. Carrot’s carrot cake was the only real bit of food on the table. I made a mental note to thank Carrot Top.
 
“This looks nice,” Caramel said. “Are those dried peaches?”

“Yeah, they are,” Colgate said as she took a seat. “Have some if you want.” Caramel sat down across from Colgate and I sat down on his left, conveniently close to the cake. “Caramel,” Colgate said as she gave the chair next to her a pat. “There's a space right next to me.”
 
I watched as the gears in Caramel’s mind turned. A moment later he stood and moved over to join his mistress, ignoring the meaningful look I was giving him. In his new seat, Caramel pulled the bowl of dried peaches across and asked, “So, who else is coming?”

“I'm expecting Berry and Lyra.”
 
“Sure, okay.” Caramel nodded. “I also invited Thunderlane as well.” There was a knock at the door. “That should be him now.”
 
“He’s only five minutes late,” I added.
 
Colgate stood up. “Well, that's either him or Berry.” She made her way down the hall to the door and lit her horn.
 
“Hey everypony,” came a voice that haunted alcoholics everywhere. Berry Punch stepped in and held up a bag. “I brought drinks!”
 
“Go ahead and grab a seat, Berry,” Colgate said as she shut the door. “I’m sure you—“
 
There was a loud crashing sound from the other side of the door, leaving it rattling in its frame. Colgate near jumped out of her skin and the world seemed to stand still as she caught her breath. “What was that?”
 
“That’ll be Thunderlane,” I said.
 
Berry laughed as she brought her bag over to the table. Colgate turned the handle on the door and Thunderlane slumped over as his support disappeared.
 
“Thunderlane, are you okay?” Colgate asked.
 
“I’m fine,” Lane said woozily as he lifted his head off the ground. “Why’d you close the door anyway? I almost made it.” Looking around Lane caught sight of us. Ignoring Colgate’s quiet apology, Lane took off and flew over to the chair between me and Caramel. “Hey, dudes, what up?”
 
“Captain Klutz joins the table,” Berry called over from her spot beside me on my left. Lane made a face back at her.
 
“You know, Lane,” I said. “You should really yell out when you’re doing that kind of thing, you know, like Rainbow does when she crashes.”
 
Lane shrugged. “No harm done.” Berry pulled a cup over and started pouring out a drink.
 
Colgate sat down across from me again. “Berry,” she chided. “I didn’t ask you to bring alcohol, you know…”
 
Berry put the bottle back down and flashed Colgate a grin. “You think trying to stop me would be successful?”
 
“I guess that’s true.”
 
I eyed the bottle. It was one of Berry’s recent softer vintages with only enough alcohol to loosen a pony up. Getting drunk would take more than a bottle or two. A good social drink. I turned to ask Berry about it, but she’d disappeared from the seat next to me. Instead she’d moved over to sit on Colgate’s right. Apparently I wasn’t good enough company to sit next to.
 
I went back to looking at the bottle, only to find it had gone as well. Thunderlane flew back to his seat with the bottle now in his mouth. He sat down and started trying to uncork it with his teeth.
 
Colgate looked above me and announced, “Now we’re just waiting on Lyra.”
 
I lifted my head to check the wall behind me, Colgate had been looking at a clock.  Pendulum, but it wasn’t one of mine, and I sure didn’t remember setting it. It was still perfectly on time though.
 
“She’s always late,” Berry grumbled.
 
“I’m sure we can wait,” Caramel replied.
 
Lane stopped pulling at his bottle’s cork to say, “For how long?”
 
Berry rolled her eyes. “For however long it takes for her to wake her lazy flank up. I bet you she’s taking a nap.”
 
“Berry,” Colgate said gently. “She’s gotten better recently.”
 
“Maybe,” Berry said noncommittally before lifting her cup up for a sip.
 
There was a pop from beside me, and Lane hissed “yes” from around the cork in his mouth. He dropped it on the table and took a swig from the wine bottle.
 
“Go easy on that, Lane,” I said as I gave him a nudge in the ribs.
 
“She won’t mind us starting without her,” Colgate said. “As long as we don’t eat all the food.” She smiled and held out her hooves. “So go ahead and tuck in, everypony.”
 
Lane dropped the bottle back to the table. “Can I get a slice of that cake,” he said while pointing at the cake I’d brought from Carrot Top. The smile on Colgate’s face disappeared.
 
I put my hoof in the air. “I’ll have one too.” I think I was smirking a little, because Colgate’s eyes narrowed slightly as she looked at me.
 
“Add me to that list,” Berry chimed in.
 
Colgate turned to look at Caramel with a blank face that almost promised trouble. Caramel just pulled the bowl of dried peaches closer and said, “I’m fine.”
 
I sighed quietly. Damn it Caramel, don’t do everything she wants.
 
“Alright,” Colgate said as she pulled the cake over and summoned a large knife from the kitchen. With a few deft movements she divided the cake into five pieces. With perhaps more force than necessary. She gave three pieces to the ponies who’d asked. “Remember,” she said sweetly. “There’s other food on the table too. Healthier things.”
 
“All of it sugar free,” Berry grumbled.
 
“Well, yes…”
 
I gave in and started adding some of the savoury food on the table to my plate. I focused on carrots and grapes, the sweeter options available.
 
The front door opened and slammed shut. “Hi, everypony,” came a voice and its owner plonked herself down on the seat next to me.

Berry glared at Lyra. “There she is. What’s your excuse?”
 
“I had…” Lyra paused significantly. “Busy stuff. Going on…”
 
Interesting. When you think about it, Lyra doesn’t have much in the way of distractions. From what I’d heard from Carrot Top, she spends all her time playing music, or in the company of Bon-Bon. One was more likely to cause lateness than the other.
 
I leaned over to Thunderlane and Caramel. “Five bits she was delayed by Bon-Bon.”
 
Lane snorted. “You’re on.” We bumped hooves to seal the wager. Now I just need to get her to admit it. Lyra was sampling a mouthful of Colgate’s sugar free sweets and doing her best to look innocent.
 
I let her sit for a moment before casually asking, “Any hints, Lyra?”
 
“What about?”
 
“Oh, why you were delayed…” I grinned. “And who by.”
 
Lyra’s eyebrows went up. “And you want to know why, exactly? C'mon, we don't know each other all too well.” I thought I could see a slight blush as well.
 
“Well I’ll just have to imagine it.” I followed that up with a knowing smile. That made her wince a bit, so I backed down on that and gave her a moment to rest. I didn’t want to push too hard. So I casually, and gently, added, “Bon-Bon closed her stall a few hours ago, right?”
 
I’d almost thought I’d overdone it when she nearly coughed up the sweets she’d stuffed her cheeks with. I was tempted to do a time turn and try a different tack.
 
Lyra let loose with the righteous indignation I’d been looking for. “Could you not imagine me banging my beloved fillyfriend?” Bingo, I thought. I might still have flipped time if she hadn’t tried to turn the table on me and said, “S'like me imagining you doing erotic things with Cloud in the theatre.”
 
I couldn’t let that one pass, so I smiled and replied, “It could be on the big screen.” Time would tell how much of that fun night would make into the film dramatization of that adventure. Probably not much, and especially not the part with the flying cloud mattress.
 
Balked by my cheerful reaction, Lyra snorted and said, “Whatever you say.”
 
Victory mine, I leant back over to Thunderlane. “It was Bon-Bon. You owe me five bits.” Lane just grumbled into his bottle.

I settled back into eating my food. Carrot Top had done her usual magic with the cake, and the carrots were good as well. If there was one problem, it was that I was getting carrot cake too often and it was losing some of its lustre.
 
Caramel took the lull in conversation as an opportunity. “So, Lyra. How are things? Colgate mentioned something about getting your life back on track.” Caramel winced a bit when he caught the unintended insult he’d slipped.
 
“Uh…” Lyra squirmed in her seat a bit. “Something like that. I mean, it was never truly off the rails.”
 
“That’s true,” Berry said nonchalant. Then she leant forward conspiratorially and grinned toward Lyra. “I remember her when she first moved in.”
 
So now Lyra was getting tortured. For the love of Cadance, I was starting to feel a bit guilty for my part.
 
“Shush, shush, shush,” Lyra said to Berry. Miss Teal was starting to blush a purple colour. “We’re not going there.” Berry’s grin widened, much like the cat with a roomful of mice. Mares can be really predatory like that, give the colts some sympathy.
 
I glared at Caramel to get his attention, and once I had it I nodded toward Lyra and mouthed, ‘say something’. Caramel looked flustered for a moment before he coughed and said, “I meant that—well, you’re looking for work, and stuff.”
 
Berry was disrupted and Lyra replied, “Yeah, I am.” Then she reached out for a sugar free mint sitting in a pile from the centre of the table. It was probably some form of comfort to her.
 
So,” Caramel continued. “Any luck with that?”
 
Lyra sighed, and I could smell the mint on her breath. “… no such thing as luck, right?” Then she grabbed another mint.
 
“Well…” I shrugged. “Fortune does favour the prepared.”
 
“Good point,” Berry said at me with a can’t-be-sincere nod.
 
“I guess,” Lyra muttered. Lyra didn’t look like someone who habitually prepared, or at all.
 
The mood at the table sort of sat there like a depressed donkey for few moments before Thunderlane piped up and said, “Well, I’m fairly lucky.”
 
Thunderlane. Lucky. I started to laugh and things started to brighten up again.
 
Colgate looked at Lane with face full of surprise. “…you just slammed into my front door.”
 
“I meant to do that,” Lane said as he started gazing at the ceiling. Caramel hid his face in his hooves.
 
“Sure, sure,” Berry snarked.
 
“His ego’s worse than Rainbow’s,” Lyra added.
 
I rubbed a fetlock over my forehead. “Lane, was this like the time you meant to show Merry May how fast you could fly?”
 
“Well…”
 
“And what Dash said about that afterwards?” I added with a slight smile.
 
Caramel shook his head and muttered, “Celestia…” Colgate lent over to Caramel and gave Caramel’s back a rub, asking, “That sounds… interesting.” I slumped forward a bit when I noticed Caramel wasn’t pushing her away. Not blocking Colgate was half his problem.
 
“Somehow,” Caramel said. “He thought a good Hearts and Hooves Day involved a race…” Caramel sighed. “Through Ghastly Gorge.”
 
Of course we all know how that turned out.
 
Colgate just blinked while Lyra just said, “…depends who he’s with.” I figure that Lyra didn’t actually know how dangerous that place is.
 
Lane lent back in his chair and crossed his hooves. “Merry May said she had fun.”
 
“She beat you, Lane,” Caramel said bluntly. I added on the unsaid part, And that was before Merry realized how close you came to getting snapped up by that Quarray Eel, Lane, and started to panic.
 
“We should play a drinking game revolving around Thunderlane,” Berry said with a laugh. Colgate and Lyra giggled along with her.
 
“I think that would be bad for my health.” Then I tapped the table idly for a moment before casually looking at Lane and adding with a wink, “At least your tail can grow back.” Lane shifted in his seat as he sat on his tail. It hadn’t grown much since.

“Perhaps we should move on?” Colgate announced.
 
“Yeah,” Berry said as she looked for a new target. She hovered over me briefly before she shifted toward Caramel. I caught a flash of something crossing her face before she said, “So… Caramel, what do you even do?”
 
“Oh, farm stuff here and there,” he answered innocently. “I work for anypony who needs help, and on market days I sometimes sell the caramel treats my pa taught me how to make.”
 
Berry snorted. “The Apple Family wants your help?”
 
Caramel, Celestia bless his innocent heart, didn’t notice the implied insult. “Uh, no, not really. I normally help out with the others though, like Carrot Top.” That means a lot. Earth pony farmers, especially clannish families, tend to refuse help like Carrot Top did, and that tends to cause trouble. That Caramel is generally trusted to help shows how much faith they have in him. It’s like leaving your foals in somepony else’s care, and I’m not talking about the Cake twins.
 
Stonewalled, Berry stopped her attack. “Hmm, alright then.” She went back to her bottle.
 
I took up the subject. “Applejack isn’t one to ask. Mac usually covers anything she doesn’t.” Which is most things, if he’s been honest with me.
 
“That’s true,” Colgate agreed with a nod. “It’s amazing how, between those two, that they manage to keep everything up and running.”
 
I snorted. Clearly Colgate wasn’t in on the underlying truth. “Are we talking about the same farm? No offense to Mac, but—well, they tend to… overstate things.”
 
“They always have produce available to buy,” Colgate countered.
 
“Only because of how hard they work themselves,” I shot back.
 
“What’s wrong with that?” Colgate asked. “They’re happy.”
 
Naive girl. “Remember how bad it got last year when Big Mac injured himself?” I shook my head and lent back in my chair.
 
“They manage,” Caramel said before Colgate could answer.
 
Colgate smiled and added, “Exactly.”
 
Damn it Caramel. Half-heartedly I said, “They’d probably have it easier if they took Caramel on every now and then.”
 
“That’s up to them, isn’t it?” Colgate pointed out.
 
Caramel sighed. “Yeah, but I get plenty of work from Carrot Top so she can spend more time selling her carrots. She says it can get a bit lonely out there alone.”
 
Colgate tensed. “Mm… it might do...”
 
Hello soft spot, I noted. “I was out there the other day, she makes a very nice carrot cake.” I pointed at the remains on my plate. Anything to pry them apart at this point.
 
“You gonna eat them leftovers?” Lyra was eyeing the cake on my plate.
 
Caramel said something about the style of the cake while Lane and I pulled our plates closer.
 
“Is that a no?” Lyra asked as she gazed upon the cake on my plate.
 
I looked around for the rest of it. “I’ll have another piece of the cake as well.”
 
Lyra gasped. “There’s another piece?”

All eyes shot to the plate, and two remaining pieces. We watched each other as we sized up our opponents.
 
Lane was the first, and fastest to move. He shot forward and seized a piece, then inhaled it once it was on his plate. I watched Lyra and then shot forward to grab it before she could move, but just as I was about to seize it the final piece was enveloped in a golden bubble and pulled away.
 
“Mine!” Lyra cackled as she shovelled it down her throat.
 
“Damn cheating unicorns…” I muttered.

“Lyra, watch your weight,” Berry chided. “I’m serious.”
 
Lyra considered her options for .314 of a second. “I’m fine.” She resumed eating.
 
I sighed and took up the last carrot on my plate. Considering myself, perhaps I’d been eating too much cake. Thought if it started to get out of hoof I’d just have to put myself on a grass diet for a few weeks. Rare is the pony who lets it go too far. I ran the carrot around in my mouth as I tried to remember what variety it was from the list Carrot Top had introduced me to.
 
There wasn’t much food left on the table, sugar free or otherwise, most of it had quietly disappeared as we’d grazed our way through it. Colgate looked around the table and nodded as if checking a box on some internal list. She stood and tapped the table. “Well, everypony… I actually gathered you here for an announcement.”
 
I paused halfway through eating the carrot. I knew there had to be a reason for all this. Everypony watched; Lyra and Berry both twitched.
 
Caramel turned to look at Colgate. “What’s going on, Colgate?”
 
Colgate giggled and punched Caramel’s shoulder playfully. “You know, silly.”
 
“Uh…” Caramel froze.
 
Oh no, don’t tell me… Caramel, for the love of Cadance, don’t let her.
 
“We’re going out, of course! I thought you knew that you goof.” Then Colgate wrapped herself around Caramel and kissed him on the cheek. I could see the passion in it, the giddy joy written on her face. I could also see the panic in Caramel’s eyes, a silent plea for help.
 
Berry drank the last of the wine in her cup, and then started on the bottle. Lyra dropped the remains of cake we’d fought over. Lane sat still, his wings unfolded. I just swallowed the carrot. Caramel, you’ve got to break this off now.
 
“Umm, what I… uh.” Caramel was melting over there.
 
Come on, Caramel, grow a spine!
 
Colgate pulled out of her kiss. She looked into his eyes, and into his panic, and said, “Aww, you’re just nervous.” Then she went back in, this time kissing him full on the mouth. There was probably tongue involved.
 
Don’t let her rope you into this. Caramel!
 
Caramel pulled himself out of the kiss. Do it. “Uh… of course, sure, yeah,” he said hysterically. “We’re going out!”
 
There was a look of pure joy on Colgate’s face. Misguided joy. Me, I was basically the opposite.
 
“Oh come on!” I roared thumping the table hard enough to dent the wood. “What is wrong with you two?”
 
There was some blabbering from the others and Colgate blinked in the spotlight before stammering, “Uh… what, what’s wrong?”
 
“Caramel, how could—” I slumped back in my chair. “Buck it, reset.”
 
I turned everything back: my outburst, Caramel’s surrender, and back to just before their mouth to mouth session.
 
Time resumed, but I could still feel the pit in my stomach. Or at least the carrot going down.
 
Colgate froze just as she was about to introduce her tongue to Caramel’s mouth. She looked over at me, with confusion on her face. “Something you want to say, Turner?”
 
The pit in my stomach turned into a chasm, and the carrot fell into it. I felt a little nauseous, but I hid it. I’ve turned time back thousands upon thousands of times, and never has something changed without me changing it first. Fear, I felt fear. I was unsure like I hadn’t been in ages. The time turn was always a cushion, it was always there, fear was for ponies who couldn’t undo their mistakes.
 
I looked around. The table was waiting. I had to do it now.
 
“Caramel, don’t.”
 
There were gasps, Thunderlane nearly choked on something, and Colgate was staring right back into my eyes.
 
“Excuse me?” There was an anger behind her eyes, and fear. Probably like mine.
 
Lyra touched my shoulder as we stared each other down. “Uh... Turner? Might want to be more gentle here?”
 
I pushed Lyra away without breaking my stare into Colgate’s soul. “The both of you are rushing into this.” I blinked. Then I turned to Caramel. “Caramel, I know you’re hesitating, and I know why. Don’t let yourself be forced into something you don’t want.”
 
Caramel fidgeted, his eyes were focused on the table. “Yeah... but—”
 
Colgate put a foreleg around Caramel’s neck. “We’re not rushing into this, it’s come naturally.”
 
I shook my head slowly. “It hasn’t. Otherwise, Caramel would have said yes already.”
 
She wrapped herself around him. Caramel froze. “What’s your problem with us?” Celestia, she sounded hysterical.
 
“Colgate, he doesn’t love you.”
 
She drove a hoof down on the table. “You don’t know that!” The table was dented. Just like it had been when I’d done it, except that possibility had been erased with the unwitnessed timeline.
 
“I do.” I said solemnly. “And I’m not going to let the pair of you dig yourselves into a hole. A hole where the only way out is to break your heart.” I looked toward Caramel. “Come clean now, before it gets worse.”
 
Caramel started to squirm in his seat, and Colgate redoubled her hold on him. I said my part, it was up to him now.
 
Lyra broke the silence with a shaky voice. “Maybe you’d be willing to have an open relationship?” Berry Punch facehoofed hard, and Lyra collapsed as she reconsidered her words.
 
“Lyra, no,” Colgate said. “I’ve got something with Caramel, and you think I’m going to let it go just because Turner over here doesn’t agree with it?”
 
Then Thunderlane broke his silence. “Caramel, I think you should listen to Turner.” Lane coughed and resettled himself. “Don’t drag this sorta thing out, y’know? Isn’t that what they say?”
 
“Caramel,” I prompted with a stare.
 
Caramel breathed heavily. He wasn’t a pony that dealt with pressure. He didn’t run a farm, he helped others run theirs. He didn’t give orders, he followed them. Left to their own devices, Colgate would drag them into an unhappy marriage that would only last until her delusion wore off in a decade or two when they had foals to care for.
 
Caramel closed his eyes and swallowed. He took a deep breath before finally saying, “He’s r-right.”
 
“See? You’re stressing him out—” Then Colgate blinked. She turned like a glacier as she gazed into Caramel’s eyes. “What?”
 
“Colgate, I only wanted to be friends…” Caramel started to gently push her away. “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have given you those chocolates…”
 
Then Colgate stopped. She didn’t move, and didn’t blink much. But you could see it in her eyes. Barriers she’d built up were cracking and shattering.
 
“B-But… we… all…” Her eyes were watering. “All of those moments were nothing to you?”
 
“I’m sorry, Colgate, but...” Caramel couldn’t look at her anymore.
 
“Just ignore Turner!” she cried. “It’s not like he has anypony anyway!” My eyes narrowed.
 
“That’s a low blow, Colgate,” Lyra told her.
 
“Well it’s true isn’t it?”
 
You think I’m an emotionless bastard, do you? “Well excuse me, but I’m just doing the right thing. Even if you don’t appreciate it.”
 
“You’re doing what you think is the right thing!” Colgate screamed at me, tears running down her face.
 
“Yeah, and one day you’ll thank me for it,” I said quietly. I held my cool. Shouting her down would change nothing.
 
“You… you… just shut up!” She shouted back, her teeth were bared, and she was a fraction of a second away from catching fire and going into a full blown magic surge. As much as I’d love to catch a rage filled bolt of magic in the face, I couldn’t flinch. I just sat back in my chair and waited.
 
The rage quickly disappeared and turned to desperation. She reached out for Caramel, but he just pushed her away. “Caramel, p-please don’t leave me… we had something. I-I know we did.”
 
Caramel left his chair, standing up and walking around to the other side of the table. That seemed to break the last barrier in Colgate’s mind, and she stammered once more before she bolted. The sound of sobbing followed her as she galloped out of sight and up a flight of wooden stairs.
 
We all just sat there for a while. Caramel stood between me and Lane while gazing at a knot in the wood of the table. The thoughts in his head were anypony’s guess.
 
Thunderlane swung his wine bottle up and drained it. “Wow,” he muttered. “Berry, you got any more in those bags?”
 
Berry answered with a withering look. “Lane, is this really the best time?" Lane didn’t answer.
 
“Goddess, that was awful,” Lyra said. “But it was the right thing to do.” She ran her hoof through her mane – probably reassuring herself. “Caramel, I… I can only apologize for putting you in that position.” Which suggested Colgate had been egged on into this as well, at least at first.
 
Whatever Caramel was feeling didn’t stop him forgiving Lyra with a nod. “Berry,” he said after, “I think I need a drink.”
 
Berry slid another bottle across the table. “Take it. Look... if you all want to, we can take this to my place.”
 
Considering Berry’s behaviour tonight, I wasn’t going to let that happen. “I think we’ve all been partied out.” The was a soft pop of a cork and Caramel started sucking his wine bottle dry.
 
“Yeah…” Lane agreed. I think he noticed as well.
 
“Mhm… Turner?” Lyra asked.
 
“Yeah?”
 
“That was… pretty noble of you to do. Are you alright?”
 
“I wouldn’t call it that.” I shook my head. I wasn’t the one who’d have to clean this up, that’d be a job for Colgate’s friends. I pointed upstairs and said to Lyra, “You’d better go up after her. I think the rest of us should head home.”
 
“I was planning to.” She took a deep breath and nearly sobbed as she hung her head. “Goddess… I really bucked up.” Fixing this would be good for Lyra too.
 
Berry Punch threw a foreleg over Lyra’s back. “It’s okay Lyra.”
 
“It’s not, but… thanks, Berry.”
 
Well, I had my own side of the problem to clear up. Caramel was looking down the neck of his suspiciously dry bottle. It wasn’t one of Berry’s soft ones either. “Alright, we’d better get him home. Lane, can you give me a hoof?” Lane gave me a nod and he helped me get Caramel onto my back. The poor bastard was emotionally shot, and wasn’t really thinking about anything other than that bottle.
 
Lyra came over to our late night taxi service. “If you need a talk with me, I’ll do whatever I can to help.” It was a nice offer, but she had her own problems.
 
I jumped slightly to shift Caramel to a better spot on my back. “I’ll take care of him, you’d better get after Colgate.”
 
“Yeah, take care everypony,” Lyra said with a nod and went after Colgate. Thunderlane used a wing to keep Caramel steady and I carried him toward the door.
 
“Guys.” Berry caught us before we went out the door. “Drinks are yours if you want them.” She passed the bag to Lane, and he shifted it behind his other wing with a clink of glass.
 
“I think we’re going to need them,” Lane said.
 
“Sure, why not,” I said. It was gift, who was I to judge. “Oh and, Berry.”
 
“What?”
 
“If you’re going to help Colgate, keep this in mind: she just needs to stop and think. She’s a dentist, so she must be a smart pony. Once she thinks this through properly she’ll be able to get past it, don’t let her wallow in anger.”
 
Berry nodded. “I’ll do that.”
 
“Thank you. Alright, Lane, Let’s go.” The late night taxi service went out the door and down the street. This time of night nopony’s really looking out the window, but if they did they’d have caught sight of one of the late night migrations.
 
Caramel sat on my back enjoying the ride through the haze of one of Berry’s stronger bottles, and Lane used a wing to keep him there while carrying the free wine under the other one. My hooves were all busy keeping our combined weight upright.
 
Fun fact: earth ponies are heavy. A unicorn does everything via magic, and though they tend to get a little chubby, they remain fairly light on muscle mass. Pegasi are wired with stringy muscles and lighter bones to keep them flying. But earth ponies are covered in thick, strong muscle, which leaves us outweighing our compatriots by a fair margin.
 
At the end of the road I stopped. “Lane, where does Caramel live?”
 
Lane opened his mouth to answer and froze. “I don’t know either.”
 
“How have we been friends this long, and he hasn’t told us?” I turned my head around. “Carmel, where—oh no.” Caramel was draining another bottle of Berry’s wine. “Lane, get it off him.”
 
Thunderlane was frozen with indecision for a moment, he was holding Caramel up and the other bottles with his wings. He juggled the bottles to the ground and flew up to catch Caramel before he fell off, but not before he finished the bottle.
 
Caramel wobbled about woozily while I checked the bottle bag. They were all empty.
 
“Ah hay. He’s well and truly past it now,” I muttered.
 
“What do we do with him?”
 
“Well he’s going out to Carrot Top’s to work tomorrow morning. Let’s take him out there. Hopefully she won’t mind him using a spare bed.”
 
Caramel was asleep by the time we made it out to Carrot Top’s farm. Lane flew up to tap on Carrot’s window while I practiced plate spinning with Caramel. The light came on and the window opened, a hurried whispered conversation followed before Carrot came down to open the door.
 
“Take him upstairs, third door on the left,” she said immediately.
 
“Thanks for this, Goldie. If you would give me a hoof.” I nodded at Caramel. “Lane, go see if Mac’s awake. If he is, ask him for an empty cider barrel and some apple juice.”
 
“What for?” Lane asked.
 
“Caramel’s hangover.”
 
“And that’ll cure it?” Carrot asked.
 
“He just needs to drink plenty of water,” I explained. “But I want him to think it’s cider.”
 
Lane nodded. “Back soon.” And he took off toward Sweet Apple Acres.
 
“So, why did Carmel get drunk?” Carrot asked as we watched Lane fly off.
 
“I broke him and Colgate up, she didn’t take it well. Liqueur here.” I gave Caramel a bump. “Is feeling guilty.”
 
“Come on,” Carrot said and helped us inside. “Will he be alright?”
 
The stairs were fairly tricky with cargo. “Should be. Just keep him busy for a few days so he doesn’t think too much about it. After that, it depends on how Colgate fares. I sent Lyra after her, so if she calms Colgate down then Caramel’s guilt will fade.”
 
“That’s a few ifs, Turner.”
 
“It is, but the best we can do is help him cope.” We came to the room and Carrot opened it for us.
 
I plonked Caramel on the bed. It was a single, and coloured in patterns following Carrot’s. Then I took a moment to look around the room. The shelves were half empty, curtains tied back, and everything had been packed away. It was a room in stasis.
 
“Whose room is this?” I asked.
 
“Mine,” Carrot said. “Or was. It’s my house now, so I moved into the master.” There was a sigh of reflection. “Noi’s room is the next one along, and it’s still ready for her; so I suppose this room will eventually belong to one of my own foals.”
 
“I hope your sister won’t be visiting in the next few days,” I asked deliberately.
 
“No, but she’s moving back next week. The last letter I got from my parents in Vanhoover said she was missing her friends at school. I think you’d like meeting her.”
 
“I’ll look forward to it.”
 
There was the sound of hoofsteps on the floorboards downstairs. “Turner, I got the barrel you wanted!”
 
“Come upstairs, Lane,” I called back down. “Goldie, I don’t suppose you have a chamber pot or something somewhere?” I nodded at Caramel Liqueur. “He might need it.”
 
“We do, I’ll just go find it.” Carrot Top went out the door, and in came Thunderlane with one of Mac’s smaller Cider barrels.
 
“Mac put it together like you asked,” Lane said as he offloaded the barrel. “I think he’s done it before.”
 
“Can’t imagine why.” I gave Caramel a few taps on the head and presented the barrel. “Caramel, you want cider?”
 
Guilt and drunk logic combined to say ‘yes’ in Caramel’s mind and he nodded. I didn’t need to help much as he drained a good portion of the barrel himself.
 
“Don’t worry Caramel, Colgate’s fine. She forgives you,” I said while giving him a pat on the shoulder. Caramel nodded quietly and rolled over, he was asleep before you could say ‘good night’.
 
The door opened again and Carrot brought in a large metal bucket. Putting it beside the bed she asked, “What do you think he’ll need it for?”
 
“Considering how much he’s drunk tonight, it could be either one thing or the other, or both,” I admitted.
 
Carrot Top sighed, “We should have put him in my other sister’s room.”
 
“Sorry.”
 
“Well,” Thunderlane casually mentioned. “I got work tomorrow, so I’m gonna head off home. Good night you two.” We echoed our goodbyes and Lane went out the window. His dark coat helped him disappear the moment he flew off toward his cloud house.
 
“I’d better head off as well,” I said to Carrot.
 
“You could stay the night,” she offered. “It’s no trouble.”
 
I looked outside at the high moon. “I suppose I might as well.”
 
“Come on,” Carrot led the way out and shut the door behind us with a yawn. Then she opened another door closer to the stairs to a room similar to the other one. It was another stasis room, and less neatly put away than Carrot’s own. “It was my older sister’s. After she ran off to Applewood, I didn’t think she’d need it.”
 
“Thanks, Goldie, I appreciate it.”
 
“Goodnight,” she said with a nod, and went back into the master bedroom.
 
I shut the door and laid down in the bed after I shooed away a few moths from under the covers. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep.



 
Caramel didn’t feel too bad in the morning, though he still felt plenty of guilt over his role in what happened the night before. Carrot Top took my advice and did her best to keep him busy. The pair of them had a lot of farm work to get through, and Carrot Top wanted to get a selection of carrots ready to send to Canterlot.
 
I was still useless at farming so I went back to town. I spent time drawing up my modifications to the town’s clock tower. I also spent time fruitlessly checking the town’s directory for anypony who could melt down and reset a half ton of metal. Remaking the pendulums was going to require some out of town help – probably as far as Fillydelphia or Manehattan.
 
I took my lunch at the café by the town’s square again. I ordered a simple sandwich and one of my guilty pleasures, a banana caramel pie. You know, whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles over a banana and caramel filled base – with a cherry on top of everything. In short, a dentist’s worst nightmare.
 
I was halfway through my sandwich when, guess who, sat down in front of me.
 
“Good afternoon,” I said neutrally. “I hope your talk with Lyra went well after what happened last night.”
 
“We didn’t, Berry sent Lyra home. She wasn’t happy after what you did either.” Colgate sat calmly in the other seat. Her mane wasn’t out of place, nor did she look distressed at all from last night, but the way she looked at me gave me an impression of seething anger held beneath her calm face.
 
“But you did talk to somepony about it, right?”
 
“Oh, Berry and I had a long talk.”
 
I swallowed. “So long as you realise that Caramel didn’t say yes. Think about that and you’ll be fine.”
 
“Oh, that’s the thing,” she said happily. “He did say yes.”
 
Okay… “Colgate, are you sure you remember what happened last night, right?”
 
“Oh, yes,” she said with a nod. “He said, ‘Of course, sure, we’re going out.’ Though, Berry told me she didn’t remember that.”
 
“Neither do I. Actually.” I took a bite out of my sandwich.
 
“That’s when I started to think,” she laughed humorlessly. “Because after that, you did something.” I froze mid bite. “You stood and yelled something, and suddenly everything moved backwards. It was strange, I heard everything backwards, the cake Lyra dropped fell up and nopony else seems to remember what happened.”
 
The smile on Colgate’s face took on a feline with trapped rodent sort of aspect. Probably because my face was painted with horror.
 
She leant forward and whispered, “You changed time. And it’s not the first time either. I saw you do it at your party weeks ago, and there have been hundreds of times that I’ve felt like I’d just done what I was about to do.” She shook her head slowly. “That wasn’t déjà vu, that was déjà you. And you’re so arrogant, you can change time just because you feel like it. You never even thought you might be doing the wrong thing,” she snarled.
 
She stared into my eyes while I stared back into hers. A connection formed. Suddenly the facts bouncing around my mind were lining up for ice-cream and recognition. A unicorn mare, magically talented, likely smart.
 
I stood up and walked around the table toward her. I had to check. Everypony has a mark on their flank, some are common, while others are unique. The problem with the common ones, is you’re never quite sure what they mean. In this case I’d never checked at all. It’s terribly impolite for a stallion to be caught staring at a mare’s flank.
 
An hourglass. Colgate had an hourglass like mine. A Time Talent, the sort of thing that would give her an intuitive feel for time spells.
 
“You can talk,” I muttered.
 
“Oh, I can. Do you know what you’ve done?” she accused and stood up to face me. “You’ve broken one of the fundamental laws of magic, ‘Thou shalt not alter the timeline’ , The Sixth Law,” she hissed.
 
“You can talk,” I repeated. “Because you’ve done it too. Not long ago either, shall I remind you? Cornered in an alleyway by Sticks and Stones. You felt threatened, and so you lashed out, you slowed time. It wasn’t long, but I noticed, you trash-canned those two and ran away.”
 
Colgate froze in shock before stammering, “I-It was sef-self-defence. They were threatening me.”
 
“They would. Stones broke my jaw. It didn’t quite turn out that way, but I made sure to return the favour. I don’t blame you at all, anypony with the choice would do it.” I flashed her a smile. “But you don’t just use it for that. The mayor brought me her watch a while back, it was five minutes slow. Normally I wouldn’t have noticed, but the mayor doesn’t miss appointments, nor does she forget to wind it, and I’m damn sure it’s an accurate watch.” Colgate blinked a few times fast. I’d got her there. “She did say she visited the dentist, wanted to speed up her appointment did you?”
 
I smiled at her, I love it when answers fall into place. “There’s another one too, last night you answered the door just before Caramel knocked. You were really quick there, I didn’t even notice you doing it. You can talk about breaking the sixth law, because you break it as well.  After all, ‘Nopony is as law abiding as those with something to hide’.”
 
“You’re guiltier of it than I am,” she countered.
 
“Yes but it’s the Laws of Magic. There is no grey area, you’re innocent or guilty. So, as a courtesy, I won’t tell anypony about yours, if you don’t tell anypony about mine. Savvy?”
 
Her frown shook before she agreed, “Fine.”
 
“Fine, are you done berating me?” I said as I sat down again. “What’s done is done, and if you care about Caramel then you’ll let him go and forgive him. He doesn’t need a guilt trip every time he sees you.”
 
“I will then,” she said stiffly. “For Caramel, and not because you asked.”
 
“Fine, that’s all I care about. Don’t let me detain you.” I pointedly returned to eating my lunch.
 
Colgate stood and watched. “Is that your pie?” She nodded at my banana caramel pie.
 
I nodded while eating my sandwich.
 
“Do you like it?”
 
I swallowed. “Yes,” I said cautiously.
 
She picked my pie up in her magic and brought it over to her as she stood up.
 
“Well, have some!” The pie turned to face me, and it flew as fast as she could throw it, into my face, cherry first.
 
The pie fell away from my face in small pieces and onto my sandwich. I blinked it out of my eyes in time to watch her storm off down the road.

I licked what little remained from around my mouth. “Of course you realise this means war.”