//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: Apple Town // Story: Two Tracks // by Bastinator //------------------------------// She presses a hoof in your hand, that subtle warmth… “I’ve missed you. If these few years have taught me anything, it’s that I have to take the good with the bad, even if it is a bit messy,” she laughs. “Twilight,” holding her hoof with both hands now, “I’ve never forgotten about you, not once.” She presses her head against you, a wet spot forming on your stomach, “Neither have I.” You hold her close, her soft sobs always being too much for you to handle. “I’m sorry Anon… I’m so sorry.” “Me too, Twi. I’m sorry…” If you could go back in time then… No, if she could go back in time… “I’m sorry,” you pull away from her, “But this? This can’t work. Not after what’s happened between us.” Twilight wipes away her tears, only leaving behind her reddened eyes, “Can’t we start over?” She should know it’s not that simple. “If you want to start over, then it’ll be as I was. Oh… You don’t like that idea very much do you? You don’t have to answer; I can see it in your eyes.” You were an absolute dick to her, to every p0ny that tried to get near you. She’d be insane to want to go through that again. ”Anon, if it meant-“ “Just stop,” you interrupt, turning away, “You’ve said your piece, and so unless there’s anything else you want, I’d like you to leave.” Stay firm with her, Anon. Do not let her in again. Fool me once shame on you. She steps close, the soft crunches against the carpet finally ceasing, “Is that what you really want?” Don’t turn around. Don’t do it… You look back, those eyes silently pleading at your heart. “Fool me twice,” you whisper under your breath, “Dammit Twi… You really would follow me again, through the thick and thin…” Another couple steps. “Yes, but you never answered my question.” You stifle a laugh, almost smiling. Guess neither of you have changed; she’s still loaded with questions. But then you remember her leaving, and the smile that has yet to breathe, suffocates within you. “No, I don’t want you to leave. Shit…” You retreat to the balcony, letting the cold serve as your shield against her… but when you feel warmth next to you, it melts right on through. She always does this- did this- Whatever! You might have been able to tell her off once, but that was long ago. You were a different person then. You sigh, gripping the railings with Twilight by your side, “Why don’t you want to start over?” This time you do manage a chuckle, another shield to mask your feelings. “You think it’s about what I want? I wanted you to talk to me, Twilight. I wanted you to come back into my life, even just as friends. But you couldn’t. Well guess what? Now I can’t, and- Forget it, just drop it.” She won’t break you. She almost did once, but not this time. You can almost feel her gaze leave you as she turns to look over Canterlot, “I’ve always enjoyed this view. I could spend an hour just watching…” “Yeah well… I haven’t had the luxury of time.” ”Even you found time to enjoy it. How often did you lose hours of sleep just to watch the stars?” How could she know that? You never let on that… She smiles at you knowingly, “I did the same thing, but one night I heard you start to sing.” “Ha, I guess I did find time to get lost sometimes, even if it made my work a little harder.” Looking off over the city, you can’t but feel like you’ve finally made it. After all this time. “You know, this is my first time ever going to a big city.” ”Really? Didn’t you tell me-“ You cut her off with a simple look. Even after all this time, Twilight still knows better than to bring that up. “Really. My boss always steered me away from the routes that ran this way. I guess his superiors didn’t want me to disturb the Canterlot hierarchy.” ”They aren’t all like that.” That she should definitely know better. “They sit up here all day and night, feasting on the spoils of those who do all the heavy lifting. A bunch of limp-dicked… I’m sorry, Twilight. That’s not me anymore.” ”Is that what you think of me?” “You know what I think of you,” you snap at her, clenching your fist against your forehead, “Why’d you have to come here… Tonight of all nights.” She looks hard into your eyes, “You know why,” and walks out. You follow close behind her, anger once again finding its way in your voice. “So that’s it? You’re just going to leave again? After all you’ve said!” ”I’m happy that you can put the past to rest, but not all of us are so cold…” Twilight takes a look around your room one last time, “Try not to make a mess. You don’t want to make it harder on the ‘working folk.’” Again. She thinks she- Does she even care?! “God dammit Twilight!” you nearly scream at her, stomping towards and leaning your head against the bathroom door, “Why can’t you see that I still love you? What am I doing wrong?!” She shakes her head, smiling painfully at you, “You were right. It won’t work between us anymore. It just can’t.” Twilight holds back the tears as she stops at the door to the hall, looking down at her hooves, “I guess a part of me still wanted to hold onto the past, hold onto you in a way… A childish dream…” “That’s not childish,” you try to explain. “Do you know how many times I couldn’t sleep because you weren’t there by my side? I had spent the last four years tossing and turning because I lost my hold of you. I prayed that I could find a way to earn your affection back then, but all I found was silence to answer me. I lived this childish dream of yours every day. There’s not a second goes by that I don’t want things to go back to the way they were.” You would give anything to relive those days long past. “But I didn’t part ways, it was you. YOU! You ran away because you couldn’t tell me no. You let me chase you for years, never saying no. That’s all I wanted, an answer, but you just couldn’t find the sincerity.” Her voice is hoarse as she avoids looking at you, “Is that what you really think? Do you really think that’s why I left?” You open your mouth to speak, only to close it. After all these years, you never questioned her motives. Could you have been wrong? “Were- It wasn’t my advancing away? Then what could it have…” She didn’t know how to respond, she wasn’t ready to. ”You were afraid… because you felt the same way?” Twilight sniffs again, eyes reddening once more, “After four years you finally figured it out. I hope you’re happy.” “Twilight wait-“ ”I only wanted to patch things up, and you manage to throw me to the timberwolves. You try and tell me how you feel,” she wipes a tears away and furrows her brow, “Well you have a funny way of showing it.” You don’t have time to respond before she runs out the door. You rush over to the door just as it slams in your face, and you begin fumbling with the handle. “Twilight !” God- Open you fucking door! You push through, ignoring the clamor of fans down the hall as you pursue after Twilight. “Twilight! Just wait! PLEASE!” 6 years ago… You cast your gaze upwards, making out the edge of the town, rolling hills of apple trees stretching past the horizon. The thought of taking a bite of even one of those juicy balls makes your throat ache, only accentuating the thirst that’s been building over the day. Giving your canteen a shake, knowing that it’s dry but still silently hoping that some deity would serve mercy unto you. It rattles, but no dice. It just goes to show, wishful thinking doesn’t take you anywhere. You could jog on over, cut your time roughly in half, but… it’s all the way over there. No sense in running, you never have a need. Turning you head right you spy where you’ll sleep for the night, a small rocky formation just out of town. It’s like Pride Rock, but scaled down a couple thousand times. So you guess it’s your own personal Mini PR. You shake your head, staving off drowsiness just a little longer. There’s no time to think about sleep. There’s a message to deliver and until that happens you’re not doing jack. The age of the town becomes clearer as you get closer, the fresh pine and cedar apparent from their newest building. It’s been roughly five months since you last came this way, and even then they weren’t quite done. One of the builders wipes his head with a towel, turning about to see you coming down the tracks. Please don’t do it. I swear if you do- “HOWDY THERE!” Ugh, why is it always him? At least he’s working right now, so that buys you some time to find a hiding place. The last thing you want is to hear is his rambling. Last time you did… You shudder thinking about it. Now, where’s the courier’s office? You head down the street, hand clutched to your satchel. These folks wouldn’t steal from you, but you know better than to lift your guard. Never again… An elderly mare looks up from her knitting and smiles, “Mornin’ sonny.” “Ma’am,” you nod to her, trying to keep your gaze forward. Another greeting comes here and there from a few of the p0nies who aren’t working in the fields, each getting the same nod of acknowledgement. Finally you spot the office, a little run down since you were last here, but still standing, so that’s a plus. No sign in the window though, you note as you walk up the steps. Ahh, they probably forgot to replace it. Twisting the handle you walk on in, your heart skipping a beat as you freeze in place. Two foals are kicking and running about, only stopping when they see you in the doorway, “What that?” “This… isn’t the courier’s office.” ”MOM!” the second one screams, “Weird thing!” A clammer sounds from the back as their mother books for the front door. “I said git you little-“ she pauses as she sees you standing in the doorway like a dumbass, “Oh! Howdy there, thoughts my kids was talking about them crab spiders. Darn things.” “Crap, sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.” ”Nonsense,” she waves her hoof, ushering her kids away, “What can I do ya for?” “Nothing, I lost my way is all. This wasn’t a house the last time I was here.” ”You’re looking for the courier buildin’? Yeah, they moved out down the roads a bit, it’s got the Pegasus sign out front, can’t miss it.” Well, this turned out better than it could have. You haven’t spent a night in the stockades yet, and you don’t plan to. “Thank you, I’ll be on my way.” ”Can I getcha somethin’ to drink? Ya look thirstier than cured ham.” “No thanks,” you lie, wanting nothing more than a cold glass of water, “I’m good.” ”Whatever you say honey,” she waves you off, “Bush! Get down from there!” You make a quick escape, thankful you have some directions. After another little bit of walking you walk up to the door, this time a sign in the window and a door chime when you walk in. An earth pony sits behind the counter, a bushel of scrolls laid out across the top, a bell sitting just in front. You look around the corner, getting a glimpse of a Pegasus laying on in his hammock in the back. “Is it amateur hour already?” you ask out loud, moving back over to the counter. You tap your fingers on the wooden top, trying to get his attention, but it looks like he’s in a deeper sleep than you thought. “Come on dude, don’t make me use the bell.” Again, no response. You sigh, hitting the bell once, ears in pain from its annoying ring. His eye twitches, but other than that he’s as sound as a baby. “Fine, you want to play like that,” you mutter, finally put up with his sleeping bullshit, placing the bell right next to his ear, “I’ll fucking play like that.” You smash the bell with all your might, causing the whole desk to shake and ring like a bomb had gone off, “GAH!” The pony stumbles back in his chair, frantically dusting himself off and coming to a stand, “Uhhh, welcome to the Winged Courier, fastest courier in Equestria. How can I help you?” At least his boot-up’s fast. You reach into your bag, looking for the scroll. ”Hehe,” you hear him chuckle, “Nice purse.” “Excuse me?” you glare back at him, pausing in your search. ”I’m just admiring your purse,” he laughs, cracking open a bottle of cider, “Do you have a matching outfit with that?” This isn’t back home, Anon. Don’t let it get to you… Ignoring him you finally find the scroll, sliding it across to him. “Just send my letter.” He grabs a quill and paper and leans back against the wall, “Alright, who’s it addressed to and where’s it going?” You hear a yawn, followed by some hoofsteps as the Pegasus emerges from the back weary-eyed. “It’s addressed to Steel Bit, and he’s in Detrot City.” ”Hey,” the Pegasus groans in a deep beefy voice that reminds you of a jock, “Nice purse.” You’ve got to be kidding, “Hey! I said the same thing!” ”No way, did you ask if he had a-“ ”Matching outfit, totally!” the earth pony cheers, the two finishing up with a ‘hoof-bump.’ “If you two ladies are done with cheer practice, I need this on the next flight out, priority mail.” ”Yeah yeah,” the earth pony grumbles, making a few marks on the paper, “Alright, we’ll have it there in… about a week. That’ll be ten bits.” “What? Maybe I heard you incorrectly, did you say a week, and that it cost ten bits?” The pony grins like an idiot to himself, even putting on his thinking cap, “Uhhm, yeah that’s about right.” ”You got a problem with that, partner?” his partner adds in, “Ey, throw me a cider.” You’re stunned, these guys are just acting like this is normal and drinking a couple brewskies while on the job. “Yes. I do have a problem with that, a big fucking problem,” you turn back to the earth pony, “A week is unacceptable for a courier service, and ten bits? That’s highway robbery.” ”The price is the price dude,” the Pegasus takes a gulp of his cider in smug satisfaction, “Ey, this is some good stuff.” ”I know right? Braeburn sure knows his stuff.” “Are you two even listening? This is atrocious, where’s your manager, that unicorn what’s-his-face?” ”Him? He left months ago. Left it all to me and my bff here. So if you want the manager, you got to talk to me.” This motherfucker… “Alright then, why is this supposed to take so long, first of all? Any good Pegasus could make the run in a day.” ”Well dude,” the Pegasus juts in. “You see all these letters and stuff, well here’s where you are,” he takes your scroll and places it right at the end, “There’s a little wait.” You look at the tags on the other scrolls, the latest one dating two weeks back, “So until we get these out you’re just going to have to wait.” “These are from weeks ago,” you point out to them, the earth pony taking a gander. “Well, they just got to the front of the list. We’re very busy.” You can tell. Sleeping and drinking on the job is exactly what you’d expect from a service like this. ”You know, if you don’t like our service you’re more than welcome to go to the other courier service across the street.” This move… It would be funny if you weren’t the one getting led by the nose here, “Wait, there isn’t another service in town, darnit. I guess you’re going to have to wait.” Ahh you could laugh right now if they weren’t pissing you off. Just- fuck it, you’ll have to wait then. They’ve got all the cards. You’ll come back tomorrow, see if they sober up. You shell out ten bits onto the counter and head on out the door. The Pegasus chugs the rest of his cider, giving a disturbing belch and patting his chest, “Hmm that was darn tasty. Get me another will ya?” ”Don’t get too hasty now, we’re running out as it is.” You stop just as he says this, turning back to them. “Really?” ”Really,” the earth pony groans, tossing him another bottle, “Damn buffalo ran off with the rest of our cider making stuff. We ain’t got much left.” You stroke your chin in thought, going over the plan in your head, “And we don’t just hoof it out to any purse-having two leg neither.” “Oh I wasn’t going to ask,” you saunter back up and leaning against the counter, “Just wondering if that means you can’t make anymore cider now.” ”We’s got some,” he admits, “but Braeburn’s rationing us out, considering the party tonight.” You’re not interested in that last part, but the first part? That tickles you just the right way. “So… Where would you, get more supply, if I were to ask?” “Why’s you asking so many questions partner?” ”Maybe you’s looking for a date tonight?” “No. I was just wondering if you get supplies by train. That last one out was one way, so they didn’t drop anything off for you, did they?” They don’t have to answer. You already know. You reach back into your pocket, pulling out a small metal badge, your initials and railroad insignia engraved into it. “Because you see, I already shut this track down about a day ago, and that means there aren’t going to be any shipments coming through this way until I get that letter out.” ”Ur blowing smoke.” “This is the official seal of a Railroad Tech, that being me. I deemed that track hazardous. So nothing comes in, nothing comes out.” They both still look a little confused so you lean a little closer. “Let me put this in terms you’ll understand. No letter, no track. No track, no supplies. No supplies?” You reach out and snatch the bottle from the Pegasus, either too drunk or mind-fucked to care. “I guess you can kiss this sweet cider goodbye.” Taking a relieving swig you walk back to the door. “So unless you pair of drunks want to go cold turkey this time in about, say three days, I would get to sending that letter as soon as possible. Adios!” The door shuts just as you remember something. Walking back in you see the Pegasus drunkenly fumbling with his courier bag. “Oh yeah, and I’ll be taking this back,” swiping up your bits, “If you’re lucky, you’ll get a couple tomorrow.” Before they can say anything you shut the door behind you, giving a hearty yawn, not noticing the shadow approaching you, “Howdy partner!” Oh god not him… Just the sound of his voice is enough to last a lifetime. “Watcha doing out here? Sending a letter out to the misses?” he jokes, walking dangerously close to you. “No, Braeburn,” you move to escape him, but he follows right on with you. ”Sorry I couldn’t come down earlier. We’ve all been working on that house for the past week, ain’t no way I dropping my britches then and there.” “Don’t worry about it,” you reply coldly, swigging your cider with the same expression. ”Yeah… We’s fixin’ to expand out a ways. Ah had to get down from there, it’s hotter than a goat in a pepper patch up there, though I reckon you’s know something about that.” “Don’t I ever,” you look around, not wanting to make the same mistake as earlier, “Where’s the store?” ”Confused aren’t ya? That’s alright, it’s over yonder, I’ll show ya.” You really wish he wouldn’t, but the sooner you get some food and supplies, the sooner you can sleep. Braeburn eyes your cider with a grin, “Enjoy that did ya? Ya don’t got to answer, it’s uh- what you city colts call it? A something question.” “Rhetorical, and I’m not a city boy.” ”Don’t get your britches in a twist, I’s just playing around some, partner.” You don’t have them in a twist, and you’re definitely not his partner. ”Gosh darnit, I almost forgot to ask! All us ponies are having a little get-together tonight up in the saloon.” Christ man, can’t he take a hint? What makes him think you want to go? ”I knows you weren’t so keen on it last time, but I ain’t taking no for answer this time, ya hear partner? You’re gonna have a good time, even if it kills ya!” he laughs to your displeasure. “No, Braeburn. I’m busy.” He smirks purposely, “My flank you are. Come on partner, when’s the last time ya took off the saddle and cut yourself a piece of pie.” Take off the saddle? That sounds like some kind of sexual innuendo coming from them, well, riding bareback isn’t your fetish either. He takes your silence as license to keep talking, “It’ll be good for ya, Apple’s Honor. What’s the worst that could happen?” “I could have fun,” the word almost causing you pain just to say. Life isn’t about having fun. It’s about getting through the day to day, putting in the work to make it a better place. This ‘get-together’ is just a distraction from the goal, and you’ll have none of it. Braeburn snickers at your remark as the two of you round the road, “If ever I saw one, you’d be the joker. See, this is why ya need to come out tonight, get a little socializing time with the rest of us.” “Not the social type.” ”Don’t be a stick the mud. Aha! You looked like you enjoyed that cider, didn’t ya? Rhetorical question!” You’ll admit, that was kind of funny, but he’s still not going to convince you. ”Well, I’ll have you know, Mr. Anon Mud Stick, that there’s a lot more where that came from, tastier too. Finished up the brew this morning, and MMM-UHMMM! I think my grammy might have her work cut out for her.” “I don’t drink,” while you finish the rest of the cider. You cut him off before he can draw this to your attention. “I don’t drink in excess. One’s more than enough.” ”Where’s the fun in that? Half of the fun is waking up in a bale of hay, bruised hooves, and a whole bucket of questions. Ya can’t say that ain’t fun.” “I don’t drink,” you repeat once more, making it very apparent that this subject is over. He swallows hard, perhaps your wish has finally come true and he’s swallowed his tongue. But after a few seconds he speaks again, much to your displeasure. ”Mares, there ain’t nothing in Equestria than spending some quality time behind the old barn than that I reckon. Ugh, that’s sick. There’s no way you’d ever go for that, you’re not that desperate. Shrugging off his utterly disgusting suggestion, you look onwards, spotting the store you’re headed for. ”I saw you walk in on Ms. White down the road, getting mighty comfy with her hmmm?” Braeburn’s tone hinting at something much more. “I walked in by mistake and that’s that,” you reply, finally stopping in front of the store with a sigh. ”No mares huh. Alright, I better let you get to it.” You’d jump for joy if it wasn’t for the fact that you’d have to hit yourself afterward. ”Unless,” Braeburn turns his head up curiously, “You’re more of a- *cough cough* stallion man.” Why is it so hard to get a little peace and quiet? He chuckles as you walk up the steps, “Just yanking yer chain, partner. So how about it? Do I save you a seat?” “I’ll think about it.” ”Really?” “No,” you enter the store as swiftly as possible, leaving him back outside. ”Hey now don’t be such a stick in the mud,” you hear him call in his overly friendly manner, but you just roll your eyes and move to the desk. The mare behind the desk looks up just long enough to show that she knows you’re there, then moving back to her book with a yawn. So… You’re not the only one who’s a tired wreck. Good, you shouldn’t be carrying all the baggage around here. Grabbing a loaf of bread off the shelf you scratch your chin, grabbing a second one just in case. If that Twilight girl does come… God, don’t even think about it. You’ve got enough on your mind as it is. Then again, if she really does… You pick up a small bag of potatoes as well and head for the counter. She yawns and puts down her book, “Will this be it for you?” “Do you have a water pump here?” waving your empty canteen, “I could use a refill.” ”Yeah, it’ll take a minute.” Handing it over she goes to the backroom, letting you twiddle your thumbs and wait. What if she does come? What if you actually have to let her tag along? Oh lord, what have you done… She’d be there, all the time. Always watching and talking, asking questions like some shrink. Pfft, and to think you’d have gotten away from it all. You check your watch, drumming your fingers against the counter until she comes back out, “Will that be it?” “That’s it.” You hand over your bits that you would’ve used for that damn courier service with a small grin. ”So… Breaburn huh?” she asks, counting your bits. “Yeah. He’s- something else.” ”You’ve got that right. At least you get to leave, I’m stuck here in this town.” “It’s a bit of a shitbox isn’t it?” ”No need to be so nice about,” she finishes bagging up your purchase, “What’s it like out there?” “Free. Do I need to sign anything?” ”Doesn’t it get lonely?” Does it? “No,” you answer, “So do I sign anything?” ”No, I’ll see you around,” nestling back into her book. Not likely. Walking out you head to your little get-away up in the rocks. The sun’s fading behind the horizon at this point, so you whip out your bag and get a small fire going. You rub your hands over the flames, combating the rapidly approaching chill of night. It’s a good feel though, helps make sure you’re still up and ticking. A grumble from your belly tells you it’s time to eat, so you break off a hunk of bread and sate your hunger. Leaning back you watch the stars overhead, far brighter than you ever remember them being back home. Astronomy always bored you, but the stars still grabbed your attention. Light-years away those giant masses manage to push out such a glow. A part of you wonders if your sun is out there somewhere, somewhere in the sky. Your home’s out there as well, all the people you left behind. Not really many of those actually. Just one you really cared about… Your heart sinks as you think about the past, and you quickly thrust the thoughts aside for the stars to shine into your mind. Biting off another piece makes the scene complete, just you and the stars. A laugh breaks your silence, forcing you to get up and investigate. The town’s alight with the buzz of ponies trotting down to the local tavern, the mare you heard erupting into another fit of laughter before being escorted back inside. ”Who’s that up there?” you hear another pony ask closer to the edge of town, a filly and his father. ”Doesn’t matter, some nut or another, come on, mommy is waiting for us.” Just enjoy the night Anon. Let it go. Back by the tavern, you can barely make out the frame of Braeburn at the doors, looking over the approaching crowd. He greets each one that comes in but… You slink back down into your nook, throwing a stick in the fire. “Damn fool…” Kicking another twig into the fire you lay down and close your eyes. You just need some sleep. That morning… You stretch your arms out, brushing it against the lukewarm twigs from last night’s fire. Breakfast, or a shower? Breakfast. Shower. Tentatively, you raise your arm and whif, instantly wheezing like a smoker on his eighth pack. “I guess my body chose for me.” Standing up, you crack your back and look down on the town, the street laden with empty bottles and quite a few snoozing drunks. “See kids, this is why you don’t drink.” Bagging your stuff you head down again, not entirely sure where you might go to take a shower. This place isn’t exactly the pinnacle of civilization, so running water might be as rare as a giant poke doted leprechaun. You’ve actually seen one once, that was a creepy ass fair though. You don’t know where they got that pig-bear-man. Then again, you could’ve been hallucinating, but this doesn’t help you now does it? It’s not like you know anyone here besides Braeburn, and even then, you wouldn’t use his shower if he paid you. Wait what about that one mare? You walked in on her by accident, oh damn, what was her name? You remember Braeburn saying it, but you were actively not paying attention. Urrr- White! That was it, thank you ears for being so keen. Perhaps she’ll be kind enough to let you use her shower, or whatever she uses to wash herself. Come on, hurry up Anon. The grim feels like its multiplying. Jogging down the dead street you eventually find her home, giving a short one-two knock. What if she’s hungover and you just pissed her off? Fuck, why didn’t you think this through? The door opens, and you can barely see a groggy eye peeking through the hole, “Hello?” “Sorry to bother you, but can I use your shower?” ”No.” Well that was quick. ”Feel free to use the hose out back. No offence hun, but you showing up here twice puts me on the wrong side of tomorrow, if you get my drift.” “No, I really don’t.” You can hear her sigh through the door, “Just don’t use it all, alright? My foals still need a wash.” ”No we don’t.” ”You’s getting a bath whether you like it or not!” she yells back at them, “Sorry, just head around back. Pump’s by the shed.” “Thanks,” you head around back, taking off your bag as you walk. A nice wash will do your body good. You can hardly remember the feel of hot water. You give the pump a few good turns, jumping as the icy water hits your hand. “I guess I won’t remember it for a while yet…” You start to undress, taking off your shirt, when you realize that here in the back you’re wide out in the open. As much as you’d like to show the world what you’ve got, there’s a fine line in the sand, and this is about a mile over. Your eyes dwindle over the shed, the boards almost falling off the damn thing. Sporotrichosis or public nudity? You’ll take the infection anyday, you think pulling the hose along to the shed. You wind it through one of the windows that line either side, draping your clothes on the other. The water trails down the sole of your foot, almost causing you to jump. You raise the hose away from you and prepare to swallow your tongue. “This is going to suck,” slowly turning it back to you. “Fu- fu- fu- fuck!” Your whole body shudders as it feels like you’ve been dunked in arctic waters. You have to hold your hands together to stop them from shaking. “Why couldn’t I have picked breakfast?” No soap, so you won’t be getting completely clean, but a rinse is better than a stew in your own filth. Your mind travels back to the water and you instantly shiver. “Gah- I’ve got to get my mind off of this.” Think about something else, anything else. You’re back home, in a nice hot shower. Ohh… Your body almost feels like it’s getting warmer. Why don’t you do this more often? Closing your eyes, you envision the porcelain tiles that line the walls, showerhead running off above. A smile creeps onto your face as you relive that moment, getting ready for graduation, the smell of freshly cooked bacon seeping into the air. “Michelle, my belle. These are words that go together well, My Michelle.” You wave a single back and forth as you hum the tune, completely forgetting how crappy your situation is. “I love you, I love you, I love you. That's all I want to say.” The water really does feel hot again, almost stingingly so, but it fits your memory so well. You don’t even hear the hooves outside in your daze. “My Michelle...” ”Who’s Michelle?” Your eyes snap open to a pair of purple eyes… and hair… mane… horn… “Twilight…” you grumble, your mind finally coming to. Why’s the water still hot? “Gah!” Your hands push the hose away, Twilight’s eyes strolling up and down your body, “So that stuff wasn’t your skin? It was clothing?” “Don’t look-” your hands cover your privates, the hose falling back into position, “Ga- Stupid hose!” ”I was told you went this way so I warmed up the water for you,” she smiles as you avoid the blistering water. “I’m bathing, get out!” ”I was just-“ ”I said-” you begin to shout, another spray of water forcing you to jump away into the opposite wall, a sickening creak following your impact. “Please no…” The weight of the structure begins to shift, and before you can escape the entire building leans over, collapsing on top of you. This is why you work alone… You crawl out of the wreckage, pulling your now soaked clothing with you through the muddy soil. Meanwhile, Twilight, the unicorn with less brains than half a downs-zombie, is tossing the wreckage left and right looking for you. ”Anon? Omigosh, I’m so sorry. Are you down there?” If you were, she’d be crushing you, the dumb mare. You stand up, marveled at the fact you haven’t been impaled, and also enraged at how you’re dirtier than you were before. Well, at least your satchel came out mud and water free. With one hand you scoop off a glob of mud from your leg, flicking it away so you can at least put on your boxers. ”Mom! That weird thing is throwing poop!” No- God you hate children. They just make everything worse. Twilight finally looks over as you finish zipping your pants, “Oh thank Celestia you’re alright. I thought you were crushed.” “No thanks to you. What the hell were you thinking?! Do people not know the meaning of privacy here?” ”What in Tartarus happened here?!” Rubbing your eyes, you turn around facing Ms. White who’s livid to say the least, “My kids were telling me you were throwing poop around! And my shed! I hope you’re going to pay for that.” There goes your plans for a vacation… “I can explain…” ”And who they hay is this?” she points to your ‘accomplice.’ ”My name’s Twilight Sparkle.” ”Oh that’s just grand,” she looks back to you, “What happened? You two were butting hooves in my shed? There’s plenty a bush if ya need privacy.” “It was an accident. I slipped in shower after… Twilight here,” you hiss the last part, “Surprised me. It didn’t help that the shed was an accident waiting to happen.” ”You trying to blame my shed? Besides, who said you could go in there? All you were supposed to do was use the hose.” “Look, I’ll pay for the fucking shed, okay? Get off my ass, this whole place is starting to piss me off.” ”Good, I think a hundred bits otta do me good.” “A- a hundred? Are you off your rocker?!” She sits on her flank and crosses her hooves, “That, or I could call Braeburn.” The alternative never crosses your mind as you scour through your bag, “A hundred right?” After handing over the bits, leaving you with a whopping three fucking coins left, you being skulking over to the couriers office, Twilight by your side. You stretch your arms, some of the mud crusting up under your arms, your clothes still sopping wet. ”If you want, I can dry those-“ “You know, the last thing I wanted was for you to show up in the fucking first place, so if you could do me a solid and shut that trap of yours, that’d be great.” ”My trap? I don’t get it.” How much bad karma do you have to deserve this? “Of course you wouldn’t. Just be quiet.” She smiles, her horn beginning to glow as she opens up the bags on either side of her back, a scroll floating in front of you. “And what is this supposed to be?” ”It’s my permission slip,” she says with almost childlike glee, “Open it.” You snatch it, unamused at how happy she can be after what she’s done to you. Been here a whole ten minutes and she’s already made you lose two years of saving. “Let’s see here… ‘To whom it may concern, It has come to my attention blah blah blah, Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student,” you eye her with suspicion. ”It’s true.” “Doubt it. Where were we… ‘faithful student is tasked with accompanying you on your future ventures… From, Princess Celestia.’” Prin- Princess. A- The princess wrote you a letter. A motherfucking princess! Why couldn’t it have been about something else, anything else. ”Does this mean I can come with you?” You shake your head in your hands, sobbing like a little baby in your mind. “This is going to be a long week.” ”Week? I’m not leaving that soon, I’ll be here for months. We’ll learn so much about each other,” she squees in delight. “Forgive me if I don’t hold my breath… Here it is.” ”Here’s what?” she asks as you walk up to the courier’s door. “This is where our, god I hate saying that word, ‘our’ journey begins.” Please Steel Bit, if you have any powers of omnipotence, fire me here and now. The door chimes open, the desk still littered with scrolls, but at least that drunk bastard is awake. Well, sort of. He’s leaning against his hoof, struggling to stay up. “So I guess the threat of losing your booze didn’t get it through huh?” He snaps to attention, stumbling back on his school for a moment, “You! No no, we’ve got it out alright. I’m just waiting on that pair of wings to get back.” “I’m losing my patience,” you cross your arms with a squelch. ”It coming, don’t ya worry none. It should be back any minute now.” He looks behind you as Twilight enters, immediately putting on his cool face, “Well hello there gorgeous. Welcome to the Winged Courier, fastest guys around. Let me start off by saying that you’re the prettier than a slice of pie.” ”Oh, thank you,” she blushes. Why does this shit never work for you? Nevermind… “The flight shouldn’t ever take this long. Hell, this chick got here faster than him.” ”It’s ain’t a fault of mine. Just calm down.” Grumbling, you sit and wait, tearing through another hunk of bread. Twilight looks over you with interest, fervently taking notes. With a grunt you swivel in your chair, turning your back to her as you eat. At least you would, if she didn’t scoot hers around so she could get a better glimpse of you. “Git!” you shoo her away, “No privacy, Christ.” A stumble and groan sounds from the back, the backdoor creaking open as the Pegasus limps through, “I- I got it!” He falls on his face and starts crawling along, Twilight looking on in shock. You just smile smugly and eat your breakfast, the feathery fuck deserved it. The earth pony helps him up and takes the letter, reading over the tag, “It’s for you.” “About damn time,” you put your food away, hearing him snicker ever so slightly. “Unless you’d like to forget the taste of cider, keep the snickering to yourself.” You rip it off his hooves and pull it open, traveling over the lines carefully as you sit back down. In this job, every little detail is key. The more you know, the better you can perform. Hushed breaths line your neck with unwanted heat, Twilight hovering just over your shoulder. ”Who’s Steel Bit?” “My boss. Let’s go Twilight, we’ve got ground to cover.” ”Hey!” the earth pony exclaims before you can leave, “We haven’t been paid.” “Oh yeah,” you pull out your last three bits, giving Twilight one last glare before tossing them his way, “Keep the change.” As you start walking it’s silent but then she has to open her mouth, “So-“ “Tampa Neigh. My boss will be there. He’s already reopened the railway until we can get the resources to fix the problem.” That fool… Don’t say that, Steel Bit’s done well for you. He must have his reasons. ”That’s not what I was going to ask.” “Please, feel free to hit me with any question you want then. I’m at your disposal,” resent heavy in your tone. ”I was wondering who Michelle was. Is that your wife?” “I could laugh right now, but I’m too pissed at the moment.” Oh, she’s still waiting for your answer huh? Figures. “It’s just a song, and no, I didn’t have a wife back home.” ”Back home? You’re not from here?” Really, is she this dense? “Unless you’ve seen others like me around here, then obviously no, I’m not from this cesspool.” ”Then where? Is it like this one?” “Remember when I told you to be quiet?” She shakes her head, typical. “Oh! I have to get the rest of my stuff!” Twilight gallops off the opposite direction, “Come on.” “Have mercy…” you groan, trailing behind. Eventually you come to a… chariot, two guards in the front who are dripping sweat. You recognize them by their armor. They… greeted you, when you first came to Equestria. Quite the pushovers actually. But it isn’t the guards or the chariot that catch your attention, but the five colossus bags that are in the back. “You’ve got to be shitting me?” No wonder the guards are sweating, they’re hauling a boxcar worth of haul! They were lucky to get off the ground. Using her magic, Twilight finally manages to get one, ONE, off the back before she starts to sweat, “Care to give me a hoof?” You wiggle your fingers as the guards sadly unclamp and go to help her, Twilight instead taking more notes. ”Fingers… instead… of… hooves. What are they called? Is it a foove?” You sigh, rubbing your temples in hopes to stave away the oncoming headache. “This is going to be a very long trip…”