The past two weeks had gone horribly, to say the least. Trixie hadn’t given up; despite her misery, she had tried again and again to find a way into Canterlot. She’d been so determined to see Luna… but she didn’t even manage to get to the castle. She made it into the city a couple times, but that was it. Every attempt ended in a terrifying flight from the region after she was caught and chased by the guards.
They were doing an impressive job of watching out for her. Trixie sometimes wondered if they didn’t have anything better to do with their time; wasn’t there some other fugitive they were supposed to be chasing? Sometimes it felt like the whole of Canterlot was baying for her blood. But Trixie didn’t stop trying, knowing that if she could see Luna – just speak to her – she might be able to fix everything.
Her initial determination didn’t last. Her repeated failures were bad enough, but Nightmare Moon was still tormenting her dreams. Never actually there, always hidden in the background. Mocking, but never responding to queries. Trixie no longer questioned the reality of her dreams; there was no doubt Nightmare really was there, laughing at her desperation. The dreams sapped her morale, weakened her resolve. Though she tried to use them to speak with Luna, she eventually gave up to spare herself the pain of hope.
Then news came out that Luna had left Canterlot entirely. Nopony knew where she was, and it was possible she’d be gone for a while. The information had sent chills down Trixie’s spine. Surely she hadn’t been sent back to the moon by Celestia? If that was the case, then everything Tixie worked for was gone.
The idea that Luna might not even be in Equestria anymore was the nail in the coffin of Trixie’s resolve. Hopeless and miserable, she’d left the city and begun the long, lonely trek. She considered taking Twilight and her friends up on the offer to join them in Ponyville, but could conjure no enthusiasm for the idea. What were they to do other than fight a losing battle against impossible odds? It was hopeless…
So there she was, sitting before a door in the rain. Her stomach rumbled, her eyelids drooped, but neither compared to the pain in her heart. The sight of this town, of this door, was like a slap in the face. She felt as if she was right back where she’d started.
No. This was worse. Worse, because this time she’d had real hope for her future. She’d been moving forward to something better, or so it had seemed, and now that path was lost. Probably forever.
Yet even as she lamented her position, she reminded herself that she’d no place else to go. No family, no money, no job. If she couldn’t get help here, then she was truly doomed. So, sucking down a long breath, she trudged off the street and up the steps. It took all her willpower to knock on the door.
She sat, body sagging and long mane covering her eyes. She felt so empty. Crossing that threshold… she wasn’t sure she wanted to do it. But what else was there?
It took several seconds for the door to open. Magenta hooves appeared at the doorstep where Trixie’s eyes were locked. She didn’t look up, she didn’t speak. She just waited, chest tight and heart heavy.
“So you finally showed up.” Amethyst’s voice was hard as rocks.
Trixie turned her head away and kept quiet.
“I take it Luna screwed you and then threw you away?”
Trixie winced. “I… I’m sorry, Ammy.”
“You’re sorry.” There was a profound lack of sympathy in Amethyst’s voice. “Yeah, I know you are. I am too.”
Trixie raised her head to view Amethyst from between soft blue bangs. Her old friend was studying her, lips set in a grim frown and eyelids lowered in scrutiny. She tried to speak, but couldn’t find the words, so she just let her head droop once more. Silence lingered in the air between them, every second making Trixie feel more and more foalish.
“Goodbye, Trix.”
Trixie’s head jerked upright, eyes going wide as Amethyst turned and began to close the door. “Wha—? Wait!” She moved forward, but was too late; the door slammed in her face. “Ammy! P-please, don’t abandon me! I’ve nowhere else to go!”
Amethyst’s dull voice floated past the door. “Go away, Trixie.”
“Amethyst!” Trixie reared back to press her hooves against the door, as if she might push it open. “You can’t just leave me like this! I’m sorry about what happened in the slums, I really am!”
“The slums?” The door jerked open, and Trixie let out a shout as she toppled forward. Amethyst caught her before she could hit the ground and shoved her, sending her falling down the stairs. Trixie landed in a puddle and found herself coated in mud.
Amethyst stood over her, legs spread wide in an aggressive pose. Her eyes burned into Trixie’s heart. “You think this is about the slums? I am not some Luna-be-damned charity!”
Trixie didn’t bother getting up. She was too shocked by her old friend’s outburst to try.
“Ch-charity?”
Amethyst stood tall, eyes flashing. “You never change, do ya, Trix? When you crashed with me the first few times, I was happy to oblige. But then it kept happening! You just wouldn’t straighten up and get a bucking life, would you? I’ve been foalsitting your wretched rump for ten years, and I’m sick of it!”
Trixie could only stare up at her in disbelief. “But… B-but I thought—”
“What is the matter with you?!” Amethyst’s words rolled over Trixie’s. “You get these ideas, try to milk these bucking dreams. Then it all comes crashing down, and next thing I know you’re right back here on my bucking doorstep! Get a real job, live a normal life, show some bucking responsibility! I thought maybe if I acted less like a friend you’d grow up, but clearly I overestimated you.”
“B-but…” Trixie manage to sit up, ignoring the mud on her coat and the water dripping off her mane as she stared up at the pony who had kept her aloft all these years. “But I th-thought we were friends. I-I need help, Ammy.”
“Don’t you always?” Amethyst spat the counter. “We were friends, Trixie. That’s why right now I’m gonna do what might be the best favor I ever have done for you: I’m turning my back. Maybe it’ll teach you to take charge of your own life, but I’m not holding my breath. Now get the buck off my lawn before I tell the cops there’s a fugitive in town.”
She turned for the door, and Trixie leapt to her hooves.
“Ammy!”
Amethyst paused, head tilting back to indicate she was listening.
“P-please… don’t do this…”
Amethyst made a disgusted sound and went inside, slamming the door. Trixie gaped through the rain at the sound of the turning lock.
An intense horror crept over her at the realization that she was truly alone. Her bastion – the one pony she could always rely on – wasn’t going to be there for her. She lowered her head as she began to hyperventilate, legs shaking and chest heaving. No… No, this couldn’t be happening.
“Amethyst!” She ran to the door, banging on it with both hooves. “Amethyst, please, don’t do this to me! I don’t know what to do, where to go! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! For everything! Please…”
She ran out of energy and fell against the door. Her cheek pressed into the mud her hooves had left on the wood, tears streaming down her already-moist cheeks. “Ammy, please…”
No answer came. Trixie lay on her belly and wept, but the door never opened. She was left with the heart-rending truth that, this time, she really was alone.
A day had passed since Amethyst had abandoned Trixie. The former showpony found herself lying under a cardboard box in an alley, watching the sun set over the Hoofington landscape. Her stomach growled, but she did her best to ignore it; she wasn’t reduced to thievery quite yet. At the rate she was going, though, it might just be inevitable.
She set her chin down atop her legs, fresh tears coming to her eyes. She didn’t want night to come. Night meant sleep, and sleep offered no salvation. Nightmare Moon hadn’t come last night, and her disappearance was like a knife to the heart. Trixie had thought she’d be happy to be rid of her, but if Nightmare Moon was gone… did that mean Luna was too?
Was she beneath their attention now?
Well, she had to acknowledge that she was pretty pathetic. Amethyst was right to reject her; she didn’t deserve to be cared for. So instead she was stuck here, sleeping in a cardboard box and not knowing what she was going to do with the rest of her life. Perhaps she should have stayed in the Canterlot slums. She could imagine herself being found in some abandoned alley, wasting away and heaving her last breath. She would go the way of Twilight: alone, wretched and not thought of save to have her lifeless body searched for valuables.
So ends the un-illustrious career of the Great and Powerful Trixie. What a joke. If anypony called her that now she’d probably buck them in the face. She was sick of calling herself that.
A chill breeze whistled through the alley. Trixie curled up within her box, shivering and dreading the coming of sleep.
“Ah, zere you are.”
Trixie’s ear flicked at the unfamiliar voice. She heard hoofsteps approaching, but didn’t turn to see who it was. Surely nopony with any interest in a wretched soul such as herself.
“Hello? You are still alive, yes?”
Trixie blinked; that was definitely aimed at her. She raised her head to look out of her tiny box, and was startled to find herself staring at a unicorn she’d never met before. She was tall, with a pale-pink coat and long pink mane. The mare had a perfect smile, her soft violet eyes watching Trixie beneath long lashes. Trixie might prefer the dark colors of Luna, but there was no denying that this had to be one of the single most beautiful ponies she’d ever laid eyes on.
Why would anypony who looked like that be wandering around the cold streets looking for her?
“Do… Do I know you?”
The unicorn’s smile broadened as she sat, her every motion about as graceful as those of Celestia. “No, I fear ve have not had ze pleasure of meeting. You are Trixie, are you not?”
Trixie stepped out of her box, uncomfortably aware of how dirty and unkempt she looked. She felt like a lowly peasant compared to the perfectly-groomed creature sitting before her. “Y-yes, I’m Trixie. Who are you?”
The unicorn set a hoof to her heart and bowed in a formal fashion that made Trixie anxious. “I am called Fleur de Lis. I am here to offer some advice. Some… direction.”
Something clicked in Trixie’s mind, and she lowered her head with a sigh. “Fine Crime. You’re an Archon, aren’t you?”
Fleur raised her head and flicked her mane. “An Archon? Vy, I am member of Order of Shadows! Ve are ze Archons.” But then she giggled, covering her lips with a dainty hoof. “Oh, please forgive. I am rather proud pony, and forget zat you do not know of us.”
Trixie glowered, the rumbling of her stomach limiting her interest in this conversation. “Why would Fine want anything to do with me? If he knows half as much as he’s supposed to, he’d know that Trixie has been cast out.” She cringed at her own words. “I’m of no use to him now.”
“Oh, but you are.” The beautiful pony giggled at Trixie’s frown. “You are confused! Fret not, my little pony, your time has not ended. You may still have part in ze coming events.”
‘My little pony?’ She really was proud, wasn’t she? But Trixie realized that she wasn’t one to criticize. Besides, she had more important issue on her mind. “Take a look.” She gestured to the alley surrounding them, then at the box she’d been about to sleep in. “Do I look like hero material to you? Trixie has enough problems just trying to find something to eat.”
At that Fleur smiled once more, her horn glowing. Some pink clouds poofed into existence between them and there, sitting innocuously on a small table, appeared a large salad. “Bon appétit!”
Trixie stared at the delicious-looking salad, but held back. She gestured to it as she asked, “Y-you’re feeding me? Why?”
Fleur’s head rose in a haughty pose. “Do you zink me so cold as to let pony starve? Ve have souls, zough ve are Archons. Unless you vish to reject my kindness?”
Trixie snatched the bowl up, holding it close. “No, no! I’ll take it, I’ll happily take it!” She blushed, realizing how she probably looked. A few weeks ago she’d have been more hesitant, but she had no room for pride at the moment. “Th-thanks…”
“Ze pleasure is mine,” Fleur replied, beaming. “I do hope you like it, it comes from finest restaurant in Hoovington. Please, do not mind me.”
Trixie glanced at the salad, then at her benefactor. She took a slow bite, and her eyes nearly watered at the delicious blend of ingredients. Fleur’s smile widened at what had to have been a heavenly expression on Trixie’s face.
Trixie had a few more bites, but even the delicious salad couldn’t distract her from the topic at hand. She shot Fleur a suspecting look. “So what do the Archons want this time?”
“Everyzing.” Fleur’s face became hard. “And very little. At Fine’s request, you are to go on small pilgrimage.”
Trixie slumped over the salad. “Another trip? Trixie has been traveling for the past week!” She paused, thought on her words, then whacked herself on the head; that was going to be a hard habit to break. “I just want to focus on getting my life back together.”
Fleur blinked, expression softening as she tilted her head. “I am not understanding. Do you not vish to see ze Princess Luna once more?”
“Don’t do that!” Trixie dropped the salad as she jumped to her hooves, tears suddenly in her eyes. “Don’t use her name to manipulate me!”
Fleur eyed the upturned salad bowl with a pout. “I am not manipulating. My vords are truth. If seeing ze princess is your vish, zis may be last chance.”
Trixie turned her head away, struggling to stop her tears. “W-what good will it do me? Luna doesn’t care. If she d-did…”
Fleur set a hoof to her chin as she studied Trixie. “Hmm… Have you given up hope?”
Trixie considered the question, bitterness and anger boiling inside her. Everything she’d tried had failed. Luna wouldn’t even talk to her in her dreams! What chance did she have?
But then… if there was even the slimmest chance…
She sighed and turned back to the beautiful Archon, sitting with head bowed. “Where is Trix- I, where am I supposed to go?”
Fleur’s smile returned in an instant. “Ze Castle of Royal Pony Sisters. You know of it?”
Trixie scowled. “I know of it. Isn’t it just a ruin, now?” Fleur nodded. “Where is it?”
“Ze Everfree Forest.”
“The Everfree Forest?” Trixie threw up her hooves in frustration. “That’s all the way to Ponyville! Besides, it’s huge. How am I supposed to find it?”
Something new poofed into existence, pink clouds fading quickly. It was a pack saddle. Fleur gestured to it with a smug smile. “A map is inside.”
Trixie hesitated, but pulled the saddle close and looked inside. Her eyes went wider and wider as she checked each bag; there was enough food and bits in the thing to last her a few weeks! She looked up at Fleur. “Is this all for me?”
Fleur nodded yet again. “You are to go to castle and locate ze alicorn statue. Zat is all.”
“Alicorn statue?” Trixie shook her head. “What good’s a statue gonna do me?”
Fleur shrugged. “I can say no more. You have your quest, my friend. I vish you luck.”
“Wait.” Fleur, having turned from Trixie, paused and cast a questioning look her way. “Can I ask a question or two?”
Fleur didn’t hesitate. “You may ask, but answers may not come. Please understand.”
Trixie chewed her lip, wondering if she wanted the answers at all. “Fine Crime… Does he really think I can save Luna?”
Again, no hesitation. “Fine believes you may hold ze key to saving Equestria, not just pretty princess.”
“Huh.” Trixie didn’t know whether to believe this or not, but it felt comforting all the same. Her next question was more of a curiosity. “Is Octavia really his wife?”
Fleur’s smile cracked, and Trixie thought she saw a twitch. “Y…yes. Excuse me; I have Archon business to attend to.”
Trixie had more questions, but she held her tongue; something about the look in Fleur’s eyes right before she turned away suggested that asking anything else was a bad idea.
Trixie spent some time going over the saddle’s contents, but it was only to find something to do. Her mind was turning her options over again and again, trying to form a decision. Should she go along with this idea? Head all the way to the Everfree Forest? What good would it do her? She felt like Fine was grasping for straws with this latest move.
But what else was she going to do with her time?
What a stupid question, she was supposed to be getting her life together!
This could be a fresh opportunity, though…
Idiot, this kind of thing was exactly why Amethyst was so mad.
But Trixie didn’t know how to put her life back together!
Galloping off on another half-baked adventure surely wasn’t a start.
Fine Crime thought there was a chance…
And she believed that bastard?
No. No she didn’t, and she wasn’t about to start. After all, look at all he had done. It was no wonder he was reviled by most of Equestria! She was tired of being manipulated by him, and this was just another example of his unwanted work. She didn’t want anything to do with it!
She turned away from the saddle, ready to give up on everything… until she felt an unfamiliar motion against her chest. She looked down to see Luna’s necklace, slipped sideways from her quick motion.
It rested over her heart.
Trixie’s anger faded as her chest tightened. Chewing her lip, hooves shaking, she lifted the necklace and stared at the onyx moon. It was so dark, dark like the night. Luna’s beautiful night… She clutched the necklace close to her chest and tried to keep her emotions in check. Now was not the time for crying, it was the time for action! She didn’t care if she was being manipulated by Fine.
If there was a chance she could save Luna – no matter how small it might be – she had to try.
Another week gone, and Trixie found herself in the Everfree Forest. It was a dark night, with thick clouds threatening rain. She walked slowly, horn casting a dim glow as she studied the map Fleur had given her. If she was reading it correctly she would be at the ruins soon.
The trip had been uneventful. Long, but uneventful. Trixie had spent much of it wondering if she weren’t on some foal’s errand. Not once had the Archons contacted her, and she’d been extra careful to avoid meeting other ponies on the road; the closer she was to Canterlot, the more wary she was of being recognized.
After all, she was a fugitive now.
She did stop by Ponyville, though. She had hoped to see Twilight and the others, if only to know what their plans were. Twilight hadn’t been home, however, and none of the others she’d fought were around either. So Trixie had moved on, heart heavy but mind focused.
The Everfree Forest was nothing like Trixie had imagined. All her life ponies had spoken of the woods in hushed whispers, as if it were the spookiest and most dangerous place in all of Equestria. As she found herself passing through it, though, she was strangely disappointed.
It was just a forest. It was almost boring, really.
She lowered the map to peer through the trees and let out a relieved sigh; there, just visible between the thick tree branches, was a stone tower. At long last, she’d reached it! She could only be grateful that Fleur’s map was proving accurate.
The Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. Supposedly it had once been the shared home of Celestia and Luna, though why it had been abandoned was a historical mystery. Trixie found that story silly, though; if it had been the home of the royal siblings, wouldn’t Celestia have said so? Then again, Trixie wasn’t sure she could trust anything Celestia might say, which probably extended to things she didn’t say.
Which also led to a new, curious question: if it was the ancient home of Celestia and Luna, why would she let the fact fade from history? It seemed like such a minor thing.
Trixie began her search immediately, wandering about the decrepit, crumbling halls and overgrown walkways. Doorways stood open for her, the wood that had once made up their doors long rotted away. Some paths were blocked by collapsed walls or thick foliage. There was no way to get into the only standing tower by hoof. She used her teleportation magic to get up there anyway, but found it empty. No alicorn statue there.
Her lack of findings wasn’t the only thing on her mind. Trixie had a curious suspicion, a worry that she wasn’t alone. Everywhere she went, it felt as if she’d just missed somepony. Sometimes she thought she heard voices, only to round a corner and find nothing. And all along she had the incessant, nagging feeling that she was being watched.
Could the castle be haunted? Trixie had seen enough strange things in the past few weeks that a few ghosts wouldn’t surprise her at all. Still, the thought that she wasn’t as alone as she seemed to be kept her agitated and cautious. As such, she conducted her search silently, afraid to make any sound.
But she was also growing frustrated. With every room observed, each arch passed through, she felt more and more foalish. She couldn’t find the alicorn statue. She wasn’t even sure why she needed to find it, or what she’d do when she did. Maybe Fine really had sent her on some pointless errand. Surely it wasn’t his idea of a joke; as far as she could tell, Fine didn’t really have a sense of humor.
So what was she doing here, really?
After walking past the same overgrown wall for the fourth time, Trixie let out a shout and kicked the stone. She was tired of all this searching! It seemed like all she ever did anymore was search. Searching for the truth, searching for companionship, searching for a purpose, just searching. And yet here she was, exploring a potentially haunted castle in the middle of what many considered the most dangerous forest in Equestria, guided along by nothing but the word of a group of ponies she didn’t even trust!
She sat before a thick tree that grew against the wall and whacked her head a couple times against its hard trunk. “What am I doing?!”
The pain of the impacts brought her to her senses, and she noted something she hadn’t before: an opening. She peered at the thick foliage before her, and realized that there was nothing on the other side. Her eyes lifted to the walls, noting the shape of the stone. Was there an arch in there? Yes…
The tree had grown over a doorway, its trunk and limbs pushing through the stone almost as if it had forced its way through.
She hesitated; why bother going through when she would just be disappointed? But that old Trixie stubbornness got the better of her. Besides, she didn’t have anything better to do. Grumbling to herself about how she would strangle Fine Crime at the first opportunity, she lowered her head and focused on the teleportation spell, her world going bright.
When the light faded she stood in a wide courtyard of moss-covered stone. She sat, keeping her head bowed. She knew there was no point in looking, but she also knew that when she looked she would feel disappointment. So, just to hold back of that feeling of regret, she waited.
After what seemed like an eternity, she looked up.
There it was in the center of the courtyard: the alicorn statue. She stood tall on four hooves, head lowered with a miserable frown. Her wings were half-opened, and she was adorned with stone regalia. She was curiously familiar, and Trixie – too stunned by the act of finally finding it – had to stare for nearly a minute before she recognized what she was seeing.
It was a statue of Celestia.
She approached, tilting her head to study the pristine white stone from a different angle. There was no doubt that was the princess. It seemed completely untouched by the elements. “So… This is what Fine sent Trixie to find?”
Trixie sat before the forlorn statue, frowning as she tried to piece things together. Yet no matter how hard she looked at it, it was just a statue. She bowed her head and sighed. “Now what am I supposed to do?”
She was met with silence. She glanced about at the courtyard, completely surrounded by walls and nature. Finally, she turned back to the statue. “I don’t suppose it matters. All this time, just to find a stupid hunk of rock…”
But then, maybe it wasn’t so bad. Here she sat, in this forgotten place, with an equally forgotten pony statue. Maybe Fine was trying to tell her to disappear.
Maybe she should.
“You don’t mind if I stick around for a while, do you?” Trixie walked up to the statue with head low. “If you were the real Celestia you’d probably throw me out by the tail. Pretty sure she never cared about me, either.”
She didn’t know why she was talking to a statue, but she kept on. She settled under the stone legs and curled up beneath its pale face, which seemed to be looking down at her. “You know, there was a time when I idolized you. I thought you were a wonderful leader. Had I but known...”
Nothing but silence. Trixie didn’t mind; she set her chin upon her hooves and closed her eyes. “I wanted to see Luna again. I should have known better. This whole world’s going to Tartarus, and there’s nothing anypony can do. Still, even if she was in the guise of Nightmare Moon… just one more time would have been nice. Do you think she’ll ever come back?”
She glanced up at the statue, not expecting any sort of response. Perhaps she was going mad…
Perhaps it didn’t matter.
“Why did I even bother with the fights?” she wondered, dropping her head once more. “Why did I ever accept Luna’s challenge? Then again, I guess it was Nightmare’s challenge, wasn’t it? No matter, I would have been a failure either way. I guess I can’t blame her – it’s not her fault she's messed up in the head. I just… just wish I’d have served some purpose for her.”
With that last thought, she settled down to sleep, prepared for another night of bad dreams and misery. Perhaps she’d stay here. Stay and wither away. Odds were nopony’d miss her. Then again, maybe she’d go down as a sad legend: The Great and Powerful Trixie, the first pony to win Luna’s challenge, who won and disappeared. It could be almost storybook, a tragedy of sorts. It felt so… appropriate.
She winced; something had tapped her muzzle. She rubbed it and felt moisture. Was it going to rain, now? This night just kept getting better…
Another tap of water landed on almost the exact same place. She blinked and raised her head to look out at the courtyard, but there was no rain. Curious. Was it just a lucky—
A pair of drops fell before her eyes, one rapidly after the other. Brow furrowing, she looked up and saw the statue’s face.
It wasn’t rain; it was tears. The Celestia statue was crying.
Trixie’s jaw dropped. She gazed up at the statue for several long seconds, watching as the tears formed tiny rivers down hard cheeks and dripped off the stone chin. A statue was actually crying. How in the name of the Goddess could… a statue… cry…
A thought came to Trixie’s mind. A wild, unlikely, ridiculous thought. But once it had weeded its way in, it was the only thing she could think about. She lowered her head, breath coming in slow gasps as her heart pounded. The theory formed, took shape, solidified. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense.
“They say Celestia went mad because she’d lost a part of her soul.” Trixie stood and walked from the statue. “For a thousand years, society has crumbled under her rule.”
She turned to face the courtyard’s silent inhabitant. “You’re her, aren’t you? The other Celestia.”
No answer. Just tears.
“Luna said you were defeated and put away. Celestia confirmed that. But the story’s flawed.”
Trixie felt weak, realizing that she at last understood it all. Not just the fights: everything. The slums, the Archons, Luna... a history of poverty and war and misery. “Everything began when the Unknown Princess accidentally killed Discord over a thousand years ago. That’s when the curse started.”
Celestia had found a way to separate herself from her corrupt half, and sought to seal that half away for good.
Trixie reared back and held the stone face in her hooves. She observed the sad frown, just one feature on a face of utter despair and loss. Her heart ached at the sight. This wasn’t the face of evil. Celestia had deceived them all. She’d been deceiving everypony for the last thousand years. She’d even deceived her own sister. At last, Trixie knew why Fine had sent her here.
“She didn’t seal her dark half away,” Trixie whispered, legs shaking as she pressed her forehead against that of the statue. “It was you. You lost, didn’t you?
“You’re the good half.”