Chapter 6: Knee-Deep in their Dead
"Your tea and condiments, my good sir and lady"
The waiter gallantly served the sophisticated stallion and mare their tea and desserts at their table generously located near the edge of the cafe. Head up high, the servant trot with poise to the next table whose occupants admired with gleeful delight the presence of the most important pony in the world.
The white stallion sent his compliments to the cafe "Magnificent service, as always" using his magic, he lifted the tea cup as he begins to bask in the soft gorgeous scent of jasmine blossoms. Taking a sip to savor the soothing and divine taste of the heavenly drink, he placed the tea cup back to its mat and felt his soul expand
"Ah, the Numi Money King Jasmine Tea. Never had I spent 70 bits and felt more serene. The tea is simply lovely, there's no other word to describe it!"
"Only the best for the most important pony in the world, Fancy" the shapely blush-pink mare flattered the stallion as she gracefully sip hers "And yes, I most enjoy this selection. It does wonders to keep my figure"
"By the way dear Fleur, how was your photo shoot with that peculiar mare.. Photo Finish, was it?"
"Tolerable. But some of her designs do not fully complement my graceful figure" she did a pose as if a camera pony was nearby, eager to have her good side captured... which is of course every side of her figure
"Complement your graceful figure, you say?" Fancy Pants took another sip of his wonderful tea, ignoring the other ponies around them mimicking his poise "She once worked with a successful model once, got everyone hooked to her design - and the model herself"
"You mean Fluttershy?" Fleur tried to hide her disdain from just mentioning the name of the dreaded mare that momentarily took the spotlight from her once "I still don't see how that mare can possibly outshine me, surely there's no grace and figure that can possibly outshine mine" she rested her head to her hooves as she gave a seductive gaze at nothing, generously giving everypony a good view of her beauty
"I'd rather not converse about her like that if I were you. You do know she was nearly murdered days ago"
"What?" she stopped her gaze and fully flung her attention to Fancy "She was? Oh how horrid.."
".. I say, you really do not know?" Fancy shook his head, seemingly not quite used to Fleur's short attention span despite having her as his company for very long now "A monster that as of this moment has not been caught, killed all her pets and almost Fluttershy herself. Really Fleur, everypony knows what happened! The princesses themselves are attending the funeral as we speak"
"My goodness... I haven't noticed..."
"You never notice anything, darling" he gave her an understanding smile, not judging her for her lack of interest on virtually anything but herself "It also happens that our good friend Rarity is very close to Fluttershy herself. I sent my condolences through her for the poor pony, but of course we simply cannot attend the funeral since we are, as always, very busy" Fancy took another sip at his tea, which became inexplicably colder to his taste
"... I... I don't remember meeting Rarity lately"
"My dear, of course you don't" he smiled at her rather kindly again "You simply have your head high in the clouds that day, as always of course"
Fleur felt her cheeks redden and bowed her head from him, embarrassed at herself - something that happens so rarely to her. Being always confident of oneself all the time is a routine when you're a glamorous super model
"Fancy my dear, you always go around and point the worse in me" she faced the dashing gent, her face a bit tilted to her side and her eyes seductively half-closed she was giving him a cute stare, complementing her facial features
He softly chuckled at her display "Why Fleur, you can rest assure that nopony is perfect - and of course, that you stand out from those ponies indeed"
She just continued to give him her look, unfazed by the double meaning of his words. He was going to continue until he caught sight of a large puff of black smoke from across the street. Instantaneously a large creature standing on its hind legs appeared within the fog, gaining the attention of the nearby ponies around it.
"... I say..."
The creature looked hideous. Even from this distance he can tell the creature was wearing something red on what seems to be its head with nothing else covering its scarred fleshy body. It was carrying something on its claws with some bottles strapped somewhere above its legs and carrying something like a saddlebag
"... What in Equestria is that?"
"Oh Fancy, you always were the charmer"
The creature roared something... for some reason he thought he heard it speak common. He wonders what this creature is called and how come he never saw something like it before.
"...Hmm? You look like you've seen a ghost... oh my goodness, is there something on my face?"
Something flashed from that spot accompanied with a loud sound of explosion. The sound faded as soon as the flash of light from the spot with a nearby pony stumbling to the ground revealing... several large wounds... from it.
The sound caught the attention of everypony near the street, but for some reason the ponies in the cafe is completely oblivious of the scene from there, even Fleur as she hold up a mirror using her magic while inspecting her face
Fancy Pants couldn't take his eyes from the creature. Another explosion happened with another nearby pony wounded from the spot, its blood littered the store and floor. From what he could tell, the nearby ponies are already panicking at such magic running to and fro. Finally the ponies at the cafe took notice of the incident and began to shift their attention to the screaming ponies.. all except for Fleur, still scouring her reflection on the mirror
"Everybody say HEEEY!!" despite the distance, Fancy pants heard the monster's scream almost clearly. It really did speak common! .. but what did it meant?
Everypony in the cafe knew they were in immediate danger and began to leave their seats as soon as the monster faced the cafe. Except for Fleur still occupied with her mirror and Fancy himself too stunned while studying the creature, everypony began to panic as the bipedal hurl one of the bottles hanging from it at their direction
A fiery blast of light blinded him as it somehow numb his other senses, all he could feel was a high pitched ringing penetrating as he feel his flesh peel from the light. He almost heard Fleur scream in shock all but for a short time, lost forever. The last thing he only held on to was the thought of what this creature could be... and what could be happening at the mind of such a monster, without any remorse of its morbid actions.
"Tenenen-tenen-tenen-tenen-tenenen--tenenen-tenen-tenen-teneeeen!♪♪..."
"...Tenenen-tenen-tenen-tenen-tenenen--tenenen-tenen-tenen-TEEEN!♪♪"
Deadpool doesn't remember the last time he actually had fun like this. There's a certain knack you get when killing random people (or in this case, ponies) that isn't really necessary to the mission at hand - helps alleviate stress a lot. It's amazing how killing can help you in many ways without any of that lame guilt being in the way.
"Ho-Holy shit! Oh my god, this is so freaking awesome! HAHAHAHA!"
Ah, the sound of screaming people everywhere... well, ponies... damn, this cruelty to animals will definitely smear his chances to score some supermodel chicks, probably all of them are an advocate for PETA or something. Still, nothing feels more empowering than killing random innocents as they flee in terror at your bloodlust and/or the sight of your hideous body
Walking through the street he picked off the slower moving ponies as they flee from his Deadpool wrath - oh yeah! They all look pretty ridiculous though, almost all of them are wearing fancy clothing normally everywhere from glittery gowns to freaking tuxedos... what is this, National Geographic: Prom Night edition?
"Yahtzee!" He threw a grenade bottle hooked from his waist to a store that's probably a flower shop from by the looks of it across the blown up fine-dining restaurant sending out a lot of lower debris and a few pony parts
That was fun to watch. Deadpool checked his waist to see how many bottles he has left. Eight bottles left strapped around where his pockets used to be when his costume haven't blown up yet... Okay! remembering that encounter pissed him off again, but he IS here to relieve himself from a lot of frustration and stress though.
A whole lot of motherfucking frustration and stress.
He heard the voice of a woman crying inside the shop (which blew up and is on fire of course, thanks to Deadpool's stock knowledge from the Anarchist Cookbook), a light yellow pony with rosy red mane crawled out from the fumes, its stomach and half of its face bloody as it drag itself on the ground. He cocked his DIY shotgun as he aim the weapon at the limping pony. Hehe, 'cocked'... Catching his attention, the pony frantically tried to stand and run away from him but its efforts would be for naught as Deadpool blast of its head from the short distance, its brain littering the side of the ground.
Medium ranged shotgun - fuck yeah! You never really truly appreciate the wonder of guns unless you made one yourself and killed something with it - like a real man! He'd like to see the current iPhone generation kids do that. Remember kids - Real men make and kill with their own fire arms! just ask Teddy Roosevelt.
"Halt! Stand fast, you monster!"
Deadpool turned to his back to face the several large horses in shiny gold armor. "Oh look - the cavalry finally came. Seems I’m about to get knee-deep in the dead here"
There was panic somewhere in the streets. Several ponies alerted the guards to a mad creature using mysterious magic to kill everypony at the financial district of Canterlot. Flash Sentry, a new recruit to the royal guard was usually at his shift patrolling the castle but his senior officer sent him and two other experienced guards to the scene.
Leaving the castle, they ran into a large crowd of ponies fleeing from where the suppose monster was killing everypony. Flash, along with the other guards can see a trail of smoke from somewhere. From the screams of everypony else the monster seemed to have used its peculiar magic to set fire onto several businesses.
"Okay, the creature is definitely hostile. Remember your training Flash, don't lose focus" he whispered to himself, remembering his duty to preserve the peace and uphold order. Secretly he has been waiting for a time like this his entire life, now he can finally prove himself to everypony including himself how much he is capable of
"From the looks of it, this monster seems to be very capable. Remember, our orders are to distract it long enough for Unicorn Team to arrive. We don't want to attract more trouble than we have to" the beige earth pony reminded the two other stallions of their objective given to them by their commanding officer as they rush toward their mission
"What about Pegasus Team? How come we're the one tasked with distracting whatever the thing is and not them?" the white stallion remarked, seemingly defiant of the wisdom of their orders
"I don't know, but orders are orders"
The three royal guards finally caught up with a peculiar figure down the street, it was carrying something large and using its magic they saw it kill somepony at the flower shop
"Halt! Stand fast, you monster!" the beige stallion commanded to the creature as it turn to them in response. It was hideous to look at, blood covered its hideous coat as it somehow give a subtle smile at them. Flash almost lost his composure just by looking at it, but he had to stay focused. He had to stick to his training. He had to prove himself
"Oh look - the cavalry finally came. Seems I’m about to get knee-deep in the dead here" the monster spoke in a chilling voice. Flash can feel the creature's bloodlust as its grin impales him while blood caked all over its body, he instantly felt cold all over and his hooves involuntarily twitched. This creature made him fear for his life.
Three of the horses charged straight to him as he cock another... pfft... bullet to his shotgun and fire at the one in the middle with a headshot, immediately killing it. Blood from the awesome kill splattered at the two other horses but were unfazed by it all, not even delaying their tracks as they continue their charge at Deadpool. With literally killer instincts, he anticipated their charge and parried the impending blow of the armored horse on his right - grabbing hold of its neck in mid-dodge and mounted on its back - almost all in slow motion even.
"It's on me! The monster is on me!" Flash tried his best to shake the monster off his back, only his training made him resist the urge to run away from this monster as soon as it killed the white stallion whose name he didn't even remember. He hasn't even lasted a month in service but now he had to experience all this. Half panicking he shook his back while the monster tightly clutched his neck, its weapon between its claws he roared fearing more for his life than the mission at hand.
Expertly cocking his shotgun... my god, why do they call it cocking?... while keeping his momentum on the raging stallion, he pointed the gun gripping it with only his right hand and fired at the other confused stallion straight to the head. The recoil of the blast almost made him lose his handle on the trashing mount, somehow unfazed by the death of its buddies. These things were ready to die. He leaped from his ride to avoid the risk of his grenade bottles detonating, somersaulting away from the rodeo-trained stallion.
Flash Sentry felt that the monster finally let go, but he felt too hazy to notice where. Sweat streaming under his coat, his heart pounding madly he darted his eyes wildly at every direction. His bearing lost, his body cold, an uneasy twitching present in his body all made it a lot less easy to the new recruit. He didn't signed up for this sort of danger, or at least he didn't think he did. He definitely never anticipated he would be swept to a carnage like this. Seeing all the dead bodies of everypony in that street alone is enough to take its toll on anypony
The monster was nowhere in sight. Did it disappear? How... what is going on? Turning around again, he saw no presence of the monster except for the mindless slaughter it left in its wake, surrounding the royal guard. Several ponies killed in the middle of the street, the bloody mare from the flower shop earlier littering the sidewalk. A dismembered hoof lay nearby the burning cafe, a mass number of dead evidently inside it. How could the monster do so much damage in such a short time? As he ponders on his last thought, he instinctively turned back to the castle to report back on his commanding officer as a blue bottle lunge at him in mid-air...
Exploding on contact, the bottle hit the stallion around the face, splitting away chunks of flesh and blood. An eye from its head sling-shot from its socket as it fall unresponsive to the ground, its blue mane singed and its helmet somehow still intact.
"Would you look at that... You know, I’m sure somewhere out there, Michael Bay is having an erection... or maybe James Wan."
"Fire!"
Deadpool turned to the direction of the voice to see several unicorns on the roof of a building nearby firing some sort of magic spells at him. They almost look like some sort of plasma... laser beams or whatever, but sure feel like it when one hit him at his right shoulder. He raced away from the barrage of beams, narrowly avoiding the laser spells
"He's somehow resistant to destructive magic! Keep firing!" he heard one of the stallions shout to the other, which must be their commanding officer or something.
"Fucking Cacodemons!" still in evasive action, Deadpool turned and faced his attackers as he return fire with his shotgun
"Die Cacodemons! DIE!!"
The shots seem to be hitting the stallions but not to a fatal effect. his scatter shot doesn't work well in long distances. Enduring the blows from the unicorns' magic hitting him everywhere on his upper body, he sidestepped to another direction as he throw another grenade at their direction exploding nearly a short distance from their footing, crumbling the building and sending them down to the ground below. For good measure, he threw several grenades at them making sure they're all brutally dead.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WOULDN'T it be NICE, if WE were OLDER - THEN we wouldn't HAVE to wait so LOOOOONG!!♪♪"
Deadpool seemed to have thrown a third grenade as he laugh maniacally while several incinerated equine body parts and internal organs scatter from the explosions.
"AHAHAHA!! The happy times currently I've been spending. 'Wish that every kill was NEEEEEEVER ENNDIIIIING!♪♪ HA!"
Deadpool almost didn't feel his body regenerate from the laser blasts as he laughs with child-like glee while enjoying the senseless slaughter. Like a sadistic youth with his handy magnifying glass, needlessly setting fire to an innocent enough colony of ants.
Holy shit. What is with all the similes he's been making lately? With all the comparisons he made since landing in this universe he probably have enough to fill half a season of Family Guy. Deadpool calmed down after dispatching the unibeam, seeing as that the place seem to have a fairly moderate defense he felt that he should take this time to gear himself up before continuing the slaughter
Okay. Inventory check. Only three grenades left. And around three-fourths of his shotgun ammo left. Part of him feels like packing up and go home since this is enough of a test run of his new equipment but another part of him feels like fucking up more shit and have more fun.
"Well I still have to test the big gun. Don't want to forget this baby" he gave a pat to the large weapon strapped around his back "After all, ironically this is the easiest one to assemble back at the tree house. I still can't believe how many dangerous chemicals a voodoo can have! AND a substitute for gunpowder, even!"
{{You've had your fun now. Now we need to get out of here before the elements come}}
"Always with the element talk with you, can we not worry about the elements for.. at least a while?"
{{No. We CAN'T}}
"Pfft. The elements won't come yet! Stop sounding like my mother for a while and enjoy the mindless killing, will ya?" he loaded his makeshift shotgun with more of his diminishing ammo and continued walking through the streets
{{Listen Deadpool. You are attracting a HELL lot of FUCKING attention}}
"Stealth was never my forte"
{{IF the elements come here, we're under-prepared for that encounter. You don't have your swords, your guns--}}
"In case you've been sleeping for the last few hours, I made several grenades, a working DIY SHOTGUN, and this big fucking gun."
"First off. I need a weapon"
Deadpool stood hands on his waist at the entrance of the voodoo tree house he got the map from earlier deep within the recesses of the forest where he met the zebra. He knew as soon as he first visited this place that there are tons of voodoo stuffs here that will definitely be useful for making non-voodoo stuffs too. maybe. probably.
{{What made you think you'll find a good weapon here? Don't tell me you're going to kill everything with a spear}}
"Not a bad suggestion. But no. We're not looking for a weapon, we're going to make one here!" he raised his hands to the air, his victory shout faded to the dark empty room seemingly untouched even after the death of its owner
{{...What?}}
"Really? if you're in my head, how come you can't even anticipate what I’m thinking?"
{{Your big fucking gun won't do us squat if the all the elements show up RIGHT NOW!}}
"Would you fucking relax? They're all very busy crying their hearts out at the funeral now, and didn't Pinkie tell us the princesses are right there with them? It's not like news will reach them that fast" Deadpool looked over at the distance to see several flying armored horses rushing from the city to... somewhere "Oh crap. I didn't know some of the horses fly"
{{Great. Those guards are definitely going to send news to the elements about this massacre. Good job, genius. WELL DONE}}
"Hey hey hey! Don't forget the big fucking gun!" He started to unlatch the big fucking gun from his back but a distant sound of something twinkling in the sky somewhere caught his attention
"What the fuck?" he stopped to listen to the seemingly out of place tune of some fairy sparkling sound effect somewhere near and approaching, turning to several directions he finally caught sight of the supposed allegory for homosexuality. A large serpent like creature was... gliding or twitching in the air or whatever as it approaches our hero, an eyebrow raised at whatever the fuck this thing is
The large serpent like creature landed with a loud thud in front of Deadpool, the creature looks a lot like a large Chinese dragon around maybe 9 to 11 feet tall... or maybe a Chinese knock-off of a 'Chinese Dragon 'around maybe 9 to 11 feet tall. This thing looks like it born form the mind of a Greek mythologist. on crack. Its head was a goat with an antler and a horn, a claw of a chicken and a lion, a leg of a bull and a... dinosaur? and a tail of... well, a dragon. Pretty sure an imprint of 'made in china' is around it somewhere, Deadpool just can't see it from where he's standing
"Well now. Of all my years on this plane of existence I've never seen a hideous creature like you before" The Chinese take-out dragon kind of spat an inquisitive tone at him, it's yellowish sick eyes narrowed with his brows
"Look who's talking. What the fuck are you?"
"I.. the 'fuck' am Discord" it drew its lion claw to its chest, introducing itself "the spirit of Chaos, and Disharmony. And you" it then pointed its claw at him "are stealing my thunder" its claw reached to Deadpool and pulled a static lightning shaped... cartoon effect from somewhere in Deadpool like that coin magic trick magicians always do "I'll have that back now, thank you"
"...Okay. I-"
"Is what I would say normally. But I’m a reformed draconequus now and I keep the chaos to a down low these days, especially since my friends got nearly murdered"
The pirated dragon encircled Deadpool, and slithered in front of him "I'm not one to judge, but you seem awfully familiar"
Glad to see the ponyslaughter didn't tip him off "I don't remember meeting a Class C Chinese dragon like you before. But given the cast of characters I've stumbled into so far, I don't think anything's going to surprise me"
"Speaking of surprise - I was taking a good morning's sleep at my quarters when all of a sudden, somepony reported to the guards a mass killing in progress at the financial district. Nopony's ever killed anyone in generations even during my rule let alone here in the capital of Equestria"
The capital of...? Oh Pinkie, you bitch
"I was woken up because the guards couldn't handle it. So imagine my surprise when I got here to see a creature that somehow resemble my friends' description of the supposed monster that almost killed some ponies in the last few days. A tall zombie-pony like creature wearing red... the murderer was never caught BUT it left behind a lot of ripped red cloth behind"
"My condolence to your friends. Really, I should have tried to kill them harder"
"You heartless fiend" the dragon stood tall in front of him, the tone of its voice descended "of course, you were the cause of all this killing in the city too I suppose? Does a monster like you have a name or something?"
"Sure. I... the fuck am Deadpool" he aimed and cocked his shotgun at the creature "The spirit of BAD-ASS, and DISMEMBERMENT!" Hehe. Cocked.
He pulls the trigger, excited to empty his pump action shotgun at the beast as he was accompanied with the sound of squeaking rubber.
He pulls it the trigger again only to hear the sound of something like a squeaky toy
"What the hell?" Deadpool looked down at his shotgun only to see a balloon shaped pony in its place "WHAT THE HELL?"
"I knew that was important. Maybe that thing was magic perhaps?"
Deadpool looked up at the dragon giving him a smug, the kind that douchebags wear on their face all the time "You bastard! That thing was more than magic to me! Do you even know how hard it is to make a shotgun?!"
"Hmm... this black powder thing seems to be a good substitute for gunpowder" he held up a large bottle filled to the brim with powder stacked inside a cupboard "It's going to be a bit complicated making the mechanics, but I think I actually have all the parts in this tree house!"
{{... How... are you going to make a shotgun out of... that and wood?}}
"Hey - To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. And I have a good imagination, my right hand would vouch for me if it could"
"... What the fuck did you do to my shotgun?!"
"Isn't it obvious?" the dragon pointed its claw to the balloon pony at his hand "I turned it into that! I'm the spirit of Chaos you fool... with just a snap and a zap --"
The creature snapped its... claw fingers?... as a steel cage magically appear, imprisoning Deadpool "Any other chaos wouldn't last.."
"... Ohhh shit" Well, he's in trouble now. Deadpool held the bars. Yup, genuine steel cage "Hey, are you like that rhyming zebra I killed earlier? Because hearing you rhyme would be fun"
"Oh shut up" using his magic, Discord lifted the cage up with the monster's claws still clutched to the bars "I'm keeping you locked up until the princesses arrive. I'll let them figure out how to deal with an inconvenience like you"
"Ha! Trust me, you don't want to keep me alive" the monster retorts back with a dark tone, it angered Discord even more
"Oh, I DON'T want to keep you alive! I maybe the spirit of Chaos, but I never did anything like what YOU are doing. You think this mindless killing is fun?"
"Of course I do. I expect the... Spirit of Chaos, and Disharmony would understand!"
"I'll tell you what's fun --" Discord directed a full scowl at the hooligan "FUN, is making things out of proportion without regret. The kind of Chaos that gives rabbits hideously long legs, cotton candy clouds rain chocolate, and maybe even hypnotizing everypony"
"You mean taking crack?"
"Having the ponies killed - or outright killing them is out of the equation! There's value in life, it's what messing them up even more fun! Take that away, nobody haves fun"
"I beg to disagree"
"Oh?" Discord leaned his head forward to the cage suspended in mid-air by his magic "do you now?"
"Yeah. Take this for example--"
Immediately the monster inside threw something at him. With little time to react, the thrown object detonated at him with such a strange magic burning his face off. "AAAAAAAHHH!!!" He screamed as he feels his face tear itself apart from the blast, shifting his attention he lost his focus on his magic leaving the cage plummeting to the ground.
The pain made him shake his head side by side, hoping the dreaded sensation would subside. After what seemed like enough time, Discord tried his best to ignore the pain as he check on his prisoner. The cage lay on its side at the ground nearby, with the bars seemingly... melted. The monster must have escaped while he was in pain!
"You see?" Discord turned to the voice behind him. The monster stood in a defiant way, its face occupied with an evil grin "Now THAT... was fun"
Discord underestimated this monster. Without a second thought he decided to fly away from the monster, he knew he was unprepared and this monster was unpredictable.
"Oh... forgive me, Celestia" raising his disproportionate wings, he took to the sky fearing for his life. His face still searing, his dignity tarnished, he flew as fast as he could to the castle hoping that he would find a way to stop the monster and that the princesses would arrive soon to help even when he knew he has more power than the princesses.
... But does he?... or the very least, surely he can take on this creature?
... Right?
"Hey-HEY-HEEEYY! COME BACK!" Deadpool wanted to stop the dragon but he was too late. The dragon flew too fast for him to even continue "Aw maaan..."
He looked at the balloon pony-that used to be his DIY shotgun, dumped at the ground "Aww maaan... my hard work.."
He picked up the balloon, his brows met as he glaze over his former love. He heaved a sigh as he fail to let go of the frustration of seeing his work all for naught
"Shit... FUCK THAT DRAGON ASSHOLE!.... hold on, that didn't sound right... -- Oh well, now I have to chase it"
{{Chase? No. You're not chasing it down}}
"Yes I am"
{{NO. YOU'RE NOT}}
"Hey! I waited for more than a month for this chapter alright? I'm doing whatever I want!"
{{What could you possibly do? Your shotgun is gone, the Elements are coming - I'm FUCKING getting tired of you not listening to me!!}}
Deadpool suddenly remembered how soul-imposing his evil voice sounds. He either got used to it, or this time the evil voice is really pissed off
{{WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT DOING WHAT I SAY?! ARE YOU STILL EVEN DOING OUR MISSION?!?!}}
"Heyyyy... o-of course I am!" Deadpool shook his hands at no one, as if the voice would calm down at that
{{Then WHY?!}}
"He-Heyy!... dude, the point of this whole massacre was to let off some steam!... relax, bro!"
Deadpool, not sure if he calmed down his pissed of consciousness looked over at the castle nearby and saw a silhouette of what must be the dragon earlier fly towards it "Look, I’ll do you a favor - we'll kill that dragon just for you, what do you say?"
{{Do me a favor and FUCKING GO ACCORDING TO PLAN!}}
"This IS according to plan!... Don't you get it? We're not just killing every animal here..."
He unlatched the big weapon on his back again and copped a feel... whoa, that didn't sound right either.
"We're shooting through and introducing ourselves, knee-deep in their dead"
{{So, you're breaking their morale huh?}}
"Of course"
Deadpool finally caught the scent of fresh blood, dead animal bodies, and the very faint sound of screaming ponies everywhere. With the big weapon on his hands, he started on his way to the castle.
{{I take it back. You actually know what you're doing}}
Oh you bet.