//------------------------------// // Chapter 8: The Last Straw // Story: Becoming a Monster // by Telgin //------------------------------// The next two days were almost unbearably tense. I didn't talk to Revelry at all during that period, and only said a few words to Zeal. That wasn't so unusual, I suppose, but under the circumstances it only served to reinforce the terribly empty and lonely feeling my life had gained. None of us were talking to each other. It was as if we had all lost purpose, like the one thing holding us together had been torn away and cast aside. In a way, I guess it had. The saying goes, 'You don't know what you have until it's gone,' but I never realized just how true that was until then. Losing our old cave and all of our possessions, and yes, even losing my eggs, didn't compare to the shock and continued gnawing sense of loss that lingered in my chest every time I thought about Antic. I could look up at the tunnel and remember that his chamber was just out of sight, where Revelry and I had prepared the shoddy bedding that he might have used twice. It was still almost undisturbed, with only a slight depression in the center that I couldn't help but picture my brother sleeping in. I made it a point to not walk by any more than I had to, but I could never resist the urge to look inside. It was so bare... never really used... and it never would be... I clenched my eyes shut, adjusted myself next to my eggs and turned the page in the book in my hands. With little else to do, I'd resorted to my tried and true pastime: practicing my spells. In this case though, I was trying yet again to discern what the new book that Antic gave to me contained. It had initially been very difficult to pick it back up, since it reminded me all too well one of the biggest reasons that Antic was dead, but curiosity and a strong desire to not make his death even more meaningless meant I eventually cracked its cover to pore over it again. Almost immediately I found myself frustrated by its complexity, and when my thoughts drifted back to Antic yet again and how he could read it so easily, I nearly threw it into the magical spring behind me in a fit of rage. Instead I just slammed it down into the stony floor with a resounding thump and blast of dust. It just wasn't fair! None of this was right! We hadn't ever hurt a pony except in self defense, and this is what happened to us! We went out of our way to avoid them, and they still killed us! For nothing! I clenched my eyes shut and fought off another shudder. Not again. I wasn't going to cry again. There were already too many little dimpled and rippled spots on the pages inside of the book for me to add any more. Crying wasn't going to bring Antic back, and it didn't make me feel better for long. I had to do something to get my mind off it... and that only left reading the spell book. After two days of reading and rereading the few spells I thought I had a chance of understanding, there was one in particular that I had made a little headway with. Most of the pages of flowery dialog had an odd and unsettling fascination with death and dying, if I was reading it right, but this spell was something about life. New life? Extra life? Not dying? Without Antic I really was struggling to understand it, but that sounded like a good spell to start with. Predictably, it turned out to be perhaps the longest one in the entire book, so it was going to take me a week to decipher the symbols for the spell. At least. My hands left a curious green glow as I went through the motions of the beginning of the spell. Funny, very few spells had that color for some reason. I brushed it off and ran a claw under the next line of symbols, trying to channel the mana as it directed. The spell started off simple, but its complexity grew steadily with each line, to the point I began to question if I might even be capable of understanding it. Determined to not let it beat me like those simple food spells, I went through the next motions. The green glow coalesced around my hand, and I stared in wonder at the flowing energy. It felt... strange. Not really alarming, just strange. This was definitely magic I'd never worked with before. I had to learn more... Hooves scuffed against stone in the tunnel, and the spell wavered and imploded with a gust of wind and pop as my concentration faltered. Revelry stood in the mouth of the tunnel, looking around with a pained and profoundly confused look on her face. Her eyes drifted up to the ceiling. “Whu-where's the exit?” “Uh, the other chamber?” I said. She must have still been drunk... Revelry danced back and flattened herself against the tunnel wall. “C-Cantrip! When-where did you come from?” She shuffled away, then froze, raised a hand to her forehead and groaned. “I-I was just looking... looking for...” She blinked and rubbed her head again. “...for... uh...” I don't know if I startled her, or if she really just that unhappy or scared to see me. Either way, it didn't matter. “Wait, Revelry, don't go. We need to talk.” I eased up, taking care not to jostle my eggs out of the nest, and set my book aside. She moaned softly and shook her head. “No, no, I, um... it's okay.” “It's not okay... please, come in,” I told her. She just stood there, avoiding my eyes, so I took her hand in mine and nudged her inside. “Please?” She mumbled something that sounded like “leave me alone,” but didn't offer much resistance as I literally pulled her in. “Wh-what do you want?” she slurred. “Just sit down for a second, alright?” She again complied without much protest, so I joined her on the cold floor. First came the all but necessary and very pointless question, “Are you okay?” She looked up through bloodshot eyes to give me a death glare that would have shamed Zeal's worst. Nevertheless, I said, “I'm serious. We need to be honest with each other.” “No. No. I'm... not okay, Cantrip.” She cringed and rubbed her temple again. “Should I be?” I shook my head. “No. Rev... I am really sorry about what I did.” She said nothing. That made the next part even harder to say. “No matter what happened... or what I said... you... you know I still love you, right?” She was silent at first, as the knife twisted around in my chest. Finally, she said, “You've got a funny way of showing it.” The knife cut into my heart again. “I-I know, I'm sorry. Really, really sorry. I... I was just...” I shook my head and looked away from her. “There-there's no excuse. At all. Just...” There was a strong temptation to mention Antic, but in the state of mind she was in I decided against it. Her glazed over golden eyes stared back at me, waiting for me to finish my sentence. “...n-nevermind that. How do you... feel? You, uh, look like you feel really bad.” She pulled her hand away from her head and gave me another questioning glare. “T-terrible. My head... everything hurts...” “Hang on a second.” I hopped up and grabbed a metal cup from next to my nest. It hadn't taken me long to decide what to do with the bit of scrap Zeal returned with the day before, and a flash of magic had turned whatever it was into a set of perfectly serviceable cups. Amazing how you can forget what life is like without such trivial things, but at least we were already rebuilding. I flew up close to the basin of magically charged water and used my magic to fill it up, then back down to hand it to Revelry. “Here, this will help you feel better.” “My head hurts enough,” she said, refusing it. “It's okay, really. This much won't hurt.” I had no idea if she was magically depleted or not, but if she was it would help with that too. More than anything, she was clearly recovering from binge drinking the night before, and drinking water instead of alcohol would help. “Whatever...” She downed the cup and leaned back against the cavern wall with another low groan. “Cantrip?” “What is it?” “Can I go now? I... I feel like I'm going to puke...” “Oh, uh, yeah. Go ahead.” I helped her to her hooves and moved aside as she trudged out. I had no idea if my feeble and awkward attempt to apologize again had helped at all. She didn't say much, but at least it went better than last time. It was going to take more than a couple of days for her to get over all of this. Would she ever completely get over it? Would I? I blew out my breath and eased back down next to my eggs. This wasn't something I was ready to deal with. I needed something else to clear my head, so I grabbed the spell book and went back to the more life spell, or whatever it was, and started going through the motions again. The mood over the following three days improved a little, but mostly because I was no longer afraid that Revelry was going to drink herself to death and was convinced there might be a chance that she might not hate me forever. Small improvements would build up eventually. In the meantime, I found myself on watch duty above ground. Zeal had taken it upon himself to decide who would be doing that and when, and for the foreseeable future it was just the two of us. Revelry was still in bad emotional shape, but worse yet she was pretty sick. After drinking so much and barely eating anything for half a week, that wasn't surprising. She would probably get better soon, but unfortunately, curing diseases was beyond my knowledge of healing magic. For now, it just meant that Zeal and I weren't getting a whole lot of rest when not on watch duty, since she was barely able to get up to get anything for herself. I was quite tired after just two nights of it, but at least Zeal had been kind enough to take the night shifts on watch. I'd have been pretty useless on night watch anyway. With the sun high in the sky I had plenty of light to read and study by, so I was doing just that rather than really keeping watch like I was supposed to. Reading complicated pony words was only the tiniest bit more engaging than staring at unchanging woods around me, but as much as I was yawning and rubbing my eyes I'd take anything I could get. Working magic on the other hand was both a blessing and a curse. I charged my hand with some mana and worked through the third part of the life spell again, feeling my sleepiness fade as I moved. Then the mana evaporated in a silent flash of light again, and the tiredness returned. Which was better? Sleepy or tired? I groaned and stretched out in the grass, really wishing I didn't have to decide. I hated both equally, and just wanted to go to sleep. It was growing increasingly hard to keep my heavy eyes open as they tracked from symbol to symbol. They started to blur and cross over with each other... and darkness encroached from above and below... I bolted up and rolled over. How long had I been out? A few seconds? Minutes? The sun didn't look like it had moved, although upon further inspection I saw that I had evidently been asleep long enough to drool on my spell book. That was annoying. I snorted and wiped the corner of my mouth, then the page, which did absolutely nothing. It would have to dry out the old fashioned way, because I wasn't about to risk incinerating it with a magical attempt to heat it up or something. I held the page up and frowned. The saliva had seeped through a few pages. Maybe if I propped it- A shadow rolled over the clearing, covering me completely for an instant before drifting further down the stream. I huddled under the nearest tree and scanned the cloudless skies for its source. No bird could have been that big, so my mind jumped straight to the worst possibilities. My heart skipped a beat when my eyes picked out the dark shape circling overhead, but something was off. It was too small to be a griffon and was moving all wrong to be either that or a pegasus, which left only a handful of possibilities and of those only one likely one. I dared hope my guess was correct as I stepped further into the clearing and hopped into the air. The closer I got the more my hope surged. It was definitely a draconequus, and the coppery-gold scales could have belonged to only one. “Fealty?” I called out. He jerked to a halt and spun around to face me. “Cantrip? Cantrip!” I barely registered him moving before I was caught up in a tight hug. “Oh, you don't know how happy I am to see you! I've been looking for you for days!” Had I not shown him where our new cave was? Oops. “Why? Where have you been? I was looking for you too.” After I took a moment to give him a look over, alarm rose within me. His scales were grimy and scuffed in a dozen places, his hair was matted and greasy, his eyes were exhausted, and was that a scar on his wing? “What happened!?” “Griffons...” he muttered. “They've been snooping around my cave a lot lately. I got spotted once, so... I've been avoiding it. I knew you lived out here, but not exactly where.” “Oh...” Had it been the same party that got Antic? Couldn't be, that was ponies. Worry knotted up in my gut. Griffons and ponies were out looking for us... Fealty craned his neck and looked around. “Can we, uh, go inside? I don't think we should stay up here.” “Y-yeah, sorry.” We descended and darted into the relative cover of the trees. This far out, I wasn't expecting any griffons, but you never knew about ponies. Either could have followed him of course, so the sooner we got inside the better. The mouth of the cave loomed ahead as we trotted closer, a dark pit partly covered by trees. If Fealty knew it was here and couldn't find it, that gave me a little peace of mind at least. I just wish we had an illusion to cover it like before. “I hate to impose on you all like this, but I don't have any other options right now. I... don't know where I'll move to.” “You can stay here as long as you need to,” I told him. We had space, and I didn't expect Zeal to complain. Maybe Fealty could just move in with us permanently. We could definitely use the help. I wouldn't mind some help with the eggs. Maybe he saw something on my face or heard it in my voice, but he paused at the grassy lip of the cave. “Are the others all here? Everything okay?” “Zeal and Revelry are here. She's pretty sick.” “Maybe I can help?” He cocked his head. “What about Antic? Where is he?” He didn't know. He couldn't have known. Even still, it took me a few seconds to rally. “What's wrong?” “Antic... is dead,” I mumbled. His eyes flew open. “What? How? ...When?” It took me a few moments more to begin, but eventually I managed to explain the big details. The most important thing was that Antic was gone. It might have been selfish or dishonest, but I glossed over my own involvement in the whole affair. Especially my despicable accusatory rant that followed. Fealty didn't need to know about all of that. “Oh, Cantrip... I'm so sorry...” I just nodded and glided down the hole, prompting him to follow. I was trying to not dwell on Antic, as terrible as it was to not want to think about him. Making Fealty feel bad about it wasn't going to bring him back either. Not that this was exactly new for him. He'd told me once he had a brother and no less than five sisters. As far as I knew, none of them were alive any longer. I had never asked him what happened to them, and he never volunteered it. Tragedy was just our lot in life, I guess. We just had to suck it up and get used to it. Zeal was pretty surprised when I trudged back into the rear chamber, no doubt worried that I'd seen something when on watch. When he saw Fealty, he got his answer. He whispered something to Revelry, who was lying in a listless heap atop a pile of relocated leaves, and trotted up to us. “Fealty? It's good to see you're alright. Cantrip thought something had happened to you.” “It nearly did,” Fealty replied, nervously scratching the side of his neck. “I, uh, hate to ask this of you, uh, three, but Cantrip said I could stay with you for a while...” He descended into a more vivid description of his brush with death at the talons of a griffon who lost him in a ravine, culminating with how he had been afraid to return home for fear that they would be waiting on him. A passing mention of pony caravans with griffon guards led to him saying, “Cantrip told me something happened to Antic. I'm so sorry...” Zeal's face hardened and he snorted. “It's true. Ponies killed him before we even got there. Probably the same griffon guards that chased you off.” Fealty lowered his head. “Probably.” A long, awkward silence fell before he looked back up. “Cantrip mentioned that Revelry was sick too. I might be able to help.” “If you can...” Zeal said, sounding tired, and if I was reading him right, even a bit worried. That made me worried. He waved for us to follow and led us back over to her. “Her fever has gotten worse today.” Sure enough, she was shivering as much as her weak body would allow, despite the field of magical warmth I had erected around her before I went up on duty that morning. “Let me take a look.” Fealty knelt next to her and placed a grimy hand on her shoulder, eliciting a small noise from her. She just kept her eyes shut and moaned softly amidst more shivers as a thin film of white magic enshrouded her. Fealty shut his eyes and nodded along to a rhythm I couldn't hear of feel. At length the magic evaporated, and Fealty frowned grimly. I crouched next to her and looked her over more closely. A small bead of sweat dripped from her forehead to join the growing growing dampness beneath her. She let out another tiny groan. “Bad?” I whispered. Fealty nodded. Zeal swore and raked his claws against the stony walls. “What can we do? Anything?” “I-I don't know,” Fealty said, standing. “I was hoping... but I... I don't know a spell to fix this. There's a book at my cave. I... I think it would have the spell we need. But...” He didn't need to say anything else. My heart sank at the thought. We could risk trying to fly under the griffons' beaks to get it, or risk Revelry slowly dying right in front of us. Zeal swore again, stamped a hoof, then ran both sets of claws down the wall. The high pitched scratching would normally have set the hairs on my tail on end, but I was too distracted by Revelry's whimpers to pay it any attention. “...she will probably get better on her own,” Fealty said. “I... I can't guarantee it, but she's not that bad off.” Another heavy silence fell before Zeal ground his hoof into the gritty stone floor. “We have no choice. I'm not leaving her to go look for it.” “I'll go.” Both Fealty and Zeal gave me questioning glances. “I mean it. I know the way, and I know which book you're talking about. I'll go get it.” “Too dangerous,” Zeal growled. Fealty nodded. I took a step toward the exit. “I don't care. I'm tired of this. I won't let the ponies claim another one of us. I'm not going to let something happen to her just because I'm afraid of the ponies and griffons.” “Cantrip, wait.” Fealty rested a hand on my shoulder and said, “She's going to be okay through tomorrow, I promise. Why don't we wait until then and see if she improves?” A little nagging sensation in my gut told me to tell him to be quiet and come with me or stay behind, but the logical side of my brain told me he was right. Rushing off on this intensely dangerous and probably unneeded errand might only serve to get us killed. I deflated. “Okay. Maybe... she'll be better tomorrow.” I didn't really believe it, but the naïve little draconequus in me did. I could still hope. Zeal grunted his affirmation. “Good, just wait. I'll keep an eye on her.” He sighed and lowered himself to the floor before placing his hand on Revelry's. He whispered something to her too quiet for me to make out. “Are you going back outside to watch?” Fealty asked me. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.” That was all there was to do. Just go back outside and sit around while Revelry suffered. There wasn't anything we could- My thoughts were interrupted when five white and lightly speckled things in a nest caught my eye. “Oh, wait. There's something I want to show you.” “What? Oh...” Fealty trotted up to the nest faster than I could keep up and spun around to face me. “Cantrip, are these y... ours?” A small surge of warmth returned to me, mixed in with a tiny bit of pride if I'm honest. “About a week old.” He pulled me into another hug. “This is fantastic! I-I had no idea.” He patted my back and we exchanged nuzzles. “Maybe I can help out some this time?” “You can count on it.” I have to admit, despite Revelry being in bad shape, I was feeling a lot better with Fealty there. He was smart and good with magic too. We'd see to it that Revelry got better, he'd make sure of it. He could help keep watch too. And... if any ponies or griffons did find us... he'd be able to help get us and our eggs to safety. Yes, I was feeling much better. Despite the hopes of that naïve little draconequus inside of me, Revelry hadn't really improved at all by morning. She wasn't any worse at least, but my best attempts to get her to drink something throughout the night hadn't met with any success. She was barely lucid and refused anything offered to her. If she felt half as bad as she looked, I didn't doubt why. I was growing very worried about her, but Fealty's revelation that what she was ill with could be contagious made that much worse. So much for it just being because she stayed drunk too long. Regardless of the cause, that left us with only one option. Unless she was almost completely better that morning I was going to insist we got the spell book anyway, but now we pretty much had to. I meant what I said the night before. I wasn't going to let the ponies or griffons kill my sister indirectly by preventing us from getting her the help she needed. Not after what they'd done to Antic. Not after what what I'd done to her. Not ever. So, early the next morning, Fealty and I arose and readied ourselves for the trip. Zeal was on watch duty over night, which left me to watch over Revelry while Fealty recovered from days in the elements. I wasn't in the best shape or mood from the lack of sleep, but determination counts for a lot sometimes. Zeal met us at the mouth of the cave, where he appeared to be fighting a losing battle with sleepiness himself. “Be careful. Both of you.” His eyes lingered a little longer on Fealty. “I wish I could come with you.” “We'll be careful, I promise,” I told him. He seriously didn't need to remind me of the dangers. Fealty nodded. “Stay with Revelry, we'll be fine. Actually, maybe I should be the one staying? In case she gets worse?” Zeal shook his head. “I would only slow Cantrip down right now, and you know the book. Just make it as quick as you can.” We both gave him a final goodbye and promise to be back soon and in one piece, then took off for Fealty's cave. It was several hours away, especially in my tired state, and on top of it we had to fly as low as we could to reduce the risk of being spotted by anything. Trying to make haste under those conditions was about like asking me to conjure bread from stone. Not going to happen. Nevertheless, we tried our best, and aside from the odd scare or two from birds flying overhead, we made at least tolerable time. The sun wasn't quite at its height when we reached the canyon, and from there it would only be a quarter hour or so to his cave. For the final approach, we opted to avoid flying through the canyon itself and stayed close to the cliff on the left side. There wasn't anywhere for a griffon to get the drop on us from above that way, and if they were watching the canyon we'd be able to get away if they spotted us at all. The jitters in my stomach were beginning to settle a little as we touched down on the ledge that connected to his cave. The entrance was visible just a trot away, partly obscured by moss and leafy vines. The weird nick on the side was still just like we left it. Nothing was out of place, and no griffons were around. “I guess the griffons didn't figure out where the cave was after all,” Fealty whispered to me. We were edging our way along the wall of the cliff, trying to present as small a target as possible and using our scale colors as natural camouflage. Fealty's scales blended in a lot better than mine against the reddish stone, but if we were relying on that we were in deep trouble anyway. “Good.” There wasn't much else to say, and I wanted to make as little noise as possible. Fealty stopped suddenly, eliciting a fluttering of nerves in my stomach. “Did you hear something?” He glanced up and around, then shrugged. “Nothing. Anyway, since we're here and should have time, I'd like to grab a few more of my spell books. No reason to leave them to the griffons.” “Good idea. I can carry a few at least,” I replied, shooing him on. He turned and started back on the path. “It just kills me that we can't get it all, but even with Zeal and Revelry we'd have to ma-” His voice cut out with a choked gasp and he jerked and twisted halfway around. Both hands came up to clutch at something protruding from his chest. Feathered. An arrow. His face contorted to stunned shock as he coughed and swallowed. Blood came up to stain his lips. I screamed. In my panic I glanced up and saw our mistake. Three griffons burst through a layer of clouds with bows drawn taut. The crisp snap of their strings slapped into my ears an instant before the whistle of arrows tearing through the air. I screamed again when one struck me in the forearm and penetrated completely through halfway up the shaft. The pain was immediate and unbelievable, and my legs gave out to send me spilling into Fealty. I heard him grunt, then saw him topple over the cliff. “Fealty!” Another arrow bounced from the stone next to my head and I flipped over onto my back. The arrow stuck in my arm twisted and scraped along the wound, but I was so wound up I barely felt it. I did feel the arrow that bit into my left wing only to bounce free from the stone beneath it. I shrieked and scrabbled over the edge, spreading my wings once free and flapping for all I was worth to get to Fealty and safety. Anywhere but up on the cliff! My heart sank to all new depths when I landed beside him. He was lying motionless in the heap he'd landed in... blood ran from the wound around the snapped arrow shaft jutting from his chest and collected in his nostrils and corners of his mouth... but he was alive! He was still breathing! Without even thinking about it, I shot a hateful glare at the half-bird monsters circling overhead. Not this time! They were not going to hurt us anymore! I stood upright, raised my good hand into the air and channeled a burst of mana. A deep red field of hard magic surrounded us, just in time to shatter two more arrows and turn a third glancing hit aside. “Watch it, they have magic!” a deep voiced griffon shouted above. “Fan out!” a female replied as she nocked another arrow. Fan out all you want, you picked the wrong draconequuses to mess with! I chose the closest griffon, a big male with buttery yellow feathers and gaudy orange patches on his cheeks, and concentrated as much mana into my finger tip as I could muster. Then I charged more. The shield flickered for an instant for a bolt of hard light to stab out at him, again and again. The first shot blasted a few feathers on his wing free and the second scoured the armor on his side, but the others missed. Fine. Fine! Give me a few more moments to ready myself. I charged my finger again... Something big crashed into the shield to my side, and I whipped my head around to see a light green feathered griffon readying another javelin. White hot energy boiled the air as another shot speared her straight on, vaporizing the bronze of her armor and dropping her with a shrill scream. A grin crawled onto my face. The ones I didn't kill had best run or fly while they still could, because I wasn't going to stop until they were all dead! I was an absolute idiot. With only a scant few hours of sleep and almost no practice with those spells in perhaps years, I don't know what I was expecting. Already I was feeling winded, but I clung to the hope that I could hold off long enough to scare them away. I was an idiot. Another javelin from the green griffon, who was already back up on her feet, collided with my shield. The magic buckled... and vanished. I fired another shot at the griffons above, missing completely, and spun to face the one tossing javelins at me. I glared harder and shouted, “Leave us al-” My empty threat was interrupted when an arrow ripped through my cheek, slashed my tongue and exited through the other cheek. The wavering confidence I held was crushed as pain shot through my entire body, and I stumbled backward while holding my snout in my hands. I tasted blood. Lots of blood. “I have you now!” the yellow griffon I shot earlier shouted, drawing his bow back again. The others with him all did the same. I was going to die. We were going to die. I'm not proud of many things that I've done in my life, but when you're in extreme pain, tired and facing down four griffons bent on your death, it's hard to think rationally or be brave. I panicked. Just like the scared little girl I was, I panicked. Just like I always did when faced with danger, I panicked. There were a dozen smarter things I could have done, but I fired off the first spell I could think of, and the world flashed to impenetrable darkness. “It... it vanished!” “Watch yourselves, some of them can do that. They have powerful magic.” “It is probably still nearby, be careful!” Panic doesn't begin to describe what I was feeling. Four monsters were bearing down on me and I couldn't see anything. And so, I did the only thing my terror gripped mind could think of: I ran. Right into the stoney cliff side. The air was knocked from my lungs and I fell backward to land on my back. The arrow in my arm twisted again, but through heroic effort I contained the scream. I could hear the griffons land and start poking around. “Where did it go? It could not have gone far.” “Do not be so sure, they are crafty and very powerful. Keep vigilant.” “I have seen one teleport, like the ponies can.” My heart hammered in my chest so hard I feared they could hear it. Each beat pushed more blood into my mouth, which I gave up swallowing in lieu of letting it just run from the hole in my cheek. The spell would disguise it too. Please... A weak groan sounded out, followed by the rustling of grasses. Fealty... oh no... “Hey, is that one still alive?” Scrunch. Snap. “No.” My heart stopped. They... they couldn't... A female chuckled. “The lieutenant will not believe this. Alexie killed the creature.” Something stepped over me. “Come, let us take it back to town as proof.” They bantered and joked. I could hear them dragging Fealty's corpse up from the ground, and they were joking. I laid there, terrified to move for fear of being their next victim, and waited for the spell to end when my strength gave out. I don't know how long it took. At that point, lost in the blackness that gripped me, I couldn't tell. It couldn't have been long. Less than a minute. A minute that no matter how long I live... or what happens to me... I will never... ever forget.... At length the blackness withered and faded, letting colors drip in like rain drops that ran down my vision and restored my sight. Clear blue skies framed by the canyon walls came into view. No griffons. No clouds. They were gone. I laid there for some time, staring up into the sky and trying to come down off of the adrenaline surge borne of mortal terror. Minutes passed as I whimpered and fought to catch my breath, daring not to sit up or move in case the griffons were playing some demented game with me. I waited... and waited... but soon I could wait no longer. The more my nerves settled, the more the pain returned. Throbbing, terribly aching pain returned to my arm and tongue. I was bleeding badly, and if I didn't do something soon I'd probably lose consciousness. Already I was feeling light headed, but whether that was from my wounds or pure unmitigated shock I had no idea. Pushing myself up with my good arm brought on an astounding number of involuntary shifts of my injured limb, and by the time I finally got up I had to just let my mouth hang open to let my tongue hang out, lest the cut brush against another tooth. Everything hurt so much, but fear and desperation drove me on to examine the arrow that had speared my arm. There was only one way I could treat it, and I was so exhausted I doubted I could pull it off. If I blacked out, I would die. If I didn't do anything, I would die. Tough choice. I focused all of my will and strength at the spot where it penetrated, and ran my free hand through the motions of the spell. Unbelievably, I found the energy, and with a faint double pop and crackle of air being shoved out of the way, the arrow teleported out of the wound and landed with a faint clatter. Fresh blood oozed from the hole, dripping in thick globs. I didn't have much time... Again, I took a deep breath and clenched my eyes shut, tensing every muscle to scrounge for every last ounce of magic I could. Golden light illuminated the wound, and slowly but surely the gaping hole knitted closed before my eyes. One last wound... My breath left me briefly and I spat out another gob of bloody spittle. This one probably wouldn't kill me, but it hurt almost as bad, and let me tell you, trying to not move your tongue is a lot harder than it sounds. I hyperventilated to regain some semblance of control and lucidity, and channeled the healing magic to my mouth. The pain faded to a faint tingling... ...and darkness encroached on my vision. When I awoke, I awoke to a world of confusion, aches and exhaustion. Fogginess shrouded every sense as I rolled over and spasmodically coughed out a few specks of clotted blood. I groaned and flexed every joint, feeling an odd stiffness in my right arm and the fingers of that hand. The fuzziness in my head swirled and parted, letting the events of the fight return to me. No... not a fight... murder. I bolted up and scanned my surroundings. Reddish stone towered around me, leading up the cliff to an open sky. The sun had moved westward, but just how much time had passed was a mystery. Where was I again? What was I doing... Fealty... I jumped up and spun to face the last spot I'd seen him, and in a horrifying replay of memory I found nothing but an enormous blood stain on the grassy stone. I looked up and around, desperately searching for the signs of griffons. If they were still around I could get him back! He couldn't be dead! I-I'd get him back and heal him before he died! It... it wasn't... ...it was too late. I fell to my hands and knees in the damp patch, shaking my head in disbelief. But it was true. 'Hey, is that one still alive?' Then a gut wrenching crack of bone. 'No'. He... he was dead before I blacked out. I couldn't protect him from so many griffons. Maybe if it was just one or two... maybe I could have saved him. Or-or if I'd just been smart and teleported us to safety rather than try something stupid by fighting them... I could have saved him, but I didn't. Everything felt numb. It was like time stopped as I stared into the uneven blotches of overlapping blood beneath me. My eyes moved from one to the next, and terrible images of how each must have formed ran through my mind. The large sweeping splash... had they slashed his throat? Or just rammed a spear or sword somewhere else to watch him bleed out? To see how long it took? That's what they did, right? Just killed us for sport!? For some unknowable sadistic and demented hatred for us!? I gathered handfuls of clumpy, grimy dust in my hands and punched the ground with all of my might. If I hadn't been exhausted already I'd probably have broken a knuckle, but as it was I just pounded ineffectively at the last remains of Fealty. His dried blood... that was all that was left... “Are you happy now!?” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I thrust my head back to face the sky and stood on shaky legs. “Are you going to take everyone from me!? Why me!?” I stamped a hoof and snarled something as tears streamed down my cheeks. “Why not me!? Why are you killing everyone else? Come back and face me you cowards!” The world lurched and I fell backward to catch myself against a large rock. I was too tired to be screaming and shouting, but I didn't care! I wanted the griffons to come back and answer for what they'd done! I wouldn't run or hide this time. If they killed me, what did I care? Everything I cared about had been taken from me! My legs gave out, depositing me on my back to stare up at sky again. I tried to rock to my hooves or roll over or do anything, but I had neither the spirit nor strength. So, I just shouted and wailed at the heavens, hoping that a pegasus or griffon would stumble over me and end my miserable existence. Of course, when you want them to be around, they're nowhere to be seen. It was just me. Just me, and the dried final remains of Fealty beneath me. This was when he was supposed to show up and give me a hug, then tell me that everything would be okay. Or, I could just fly to him and tell him how crappy my day had been, and he'd listen and nod along silently as I told him about this or that. Not anymore! He was dead. Dead and gone. Gone to be on with Antic. That's what the ponies believed, right? That the dead went on to some paradise where they never hurt or had to be sad again? Where did draconequuses go? Probably to the same place to be tortured forever to make the ponies happy. Or the griffons. I wailed again and, with strength I didn't know I had, pulled myself to my hooves. Fealty was dead. He was dead, but there was a reason. There had to be. He couldn't have just died pointlessly. I-I had to make sure of it. The spell book was still in his cave, just above. Revelry was depending on us... and now, just me. The griffons probably knew where the cave was. They'd been waiting in ambush. Yet, I could still hope that they didn't bother looting it. They had no use for spell books. Maybe if I was lucky, it would still be there. If I was more lucky, there would be griffons inside to kill me. There were no griffons inside. In fact, it didn't look like they had even set paw or talon inside at all. Nothing had been disturbed. They didn't care about what was in there. They just wanted to kill Fealty or any other draconequus that was nearby. At least that meant I found the spell book, and a dozen others that looked worth saving. If he was still there with me we could have taken all of the books he owned, and probably some of his other belongings, but it was just me. Just weak little Cantrip, who was exhausted and scared out of her mind. I'm still not sure how I managed to fly with the box of books in my grasp. The trip home took forever. As tired as I was, the normally multiple hour trip ended up taking until well past sunset. The entire way home I wept continuously, picturing Fealty's pained and startled final expression, and every mistake I made following it that led to his death. I kept hearing them snap his neck, over and over again. Not seeing it had only made my imagination run wild with it. Was he even aware? Was he scared? Had he been watching me, pleading silently for me to stop being stupid by fighting the griffons instead of just teleporting us to safety? Did he see me flee rather than stay and help him? I took the same path back that we took to the mountains, using as much cover as I could and stopping several times to rest. It didn't matter to me if I lived or died at that point, but if I did die, Revelry might too. Even if I gave up on life, she hadn't. She deserved better. And for that, I tried my best to avoid being seen. I found myself constantly scanning my surroundings, and every little gust of wind sent a shiver down my spine and nearly sent me scurrying for the ground and any cover. It never amounted to anything, of course. The griffons had what they wanted. They weren't looking for me. By the time I made it back to our cave, it was so dark I could barely see anything. Even so, I was familiar enough with the area by then that I was able to pick out the clearing and land heavily amidst a patch of flowers of some sort. My mind began racing as I lugged the box of books along the final stretch to the cave mouth. What was I going to say to Zeal and Revelry? I had no idea. “Cantrip! I was about to come looking for you!” Zeal said from somewhere up ahead. It was too dark for me to even see him among the trees. I said nothing and trudged onward, head held low to conceal my emotions. Tree branches rustled and something big fluttered down to the ground. “What took so long? Is everything...” Zeal trailed off as I looked up. He looked terrible. Beyond exhausted. He probably hadn't slept more than two hours since Revelry got sick. “...is... is that blood?” He raised a hand up to my cheek, but stopped short of touching me. “What happened? ...where is-” “Fealty's dead,” I interrupted in a high voice. He obviously didn't know what to say to that, so I spared him the trouble of asking what happened. “Gr-griffons were waiting on us. They killed him.” His mouth hung open dumbly as his eyes danced over my body. “What? C-Cantrip...” I broke away and stepped toward the cave. “I got the book.” “Th-that's good. Revelry isn't any worse.” He trotted up beside me and asked, “Are you...” Oh, don't even ask if I'm alright. “...hurt?” “Yes.” On more levels than he could imagine. I guess he didn't know what to say to that either. I don't blame him. What do you say or do when your sister comes back, drenched in blood, and tells you that feathered cat monsters killed her lover and father of her eggs? It wasn't his fault. He didn't need to suffer too. It was just the griffons' faults, right? That's what he said when Antic died. I didn't need to hear that again. So, I just silently flew down and made my way to the back room to help Revelry. She didn't need to suffer either. Just me. Just little... old... me.