Discord laughed. He was all powerful, he was god, he was skating down a road made of soap to go and buy groceries for Fluttershy. He sighed, and turned the road back to dirt with a snap of his paw and trudged onwards. At Fluttershy’s insistence (the apparently timid pegasus had a personality made of solid iron, and was surprisingly persuasive when she wanted to be), Discord had been relegated to doing that weeks’ shopping in Ponyville. The bits rested in a bag tied to his waist, and he was also carrying Fluttershy’s saddle bags to place everything in. (Her idea. Discord had just wanted to magic everything up).
As he walked, Discord thought. As he had stated to the fun-killer that was Twilight Sparkle, being trapped in stone didn’t mean he was deaf. Or blind, for that matter, but neither dear old Celestia or Twilight needed to know that. So the embodiement of Chaos and Disharmony was aware of the Elements of Harmony, and the dangers that they had faced. Celestia liked to talk to his statue sometimes, which was why he’d known all of the Elements’ names before his breakout.
The six, he had to admit, were impressive. He’d never admit it to anypony (Discord suppressed a snicker at the word), but they had dealt with three of his children, and that did warrant a tiny sliver of respect. Admittedly, they had also dealt with the three youngest. And he was about as much their father as Celestia was pink, really, but Discord had not earned the title ‘Primus malus’ for nothing. He was the First Evil, the greatest, and all others were created by him, or were offshoots of his experiments with Chaos.
The Nightmare, the being that corrupted Luna, had been the most recent. It was a delightful little creature that warped the mind, played on fears and doubts, twisting the pony it infected until their personality had been completely reversed. Unfortunately, it could also not exist without a host, so Discord had implanted it into Luna just before she and Celestia turned him into stone. (He’d been aiming for Celestia, though).
Sombra, that wonderfully insane stallion who was more smoke than pony, that had been a gift. The one time ruler of the Crystal Empire had asked Discord to make him the greatest ruler the empire had ever seen. In exchange, he had offered Discord the Crystal Heart. Discord had twisted Sombra’s mind until he was an overlord, not a kind and fair ruler, gave the ruler more power than he could be expected to use responsibly and then he’d given the Heart back, because Discord had no use for something material.
And Chrysalis. Dear, wonderful Chrysalis and her changelings. Such a delightfully chaotic race. One of his finer creations, if Discord did say so himself. An entire race of bugs, that fed off of love, that most sickening of states. Blech. Discord couldn’t stand all that mushy stuff, which was probably why he had created the holey ponies to eat all the stuff. Discord could no longer remember why he’d done a lot of things-he was too busy causing chaos.
[Time]
But despite his (slightly) reformed nature, Discord couldn’t wait until the next little adventure of Princess Bookworm and her friends. Because he could feel the rumblings of the fourth of his many, many children awaking. And to quote Pinkie Pie, this was going to be a doozy. Mind, he still wasn’t entirely sure which of his kids was waking up next, but from the ripples in the cosmos, it was definitely a big one.
Discord chuckled to himself, covered the road in soap again, and skated off. Oh yes, this was definitely going to be good. Now, he just had to remember if Fluttershy had wanted tomatoes or pumpkins this week...