Schoolhouse Shenanigans!

by Dragonborne Fox


Chapter XXXIV- Kamikaze

"I can't grow any bigger! I think I am hexed." Erroria answered, now growing a horn and shedding her wings for the zillionth time.

"This is strange...." Natalie nervously chuckled, shifting her larger set of wings slightly.

"Wait. Where's Twilight? Wasn't she just there next to Lance a few seconds ago?" Rainbow asked, her eyes wide. She landed on all fours and trotted to Blake and examined his wings. "As long as they're wings, they generate wingpower." She sighed before turning to her fellow true-blooded, non-magically-enhanced pegasi, "Therefore, do NOT let me hear about any form of prejudice from the necromancer!"

"Yes, Sergeant Rainbow Dash!" Cried the native pegasi.

"Sergeant...? What's a sergeant?" Wing asked, clutching Rainbow's foreleg in such a way Blake was reminded of what Alexis always did when she wanted something--latch on and hang tight.

"It's the second-highest rank in the Wonderbolts, the first being Captain. Until Spitfire retires, I am her right-hoof mare." Rainbow answered with a grin as she used her free hoof to pet the furball hanging onto her.

Katie was still on the floor unconscious. Her mouth hung open and there was a decent-sized puddle of drool growing larger around it.

Lance was on his rump now. Rainbow Dash a Sergeant in the Wonderbolts? Sacrebleu!* He should've recruited her into his army now. Confound it all! No wonder Orion shut up as soon as she threatened to ground him.

Twilight galloped into the room, bringing two more stallions--one a pegasus and the other an alicorn--with her. The alicorn was almost black and his brown mane was spiky. It covered much of his face and blue eyes, as well as a white bandana with a red circle located under his horn. His cutie mark was a white paper fan with the same circle and Japanese characters that literally translated into 'divine wind.' Underneath the fan was the word 'HAX' in vivid crimson. The pegasus had a similar mane, except it was a brilliant crimson with less spikes and his eyes were brown, which contrasted his gold pelt. His cutie mark was a darker gold spear shaped strangely like contorted demon tails with a red sash seemingly blowing in the breeze.

"I...figured....we'd.....need more help...ohmygosh...." Twilight said in between breaths, almost collapsing onto her forelegs horrendously in doing so.

"Lazarus, I feel funny!" Complained the pegasus, fluttering his wings in annoyance.

"Shut it, Lancelot. We're helping." Lazarus replied sternly, his horn pulsating with hax even though he wasn't using magic. Lancelot backed down and sat on his haunches to show respect.

~~~~~~~~~

Lance fluttered his metallic wings like a hummingbird to ensure the bolts were properly secured. Even with Erroria's help (he was thinking of adopting the poor, misfit filly since nopony else would...confounded people and ponies who didn't know what to do with her), he was still paranoid about the ordeal. Was this yet another thing he picked up from mommy? His hooves were planted so firmly into the ground liftoff wasn't guaranteed until he shifted an inch on each individual leg. Simultaneously. Which wasn't an easy thing to do, and it was better that way. How did he...have organic wing stumps still functional in a sense? Another thing from mommy? He knew he was going to grab Aura by the shoulders and shake her--no, she was an old woman. Old women couldn't take it that well unless they were superhuman or something like that.

"I've never seen clunks of metal that shouldn't work flap so fast! Get a life, bro!" Thunderlane called from afar.

Lance snapped his dark glare towards the pegasus and shouted, "Sie denken, Sie haben es schwer! Ich schlage vor, Sie auf meiner Valkyrie Panzer reden!"

"THUNDERLANE!" Rainbow bellowed, causing Lance to jump and accidentally fire himself towards the machine that indicated a pony's wingpower.

"I know that was an accident! But your wingpower nonetheless is 15!" Pinkie Pie beamed with a salute. She failed to notice Lance landed with his backside against a tree because that second shout sent him into a cartwheel. Confound flying, it was awkward for him. He was teleported back to the starting line by Twilight and looked over.

"A few bruises occurred along your spine because the tree didn't like you. You need to shut the loud voices out before something like that happens again."

"Can I have a turn since Nazi-loon has a problem with center-of-attention?" Lazarus asked as he confidently spread his wings.

"Only prerequisite: no hax." Natalie sighed, all four of her wings tensing up.

"I was going to make that proposition. How can I hax flying?" Lazarus beamed as he took Lance's place at the starting line. His body shifted into the pouncing position, his wings still spread wide.

Then, his wings moved in small flaps, followed each time with increases in speed.

Hummingbird speed achieved. All he needed was that signal. That opportune moment. He closed his eyes and focused as the characters on the fan began glowing.

Flying lessons abound. Who's willing to teach me? Lance thought as he observed the phenomenon unfolding before him and everyone else.

Wings aside, Lazarus remained unmoving. If anything, his legs and face seemed petrified. The wings kept beating faster and faster until Rainbow Dash sounded the signal.

In an instant, Lazarus took off creating a maelstrom of dirt whipped by the wind in his feathers. He passed the machine, sliced the tree in two and took it with him, shot up like a rocket to the sky whilst bringing the torrent of winds with and then thrust them back into the earth where they belonged.

"WHOA!" Everyone shouted in amazement.

"H-He has....he has 50 wingpower!" Pinkie cried in glee.

"50 WINGPOWER?!"