The royal guards would be waiting to give us pat-downs to check for weapons. I shuddered to think that anypony would want to hurt Luna, but it was sensible. Nopony in Equestria wanted us to be in this war, and there were those who would resort to drastic measures to end the fighting.
“Not a bad idea,” Quill said quietly. “I’m not exactly thrilled with the service of the royals.”
I was concerned that my superior held any kind of ill against our monarchs, but I knew he would never intentionally cause them physical harm. My theories were confirmed by my wingman’s next comment.
“Neither am I, lieutenant, but just think of the food afterward,” he said softly.
In my excitement about meeting Princess Luna, I had almost forgotten about the reception banquet afterwards. “Dinner with the Princesses,” I said to Famosity. “I like the sound of that…”
“Show, I don’t know why you obsess over ‘her’ so much,” she said, referring of course to the lunar princess. “You should be focused on me.” She tossed her hair and batted her eyelashes at me.
I tapped her back with my hoof. “Sprout some wings and move the moon,” I teased. “Then you’ll be worth my time.”
She remained calm, but I saw her horn light up as she drew a pencil from an inside pocket. She quickly drew a moustache and top hat on me; her magical talent meant that the drawings hung in the air and sat on my head as if they were real. “There,” she said smugly. “All ready for your date with Luna.”
I brushed the drawings away with a hoof, grateful that their graphite composition meant that they were fragile and easy to eliminate. “You get way too much pleasure out of that,” I told her.
She flashed me an enormous smile and bounced up to the reception hall; Snap, Quill, and I trotted after her.
Once we were inside, we were led into four separate curtained stalls, where the royal guard checked us for weapons. I stood silently and waited for the pat-down to be over; my squad mates were less tolerating.
“Hey, watch those hooves!” Fam shouted, two stalls over from me. I heard a hoof smack across somepony’s face, but I couldn’t tell who was doing the slapping and who was getting slapped.
“It’s standard procedure, Fam!” Quill called out from the farthest stall from me.
“That doesn’t mean she can put her hooves wherever she wants.”
I suppressed a laugh, and waited for the guard searching me to finish.
“Either hurry this up, or send the hoovesy mare over here to frisk me,” I heard Snap tell the guard one partition over from me. I rolled my eyes.
I joined the officers on the other side of the stalls; Snap was the last one to exit.
Beside me, Famosity was obviously upset. “Ooh, if she messed up my feather, I’m going to be mad,” she grumbled, flicking her tail to check.
I laughed. “It’s fine, Fam.”
The guards came up and escorted us to the stage where the ceremony was to take place. Through the open doors of the hall, we could see the lingering contrails of the Wonderbolts as they performed for the crowd.
“You’d think they’d have put the best fliers in a unit, not putting on a show,” my wingman said bluntly.
“It’s a morale boost, Snap,” Quill explained. “And it’s just as important as having actual fighters. Besides, they’re too expensive to waste.”
“I guess that’s all we are too, huh?” my cynical wingman hypothesized. “A morale boost in the form of four uniformed idiots.”
Quill nodded understandingly. “Something like that, sergeant. Just accept your commendation with dignity, even if the royals did leave us to die on that Faust-forsaken hill.”
Each of us looked to the other ponies on stage, then at the floor. We’d been left at the old fort to die; seemed contradictory that we’d be commended for surviving. Quill filled out the paperwork for a formal inquiry, but that too had been lost in the shuffle of the bureaucracy. We felt like crap; even my faith in Luna was shakier than it had been. I tried to shake the thought from my head. I had to fight for something; if not my Princess, it would have to be my friends.
“Well,” Famosity said happily, trying to break the silence, “At least we get something shiny out of the deal!”
While not as laugh-inducing as our antics earlier, Fam’s unique perspective cheered us all up. Unfortunately, that good mood was squashed when another contingent of the guard approached us to give us the lecture for the proceedings.
Beside me, my friend fidgeted agitatedly. By the time the guards had made it through their third time, he couldn’t hold his frustration anymore. “You’re lucky you frisked me for weapons earlier, because if I had one, I’d shoot you,” he said angrily.
The guard snorted, clearly annoyed; I couldn’t hold back a grin. Snap’s mouth tended to have a mind of its own. More than once in Basic he’d been disciplined for talking back to his superiors.
“Look, here’s what you do,” the guard explained for the fourth time. “Your name is called, you walk up and get your medal, you salute, and you return to the line. Am I clear, Flyboy?”
“Crystal, rent-a-cop.”
I snickered, and the guard shot me a dirty look before walking off. I flashed him a smile and waved after him as he and the other guards took their places at the door, leaving us on the stage.
I was relaxed; or at least, I would’ve been if I wouldn’t be meeting my idol in about fifteen minutes. The stage was a second home to me, but I could tell Snap and Quill felt a bit uncomfortable being on display for so many ponies. Famosity was off in a world of her own. I guessed she was probably thinking of her crazy Chaotic religion.
Ponies from the parade grounds trickled into the room, and we stood at attention. Snap stiffened a bit beside me as the crowd grew, bristling at having to be the morale boost for the entire REA. I wanted to give him a hug—or anything to make him feel better—but at that moment, a fanfare announced the arrival of the Royals.
Celestia and Luna walked into the reception hall and approached the stage, followed by a few nobles from the court. A flash of color from the back of the procession drew my eye. There, atop the banner of Equestria, sat a phoenix, presumably Celestia’s bird.
“Wow, a phoenix; the royals have some fancy pets,” Snap commented beside me.
“Isn’t she gorgeous?” Fam whispered at the other end of the line from me.
A smile crept on to my face. “Too bad you don’t have one of her feathers for your hair,” I teased.
Famosity flashed a wicked grin; I could see the wheels in her mind turning.
“Oh, you just had to suggest that, didn’t you…” my wingman scolded.
Celestia walked across the stage, signaling the start of the ceremony. Luna joined her sister at her side; I felt my heart flutter a bit.
I was to receive my award last, but I had been counting on that. The officers were called for their commendation first, and then my fellow airman. I started to get nervous right before my name was called; it was now or never.
“Shoford ‘Show Off’ Offington III,” the guard at the end of the stage called.
I took one last deep breath to settle my nerves, and walked calmly across the stage. Celestia beamed and held up my medal, but I paid her no mind; I strolled past her like any other pony on the street. I could feel the tension in the room mount as everypony noticed my “mistake.” I pushed through the awkwardness, and walked straight up to Luna.
Without stopping, I leaned in, closed my eyes and kissed her. Time slowed to a stop; she was everything I’d dreamed of and more. Her lips were cool like her evenings and soft like the moonlight. My mouth tingled, and I couldn’t be sure if it was the excitement of the moment or a reaction from Luna’s magic. The world around me faded away; there was only my princess and me.
I could feel her mouth slacken, and even though I knew it was probably shock, I couldn’t resist going just a bit further. I gently probed her lips with my tongue. The taste reminded me of night lilies; I felt a shudder run down my spine. I was sharing a closeness with the Princess no other pony could claim.
My time of bliss was not to last, however. Just as I sensed she may have begun to enjoy it, I was pulled off of Luna and thrown to the ground. I fought as hard as I could to return to those perfect lips, but three guards against one airman was a grossly unfair fight. Finally, they forced my legs down and held me so I couldn’t move. Once the guards realized I’d given up, they dragged me to my feet and stood between me and the Princesses. I looked out over the crowd, only truly noticing them for the first time.
Everypony had a stunned look on their face, but I could see a few faces starting to smile. I figured I may as well ham it up a bit. “YES!” I shouted, pumping my hooves in the air.
The crowd went absolutely nuts. I knew I’d made a mockery of the ceremony, but I still returned to Celestia, saluted properly, and returned to the line, trying not to look smug. “I can die happy now,” I said to Snap, beaming wildly.
He looked me over. I knew my uniform was a wreck, but I couldn’t care at this point. “Yeah, I guess you can,” my wingman told me. “Which is good, because I think the Royal Guards want to kill you.”
I turned and looked at him. “Worth it,” I said with a nod.
“You’re dismissed,” the guards told us. They glared at me in particular. “Now get out.”
I flashed my trademark smile at them led our group offstage, practically bouncing the whole way to the Officer’s Mess. Upon our arrival, we discovered table after table piled high with food; everything looked so good I had no idea where to start. I quickly got separated from my squad-mates as we fanned out in search of our favorite dishes. I filled my first plate quickly and found a table.
I was onto my second helping of food when Famosity approached me. She set her plate down onto the table somewhat harder than she usually did. I swallowed the food I had in my mouth. "Uh, Fam?" I ventured. “Something wrong?”
The Princesses, their guard, and the train of nobles entered the mess hall and began perusing the selections themselves. The guards kept me under constant surveillance, but they had nothing to fear from me; I was as happy as a colt with candy on Nightmare Night.
She turned to me; she looked rather angry. “Did you enjoy your kiss?” Her voice dripped with a venom I wasn’t used to.
“Um…yeah…it-it was great,” I said, confused by her reaction.
“Well I’m glad.” She huffed and sat down with a thump, making me jump a bit. Her eyes stared straight ahead, and she ate her meal silently.