“Trixie, we’re here.”
Trixie shifted, her sleep disturbed by somepony tapping her horn. She grumbled and covered her face with a leg.
“Come on, Trixie, you can’t sleep all day.”
On the contrary, sleeping all day was exactly what Trixie had grown accustomed to in the last few weeks. She struggled to open one eye, noting the concerned frown on Twilight’s face. “What time is it?” The sentence came out as a growl.
“A little after noon.”
Trixie rolled so that she was facing the wall of the carriage. “Trixie’s nocturnal now.”
“But we’re almost to Canterlot,” Twilight pointed out. “I thought you were eager to get there.”
Trixie shot her host a glower and sat up, a long yawn escaping her lips. “Trixie wants to get to Canterlot,” she confessed while rubbing her eyes, “but Trixie also got used to waking up just before dusk.”
Twilight returned to her seat, studying her travelling companion with an understanding smile. “Because of Luna?”
Trixie cringed at the mention of her… lover? She would keep thinking of her that way, damn what anypony else might say! “Trixie is sure you know what it’s like. You’re one of her ex-lovers, after all.”
Twilight didn’t answer, and a long silence passed between them. Trixie tried to shake her sleepiness away before slipping close to the window and lifting the curtain. She closed her eyes against the harsh glare of Celestia’s sun, but was finally able to make out the spires of Canterlot Castle in the near distance. The walls of the city were much closer, the carriage rocking its way towards one of the tall gates.
They’d been on the road for four days. Twilight had generously offered to take Trixie back to Canterlot, after Celestia and Luna both left her behind. The rivals – former rivals? – were well aware of what being left behind might imply for Trixie, but she refused to believe it. Even if Luna was under the influence of Nightmare Moon, Trixie wasn’t ready to give up.
For her part, Twilight was proving to be a far kinder pony than Trixie remembered. It left Trixie uncomfortable, but she accepted Twilight’s offer for a ride; the journey would have taken weeks on hoof. Besides, maybe by leaving the door open for Twilight they really could fix the divide between them.
That rift was particularly large in Trixie’s mind.
Trixie dropped into her seat, letting the curtain fall back as she stifled another yawn. She was so tired… “Perhaps Trixie should wait a bit before trying to meet the princess.”
Twilight had been watching her with fretful eyes. “What are you going to do when you see her?”
Trixie sagged, closing her eyes and seeing Luna’s pretty face in her mind’s eye. “Trixie has no idea. All she knows is that she can’t let things end like this.”
Twilight spoke with hesitancy. “You know… Nightmare’s already seriously hurt six other ponies, not including the ones who died from her machinations. Are you prepared?”
Trixie tried opening her eyes, but couldn’t manage it. “Prepared for what?”
It took Twilight several seconds to answer. “To… deal with the pain. In case she… well…”
“Rejects Trixie?”
When Twilight failed to answer, Trixie pursed her lips and laid back in the seat, head turned away from Twilight. “That will not happen. Trixie has the advantage of knowing a Luna without Nightmare Moon’s influence. Luna will come through.”
She hoped her voice sounded more confident than she felt. In reality, Trixie had no idea what was going to happen. She was afraid, for in that harrowing moment at the Gates of Tartarus Luna had seemed completely under Nightmare’s control. There hadn’t been even the slightest hint of Luna in that body. What if something had happened with the re-merging and Luna’s mind had been subjugated in some way? The thought had been giving Trixie nightmares.
And she wasn’t entirely convinced that the nightmares had been due to her own fears. What if Nightmare was tormenting her? Trixie wouldn’t put it past the abomination.
Twilight sighed as the carriage began to slow, indicating they were approaching the gates to Canterlot. “Don’t go falling asleep on me again, okay? It was hard enough waking you up the first time.”
Trixie waved a dismissive hoof, still not bothering to open her eyes. “It’s not Trixie’s fault she became nocturnal. Take it up with the princess.”
“You’ve had four days to straighten your days and nights,” Twilight countered, though her tone was only half serious.
Trixie ignored the statement, her mind wandering from her weariness. If she wasn’t careful, she might just fall asleep after all.
She could hear the curtains rustling, probably from Twilight looking out the window. A kind but deep voice came from outside. “Good afternoon, Miss Sparkle. We were not aware you were coming.”
“It was a last-minute decision,” Twilight replied, her tone pleasant. “Is there anything wrong?”
“We’re on the lookout for a fugitive, who we believe is trying to get into the castle. I am sorry, miss, but we need to check the carriage.”
Trixie’s eyes snapped open; a fugitive? An unpleasant suspicion came over her as she raised her head to peer at the window.
“Do you really think some crook is gonna try and sneak in on my carriage?” Twilight asked with a roll of her eyes.
“Actually, yes. In fact, we were told it was very likely.”
Twilight’s eyebrows rose. “Really?”
Trixie didn’t need to hear any more to know what was happening. She gestured to Twilight with a silencing motion, who took the hint.
“I understand you’re just trying to do your job,” Twilight noted to the guard, “but I really don’t think—”
“She’s here!”
Trixie jerked about to see another guard peering through the curtains right at her. “She’s in the carriage!”
“Oh no…” Twilight closed the curtain, as if afraid of what was out there. “You mean you’re the fugitive?”
“She’s holding the princess’ student hostage!” a voice outside cried. “Get everypony over here, now!”
“Hostage?” Twilight raised an eyebrow at Trixie.
Trixie rubbed her forehead, anger and frustration clouding her mind. “Great. So Celestia’s trying to keep me from her sister, is she?”
Twilight wilted. “I’m sorry, Trixie.”
“Trixie will not stand for this!” Trixie moved for the carriage door, but Twilight blocked her exit. “Out of Trixie’s way, Sparkle!”
“No!” Twilight shook her head forcefully. “Don’t give them the ammunition. If you hurt somepony, then you really will be a fugitive.”
Trixie threw up her hooves. “But Trixie must do something!”
“Trixie Lulamoon! The carriage is surrounded. There’s nowhere to go.”
“Just wait,” Twilight pleaded, pushing Trixie back into her seat. “There has to be a way to get out of this with nopony getting hurt.”
“Like submitting to them?” Trixie shot the curtains a grimace. “I will not let your teacher ruin the best thing Trixie has ever had!”
“Don’t try to fight,” the guard called once more. “Just release Miss Sparkle and let’s talk.”
“How did they ever come to believe that Trixie is holding you hostage?” Trixie went to the window, waving Twilight off as she peered through the curtains. Sure enough, the carriage was surrounded by Royal Guards. She cursed under her breath as she leaned back from the window. “If Celestia thinks this is enough to stop Trixie—”
Twilight leaned forward, one hoof rubbing her forehead and the other aimed Trixie’s way as if to hold her still. “You can’t fight them. Just give me time to think!”
“Trixie Lulamoon! You are wanted dead or alive by the Canterlot authorities! By the order of Princess Luna, you will release your hostage and give yourself up!”
Trixie heard nothing beyond the princess’ name. Her jaw had dropped, her shoulders slumped as she stared at the closed curtain. “D-did… Did he just say… by Luna’s order?”
“Oh, boy…” Twilight ducked with eyes locked on Trixie, as if she were expecting some violent reaction.
Trixie’s mind was locked upon what she’d just heard. Her stomach began to knot up. She raised her hooves to observe their shaking. “That’s not possible… L-Luna wouldn’t…”
Twilight inched away from Trixie as if she were dangerous. “Nightmare Moon would.”
Trixie’s head shook in a slow, hesitant motion. “But she wouldn’t allow it! Luna would… she’d stop her. I’m s-sure…”
Twilight’s eyes darted to the window, then to her distraught companion. “Like she stopped her from hurting the rest of us?”
Trixie stared at her with wide eyes. Oh Goddess… had she just fallen into the same horrid trap?
The guard’s voice grew aggressive. “There’s no getting out of this, Trixie!”
Trixie’ chin touched her chest, her entire body beginning to shake. “N-no… There really isn’t, is there?”
Twilight hesitated, but at last moved to embrace Trixie. It was… surprisingly warm. “I’m so sorry, Trixie. I tried to warn you.”
She had, hadn’t she? And Trixie had just gone charging in. She had thought that, if she’d just maintain her confidence and enthusiasm, things would work out. But this latest discovery was like the straw breaking her back. Trixie didn’t know what to say or think, much less do. Twilight was right – she should have seen this coming.
Did this mean that Luna was beyond salvation?
The guard outside continued his incessant shouting. “There’s no need to hurt Celestia’s protégé! Do you really want both princesses after your hide?”
“There’s no way you can see Luna now,” Twilight whispered.
Trixie felt the wind flee her lungs; somehow, hearing it made it feel all the more real. Her accursed eyes were tearing up! She didn’t want to cry. She thought she’d cried enough from this bucking roller coaster ride…
“You have to run away.” Twilight pulled back to look Trixie in the eye. “You learned my teleporting spell, so use it! Get away from Canterlot – away from Luna.”
“But… B-but…” Trixie rubbed the moisture from her eyes, desperately trying to find that confidence she’d lost. “L-Luna… I need to see her.”
“I’ll talk to her,” Twilight offered. “Let me act on your behalf. You don’t need to let them catch you, or fight them. Just run, Trixie.”
Trixie thrust her head back. “But how am I supposed to talk to Luna?!”
Twilight cringed at Trixie’s volume. She set her hooves to Trixie’s shoulders, speaking over the guard’s shouts. “If she wants to speak with you, she’ll see you in your dreams.”
“If she wants to speak to me?” Trixie shook her head. “Don’t talk about it like it might not happen!”
“Trixie pl—”
Twilight slumped, shooting a fretful look at the carriage door. A few moments of quiet passed between them, punctuated by the continued calls of the guard outside. Finally, Twilight looked at Trixie, her lips set in a small frown. “I’m sorry for this. I promise, I’ll do what I can.” Her horn began to glow.
“What are you—”
Trixie’s world became violet, a bright flash of light filling her eyes.
“—doing?” The light faded, and Trixie found herself sitting on a hill viewing Canterlot. She blinked, looking around with wide eyes. The top of the hill was covered by a small copse of tall, thin trees that shaded her from the sparkling sunlight. It took a few seconds for her to realize that Twilight had to have teleported her.
She jerked to her hooves, eyes scouring the city below. She finally spotted Twilight’s carriage, completely surrounded by guardponies. They were so far away that Trixie couldn’t tell what was happening, but she didn’t need to see to know that Twilight would be coming out and explaining that Trixie had escaped. Or something like that. Twilight was a smart pony, she surely had some cover story in mind.
Trixie dropped to the grass, her mane flopping over her moist eyes. How could this be happening? But then, did it not make sense? Using Rarity, betraying Applejack, ignoring Rainbow… The princess seemed to be an expert at raising ponies hopes, only to crush them mercilessly. Was Trixie really just another victim – a toy to be played with? The thought left daggers in her heart.
Trixie faced the ultimate question: what to do next? Should she press on and try to find a way to meet the princess? Should she give up and go home?
Home... What home?
That thought left Trixie with one terrible realization: she had nothing. No bits, no job, no princess. This little quest of hers had been everything, for it had helped her avoid the reality of her situation. Now she didn’t even have the hope of a future with Luna to look forward to.
Was it really that simple? Was it over, just like that?
She opened her eyes to survey the city below, mind blank as she tried to think of her next step. Nothing would come to her. But there had to be something. She couldn’t just… fall.
She spotted the pegasi flying about the city. Word was passing of her escape. Soon they would come out in search of her. If they caught her, she might at least get to see Luna again. But she knew that she might not live much longer than that. ‘Dead or alive,’ they’d said.
She couldn’t die, not yet. She needed to think of a way to see Luna that didn’t involve getting caught.
So she did the only thing that came to mind.
She fled.
“Trixie? Helloooo, anypony home?”
She blinked, a yawn escaping her lips. Trixie’s legs were still moving, one hoof after the other. Had she fallen asleep walking? The last thing she remembered was turning her back on Canterlot, unable to think beyond her misery and weariness. The sky was darkening, the sun not even visible anymore over the hilly horizon. Where was she?
“Oh, good,” a familiar voice said. “For a moment there, I thought something was really wrong.”
Trixie stumbled to a stop, shaking off the weariness and dropping to her haunches as if her legs could no longer support her weight. She glanced to her left, then to her right, but couldn’t identify the voice’s owner. Was she going crazy now?
“Up here.”
She looked up and was surprised to find Rainbow Dash, of all ponies, hovering a few feet above and ahead of her.
“You…? What are you doing here?”
Rainbow landed before her. Trixie noticed that she was still wearing that familiar Luna-themed necklace and turned her head away from it, a churning sensation in her gut.
“You okay?” Rainbow tilted her head. “You look like you’ll collapse at any second.”
Trixie promptly did so, head bouncing in the grass. She was so tired she didn’t even register the pain of what should have been a hard impact.
“Whoa!” Rainbow dropped next to her. “Hang in there, Trix. You’ll be okay.”
“No I won’t,” Trixie whispered, tears in her eyes. “There’s nothing about this situation that is okay. She’s throwing me away. Why does everypony throw me away?”
Rainbow cringed. “Hey… Don’t sweat it,” she offered, though she didn’t sound very confident. “That’s just what Luna does… y’know?”
Not the most tactful response. Without bothering to move her head, Trixie rolled her eyes up to stare at the pegasus. “What are you doing here?”
Rainbow smiled in her most comforting manner. “Twilight asked me to look for you, make sure you were okay.”
Twilight did? “Life is hell,” Trixie muttered. “I just lost everything. I’ve nowhere to live, no bits to my name... how is Trixie supposed to be okay?”
“Umm…” Rainbow glanced around as if looking for inspiration, her face distraught. “Well… You have… You have your fame?” She seemed to latch on to the idea. “Yeah, there’s fame. I mean, you did defeat all of Luna’s ex-lovers. Even me. Everypony knows who you are, Trix! Surely something good’s gotta come from that.”
Trixie closed her eyes. Fame. There was a time when she’d craved it. Now she wanted nothing to do with it. “I just want my princess back…”
Rainbow sighed and lowered her head to nuzzle Trixie. “I know, it’s tough. This won’t be any consolation to ya, but we’ve all gone through this. It hurts, but… you learn to cope.”
Was that what Trixie should do? Learn to cope? Rainbow was trying to be comforting, but her words didn’t help. After all, none of them had coped with this. If they had, Trixie wouldn’t have had to fight any of them.
Rainbow seemed determined to keep trying. “Come on, Trixie. It’s not so bad. Look at what you’ve achieved. Nopony was able to get to Celestia and Luna like you did. I mean heck, they went and put a warrant on your head! You must have really gotten to Nightmare if she—”
Trixie let out a huff. “You’re not very good at this, are you?”
Rainbow went silent – blessedly so. Too tired to bother moving, Trixie closed her eyes and tried not to think on everything that was happening. Maybe if she could just fall asleep again…
“Trixie, listen to me.”
Trixie groaned, but she listened.
“You were on the right track. You still can be.”
Trixie glanced up at Rainbow, who was watching her with a firm frown but eyes shining with confidence. “The right track?”
“Yeah.” Rainbow nodded. “Look at what you’ve done! You didn’t just beat us; you helped us see the light. Maybe you didn’t even mean to do it, I dunno. But the things you said when we fought, the way you stood by Luna… it reminded me of how I used to be. How I should be.”
She stood and gave Trixie a big smile. “I’m trying to be that pony again. The pony I was before Luna and Nightmare Moon. The one that would have stood by her best friend, rather than fight her. I think we’re all trying to regain that little something we lost.”
Trixie considered this, but through her misery she just couldn’t take any comfort in the words. She turned her head away as she asked, “And who’s going to fight me, and give me back what I lost?”
Rainbow tilted her head once more, thinking on this statement. “What did you lose?”
Her confidence. Her understanding and certainty. Her drive to go on, even. She couldn’t see the path. She’d been searching for it all this time, just trying to understand where she was supposed to go next. Yet all the road signs had been torn down, and she was lost. What was she fighting for? Herself? Luna? Celestia? Equestria? The other Twilight? She didn’t feel like any of it was worth fighting for, not anymore.
“My direction,” she whispered, closing her eyes and trying not to cry. “I’ve lost my direction.”
A long silence passed between them. Trixie wondered if Rainbow was about to give up. Would that be a bad thing? Perhaps, but Trixie wasn’t even sure she cared. All she knew was that she was hurting and she wanted it to stop.
She felt something tap her horn. She flinched and glanced up to find Rainbow dangling the amulet over her head. The pegasus slipped the necklace on Trixie, who eyed it with a certain… sadness. That amulet… Luna had given it to her once. Seeing it was an inescapable reminder of how she’d just been crushed, and she wasn’t sure she liked it.
“You gave me that a while back,” Rainbow noted, stepping away from Trixie with head and shoulders slumped. “It helped me heal up real quick. I don’t know if it works on broken hearts, but it’s worth a try, right? Listen, Twilight and the rest of us, we’re trying to figure something out, something that may help Equestria. Now I won’t push you, ’cause I know you’re hurting pretty bad right now… but, if you decide you wanna make a difference, you’re welcome to join us.” She turned aside, wings spreading wide. “We want you with us, Trix. Please, just think about it? You can find us at Twilight’s library in Ponyville, okay?”
Trixie didn’t answer, and after a moment of hesitancy Rainbow lifted off. Trixie watched her head back to Canterlot. So all Trixie's former enemies were joining forces, were they? How was she supposed to feel about that? Proud? Eager? She wasn’t sure, but she knew that what she was feeling now was not what they were hoping for.
She sat up and eyed the amulet around her neck. The onyx seemed to hold the depths of a night within its polished surface. A moon and stars… a sure reminder of Princess Luna. Part of Trixie wanted to treasure it. The other part of her wanted to throw it away.
But she couldn’t do that, so she clutched it close and thought some more on the princess she might never see again, save when she taunted her dreams.
She didn’t even bother to wonder where she would go next.