//------------------------------// // Chap 10: Apples in a Pear Tree // Story: My Little F***wits: Friendship is Weird // by Captain Princess //------------------------------// And what was that commotion? A violent struggle, of sorts. To call it a fight would have been charitable, and calling it a struggle still was. But there was little else to accurately describe the act of a drunk pony attempting to fight with a very large and nonplussed pony. Big Mac was attempting to ignore the small drunk repeatedly hoofing at his flank. He was a small and spry looking grey pony, repeatedly jamming himself into Big Mac as a fly on a wall. Pointless and not very irrtating to the wall. "Thhhink yer tough, b-...big guy!?" he mumbled, batting against the colossal red thigh. "Nnope" was the only response he got. He didn't like that very much. It seemed as if he had irritated Big mac enough with his constant haranguing, as he had gotten a response. A response in the form of a solid kick, from one of Mac's massive legs. It didn't seem to deter to drunk much, as he got to his hooves, dusted himself off, and charged at Mac again, laughing like a madpony. It was quite the show, and a good deal of Appleoosan townsponies agreed, as they began to form a crowd. A one sided 'fight' between a pony convinced he was winning, and a pony trying to continue his business whilst ignoring the fly. What went for entertainment in Appleoosa must've been rather tame. As the now three fuckwits approached the scene, Twilight and her gaggle of friends were already nearby, watching just like the rest, save for Applejack, who had tipped her hat over her face, likely out of embarrassment. A swarm of birds flew overhead, but scattered as they reached the crowd. None of them, not the elements, nor the idiots had any clue as to what to do. Pinkie had gotten popcorn from nowhere in particular, and was sharing it out to her friends and the crowd. "So what now?" asked Lemon. As he turned to his friends, he began stare bemusedly at Zegram, who was slowly raising his hoof. He slowly reached towards Lemon's face, and as it drew near, he slowly but firmly pressed it against Lemon's muzzle. If this were a cartoon, there would likely have been a 'honk' sound. "Boop." he said. "You're it." Immediately he flapped his wings and took to the sky, and as Lemon turned to Dingo, confused, she simply smiled at him and followed suit. It took him a full minute for the gears to turn, and as he realized what was happening, he lowered himself to the ground, spread his wings, and with a mighty flap, launched from the ground at a force and speed that would have caught Rainbow Dash's interest, were she not cheering for Big Mac at the time. The three of them put on a display of air-tag that managed to split the crowd's attention, as their little game included aerial dives and barrel rolls, loop-de-loops and full-contact body-slams. Even Rainbow and Pinkie had noticed, and whilst Pinkie's popcorn munching intensified, Rainbow had taken an analytical approach, and began examining and judging the fuckwits and their moves. Her overall impression was 'not bad'. After a minute, it seemed the scuffle between Big Mac and his mortal enemy had come to a close, as Zegram spotted Applejack waving her hat at him as he was in hot pursuit. As he landed with a level of grace that surprised even him, he took a moment to wonder how he had come to be so capable at flying. Indeed, how they all had. As he touched down, he noticed both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie staring at him, Pinkie with an unsettling look on her face. It was like she was an owl who just saw a fat mouse. "That a friend of yers?" she asked, pointing at Dingo, who was still engaged in a circular pursuit with Lemon. "Sure is." he replied. "ANOTHER ONE!? OHMYGOSHTHATISSOCOOLICANTWAITTOMEETHERANDSHECANBEOURNEWESTFRIENDFOREVER!" Zegram had no response to that. "She from yer uh, other dimension place too?" "...yeeeah" "She anything like you two?" "YOU PINEAPPLE-LOOKIN' MOTHERFUCKER, I'M GONNA SLAP THE BITCH OUTTA YOU!" was the cry from the aforementioned, as she closed to gap with Lemon and slammed into him, knocking them both out of the air, and throwing up a dust cloud as they landed with a thud on the dusty earth of the Appleoosan street. The outcry caused Rainbow, who had simply stood and kept quiet, burst into a fit of laughter. Zegram didn't even turn to look at them, as he said "Maybe." "Uh huh" was Applejack's stoic reply. "Cousin Applejack!" came a cry from the now dispersing crowd, and none other than Braeburn, the local representative of the Appleoosa branch of the Apple family appeared. "Braeburn!" she called back to him, and a quick hug was shared as Zegram turned to join his odd compatriots in their tangled mess. "Didya see the fight? Ol' Salt Licker thought he could take Cousin Big Mac, but he got shown din't he?" "Yeah uh, listen Brae-" "He sure did!" chimed in Rainbow Dash. "Got his flank hoofed to him! Your brother might be a little boring Applejack, but he's rock ha-..." but caught herself as Applejack and Braeburn both got struck with laughter. "Cousin I needa talk to y'all fer a second. Somethin's come up down at our orchard an' I figured since y'all were here we could maybe-" but he was cut off by some yelling in the distance. "YER GETTIN 7 ACROSS THE ASS TONIGHT" "YA'LL CAINT GIT MEEEEE" "OH GAWD, ZEGRAMS GOT THE AIDS RUN" "Who're yer friends anyhow, cousin?" "Uh, they're uh...nevermind about them jus' now Braeburn. What did you want?" "Well, since all you element types are here I figured we could use the help of yer unicorn pals. There's somethin' weird and most likely magical goin' on down at our orchard. Some kinda magical doohickey thing's there." "That does sound like the kinda thing Twilight could help with, sure enough." said Applejack, tapping a hoof on her chin. "Awf'ly convenient though, considerin' we ain't been in town more'n a couple hours." she said to herself, as she walked to gather the elements together, and reluctantly, the fuckwits. The apple orchard down at the Apple family ranch had indeed received a macguffin visitor. Upon first inspection, it looked to be a face. Only Twilight recongized it as being a face, due to her encounter with 'humans', but even to her trained eyes the face seemed warped and disturbing. It was cast in dark stone, and upon closer examination, seemed to only be a piece of something larger, as indicated by the jagged edges where it had clearly broken off from something. Pinkie wouldn't even look at it, as one glance and she claimed it was screaming at her. Twilight had to admit, that the object did exude a sense of upset, and there was a faint feeling of distress emanating from it's mouth, like an inaudible scream. None of the ponies gathered around this object had so much as gotten too close to it, and Twilight had only eyed it, not daring to touch it with hoof or magic. It didn't even sit on the ground, it simply floated. As Twilight approached it closer, with Braeburn close behind her, Applejack was trying to halt the question machine that was Pinkie Pie, from getting direct access to their new acquaintance. Rainbow Dash seemed remiss to even speak to her. Fluttershy kept pestering Rainbow, citing that she looked flustered. Rarity barely cared at all at this point, as Applejack had given them all a rudimentary introduction. "Here's another one of 'em." "So whaddya think it is Miss Twilight Princess ma'am?" asked Braeburn, nervous about the effect this thing might have on his apples. And what it might do to the fruits on his appletrees. As she was about to answer, the ground shook. A loud, low rumble rose up, and as the ground began to shake with increasing violence, an appletree began to shake. As it's apples fell to the ground, Applejack called out. "BLOOMBERG!" she cried, as the tree began to sink. Shuddering violently, it was harshly pulled down through the ground, and the two Apple ponies couldn't help but watch as one would when watching a pet go through a meat grinder. As a distressed Applejack and Braeburn had a fit at the unexplainable loss Bloomberg, Twilight and gang braced for impact. There was a sixth sense about a rumble of this nature. And sure enough, the ground tore open and from within the earth came forth a hideous monstrosity. An immense worm creature, erupting from the earth and swallowing up the disturbing macguffin with it's entry. Twilight froze. Fluttershy yelped and hid behind her. Applejack and Braeburn were grief-stricken, and Pinkie and Rarity screamed. Rainbow Dash simply stared in awe of the size of the creature. Easily as tall as a house, just shorter than an apple-tree, and unknowably long, what with most of it's body still submerged, the creature had a head like an upturned shovel, eyes all over it's pointed head, accompanied by spines. As it roared, Twilight and her scholarly impulse had to declare, for she knew what this monster was. "An equestrian death worm!?" she cried out, staring it in it's many eyes. Dingo was now several feet above the ground, staring in similar awe as Rainbow, while Zegram simply groaned. As bizarre and threatening as this scenario was, his ire came from what he saw. It had eaten the macguffin. "Not this again" he whined. Lemon, on the other hoof, was foaming at the mouth. He was hyperventilating, and his wings were wide open. With a gutteral roar, he reared up. "IT BETTER NOT GET A FUCKING SHIELD!" Zegram shouted. "THRESHEEERRRRRRRR!" Lemon cried out.