//------------------------------// // Chapter 32: Cleaning Up Nicely // Story: Green // by Steel Resolve //------------------------------// Fluttershy was having a bit of a flashback as she was carried in Rarity’s aura. She patiently waited for an explanation, but one did not seem to be forthcoming. “Rarity, where are we going?” Her marefriend was marching down the hallways with purpose, but despite her quick pace, it soon became clear that she lacked any real direction and was searching randomly. Rarity looked back in chagrin, smiling apologetically. “Sorry, love. Princess Celestia told me we would be welcomed in the royal baths; you can understand my excitement. However, it appears I should have asked for directions.” Fluttershy smiled back, somewhat relieved. She had been worried Rarity might be catatonic again. “Okay, why not set me down, and we can find somepony who knows where they are?” Rarity blinked several times, staring up at her marefriend as if seeing her for the first time. She shook her head with a grimace, wondering where her mind was today. “Yes,” she said as she slowly lowered Fluttershy to the ground. “I’m sorry, love. I don’t know what came over me.” Fluttershy waited patiently until all four hooves were on the ground. When she was properly situated, she trotted forward and hugged Rarity. “It’s okay. I can understand how exciting that would be after spending all day in the muck.” She looked around, attempting to get her bearings. “We should go to the mess hall; some of the guard ponies there could probably give us some directions.” The mess hall wasn’t difficult to find; even from a distance they could make out the rowdy laughing and shouting from off duty guards. Rarity scanned the room, looking for somepony she could bother very quickly that was not currently engaged in conversation with others. To one side of the room, at a largely unoccupied table, she spotted a familiar face. The stallion was trying to disappear into a mug, which, judging by the smell, was filled with some sort of heavy beer. Rarity felt for him; it had been a rather grueling morning. “Excuse me,” she said as she sat down opposite him, Fluttershy settling down next to her. “I hate to be a bother, but I wanted to ask for your help.” The stallion looked up in alarm. “Oh, it’s you. Nice work today, Sarge was impre—” He cut off as his gaze came to Fluttershy. “Sarge! What are—” His eyes squinted, looking again. “Oh. Oh! You’re... Right, you’re her. Not her, but her. Right.” Rarity looked back and forth between the flustered stallion and her marefriend. Fluttershy was stifling a giggle behind a hoof. “Um... well, I suppose introductions are in order. Fluttershy, this is... oh dear. I’m terribly sorry, I don’t know your name.” “What?!” The stallion said in alarm, his gaze having been fixed on Fluttershy. “Oh! Right, um, Corporal Stardust. Friends call me Dusty. Well, they will, when I make some. Right now they call me Rookie.” He grimaced, clearly frustrated by the nickname. Rarity’s eyebrows rose. “Corporal? Goodness, that was quick! Congratulations are in order, I suppose?” “Yeah, thanks.” Stardust blinked once and from the pinprick pupils he sported thereafter, he had to come to the conclusion that something wasn’t entirely right with the way the conversation was going. “I mean...” He rubbed the back of his neck with a hoof before giving her a look. “Nevermind, you said you needed help?” Rarity looked askance at Dusty, “Well, it’s nice to see a pony who works hard move up. In any case, I was wondering if you might know how to get to the royal baths?” Dusty nodded, taking a sip from his mug. “Oh yeah. Out the hall, take a left, up three floors. Then straight ahead. But don’t go sneaking in there. Last guy that got caught is still peeling onions for the cooks six months later.” Rarity nodded curtly. “We’ll be sure to keep that in mind—” Fluttershy frowned unhappily, cutting in with a curt opinion. “They put him in the kitchen for wanting a nice bath?! That’s terrible! Why would anypony be so mean?” Dusty coughed up his beer, his eyes darting to Fluttershy as his cheeks reddened. When he was done with his coughing fit he pointedly looked down at the table, not able, or perhaps simply not willing, to meet her eyes as he spoke. “Yeah... he wasn’t trying to take a bath... The guy has a thing for wet manes...” Fluttershy looked at him curiously. “What’s wrong with that?” Rarity coughed uncomfortably. “Fluttershy... I believe he’s trying to tell you the stallion in question is a... peeper.” “Oh,” was the only response Fluttershy could give at first, an uneasy silence grew between the three ponies as she thought about that. “Um...” she finally said, her cheeks burning, “Well, maybe that’s not so mean, then.” “Well! I believe I have had my fill of information I didn’t want to know! Come, darling.” Rarity nodded to Stardust. “Congratulations, again. I’ll see you tomorrow, Dusty.” “Ah, here we are,” Rarity said as they found the gilded entryway of the baths. She stepped forward eagerly, her heart unable to contain her joy at the idea of being clean once more. It spilled over into, and bolstered, her magic, almost ripping the doors off their hinges when she touched them. There was a sudden shock as her magic was overridden by another, followed by a pair of halberds which hacked her dream to pieces, crossing in front of her and denying her entrance to the promised land. “Halt,” the guard on the left said. He was a unicorn stallion in ceremonial armor. Even distracted as she was she noted the armor was designed without the heavier gold plating inlaid with spells as she had been wearing during her testing. She backed away, turning to face the obstructing pony. “I beg your pardon! I was given permission to enter these baths!” Fluttershy, meanwhile, was busy trying to hide behind Rarity, though it wasn’t shyness alone that made her hide herself. The guard on the right was looking at her oddly, as if he knew her, and that usually meant the pony was a ‘fan.’ “Sorry, miss, but these are the private baths of the royal sisters. Nopony is allowed access,” the unicorn guard replied, unwavering in the face of Rarity’s mounting irritation. “Don’t you ‘sorry miss’ me!” Rarity said imperiously. “I just spent two hours jumping, sweating, and crawling through muck.  I feel dirty and drained and ugly. Look at my mane! It looks horrid! It may never regain its proper shape again!” Fluttershy was drawn from hiding hearing this. She rushed forward and hugged Rarity, murmuring soothing words to her. The earth pony guard finally brightened as he realized who the pegasus that had been hiding behind the unicorn was. ”Shy-shy!” Fluttershy looked up from in alarm. “Eep!” She ducked behind Rarity again. “Hey,” the earth pony said, smiling. “Sorry if I scared you, been a while. What are you up to?” Fluttershy peeked up again, curious. “Um... hiding?” The earth pony chortled warmly. “Well, yeah, I can see that. But I meant lately. Last I saw you, you’d kicked my flank. I thought for sure you were gonna join up. Tried asking Sarge how you were but she just gave me a look, you know how she is.” He paused, shaking his head. “Dangit, Ward...” he said quietly. “I mean, of course you know, she’s your mom...” “Um...” Fluttershy said, hesitantly. “I’m sorry, do I know you?” She blushed brightly. “I mean, I think I should, but I don’t remember—” Rarity stomped a hoof impatiently. “I’m certain this is very interesting but perhaps we can have this discussion on the other side of the door where the nice hot bath is?” The unicorn guard eyed her impassively, trying to assess whether she was going to be an annoyance or a threat. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could repeat himself, a bright green flash went off overhead, dropping a scroll from the ether. “Excuse me.” He unfurled the scroll, and found orders from Celestia herself to allow access to ‘Rarity, the Bearer of Generosity’ and ‘Fluttershy, the Bearer of Kindness’. “State your names, please?” Rarity smiled triumphantly. “Rarity, and Fluttershy. That’s all this was, wasn’t it? You hadn’t gotten the order yet? Terribly sorry about being awful about this, but I badly need to get clean. May we go in now?” The unicorn nodded, swinging the doors wide open. “Her majesty’s orders give you full access.” He stepped back to allow her to pass. “Thank you!” Rarity squealed as she ran past. Fluttershy looked once more at the stallion, before hurrying inside as well. The royal baths were... opulent. Every fixture looked like it was made of (or at the very least coated in) gold, and Rarity strongly suspected the former. And every surface that was not gold appeared to be carved from a single piece of stone, hollowed out and shaped by the sort of magic that casually moved the skies themselves. The scale of the chamber was astonishing—but then, it would have to be to comfortably accommodate two alicorns. There was a large bath in the center, filled with hot water which constantly flowed, draining used water and replenishing with fresh. Off to one side was a cold dip tub, intended to close the pores after a long soak, and to the other an alicorn-sized massage table. Any staff that normally ran this very private room were off-duty at the moment, but there were more than enough beauty supplies here. From the various cards attached, they looked to be gifts from every corner of the world. The vast majority remained unopened, however, and given the sheer quantities involved they were likely to remain so for a long time to come. Rarity nearly died on the spot at the sight of all this luxury. She wondered if any spa in the world would ever feel adequate again. She heard a high-pitched squeal, and fruitlessly looked around for its source for a few seconds before finally figuring out it had been coming from her own lips. “Yes!” she exclaimed with an excitement that had only been rivaled when she had realized the lips pressed against her own were in fact Fluttershy’s, and not another dream to be woken from with sadness. “Oh my,” said the quiet voice of her marefriend. Rarity turned back to her, a brilliant smile emblazoned on her face. Fluttershy looked around with trepidation, looking for all the world like she was actually worried they were trespassing in such a genuinely majestic place. “I... Words cannot express... Thank all that is good and right with the world!” Rarity breathed, eyeing the steam rising from the tub, her eyes wet with tears. In her mind, a heavenly chorus of voices sang.  She quickly snatched several bottles from the shelves. Soon she had shampoos, conditioners, soaps and pore cleansers—everything she would need to erase all trace of the filth she’d previously been slogging through. Her smile grew ever more, seeing the names of true masters of the craft upon the bottles. Why, any of these sell for enough to repair my kitchen. She mused, wistfully. And now she was going to use them on mere bathing? Oh yes, yes I am. She stepped forward towards the tub, and the world decided that would be an opportune time to rise up and smack her in the face, or so it seemed. In reality, here in this place designed to relax, her body decided that it was going to do just that. Furthermore, it had apparently decided that it was going to do so now, with or without its owner's permission; her knees had simply buckled beneath her. She closed her eyes in resignation, detachedly noting how that floor was probably really going to hurt when it would finish its rapid ascent and kissed her chin.   After a few moments, she dared open her eyes again, and found the floor had stopped its treacherous attack on her person. She was being held by a pair of butter-yellow hooves, suspended in midair. Looking upwards, she found her marefriend hovering and looking down at her with evident concern. “Oh, thank goodness!” Fluttershy exclaimed as Rarity opened her eyes. “Hold on a second, we’re going to set you down so I can take care of you.” Rarity was laid down, very carefully. As she landed, she glared balefully at the stone surface. Thought you could get me, did you? Better luck next time. “Mrgh,” she grunted irritably as she tried to thank Fluttershy for the timely rescue, only to find that her voice, too, was now betraying her. Still, the floor was pleasantly cool, and now that a truce had been declared between them, it actually seemed quite comfortable. She heard Fluttershy from somewhere that wasn’t down here where said comfort was, and then felt a tug as the pegasus began undoing her braided hair. She shuddered to think what her mane must taste like. “It’s okay, I know,” Fluttershy said softly, working the braid loose, “just lie still, we’ll get you all fixed up.” She clucked her tongue in disapproval. “I told you this was going to be hard on you. I need you to be more careful.” Rarity tried to explain that she’d really had no idea how exhausted she was before her legs had spontaneously collapsed, and also that she would indeed try to take it a bit easier in the future: “Murfle.” Incredibly, this seemed to satisfy Fluttershy. She kissed Rarity gently on the nape of the neck. “Thank you. I’m going to help you into the tub now. Are you ready?” “Mmmph,” Rarity replied, soon finding herself being lifted bodily with gentle hooves. The moment her body touched the water, every muscle melted into goop. Fluttershy propped her up against one side of the tub, grabbing a nearby showerhead. Glorious warmth flowed down Rarity’s mane, rinsing Celestia-knew-what from it in the process. Continuing to hold the shower head over Rarity’s mane, Fluttershy grabbed the shampoo Rarity had chosen with her wing, squeezing out a generous dollop onto Rarity’s head. She massaged Rarity’s scalp as she lathered the shampoo, working it all through her locks, which were even then beginning to take the accustomed shape her hair was used to being in. Rarity groaned as Fluttershy continued to wash her hair while also giving a light massage through the tresses. “Goodness, so much tension in your shoulders... I wish Lotus were here, but I’ll try my best to help you relax.” Happy little groans were her only reply. Fluttershy giggled; Rarity sounded so adorable. Then she got a very naughty thought: Nopony else is here... She eyed the massage table, blushing furiously. Rarity did say she wanted a happy ending... “Ward?” Brook asked after a good deal of time had passed in comfortable silence. “What were you talking about with that mare back there?” Ward turned to his co-worker. “That was Sergeant Posey’s daughter.” “Posey... Posey...hmmm.” Sergeant Brook’s eyebrows rose several inches. “Wildflower had a foal? When?” Ward punched him in the shoulder. “She’s in there, and she has a marefriend. Do the math.” He shook his head, smiling in nostalgia. “Never would have believed it if I hadn’t seen it firsthoof. She went up against six of us, and took us all down; definitely her mother’s daughter.” “Jeez... I remember the sarge filling out her armor a bit more at one point, but I just figured that stallion she married was a good cook.” Brook shook his head in astonishment. “I was stationed up north at the time, she’d been sent out on a scouting mission with her flight. She brought 'em back one by one. I think I told you about it, some kinda mess with the borders being badly defined and the local gryphon flight thought she was invading.” “Hah, yeah. I was still in school when that happened. Papers said it took the princess a good few weeks to calm the gryphons down." “Don’t blame ‘em, she did a number on that whole flight. And she was pregnant at the time? How does her husband keep up?” “Keep up, Twilight!” Both guards snapped back into proper guard positions as the pink dervish that had been terrorizing the castle all day rounded the corner. When she spotted the guards, Pinkie waved, a huge smile adorning her face. She ran on, giggling madly. The aforementioned Twilight Sparkle was hot on her heels, showing clear signs of exertion. “Pinkie, we need to get ready!” She charged down the hall after her wayward marefriend. They watched Twilight race by, remaining perfectly motionless. When the commotion had ceased, Brook let out a long-held breath. “Okay, that settles it. This makes five I’ve seen in person, and they’re all uniformly insane. The pink one more than the rest.” “Five? I thought there were six Elements? Also, I only counted four mares just now.” “I met the rainbow-maned one in Ponyville a few years back. She kept making faces at me. It was all I could do to not burst out laughing. Five out of six. I wonder if the farmer is crazy too...” Ah must be out of my goldurned mind lettin’ her even try this, Applejack thought as she watched Rainbow flit back and forth trying to herd two dozen cats into some semblance of order. The animals were growing increasingly restless the longer their caretaker was gone, presenting an ever bigger problem for her marefriend. Even Applejack herself was starting to have trouble keeping all the critters happy. “Dash, just quit it. You ain’t gonna get ‘em to mind you like that. Them critters can’t be reasoned with anyway. ‘S why Ah like dogs.” She whistled and took a step away from the filled food bowls, promptly making all the cats crowd around her. “Cats’ll only listen to ya if you’ve got food.” “It’s not my fault that they don’t listen,” Dash groused. She glared at the cats crowding around the food bowls. “I’m giving up naptime for this. The least they could do is behave like they do around ‘Shy.” Applejack barked a short, mirthless laugh. “Why would they? You don’t know ‘em like she does. Yer trying to get 'em to fall into line, she just asks 'em all polite like.” She stopped, seeing no comprehension in her marefriend’s eyes. “Dashie, Ah know yer tryin’, but you just don’t have the knack for this. Yer just not the nurturing type.” Dash snorted. “I so am! Just lemme at something, I’ll nurture the stuffing out of it.” She spread her wings and looped around the inside of the cottage, coming to a halt inches from Applejack’s face. “What’s nurture anyhow?” “...Just go take a nap, Dash. Ah got this.” “Nah, I’m already late for weather duty.” Dash darted forward and placed a kiss on the bridge of Applejack’s muzzle before flying over to the door. “Catch you tonight, AJ.” Applejack watched her marefriend fly off, her thoughts drifting back to her family. Caring for animals had nothing on caring for a young filly. Though, back then she had Macintosh and Granny to help her. Two caring ponies she had come to rely on. She wasn’t sure Dash would ever be able to do the same. She sighed and shook her head. That’s gonna have to wait till later, there’s work to be done. She grabbed one more bag of food from the pantry to give to the squirrels who had been the most annoying creatures and therefore got their food last. After their bowls were filled she nodded to Harry and set off towards Sweet Apple Acres. “Grannie?” Applejack called as she entered the house. “Mac? ‘Bloom?” “Keep yer voice down, Jackie. Some of us are tryin’ ta rest,” Grannie said testily from her rocking chair. “Ah’m sorry, Grannie. Jes getting back from ‘Shy’s place and checking in,” Applejack said sheepishly. Grannie Smith peered at her. “It’s about danged time. Mac’s found Wither Root in the eastern fields, and he’s gonna need all the help he can get weedin’ it out.” Applejack’s ears clamped to the top of her head in distress. “Ah’m on it!” she said briefly before ducking back out the door. She hadn’t stopped to ask which part of the eastern fields, but a quick stop to the hilltop would give her the vantage she needed to spot him. Cresting the treeline, she did find her brother, but she also wondered at the skyline, which looked completely bare of clouds. Didn’t Rainbow say that she had work to do? Sky’s looking clear as ever. She looked around if she saw her marefriend anywhere, grumbled a little under her breath as she set off to the easternmost field. Once she dipped under the treeline she spotted something that had eluded her from up above: A rainbow coloured tail, hanging from the branches of one of the nearby trees. Lazy good for nothin’... “Dash!” She reared up and shook the tree, trying to roust her snoozing marefriend. The response was classic. Rainbow snored loudly, her tail swaying back and forth in metronome with the motion of the tree. Completely oblivious to her marefriend’s attempts at waking her up. “Dangit, Dash!” Applejack stood back from the trunk, eyeing Dash’s relative position to her, and bucked hard. “Wh-a-oaa!” Rainbow came falling out of the branches, landing flat on the ground. She stood up shakily, looking askance at Applejack for the sudden jarring wake up call. “Ouch... um, what’s up, AJ?” “Sure ain’t you, that’s for sure. Ah thought you had work?” “I did! It’s done. We already had all the rainfall we needed for the last week so I only had to clear the skies today.” Applejack’s ears twitched, somewhat mollified to hear Dash wasn’t shirking work. “Uh-uh, so you thought you’d take a nap instead of coming back to me?” “Well, yeah. You asked me to, remember?” “And Ah wouldn’t have said that if’n Ah’d known that you’d only be gone for ten seconds!” Applejack replied, glaring at her marefriend. “But seein’ as yer not working, Ah need your help. C’mon.” “Can it wait?” Dash asked, looking up at the branch she’d be sleeping in. “I was having a nice dream.” “No, it can’t,” Applejack said as she began moving again. “We got us a bad case of Wither Root over in the Gravensteins to the east.” Rainbow took to the air, following Applejack closely as she tried to wipe the sleep crusts out of her eyes. “Um... so you have weeds in your gravestones?” Applejack let out a sigh and increased her pace. “No, Dash. The apple trees are gettin’ sick. We gotta kill them weeds quick before they spread.” Mac was already hard at work, ripping out the root of the infecting plant on each tree and tossing it into a burning barrel. “Mac. How’s it goin’?” “Not good,” came the taciturn reply. “How can we help?” Mac gestured to the nearest tree, “Start there.” “I’m on it!” Dash yelled, zooming towards the tree and tearing into the ground like she’d been born a mole. “Uh... Dash?” Rainbow Dash had already dug a pony sized hole in the ground before poking her head out to see Applejack giving her an exasperated look. “Yer only supposed to dig up the Wither Root, sugarcube.” “Uhm... okay? So what should I be digging up then?” Applejack pointed to the bright blue leaves attached to vines creeping up the base of the tree. “Tear 'em out of the ground at the base, and toss 'em in the fire. We can’t leave any of 'em or they’ll spread quicker than Fluttershy’s bunnies in matin’ season.” Dash nodded, with a look filled with determination. “Gotcha.” She then continued digging until she found one of the deeper lying roots and tore a good section of it out of the ground when she took off, the root firmly held between her teeth. “That’s the way, but not so quick. We want the whole root, not a trace left.” Dash nodded in understanding, tearing into the next infestation with vigor and slowly pulling it out of the ground. They went at it for a good couple of hours, working in silence while decimating the sickly looking blue vine wherever they found it. Mac was the first one to take a short break, leaning against a tree. Dash looked around for more vines, but did not find any in the immediate vicinity. She looked around for Applejack, spotting her tearing out another section of vines. “Hey, is that all of em?” “Nope!” Big Mac replied, gesturing south, where Dash could now see tree after tree with the blue vines growing up the bases. Dash groaned. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. We’re gonna be at this forever!” “Nah, couple days maybe. S’gonna take some doing though.” Applejack responded, grinning. “Ah’m real sorry Ah was cross with ya, earlier, sug. Just had some things on my mind lately.” “No sweat, AJ.” Dash ripped another vine from the ground and coughed when one of the blue leaves broke off and got lodged in her throat. “Just tell me how much of my nap time I’m gonna lose for this?” Apple took off her hat, wiping the sweat from her brow. “Hate to say it, sug, but I don’t think we’ll have much time for naps for a while. We might even have to hire some help for a bit.” She called to Big Mac, who was still busily tearing the Wither Root from the ground. “Mac, ya think the rainy day fund can cover a little help, here?” Mac paused in his work, thinking about the request. “Eeyup,” he replied at last. “Alright then, Ah’m gonna head in town and see about getting a couple farmhands. Mac, be sure to grab some lunch, you’ve been at this longer.” “So, can I take a nap now?” Rainbow asked testily. Her enthusiasm had been flagging for some time when it became apparent there was no clear end to the infestation. Applejack felt a flash of irritation, picturing that same question when it was time to feed their foal, or bathe it, or any of the other time consuming tasks that came with raising a little one. “No!” Her voice softened as Rainbow’s ears laid back. “Dangit! Look... Ah know you’re tired, but these trees is like family, and when the chips are down you don’t take a nap when family needs you. Do you understand, sug?” "Alright, alright. I got it," Dash groused, listlessly pulling another small vine from the trunk of a nearby tree. “Thank you, sug. Ah... it means a lot that you’re here, helping out. Ah... love you.” Applejack said as she closed the distance between then, nuzzling Rainbow. Dash’s eyes went wide, and she hissed softly. “Not in front of your family, AJ! You said yourself—” Big Mac cleared his throat loudly. “Miss Dash, me an Grannie figured you two out weeks ago.” “What?” Rainbow said, her voice very small and quiet. “Eeyup. ‘S’long as AJ’s happy, we got no problem.” “Oh...” Rainbow replied, blushing slightly. She turned back to Applejack and kissed her on the cheek. “love-you-too,” she blurted out in one breath. Applejack smiled happily, nuzzling Rainbow again. “Ah know, sugar.” Nodding to Mac, she mouthed a silent ‘thank you’ to him, which brought a small smile to his lips. “You two keep at it, Ah’m gonna rustle up some help in town.”