Three Little Fools
A small buzzing sound ripped through the forest path. A small pegasus filly rapidly flapped her little wings while riding on her scooter, looking down and depressed. Two other saddened fillies, one a unicorn, the other an Earth pony, sat in a wagon hitched onto the back of the scooter.
"This stinks," the pegasus, Scootaloo said. "I can't believe those two snobs took our stuff like that!"
"Me too," Sweetie Belle the unicorn replied. "I thought checkers was all supposed to be fun and games. But now Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon won and...and..." Sweetie Belle buried her face in her little hooves. "...And now my teddy bear is gone!"
"Ah know," Apple Bloom concurred. "They took mah bow away from me. That was the last thing mah ma left me when Ah was just a baby!"
"Oooh, I've had it with those two!" Scootaloo yelled out. "First they pick on us for having blank flanks and now they take my helmet! I just wish there was some way we can get back to them once and for all!"
"Did someone say, 'once and for all?'"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders perked themselves up out of their saddened state and looked around for the source of the slightly high-pitched male voice. They looked around, not knowing there was an odd-looking biped that suddenly appeared on their path.
"Worry not, little ponies! For I have a..."
The fillies screamed as they wee headed for a collision course with the creature.
The Fool screamed a girly scream then instinctively snapped his fingers.
POP!
Scootaloo veered her scooter to a screeching halt just as the biped disappeared into bubbles before it was hit with her scooter. All three fillies looked in shock as the bubbles dissipated into oblivion.
"What...the hay...was that?" Scootaloo asked.
"Ah don't know," Apple Bloom answered. "But Ah think it stood on two legs."
"And it had a creepy smile," Sweetie Belles said, shaken. "Gosh, that was scary."
"Tell me about it. I was so scared, I think I need a change of trousers" the voice said from behind the petrified fillies. They turned their faces and met theirs with a freaky smiley face. "Can you believe the drivers they have in this pony-infested world? So reckless these days."
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
Scootaloo flapped her wings and drove off again in a panicking state. The Fool snapped his fingers and disappeared into thin air, only to POP! back in front of Scootaloo's scooter. The pegasus filly yelped then screeched her scooter to halt, hitting a pebble with her back wheels and sent the three fillies flying over The Fool's head and crash landed on top of each other.
"How do you like that? I've been in this place for less than an hour and I've already seen a few horseflies. Hohohoho-hahahaha!" The Fool chortled before he went over to the pile-up Crusaders and squatted down to their level. "Now don't tell me you're afraid of little old me?"
"Afraid of you!?" Scootaloo shot her head out from the pile of fillies sprawled over her. "You're tall, you walk on two legs and your smile is just plain creepy!"
"Now, now, there's no need to freak out over me. You see, I'm trying to help you, not to harm you." The Fool jumped backwards, did a pirouette and landed on a small rock with both heels touching. "I heard you were feeling down in the dumps, so I came to help brighten your day."
"Thanks, but no thanks," Scootaloo objected. "Our day is just too damp for you to try and brighten."
"I understand. This happens often to me too," The Fool said, his voice cracking. "I come across someone with a gloomy day themselves and they refuse to let me help them feel happy again." He lowered his hat to his smiling chest and started to form tears in the eyeholes of his mask (how did he do that?).
"All I want is to make people happy. That's my only goal in life: Make people happy and forget about their worries, their sorrows, their depression." The Crusaders' eyes started leaking tears. "But whenever I reach out my hand, all they do is slap it away and say they don't want my help. And now I feel left out in this world, cast out by a society whee they'd rather wallow in sadness than crack a smile on their face."
The Fool put his hat back on and made his staff appear out of his sleeve. "If you do not wish for my help, then I understand. I guess I'll go and see if anyone can crack a smile. So good-bye! Au revoir! Sayonara! Arrivederci!" The Fool's sad voice trailed off as he walked into the distance.
"Wait!" Apple Bloom yelled. "Come back!"
"We're really sorry for what Scootaloo said!" Sweetie Belle said. "The truth is, she's just a big chicken!"
"Hey!"
"But we really need somepony to help us! We've been picken an' stolen from today, we could really use somepony ta talk to!" Apple Bloom continued with Sweetie Belle following.
"Please, mister?? Can you help us feel happy again?? We're in really desperate need of help!" she said.
POP!
"Help!? Well, why didn't you say so!?" The Fool chortled, reappearing through bubbles, and scaring the fillies. The jester set his staff into the ground and sat cross-legged on the staff's tip. "Now then, fill me in here. Tell Uncle Fool what's been bringing down three cute little ponies like you down?"
"W-Well...if you insist," Sweetie Belle said blushing from being called "cute." "These two fillies in our class, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon have been picking on us because we don't have Cutie Marks yet. We were being called blank flanks and said we were nothing special."
"And just this mornin' we were jus' playin' checkers, mindin' our own business when those two snobs came up to us an' took our stuff!" Apple Bloom chimed in. "They took mah bow, Sweetie Belle's teddy bear and Scootaloo's helmet!"
"Yeah. We thought if we could challenge them to a game of checkers, we could get our stuff back!" Scootaloo pitched in. "But we lost to Diamond Tiara and they said they could keep our stuff for themselves and...and...now we can't ever get them back!"
The three fillies started bawling to the terrible tragedy of their stuff taken callously by the rich and snobby foals. Even The Fool was crying to this sad tale.
"Hoho-ho-ho-hooooo...Oh, what a world! What a cruel, cruel, world! Stuff getting stolen by kids these days! What is this world reduced to these days!?" The Fool sobbed out, turned away and blew his nose with a handkerchief. Then he threw his tissue down. "No! This misdeed shan't go unpunished. We must teach these ponies the harsh consequences of taking one's precious possessions! And I have a perfect plan in mind!"
The Crusaders looked up looked up to The Fool with tears still in their eyes.
"You mean you can get our stuff back?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"But of course I can! I wasn't called a visionary of the arts for nothing! And to this day, I still can't get into the Museum of Modern Art! Hohohoho-hahahaha!" The Fool jumped off his staff and gathered the Crusaders close to him. "Listen up, little ones! Here is my plan! And remember, you didn't hear it from me."
The Fool whispered in an inaudible volume to the fillies.
Whisper. Whisper. Whisper. Whisper.
"Now do you understand my plan?" The Fool asked.
"No," Scootaloo said. "All you ever did was go 'Whisper. Whisper. Whisper. Whisper.'"
"That's because it's a secret plan. Hohohoho-hahahaha!"
The Crusaders gave The Fool a deadpan stare.
"Okay, enough small talk. This is my plan."
^W^
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo waited behind the brush, dressed up is white silk sheets. Up ahead the path, they saw their two worst enemies walking down the road, gossiping and bragging, all with the three fillies' stuff hidden in their saddlebags.
"You think this is gonna work?" Apple Bloom asked.
"It'd better," Scootaloo complained. "I feel so stupid right now."
"Come on, guys, we need to keep quiet," Sweetie Belle said. "If we're gonna get our stuff back, we need to go through woth that guy's plan."
"Shh. Here they come now."
The three fillies ducked themselves in the brush as Diamond Tiara approached their hiding spot, bragging with Silver Spoon about her personal life.
"...So I said to her, 'If you mess this dress up before the big party tomorrow night, I'm gonna have daddy mail you back to your momma in a box,'" Diamond Tiara told Silver Spoon.
"I know! Derpy Hooves is, like, one feather short of a pegasus, right?"
"Yeah, totally! And she flew back out crying like a crybaby!"
"What a drama queen!"
The two Earth fillies laughed egocentrically as they approached the Crusaders' hiding spot. Then, the three sheeted fillies jumped out of the bushes and in front of the two rich snobs, making kooky "oooooh" noises in an attemot to scare them off. They only got a raised eyebrow instead.
"We are the ghosts of your guilty conscience!" Scootaloo said.
"Come here to haunt you for your misdeeds upon this town!" Sweetie Belle chimed.
"Lay down the stuff you stole from those three poor, innocent fillies, or suffer the dire consequences!" Apple Bloom finished. The three "ghosts" continued their noises as the two rich fillies exchanged one look and burst out with laughter.
"Nice try, blank flanks!" Diamond Tiara snidely remarked. "But your stuff is now mine. We won in a contest from you, fair and square."
"So take your silly Nightmare Night costumes off and go be losers somewhere else!" Silver Spoon added, ending with a chuckle.
"These are not costumes!" Apple Bloom said.
"These are all real!" Scootaloo piped in.
Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes to her victims' tenacity. "Like yawn, these charades are getting, like so boring. So why don't I take these sheets off for you so you can save yourselves the public humiliation?" With that, the pink filly tore off the costumes...
...And there was nothing underneath!
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon went wide-eyed and screamed.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHH! They really are ghosts!" Diamond Tiara screamed.
"What do we do now!?" Silver Spoon asked.
"Do what the ghosts said and throw those loser's stuff down! Quickly!"
The two fillies hatily took out the helmet, pink bow and stuffed teddy bear and bolted back to Ponyville, screaming their heads off. Meanwhile, the "ghosts" laughed hard as they wiped off the invisible washable paint off of them using the sheets they wore for effect.
"Oh, Celesta, did you see the looks on their faces!?"
"I did. It was priceless!"
"Those two finally got what they deserved!"
The three nodded in accord. "A lesson in humility!"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders burst out in laughter. Their laughter was joined in by the genius behind the plan.
"Hohoho-hahahahaha! That was brilliant! Simply marvelous acting!" The Fool popped in unannounced in front of the Crusaders with a rectangular sign behind his back. "Your acting was convincing enough, your sound effects were realistic and your finale was epic! I give your performance..." The Fool turned his sign around. "A nine!"
"A nine!?" Scootaloo yelled. "We got invisible paint all over ourselves and all we got was a nine!?"
The Fool scribbled on the sign with marker. "Fine. 9.5," he said, deadpanning behind the mask.
"Come on, Scootaloo, the points don't matter now!" Apple Bloom yelled exhilarated. "We finally got our stuff back! Ah finally got mah bow back!"
"Button!" Sweetie Belle squuezed her teddy bear, creating a squee sound. "Oh, Button, I promise I will never let you go again! Never ever ever ever ever EVER!"
"Aw yeah!" Scootaloo said with high zeal. "Now I can practice my moves on my awesome scooter!"
"Thanks, mister! Ah guess we owe ya one!" Apple Bloom told The Fool. "Is there any way we can repay ya kindly fer all o' yer help?"
"Well..."
"Apple Bloom! Where are ya, ya silly filly!?"
The Fool was interjected by the Southern drawl resounding from the other side of a small hill. The Cutie Mark Crusaders turned towards the same hill where two other voices called out to them with concern.
"Sweeite Belle! Come back home! It's not safe out here!"
"Hey, squirt! You here somewhere!?"
"Hey, it our sisters! What are they doin' out here?" Apple Bloom turned back to The Fool. "Hey, mister, would you..." The farm filly sadly trailed off as The Fool popped out of sight with colorful bubbles dissipating into thin air. All that was left was a card with an etching on the front of the stranger on it. The fillies read the name written at the bottom.
"'The Fool,' huh?" Scootaloo said. "We certainly owe him one, big time."
"Yeah. But where's he gone?" Apple Bloom asked, looking around the forest.
"Who knows? That guy was strange," Sweetie Belle said, earning a nod from the other two fillies.
"Apple Bloom?" Applejack trotted up to the fillies, with Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy all in tow. "Thank Celestia yer all right! What are y'all doin' here out in the middle of nowheres!?" the cow pony asked in great concern.
"Nothin', Applejack. We were just playin' around," Apple Bloom lied.
"Well, you three need to come with us at this instant!" Rarity yelled. "There's a revolting creature going around Ponyville and I refuse to let my little sister be out and about with that thing on the loose!"
"Revolting creature?" Sweetie Belle echoed.
"Yeah. It's this thing that stands on two legs, is about..." Rainbow Dash pointed her hoof in the air above the ground. "...this high and has this really creepy face on him. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that creature, would you girls?" The Cutie Mark Crusaders looked at them with mild panic in their eyes.
"Uhh...no?" they answered in unison.
"Well it doesn't matter now! Come on, youngsters! We've gotta get you back home and locked up safe in the house!" Applejack turned and trotted the way back home. "Fluttershy, would ya mind looking fer this creature by yerself. Ah know he might be scary, but.."
"Don't you worry about me," Fluttershy said, still mad at whoever hurt her bear friend. "I'll take care of myself."
Fluttershy took off in the direction she was headed in. The fillies followed their role models to Applejack's home, whispering amongst themselves far away from the older mares' earshot.
"Ya don't think The Fool was lyin' ta us, right?" Apple Bloom asked.
"I don't know. This seems awfully fishy to me," Sweetie Belle said.
"Hey. I just took a bath last night. I don't smell." Scootaloo snapped.
"It's a figure of speech. Jeez."
"Oh."
"So what do y'all think happened to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon after we scared 'em?" Apple Bloom asked Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. Both fillies shrugged, but they could only imagine what they might be doing in their moment of sheer terror.
^W^
"Are they still out there?"
"Like, I don't know. I'm afraid to find out!"
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon huddled up in the pink filly's bedroom closet. Their shaking backs were up against each other's. Diamond Tiara was carrying a flashlight while SIlver Spoon had a bat ready to swing at the "ghosts." Both were afraid to set one hoof outside of the door, for fear of the "ghosts" wrath.
"Look, this is what we're gonna do," Diamond Tiara whispered. "You take a peek outside and see if the coast is clear."
"Okay."
Silver Spoon stuck her head outside of the closet door. She looked around for any signs of their tormentors. To the silver filly's brief relief, there was no sign of the specters appearing in before them.
"Okay, it's clear."
The two fillies carefully and steadily trotted out of the closet. Diamond Tiara went to her bedroom door and opened it.
And before the door stood a white sheet floating above them in mid air.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
The two fillies fainted from fright. The Earth mare maid gazed downwards on the two collapsed fillies on the floor and rolled her eyes. She hung the freshly dried sheet dangling from a hanger in the filly's closet and trotted back out, not paying anymore mind to the spoiled brats sprawled onto the smooth wooden floor.
"Drama queens."
With that said, the mare closed the bedroom door.