A Soldier's Memoir

by Green Hills


I Can't Get it Off

Nopony knows where this human has come from, nor know why he is here. It has been six days since he came, and six days he has been cooped up in a room Princess Cadance has given him since he arrived. Occasionally, the silent being would come out and eat with the princess and her husband, then return to his room until the next morning. Since then, the Crystal Guards reported to have been hearing screams from his room, like the creature is in deep pain. Still, nopony knows what this truly means, or how to get him back to where he belongs. Maybe Twilight and her friends may figure out who he is and how he got here.

*****

Cries of pain, tears of fear, and blood of his brothers fall around US Navy SEAL Lucky, as he dives for cover from a whistling mortar about to hit the ground just meters from him and his eight-man squad.
“Incoming!!” The whole ground shakes and dust, fire and shrapnel rain down at such force all over the SEALs, sending one of them flying to the side of a clay wall with his leg ripped off.
“Agh!! I’m hit!”

In a flash of light, Lucky finds himself screaming while suppressing fire with his HK416. Bullets from both his men and the enemy wiz all around the small open compound they secured. The smell of the sizzling gunpowder enters his nostrils and taste buds, making the SEAL’s heart race even further; an awful but addicting feeling to him.
“Incoming!!” his right-hand man, Dragon, screams through the intensifying gunfire, but all is too late as another mortar whistles to the ground just meters between Lucky’s and Dragon’s position.

Another flash of light goes by in an instant, and Lucky along with Doc drags the torn up body of their fellow comrade screaming in pain into a small clay hut.
“Look at me, Sonny! Look at me! You’re gonna be fine! You’re gonna be fine!” Lucky straps up bandages from his first aid kit around whatever is left of Sonny's blown off leg, while Doc strips away his tactical vest, revealing several punctures in his body.
“You’re doing great, Sonny! Just keep holding out! Keep holding out kid!” Lucky shouts to comfort the young SEAL, when another explosion rocks the ground and hut like a small earthquake. Though, it barely does anything to Sonny as he still cries in pain.

Once more, another flash of bright light, and Lucky’s gloved hands are covered in blood from Sonny’s injuries mixed with dirt. More screams enters his ears from his men. The thought about it makes him want to scream and cower behind, but he can’t do that. He’s a SEAL. SEALs always get the job done no matter the cost.
“Move! Move!” Dragon screams while suppressing fire around the wall. Lucky pops out from behind a wall of the hut and fires his assault rifle, taking down several Taliban through the rising dust picked up from the thundering explosions and the advancing enemy.
“Lucky!” Dragon calls, catching Lucky’s attention. “We have to move! Airstrike will be here in ten seconds! Danger close!”
“Check! Thumper, airstrike inbound! Ten seconds, danger close!”
“Fall back, now!” The rest of the SEALs pick their feet up and race as the enemy advances further, chucking grenades. Explosions ripple the compound as the team moves back.
“Run, soldier! Run!!”

*****

Lucky slowly opens his eyes, staring out over the horizon and at the town he was told was called the Crystal Kingdom. The sun is just beginning to rise, and yet once again, the 29-year-old soldier has drifted into another hellish memory in his sleep. They’re all gone. All gone because of me. Why am I chosen to get a second chance, and not end up like them? The more Lucky thinks, the more agitated he becomes to finding answers.

It’s the sixth day since he arrived in this strange land called Equestria; a strange land filled with strange colorful talking ponies, the most strange he’s ever encountered are the crystalized ones which he has no words how to describe. Even though he has been staying at a castle, and been treated like a guest instead of a prisoner, he still has his doubts whether or not he wants to go home, and his mind slips further into that area whenever he thinks about his own brothers that he witnessed with his own two eyes perish. The multiple explosions and screams from his men dying in front of him never cease in his mind.

According to the princess of this kingdom, she said her friends are staying in the castle to help out some game inspector for the national games Lucky cannot recall. It doesn’t matter to him. All he wants is to go back home, and forget all this happened. But, his morale on focusing his main purpose slowly drifts away the longer he stays. And the longer he stays, the more he notices that each of these ponies is always happy, as if they have no clue what lies outside of their safety. It reminds the SEAL of his people; they have no clue and no intention of knowing what’s going on around the world, especially when the men and women who sworn to protect their freedom and their families against the threats he once faced head on a dozen times.

Lucky shakes the foul memories from his head, even though they still cling on like a leech, and makes his way back to his gear sitting on a crystal chair with his journal resting on the desk. After several minutes of writing, he closes up the book and leans back letting out a sigh. Done. Since his last mission about a couple weeks ago, the SEAL has been working on something to show to his family when he returns home. Although, he too starts to take doubt that it will never happen since he is stuck in this unknown world.

Several more minutes pass by, and Lucky decides to walk his way around the castle, even though it is too early in the morning and some guards might catch him. He starts strapping up with his gear, still reeking of dirt and gunpowder. Before putting on his ballistic helmet, he throws his MOLLE backpack filled with a two-day supply of ammo over his shoulders. He almost forgot how heavy it is as the thirty pound bag weighs him down like a ton of bricks stacked on his shoulders. Lucky gives himself another final check to see if everything is in place, then puts on his helmet and heads out the door. He is almost used to getting around the castle, as the princess gave him a couple tours before her friends came. So to get to his destination wouldn’t be a problem.

*****

The door knocks three times in the room where the young alicorn princess sleeps, awakening her from her slumber.
“O-oh, come in,” she calls still adjusting her dreary eyes. Who could possibly wake me up at this hour? It’s almost four in the morning. The door slowly opens, revealing to be one of the crystal guards.
“Y-Your Highness,” he says, almost stumbling on his words. “Um, the human is not in its room.” Princess Cadance suddenly shoots straight out of bed, wide awake in a matter of seconds.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s not in its room. When I went by, the door was open, and it’s not there.” Thoughts ring through the princess’ head. He could be terrorizing the town, cancel the Equestria Games, or worse, be hiding somewhere around the castle waiting to assassinate me. “Um, Your Highness?” Cadance realizes she has been staring at her guard with a look of fear longer than she anticipated, and shoves all the nonsense to the side.
“Wake up Twilight and her friends. I’ll go find him myself.”
“B-but, what if it attacks?” Cadance despises how her guards treat this human like an animal, as if they have no sense of care within their hearts and just do what they are told. She gives him a short glare before responding.
“I can protect myself. Go and wake up Twilight.”
“Y-yes, Your Highness.” The guard bows and scurries off, leaving the princess to her own thoughts. Where could he be?

Almost fifteen minutes passes, and Cadence cautiously walks through the lit up hallways of her own castle. She searched through the main hall, the dining room, and the library. Still, no avail to where the human went. I checked all those places, and he’s still nowhere found. Maybe Twilight and her friends are having more luck finding him as much as I am. Just as she is about to turn back, a small sound tickles her ear; a music box is being played. She hurries herself to the source of the sound, to the direction of the main balcony. There, to her surprise, is the human, standing with its arms crossed behind his back, the soft tune still being played. Slowly, but carefully, she makes her way to the silent being.
“I figured you’d find me here,” he says when Cadance is about two meters away nearly causing the princess' heart to jump to her throat. She picked up a hint of a southern accent, much like to Applejack’s.
“W-well, um, I heard you playing some music, and I thought… heh,” the princess nervously chuckles.
“It’s fine. Sorry if I caused a bit of chaos in your castle.”
“Wh-what? How did you know my guards are looking for you?”
“The sound of footsteps and commands is easy to detect in a large castle.”
“O-oh…” The princess again gives a nervous chuckle, then slowly proceeds to stand next to the human as the music slows down to a stop. Sitting on the balcony ledge, Cadance notices a photo and a small open music box in the shape of a heart. The human, however, continues to stare out over to the horizon.
“Um, may I ask what you are doing here?” she asks.
“I just wanted to. It’s difficult to get a view like this.” The human’s words were straight forward without any hesitation, almost causing the princess to lose herself. She slowly moves her head over to the photo, getting a good look at what seems to be eight humans, all dressed up like him and arms around each other like they are having a good time. There is some writing next to each human and on the bottom right corner of the photo, though the princess is unable to read it.
“That’s me,” the human says, pointing to himself standing two places down from the right with his arms around the two other humans with a big smile.
“You seem to having a good time,” Cadance says, carefully inspecting the other two humans standing either side of him.
“This was our first photo when we were deployed. Two years ago. Somewhere in the high mountains of Afghanistan.” Deployed? So he’s a soldier?
“S-so… you’re a soldier?” The human nods his head.
“The best of the best in my country.”

The two remain in silence, except for the calm breeze brushing through and around them.
“Y-you know, you never told us your name,” Cadance says putting up a smile. “I really don’t like calling you human, you know.”
“They called me Lucky,” he says softly.
“Lucky? Why would um, they call you that if you’re a soldier?”
“Many reasons. But the biggest one was I was able to see my son being born just before I got deployed.” He turns the music box to show the princess a photo hidden on the inside lid, a woman holding a baby. It reminds Cadance when she first saw Twilight as an infant, and she smiles when she sees the photo.
“Is this your wife?” she asks.
“Yeah. My son is now two years old. This is the only photo I can ever be connected to them.” The princess changes her expression to a frown. The thought of not seeing his family for two whole years must be unbearable for him. She would not even last a month without seeing her family. But, she senses something else bothering Lucky. A shroud of eeriness surrounds the human, putting Cadance in a state of uneasiness she has never seen before. He has suffered so much, but what is it? She remembers seeing her husband, Shining Armor, almost in such a state after returning from his duty as Captain of the Royal Guard, but she has never sensed something to a great extent like what she senses around Lucky. Loyalty. Sacrifice, a lot of it. Trauma. Loneliness. Loss. Death... so much of it. It is only what she senses.
“What happened?” she suddenly asks almost worriedly, causing Lucky to flinch a little. The two remain in silence, until Cadance realizes what she had said. “O-oh, f-forgive me! I shouldn’t have said that!” Lucky replies nothing, gathering his photo and music box, and puts them in one of his dozens of pouches.
“Um, I-I’ll leave you alone, yes?” she says nervously backing away from the soldier. “Um, l-let me know if you want anything.” Stupid of me! Why would you say that, Cadance?! That’s when Lucky raises his hand.
“Can I ask you one thing?”
“O-oh! Sure, sure. Anything.”
“Can you get me seven crosses and a guitar? Today... is an important day for my people in my country.” A shiver travels up Cadance’s spine. A feeling she guesses of what Lucky might do, but dares not to say it.
“I-I see. I’ll get them right away.” Lucky takes a deep breath, as if to calm himself down from something she again strongly senses.
“J-just take your time. I would like to start around late morning.”
“Uh, sure. Sure.”

The Crystal Princess starts trotting down the hallway, when she turns her head to see Twilight and her friends stacked up hiding behind a pillar.
“What are you doing here?!” she whispers loudly taken completely by surprise, her cheeks almost reddening up in embarrassment, not knowing how much they have heard.
“W-we were told by your guards that the human was missing. So we searched around for you,” Twilight reasons, and the rest nod their heads in agreement. Cadance remembers telling her guard to wake them up, and mentally face-hoofs for being such an idiot again.
“H-how much did you hear?”
“Not much. We heard him telling you about his wife and son.”
“It has a family?” Rainbow Dash asks standing on Twilight’s head with a baffled look on her face. Cadance, in return gives the cyan Pegasus a small grumble under her breath the moment she heard the word ‘it’. Her cheeks brighten up even further.
“D-don’t worry. Um, we promise, um, w-we won’t not tell anypony!” Fluttershy says covering most of her face with her hooves and mane.
“Okay,” Cadance says with a sigh. “We’ll be leaving in a few hours. I just need to get some stuff for him.”
“Um, mind if we ask why?” Rarity asks, sitting on top of Applejack while holding Pinkie Pie.
“It’s best if you don’t. There... are things we have never experienced the way he did.”
“Did you find out his name?” Pinkie asks with an eager smile.
“His name is Lucky. Now come. It’s best if we leave him alone for now.”
“What about our train schedule to go back home?” Twilight asks.
“You can go home if you want. I’ll just have to tell my husband about it.”
“What?!” Rainbow exclaims. “No way I’m losing my chance to see something I’ve never seen! I’m staying!” Cadance suddenly stops in her tracks, and turns to the six mares with puppy-like eyes, mostly on Rainbow and Pinkie.
"Okay, just be careful, okay?"
"Will do!" Pinkie replies with a salute, and dashes past the princess in a flash of pink. The rest quickly follow after her, finally leaving the princess by herself. Reminds me when I babysat Twilight. Except I'm babysitting a human.

*****

“Mayday! Mayday! This is Oscar Two-five! We’re hit and going down in Sector 2-1-5—!” Lucky’s ears ring from the loud explosion as the Blackhawk crashes into the ground with him and the rest of his injured squad onboard. As he opens his eyes, the only thing he sees is bodies sprawled around, some are outside.

“You have to leave me here, man! I’m done for!”
“I’m not leaving you!”
“You have to! It’s the only way!”
“No!! I made a promise to her!!” Lucky stares deeply into Dragon’s eyes, his legs trapped under the twisted metal and rubble of the burning wreckage. Gunshots start echoing from the distance as Taliban races towards the downed Blackhawk.
“I… I know you did,” Dragon stutters with blood emerging from his mouth, as he digs into one of his pouches, and pulls out a folded sheet of paper and a small bag filled with dog tags of their squad. “G-give this to her. I… I told them to give them their tags before our last mission. W-we all knew it was a suicidal mission.”
“N-no. No! I’m still not—!”
“That’s an order, Michael!” Lucky stops, staring at friend's tear-filled eyes. “Th-that’s an order. N-now, you run soldier. You run like hell.”
“Ch-check.”

*****

Lucky sits in the carriage, with Shining Armor and Princess Cadance sitting on the opposite side. The SEAL dares not take a glance at the two, for all he senses is a threatening glare from the white stallion. The smell of gunpowder trapped on his uniform keeps him occupied, while in the next carriage behind them, is the princess’ six friends. Lucky stares down at the small sack filled with dog tags of his men held firmly in his hand, and continues to do that the whole way until they reach the edge of town. Where do I go now? What will I do? They’re all gone, I have nowhere else to go. No, I’m a SEAL. We always find a way. Again, he keeps himself occupied by talking in his head. Still, it barely puts any relieve on his stress.

The carriages halt to a stop, and the door opens. Princess Cadance and Shining Armor step out first, with Lucky coming out last with the guitar case held in his left hand and his rifle strapped to his back. The SEAL takes a good look at his surroundings, a large open field as far as the eye could see, and the Crystal Kingdom just fifty meters behind. He turns to the princess.
“Crosses please?” A bag is tossed right over next to the SEAL, instead of being handed it over. Lucky takes a glance at the six ponies surrounded by the crystalized guards, all with eyes wide the moment they see the human. Somehow, the pink pony is the only one with a grin covering half of her face.

Lucky grabs the bag and walks out several meters until he stops and kneels.
“Mind if we ask what this ‘day’ your kind celebrates?”
“Ooh! Is it a party?!” Pinkie Pie calls with her usual cheerful grin. The SEAL, however, never responds as he takes out the seven crosses. He places the first one down, and hammers it with the grip of his pistol. Every strike he makes, he pauses for a second before proceeding.
“I don’t think it’s a party, Pinkie,” Twilight responds gulping audibly.

They won’t understand. How should they know if they never experienced war? I don’t blame them. Neither does she. Every strike he makes, thoughts and images shroud Lucky’s mind of seeing his brothers fall from his grasp. Screams and cries never leave his ears. As he finishes the last cross, the SEAL does his best to fight the tears begging to be released like a dam waiting to explode. Taking a deep breath, he puts his pistol back in its holster, and takes out the sack containing the seven dog tags.

*****

Twilight and her friends slowly move up to Cadance and Shining Armor as Lucky places a necklace on each cross.
“Are those necklaces?” Rarity whispers to Cadance. “They look very dull-looking.” The princess never replies, as the human places the last necklace on the cross standing in the center between the rest. He takes out a small brown book, removes his helmet, and then leans forward even further, almost placing his head on the cross.

Without any hesitation, Cadance steps up. The dark eeriness she senses becomes stronger with every step she takes. Suffering, loss, death… war. The last word sends a strong shiver down her spine. He suffered too much, even for us.
“Cadance! What are you doing?” Shining whispers loudly. Cadance turns back with a worried look on her face, catching the captain and the rest off guard.
“Give me a minute.” She turns back to Lucky, and slowly makes her way. She makes her way to the first cross, getting a glimpse of text imprinted she is unable to read on a metal tag. Just a meter away from the human, she stops when she hears sniffling emerging from him. Is he… crying?
"I'm so sorry," Lucky mutters, drawing the princess closer to him until she is right next to him. "I'm so sorry..."

A SEAL never stops. He never stops until the job is done. It's what they told us back then. They told us we're all brothers. They told us how to survive. They told us how to be precise. They told us how to put on our uniforms. I just can't get it off.

The tears never stop running out of the SEAL's eyes. Memories once again fills his head of the times he had with his squad mates, his wife with his newly born child, and the times he played his country songs while they were camping out in their operating base. He feels a wing wrap around him, and a warm body pressed against his side. Somehow, all the pain, the suffering, the anxiety of coming back home, disappears in an instant. A soft wind blows, letting the necklaces dance along and jingle like small bells.
"I'm so sorry," the princess whispers. Lucky raises his head, turning to Cadance who as if she is too about to cry. He turns back, and places his hand on her shoulder across her back. Both of them stare down at his open journal with a title written in caps, and small text below in a poetic style.
"Thank you."