Chapter 6 (Incomplete)
Fluttershy looked around. She was in the Everfree Forest. There really wasn’t anybody here – just her, Angel and nature itself. And Him or course. That was always obvious. But was He really there?
“What’s so special about me?” Fluttershy asked herself. “I’m just a yellow mare with wings. Is there more to this whole thing? I just feel empty…”
Questions flew through her mind as fast as she could ask them – questions about identity, questions about who she truly was. Was she just pretending? She had broken before during her episode with Iron Will. Was that who she truly was? Was the Fluttershy that everyone knew and loved just a mask?
“Who am I?” She wondered aloud. “Am I really me? Or am a just a masked monster?”
Fluttershy’s parents weren’t ever really the best. Her mom deserved some credit, but her father was very absent during her growing-up years. It had taken a very long time for her to break through and finally trust Silver Light for who he really was. She had just always seen Him like she had seen her own father. Absent, uncaring, unloving. Maybe? Or… yeah. Maybe.
It was doubt. It had found a tiny crack in Fluttershy’s trust and burrowed in like a worm seeking warmth. That’s really all it was – a pest.
Fluttershy stopped and turned to Angel.
“What am I supposed to do? Sit back and let this thing eat at me? I’m tired of being a pushover! What’s so hard about letting Him take over?!”
Fluttershy rarely got this loud, but this time, it wasn’t just volume. It was tears, too. Angel looked her in the eyes and glared. He pointed at the ground with his foot and tapped.
“Stand here? Why?”
Angel motioned for her to be quietly. Fluttershy looked around and stood where Angel pointed. It was right next to a massive tree, as least twice as wide as Fluttershy was tall. She looked up slowly, scaling its height with her eyes, following it up, further. She never reached the top. It just wasn’t there. As she stood, neck craned and confused, she looked back down, trying to regain her senses.
“Whaa…?”
She felt like she was looking for something that wasn’t there – because… well, because it wasn’t. Pretty simple, actually.
“…Looking for something that’s not there… That’s… familiar…”
Fluttershy had been thinking, but at this point her eyes flooded with tears again. That thought process surfaced a bunch of memories that she had tried so hard to suppress.
“…Looking for something that wasn’t there…”
A father.
Security.
Trust.
A friend.
So many things she wanted, and so badly, too. But they had all been seemingly denied to her.
Everything froze. Nothing moved, save for Fluttershy blinking and the wind rustling through the trees.
“You have a past. But you don’t have to hold onto it.”
Fluttershy heard the voice. It sounded like it was coming from a fairly long way off, and yet, so close; so clear. And familiar. She knew that voice beyond the shadow of a doubt. It had to be Him.
Fluttershy could hear Silver Light, but she couldn’t see Him – not unless she closed her eyes. She leaned against the tree and closed her eyes once more and fell into a deep, long-awaited sleep.
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