You open your eyes, the dark void in full view. You run your hands over your neck. Nothing. No blood, no lacerations, nothing. You’re sure that stupid animal got you. “ Oh, he got you alright Anon.”
You swivel around, gazing into the blackness. “Dammit, show yourself Discord.”
”As you wish…” *snap* A brief flash of light later and there before you Discord stands.
“I think you looked better as a statue.”
”Your opinion and nothing more,” Discord retorts. He stands up straight, slowly pacing around you. You can feel his eyes on you, inspecting you. Damn this guy gives you the creeps. ”You appear distraught, trouble at home?”
“Nothing I’d want to tell you.”
”Come now Anon, let’s be civil. I’ll have you know that as well as being a Lord of Chaos, I’m also a certified psychiatrist.” *snap* Another snap of his fingers and he presents his PhD. ”Sit Anon, tell me your woes.” He directs you back to a sofa, sitting in a chair himself.
“How did-?”
”Details details… Now what’s wrong?”
Laying down on the sofa, you begin to speak. You don’t know why, but you feel compelled to oblige him. ”Well where should I start?”
”The beginning tends to be a good jumping off point.” Pretentious fuck isn’t he?
“It started off with Dash…”
”Oh the illustrious Rainbow Dash, I seem to remember you had a falling out.”
“Yeah, you didn’t even tell me what happened you dick.”
”What can I say? Rainbow Dash didn’t care how you felt, so why should I?”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. Rainbow cares for me very much.”
”Sure she does…” He continues scribbling down on his notepad.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Hmmm? Oh nothing. Maybe you don’t know her as well as you should is all…”
“Whatever anyways…”Something about what he said keeps pestering you. You try and shrug it off. “Well, we eventually made up and went out to lunch.”
”Lunch? Interesting.” He’s either acting or being serious. You wish to say it’s the latter.
“We finished up and eventually Pinkie shows up.”
”Ooh, how is Pinkie Pie doing these days? She was the only one who ever really appreciated my work.”
“She’s fine, but that’s beside the point.”
”Go on then…” Discords mutters, returning to his notes.
“At this point I had started to get over my one-night stand, which is where Pinkie comes in.” You feel your anger flaring up again, clenching your fist. “She starts going off on how we are such a great couple and how she knew we would end up together, and just a bunch of other bullshit.” Discord is enthralled in your story, probably enjoying your little fit of rage. “Apparently some asshole had taken pictures of us the night before, and used them in a newspaper article.” Jimmies be a ruslin again. “I wasn’t ready for being with Dash, and now all of Ponyville thinks I’m some sort of Pony Fucker.” Well you are kind of…
”Typical, the ponies of Equestria never cared for who they hurt, as long as they get a good story.” You can’t argue with that. Maybe Discord is wiser than he appears… ”You can continue.”
“No, I think that wraps it up.”
Discord looks up from his notes, raising an eyebrow. “We both know the story isn’t over yet.” His tone severe he looks back down to his notepad, “Continue.”
He knows just how to put you in your place. “Fine.” Discord smiles from behind his notes as you oblige him. “I took a walk to cool off. I’ve never been so angry before.” He simply nods his head in approval. “I kept walking until I was certain no one would hear me and let it all out.”
>”But someone did hear you?”
“Yeah, some canine things that called themselves Diamond Dogs. They told me to leave or else. I- I slaughtered them. All of them. I cut through them like a knife through Scrib Jelly.”
”Indeed, how did that make you feel?” Discord was frantically scribbling down something on his pad. Seems he does care.
“It felt…”
You can’t bring yourself to say it. It’s just wrong. Discord senses your hesitation, “Everything you say is completely confidential. Speak freely.” His words ease your mind, allowing you to endure.
“It felt… good.” Did you really just say that? “N-no not good, amazing. What the hell is wrong with me…”
Discord speaks, not looking up from his journal. “Nothing at all, it is completely natural.” No, no that’s wrong, right?
“I just, I felt so free an- and strong. I’ve never felt that way before.” You think back on your life, before you came to Equestria. Such a coward, isolating yourself from others… Always weaker than your peers… Constrained by your flaws… Your life…
”Would you like to feel that way again?” Discord rested his notes down to his knee, the creature now eyeballing you. “I can do that you know.” He stood up, sauntering to you, cracking a simple grin. ”You just have to let me.” A rush of light clears the void. Pain returning to your body. ”I await your answer Anon!” You can feel yourself regaining consciousness, granting your escape. The light begins engulfing your body.
“Fuck off Discord.” You manage to flip him off before you awaken. Watch out, we got a badass over here.
You open your eyes, greeted by a cascade of white. A rhythm of soft beeps assuring you of your status. You move your hand to your neck, IVs protruding from your arm. A bandage is fastened around your wound, you give off a sigh. “I hate hospitals,” you groan to yourself. You gradually sit up trying to see if you had any guests. Nope, just you. Guess nopony cares after all.
You pluck the IVs out of your arm, detaching yourself from any equipment you see. The soft beeps souring into an obnoxious roar. Voices are calling you down the hall, none that you recognize though. They never came for you. The ponies you called your friends just left you. Damn you Discord. You were right after all. You unleash a blinding green light, dispersing from view.
You reappear at home, if you can call it that anymore, trickles of lightning slithering across your skin. You peel off your bandages, exposing your damaged flesh. A little blood oozes from your wound. You wipe it off, the inflamed skin giving off shots of pain. Booze would do good to help. Your bag of bits refilled, you head off to acquire your liquid happiness.
You wipe off some dog bile from your watch. 11:12? Only one bar open this time of night. The Broken Record.The very club that’s driving you to drink. Oh the irony. You step back into the bar, absorbing the erratic beat. The bartender recognizes you, planting down a shot. ”On the house.” Guess you made an impression. You gulp it down. Poison tastes more appealing than this garbage.
“Thanks,” you reply, tossing him your bag of bits. “As much as I can carry.” He nods, leaving to fill my order. You swivel in your chair, observing the place.
These ponies make you sick. Not a few hours earlier they were laughing at you, judging your every move. Now they’re committing the very sins you were tagged with. Assholes. Suddenly you feel… creeped out. Almost like you’re being watched. You can feel someone’s eyes on you. Waiting for you to do something. Not this time douches. You head to the bathroom, checking to see if anyone follows. They are.
You enter, waiting by the door for them to follow. An elderly stallion enters the room. He quickly gives you a curious look-see and goes about his business. Not him alright, he doesn’t seem the type. He leaves about a minute later. Just when you’re about to give up, the prey arrives. A colt, sporting a brown mane and a camera around his neck, sneaks in. Gotcha.
You pick him up by his neck, pinning him against the wall. His little wings are no match for you. “Well well well, what have we here?” You rip off the camera, flipping through the various pictures. Lame, lame, cheesy, cute… How many pictures does this kid take? Aha! You find what you were looking for. A collection of pictures of you with Dash. Drinking, dancing, kissing, everything. He even had a few pictures of you both entering your house. The balls on this kid.
You force the camera into his face. “You see this shit! He promptly nods his head, his fear quite evident. “You know what this did to me?!” He shakes his head, tears forming in his eyes. “You ruined my life you little fuck!” You tighten your grip, making him gasp for air. He tries to speak, the lack of air stopping him. “You want to say something now?”
You loosen your grip a bit, air filling his lungs. ”I’m sorry,” his voice just a hum.
You release your grip, making him collapse to the floor. ”What’s your name kid?”
”Featherweight.” You can barely hear him, probably spends his time with Fluttershy.
“Have you ever heard of a swirly?” He shakes his head, fear returning. You give him a menacing grin. Oh what plans you have for him. You grab him by his mane, his wings still not strong enough to get away. A rancid smell reaches your nostrils, causing you to lurch. “I guess there’s a first time for everything.”
You kick open the stall door, revolted by the sight. That elderly guy sure let it loose in here. The toilet was splattered with the most pungent combination of diarrhea and piss you can imagine. He should probably lay off the Zap Apple Jam. Featherweight is kicking and screaming as hard as he can, but to no avail. Some say, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. You say, an eye for an eye makes the other guy think twice before fucking with you. You close the door, a new task at hand.
It’s been a good ten minutes, a small price to pay for the pain he’s caused. You exit the stall, leaving a whimpering Featherweight to his pain. His camera is still in your hands, what to do… You drop it, slamming your foot down upon it, pieces scattering across the floor. He’s learned a valuable lesson you think to yourself. He knows not to fuck with you.
Back at the bar, you wave over the bartender. ”You got my stuff?” Another nod and he hands over a few crates of various beverages. “Pleasure doing business with you.” You pick up the crate, heading to the exit. “Oh I forgot,” you say turning back to the bartender. “I think someone had an accident in the bathroom. It didn’t look very good.”
”I’ll have the janitor take a look after we close shop.” Perfect. You enjoy your victory, working your way back home.
Drinks scatter across the floor, you blundering after them. Your sorrow is unquenchable. You place a crate in the fridge, beer still in hand. Raising your beer in the air you shout. “A toast, to Discord! The wisest asshole in Equestria.” You bring your lips to the bottle, suckling at its teet. Sweet alcohol, why do you hurt so good? Drunkenness taking you and you finally collapse, falling asleep.
There were no dreams of Discord that night. He got his point across. Ponyville is full of dicks. *knock knock knock* Who’s knocking at… what time is it? 11:00? Fuck. “Hal be ghrjt mnfe.”
”Anon! It’s me Twilight.” Fucking ponies at 11:00 in the morning. Unacceptable. You levitate yourself up, making your way to the door. The door moves its handle around, trying to piss you off. Fuck it; you magic the door off its hinges, laying it in front of you. Twilight was joined by the rest of her little group. You clear your throat, putting on your cool face as you lean against the door frame.
“Hello ladies.” The mane 6 stand at your door expressionless. You guess they can’t take a hint. “Why don’t you come in,” motioning them inside? They hesitantly enter, displeased at the aftermath of last night’s solo party. “Can I offer any of you a drink?”
“Anon, we need to talk.”
“Aren’t we talking right now? If not then I’m drunker than I think, amiright Dash? She doesn’t respond, instead throwing away a few leftover bottles. “Well fuck you too then.” You’d rather not have some ponies waste your time.
”Anon,” Rarity speaks up, “that is no way to speak to a lady.” Who the hell does she think she is? You serious the fuck up.
“If you’re just going to give me an etiquette lesson, then I must ask that you kindly get the fuck out. My time is too precious to be wasted by common stuck-up trash” Rarity quickly learns her place, unable to retort to my snide comment. You turn to Twilight. “What do you guys want?
>”You’re out of control Anon. We heard about what happened at The Broken Record last night.” You think back, remembering Featherweight and his little ‘accident,’ struggling to contain your laughter.
“It really is sad, I don’t know what that guy was thinking, people use those stalls for god’s sake.”
”You know that’s not what I meant. I’m talking about Featherweight! He’s a wreck!”
“Meh, the kid had it coming. Better me than someone else.”
”It doesn’t matter if he had it coming, you’re behavior lately is inexcusable. First the Diamond Dogs, then the hospital, now this? You’ve been getting worse Anon.”
“Worse huh?” She has no idea… “I think not. I’m my own man now. Anon doesn’t have to be bogged down by others anymore.”
”Anon, please, just listen to yourself. You’ve become a serious problem, but we can help you.” Problem? You’re not a problem. It’s them, all them.
“Maybe I’m not the problem. You never thought of that did you? With all your knowledge you never considered YOU are the problem! You and the rest of Ponyville! Twilight is stunned, and, oh boy are you pissed. “Hell, maybe all of Equestria is the god damn problem! He was always right. He opened my eyes to the truth!”
”Anon what are you talking about?” She doesn’t know, she can’t know, maybe…
“What am I talking about? I’ll show you what I’m talking about!” You thrust your hand upon her head, your memories flowing into hers. Images flash before her eyes, taking in years of experience in seconds. She sees your entire life, your childhood, school, job, all the way up until this moment. Your emotions and feelings, everything. Twilight heaves for air, the event too much for her to take. You remove your hand, calming yourself down. “Now you know Twilight.” You grab another beer out of the fridge, chugging it down, the cool liquid dampening your flame. “So… Happy now?
Twilight looks at you with concern, finally coming around. “How long have-“
“Not long, just every now and then. He doesn’t have a set schedule you know.”
”What in the hay is he talking about Twilight,” Applejack questions. You’d be just as confused if you were them.
”Discord… He’s been talking to Discord…”
Pinkie Pie perks up, “I thought we turned him to stone?”
”We did Pinkie, it doesn’t make sense…”
“What fun is there in making sense?” you mock them, borrowing Discord’s signature tone.
”We must tell the princess.” Fluttershy’s voice firmer than usual. ”She’ll know what to do.”
Rainbow trots next to you, here eyes baring holes in your skin. ”Why didn’t you tell me Anon? I could have helped!” Discord’s words still ring in your ears. ‘Rainbow never cared how you felt…’ But here she is, wanting to help you. Was it just a lie? Twilight follows Rainbow, both now behind you.
”Anon, let us help you. Celestia can fix this, and we can put all of this behind us. You just have to let us.”
You sit down next to the door, observing Ponyville. These are the people who suckered you in, only to make your life hell. But these people are your family now. They’re just people, like you. They make mistakes. You have to try, if not for them, then for your friends. “Do you really think she could help?”
”Yes. I’m sure of it.”
Rainbow Dash walks up next to you, placing her head on shoulder. ”Please Anon.”
The rest of the mane 6 follow suit, praying you will listen to reason. You turn you head, giving Rainbow a quick peck on her snout. “Ok.”
You pack up your things, getting ready for your second trip to Canterlot. Donning your initial clothes, you feel like you’re taking a trip to the past. You meet up with the rest of the Mane 6 at the train station. “Everything ready?”
”Yes, Spike has already informed the princess of our current situation.”
“And?”
”You can guess what she said.” Ain’t that a fact? You and the mane 6 board the train, departing for Canterlot.
“How long until we get there?” You’re anxious to get this mess over with.
“About 3 hours, it isn’t as fast as the chariot, but we needed to leave as soon as possible.”
”I still don’t see why I couldn’t just fly him there,” Rainbow says. ”This mess would’ve been settled by now.”
”We don’t want to split up, that’s what got us into trouble before, remember?”
”Still would’ve been faster…” Dash mutters.
“It’s alright Dash, we’ll get there soon.” You try and reassure her, this is your problem, and you need to make it right. “Now I can relax and take a nice-“
”No sleeping Anon.”
“W-why? It’s a three hour trip!”
”If you haven’t noticed, Discord has only spoken to you while you sleep. If he knows what we’re up to…
“I get it, don’t worry. Spoil sport…” Calm down Anon. Don’t rush this, not now.
Three dull hours later you and the mane 6 finally reach Canterlot, wasting no time to reach the castle. The streets are barren, likely by royal decree. The situation really must be dire. You make it to the courtyard, this place feels slightly nostalgic. It feels like only yesterday you first stepped-
“Anoooon.” They’re heeeere. Your body freezes, unable to move despite your best efforts. No, this can’t be happening. Quick Anon, think.
“Fluttershy get the princess.”
”Anon, you have to come with us.”
“I- can’t,” you grunt, even your magic unable to move your limbs. You begin to lose control of your legs, slowly walking down an all too familiar path. “Fluttershy, get the princess. Everyone else, fucking help me!”
Discord continues to beckon you… ”Cooome Anon. Don’t be afraid.”
“Hurry!” Fluttershy runs off, leaving the others to deal with you.
Applejack brings out her lasso, wrapping up your legs. ”We’ll hold you back Anon.” Not well enough, you think to yourself as a heat arises down below. The rope ignites in a blaze, freeing your legs once again. ”What in tarnation? Get him down!”
You’re already back on your feet, another step closer to Discord. Dash uses her speed to knock you back down, Pinkie Pie’s party cannon keeping you planted on the floor. You lose complete control, your body merely a puppet.
Pinkie lets out another blast at you. Your body is ready. You turn the blast back onto Pinkie herself, who shields herself with the cannon. Her only weapon now defunct, you sprint towards the statue. Rainbow Dash and Applejack come in for another strike. Rarity and Twilight firing several flavors of lightning. Work on your barriers Twilight said. Work on your barriers Anon did. A green barrier knocks back Rainbow and Applejack, barely absorbing the unicorns’ magic. ”Anon stop!” Celestia booms from above.
You know it’s too late, you’re far too close. I’m sorry my friends. I was weak… Placing your hands upon the statue, the deed is done. Your built up chaos flows into the statue, shattering the stone prison. Without a moment to spare, discord bursts forth from the statue, his laugh silencing all of Equestria. “Now, who’s ready for some chaos?”