Shit, we called it for 7 last night and now I'm gonna be late. I hope Cynder doesn't think I'm standing her up... we didn't exactly part on the best of terms.
As I wade my way through the snow of the front path, I see strange paw prints etched into its white canvas, spackled in blood red. They lead in an all too straight line towards the house where a dead raccoon lies stiff below the window. The thing must've frozen or starved to death... although it's bloody mangled fur would denote a much more gruesome death. But with more important things on my mind than raccoon murder mysteries, I leave it and make a mental note to deal with the body as soon as I get back.
If I was thinking of walking before, I could forget it. The falling snow of earlier had turned to a slushy rain which slaps heavily against the white covered pavement. Shivers run up my spine as the cold slush bleeds through my leather gloves and down the back of my hoodless windbreaker. I consider canceling, but afraid it might ruin my chances with her, I play it safe and text her if we're still on. A prompt "yeah, I'm here already, U?" tells me we're definitely on and I'm definitely late.
"So sorry :/ Weather probs. Be there in 10". That should give me enough time if I catch a ride. I walk to the curb and hail a taxi, only to get splashed at with black sleet as the cab speeds by. Luckily, I jump back in time and only my shoes get hit.
I'm more careful the next time, stepping back from the street as I signal. The driver pulls over and I tug open the door, thankfully taking a seat. "34th and N," I tell him as he eyes me, no doubt upset about his now-wet passenger side. He nods and takes off at a speed a little less than safe for the weather, but I'm late, so I don't mind.
I slip my phone from my pocket and pull up a picture I found on Cynder's Facebook. There's an injured kitten in her arms, Cynder feeding it through a little bottle. She looks so beautiful and innocent... could I really just leave her after I got what I wanted? Would I be able to hurt her like I've done to so many already, knowing that those beautiful eyes would be filled with tears?
The cab driver looks over, interrupting my thoughts, "Good luck on ya date, kid. A girl like that, you don't let go easy, ya hear?" There's a pain in his thick New Yawk accent that tells me he's been there before.
"But how-?" I begin to ask, wondering how he knows before he cuts me off, pointing at the coffee house."'cause she's right there." He chuckles as he rips the receipt from the meter, "Total's $12.50."
Cynder smiles at me as I walk in, then buries her face into her cocoa. I'm still trying to strike the cabbie's advice from my thoughts as I sit across from her. "Hey, sorry I'm-" I look at the clock above the counter "-15 minutes late. I forgot to take the weather into account."
If the wait bothered her at all, she doesn't show it. "No, it's fine. I had plenty to do here," she pats her bag, a spiral notebook visibly jutting from the top. Then she sighs, looking down at table, "and besides, I'm the one that should be apologizing," her cheeks flush. "No, seriously, I'm so very sorry about last night."
"No," I sooth, placing my hand on top of hers, "it was my fault, pushing you to do something you didn't want to." What am I doing? I'm getting nowhere but mushville with her, why am I still trying? It'll take a miracle to get her into bed anytime tonight.
"R-r-really?" She stutters, blushing an even deeper red from the touch, "y-y-you're not mad?"
"Not at all."
"Oh, I was so worried-" she bites her lip unsure whether to continue. "-well... It's just..." She looks up from the table, her soft blue eyes locking with mine. My god, they're so perfect... like an angel cried a pair of topaz tears that crystallized into beautiful sapphire spheres.
I should write that one down.
But when I blink they're gone and she's looking back down at the table "... no... sorry... nevermind." She withdraws her hand and hides back into her drink.
I wait for her to resurface, which is quite a while. When she puts down the drink, still just as full as before, I can finally start. "What is it, Cynder?" I try to find her eyes again, but she's only looking down. "Don't worry, you can tell me."
She sighs, still looking at the table, "it's just... you're the first person I've ever really... gone out with..." Avoiding my eyes, she plays with the napkin under her cocoa, her tiny fingers folding and unfolding the cloth.
"Really?" I ask in genuine interest. How is she doing this?! Why do I care so much about her? I'm not supposed to have feelings for anyone anymore. I'm not gonna go through what I did with Crystal again. Yet... I can't just let her go.
"That's hard to believe. A beautiful, kind girl like you, never asked out?"
She stares into the distance and sighs, "no... I was asked, I just couldn't say yes." She absent mindedly takes a sip from her mug. "See, I'm very... shy." (No kidding) "My last name is Skyline" she continues, "but in high school they would call me ... Shyline." She says the nickname with a sad tone in her voice that tells me the mocking didn't help anything.
"Aww, it was really that bad?"
"Yeah... in fact, I was almost prom queen... but I gave it to another girl because all the boys were asking me to go with them... And I would..." Her voice drops to a whispered squeak "I would run away crying." She sniffles, her eyes beginning to water.
As many girls as I've thoughtlessly made cry over the past month, seeing Cynder cry feels different. It feels horrible, like my heart is being stabbed with each suppressed sob... repeatedly. She's actually making me care, and I almost hate her for it. "But that's over, see," I lift her chin just a bit, and finally our eyes meet again. "You're still here. We're on a date and you're not running away."
She shies away from my gaze, but the tears stop. "You're right," she sniffles, "oh, thank you Drake." Her frown cracks into the tiniest smile and she looks back up.
Her mascara has run a little, but that strangely makes her eyes even more beautiful. I smile back and point to the front counter, "I'm gonna go pick up a drink. Don't run anywhere when I'm gone, ok?"
The joke earns a small giggle, "I won't."
"Promise?"
"Stop it, Drake," she blushes, "I promise. Just... just go get your drink." The smile fades from her face and she loses herself in her cocoa again.
As I order my drink, I look back at her. Her cheeks are stilled flushed, probably because I went a little too far. I keep forgetting how sensitive she is and that I actually care. Not that I want to care, but the fact remains that I do.
The cashier hands me my latte and change and I head back to table. When I return, Cynder looks up, remembering something. "Oh, right! I talked with Rain today," she says excitedly.
"Mhmm?" I murmur, sipping my latte.
"She's one of the heads at the animal shelter and she says she would be delighted to have you on board."
The shelter... I had almost forgotten. I was free most of the day, and to be honest I could use the extra cash, especially with a pony to feed at home. Just today's shopping for her had costed more than I could comfortably afford, and these $6 lattes didn't help either. I almost can taste the 25 cents roll down my throat each time I swallow a gulp of the warm caramel coffee. "Sounds great!" I say, trying and failing to match her level of excitement. "A few questions though. First, when would I start?"
"Tomorrow at 2," she takes out her phone and pulling up something. "Here's the address, and everything." She hits send on her phone and waits.
Not a second later, my phone buzzes on the table and I pick it up. As I look over the message, I can't help but realize she was right, the pay was good. "What type of work is it?" I ask, intrigued.
A look of concern crosses her face as she remembers. "Well recently, there've been a few cases of..." her voice drops to a whisper, "rabid animals coming in from the street." She shudders.
I take another sip of the latte, "Whadaya mean?"
"It's hard to explain," she says blushing, "but they... they just walk in. The worst part is, they even aren't afraid of-" she stops herself mid-sentence, staring off into the distance, lost in memory.
She seems to be shaken up from whatever it was that happened... I hope I'm not getting myself into too much trouble with this job. Then again... she seems fine now, so it couldn't have been that bad. And the money is really good.
"I'm sure I can handle it though," I say breaking the silence, "I've dealt with animals before."
She draws herself from the flashback with a shiver. "Oh, um, really? What kind?"
"Well I used to have a retriever named Skip"
This opens a long conversation about all the pets she ever had, including Squishy the goldfish, Charlie the hamster, and Pavel the iguana. She's like an entirely different person as she talks about her animals, not shying away at all. Each pet she tells about, like a child to her.
"And then there's the animals at the shelter," she continues, "who I treat as if they were my own. Oh, Especially Sammy, our resident squirrel, he's so adorable sometimes. You know last week he-"
She's kinda rambling, but I don't mind. In fact, I wish it could go on forever. She looks so cute, all excited and bubbly. And the way she smiles at the tiniest detail, it's all just so adorably beautiful.
"-But enough about my pets. How about yours? Where's Skip now?"
I should've known she was going to ask that, yet somehow I didn't prepare an answer. "He's um..." I bow my head, "he's no longer with us." The white lie surprises me as it slip off my tongue. That's actually not a total lie.
"Oh..." Her smile fades, replaced with a look of sorrow "I'm so sorry."
I sigh, "he's in a better place now." Now that one isn't true. The best place he could be is with me, curled up here on my lap. By now he's probably too big to even fit... the thought almost brings a tear to my eye before I realize where I am.
"I'm sure he misses you too." She says comfortingly.
I go to hide my tears in my latte, but I find it's been finished. Instead I just swallow the pain. "So," I say, relieved when my voice doesn't crack, "This was really nice."
Cynder blushes, "I really enjoyed it too, and..." she pause and takes a deep breath, markedly anxious over the next words "...and I... I feel like I owe you some time at your place... from last time."
What?! Is she really so naive? She doesn't realizes what inviting someone over after a date means...
But here's my chance. But I don't want to take advantage of her. But she's hot. But.... she's so innocent. But..... but... she's so hot.
Screw it (take a second to appreciate the pun), hot always wins... "Are you sure?" ...except when it doesn't. "I mean, I know you said you wanted to try to be more outgoing, but... I don't want you pushing yourself." The words come from a completely different place than my brain, and are not what I want to say
.
Why? WHY? Why would I try to scare her away like that. Because I care? WHY DO I CARE?! This is so messed up. I'm not supposed to care. Love is stupid and only ends in pain. I had my chance, and I f*****g blew it.
At least I know how to keep my internal rage... well... internal, otherwise Cynder would probably be crying or something.
She thinks it over for almost a full minute when she finally says, "you're right... I don't know if I'm ready yet. thank you so much for understanding, Drake."
...F**k.
"You're very welcome," I manage, keeping my anger to myself. That's who I was angry at either way. "So tomorrow at the shelter?"
She nods smiling, lifting her bag over her shoulder. "Yeah, two o' clock," she says brushing the hair from her face, "see you then."
We both head for exit, awkwardly silent because we've already said our good byes. The weather has calmed outside, but it's still chilly and the ground is slushy. I hold the door for her, and she thanks me squeakily under her breath, turns to wave, and hurries off. I watch her walk down half the block and sigh. Those hips are so gorgeous... and they could've been under me tonight if I wasn't such an idiot. How dumb could I be... she f*****g offered to come over and I turned her down. She rounds the corner, and I finally let my anger out, cursing aloud and turning the heads of some bypassers. I take out my headphones and put on some music, hoping it'll calm me down.
I shuffle to the curb and hail a cab, just wanting to get home to Fluttershy and forget about this all. With my music turned up loud, I get into the back of the taxi, too oblivious to hear my name being called from down the block. "Drake! Drake! Wait!!"
"12th and L" I tell the driver. He's about to pull out when I see her. "No, wait! stop the cab!"
The driver stops short, cursing under his breath, "the meters running, kid."
Cynder slows beside the cab and I roll down the window. She's winded from trying to catch up. "I-" she takes a second to find her breath, "I changed my mind."
"Is she in 'r out?" The cabby says impatiently. I look at Cynder who timidly opens the door to the cab and gets in beside me. "Still 12th and L?" he asks edgily. I nod and he speeds off, still grumbling about damn kids who can't make up their mind.
A second chance? Watch me screw this one up too... "Why the sudden change of mind?"
She looks her self over in the rear view mirror, blushing when she sees how messy her hair has gotten from her run. Brushing it to the side, she fixes her bangs, the pink strands beautifully accenting the blue of her eyes. When she realizes I've asked her a question, she blushes an even deeper red. "Oh, um...well... its just that you've been so nice and understanding... and you're going to be helping out at the shelter too... it's the least I could do to keep my word."
Well, at least I haven't scared her away yet. "Thanks Cynder, it really means a lot that you would do this for me."
"N-no problem" she says, stuttering a little.
Listen to her, she's so innocent. You can't do this to her. Just take her home, have a nice talk, maybe play a game or two, but no fooling around.
Are you kidding me?! Have you seen her? She's sitting right there, look at her, all perfect and beautiful and so easy on the eyes. How could I not fool around?
She's noticeably shaking a little, perhaps from the cold. So I offer her my jacket "Here, take this. You look chilly."
"Oh, n-no thanks" she says, shivering a bit.
"Are you sure? You're shivering."
She blushes, "I'm- I'm... I'm not shivering because I'm cold. Its because I'm... I'm... nervous." She looks down at the last the word, embarrassed. "Maybe I should go."
Those were not the words I was hoping to hear. "No no, please don't go. Everything is going to be fine. It's just a little-"
"12th and L," the cabbie interrupts me, "meter comes to $16.25."
I fish into my wallet pulling out the cash, noticing that this is getting quite expensive. But I pay the driver and we both step out from the cab, Cynder a bit more reluctantly. "See, we're already here either way," the words form a cloud of frozen vapor as they leave my mouth, "and it's cold out."
Cynder looks back at the street where the cab has already left and sighs, "I- I don't know... I didn't think it would be this difficult..." A tear begins to roll down her soft cheek and she turns to hide her face.
I stand there, unsure what to say. "If you want... I could hail a taxi... pay for your ride home." There's a pause when she doesn't respond, just staring off into the cloudy sky.
For a whole minute she's silent, and the cold starts getting to me. "Just come inside and warm up. I make a mean pastrami sandwich if you're hungry."
"I'm... I'm a vegetarian," she says, finally breaking her silence.
I should've known, "I also make a mean... salad?" The joke receives a giggle, followed by a cough as she fights away her tears.
She grants me a tiny smile, "salad sounds nice... and it is getting cold out..." She thinks it over for what feels like ten minutes until finally she agrees.
Relieved, I start walking towards the house, motioning for her to follow, "Come on, it's this one right here," We walk up the path to the front door and I place my key in the lock. I'm about to turn the knob when I realize two things; First, the raccoon that was very dead before is now very gone. I look around to make sure it wasn't just pushed by the wind or something, but no, it's just plain gone. That's strange... where could it have moved to? Not much has changed though, and there's still much more important things than raccoon murder mysteries, namely Fluttershy.
Something tells me I shouldn't let Cynder see the pony. Aside from the fact that it could completely ruin my chances of sleeping with her tonight, Fluttershy wasn't supposed to exist. She was a TV show animation... and something this strange should definitely be kept a secret. You know, government experimentation and all. Not that anyone would believe Cynder even if she told them, but it's better to air on the safe side.
"Is everything ok?"Cynder asks, drawing me back from my thoughts.
"Um..." shit, come on, think! "the key won't turn," I lie quickly. "Don't worry, it happens all the time when it's cold out, something about the tumblers expanding. I'll go around back and unlock it, you just wait here a minute."
She seems to buy the lie, which was pretty impressive (if I do day so myself), and I walk around the house to the back entrance. Letting myself in, I call out for Fluttershy, "Felicity? Here girl." The pitter-patter of small hooves echoes through the house as she turns the corner, greeting me with a joy filled squee. "Awww, come here little filly. Did you miss me?" She nods, closing her eyes in content as I scratch behind her ears. She nuzzles my hand back, her warm fur cozy against my cold hand. A small part of me wishes I could just stay here with Fluttershy, but that would be terrible, to leave Cynder in the cold. I scoop up the filly in my arms and carry her to the den where I place her gently on the couch. She looks at me inquisitively and whimpers softly.
"I'm so sorry Felicity, but I need u to stay in here a little bit. I have company and you can't be seen, ok? So try to keep quite." She seems to understand what I said, but she complains, jumping off the couch as I turn to leave, hugging my leg. "I'll be back soon, I promise." I have to pry her from my leg and put her on the couch again. I feel terribly guilty as I shut the door behind me, her feeble whimpers so helpless through the wall.
With guilt still weighing down my conscience, I rush to open the door for Cynder, thankful when she's still there. At first she doesn't notice I've opened the door, staring off into the trees across the street where two squirrels play. She turns only once they've disappeared behind the trunk, jumping a bit in surprise, "oh. I didn't see you came back. I was beginning to worry..."
I can't think of any good lie so I just supply a generic "sorry" which she accepts without question.
She walks in timidly, head down as she enters, cheeks flushed. I want to ask her if the floor looks nice, but I'm afraid it'll just offend her, so I think of another way to break the silence. "So... How do you like it?"
She looks up, taking in the living room. "It's... nice. I love the carpeting, but... why is there only one chair?" She asks the question almost inaudibly, avoiding eye contact. God, she's shy.
Shit... I forgot about my whole house layout thing. She's is the first girl I've ever taken home who I didn't bring straight to the bedroom. "Well... see, I live alone and don't have company much, so there's no need for any other chairs."
"The place is really beautiful though," she says quickly, "I didn't mean to make fun of it or anything..."
I'm surprised she bought that. Then again, she's bought everything I've said, so I shouldn't really be surprised. "No, it's fine. I'll bring in the chair from the porch. You can leave your coat on the rack hanging in front and help yourself to anything in the fridge if you're hungry."
She removes her coat, revealing a jean jacket over a mid-cut ribbony soft pink top. The jacket matches her tight boot cut jeans which cover her (you guessed it) cowgirl style boots. As I step out to get the chair, I picture how I would go about removing the cute outfit.
I return to find her in the kitchen, fixing her hair in the microwave reflection, blushing when she notices me. "This room is really nice too," she says with a hint of surprise, "how did you find such a beautiful place?"
I put down the chair and go into the fridge, fetching a head of lettuce for the salad I had promised her. The truth was, I had bought the house together with Crystal. She had rich parents and they had given her cash that paid for most our flat. The house was under both of our names but when she left, I kind of took it over. Hey, it's a free house, I'm not gonna complain. I paid plenty for it in heartache either way... but I didn't want to tell Cynder about Crystal. Sympathy was gonna get me no where with her, so I tell her another lie instead. "I inherited the place from my grandparents when they moved to Florida." It's the same lie I tell everyone who asks about my house, and it usually does the trick.
I throw a pizza in the toaster and fix her the salad how I usually make it, chatting with her about vegetarianism as I cut the lettuce and dice some apples. "Well here it is" I say after adding the dried cranberries. "Dressing?"
"Yes please." She says, content with how the salad looks. Some maple syrup, a bit of mayo and a touch of sweet red wine later, I drizzle the glaze over her salad. "It's all yours."
She takes a tentative bite, possibly because of the wine, then smiles. "It's tastes so sweet," she says happily, taking another bite. "Thank you so much."
"You're welcome," I say fetching my pizza from the toaster oven. At least that's one thing I haven't screwed up (besides Cynder. It's a pun.... I know... it's terrible). But no matter how good my salad is, I'll never get her to bed sober, she's way too shy. a few drinks should loosen her up though, like that first time we met, so I give it a shot. "You know, now that the wine's out, how about a glass?"
She blushes a little, "I don't usually drink... but I guess I'll take a little bit."
I fill two wine glasses to about three quarters and hand her one, taking a sip of the other. Pizza and wine, not the best of combinations but as long as it gets her to drink.
She presses the glass to her lips, nursing it slowly- so slow I'm not sure if she's even drinking- but when she settles the cup I can tell she had at least a little. It looks like we're going to be here while to get that wine finished.
We talk over dinner, mostly about her courses and the professors she likes and doesn't like. Apparently I made too much salad, because it's only about half finished and she's just picking at the cranberries. Soon enough though, Cynder's wine glass is all but empty and her words are starting to sound the tiniest bit slurred.
There's a lull in the conversation and she gets up. "Escuse me, wwhere would I findyur bathroom?" She says tipsily, holding the chair for balance as the room moves around her
One glass and she's already glazed? Not much in the way of tolerance, but that's a good thing for me. "It's just around the corner on the left, you can't miss it."
She puts her hand to her temple, clenching her eyes shut and concentrating. When she opens them, she seems to be more controlled, "thanks, I'll just be a minute."
Her hips sway hypnotically as she walks off... I can't help but stare. The trance isn't broken until she turns the corner, and I let out a low whistle. You don't see pure grace and beauty like that every day. I rush to a mirror and straighten up to make my move, popping a breath mint. She's half drunk, this should be easy, just tell her what you think, lean in, and-
A piercing shriek fills the house... but not the type when a girl sees a mouse... no... this was the type of shriek you would hear when a girl finds out Justin Bieber just followed her on twitter.
Shit... I had forgotten the bathroom was right across from-
"Oh my god! She's adorable!!!"
Cynder's voice echoes from the den, confirming my fears. "Drake? Why didn't you tell me about her!?"