It was 1:00 in the afternoon, and Rarity was fast asleep in bed, having ignored Cassandra's advice about slowing down on tequila shooters from the night before. She was dreaming about Cassandra, when from the kitchen she smelled something almost as delicious. She got out of bed and hurried downstairs. In the kitchen she saw Sweetie Belle furiously working at the countertop with all sorts of fancy foods and cooking tools.
"Sweetie Belle, it smells just marvelous in here!" she remarked, eyeing up the succulent spread of quiches, fritatas, omelettes, jams, and all manner of professionally-cooked breakfast foods.
"I'll have ya know Sweetie Belle cooked this here breakfast all by herself, donhtcha know?" said Rarity's mom
"Cassandra taught me that it's good manners to prepare a meal for your hostess." said Sweetie Belle.
"But last time you cooked, you burnt everything"
"She gave me cooking lessons too."
"Yah so we're dumpin' Sweetie Belle here fer a week" said Rarity's dad, "hope ya don't have any plans."
"I was going to wash my clothes, clean my room, and hunt for gems."
"Oh! I'll help you with your chores!" said Sweetie Belle enthusiastically.
"Wonderful!" said Rarity, "we are going to have such a great week together."
"Aw, it's so sweet to see sisters getting along" said Cassandra.
***** Half an hour later*****
"Darling sister, you've gone and spit your bit" said Rarity condescendingly, "Cassandra was winking at me."
"Horseapples," replied Sweetie Belle, "colts and fillies alike are lined up round the block to get some of Sweetie Belle's sweet sweet white ass."
"Such an uncouth tongue, Cassandra would never let it in her mouth. Why don't you try for somepony in your own league, like Snips or Snails?"
"Fuck you! Cassandra's not interested in an old hag like you!"
"That doesn't even make sense! Cassandra's older than me!"
"Well, then...!" Sweetie Belle stammered, struggling to find a comeback, "then...I'm going outside!"
"Good!"
"And if I get hurt, you'll be the legally liable guardian!"
"Wait, what?"
*****
"Hey Sweetie Belle, why th' long face?" said Applebloom
"I had a fight with my sister." lamented Sweetie Belle
"Ya mean Rarity? Big Mac told me she's a really good floral Hawaiian necklace."
"Hey, I have an idea. Can I borrow Applejack as my big sister for a day? It'll help me put Rarity in perspective."
"A day? Why dontcha take her ferever?" suggested Applebloom
Sweetie Belle replied firmly, "One. Day."
"Howdy there Sweetie Belle, wanna help us crush th' grapes?" said Applejack
"Sure!" said Sweetie Belle, "if it's wine, can I have some? Uh, Rarity said it was ok."
"Honestly ah don't know what it is," said Applejack, "ah label it as grape juice, but about half of'em are fermented and ah haven't th' faintest of which. Oh well, life is full o' mysteries."
They spent the rest of the day stomping grapes and imprisoning sentient sheep. That night they polished off several bottles of the mystery grape juice
"I ffffeeellll happY" slurred Sweetie Belle, "thish is the besht grapejuice EVER!!!"
"shhhhhhhh, it ain't wine ok? It's like Schrodinger's cat- whoops!" said Applejack as she tumbled over, "ah AM a real clumsy pony" she started laughing uncontrollably
"My sssister has a cat. Rarity's cat loves Casssandra, and Cassandra loves Rarity's pussy. Waitwait, I'm not supposed to use bad words like that."
"Y-you sillllly filly, Schrodinger's cat ain't a real cat. It's like it's like, we dunno if this is wine er grape juice, so we're both drunk an' lucid."
"I'm preeeeeeeeeetty sure this is grapejuice" said Sweetie Belle, "Appablue, what's your vote?" Applebloom was sitting off to the side, lost deep in thought,
"Y'know, ah've been thinkin' about our crusadin', an' how we always fail at whatever we do. Maybe, just maybe, we secretly want t'fail. 'Cause we wanna know what our cutie marks're gonna be, but we're afraid o' what'll happen if we don't like th' answer. Like, if ah woke up one day and found an apple on mah flank, ah'd wish ah could get back th' wonder of not knowin', and th' hopin' fer it not t'be somethin' sucky."
"Sweetie Belle dear, can I have a moment to talk?"
"Hey Schweetie, ain't that yer sister?" said Applejack
"I don't have a sister, you're my sister now" she hugged Applejack.
"Please Sweetie Belle, I have come to forgive you for our fight."
"No talking. Only drinking. And you can haaaaaaaave... this one!" she tossed a bottle to her sister, who took a sip.
"It's just grape juice."
"Hah! Then you don't get to be cool like us."
****
"Good morning everypony" said Rarity cheerily, "How are those hangovers treating you?"
"Oh Celestia, no more talking" moaned Sweetie Belle.
"Can't lift... mah head" said Applebloom.
"Well, I do hope you've learned your lesson on the dangers of alcohol. Get up Applejack" She kicked the prone-lying earthpony in the ribs, "...and a lesson on what kind of a fillysitter Applejack is. This has to be third-worst thing that's happened while she was watching you."
Cassandra happened flying by and she joined them on the ground. "I sure am glad I know a hangover cure spell. Rarity, how about some practice kissing for it?"
"Not this time," said Rarity, "they need to learn this the hard way."
"Rarity for fuck's saaaake!" whined Sweetie Belle, wincing in pain, "just pay the lady!"
"Oh all right. Cassandra, if you would please." Cassandra spread her wings and her eyes glowed white. A light enveloped Applejack, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle. They floated off the ground as the light intensified and finally flashed.
"The sunlight isn't trying to kill me anymore!" exclaimed Sweetie Belle, "thanks Cassandra!"
"No problem. Have you two learned the dangers of alcohol?"
"Yes m'am, we will never touch a drop again." said Applebloom and Sweetie Belle simultaneously.
"Hey y'all, it's almost time fer th' SIsterhooves Social!" said Applejack
"What's that?" asked Rarity
"It's sorta a self-congratulatory event where we have a bunch o' contests, and me an' Applebloom win all of 'em because they're thinly-disguised farm chores that we've been practicin' all year."
"It is truly fascinating how easily you are amused." said Cassandra.
"So since yer borrowin' me an' all, let's race t'gether, Sweetie Belle."
They went to the event where Big Mac and Granny Smith had done all of the work to set everything up.
"Attention everypony" said Granny Smith, "Before we get to th' race, we're gonna have us an exhibition run. Princess Celestia an' her long-lost sister Cassandra will attempt ta break their own record for th' fastest time around th' track!" Cassandra and Celestia stood poised at the starting line. "On yer mark, get set, GO!" The two whipped around the track, completing the obstacles with breakneck speed and precise efficiency. Within seconds they were back at the finish line.
"Thirty six seconds" said Granny Smith, "sorry, no new record."
"Celestia slowed me down." explained Cassandra, "Tia, go work out and don't disappoint me next time."
"Thank you for running with me, Cassandra, you have my sincerest apologies."
"Now" said Granny, "Everypony else... on yer mark, get set, GO!"
At the very first obstacle, Applejack fell into the mud, "Go on without me!" she yelled
"I plan to" said Sweetie Belle, but Applejack emerged moments later, covered in mud, and the two of them blitzed all the obstacles together, until they reached the last one, where they were defeated. Applejack's hat fell off to reveal that she wasn't Applejack at all, but Rarity.
"Rarity, I'm so sorry for disowning you" said Sweetie Belle, "will you take me back? I did this experiment to give myself perspective, and it worked. I miss having a roof over my head, and not having to do manual labor. While I don't like rules, I see that they keep me safe. And now that I know you can race as good as Applejack, that's yet another point in your favor. You see, sisterhood is like apple pie - tolerable as long as it isn't Applejack's." They embraced.
"Aw, it's so sweet to see sisters getting along" said Princess Celestia.
"Who said you were allowed to talk?" said Cassandra.