//------------------------------//
// Bonus Short: Depraved Desperation 
// Story: Twilight Eats a Hamburger 
// by PonyTom 
//------------------------------//

She couldn't sleep.

No matter how much she tried, Applejack couldn't get back to sleep.

She sighed as she tossed and turned in her bed, eager to get back to sleep so that she could wake up, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next morning, ready for a long day of apple buckin'.  Still, try as she might, slumber eluded her.  After going through the steps of denial, she finally reached acceptance, and quickly sat up.

"Consarn it all..." she said quietly to herself.  "I'm too restless."

Applejack, without another word, rolled off her bed with a sigh.  She made her way down the hall to the bathroom to do her business, flushing and washing her hooves afterwards like a lady, and then decided to make her way downstairs to grab a snack.

She made her way into the kitchen, where she saw Big Mac laying on top of what looked like a giant lower bun; a massive sesame seed bun a short distance away, and a massive piece of cheese covering him.  His hooves were all tied together, and he had an apple shoved in his mouth.  Nearby, Twilight and Fluttershy - both with crazed, shocked expressions on their face, frozen in place, stared at her.

Applejack continued to the pantry and opened the door, stepping inside.  She reached into a box, and pulled from it one of her family's famous apple fritters.  She unhesitatingly took a bite from it, and turned around, walking back into the kitchen, passing Twilight and Fluttershy who were now pouring giant onions on the stallion.

By the time Applejack made it to the living room, she stopped, and the gears in her head finally spun.

"Wait a minute..."

She trotted back into the kitchen to stare at her friends as they started throwing lettuce on her brother.

"What're y'all doin'...?"

Fluttershy and Twilight looked up at Applejack, then exchanged glances.

"Uh... you see...." began Twilight.  "... in many societies, many things ponies do, eat, read, and... uh.... read... are limited... by.... uh..."

"... class and affordability" finished Fluttershy.

"Yeah that."

Applejack quirked a brow, staring at her friends, who stared back with nervous eyes, Twilight having a slight twitch, and Fluttershy continuously stroking her own tail anxiously.

"She's not buying it!" Shouted Twilight suddenly. "Bail!"

Twilight immediately disappeared in a burst of magic, and Fluttershy, in an unusually aggressive manner, rushed Applejack, poked her in the eyes with her wing tips (which elicited a yelp from the mare) and flew out the nearby window.  Which was closed.  But was now opened.  And broken.  Applejack would be sure to ask her to pay for a replacement later when she was... not insane.

The farm mare rubbed her eyes with her hooves and opened them, blinking away the pain from the surprise attack, and looking to her brother with confusion.  Shaking her head, she trotted to him and pulled the apple from his mouth.  "What was THAT all about!?"

Big Mac shrugged.  "Well... I woke up to them tyin' me up an' lookin' at me with hungry eyes, sayin' they had 'big plans' for me, and that I was 'gonna be so good.'  I won't lie... I was kinda excited.  But then they said somethin' about not needin' condiments, which I... thought was somethin' else... an' I got a lil' worried, but damn if I didn't find it kinda appealin'...  It wasn't until they brought out the giant buns that I realized I may have... uh... misinterpreted the situation..."

Applejack stared at her brother silently, before bringing a hoof to the bridge of her nose and rubbing it.

"So you thought-"

"Eeyup."

"... and that they was-"

"Eeyup."

"... and you were alright with this until...?"

"Until I realized they was gonna eat me."

Applejack stared at her brother for a few minutes, his own stoic expression all he returned.  After a few minutes, she stuck her tongue at him.  "You can just sleep there tonight, ya pig."  She turned, ready to leave, but was stopped by her brother's voice.

"Uhh, AJ?"

"What?"

He turned his gaze to a wall, seeming nervous.  "Can ya... ya know... at least let me go so I can take a cold shower?"

Applejack furrowed her brow at her brother.  "Sleep it off, Casanova."

Applejack trotted back into the living room, leaving Big Mac alone.  She made her way back up the stairs, and into her room, shutting the door behind her and climbing into bed with a huff of annoyance, pulling her covers over herself, going into an annoyed sleep.  All the while, Big Mac lay on a giant hamburger bun, staring at the walls of his family's kitchen.

"... I got cheese in uncomfortable places..."


END