The Happiness and Peace of Mind Committee

by FlanChan

Chapter 7: Because You Just Might Get It

“C’mon Apple Bloom, it’s time to get up,” Applejack said, rousing Apple Bloom from her slumber. The little filly got up with a yawn.
“What time is it?” she asked wearily, rubbing the sleep out of one of her eyes.
“The speech starts in half an hour, if that’s what you’re asking.” Applejack ran a brush through her mane, and Apple Bloom tied her pink bow to her head. They finished getting ready, had a bit of fun making faces in the mirror for a minute or two, then left the house. The rest of their family was still asleep, waiting to be awoken by the television urging them to attend the speech. The two wanted a head start, though, so they could still be themselves without any hypnotized family members reporting them to The Committee.
They waited until the recorded message of Emerald Joy prompted them, and then left their house. They walked side by side, but didn’t display too much sisterly affection, since there was a strict rule on public displays of affection. In fact, there was a strict rule about any display of affection. Otherwise ponies might feel lonely or left out, which was a really ridiculous notion. If everyone was brainwashed, what was the need for that kind of thing?
The duo wordlessly made it to the town square, which was already tightly packed even though they had gotten a head start. Applejack cleared a path through the crowd for Apple Bloom to follow, but when she turned around her little sister was nowhere to be found. She went into a silent panic, but knew that she couldn’t shout for Apple Bloom to get back to her side. She would just have to wait until the speech was over to relocate her, since there was hardly enough room to move.
She sighed, still keeping up her fake smile, and surveyed the crowd for her friends. None of them seemed to be in sight, and Emerald was just walking out on stage, so Applejack decided to turn her attention to the boring daily speech. Unsettling maybe, but after all this time it was boring.
“Here I am!” she announced, the crowd roaring as she made her grand appearance. She was dragging something along with her, but Applejack was too far back to make out what it was. “Allow me to skip the theatrics just for today, please! We’ve got a reeeeally big doozy here!” Applejack twitched. What could she mean by a doozy?
A similar thought ran through Twilight’s mind. Maybe the town was under attack? Maybe the other countries caught wind of the goings on and was deciding to help! For a moment her smile was genuine, and then Emerald raised her arm.
“This rotten little one came up to me just now. I hadn’t even had anything like this planned for today! Here I thought I was able to spend another blissful day with all of you, and then this little girl came up to me and started complaining! ‘Oh, it’s all your fault that my big sister betrayed her friends! How could you? How could you?’ I mean, if you’re going to confide your last words with me, at least make your last words make sense!” A ripple of shocking realization washed over the six mares that had evaded the happiness spell.
“And so, I present to you, this little filly named Apple Bloom!” Emerald announced. The brainwashed citizens were ecstatic as always as the unknown object that Emerald Joy had been dragging around revealed itself to be the perky redhead pony with a pink bow in her mane. Tears and snot streaked her face as she wept bitterly in front of the audience.
“I see that she really isn’t in the mood for talking right now, so let’s get right down to business! Everyone, you’ve been waiting, haven’t you?” Emerald cheered,eliciting an outcry of excitement from the citizens. Apple Bloom cried louder, squeezing her eyelids shut. Applejack was too shell shocked to question the familiarity of the phrase, but somewhere in the back of her mind she realized that she had heard it before.
Emerald Joy made a flourishing turn towards the little girl, putting a black gloved hoof under Apple Bloom’s chin and lifting her face upward. She studied her face for a moment, then stepped back.
“You’ve been involved with black magic lately, haven’t you? Everyone! Here it is: our very first witch!” she announced. Apple Bloom recoiled.
“A witch? I’m not a witch!” she replied.
“Of course you are! Now, should we burn you at the stake?” The crowd agreed, chanting ‘burn her, burn her!’ Apple Bloom was devastated.
“I’m telling you, I’m not a witch!” she shouted. Emerald gave her a cold stare.
“I’ll prove it to you, then! I’m going to need my personal consultant… Rarity! Would you be a dear and come on out?” Rarity stopped cold at the mention of her name. She was backstage, since she had been doing Emerald’s daily makeup, so she never needed to attend the speeches. It was jarring hearing her name called out before all of the citizens. She hesitated, but then slowly rose from her chair and walked onto the stage.
“What do you need, Emerald Joy?” she asked, trying to keep her eyes from drifting towards Apple Bloom’s grief-stricken face.
“Tell me, Rarity, what do you do when you find a witch?” Emerald asked, glancing indifferently at her hooficure for a moment.
“Erm… you burn them?” Rarity guessed.
“Correct! And what do you also burn along with the witch?”
“Wood?”
“Right again! So why do you think witches burn?”
“Uh… I—I’m not sure…” Rarity answered truthfully. She would have just said that it made no difference whether someone was a witch or not, because they would die anyway, but this was Emerald Joy she was talking to, so she kept her mouth shut.
“You’ve been good up until this point, so let me give you the answer! Witches burn like wood because they themselves are made out of wood! So how do we tell if she’s made of wood or not?”
“Eh… build a house out of her?” Rarity guessed. Emerald was messed up in the brain, so Rarity countered her with an equally messed up answer. Apple Bloom’s face turned to that of desperation. They were going to saw her apart and make her into a building?
“But can’t you also make a house out of brick or stone or metal or hay?” Emerald responded.
“O—oh, r—right…”
“Tell me this: Does wood sink in water?”
“No, I suppose not…”
“So there’s only one way to tell if Apple Bloom is made of wood or not! Stick her in a vat of water! If she floats, she is indeed a witch, and we shall burn her at the stake! But if she sinks to the bottom and drowns, we’ve made quite a horrible mistake haven’t we?”
Before Apple Bloom knew it, she was pushed off of the platform that was quite a few stories above the ground. She fell, but had no energy to scream. She saw nothing but pavement below her. What happened to the water idea?
Right before she would have impacted and became nothing more but a bloody stain on the ground, the cement cracked and opened to reveal a large pool of water. She made a humongous splash on impact, and she was going so fast that it left a red mark on her.
“Don’t worry!” Emerald called. “Normally there are sharks and electric eels and piranhas in there, but I’ve cleaned them out for our little experiment. I mean, I’m pretty sure I got most of them…” Apple Bloom’s face turned blue with fear, and tried her best to keep afloat. She knew that the best way would be to spread out her limbs and keep still, but then she would definitely be burned at the stake. At least with this she might be able to hold her breath long enough to both live and make it through this inhuman experiment.
However, even though she was an earth pony, she hadn’t yet honed her skills enough to save herself. She also lacked the muscles that her big sister had, and her energy was lacking from the pressure of the situation. She flailed about wildly, trying desperately to keep from falling into the water’s depths.
She started feeling her body get heavier and heavier, and soon was struggling to keep her head above the water. With her last ounce of strength she propelled herself upward a little, caught a good amount of breath in her lungs, then went limp. The cold water pulled her in, and she snapped her eyes shut to avoid stinging them. She curled herself into a ball so she would sink over and get this over with. She felt that maybe, if she could live through this experiment long enough, she would be able to live and go back to her family. To see her sister one last time.
Why had she gone up to Emerald? Did she really think that something good would come out of it? She couldn’t ponder it now, her mind was getting foggy. Maybe she should’ve just kept her mouth shut.
No, this was no time for regrets. She clung on to the last bit of breath that was still in her lungs. She could feel herself blacking out. Maybe she could look into the crowd and see Applejack again. Maybe she could say that she was sorry. She opened her eyes wearily and surveyed the crowd before her, black spots forming in her field of vision. Soon it was too hard to see. Her eyes hurt, so she stopped looking. Or maybe it was the black spots that had been growing bigger and bigger. She didn’t want to think too hard. Her mind was hurting and her eyes were hurting and her heart was hurting and her lungs were hurting.
She released her final breath, unable to sap any more resources from it. Her mind shut down, and she felt herself go limp. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t think.
She didn’t catch a final glimpse of her sister.

Applejack couldn’t believe the event that was unfolding before her. There was her sister, who she had just gone on a potentially life-threatening journey to save, struggling to breathe in a giant fish tank in front of a countless amount of spectators. It had all been brought upon by the words of Emerald Joy and her own friend Rarity. She felt like blaming the purple haired unicorn who she had been friends with for so long, but now was not the time to be pointing fingers. Now was the time to experience the horrors unfolding before her, without any mental distractions.
She watched as the filly sunk to the bottom. She could tell that she was still alive, but she could tell that she wouldn’t be for long. Applejack wanted to shout, to dive in and save her, but she knew that attempting anything like that would be far too reckless. She clenched her teeth so hard that her gums started to bleed from the pressure. Blood seeped through her mouth and dropped onto the pavement, but she didn’t care.
She turned to leave as soon as possible. She didn’t want to watch her sister die, the one she had fought so much to keep alive. She pushed her way out of the front of the crowd, borderline running back home. She should have met up with her friends for comfort, but right now all she wanted was to be alone.
She made it back home, and her house was empty. Her family would be back soon, since the speech was almost done when she had left. Once she was sure she was alone, Applejack kicked a nearby trash can against the wall with an aggravated yell. Did the universe really have the nerve to send her on such a difficult quest and then yank away her prize? She slammed her hooves against a table. Her sister was gone, her sister was gone…!
She felt her hooves get wet. It wasn’t the warm and thick kind of wet that the blood felt like, but the thin and fragile wet that her tears felt like. She wanted to fling herself to the floor and cry bitterly, but she didn’t want to be found like that when everyone got home. Instead she flung herself upstairs, slammed her bedroom door shut, and collapsed on her bed. What had she done to deserve this?
She pushed her face into her pillow, not sure whether to cry or to scream. She dug her teeth into the fabric of the cover and let out a muffled shout, a damp spot already forming on it from her tears. She allowed herself to toss about in a fit of sadness and rage and grief all at once. Overwhelmed with emotions, Applejack burst out crying at any little provocation by her mind.
After a few minutes she felt stable enough to stand back up and walk to her mirror to cover up any signs of crying before the rest of the occupants of the house got back. That was all she thought of them as at that point, just other occupants of her house. The only true family she had was just ripped right from her. Her attempts to hide any signs of crying went to waste as an invisible dam behind her eyes broke forth again. No, she needed to calm down, to get a hold of herself.
“Maybe if I talk to myself and reason through everything I’ll feel a bit better,” she whispered quiet enough that only she could hear. The only problem was that she had no idea what she could say to herself that would make her feel any better, so she just decided to let her brain run loose and say whatever came to mind.
“Hey, hey,” she said, her subconscious taking hold, “do you know about it, I wonder? The paradise to the south, a city of despair.” Her eyes widened, yet she couldn’t stop talking. It felt like some sort of alien force was violating her brain and forcing her to continue.
“Wishes come true in that place, and I’ve found a way to go there!” She squeezed her eyes shut. The out-of-body feeling took over her again, static creeping into and quickly overtaking her vision. Her knees locked and she fell over, but her consciousness was already too far away to feel the impact.
She was met with the familiar yet still unnerving imagery of nooses and other obscure images that made her skin crawl. The Forbidden Rights. Through all eternity, immortality.
“Yes, thank you! Hello everyone! I will be your host today!”
Applejack felt herself come back to her senses a little, and it was just as she had feared. There she was in the black void, hooves cuffed, static screens swirling around her, and a deranged witch addressing a crowd that might as well be nonexistent. Siren prepared herself to continue her normal speech, but stopped suddenly.
“Huh? Isn’t it you again?” she asked, eying Applejack. “Did you cut your hair? You didn’t?” She gave absolutely no time to breathe, much less let Applejack answer. Her face dropped its characteristic grin for a moment. “Oh, I see.”
“W—what is this?” Applejack asked breathlessly. Siren either ignored her, or at least didn’t hear.
“Everyone, you’ve been waiting, haven’t you? The Game of Guilt, let’s give it a whirl!” The screens flashed the logo again, which Applejack had hope she would ever see another time in her life. Heavenly Prison and Time Prison. Heart Pounding Game.
Siren already skipped to the theatrics, Applejack’s mind filling with more alien phrases. Zombie. Punishment. Failure. Absolutely no mistakes.
“Regubaru kuriyan. Zandasuatibon. Regatoruaruban. Zandoraimouru.” At least the words were the same. If she did it once, she could do it again.
“Regubaru kuriyan. Zandasuatibon. Regatoruaruban. Zandoraimouru,” Applejack repeated, a confident smile on her face.
“Confess to your sins,” Siren ordered.
“I have committed sin,” Applejack replied. She clamped her hooves over her mouth. What was she saying? Was her subconscious speaking for her now? No, she hadn’t done anything wrong… right? Nonetheless, Siren continued.
“As Lady Marie Laveau, one of the greatest practitioners of voodoo, commands, you must come up with one single answer!” Applejack took a deep breath, then began the ritual.
“Regubaru kuriyan. Zandasuatibon. Regatoruaruban. Zandoraimouru.”
The last resistance. Those who wait will surely die.
“Regubaru kuriyan. Zandasuatibon. Regatoruaruban. Zandoraimouru.”
Zombie. Punishment. Eternal love and obedience.
“Regubaru kuriyan. Zandasuatibon. Regatoruaruban. Zandoraimouru.”
Death. AmEN. The punishment called immortality.
“Regubaru kuriyan. Zandasuatibon. Regatoruaruban. Zandoraimouru.”
The Path to Eternal Happiness… I found it.
Eventually the counter hit 1000, but it kept going. Applejack started to sweat. What was going on? More importantly, why was she even doing this? Why was she here? She wasn’t wishing for anything, so what could this ritual possibly be for?
She continued on, and the counter eventually broke 2000. Then 3000. Was she ever going to stop?
“Regubaru kuriyan. Zandasuatibon. Regatoruaruban. Zandoraimouru.”
Eternal Happiness.
“Regubaru kuriyan. Zandasuatibon. Regatoruaruban. Zandoraimouru.”
Zombie. Death. AmEN.
“Regubaru kuriyan. Zandasuatibon. Regatoruaruban. Zandoraimouru.”
Peace.
“Regubaru kuriyan. Zandasuatibon. Regatoruaruban. Zandoraimouru.”
The Path to Eternal Happiness… I found it.
Finally, after repeating the same phrase 5000 times to seemingly no end, the counter maxed out and Siren prompted her to stop.
“You did it! Congratulations!” Siren cheered.
“Did what?” Applejack inquired.
“Why, you fulfilled your ritual, of course! You thought, and I quote: ‘For as long as she lives, may none of Apple Bloom’s loved ones go under that spell.’ And, uh, last I checked…” She paused and looked to her wrist, eying an invisible wristwatch. “She died about half an hour ago! We’re overdue!”
“Wait, you don’t mean…” Applejack replied hoarsely. She swallowed, her heart beating rapidly.
“Of course! Congratulations!” Siren answered innocently. Applejack fell to the ground in shock, her vision going hazy. Her very consciousness seemed to be reducing to static. This couldn’t be right? What was happening?!
She struggled to get to her feet, to run away, to get as far away from this place as possible. She cried out and fell limply on the floor. She tried to think, to figure out some way out of this, but it was either by black magic or just her massive hysteria that she couldn’t come up with anything. It was like her own memories were being burned before her. The very virtues and basic knowledge she held close to her heart became difficult to recall. She reached out desperately, groping at the air as if to catch everything that was leaving her mind.
Peace. Eternal Happiness.
Her subconscious even felt wiped clean, and her thoughts became one dimensional. All negativity was swept from her being, alleviating even her fear for the situation. She stopped hyperventilating. What was there left to worry about? She was in no sort of danger. She was just getting some positive vibes! That was all!
Her name was Applejack. She lived happily in a city, ruled over the benevolent Emerald Joy without a care in the world! Of course, that was always how it had been! What was she fretting about? Everything was fine!
The Path to Eternal Happiness… I found it.
“You did it! Congratulations! From today onwards, a zombie!”