//------------------------------// // Payback Time // Story: The Married Life // by Legacy55 //------------------------------// Twilight was peacefully reorganizing her library, that was, until Discord suddenly appeared before her. “Didn’t you hear me?! I told you to stay out!” She roared at him, pausing a moment from her work. “Oh, Twilight, this is terrible!” He said, completely disregarding her words. “Celestia has just given me some awful, horrible news!” “Oh, yeah?” She said annoyed, returning to her task. “Is the Princess finally getting a divorce?” “No! Worse than that!” He wailed, turning away from her. “Celestia is pregnant!” There was a loud thump as a dozen books tumbled to the floor. “What?!” Twilight spun around to look at him. “Pregnant! And soon I’ll be tied down in the castle, listening to that awful little thing cry all day long…” “She’s pregnant?! Bu-but… I can hardly believe it! Princess Celestia, pregnant, and you’re the father! Wow!” She said with wide eyes. “This isn’t anything to be excited about!” Discord suddenly snapped. “The greatest years of my life are over! All that remains are the tight binding chains of parenthood! I can’t handle this!” Twilight looked at him with a very surprised look. She had never seen the Draconequus so worried, as usually he was always so calm and collected. But now… He was beginning to remind her of herself during the days leading to the wedding… “Come on, Discord! Shouldn’t you be happy about this? Celestia is your wife, and she cares about you a lot. I’m sure she’s very happy and excited right now, and you should be too!” --------------- “Oh, my bucking head…” Celestia mumbled to herself as she gritted her teeth. “Servant!” She wailed at the top of her lungs, tossing several times in her bed as she struggled to get comfortable. “Uh, y-yes, your highness?” A unicorn said meekly as he rushed to her side. “Get the doctor over here this instant! My damn head is killing me right now, and I need that medication!” “Y-yes, your highness!” He nodded, quickly teleporting out of her sight. Celestia groaned as she rolled over and looked through her balcony door. This damn child better be worth it, because I haven’t been in this much pain in a long time… ------------------ “But how can I?! Just imagine yourself for a minute! What if you were to have a child soon? How would you feel?” Discord questioned. “Well…” Twilight looked at her hooves with an unsure frown. “I can’t say I’d be happy… I mean, I still have so much of my life left! I’m far too young to have a child!” “…And that’s exactly how I feel! I still have so many years of chaos ahead of me; I can’t be tied down with a child!” “But you’re immortal! You have all of time left!” “Ah, Twilight. You don’t understand.” Discord declared, raising a claw in front of her. “You won’t until you have a child. Now, excuse me while I go and figure out a plan to stop all this…” He snapped his fingers and vanished. “Oh, Discord…” She sighed. “You’re never going to learn…” ---------------------- “This is just great! I can hardly wait until Discord gets back, and then I can finally get some well deserved payback!” Luna cackled, giggling like a school filly. “Oh, Sister, that’s good and all… but when is that bucking doctor going to get here?!” Celestia snapped, raising her head a few inches above her pillow to scan the room. “You should calm down a bit, Celestia. we are Princesses, remember?” “Luna! It feels like something is painfully tunneling its way into my skull! I need morphine now!” “Gosh, Sister, you’re quite the drama queen…” Luna rolled her eyes at her. “If you’re not going to quiet down, I’m just going to find some other place to scheme…” She turned her head away from her and left the room. Celestia let out a sigh as she closed the door. Luna paced down the well furnished hallway, heading towards her personal bedroom just one floor down. The ornate carpet felt soft on her hooves, and the torches along the walls gave the hallway a warm atmosphere. The upper part of the castle tower was by far the most beautiful, as the royal bedrooms were housed there. As she headed to the door of her bedroom, she was halted as Discord suddenly appeared in front of her. A grin suddenly spread on her face. “Ah, Discord! Just the Draconequus I wanted to see!” “Luna! I just came up with the most brilliant idea! It will fix everything!” Discord said with genuine excitement in his voice. “Oh, yes? Let’s hear it then…” She smiled, waiting for whatever ridiculous idea he had come up with to try and weasel out of this. “Well, I was thinking that we’d make you the godfather! You’d take care of the child in my place while I continue on with my chaos! It’s genius!” “Oh, yeah?” Luna said with a frown. “Just what makes you think I’d become the godfather?” “Well, you do have the mustache for it!” Luna’s hoof hit nothing but air as Discord teleported behind her, away from her blows. “Come on, Luna, stop being so selfish!” “Hehe…” She grinned, trying her best to hide her anger. “Well, Discord… I just heard some news that might upset you…” “What?! There can’t possibly be anything that could make this worse!” “Celestia is having twins!” Discord’s eyes practically popped out of their sockets. “WHAT?!?!” He immediately teleported away, obviously going to find out if this unsettling news was correct. “Ha!” Luna laughed. “I’ve never seen him so angry before! This is just too good!” -------------------- “Now, you say you’ve been experiencing some head pain? I wasn’t expecting any until at least next week! Perhaps I should have given you some medication sooner…” A doctor dressed in a lab coat said, watching as Celestia tossed and turned in her bed. “Well, just give me the damn morphine before I throw myself off the balcony!” She snapped at him, causing him to jump back in freight. “Um, y-yes. Right away Princess.” The doctor fumbled through his pockets, taking a painfully long time to find the medicine. After what felt like eternity, he finally pulled out a small bottle and squinted to read the tiny letters. “Ah, yes, here it is! Now you should probably only take tw-” The doctor was cut off as Celestia snatched the bottle from his grasp and swallowed the entire thing in one gulp. She lay back against her pillow and immediately began to feel them take effect. “Oh… um… That isn’t good…” He mumbled to himself, looking at the Princess with a concerned look. “Oh well! She is an Alicorn; it’ll probably barely even effect her…” Right after the doctor closed the door shut, Discord popped into the room. He looked at his slightly dizzy looking wife with an anxious look. “Celestia! Don’t tell me it’s true! Luna told me you’re having twins!” “Who?! Wha-?” Celestia looked up, her head swaying back and forth as she looked around the room. “Oh, Discord! It’s you!” She smiled, and Discord looked at her with surprise. “Um… Celly? Are you alright?” He raised an eyebrow at her, confused by her odd behavior. “Of course!” She giggled, laying her head against her soft pillow. “Everything feels like it’s moving...” Wow, she’s acting very weird… Maybe she’s had a breakdown… “Well, tell me already! Are you having twins?!” “Huh?” She looked up again, completely confused. “Oh… oh no! No twins.” Discord let out a sigh. “Oh, thank goodness! I don’t know what I’d do if you were…” “Nope! No twins! Just triplets! Or Quadruplets! Oh, that’d be fun!” Celestia giggled again. “…Or maybe quintuplets! I wonder what six babies are called…”She placed a hoof under her chin and thought silently to herself. Oh no, she’s snapped… “Celestia dear, I don’t think you’re feeling very well…” “Sextuplets! Yes, that’s the word! I’m having six kids!” Celestia clapped her hooves together like a foal. “Um, right… I’m just going to come back when you’re feeling better…” Discord said with a slight amount of fear audibly in his voice. “Bye weird dragon thing!” Celestia waved, quickly returning to staring happily at the ceiling. “Yes… Bye…” ---------------------------- Twilight sighed in frustration as she was interrupted yet again. Luna had just barged her way through the door with an enormous grin on her face. “Twilight Sparkle! You should see Discord! He is absolutely freaking out right now!” “Yeah, he already showed up here and complained to me… Honestly, why can’t you ponies leave me alone for one day?!” “I mean, I’ve never seen him so worried before! Not even at the wedding!” Twilight growled, as that was the second time today she had been ignored completely. “So? How does this have anything to do with me? If you hadn’t noticed, I’m trying to get some work done…” “Well, I was thinking we could take advantage of Discord’s current state! It would be just like when we teamed up to stop the wedding!” “If you remember, that failed horribly! I lost every ounce of my sanity, you ended up banished on the moon, and I was left alone in the Everfree Forest! Why would I help you again?” “Oh, well when you say it that way...” Luna said with a disappointed look. “…I suppose I don’t really need you. I can annoy Discord on my own. Goodbye then, Twilight!” After Luna left Twilight let out a sigh, “Maybe I can finally get some actual work done around here…” ------------------ “Pinkie Pie! You’re the only one I have left to turn to now! Twilight’s busy as always, Luna’s annoying me, and Celestia is absolutely bonkers!” “Oh, sure Discord, whatever you need!” Pinkie Pie grinned, taking a seat on the floor and staring at him with an attentive look. “Well… Celestia’s pregnant…” “Pregnant?!” Pinkie Pie shouted, jumping ten feet in the air. Somehow streams and balloons exploded around her and decorated the entire store. “This calls for a party!” “No! This is awful!” “Why?” Pinkie asked, craning her head like a confused dog. “Because, my greatest years are gone! My days as a bachelor are finished! Not only that, but I feel so old now! Gone are the youthful days when I spent all my time causing chaos, and where I didn’t have a care in the world!” “Well… think about it this way, Discord!” She grinned, jumping up in front of him. “You’re gonna have a kid! And you’re going to spend so much fun time with it! You know, I love kids! I could babysit if you wanted! I’m great with kids! Just ask Mr. and Mrs. Cake, I did an amazing job with Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake! We could play games and…” Discord rolled his eyes as Pinkie went into yet another endless rant of nonsense. If there was one thing that annoyed him about the pink pony, it was that she didn’t know when to shut up. Waiting patiently, Pinkie finally stopped talking after what seemed like forever. “That’s not helping, you know… What I need is to do something fun to take my mind off of this whole thing…” “Oh, I know! Come on, Discord, follow me!” Pinkie Pie zipped through the door with a speed that rivaled the wonder bolts, with the Draconequus following right behind her. ------------------------------- “Oh, sister, I feel SO amazing right now!” Celestia said with a smile as she leaned on Luna like a wall. “Um Celestia? How much medication did you take?” “Oh… I don’t remember… All I know is, that cat looks rather upset…” She grinned, pointing a hoof to a nearby potted plant. “That’s a plant…” “Oh! Then the plant look upset… You know, I think I need to go lie down…” Celestia giggled, turning back towards her bedroom. “Please do Sister, you need the rest…” “Wait, no! I have a sudden craving for pancakes! To the kitchen!” Celestia yelled, pushing past her sister and down the tower steps. “Wait, Celestia! Ugh… This isn’t good…”