//------------------------------//
// Debate Between Me, Myself, and I 
// Story: Flutterrants 
// by Bombastic Bookpony 
//------------------------------//

	Fluttershy ran faster than she ever had before. She shut the door behind her, locking it before crumbling against it. She had to get out of there, she needed to think. What had she done? What had she said? Suddenly, overwhelming waves of regret and nausea washed over her as her mind replayed what she had said over and over and over again. What had she done?! She couldn't stop herself from puking in self-disgust. But even that didn't alleviate her self-hatred. Struggling to get back up on her feet, she desperately looked for something to support her, but instead she again collapsed, her face smashing against the floor. Slowly losing consciousness, her house faded away from her vision.


 
When she opened her eyes, her humble abode was replaced by darkness. There was nothing. Nothing until she heard slow trotting echo all around her and she slowly formed into view. Technically identical physically in almost every way to Fluttershy, with a closer inspection, her grey color was far from the biggest distinction from Fluttershy. There was the grin, constantly on her face, reveling in others pain. But not even that was the biggest contrast. Nor was it her body language, the way she carried herself above all others, ready to strike out physically or verbally at any second. Nay, it was the eyes. Eyes that held not a single amount of sympathy or decency, but instead a void of hate and cruelty. Not just mere cruelty, but a cruelty that knew happiness, but only knew it through others pain, pain like she was witnessing from the pony she hated above all others, and that was saying quite a bit. Her eyes held the utter delight of Pinkie Pie eating a cake, that wholesale happiness only further emphasizing the pit of evil beside it. It was like seeing fireworks above a graveyard, or a single, tiny flower growing in a completely barren, desolate world destroyed by it's own children. The happy sight only served to brighten the injustice of the world, and the same effect was personified in this. After reveling in Fluttershy's horror, she finally spoke.

"What have I done!? What have I done!? Oh Woe! Is! Meeeeeee!" she cried in mock anguish, holding her hooves to her head. She smirked. "Don't you remember? You told the truth. For once, you told all those 'friends' of yours how you really felt and, let's face it, you felt more alive than ever before." 

That voice.... She had pushed that voice down all her life, ever since the accident. She swore that side of her would never rise again, and it didn't, until Discord came along.

"Ah, Discord. Now he was a true master of the game. Only one he couldn't break naturally was you, with that lifetime repression of yours. You can't blame him. You can't break what's already been broken." She let out her cruel laugh, a laugh that instantly made Fluttershy shiver.  "I should really thank him. Without him finally letting me loose again, this wouldn't be possible. Once I have control, I ought to break that statue of his. Just have to break the Elements' connection, right? Wouldn't be too hard. I could play them like a fiddle."

Fluttershy felt a fire inside her at these words. She stood up, glaring at the dark her. "Don't you dare hurt my friends!" she yelled with strength she rarely had. Fluttercruel was unaffected.

"Sorry, that's your job isn't it? Simply smashing display there! And by smashing, I mean the smashing of all six of your friends' hearts! That deserves an instant replay, don't you think?" Fluttercruel flicked her tail and an image formed before them. 

First she saw Pinkie and Rarity, how she had denounced their entire lives' purpose as meaningless.  She saw Pinkie's hurt look as she pushed her to the ground with a flick of her hoof, calling her simple. She saw Rarity's surprise when she called her fanshion career petty, could see her heart breaking as if she couldn't believe that Fluttershy could ever say such things, turning away in a vain attempt to keep her class, to stop the forming tears. Then came the point of no return.

"I can't believe that the two most frivolous ponies in Ponyville are trying to tell new Fluttershy how to live her life when they are throwing their own lives away on pointless pursuits that nopony else gives a flying feather about!" Fluttercruel imitated perfectly, moving in sync with the image. "You always felt that way, didn't ya? Don't deny it, I know you better than you know yourself. You thought, no, knew that it wasn't fair that while you got saddled with all the ungrateful animals, animals who pushed you around, animals who physically removed you from your own home, they got the good lives." She saw pictures of Carasouel Boutique and Sugarcube Corner side by side, of Rarity and Pinkie at work. 

"Rarity got to make beautiful pieces of fashion, meeting wonderful, exotic ponies. Pinkie was cruising on life with all her parties, freeloading off the Cakes. None of them knew your pain, did they? When they felt upset after a long day, they had Sweetie Belle or the Cakes to talk to. Not you! After a horrid day of trying to get the animals to eat your awful, plain food and being domestically abused by your pet rabbit, well, at the end of the day, who was there to comfort you with a 'good job!'? The very animals that deep down, a very large part of you hates dealing with day in and day out? Is it any wonder that while you sacrificed all your time to help awful beasts and they were only serving their hedonistic desires, that you finally snapped when they tried to tell you how to live?"

'Yeah, that's right! They had no right to do that! This is my life!' a growing part of Fluttershy was feeling. But then she remembered Applejack, telling her of the good sides of Old Fluttershy. Wasn't seeing the good side of Old Fluttershy what got her this far? Maybe she had to see the good sides of her friends too. 

"So Rarity and Pinkie tried to tell me what to do? They're not all bad! I remember Pinkie's parties often being the good part of a really bad day, and Rarity's our best friend! Whenever I felt ugly or weak or sad, she'd take me to the spa or make me a dress that made me look pretty darn smoking, if you don't mind my language." She took a moment to blush. "But beyond that, she was always there for me to talk to, and Pinkie was too! She would've gladly cheered me up if she had known! Sure, I felt like they didn't deserve to be living like that while I was slaving away while they didn't fully notice. But part of that's my fault too, for not telling them how I really felt so we could get past it together!" She exclaimed, raising her hoof to the sky. 

"And I don't hate my animals! Are they greedy sometimes? Yes. Are they occasionally mean? Yes. And do I wonder at night if any of what I do matters? Yes! But then the sun comes up, and I see how much they do appreciate me! When I save a bird's eggs from falling and cracking, or when I save snakes from a flood, or even when I just feed the hungry, I see the gratitude and love in their eyes." The images shifted as Fluttershy started tearing up, showing her heroic deeds and the embraces of her animals. "And they are there for me. Just because they can't talk, doesn't mean they can't comfort. Once, when this stallion mocked me for my flying, his entire house was flodded with bunnies and carrots, and I knew, even if he'd never admit it, Angel Bunny rounded all of those bunnies and carrots up and did it because he cares!" The tears were streaming now as her voice grew stronger. "And those nights, when I wondered if I mattered? They'd always come right up to that bed and lay with me until I felt better, and in those moments, I felt like, well, the most important pony in the world!" she finished, her voice choking on the words.  

"How touching," Fluttercruel growled.

"Thank you," Fluttershy replied, oblivious to the sarcasm. After a few seconds of drying her tears and composing herself, Fluttershy faced her evil counterpart with added resoluteness.  

"Are you finished?" Fluttershy nodded. "Good. I want you to be at full strength before I tear you down. Makes it so much more satisfying. Next pony then!" she bellowed, and with a flick of her tail Fluttershy saw herself verbally abusing Rainbow Dash, valiantly trying to hold tears. "Element of Loyalty, my flank Dash! You're just a selfish pony in for herself going after something you're never gonna have! I mean, you performed a Rainboom twice and you're still not in the Wonderbolts! Get over it, Rainbow Crash!" Fluttercruel was brimming with joy. "That was a good one! You ripped apart every last shred of credibility she had as the Element of Loyalty and of becoming a Wonderbolt. And, really, didn't she deserve it? Ever since you've known her, she's acted so perfect, so awesome, when on the very day she got her Cutie Mark, the thing that defines who you are, she didn't even notice you falling." Fluttershy turned her head away from the view, but could still feel that the next picture was her falling, screaming in fear. She still had nightmares some nights. "All she is a bully, and not the good kind. At least I'm honest about it. Her? It's 'Louder!" or 'Egghead!' or 'Reading is for lameos, man' all under the facade of loyalty! Didn't she deserve what she got?" 

Fluttershy did find Dash a bit abrasive sometimes. She could be a little nicer and less demeaning. And the hurt she felt that day when Dash didn't save her still stung, and was a wound that might never heal. But she noticed something, something that's been growing ever since Twilight came along. "She's trying, and she's getting better."

"What?" Fluttercruel asked with a quizzical look, a look saying 'are you serious?'.

"It's true!" Fluttershy said with the utmost conviction. "On that day we met Twilight, did a part of me think Dash would go with the Shadowbolts? Yes, a tiny bit of me did," she admitted, hanging her head in shame. "But she didn't. She gave up all the fame and fortune she ever wanted because you know why?" No, Fluttercruel could never know why, she could never understand. Fluttershy waited for an answer, but Fluttercruel offered none. "Because Twilight believed in her. And now the rest of us do too! She's made a lot of missteps, but maybe it's time to stop focusing on the missteps and start focusing on the leaps! Why did she do the Sonic Rainboom the second time? To save Rarity, something that I'm thankful for every day!" The world in front of them shifted, showing these feats, giving Fluttershy added confidence as she continued. "When we thought Celestia was going to banish Twilight for the letter incident, who was first through that door, ready for action? Dash! Even the small things, like waking me up so we, not just her, could be the first in line for cider shows how much better she's gotten and how much she cares! She's still growing, and I'm happy to help her grow into the wonderful Wonderbolt I know she's going to be!"

Fluttercruel was evidently frustrated. "Fine!" she scowled. "Since you seem to love Twilight as an example, let's move on to her and her pet, shall we?" They saw Twilight, smiling awkwardly on the day she and Fluttershy first met and Spike mocking her as Flutterguy. "Use-"

"No," Fluttershy said with so much certainty that Fluttercruel was left truly astonished.

"What?"

"No! Before Twilight, I was lonely, too shy to talk to anypony! I was alone, until she came along! She was the way I got to truly know the other Elements not as acquaintances, but as ponies. As friends." A scene of Fluttershy and Twilight maintaining the animals together formed. "She leaped into friendship with an enthusiasm that I have never, ever seen before! Twilight fought to keep our friendship going in those early days where I'd rather hide myself away from this strange new pony I barely knew. And it's time I realized that any condescension from her is unintentional. She just wants me to be my best and I love that she has enough faith in me to keep pushing me!" A beat passed as Fluttershy realized she had forgotten Spike. "And Spike may be a little rude, but he is only a baby dragon after all. There's plenty of reasons to like him. He's loyal, energetic, and funny! If it wasn't me, I would've laughed at that 'Flutterguy' nickname too!"

Fluttercruel let out a brief chuckle before catching herself. "AUGH! There's no point in showing AJ, is there?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "Nope, it was her who got me to realize I was giving you too much of a hold on me. It was her-"

"NO! NO MORE SPEECHES! PLEASE!" she pleaded. "You win! Rarity's drama and Twilight's lecturing has rubbed off on you way more than I thought! I thought I could never hate you more than I did before!" Fluttershy smiled in triumph. Fluttercruel, however, realized she had one more card to pull. "So what happens now? You push me down again? You know how that works out.  One way or another, you let me out and all those bad feelings you keep in come out tenfold! It's an endless battle for you and one of these days you'll finally just give in! I have your entire lifetime to wait you out! How long can you weather these endless debates?!" she screamed in rage as she and the nothingness began to fade. 

"I WON'T LET YOU OUT AGAIN! I WON'T!" Fluttershy screamed just as loud before a white flash came over her.



She woke up, as a knocking came upon the door. Who's that, she dazedly thought as she gathered herself. She took a small moment to delight in her thoughts being her own again as she opened the door. Before her stood the large, muscular blue Minotaur who had taught her, Iron Will.

Iron Will snorted. "You were nothing but a doormat, and Iron Will turned you into a lean, mean, assertive machine! Now, pay Iron Will what you owe Iron Will!" Fluttershy felt the familiar indignation, the anger she felt when someone assumed they could push her around. She tried to push it down so she could pay Iron Will his money and suddenly she felt an epiphany.

All her life. All her life, she had let people walk all over her and she had kept her feelings inside, fearful of losing control. But all that had done was feed her inner monster. Being kind did not mean being a doormat, and being mean wasn't being assertive. She felt it, she was on the cusp of being the pony she always wanted to be. Kind, but strong. Respectful, but firm. Not a doormat or a monster. For the first time, she balanced her caring side's respect and her dark side's strength and self-assurance into one. She pulled both dashes of politeness and self-care to fuel a simple two-letter word, a two-letter word that she felt she was saying the right way for the first time in her life.

"No."




Iron Will had respectfully stood down when she told him she wasn't paying him because she wasn't satisfied rather than being a cheapskate, and Fluttershy felt confident in her first step in becoming a new mare. She heard Rarity and Pinkie cheering and for the first time really registered that they were there. Why? she thought. After the horrible things she said, why were they here? They trotted up to her as she tried to find the words.

"W-why are you two here?" Stupid! she inwardly cursed herself. They winced. They obviously were still hurt from what happened before, and were worried she was still mad at them. She hastily explained. "I mean, I said awful things to you girls! You shouldn't have tried to protect me when I didn't deserve it!"

But Rarity shushed her gently. "What you said was awful, I won't lie. But I won't let one bad fight ruin this wonderful friendship that's mostly been nothing but unbridled happiness."

Pinkie eagerly nodded. "Heck, I've been there sister! Remember my birthday? I thought you all had betrayed me and I went loco in the coco! We all have our lows, Fluttershy! We just gotta bounce higher than we ever did before when we reach them!" she said with a grin, bouncing all the while to illustrate the point. Fluttershy realized that Pinkie did understand. She's not simple at all. And she realized she had to let the both of them know, right now, how wrong she was.

"What you two do is not frivolous. Not at all!" She blurted out. They looked at her surprised. Remember what you felt in your head, Fluttershy. "Pinkie, what you do is just amazing! Parties are important! I can't count how many times they've brightened up my day! They make everypony who's ever felt alone and sad feel like they're important and noticed for once. And you go even beyond that! You brought Cranky and Matilda together. You made true love happen, Pinkie, and made those two the happiest they've ever been. I wish I could do something half as important as your work!" Pinkie was tearing up, appreciating the kind words. Fluttershy turned to Rarity.

"And Rarity! You know me. I see myself in the worst light. But when I put on one of your dresses, it's one of the only times I feel, well, beautiful. And that beauty comes straight from that heart you give each and every one of your pieces. I can't imagine how many other ponies feel the same way. But even beyond the work, you two are always there to cheer me up, and I appreciate that so much. I really, really do." Fluttershy was choking up now just as Pinkie and Rarity let their tears flow. "And I am so sorry I made you guys feel like you weren't important to me, cause you are!"

"Oh, Fluttershy!" they both exclaimed at once. They shared a tight hug, letting the sadness and regret flow out. A few minutes passed before they let go. 

"Now that that's done," Rarity sniffed, "we have drastic business to take care of."

"Definitely! Twilight and Spike are arguing and Rainbow's just locked herself away in her house! None of them will let us in! We don't know what's going on!"

Fluttershy eyes widened as she remembred what she said to each of them. Oh my. "I, um, said some really nasty things to them. Really nasty." She looked down in disgrace.

Rarity sighed in disappointment, making Fluttershy slink even more in self-disgust. "Oh, Fluttershy. It's just awful what's happening! Twilight and Spike are tearing their bond apart!"

"I'm sorry. This is my problem, so I'll fix it. I'm the only one who can."

With that, she took off, hoping that the situations weren't too far gone.