Chapter Four:
Take This Bread
The whole issue had come about, Rarity supposed later, because the Cutie Mark Crusaders had decided that they needed rum to be proper Cutie Mark Crusader Pirates.
Of course, Applejack wasn't about to give them hard liquor, so she made a deal with them; if they helped her with some farm work, she would make them some apple cider, which, she assured them, was very similar to rum.
Because of this, Applejack found herself with some free time. She was glad to get it, as she had been doing extra work because of Big Mac's injuries. She decided to go help Rarity, who was about to take Big Mac through his afternoon stretches. Applejack went into Big Mac's room as Rarity was removing the first splint.
"Ya really got the girls all fired up 'bout being pirates," Applejack informed him. "Not that Ah'm complaining mind you. 'Least this time Ah've been able to get some free work out of 'em."
Big Mac chuckled.
"Well, maybe ya can convince 'em that wolves like pullin' plows after Ah read 'em The Jungle Book."
Rarity laughed at that. She was happy to see Big Mac reading to the children. She had often tried to get Sweetie Belle to read in the past, but she'd never seemed to manage.
"A harness is fairly similar to a dog sled," she pointed out.
As she said this, she used her magic to grip Big Mac's leg. Rarity looked at him, and he gave her a nod. She straightened out his leg while he winced in pain.
Both Rarity and Big Mac were fairly used to the routine by then, but it was all new to Applejack. Her eyes widened at seeing the pain Big Mac was clearly in.
"Does that hurt a lot?" she asked Big Mac after Rarity released his leg.
"Well," he said, not wanting to complain, "It don't not hurt."
Rarity made an annoyed sound at his atrocious grammar.
"But don't those herbs Zecora gave us help?" Applejack persisted.
Rarity prepared to stretch the next leg as she replied, "Well, Applejack, I'm sure they help somewhat, but they don't remove all sensation."
Applejack tried to hide her reaction throughout the rest of the session, but it was clear she was troubled at seeing what Big Mac had to go through several times a day.
Later, everypony gathered around the table for supper. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were still obsessing about pirates; Scootaloo was wearing an eye-patch, Apple Bloom had on a three-cornered hat made out of newspaper, and Sweetie Belle had taped a small curved branch to her hoof in approximation of a hook.
"Pass me the brorrrrrrccoli first mate Apple Bloom," Sweetie Belle growled.
"Say please, Sweetie Belle," Rarity instructed her.
Sweetie Belle whispered something to Scootaloo, who nodded.
"Apple Bloom! Bring me that wench's hoof!" Scootaloo commended.
Rarity let Apple Bloom grab her hoof and pull it towards Scootaloo. Scootaloo slapped a piece of paper into Rarity's hoof, although it took several attempts due to her lack of depth perception.
Rarity looked at the blank piece of paper.
"I don't get it," she said.
"Turn it over," Sweetie Belle instructed.
Rarity did so, and gave a mock gasp at the marking on the other side.
"The Black Spot!" she said dramatically. "Whatever shall become of me? Perhaps some brave steed will save me." She batted her eyes at Big Macintosh.
Scootaloo said, "Big Mac won't save you, he's our leader Long John Silver!"
"Why's he Long John Silver?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Because he can't use his legs," Scootaloo replied. "Duh."
Big Mac said, "'Fore there's bloodshed, Ah need to quench my thirst. Why don't one'a ya ruffians go an fetch me some water?"
"Ah'll do it," Applejack volunteered. She took his empty cup into the kitchen.
"What should we do with our prisoner, the fair Rarity?" Sweetie Belle asked, in her most gravelly voice.
"And Applejack too!"
"How'd Ah get caught?" Applejack asked, as she returned to Big Mac a filled cup.
"You was the captain," Apple Bloom told her.
Scootaloo continued, "But under the traitorous cook Long John Macintosh, we mutinied and captured the ship!"
Applejack shook her head. "Betrayed by my own brother. Shameful."
"What should we do with 'em?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Keelhaul them!"
"Maroon them on an island!"
"Hang 'em from a tree!"
"Slit their throats an' let the buzzards pick 'em clean."
Everyone looked in shock at the grinning Granny Smith.
"Um, what does our leader, Long John Macintosh say?" Sweetie Belle asked.
Big Mac pondered the issue.
"I think," he said, "we should leave 'em be for now."
The Cutie Mark Crusaders' faces fell.
"…So that we can make 'em walk the plank later when the sharks are out!" Big Mac continued.
"Yay!" the three fillies shouted.
"Sharks love the taste of pony," Sweetie Belle said authoritatively.
They spent the rest of the dinner describing how they Rarity and Applejack would almost die and then escape, each attempt to execute them and subsequent escape more convoluted then the last.
*****
After dinner the fillies helped Applejack and Granny Smith clean up while Rarity took Big Mac back to his room for the last set of stretches for the day.
Big Mac had was in an unusually boisterous mood that evening; he had gradually gotten louder and louder as dinner had gone on, getting more and more involved in the Cutie Mark Crusaders' antics. He was even humming a tune as he was wheeled back into his room.
He turned to Rarity as she began to remove a splint.
"Ya know, ya a real pretty filly," he said, slurring his words slightly.
"Oh...well...thank you," Rarity said, caught off guard by the unexpected compliment.
"Ah reckon, Ah reckon yer jus' 'bout the prettiest mare Ah ever laid eyes on," he continued.
Rarity narrowed her eyes. She didn't mind flattery, but it wasn't like Big Mac to be this forward.
"Did you have any cider with dinner?" she asked, trying to figure out his sudden forthrightness. "Perhaps some of the...harder...variety?"
"Ah ain't touched a drop," he vowed. "Ah jus' think iss 'bout time Ah tol' ya wha' Ah think."
Rarity shook her head at his slurred speech. The painkillers could do it, she reasoned, but he never took enough to affect him this much.
It was when she straightened out his leg and he barely seemed to feel it, that something in her mind clicked together.
"Applejack," she said flatly.
She must have given him extra painkillers with dinner, after having seen how much pain he had been in that afternoon.
Rarity went through the routine while patiently enduring Big Mac's drunken ramblings, and occasional adulations. By the time she had moved on to the lotions, he had moved on to song.
"…You'd think by now Ah'd know, what a mess you'd make a me…"
Sensing a presence, Rarity spun around to see the three Cutie Mark Crusaders poking their heads into the room.
"You three go to bed," she commanded, while Big Mac continued in his deep baritone obliviously.
"What's—" Sweetie Belle started;
"Now!" Rarity snapped. The fillies darted away as Rarity turned back to her work.
"Everybody knows, everybody sees; I guess everybody's jus' smarter 'en me, some things ya jus' can' teach, a slow learner!"
Rarity rolled her eyes as she finished up and started to put his splints back on. By the time she was done he had begun to fall asleep; and a snore accompanied her as she exited his room.
Tired, she headed for the room she normally shared with Sweetie Belle (though tonight the three fillies were all sleeping in Apple Bloom's room).
She passed in front of Applejack's room. For a moment she was tempted to go in and confront her, but when she stopped in front of the door she suddenly heard loud, and decidedly fake sounding, snoring from within.
Rolling her eyes, Rarity continued down the hall. She stopped by Apple Bloom's room to check on them, hearing giggling as she opened the door.
"Are you girls about to go to bed?" she asked.
"Yes," the three chorused.
"Hey, sis?" Sweetie Belle called out as Rarity started to withdraw.
"Yes?"
"Does Big Mac," she stifled a giggle, "does he really think you're 'the prettiest mare he ever saw?'"
The other two burst out laughing. Rarity hoped the dark light would conceal her blush.
"Well, I think," she struggled for an answer, and finally settled on the same solution chosen by every adult when asked an embarrassing question by a child: pass the buck on to someone else.
"I think you should ask Big Macintosh that," she said firmly. "Now go to bed."
*****
Big Mac poked surly at his oatmeal the next morning, his mood in sharp contrast to that of the previous night.
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo trotted into the kitchen.
"Morning, Big Mac," Apple Bloom said.
Big Mac grunted in response. The three young ponies got some oatmeal and seated themselves around the kitchen table.
Scootaloo poked Apple Bloom in the side.
"Hey Big Mac, Ah had kinda a problem," Apple Bloom said, trying to look nonchalant.
"What's that, sugarcube?" he asked.
"Well," she said, "Ah thought ya tol' me Ah was the prettiest filly ya'd ever saw."
If someone had come along with a razor and shaved the coat off Big Mac's face, nopony would have been able to tell because of how red his face had turned.
Sweetie Belle asked, "Do you really think my sister's pretty?"
"Ah think..." Big Mac struggled to find someone else he could turn the fillies attention to.
"Ah think y'all ought to learn to be a bit more serious," he ended lamely.
He glanced down at his untouched water. "Hey, how's 'bout one a ya do me a favor…"
Author's Notes:
The chapter's title, "Take This Bread," is a Felice Brother's song. The song Big Mac sings is called "Slow Learner," by the Nashville Bluegrass Band.