-The Proposition-
Twilight Sparkle tried to think of the chain of events that had led her to ask Rainbow Dash for relationship advice, but she was drawing a blank. Even as she trotted up to the blue pegasus who was lounging on a low flying cloud on the outskirts of town, she maintained that this idea would end in nothing but disaster for herself.
And yet she couldn’t stop herself from calling out, “Rainbow Dash? Can we talk for a minute?”
Rainbow Dash flipped over, slowly, onto her stomach and looked down at the purple unicorn with a puzzled expression softened by drowsiness.
She rubbed one of her eyes with a hoof and let loose a yawn. “Hey Twilight. What’s up?”
Twilight’s tail twitched behind her, “Well… I need some advice.”
Rainbow Dash smiled lazily, obviously still not completely awake, “So you came to me? Can’t blame you; I am full of great advice. What can I do for you?”
There was still a chance to back out, Twilight realized. The temptation to throw out some nonsense about racing techniques or weather patterns was strong, but apparently Twilight was still not in control of her tongue.
“How would you express interest in another pony?”
Rainbow Dash blinked blearily, “What?”
Twilight chewed on her bottom lip, “What I mean to say is… What if, hypothetically, you’re interested in another pony, romantically…?”
Comprehension dawned on the pegasus and all traces of sleep disappeared from her face with a loud guffaw. Rainbow Dash flopped onto her back, clutching her torso with her front hooves and kicking her back ones out behind her, laughing heartily as tears began to stream down her cheeks.
Twilight began to regret not following her earlier instincts.
“You mean… *snort* you? *Snicker* You’re crushing on somepony?” Her giggles increased in volume and she had to take a few deep breaths before she could continue, “This is too good! Who? What pony are we talking about?”
Twilight frowned, “Th-that’s really not the point. Is it really that funny?”
Rainbow Dash flipped over again to look Twilight in the eyes, “Funny? It’s hilarious! Come on! Who is it?”
Twilight’s ears flicked back and she broke eye contact to stare at her hooves, “Are you going to help me or not?”
“Why don’t you look it up in “The Egghead’s Guide to Romance”?” She began giggling again.
Twilight looked back up at the pegasus who was now fully awake and seated on her haunches covering her muzzle with her forehooves. Her wings trembled a little at her sides as she laughed.
Twilight could feel her cheeks burning. Was it really so crazy that she could have a romantic interest in somepony? Why in the wide world of Equestria had she sought, out of all the ponies she could have asked, this particular pegasus’ counsel? The rational side of her brain chastised her; after all, she had sat and thought logically about the whole scenario. Fluttershy probably wasn’t the best pony to ask about something as daring as expressing feelings of infatuation, Rarity would no doubt get caught up in some grand scheme that was better suited for cheesy romance novels than real life, and Applejack… Twilight felt odd at the thought of asking Applejack for such advice even though she was easily the most level-headed of her friends; she couldn’t place it, but it just didn’t seem proper to ask Applejack for this kind of guidance. And Pinkie Pie… well that much was obvious.
Rainbow Dash though… while Twilight had known she would get laughed at, it just seemed like the pegasus would be just daring enough to have some good ideas. If she could get just one great proposal then it would be worth it.
Rainbow Dash finally settled down, wiped the tears from her eyes, and nodded down to Twilight, “Alright. I’ll help you out, egghead.”
“Really?”
Rainbow Dash waved a hoof, “Yeah yeah. All you’ve got to know is that you can’t do things halfway.”
Twilight cocked her head to the side in confusion, “What do you mean?”
Rainbow Dash hopped to her hooves and thrust her chest out, “It’s not a game, you know?” She flapped her wings behind her and sent tufts of cloud flying with a stomp of her hoof, “You’ve got to show that pony that you’re the best! That no other pony is better than you are!” As if to make her point she leapt into the air, twirled in a backflip, and landed gracefully on the ground next to Twilight.
She grabbed the unicorn around the shoulders and flexed her other arm with a grin, “Once they realize that such an awesome pony wants into their life… Bam! You’ve got em!”
Twilight’s brow furrowed in thought, “But how? How do you go about expressing interest while simultaneously making sure they know you’re a great pony to be around?”
Rainbow Dash chuckled, “Well. Some of us don’t need to remind anypony how awesome we are.”
Twilight shot the pegasus a dirty look.
Rainbow Dash shrugged, “Make it big.”
“Big?”
“Yeah. Make it a spectacle! Don’t just tell them you wanna be bosom-buddies, show them. Make it passionate! Go all out!”
Twilight wasn’t getting any less confused. In fact, she might have been more befuddled now than ever.
“Perhaps some examples?”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, “Fine. Say you were going to write in the clouds, “Go out with me, Pony-that-I-like.” That’s boring. That’s been done a hundred million times. Instead, you grab them and take them to a volcano.”
“Um. A volcano?”
Rainbow Dash nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah! And at the volcano you use a funnel technique to send lava into the air where you spell out “Go out with me.” Who could possibly refuse that?”
Twilight began wondering if Rarity would have been the pony with the less ridiculous ideas after all.
Twilight shook her head, “A volcano? Rainbow Dash, how am I supposed to swoop somepony off their hooves and take them to a volcano? Not to mention that’s borderline foalnapping. Don’t you have some… less crazy ideas?”
Rainbow Dash turned her back to Twilight with a snap of her tail, “Just as I thought. Trust an egghead to not know a good idea like that when it hits her in the face.”
Twilight swallowed a groan, “Can you at least give me an idea that a unicorn can use. No wings, remember?”
Rainbow Dash glanced over her shoulder, giving Twilight a quick onceover.
“Fine.” She spun around with an odd smile spread across her cheeks, “I’ve got an awesome idea. Wait till you hear this one!”
--Author's Note--
Hey look! Notes go at the end not in the description!
Now let's see if I can figure out how submitting things in chapters works!
I know this is short, and originally I had planned just to upload it all in one piece when I was finished, but I have a break here in my manuscript anyway and the story is getting a little long so it can probably stand to be broken up a little
So this is a teaser for my next project. This one was in the works before I sat down and pounded out "Alliteration" so I've been playing with the idea for a little bit and I think it should be fun!
No boarderline clop this time, guys, just good old family fun. :)