Chapter 4: Yu-Gi-Oh!
"Cassandra, I challenge you to a duel!" said Yami Yugi
"Very well, I accept" said Cassandra. She drew her .40 Smith & Wesson, "Now draw yours."
"What kind of freak are you?" demanded Yugi, "to not realize I implicitly meant playing a card game?"
"Probably a good idea, I am a fairly good shot. Ok, I'll play you."
They shuffled and drew their cards. Yugi went first. "I play Gazelle, King of Mythical Beasts in attack mode!"
"I summon Gemini Elf in attack mode, and have it attack your Gazelle!"
"Oh no!" exclaimed Yugi over-dramatically
"I don't know why you're so surprised, there are tons of level 4 monsters with more attack than that, hell none of the level 4 monsters in my deck have less than 1800 ATK."
"Fine, I place one card face down on the field and end my turn."
"I play Gradius in attack mode" said Cassandra, "then Limiter Removal. Next I attack..." she began cautiously, knowing Yugi might have placed a trap, "...directly. No trap then? Okay, guess I win"
"but.. how?" said Yugi in utter disbelief, "The duel never ends while someone has a card facedown on the table! My Black Luster Ritual was supposed to protect me!"
"Yugi I don't think you understand cause and effect."
"And how did I not draw Black Luster Soldier when I needed it?" he demanded.
"Are you asking me how it's possible that you didn't draw one specific card from a randomly-shuffled deck of 40?"
"Your looks would win you first prize in any dressage contest in the world, but you speak nonsense!" he exclaimed, "I believed in the heart of the cards!"
"Can I give you some advice? Play chess. You're a top-notch strategist, but you should not be doing card games if the concept of probability is this foreign to you."
"There is no time for me to reject your advice! Marik has kidnapped my friends!"
"Oh no!" said Cassandra. "Hey, this is unrelated, but as long as I have my gun out, I was really itching to show off my shooting skills."
"I suppose we have time for a little" sad Yugi. He threw a card in the air. Cassandra took aim and fired, landing 12 perfectly clean shots in the shape of her face.
*****
Yugi lay defeated at the foot of the tower, having just lost to Marik.
"Muwahahaha! Who dares challenge me now!" laughed Marik
"I do!" responded Cassandra
"Just who and what are you?" demanded Marik
"My name is Cassandra, and I am... the Queen of Games. I challenge you to a duel!"
Marik brought out his Egyptian God Card, and used its special ability to boost its power by all but one of his life points. Which was a pretty stupid thing to do really, because there are hundreds of cards that do direct damage, so Cassandra played Hinotama and won the duel.
"You're doing it wrong!" whined Marik, "you can't win without defeating my Egyptian God Card!
"Really?" asked Cassandra, "does it say that in the rules?"
Marik pulled out a pamphlet labelled "Ra's Effects" and began speed reading through it. He took a magic marker and began writing furiously, "It does now!" he proclaimed
"Yeah, I don't think so. Accept your loss like a real man"
"Well, then I guess my plans to rule the world are foiled," pouted Marik.
In the background, Yugi had picked up Cassandra's gun.
"Hey can I keep this?" he asked.
"Sure thing, champ" replied the beautiful Queen of Games.
"Also I would also like to write a letter to your Princess Celestia. Would you deliver it for me when you get back?"
"It would be my honor."
Yugi snapped his fingers at Tristan, who took out a quill and paper. "Dear Princess Celestia. It was an honor to meet your ever-wise long-lost sister. In my short time, I have learned a lot from her. Games are a fun distraction, but true rewards are earnt. Duel Monsters has carried me quite far in life, but at the end of the day, it's heavily dependent on luck. Winning every time is an unrealistic expectation, and I've boxed myself in to the point where I could lose everything from drawing one bad hand. Most glaringly of all, I just realized that the bad guys have no incentive to honor their agreement even if I do win the duel. For these reason, I will henceforth use this gun to solve all my problems..."
"You know what?" interjected Cassandra, "I changed my mind, I'm not delivering that." She snatched up the letter and tore it to pieces. "Right, I think I've done about all I can here. I'll be taking my leave."
"Take me with you" begged Téa, "I want to learn about the magic of Friendship too."
"Your call, Yugi" said Cassandra.
"Cassandra, I love you too much to subject you to a lifetime with Téa." he replied soberly.
Cassandra leapt through a portal and was gone. In her honor, the Egyptian God Cards were all renamed Cassandra.