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// A Meal, a Show, and Some Knowledge for Dessert 
// Story: Cause, Effect, and Consequences 
// by Coltsguy 
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I woke up, thankfully, in the same place as I had fallen asleep in. I guess knowing that Discord was free and in the general area had let my mind work up some scenarios that seemed a bit ridiculous now. I didn’t feel much better, but I blame that on the fact that I was still in a tower in a castle. It shouldn’t have bothered me, and yet I couldn’t help it.

I shook off the bedding and rolled to the side of the bed. I then sat up and placed my feet on the floor. I didn’t really feel too bad for a change. It was probably one of the better nights’ sleep I’d had in a long time. I couldn’t remember much of my dream other than a weird scene where I was talking with Pinkie Pie and Twilight. Normally I would dismiss it as a dream and maybe replay it a few times in my head before it disappeared into the void of my subconscious if it was really enjoyable. However, there was the fact that I was now in the same vicinity as Pinkie Pie and Twilight.

This brought about a new problem. It was entirely possible that I was having a precognitive dream about the conversation. I had them from time to time. They were rare for me, but they were always a possibility. Of course, they also were always really boring. Nothing exciting happened in them and they were always just exceedingly random. Then again, to my knowledge, I had never once dreamed of ponies.

At that point, I realized that I was just thinking and getting nowhere with it. I reached down and put my shoes on. After that, I got up and walked all of the two steps over to the end table with my stuff and looked at it again. Other than the coin and the toothbrush, I decided to leave everything there. I didn’t need any of the rest of it then and I could always come get it later. Still, I wasn’t looking forward to the trips I might have to make back and forth so I decided to pocket the DS as well and then proceeded to the lavatory of the room. After taking care of all my business in there and lamenting the fact that I didn’t bring a comb or beard trimmer, I went back to the table, put on my hat, and exited out of the tower and into the new day.

As I made my way down the tower, I couldn’t help but notice the lack of wind. I don’t think I noticed it despite the fact that I was worried about it on the way up. However, without the sunset and the escort I had realized that despite how high up I was there wasn’t any wind at all. Anybody who’s been in a high altitude area knows that there is always a wind. It’s part of how weather works. Then again, knowing how weather works here it may just be something that doesn’t exist since nature is being taken care of by the local species instead. Or it could be just in the general vicinity since it would look bad to have it happen in the presence of the royalty.

With a readjustment of my hat, I made my way carefully down the stairs. It took a bit less time than going up, but when I made it to the bottom, there were two guards waiting for me. I simply saluted them like I always try to do when I see on duty military. It’s something I did since my dad was in the military for as long as I could remember. They didn’t really seem to regard it one way or another. Their training was in top form, I think.

“Princess Celestia would like you to join her as her guest for breakfast. If you would follow us.”

As I simply nodded and followed him, I was a bit surprised that I was actually awake for breakfast. It’s not that I’m lazy or anything.

...Okay, I’m kind of lazy. Shut up.

Anyway, I don’t sleep well almost all the time. Therefore, I end up getting up just around the time people are usually transitioning to lunch. As such, I was actually happy about the fact that I felt at least better rested and up at a normal or so time. At least, I hoped it was a normal time. My watch was still set to the time from back home.

It took about ten minutes before we made it to the dining hall. As I stood just outside the doorway, I took in the room itself. Honestly, it was pretty much what I was expecting. There was a large room with a long, white table that reached to both ends of the room, banners of red and gold in between each window, tiled floors that seemed to purvey in each and every part of the castle. If it wasn’t so cliche it might be interesting to look at.

Sitting at the table was everyone who was in the throne room when I arrived, save for Discord. They all seemed to regard me a few moments after I entered the room proper. Celestia broke the silence first.

“Greetings, Seth. Was your night here a restful one for once?”

I scoffed quickly at her acquired knowledge thanks to that scrying spell.

“It was for a change. That bed is much more comfortable than what I’m used to.”

“I am glad to hear it. Breakfast has been prepared and you are invited to join us,” she practically beamed at me.

I quickly took the hint and made to sit down at the end of the table.

“Come now,” Celestia said, stopping me in my tracks. “I would like you to sit over here next to me. We have many things to discuss with everyone here and many of them pertain to you.”

I kind of winced at that. Well, that and how she said everyone since I never remember hearing that coming from ponies. Therefore, I made my way down over to where Celestia was. Along the way, I passed several of the ponies I had reaquainted myself with last night, including Shining Armor who gave me a ‘you better be on your best behaviour’ glare. Of course, when I got to my designated seat I hesitated for a moment before sitting down. Even though I knew all of them, they didn’t really know me anymore and so I was fixated by several measuring looks. I did my best to not let it get to me, but that was one of my many faults.

“It has been nearly a year since we have last seen you Seth,” Celestia informed me. “How have you been faring since then?”

I really wanted to get into it, but of all the ponies present, only she and Luna had any idea of who I was. There was also the fact that Luna wasn’t even aware of my life on Earth so talking about it seemed a little out of place. Instead, I opted for a more subtle answer.

“Eh, not that great, but what can you do? “

“I see,” she said succinctly.

I hoped that she wouldn’t delve any further, but that hope was quickly dashed.

“Would you care to elaborate at all?” she asked as sweetly as possible.

I really didn’t want to bring it up in front of the others for the previous reasons, but I didn’t think that she would leave me alone with the look she was giving me.

“Well, I lost my job a week after I got back, I had to move to a new place that was really cheap, and my car got destroyed. So yeah, that happened.”

I got several looks from the assembled group. At least I assumed so. I had just stared down at the table while talking so I didn’t have to look around at everyone. Getting scrutinized isn’t exactly a pleasant feeling.

“You have my sympathies in regards to what has transpired,” Celestia responded.

“It’s fine,” I responded. “I’m more upset as to why I was fired than any of the rest of it.”

“And what, pray tell, was the reason for it?” asked Luna.

My surprise in hearing Luna ask that was quickly lost in my anger at what had happened long ago.

“Oh, I got fired because I gave a guest a hug.”

“What!?!”

I looked up in surprise from Pinkie’s outburst.

“That’s terrible! Why would they do that?”

“It is proper decorum where he is from,” Celestia explained.

“Normally, I’d be agreeing with Celestia, but she was the one who asked for a hug in the first place. I mean, the store’s motto is ‘fast, fun, and friendly’, so why wouldn’t I give them a hug if they asked for one?” I said; getting a little upset in the process.

“It still wasn’t your place to do so,” Celestia commented.

“Well, I still think it’s ridiculous and that I shouldn’t have been fired for that reason alone,” I said while still feeling upset about it.

“You’re telling me!” Pinkie interrupted. “That sounds super duper mean! Why would anypony not want to keep you if you gave out free hugs?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, Pinkie,” I answered.

As I finished with that statement, our food arrived from a different room. We quelled any more talk while our food was laid out in front of us. I wasn’t quite sure what I would be getting to eat since, you know, omnivore and all that jazz. It turned out to be not too different. I ended up being served scrambled eggs and toast. Not bad at all.

As I took my first bite of eggs, which were delicious I might add, Celestia decided to resume our conversation.

“So Seth, are the events that transpired what made you decide to come back to Equestria? You do know that we may not be able to send you back for some time.”

“They were an influence on it for sure. I guess I just got tired of how things were going for me. Yeah, I get the feeling that I’m going to miss things more than I thought down the road from now, but I think I needed to do this. I just… Well, I just think that’s what was the best thing for me to do given the situation.”

“Dost thou realize how poor of a reason that is?” asked Luna.

“I guess so. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m here now.”

As I said that, I caught another glimpse of Shining Armor. He was using his magic to eat, but at the same time it seemed to me that he hadn’t taken his eyes off of me the entire time I had been here. In a poor sense of the situation, I decided to call him out on it.

“You know, Shining, I think your wife is going to get jealous of you staring at me for so long.”

“I’m just keeping my eye on you,” he responded. “That’s all.”

“There’s keeping an eye out, and then there’s just plain creepy staring and you really seem to be straddling that line, dude.”

“I may not be the head of Princess Celestia’s Royal Guard anymore, but I still feel the need to keep an eye out for anything that seems like a threat to the crown. You may have the trust of the Princesses, but you haven’t earned mine.”

I was going to ask why he felt that way, but then I remembered the conversation with Celestia from before. He didn’t remember me from the time before. He didn’t remember that I helped return his sister home. Then again, my limited contact with him really may not have been enough to get him to trust me then either. Assuming things is kind of making me look like an ass now.

“So, for the record, it’s because you don’t trust me? That’s why you're giving me the stink eye?” I asked with a hint of pointless frustration.

“That’s correct,” he said flatly. “No one has ever heard of your species other than the Princesses, and they seem to be rather eager to trust you for reasons that they refuse to give to the rest of us. I don’t like trusting anypony without giving me just cause to do so.”

At that point, I remembered that for most people, trust had to be earned. Even if it may have been the opposite here, there were some cases where that still held true. Shining Armor was a prime example of that. However, I also knew that there was but one way and one way only that, for some reason, seemed to bring everyone here together no matter what. I just hoped that I didn’t suck too badly at it.

I motioned Celestia to lean in towards me and when she did, I whispered my plan to her. After a chuckle and a nod, I pulled my chair out and stood up.

“What are you doing?”

“If there’s one thing that seems to bring everyone together around here, it’s singing. I don’t really like doing it, but if I need to do it so that you’ll all feel better, then that’s what I’m going to do.”

“What in the name of Equestria-” Shining Armor began, only to get interrupted by my singing and the the appropriate music that I believe was provided from Celestia.

“Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.
She was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape, of an L, on her forehead.”

As I made that motion on my own forehead, I broke out into a bad rendition of ‘All Star’ by Smashmouth. It was probably the only song I knew by heart, through and through. It made me quite the spectacle as well. I didn’t just stand there and sing. This was Equestria and it made sure that I went went around the table from pony to pony while singing and gesturing to each of them. Now personally, there were only two parts I really liked during the rendition. The first was when Celestia started whistling after the second chorus like in the song. Everyone was really surprised at that and I was also glad she did it since I couldn’t whistle myself. It also helped lighten the mood quite a bit. The second was when I had reached the moment just before the final chorus. In the music video for this song, everyone in the video pumped their right fist in the air and shouted ‘Go!’ all at the same time. Here was no different. Everyone from me, to the girls, to the rulers, and even Shining Armor pumped their right forehoof, or right hand in my case, into the air on perfect cue. I’d expected no less from such a perfect musical world. Too bad my singing was on a higher key than the original or it would have been perfect in every way. As the song came to a close, I sat back in my chair while breathing a little heavy.

I kind of wish I had said something snappy after all of the pizazz. Unfortunately, I’m not witty until about ten minutes after the moment passes. I’m not perfectly witty until at least a day passes. Either way, I couldn’t come up with that perfect one liner after I had finished and taken my seat. Instead, Pinkie took the initiative.

“That was fun!”

“I’ll admit that it wasn’t as terrible as I had expected it to be,” I followed up with.

“And what exactly did you hope to accomplish by singing that little number?” asked Shining Armor.

“Well, maybe coming off less like a threat and more like a goofy idiot?”

“That’s kinda what got offa that,” chimed in Applejack.

"That's pretty much all I got from that," added Rainbow Dash.

“Stupid memory loss razza frazzle,” I mumbled to myself.

“While this may have been slightly entertaining,” Luna interrupted, “we believe that we should discuss the matters pertaining to Seth’s foreseeable future.”

“Indeed,” added Celestia. “While sending Seth home would be the proper course of action, it will still take Discord some time to build up enough energy for him to open a portal back to Seth’s world.”

It made me a little sad to hear that they wanted to send me back, but I guess I understood where they were coming from. It still sucked though. I guess some happy, little fantasy life in Equestria wasn't my destiny.

“Why do we need Discord’s help anyway?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“Discord is the only one of us who knows the proper spell matrix required for the spell to work and his chaos magic is required to be especially strong for it to succeed. Of course, perhaps Seth could lend some of his chaos magic to Discord in order to speed things along.”

That got everyone’s attention back onto me.

“You can use chaos magic?” asked many of the ponies at the same time.

“No, I can’t. Celestia, I thought that I told you that already in my letter.”

“Chaos magic recharges around acts of chaos. Surely some magic should have returned to you since then,” she rebutted.

“It might have if Discord hadn’t taken every last speck of magic out of me when I got back. He took everything I had and everything from the coin before he left, so no magic was left in me whatsoever.”

“If that is so, then why do I detect a magical aura around you?” she asked.

“Discord magically enhanced my body slightly so that I could survive the trip through. It’s a bit different than the other places I’ve been to. He told me that if he didn’t to it then my body would be ‘ripped to shreds,’” I said in air quotes.

“I see,” she answered contemplatively. “Then it seems we are back to the original problem. Discord needs time to recharge and thus brings me back to the topic beforehand. Since it will take some time for Discord to gain the amount of energy necessary, we have decided that we will need to move Seth to a more semi-permanent lodging.”

“What exactly does that mean?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“The guest rooms in the castle are usually only for temporary accommodations for dignitaries and good friends of mine. They are not meant to be used for the amount of time that it will take for Discord to regain his magic. Therefore, we have come up with another solution.”

“I really hope it isn’t me sharing some lodging with any of the ponies here.”

“Are you insinuating that any of us would not be a good host?” asked Rarity.

“Completely the opposite. It would probably take a couple of days at the most for any of you to throw me out from sheer aggravation.”

“As much as it pains me to say it, he is correct,” said Celestia. “That is why we have decided on a different location for him to occupy. It is a small cottage, much like Fluttershy’s, and like Fluttershy’s cottage it is located right next to the Everfree forest.”

That didn’t go over very well either.

“Why would you send somepony to live next to the Everfree Forest?” asked Rainbow Dash. “I can understand if he asked if he wanted to stay there since I know Flutters and AJ live next to it just fine, but sending somepony there sounds like a bad idea.”

“Hey, as long as I don’t have to live inside the forest, then that should be okay.”

I looked down after Dash gave me an ‘are you kidding?’ look. It happened to remind me that my food was getting cold so I took a bite of my eggs.

“I agree that it is a place that can be dangerous. Therefore, as a precaution, he will have Discord staying with him.”

And for the first time ever, I did a spit take.