My Clockwork Stallion
Part 4: Sticker Berry Bush
Twilight fiddled with the scarlet ribbon in her hair. It wasn’t a date. Not really. She just wanted to look nice, you know, keep her mane out of her face. Time Turner had promised her lunch a few days ago when they’d grown the bizarre bronze flower out of the clock. She didn’t even know what to think about that, but the lunch felt more important.
Approaching Sugar Cube Corner, she saw Time Turner’s backside limping into the door right before she could catch him. Did he have a limp? She’d never noticed. Huh. Following him quickly into the bakery, Twilight saw him considering tables when she stepped up next to him. “Heya,” she smiled.
“Hey!” the brown stallion greeted, nodding over towards a table. They seated themselves, and Twilight called for an oat-and-banana bread loaf. Mr. Cake nodded, working in the background while they chatted. It was a booth seat in a corner, so they could sit close together and speak privately.
“Any progress on our… flower?” Twilight said, not wanting to share with anypony just yet. If the clock was dangerous, she didn’t need ponies rubbernecking into Time Turner’s store to have a look. Time Turner shrugged a little, wilting. “Mechanism still wonky?”
“Yeah. I don’t know what’s holding the flower in place, but its either too big or two heavy for my instruments to get to. I’d hate to think I just turned your cuckoo clock into a massive metal potted plant.” Time Turner scratched his head a little. Twilight hmm’d in a troubled way, scrubbing her chin.
Meanwhile, outside the bakery, Applejack just happened by with her saddlebags full of groceries. She stopped to consider a box of crayons for Applebloom at an art supply stand of the market. She and her little friends were always drawin’ up all them crazy plans, maybe she could use more. She’d aced that thirty-word spelling test the other day… maybe a little reward was due? Nodding and smilin’ to herself, Applejack paid for a twenty-five color box. When she turned her head to put them in her saddlebags, she paused. Twilight and… some stallion? She didn’t know Twilight was dating!
Cocking her head, the farm pony smirked to herself a little. Who’d have thought Twilight would be the first to find a special somepony out of their little group? Heh! Turning away to mind her own business, she startled when she almost ran into a hay bale with eyes… and glasses… and a mustache. “Pinkie Pie?” Applejack leaned this way and that.
“Shhh! I’m in disguise!” The pink party pony said, staring unblinkingly at the window where Twilight was sitting. Applejack followed her gaze in time to see Twilight and the stallion in question laugh together. “Twilight’s on a date with some guy!”
“Eh, well that ain’t none of our business ‘till she tells us about him, is it?” Applejack said carefully, giving her friend a worried smile. She didn’t want Pinkie to get any bright ideas that might ruin their friend’s date. “He looks alright to me.”
“Yeah, but who is heeeee?!” Pinkie whined, turning her box-shaped disguise towards Applejack. “Why wouldn’t Twilight tell us about him?”
Applejack shrugged. “Well, I figure if I found a handsome stallion I’d wanna keep him to myself for a bit, y’know? Not like Twilight’s aiming to start a herd anytime soon. Let her flirt, eh?” She pulled the brim of her hat down just a little. “Besides, we got our own stuff to *HWULK!?*” Applejack was grabbed around the neck and hauled into the hay bale disguise. How both grown mares fit in there was anypony’s guess. Then, when nopony was looking, the hay bale sprouted legs and tip-toe’d to the window, under the cill.
They could hear her through the glass, as close as they were. “I know, I know!” Twilight smiled merrily, pressing another thick slab of oat-and-banana bread Time Turner’s way. “But with you, y'know, 'cleaning my clock', I get to learn so many new things!”
Applejack gaped. He was ‘cleanin’ her clock’?! Red-faced, the farm pony shuddered uncomfortably. “Ah didn’t know it was that far along, wow…” she said softly, glancing over at Pinkie. Pinkie Pie nodded mutely, still smiles. “What should we do?”
“We do what anypony does when one of their best friends has a new bed buddy!” Pinkie Pie whispered in excitement. An icy feeling went down AJ’s spine and she regretted asking her pink friend her opinion almost instantly. Bed buddy? Oh horseapples… “We gotta make contact! See what he’s like!”
“Wait what?!” Applejack shrieked, but already the hay bale was motoring away from the window and towards the door. Applejack dug her hooves into the ground, but it was earth pony versus earth pony and Pinkie Pie was an unstoppable force, even to her muscles. They waddled up the front stairs, through the door and across the gaily–tiled floor.
Pinkie Pie burst from the hay bale and the disguise came apart on the floor around her. “GREETINGS UNKNOWN MALE ENTITY!” She exploded, startling Twilight and Time Turner. A piece of bread flopped moistly to the floor. Pinkie sidled forward, throwing confetti over both of them. “I COME IN PEACE, AND BRING TIDINGS OF HAPPY WISHES FOR YOUR RECENT BEDROOM ROMPINGS!”
Twilight’s jaw fell open, her eyes turning into pinpricks. Time Turner’s face went scarlet, his expression mirroring hers. Applejack moaned, burying her face in her hat. “P-Pinkie! W-we’re n-n-not-!” Twilight stuttered, ears turning down as other ponies in the room turned to look. “Oh j-jeez…” she mumbled, sinking until her eyes were all that peeked over the table.
“I’m Pinkie Pie, nice t’meet’cha!” Pinkie was shaking Time Turner’s hoof, but the poor stallion had frozen over like a statue.
“I-I-I’m real sorry Twilight, I tried to stop her,” Applejack already had an arm around the party pony and was trying to pry her off. “C’mon now, y’big pink varmet!” the earth pony had to use all her strength to tug Pinkie off of Time Turner.
“I wanna meet him!”
“He ain’t yours to meet right now!”
“But lookit him, he looks nice!”
“He’s fine where he is!”
“I wanna throw him a party! Twilight needs a guy in her life!”
“Twilight’s doin’ fine on her own!”
“But he’s got an hourglass! Maybe that stands for extra-extra time!” Pinkie’s mind was already a little heated from the spring-time season, and had jumped in the guttera few minutes ago. “Hey, hey! Does your cutie mark stand for stamina!?” Applejack was trying to wrestle Pinkie Pie away by then, but she was practically glued to the ground where she stood.
“T-twilight?” Time Turner whispered out of the side of his mouth. “Friends of yours?” he couldn’t keep his eyes off Pinkie, nor his mind off the heat in his face and ears.
“Y-yeah, Applejack and Pinkie Pie,” Twilight whispered from where she hid under the table. “S-sorry…” she whimpered in humiliation. Pinkie had done a lot of strange things, but never something like that! Was she brainless?! Springtime could make some ponies a little crazy, but Pinkie was off the deep end.
“Uhm, Twilight…?” Time Turner whispered again.
Pinkie sank her teeth into Applejack’s foreleg when she tried to shut her up. Applejack yowled, and arguments began anew. “Yeah?” Twilight mewled softly, looking over at the stallion in embarrassment.
“Bail?” he asked softly, carefully picking up the rest of the bread loaf in his mouth.
“Oh! Oh right!” Twilight leaned into him, her horn igniting. “Bailing!” CRACK! They were gone.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
Luna sat at her desk in her private office. The single Lunar Stallion in the room sat reading, under her strict orders. If the palace insisted that she be under guard at all times, he was going to do something useful when she was in her inner sanctum. Glancing at him, she turned and pulled a portrait off the wall with her magic. Setting it gently down, she pulled the safe beyond it open. It didn’t have a combination lock, but was set to recognize her magical vibrations. Sort of like a hoofprint.
Levitating a series of yellowed scrolls from the safe, she unrolled them on her desk. Complicated drawings, plans, and mathematical impossibilities stared back at her. She smiled lovingly at it all. It really was like art. Numbers were, in Luna’s eyes, the closest pony’s would ever get to the hoof-writing of Faust. Being able to manipulate them, twist them, and reconnect them into the Clock of Five Mysteries had been a working of god-like magic. Using paperweights so the elderly scrolls wouldn’t re-curl, she pulled the top page off to study the next one.
The first mystery was the bronze flower. The symbol of budding love, it was a new beginning, and a wonderous thing to behold when it bloomed. Frail, young, and full of new life… Luna wasn’t sure Star Swirl had understood it, really. It was made of metal and plants were not metal, sure, but she’d seen his eyes light up when he’d uncovered it the first time. Such a handsome, brilliant stallion. Luna’s heart ached at the thought of him, but she dwelled on the early, happy memories she had of him. Bumping him with her hip during a walk around the palace… winking flirtily and watching his face darken in embarrassment during his studies… Luna snickered girlishly, resting her chin on a foreleg. Her guard looked up, mildly curious. She snuffle-snorted like she’d sneezed, coughing and looking more closely at her old mappings and designs of the clock she’d given to Star Swirl.
=-----=-----=-----=-----=
CRACK!!!
Twilight and Time Turner reappeared in a sticker-berry bush, flumping into a mass of arms and legs and confused wiggling. “Ow-ow-OW!” A sticker-thorn got caught in Time Turner’s ear, and he finally stopped thrashing.
Twilight groaned, almost upside down underneath him. “Oh-mi-gosh I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have teleported under stress! I was aiming for the library, I could’ve dropped us in the lake on accident!”
“Well it’s not a lake!” Time Turner flinched when another thorn dug into his ribs. Sticker Berry bushes were not good hiding places, everypony learned when they were foals. It didn’t matter how delicious the berries were, the thorns weren’t worth it. “I think it’s,” he paused, trying to get his bearings. “Ohh! Sticker berries!” he smiled, leaning to grab a couple in his teeth. “Nm nm nmm…!”
Twilight started giggling. She couldn’t help herself. She threw her arms awkwardly about his shoulders, tugging him down into an affectionate hug. A bit of juice dribbled from his chin as he smiled down at her. “At least we’re away from Pinkie and Applejack now, whew…” the purple mare shook her head in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry about that, Pinkie is a little… ehm… Pinkie,” she couldn’t find a good word for it. Time Turner smiled good naturedly, but said nothing since he was still chewing. “Are they that good?” Twilight smiled wryly at him. “Just gonna lay on me all day and eat those?”
“Nah I’ll share,” the stallion leaned and got his face scratched a few times. “Ow-ow-ow… ah!” he used his teeth and got a little bunch of berries for Twilight. Dangling them over her face, he touched her muzzle with them a few times. “Boop!” he snickered coltishly. Twilight giggle-snorted, but took them. Their muzzles touched, and she felt the warm velvet of the end of his nose. It colored her cheeks.
The purple mare tried the berries. They were tart and sugary, which made her lips pucker up like she was expecting a kiss. “They’re sour!” she complained. “Bleh!” Time Turner chuckled, favoring his good front-leg as he tried to rise and get untangled. The bush had looped one of its branches into the stirrups of his saddle. Then, like elastic, it threw him down onto Twilight. “Oof!”
“Sorry! Sorry!” He said, ears wilted. “I’m stuck! It’s my saddle.” He gestured over his shoulder with his muzzle. Twilight leaned to see, one hoof on his chest and the other on his shoulder.
Twilight’s horn lit with its usual purple glow. “Maybe I can teleport us just outside the bu-OW!” she gave a little yelp when her fidgeting sent a thorn into her cutie mark. “Or maybe just stop moving for a minute,” she went slack, panting from all the effort.
“W-well, at least it’s quieter here,” Time Turner smiled bashfully. Twilight nodded. Slowly, he let himself go slack so he could work the branch off of himself. His body was warm, firm and certainly smelled nice. Mare hormones rushed up into Twilight’s head and she panted. Just once, panted. Shaking her head quickly and glad he wasn’t looking at her, she tried not to move while he fussed with his left stirrup.
“Y’know, I sometimes wonder why we wear these. It’s not like anypony is gonna climb on my back anytime soon…” wondered Time Turner. Twilight mmm’d softly, all too aware of the heat in her face. “Almost got iiiiiit—t here! Home free!” He made to stand and was immediately assaulted by more brambles. “Oh jeez!” he complained, lowering himself onto Twilight again. “Ow… ow…” he tried to pluck one out with his teeth, but just got scratched on the cheek for his trouble.
Twilight sighed, flopping back on her back. “Maybe you should just take that off,” she said. “You’re getting caught every which way!” she fidgeted back and forth, trying to see if there was one way or another to wriggle out of their thorny prison. It didn’t look like it.
“Maybe so,” the stallion was getting all worked up, but the saddle certainly wasn’t helping. “Can you get the buckle there?” he said, his bad leg getting in the way of a few thorns as he went.
Twilight reached and gently freed his front-left leg. It was cold and clammy, unlike the rest of his warm and velvety… hyn!! Buckle! Focus on the buckle, Twilight! The young mare shook her head quickly. “Got it!” Lighting her horn in a wavering way, “Hold up! There!” she whipped the saddle off of him so hard, so fast it flew out of the bush and onto the nearby grass. “Oops…” she looked at him, ears wilted.
“Casting under stress?” Time Turner snickered. She pouted at him, but he lowered his chest and head to hers. “Hey, it’s okay,” he said softly. His coltish smile, lopsided though it was, was actually… actually kinda charming… “Hang on, I’ll get us out of here.” Using his front left leg, he gave a half-hearted whack at the thorny bush. A few of the little branches snapped. He whapped away a few more times, trying to stomp out a little path for them. But some of the branches were bendy, heavy and alive with berries. Before long his leg was decorated with stickers, thorns, and berry juice. “Not working,” he grumbled, wilting.
“S’fine,” Twilight whispered. “Let’s just uhm… let’s think here. Give me a second to breathe,” the purple mare said, mostly to herself. Time Turner lowered himself, sighing long and loud. The warmth of his chest spread across Twilight’s body, and other than his clammy leg he was very comfy, to tell the truth. “Whew… I don’t even know where we are. Can you see out?”
“No,” Time Turner mumbled, leaning back and forth to see through the brambles. “It’s too thick,” he shrugged, then went still again. He sighed, looking down at her. They stared at one another in silence. Slowly, a wry smile began to work its way across his muzzle.
“What?” Twilight wanted to know.
“’Greetings unknown male entity!’” Time Turner cackled. Twilight blushed, but snickered. “That was kinda funny, you gotta admit.” His muzzle pressed into her chest when he hunched to giggle loudly.
“W-well, it… it was a little funny,” Twilight fought a smile, but lost miserably. She began to giggle loudly. They shared the awkward laughter, hugging one another. When at last it died down, they looked into each other’s eyes. Time Turner’s lips parted just a little as he leaned over her, studying her face.
Their lips... touched. Pressed. A warm, melty feeling rushed over Twilight, and her foreleg rushed over his shoulder. It was all h-happening so fast! B-but it felt so right! It did! Smek. The kiss broke. An embarrassing line of spittle bridged the gap between them. Time Turner murred softly. They shared quiet nuzzle. The red in his cheeks spoke volumes. He went to kiss her a second time-!
The sky went from blue to white as a large shape began to fill their vision above. A shadow cast itself over the entire bush as massive wings flapped lazily up and down. “Twilight? Is that you?” A feminine voice called from above.
“ACK?!” Twilight jerked like she’d been electrocuted. “Princess Celestia?!”
“I would think there are better places than a Sticker Berry bush in the royal gardens for, ahem, that, my faithful student,” the Princess of the sun chuckled behind a gold-gilded hoof. “I found your bread and saddle, young stallion,” she gestured to one side of herself.
Time Turner went as pale as a sheet. Twilight had teleported them all the way to Canterlot!
End of Part 4