//------------------------------// // Chapter Six: Luna's Return // Story: Canterlot Inbox // by MDNGHTRDHTLN //------------------------------// “Luna, you want to do the intro this time?” “Sure. Hey, everypony. Welcome to Canterlot Inbox! We take your increasingly abrasive and strange mail and answer it so everyone can see.” “That makes it seem worse than it is.” “That’s the point. So, RD, what say we cut to the chase?” “You don’t wanna take the time to celebrate your return?” “Nope!” “Uh...okay.” “First question comes from Razalon, who says: ‘Questions for both RD and Nightma- I mean, Princess Luna: Rainbow - Every time you swear on this show I receive a bit; due to the fact that my home is inaccessible because of all the bits, could you please stop swearing? Luna - How does it feel to know there's millions of people who love you for who you are, but that they exist where you can't meet them personally or thank them for their love? P.S. - Assuming you ceased swearing, Rainbow, I happen to have some centerfolds of Thunderlane from Playfilly magazine just begging for you to take them.’ Well, first of all, Razzy, I’M NOT NIGHTMARE MOON! Secondly, it sucks. Dash, answer the question, if you please?” “Uh, sure. Will I stop swearing? Fuck no! You know what? I’m not gonna fuckin’ stop fuckin’ swearing, because every fuckin’ time I fuckin’ swear, you get a fuckin’ bit! You should be happy! I’ve made you fucking rich! Try getting in your house now!” “Yeah! Now you’ve got money! Go buy yourself a new, more spacious house!” “And I don’t want your centerfolds! I already have them!” “Really?” “No. Thunderlane never posed for Playfilly. Raz, you liar.” “Um...okay. Next question comes from moonview, who asks: ‘Dear luna, Is the moon made of cheese and if it is what type?’ No, Moon, sadly, it is not. If it were, it’d probably be Amareican." "You've crushed my dreams!" "Next question comes from StageQuill, who asks: ‘Dear Luna, What kinds of things did you do as a filly? What games did you play? Do you have any embarrassing Celestia stories you can share?’ Good question! When I was a kid, I would play with Tia a lot. We’d play Dressup, Pretend, and we’d go on adventures with Discord...it was awesome. Also, I do have some Tia stories, but I’m not allowed to talk about the Crumpet Incident or the Laundry Incident. Or the reasons why we’re banned from Stalliongrad and Appleoosa...yeah. Sorry.” “Really?” “Really. Let’s just say Tia and I party way too hard.” “Sure, sure, sure. Well, that’s our three-question quota for this episode.” “Let’s do one more.” “Wanna do one more?” “Yeah, sure.” “Let’s see...oh! Here’s one. Doctor_Brony1234 asks: 'Dear Inbox Team, Have any of you done any hardcore drugs? (P.S. LSD FTW’. First off, you should close your parentheses. Secondly, I have never done drugs. Luna? Your input?” “Remember what I said about partying hard?” “Yeah. Oh, I see.” “Yep.” “Well, I think that’ll do it for this episode of Canterlot Inbox. See you next week!”