Chapter 2--Night Mare Moon
As it turned out, Twilight had simply left to do some casual reading under a tree while I was stuck in a library with nothing to do but read. Even Spike had left to apparently buy a gift for some chick named Moon Dancer. I swear these ponies have the most fucktarded names ever. It was a generic teddy bear. He finished wrapping it and then started trying to talk to me. “So, Síor was it? What’s it like being a human?”
Not being much of a conversationalist, I simply gave him the quickest answer I could think of. “Well, for me it’s nothing new, I mean, I’ve been a human my whole life.”
At my answer, he facepalmed--or face-clawed, I guess. “Not what I meant. What do you think it would be like for somepony to suddenly become human?”
I had to think for a second. I had formed my answer, but I decided to ask him a question first: “Why do you say somepony? You’re a dragon, not a pony. Why don’t you just say someone?”
That threw him off guard. “Well, I never really thought of that. And there are other talking animals in this world than just ponies and dragons, too. I wonder why ponies do say somepony instead of someone.”
“Grow up with ponies, you start talking like them. Anyways, to answer your question, for a pony to suddenly become a human, I’d imagine it would be very disorienting. For starters, the pony would have two legs rather than four, so it would have to learn to walk on only two legs. Secondly, its eyes would then be facing forward, not to the sides. The addition of fingers and toes would be something new. Not to mention changing the positions and sizes of most of the sensory organs, being eyes, ears, and nose. The pony would have far less hair and no tail. You’d be taking a natural born prey animal, an herbivore, and turning it into a hunter-gatherer, an omnivore. Such a drastic change would be very, very disorienting, as I said.”
“Huh. What if a dragon like me turned into a human?”
“Well, for a dragon like you, it wouldn’t be much different. Add a little hair and lose the tail and spines and the fire breath and you're pretty much human. But if full-sized dragons here are anything like they are in the legends on my world, it would shrink dramatically, lose the wings, lose the tail, lose the spines and it would not breath fire anymore. Changing a carnivore into and omnivore isn’t too drastic a change other than the size difference and the natural weapons; humans had to make weapons to be dangerous, but our minds are our greatest attributes. Put a smart human in a room with any material he could ask for and he could build anything. Of course, the best inventions come from observing the world around you. But I digress, any more hypothetical questions? Or just questions in general?”
“None off the top of my head. Well, I’m gonna go to Moon Dancer’s party. Don’t burn down the library.”
“After what happened to the Library of Alexandria, I would never think of it. Even if that library was never burned, I would still never burn down such a sacred building of knowledge.”
“You’re starting to sound like Twilight. I’m gonna go before I catch the nerdiness.”
I shrugged, “Eh, suit yourself. I’m on library lockdown until jailmaster Twilight says I can go. I’m just gonna stay here and read.”
“Whatever, see ya Sí.”
I chuckled at the nickname. I never thought I would ever be nicknamed the Spanish word for yes. Oh well, c’est la vie. My musings were interrupted by a determined-looking--at least I think that’s what it was, I haven’t learned how to read pony expressions yet--Twilight. She slammed the door in Spike’s face which, despite being fucking hilarious, was kind of rude and dangerous. This caused Spike to break the present he had, making all the fluffy cotton spill out of the cute little teddy bear.
Before I knew what was happening, Twilight had me searching for some book called Predictions and Prophecies. I started searching but immediately stopped when I realized something. “Hey, Twi,” I could tell she didn’t like me calling her that. “What’s the categorical system of this library?”
“What do you mean? Anypony can tell that everything is organized by similarity.”
“Yeah, I know but what are the groups. You know, like reference or fiction or children’s.”
“I still don’t understand. The books are simply organized however I deem fit.”
“And you don’t see a problem in that?”
“Of course not, why would that be a problem?”
“Well, what if someone else wanted to find a book and couldn’t, or what if a book is in one spot one day and someone comes back to find it the next day and it isn’t there?”
“Hmm, I guess I never thought of that. How do humans organize books?”
“Well, we have this thing called the Dewey Decimal System. I never understood it or took the time to research it but I think it sorts books alphabetically by the author’s last name. Personally, I think it’s a terrible system because it requires the person looking for a book to know who wrote it. I prefer to organize books, and just about everything else I own--or owned--alphabetically by title. Thus a book titled Predictions and Prophecies would be between Predetermined Events and Preposterous Fortune Telling.” I punctuated that statement by pulling out the requested book which was nowhere near any other p-titled books. “And voila!”
“Why didn’t I think of that? So simple! So practical! So me!”
“Yeah, whatever. Here’s your book. I’m going back to reading since that’s all I can really do in this prison of mine.”
She wasn’t paying any mind to my hidden complaints but rather looking through her book for something. “Elements, elements, e, e, e.”
“Elements, you say? You mean the Elements of Harmony?”
“How do you know about the Elements of Harmony?”
“One of the books I read mentioned them. Some sort of stones that, when brought together, can release immense and unpredictable power. Apparently there was a lot that happened 1000 years ago because they were used against at least three or four villains. Why do you need to know about them?”
“Well, I thought I had heard of them before and they sounded like something that might be in this book. I was still looking while you were talking and it brought me to this article about Night Mare Moon. it says that she was imprisoned in the moon 1000 years ago and on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars would aid in her escape and she would bring about night time eternal and that only the Elements of Harmony could stop her.”
“What. The. Fuck. This sounds like something out of a fucking manga. Alright, don’t tell me. The summer solstice is just a few days away and it just so happens to be the thousandth year or whatever. you’re gonna tell your leader that something needs to be done. He or she will tell you to get your shit together and that nothing is going to happen and instead send you on some other mission that will lead to stopping the bad thing from happening, in this case the return of this Night Mare Moon person thus saving the day and everyone lives happily ever after. The end.”
“Well, I don’t know about all that, but I must tell the princess.”
“That’s something I’ve been wondering. Why do you keep contacting the princess with all your findings? Why not the king or queen?”
“We don’t have kings or queens in Equestria.” Seriously? The country is called Equestria?
“Eh, whatever. Send the note if you must, but I stand by my stereotypical plotline theory.”
“Spike--actually, Síor, take a letter.”
“Why me? I may be your prisoner but I’m not your slave.”
“Well, from the way you speak, you clearly have a larger vocabulary than Spike. I grow weary of constantly rewording my letters because he doesn’t understand what I’m trying to say or can’t spell a word. I figure this way, I won’t have to worry about it.”
“Eh, fair enough. Give me something to write with and on.” Her horn lit up with a purple light and the same color surrounded a quill, an ink pot, and some parchment as they floated over to me. “Still not used to the whole magic thing, but thanks. I’m ready when you are.”
She cleared her throat and began telling me what to write. “Dear Princess Celestia, I regret to inform you that the mythical Mare in the Moon is in fact Night Mare Moon. This year is the thousandth year of her banishment and I am certain she will return. The human that I summoned, his name is Síor, mentioned that he had read about the Elements while staying here in the library. He told me that they are what banished Night Mare moon in the first place and I believe they are the only things that can save us from her eternal night. I patiently await your response. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”
“Done. But I have a few questions to ask about some of the things in that letter. Spike, go ahead and send it.” I gave it to him and he did his freaky little fire breath thing to send the letter. “First question: you summoned me?”
“Ah, yes. I was meaning to tell you that. I was testing a spell I found that would summon the most dangerous creature ever. It must have gone wrong because there are no records of humans.”
“Even if this is the same world, there wouldn’t be records because all organic material, including ink and paper, was destroyed. That was actually my only questions. The others were mere musings.”
Suddenly, Spike belched up a flaming scroll and read it. I wasn’t paying attention to what it said because I already knew the gist of it: ‘I’m not saying I don’t believe you but I am saying it’s not important right now. I’m going to send you to do something that seems unimportant but will actually lead to you stopping this bitch. Your teacher, Princess Celestia.’ After Twilight summarized it to me, my assumptions were correct. Next stop: Ponyville.