Next the god of breaking rules went to the home of the weavers of Fate, the three sisters, Spinner, Weaver, and Sealer. Spinner was a filly with the cutie mark of a spindle; Weaver was a mare of mature years with the cutie mark of a loom; and Sealer was an elderly mare with the cutie mark of a scissor. They directed the fates of all living things, for when Spinner spun out a new thread, a new life would be born; Weaver would weave that thread into her loom, the tapestry of life; and when the pattern was done, Sealer would snip off the thread and seal it into the pattern. Thus happens the fate of all things, ponies and gods alike.
"Good day to you, little Spinner," the god of breaking rules said. "You look adorable today!"
"Thank you," Spinner giggled.
"I've come to ask a favor of you. I have these –" He offered up Spinner the beautiful scarves of the sky –"for you to wear. It is so sad that you spin all day and yet never can you wear any of the beautiful cloth that you and your sisters make. "
"They're beautiful!" Spinner said. "So you must want something."
"I only want a small thing. A single spool of thread, that's all."
Spinner seemed to consider it. But Weaver and Sealer heard all that the god had said. "No," Sealer said. "The thread of life is only to be wielded by the Fates. No other god may have our thread. Now go, god of breaking rules."
"But I just got here," the god said.
"And therefore you have been here too long. You are a god of trickery and chaos and we are gods of order and control."
"Now how can that be?" the god asked. "Everyone knows the twists and turns of Fate are wilder and more chaotic than I could ever be. All I do is break a few rules."
Weaver glared at him. "Like the law of sun and moon, night and day. Ponies run in terror to see the moon cover the sun."
"It's not my fault ponies don't appreciate a touching family reunion."
"Like the law of birds and wings," Spinner said.
"Oh, yes, it's a great tragedy for ponies that now they can fly, I'm sure they're crying about it right now. Wait, no, they're not. They're flying in the sky, who by the way is very happy with the gift I gave her." He huffed and stood on his hind legs. "But since you are going to be rude and inhospitable, I'll go."
He spun on his hind legs to turn and walk away, but his back leg gave out under him and he slipped. Wildly he waved his forelimbs and twisted his body so he would fall face first, and he staggered into the loom and then fell.
"Oh no!"
"The tapestry!"
"You've torn it, stupid god of breaking rules! Now we must reweave, quickly, or there will be catastrophe!"
"Go from this place or I will cut your thread," Sealer said menacingly.
"Fine. So sorry I tripped. This is the last time I bring any of you gifts," the god said, and stomped away. When he was no longer in the Fates' home, he grinned broadly, and spat out the spool of thread he'd grabbed with his mouth while he was falling into the loom. The Fates had been too upset by the damage he was causing to notice him stealing the thing he had come for.
Next he went to the god of Love. "Ho, brother! Get drunk with me! My mortal love is dead and I want to mourn her with the god that let me have her for as long as I did."
"That is a delicious-looking wine you've brought," Love said. "It has been some time since I've had a friend to drink with. I will mourn with you, brother."
"This is the best wine I have. Only the best for you, who gave me the time I did have with my love, so I shall be grateful to you forever."
"It is delicious," Love said.
They set to drinking. Now, there are many rules about when you should and should not drink, and the god of breaking rules had broken them all, so he was very experienced with drink. Love made use of drink at times to bring ponies together and make them lose their fear of admitting their love, but rarely did Love drink himself. So it wasn't long before Love was very drunk.
"Oh, brother," the god of breaking rules said. "I will never again love another mortal. From now on I shall love only goddesses."
"Thassh a fine idea," Love said. "Fine idea. Goddeshesh."
"I am very attracted to Nature," the god of breaking rules admitted. "She is so wild. And she breaks many rules, as I do. But she is so beautiful, how would she ever be willing to love me?"
"Yer right, brozzer. Shesh outta yer league," Love said.
"Dear brother, I don't suppose you’d be able to help me with that?"
"Well. Nature. She doeshn't do love. Nopony tiesh her down, you know? Free... free shpirit. But she likes shex. Lotsh of it. Sho I could give you a lusht potion and at leasht you could have her for a night, you know?"
"Thank you brother, that will help me greatly. I'm sure with my charm and my skill in bed, I can win Nature's love, so long as she desires me."
So Love gave the god of breaking rules a potion to seduce Nature with.
When the god of breaking rules went to see Nature, he brought more wine. "Nature! My beloved sister! Please walk with me. My heart is broken and I am lonely, for my mortal love is dead. Only time spent in your beautiful company will ease me!"
"You silly flatterer," Nature said, laughing, for she liked the god of breaking rules. She had allowed him to make some of her creatures and break the rules she had created, for Nature creates rules only to break them. "I see you've brought wine."
"Only the finest for my most beautiful sister!"
Before long, Nature had drunk the wine with the potion in it. "Oh god of breaking rules, I never noticed before how handsome you are," she said. "I enjoy pleasure very much. Would it please you to spend this night with me?"
"Nothing would please me more," the god of breaking rules said.
Now, if there is anything that has more rules than pleasuring, it must be on a far away world. The god of breaking rules was very, very experienced, because of all the rules to be broken in bedrooms. Of course Nature was experienced and lusty as well. They enjoyed each other for hours and hours. But the god of breaking rules took care to spend most of his time pleasing his partner rather than taking pleasure for himself. And thus, when their pleasuring was done, Nature fell asleep, exhausted by all her enjoyment. But the god of breaking rules did not. He rolled out of bed as the Dark Lady of Dreams approached, so she found only Nature in the bed. And as the Lady of Dreams brought dreams to Nature, the god of breaking rules left Nature's boudoir to find her workroom, where she kept the clay of life, the substance she makes all living creatures from. He stole a large blob, the size of a muzzle, but because he was the god of breaking rules it was enough clay to make a pony. Then he crept out, careful not to wake Nature from her dreams.
Now he went to his final stop, the Goddess of Wisdom. As she sat in her library, penning a tome of magic, he entered. "Lovely goddess! What a beautiful morning this is!"
"I haven't been out of my library yet, so I wouldn't know." She looked up. "God of breaking rules, I am busy. Stop trying to flatter me and get to the point."
"I have come again to ask if I may free my mortal love from the land of the dead and make her immortal. I cannot go on without my love. Day and night all I can think of is my broken heart and my grief for her."
The Goddess of Wisdom said, "You should have thought of that before you fell in love with a mortal."
"We don't choose who we love!" the god of breaking rules said. "And she died so young! It wasn't even her time!"
"Listen well, god of breaking rules," the Goddess of Wisdom said. "The law of life and death exists for a reason, and you may not gainsay it. To violate that law would shatter the harmony of the world, and bring nothing but chaos. I am sorry, but you will get over your grief, in time."
Angrily the god grabbed a book off the Goddess' shelf and swallowed it. The Goddess was angered. "You are destroying my book!"
"It needed some salt," the god of breaking rules said, and ran from the Goddess of Wisdom's wrath. The book that he ate was the dictionary that translates between the words of mares and the words of stallions, and that is why mares and stallions have such a hard time understanding each other.
When he had left the Goddess of Wisdom, he spit the book back out, well chewed, and pulled out its bone-white pages from within. He chewed the pages some more until they were a pulp, and then twisted them into the shape of a horn, and blew on the shape to make it solid and dry. Then he removed his own horn for safekeeping and swallowed it, and placed the fake horn on his head. He bundled all the things he had gathered – the clay, the hearts of the sun and the moon, and the spool of thread – into the scarves, and he swallowed them too.
And then the god of breaking rules went to the gate blocking the Land of the Dead.