//------------------------------// // Chapter 28: Family Appreciation Day // Story: The Cassandra Chronicles // by CassandraMyOCisBestpony //------------------------------// Once a year, Cassandra had to go restore world order with magic. The town was despondent because it meant she had to go away for a few days, but they dug deep and found ways to get through it, difficult as it was. One weird after-effect of Cassandra's magic was the zap apples growing on Sweet Apple Acres. Granny Smith and Applebloom were hopping around the watering cans in bunny costumes while singing the alphabet song. Applejack sat out because she had trouble remembering all 26 letters and what order they came in. Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara stopped by. "Hello Mrs. Smith, how are you?" said Filthy Rich, "I'm here for my one hundred jars of zap apple jam" "Er.. come again?" asked Granny Smith confusedly. "Ah made a deal with Filthy Rich, wherein ah give him a hundred jars o' Zap Apple jam at an enormous volume discount." explained Applejack proudly. "That's a terrible deal!" exclaimed Granny Smith, "we have no problems selling all our jam at unit price! What'd ya do that for? Did ya get distracted 'cause you were thinkin' about expressin' some 'Family Appreciation' to Cousin Braeburn?" Applejack was shocked, "Granny, how could ya say somethin' so vulgar?" "Oh don't be a prude Applejack, everypony knows." "It's true AJ, yer a real screamer" said Applebloom. "Eeyup" said Big Mac "Well anyways, Mr. Rich, ah think it goes without sayin', but this deal is null and void." "I'll give you my daughter for fifty jars." offered Filthy Rich. "What the hell, dad?" "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. She's only worth ten." "An' what're we supposed to do with her exactly?" asked Granny Smith, "she can't do any heavy lifting, and she's really rude to my Applebloom." "She comes with some jewelry." "Mr. Rich, th' two o' us are done conductin' business, so officially yer on mah property without an invitation and ah can legally shoot you." The two rich ponies got the message and hurried away. ***** It was Family Appreciation Day, and Cherilee's class was giving their Family Appreciation projects. DIamond Tiara Rich had brought in her father Filthy Rich to talk about his business, "...my thousands of stores turned in record quarterly profits. so for the first time in years, I was able to buy my daughter all the expensive gifts she demanded, without going into debt. Any questions?" "This is so fascinating, daddy" gushed Diamond Tiara. "No, it isn't. Even your friend Silver Spoon doesn't think so." He nodded at the grey pony who was fast asleep. "Class, on Monday it will be Applebloom's turn to bring in a family member," said Cherilee. "Applejack an' Big Mac are busy, so ah don't got nopony to bring ta school." said Applebloom "Yes she does" said Diamond Tiara haughtily, "she can bring in Granny Smith." "And you wonder why everypony hates you." said Filthy Rich "Oh wonderful Applebloom!" exclaimed the oblivious Cheeriliee, "Bring in Granny Smith on Monday." ***** "AJ, how come ya never do nothin' when Diamond Tiara's pickin' on Applebloom?" said Granny Smith to Applejack. "Ah, they're just jokin' around." insisted Applejack. "Hey Appleblank!" said Diamond Tiara, "You'll never get your cutie mark, so why don't you just kill yourself? Are too much of a a coward, or can your family just not afford the bullet?" "See? They're such jokers" chuckled Applejack. Granny Smith glared at her. "Alright, alrgiht, ah'll step in." She yelled to Diamond Tiara, "HEY! Ah'll have ya know, we can afford enough bullets ta kill all ourselves if we wanted!" She turned to back to Granny with a satisfied look, "Ah nipped that one in th' bud." Granny rolled her eyes. ***** It was Monday, and Applebloom had failed to keep Granny Smith from coming to school. "I can't wait to see how much she'll embarrass herself" snarked Silver Spoons "Maybe if we're lucky she'll forget her entire story." said Diamond Tiara. They both laughed. Ignoring them, Granny Smith began with her sepia-toned story "Long ago, ah founded Ponyville with a few other members of mah family. We invented the Zap Apples and set up shop in Ponyville. Ponies came from all over to taste our Zap Apple jam. In fact, it was so good that most of 'em uprooted their entire lives and moved here. But that's not th' best part. Th' best part is, ah knew Cassandra!" The class gasped. After they settled down, she continued, "You see, about ten years later, Cassandra saved my life from Timberwolves and ah was so grateful that ah gave her her first ever session of parctice kissin'. Ah was quite th' looker back in th' day. We was gonna name this town Cassandraville, but she insisted we give it a more inclusive name so that th' other ponies didn't get jealous." The students were moved to tears by Granny Smith's story, but mostly because of Cassandra's humility. Diamond Tiara was still seething "But she's a weird old lady!" "Tiara, ah've had just about enough o' yer shit! Ah may be old and ah may be weird, but that don't mean ah can't kick yer ass!" She pulled out a beehive, "Get'er Beeatrice!!!" She threw the beehive at Diamond Tiara, and instantly a swarm of bees surrounded her, stinging relentlessly. She screamed in pain as the infinite stings entered all parts of her body, each one hurting more than the last. She begged for mercy, but the bees were so moved by Granny Smith's kindness from earlier that they were willing to lay down their lives at her command. When the cloud finally cleared, Tiara was swelled up like a zeppelin, her eyes and mouth pressed shut. "I don't think I can breathe" she choked out. "Nopony likes a whiner" scolded Cherilee "Wow Granny, that was so cool!" gushed Applebloom, "ah can't believe ah thought about bringin' in Applejack over you. Ah'm sorry." "That's all right honeybun. Mah name is Granny Smith, it's mah job ta know if two of mah grandchildren are canoodlin' with each other, or if mah granddaughter is gettin' picked on. Doin' somethin' like stretchin' th' truth on a story ta impress yer friends ain't nothin' but a day's work. Honesty is th' least important Element after all." "So how much o'that story was true?" "Ponyville was founded over 500 years ago, and ah sure as shootin' ain't 500 years old. But ah was quite th' looker back in th' day." She winked at the camera.